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Beautiful, Birthday, and Bless Up: This old man turned 15 today. Can we wish my four egged baby a happy birthday? So this morning on the way to the gym I parked in the lot, took my glasses off and left them in the middle console of my car so I could run inside and get it in on this stair master (while watching my wifey who don’t know she my wifey Mrs Maizel do her COT 👏 DAMN 👏 THING 👏 ON 👏 THAT 👏 SCREEN 👏 U 👏 GO 👏 BABY 👏 GIRL 👏 EFF 👏 JOEL 👏 WITCHOE 👏 SHARP 👏 WIT 👏 AND 👏 MOUNTAINOUS 👏 TÈTA$ 👏 LMAO) because I only need them to see far, not while I’m actually at the gym. I come back after knocking out my workout and the left lens is frozen over bruv. BRUV. I CANT SEE LMAO. The steam had frozen into a beautiful snowflake pattern but just one eye. I have driven in a car with a frozen windshield because I am too rushed to scrape it but having to drive with one frozen eyeball was some insane Sh!t bruv! It was a gentle reminder of this ridiculous frozen tundra that I live in and that arguably no human should live in because who the hell would want to live under 4 to 6 inches of snow LOL (Canada, no shots, I know yall get twice as much snow on a regular schmegular Wednesday but y’all veins pump maple syrup it don’t freeze like us we got normal blood lmao.) Anyway this summer I’ll be back to talking smack about how Chicago is the best city on earth so when I do that, y’all are authorized to remind me that once upon a time I was tight asf that I lived in the cot dang South Pole. Remember that brand? South Pole? With the baggy coats and jeans? I used to want to afford that stuff so much but I couldn’t but then when it fell out of style I was like I NEVER ROCKED THAT UGLY ISHT HAHAHAHAHA I AM SO FANCY (why am I like this 😑 bless up 😍😂😂) (Slide 1: @aturner411. Slide 2: reddit u-wampus514. Please check out www.dogs4warriors.org ❤️. Slide 3: @goosewhomst. Slide 4: @jadethesablegsd.)
Beautiful, Birthday, and Bless Up: This old man turned 15 today. Can we wish my four
 egged baby a happy birthday?
So this morning on the way to the gym I parked in the lot, took my glasses off and left them in the middle console of my car so I could run inside and get it in on this stair master (while watching my wifey who don’t know she my wifey Mrs Maizel do her COT 👏 DAMN 👏 THING 👏 ON 👏 THAT 👏 SCREEN 👏 U 👏 GO 👏 BABY 👏 GIRL 👏 EFF 👏 JOEL 👏 WITCHOE 👏 SHARP 👏 WIT 👏 AND 👏 MOUNTAINOUS 👏 TÈTA$ 👏 LMAO) because I only need them to see far, not while I’m actually at the gym. I come back after knocking out my workout and the left lens is frozen over bruv. BRUV. I CANT SEE LMAO. The steam had frozen into a beautiful snowflake pattern but just one eye. I have driven in a car with a frozen windshield because I am too rushed to scrape it but having to drive with one frozen eyeball was some insane Sh!t bruv! It was a gentle reminder of this ridiculous frozen tundra that I live in and that arguably no human should live in because who the hell would want to live under 4 to 6 inches of snow LOL (Canada, no shots, I know yall get twice as much snow on a regular schmegular Wednesday but y’all veins pump maple syrup it don’t freeze like us we got normal blood lmao.) Anyway this summer I’ll be back to talking smack about how Chicago is the best city on earth so when I do that, y’all are authorized to remind me that once upon a time I was tight asf that I lived in the cot dang South Pole. Remember that brand? South Pole? With the baggy coats and jeans? I used to want to afford that stuff so much but I couldn’t but then when it fell out of style I was like I NEVER ROCKED THAT UGLY ISHT HAHAHAHAHA I AM SO FANCY (why am I like this 😑 bless up 😍😂😂) (Slide 1: @aturner411. Slide 2: reddit u-wampus514. Please check out www.dogs4warriors.org ❤️. Slide 3: @goosewhomst. Slide 4: @jadethesablegsd.)

So this morning on the way to the gym I parked in the lot, took my glasses off and left them in the middle console of my car so I could run ...

