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Amazon, Complex, and Jeff Bezos: Dazed Jeff Bezos Realizes He Spent Entire Conversation Thinking About How To Automate Person Talking To Him theonion: SEATTLE—Suddenly snapping back to attention, a dazed Jeff Bezos reportedly realized Thursday that he had spent an entire conversation thinking about how to automate the person talking to him. “Sorry, could you repeat that? I just lost focus for a second [as I indifferently watched you open and close your mouth, becoming increasingly aware of the fact that a simple machine could do the exact same things as you],” Bezos said to the Amazon vice president in front of him, even as he resumed brainstorming a complex algorithm that would streamline the executive’s duties, perform them with greater speed and efficiency, and possibly even capture some of his unique human qualities to make it user-friendly. “Whoops, there I go again. I must’ve spaced out [after realizing I could probably render you completely irrelevant within just a few years]. I guess I’m really distracted today [by the tantalizing thought of an automaton executing every one of your relevant functions for no salary with never a single complaint].” Bezos, who suddenly recalled a series of vivid dreams from the previous night in which he automated the entire American workforce, went on to apologize for not getting much sleep.
Amazon, Complex, and Jeff Bezos: Dazed Jeff Bezos Realizes
 He Spent Entire Conversation
 Thinking About How To Automate
 Person Talking To Him
theonion:

SEATTLE—Suddenly snapping back to attention, a dazed Jeff Bezos reportedly realized Thursday that he had spent an entire conversation thinking about how to automate the person talking to him. “Sorry, could you repeat that? I just lost focus for a second [as I indifferently watched you open and close your mouth, becoming increasingly aware of the fact that a simple machine could do the exact same things as you],” Bezos said to the Amazon vice president in front of him, even as he resumed brainstorming a complex algorithm that would streamline the executive’s duties, perform them with greater speed and efficiency, and possibly even capture some of his unique human qualities to make it user-friendly. “Whoops, there I go again. I must’ve spaced out [after realizing I could probably render you completely irrelevant within just a few years]. I guess I’m really distracted today [by the tantalizing thought of an automaton executing every one of your relevant functions for no salary with never a single complaint].” Bezos, who suddenly recalled a series of vivid dreams from the previous night in which he automated the entire American workforce, went on to apologize for not getting much sleep.

theonion: SEATTLE—Suddenly snapping back to attention, a dazed Jeff Bezos reportedly realized Thursday that he had spent an entire conversa...

Af, Amazon, and Bilbo: orbeS Follow @Forbes Amazon founder Jeff Bezos is $3.3B richer than he was a week ago on.forbes.com/6018DcxDj 1:21 PM 11 Jun 2018 2,282 Retweets 5,023 Likes The Artist Formerly Known as Owen Follow @OwennnThomas When I worked at Amazon we had to run around the warehouse, bc if our pick rate fell below a certain number we stopped getting paid There were bottles & bins full of piss at odd points, bc you were penalised for toilet breaks A co-worker attempted suicide on-site bc of the stress Forbes @Forbes Amazon founder Jeff Bezos is $3.3B richer than he was a week ago on.forbes.com/6018DaDj 5:05 AM - 16 Jun 2018 OCO 97,491 Retweets194,744 Likes Michael @Boykiddwonder Follow I deliver for Amazon. Where there is no consistent pay. Money is taken out my check to pay for their vans insurance. No benefits. Work 60 plus hours. Once you finish you can go home but they map out your route to try and keep you late and get mad when you get done early. Forbes @Forbes Amazon founder Jeff Bezos is $3.3B richer than he was a week ago on.forbes.com/6018DoDj 4:26 PM- 16 Jun 2018 9.303 Retweets 18,144LkeseO gorps: kaldicuct: decentcunt: kaldicuct: gahdamnpunk: This mf can seriously go choke Gonna go over this again. Protest the working conditions, not what the boss makes. Getting paid more does nothing for the working conditions where it’s so stressful someone attempts suicide. Or do you really think that kind of work suddenly gets better because bigger paycheck? Also, I just want to point out, a lot of this is illegal as fuck. If these claims are true and not just butthurt little kids because “wha whaaa whaaa! I want more money!” Then they should file a report and get that shit handled. Posting on social media isn’t going to do shit. You’re only half right, and clearly not abreast of the issue, m8. While you’re correct that the working conditions are shit and illegal af (my m8 worked there in their Kent WA facility) and the way they purposefully stretch your hours and call you 30 mins before they want you there for random shifts that they will fire you if you don’t take. The piss bottle thing is legit. If he didn’t run across the warehouse and sort quickly enough he got screamed at and told he had to do manual unpaid overtime or he was shitcanned, and they would blacklist him for any other company he would apply to. Any time he got a phone call from work while off shift he would end up in tears due to stress. Reporting the conditions didn’t help. The other problem is they are being paid the absolute lowest wage that is legal to pay them, and of those 60 hr weeks? Obit 40 hrs of it gets paid. Rest is mandatory unpaid ot. Jeff Bezos makes billions. Please tell me why he can’t afford to pay his workers fair wages and to fix working conditions? Why he refuses Seattles $15 minimum and the yearly taxes? I know it’s bc he can get away with it currently, but that’s why ppl are upset. That’s why they’re bringing up his wage. Bc this issue is a 2 parter m8. Just sayin. That’s the thing. All of this people can legit sue for. I’m taking you at face value here. I’m coming at this like you are telling me the gospel truth. Reports need to be filed. Lawsuits filed. Because this shit is ILLEGAL. But people would rather bitch on social media. Get me? Galaxy brain tumblr user: Why don’t the completely broke, ununionized factory workers just sue Amazon, the multi billion dollar multinational corporation?
Af, Amazon, and Bilbo: orbeS
 Follow
 @Forbes
 Amazon founder Jeff Bezos is $3.3B richer
 than he was a week ago
 on.forbes.com/6018DcxDj
 1:21 PM 11 Jun 2018
 2,282 Retweets 5,023 Likes

