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Amazon, Complex, and Jeff Bezos: Dazed Jeff Bezos Realizes He Spent Entire Conversation Thinking About How To Automate Person Talking To Him theonion: SEATTLE—Suddenly snapping back to attention, a dazed Jeff Bezos reportedly realized Thursday that he had spent an entire conversation thinking about how to automate the person talking to him. “Sorry, could you repeat that? I just lost focus for a second [as I indifferently watched you open and close your mouth, becoming increasingly aware of the fact that a simple machine could do the exact same things as you],” Bezos said to the Amazon vice president in front of him, even as he resumed brainstorming a complex algorithm that would streamline the executive’s duties, perform them with greater speed and efficiency, and possibly even capture some of his unique human qualities to make it user-friendly. “Whoops, there I go again. I must’ve spaced out [after realizing I could probably render you completely irrelevant within just a few years]. I guess I’m really distracted today [by the tantalizing thought of an automaton executing every one of your relevant functions for no salary with never a single complaint].” Bezos, who suddenly recalled a series of vivid dreams from the previous night in which he automated the entire American workforce, went on to apologize for not getting much sleep.
Amazon, Complex, and Jeff Bezos: Dazed Jeff Bezos Realizes
 He Spent Entire Conversation
 Thinking About How To Automate
 Person Talking To Him
theonion:

SEATTLE—Suddenly snapping back to attention, a dazed Jeff Bezos reportedly realized Thursday that he had spent an entire conversation thinking about how to automate the person talking to him. “Sorry, could you repeat that? I just lost focus for a second [as I indifferently watched you open and close your mouth, becoming increasingly aware of the fact that a simple machine could do the exact same things as you],” Bezos said to the Amazon vice president in front of him, even as he resumed brainstorming a complex algorithm that would streamline the executive’s duties, perform them with greater speed and efficiency, and possibly even capture some of his unique human qualities to make it user-friendly. “Whoops, there I go again. I must’ve spaced out [after realizing I could probably render you completely irrelevant within just a few years]. I guess I’m really distracted today [by the tantalizing thought of an automaton executing every one of your relevant functions for no salary with never a single complaint].” Bezos, who suddenly recalled a series of vivid dreams from the previous night in which he automated the entire American workforce, went on to apologize for not getting much sleep.

theonion: SEATTLE—Suddenly snapping back to attention, a dazed Jeff Bezos reportedly realized Thursday that he had spent an entire conversa...

America, Bernie Sanders, and Beyonce: Obama Named 'Most Admired Man' Again, Beats Out Trump @balleralert Obama Named 'Most Admired Man' Again, Beats Out Trump - blogged by: @ashleytearra ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Former President BarackObama has been named the 'most admired man' for the tenth year in a row, according to a poll released by Gallup News. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Earlier in the month, Gallup surveyed 1,049 adults, asking which man and woman in the United States of America they admired most. This past Wednesday, those results were revealed. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ While Trump came in at 14%, Obama took the leading spot, sitting at 17% and beating Trump out by 3% in the men's poll. Hillary Clinton-who has held the 'most admired woman' title a total of 22 times, retained it for the 16th consecutive year, coming in at 9% to Michelle Obama's 7%. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ However, this happens to be Clinton's lowest percentage that she's received since 2002. Last year, she stood at 12%, while Barack Obama scored at 22%. But, although this year's percentage rates were relatively low, it's unquestionable that, even outside of the White House, everybody loves Obama! Obviously, that trumps all... even Mr. Trump, himself. No pun intended. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Pope Francis, Rev. Billy Graham, John McCain, Elon Musk, Bernie Sanders, Bill Gates, Benjamin Netanyahu, Jeff Bezos, The Dalai Lama, and Mike Pence followed Donald Trump in the poll. Falling behind Michelle Obama was Oprah Winfrey, Elizabeth Warren, Angela Merkel, Queen Elizabeth II, Condoleezza Rice, Melania Trump, Nikki Haley, Duchess Kate Middleton, and Beyoncé Knowles-Carter. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Trump had 35% of Republican voters who chose him as their most admired man. Obama led among Democrats, with 39% making him their top choice. Independents also elected Obama over Trump by a three-point margin.
America, Bernie Sanders, and Beyonce: Obama Named 'Most Admired
 Man' Again, Beats Out Trump
 @balleralert
Obama Named 'Most Admired Man' Again, Beats Out Trump - blogged by: @ashleytearra ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Former President BarackObama has been named the 'most admired man' for the tenth year in a row, according to a poll released by Gallup News. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Earlier in the month, Gallup surveyed 1,049 adults, asking which man and woman in the United States of America they admired most. This past Wednesday, those results were revealed. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ While Trump came in at 14%, Obama took the leading spot, sitting at 17% and beating Trump out by 3% in the men's poll. Hillary Clinton-who has held the 'most admired woman' title a total of 22 times, retained it for the 16th consecutive year, coming in at 9% to Michelle Obama's 7%. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ However, this happens to be Clinton's lowest percentage that she's received since 2002. Last year, she stood at 12%, while Barack Obama scored at 22%. But, although this year's percentage rates were relatively low, it's unquestionable that, even outside of the White House, everybody loves Obama! Obviously, that trumps all... even Mr. Trump, himself. No pun intended. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Pope Francis, Rev. Billy Graham, John McCain, Elon Musk, Bernie Sanders, Bill Gates, Benjamin Netanyahu, Jeff Bezos, The Dalai Lama, and Mike Pence followed Donald Trump in the poll. Falling behind Michelle Obama was Oprah Winfrey, Elizabeth Warren, Angela Merkel, Queen Elizabeth II, Condoleezza Rice, Melania Trump, Nikki Haley, Duchess Kate Middleton, and Beyoncé Knowles-Carter. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Trump had 35% of Republican voters who chose him as their most admired man. Obama led among Democrats, with 39% making him their top choice. Independents also elected Obama over Trump by a three-point margin.