Arguing, Beautiful, and Bless Up: Our Ginger lost her eye in November, but is a tough girl and we think just as beautiful as ever! So I’m texting with my lil Caucasian homegirl (this is relevant in a second people - bear with me cot dammit 😂) and I’m like “aye I seen your snap story you look super happy being home” and she like “Break is relaxing!! T God!! I needed it. And hehe yeah Jim is a keeper ☺️☺️☺️ miss u” <— I did not edit this lmao this how she talk I’m pasting here to prove I ain’t make this Sh!t up 🥶. And I’m like “Jim?” And she like “My father!!!! I call my parents Jim & Mary lmao whiteprivilege. I know lots of kids would be gettin the belt or facing the wrath of the chancla 😂💀” FAMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMm 😩😂😂. Y’all really got the chancla confrused (yes ‘confrused’.) Y’all confrused about the chancla fam. Chancleta came out for MINOR offenses. Misdemeanors. Not no COT damn felony manslaughter 😂. Failure to obey the reasonable directive of mom duke: chancleta. Talk bacc to mama after she said something wildly offensive: chancleta. Fight - argue with big sister who started it and plus I was acting in self defense: chancleta + wooden spoon. Fam! I would get the chancleta for some Sh!t I ain’t do! 😂 Framed for a crime and without any due process: chancleta. If I hecked around and called my mama by her government(?) FAM 😂. That’s not a slap on the wrist (with a chancleta). That would just be: “goodbye.” Deada$$. Like “good 👏......bye 😥”. Emphasis on the good but then a soft, theatrical ‘bye’. That’s not even a “talk it out”. That’s just one of them “pack a small suitcase and literally dip” like in the movies lmao. Like I gotta come bacc after 10 years and I knock on the door and I have very long facial hair (even longer that it is now 😬) and she don’t recognize me and I’m like “mama?” And she like “I am sorry u at the wrong house.” And I’m like “mama I’m your son.” And she like “I HAD a son. He died.” YES FAM - DIED. DECEASED. LIKE HOW DECEASED I STILL BE EVERY TIME ONE OF MY HWITE FRENS BE ON A FIRST NAME BASIS WITH THEY PARENTS. YALL BEYOND WILD FOR THAT. BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 1: u-aprils96. Slide 2: u-stados4. Slide 3: u-JamesonRae. Slide 4: u-coinmurderer. Slide 5: u-BlemMlemFlep. Slide 6: u-samosa_pav.).
Arguing, Beautiful, and Bless Up: Our Ginger lost her eye in November, but
 is a tough girl and we think just as
 beautiful as ever!
So I’m texting with my lil Caucasian homegirl (this is relevant in a second people - bear with me cot dammit 😂) and I’m like “aye I seen your snap story you look super happy being home” and she like “Break is relaxing!! T God!! I needed it. And hehe yeah Jim is a keeper ☺️☺️☺️ miss u” <— I did not edit this lmao this how she talk I’m pasting here to prove I ain’t make this Sh!t up 🥶. And I’m like “Jim?” And she like “My father!!!! I call my parents Jim & Mary lmao whiteprivilege. I know lots of kids would be gettin the belt or facing the wrath of the chancla 😂💀” FAMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMm 😩😂😂. Y’all really got the chancla confrused (yes ‘confrused’.) Y’all confrused about the chancla fam. Chancleta came out for MINOR offenses. Misdemeanors. Not no COT damn felony manslaughter 😂. Failure to obey the reasonable directive of mom duke: chancleta. Talk bacc to mama after she said something wildly offensive: chancleta. Fight - argue with big sister who started it and plus I was acting in self defense: chancleta + wooden spoon. Fam! I would get the chancleta for some Sh!t I ain’t do! 😂 Framed for a crime and without any due process: chancleta. If I hecked around and called my mama by her government(?) FAM 😂. That’s not a slap on the wrist (with a chancleta). That would just be: “goodbye.” Deada$$. Like “good 👏......bye 😥”. Emphasis on the good but then a soft, theatrical ‘bye’. That’s not even a “talk it out”. That’s just one of them “pack a small suitcase and literally dip” like in the movies lmao. Like I gotta come bacc after 10 years and I knock on the door and I have very long facial hair (even longer that it is now 😬) and she don’t recognize me and I’m like “mama?” And she like “I am sorry u at the wrong house.” And I’m like “mama I’m your son.” And she like “I HAD a son. He died.” YES FAM - DIED. DECEASED. LIKE HOW DECEASED I STILL BE EVERY TIME ONE OF MY HWITE FRENS BE ON A FIRST NAME BASIS WITH THEY PARENTS. YALL BEYOND WILD FOR THAT. BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 1: u-aprils96. Slide 2: u-stados4. Slide 3: u-JamesonRae. Slide 4: u-coinmurderer. Slide 5: u-BlemMlemFlep. Slide 6: u-samosa_pav.).