 The Artist Formerly Known as Owen
 Follow
 @OwennnThomas
 When I worked at Amazon we had to run
 around the warehouse, bc if our pick rate
 fell below a certain number we stopped
 getting paid
 There were bottles & bins full of piss at
 odd points, bc you were penalised for
 toilet breaks
 A co-worker attempted suicide on-site
 bc of the stress
 Forbes @Forbes
 Amazon founder Jeff Bezos is $3.3B richer than he was a
 week ago
 on.forbes.com/6018DaDj
 5:05 AM - 16 Jun 2018
 OCO
 97,491 Retweets194,744 Likes

 Michael
 @Boykiddwonder
 Follow
 I deliver for Amazon. Where there is no
 consistent pay. Money is taken out my
 check to pay for their vans insurance. No
 benefits. Work 60 plus hours. Once you
 finish you can go home but they map
 out your route to try and keep you late
 and get mad when you get done early.
 Forbes @Forbes
 Amazon founder Jeff Bezos is $3.3B richer than he was a
 week ago
 on.forbes.com/6018DoDj
 4:26 PM- 16 Jun 2018
 9.303 Retweets 18,144LkeseO
gorps:

kaldicuct:


decentcunt:


kaldicuct:


gahdamnpunk:
This mf can seriously go choke
Gonna go over this again.
Protest the working conditions, not what the boss makes.
Getting paid more does nothing for the working conditions where it’s so stressful someone attempts suicide. Or do you really think that kind of work suddenly gets better because bigger paycheck?
Also, I just want to point out, a lot of this is illegal as fuck. If these claims are true and not just butthurt little kids because “wha whaaa whaaa! I want more money!” Then they should file a report and get that shit handled. Posting on social media isn’t going to do shit.


You’re only half right, and clearly not abreast of the issue, m8.
While you’re correct that the working conditions are shit and illegal af (my m8 worked there in their Kent WA facility) and the way they purposefully stretch your hours and call you 30 mins before they want you there for random shifts that they will fire you if you don’t take. The piss bottle thing is legit. If he didn’t run across the warehouse and sort quickly enough he got screamed at and told he had to do manual unpaid overtime or he was shitcanned, and they would blacklist him for any other company he would apply to. 
Any time he got a phone call from work while off shift he would end up in tears due to stress. 
Reporting the conditions didn’t help. 
The other problem is they are being paid the absolute lowest wage that is legal to pay them, and of those 60 hr weeks? Obit 40 hrs of it gets paid. Rest is mandatory unpaid ot.
Jeff Bezos makes billions. Please tell me why he can’t afford to pay his workers fair wages and to fix working conditions? Why he refuses Seattles $15 minimum and the yearly taxes? I know it’s bc he can get away with it currently, but that’s why ppl are upset. That’s why they’re bringing up his wage. Bc this issue is a 2 parter m8. Just sayin.


That’s the thing. All of this people can legit sue for. I’m taking you at face value here. I’m coming at this like you are telling me the gospel truth. Reports need to be filed. Lawsuits filed. Because this shit is ILLEGAL. But people would rather bitch on social media. 
Get me?


Galaxy brain tumblr user: Why don’t the completely broke, ununionized factory workers just sue Amazon, the multi billion dollar multinational corporation?

gorps: kaldicuct: decentcunt: kaldicuct: gahdamnpunk: This mf can seriously go choke Gonna go over this again. Protest the working co...