Obama Named 'Most Admired Man' Again, Beats Out Trump - blogged by: @ashleytearra ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Former President BarackObama has been name...

Amazon, Friday, and Head: CEO of Amazon Jeff Bezos is Now the Richest Person in the Worlo @balleralert amazon CEO of Amazon Jeff Bezos is Now the Richest Person in the World - Blogged by: @RaquelHarrisTV ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ JeffBezos is the CEO of Amazon. He's also been named the world's richest man - for the second time. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Friday morning, Amazon's stock opened up 8 percent higher than Thursday's close. This raised Bezos' net worth to $7 billion. However, Microsoft and Amazon went head-to-head early on Friday with Microsoft getting a 7 percent bump putting co-founder, BillGates, at 90.1 billion compared to Bezos' 89.7 billion. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ But the battle ended around 10:15am (ET) when Amazon's stock climbed 2 percent adding $900 million to Bezos' net worth and leaving him in the No. 1 spot. Bezos now is worth $90.6 billion versus Gates' 90.1 billion. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Amazon excelled the 42.1 billion in what analysts predicted for its earnings but the company beat their odds with 43.7 billion in total revenue. Amazon had bought Whole Foods in August which made up 1.3 billion of its revenue for the quarter. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Bezos became the world's richest man three months ago when's Amazon's stock hit its peak on July 27th. This is first time Bezos will be No. 1 on the list of Forbes' Realtime Billionaires List.
Amazon, Friday, and Head: CEO of Amazon Jeff Bezos is Now
 the Richest Person in the Worlo
 @balleralert
 amazon
CEO of Amazon Jeff Bezos is Now the Richest Person in the World - Blogged by: @RaquelHarrisTV ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ JeffBezos is the CEO of Amazon. He's also been named the world's richest man - for the second time. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Friday morning, Amazon's stock opened up 8 percent higher than Thursday's close. This raised Bezos' net worth to $7 billion. However, Microsoft and Amazon went head-to-head early on Friday with Microsoft getting a 7 percent bump putting co-founder, BillGates, at 90.1 billion compared to Bezos' 89.7 billion. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ But the battle ended around 10:15am (ET) when Amazon's stock climbed 2 percent adding $900 million to Bezos' net worth and leaving him in the No. 1 spot. Bezos now is worth $90.6 billion versus Gates' 90.1 billion. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Amazon excelled the 42.1 billion in what analysts predicted for its earnings but the company beat their odds with 43.7 billion in total revenue. Amazon had bought Whole Foods in August which made up 1.3 billion of its revenue for the quarter. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Bezos became the world's richest man three months ago when's Amazon's stock hit its peak on July 27th. This is first time Bezos will be No. 1 on the list of Forbes' Realtime Billionaires List.

CEO of Amazon Jeff Bezos is Now the Richest Person in the World - Blogged by: @RaquelHarrisTV ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ JeffBezos is the CEO of Amazon...