So I’m texting with my lil Caucasian homegirl (this is relevant in a second people - bear with me cot dammit 😂) and I’m like “aye I seen you...

Complex, Fire, and Friends: 23 EMOTIONS PEOPLE FEEL, BUT CAN'T EXPLAIN tai-korczak: 1. Sonder: The realization that each passerby has a life as vivid 2. Opia: The ambiguous intensity of Looking someone in the eye 3. Monachopsis: The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of 4. Énouement: The bittersweetness of having arrived in the and complex as your own which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable place future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self 5. Vellichor: The strange wistfulness of used bookshops 6. Rubatosis: The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat 7. Kenopsia: The eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that is usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet. away, even close friends who you really like out in your head thunderstorm amazing when thousands of identical photos already exist. nobody is listening history will turn out violence plane crash, or to lose everything in a fire experience because people are unable to relate to it 8. Mauerbauertraurigkeit: The inexplicable urge to push people 9. Jouska: A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play 10. Chrysalism: The amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a 11. Vemödalen: The frustration of photographic something 12. Anecdoche: A conversation in which everyone is talking, but 13. Ellipsism: A sadness that you'l never be able to know how 14. Kuebiko: A state of exhaustion inspired by acts of senseless 15. Lachesism: The desire to be struck by disaster - to survive a 16. Exulansis: The tendency to give up trying to talk about arn 17. Adronitis: Frustration with how long it takes to get to know 18. Rūckkehrunruhe: The feeling of returning home after an someone immersive trip only to find it fading rapidly from your awareness 19. Nodus Tollens: The realization that the plot of your life doesn't 20. Onism: The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that 21. Liberosis: The desire to care less about things make sense to you anymore inhabits only one place at a time 22. Altschmerz: Weariness with the same old issues that you've always had - the same boring flaws and anxieties that you've been gnawing on for years 23. Occhiolism: The awareness of the smallness of your perspective
Complex, Fire, and Friends: 23 EMOTIONS PEOPLE FEEL, BUT CAN'T EXPLAIN
 tai-korczak:
 1. Sonder: The realization that each passerby has a life as vivid
 2. Opia: The ambiguous intensity of Looking someone in the eye
 3. Monachopsis: The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of
 4. Énouement: The bittersweetness of having arrived in the
 and complex as your own
 which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable
 place
 future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell
 your past self
 5. Vellichor: The strange wistfulness of used bookshops
 6. Rubatosis: The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat
 7. Kenopsia: The eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that is
 usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet.
 away, even close friends who you really like
 out in your head
 thunderstorm
 amazing when thousands of identical photos already exist.
 nobody is listening
 history will turn out
 violence
 plane crash, or to lose everything in a fire
 experience because people are unable to relate to it
 8. Mauerbauertraurigkeit: The inexplicable urge to push people
 9. Jouska: A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play
 10. Chrysalism: The amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a
 11. Vemödalen: The frustration of photographic something
 12. Anecdoche: A conversation in which everyone is talking, but
 13. Ellipsism: A sadness that you'l never be able to know how
 14. Kuebiko: A state of exhaustion inspired by acts of senseless
 15. Lachesism: The desire to be struck by disaster - to survive a
 16. Exulansis: The tendency to give up trying to talk about arn
 17. Adronitis: Frustration with how long it takes to get to know
 18. Rūckkehrunruhe: The feeling of returning home after an
 someone
 immersive trip only to find it fading rapidly from your
 awareness
 19. Nodus Tollens: The realization that the plot of your life doesn't
 20. Onism: The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that
 21. Liberosis: The desire to care less about things
 make sense to you anymore
 inhabits only one place at a time
 22. Altschmerz: Weariness with the same old issues that you've
 always had - the same boring flaws and anxieties that you've
 been gnawing on for years
 23. Occhiolism: The awareness of the smallness of your
 perspective