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Bad, Definitely, and Google: //sample ansvers from various interviews 178//Question: Write code to find out if a nunber is odd. 179 //Candidate: Qk give me a minute sounds of typing 180 /Candidate: My ansver is voice changes noticeably from speaking-voice to reading-voice //Question: Find all the odd numbers betveen 0-100 182 //Me suspecting that the candi 183 I/Candidate: It means that ve find the percentage of i in 2 googled it*: ok, and can you explain to me what does that line mean? 2 Why are ve f 14 //I walked the candidate through this code carefully single"in the last two lines. This is a candidate who had 8 years total experience twice. There are no typos, not the " 1", and not the 186 //Me "with a nice voice but nalicious intent* : I understand that it is complicated. Have you ever used this tore //Candidate "with obvious reliet: No,never! This is my first tine using it 18 /Question: Find all the odd numbers betveen 0-100 100; rtil) 193 194 //Question: Find all the odd numbers between 0-100 //Candidate: I am sorry, I have forgotten the exact formala for finding odd numbers 23 //candidate said that finding only the odd numbers was too difficult, and this nethod will find ALL numbers, so 196 /Candidate: I understand, but I cannot recall the formala, so I cannot find these numbers 27 //Question: Find all the odd numbers betveen 0-100 200 /Question: Can you tell me about your professional history? //candidate: I try my absolute best to make ธure that my code does not have too many errors before I take it 29 30 the odd numbers between 0 and 205 /Question: Count down from 700 to 200 in decrements of coreot'hinunitt? completely the odd numbers between 0-100 211 I/Me: And if I fixed the syntax errors, will it work then? 213 214 //Me: And why is that2 //Candidate: It has logic errors, too you like //Candidate: I have been programming for 10 years. 5 years as a hobby, and 5 professionally. know PHP, Ruby JS (including both node, angular), MongoDB, Myso, PostgresoL, and more /Me: Nice. What have //candidate: In the 5 years where I worked professionally, I have worked in 4 companies as a webdex. I have multiples sites up, all done from scratch. Some I developed solo, and sone as part of a team. I do both front-end and back-end development. I am ready to tackle any challenge! /Me: ok. using your language of choice, can you find all the odd numbers between 0-1002 7 //Question: Find all the odd numbers betwveen 0-100 you used your skills for? 50 I/I asked the candidate what this code was supposed to do, and the candidate replied: "I do not want to ansver 1 //So I tried again. Same candidate, next question: Find the sun of all integers betveen 0-100 3 //Me:"Ok and if I wanted this done in Javascript? more than this." 222 //Candidate: tries for about 3 minutes 223 I/Candidate: I cannot do this. My skill in mathematics is not high enough 6 I/This was the most experienced candidate, with 19 years of professional experience. Nineteen, no typo. This 226 candidate was programming professionally before many of you were born. /This situation happened with two different candidates. Their responses were worded differently, but the was the same //Me: Ok, I want to ask you a couple of programming questions. Do you have a paper and pen or pencil with you? 0 //Question: Assuming you have two integers, x and y, with y bigger than x. Sum all the numbers from x to y 230 //Me: ok.Using your preferred programming language, find all the odd nunbers between 0 and 1002 Example: If x is 1, and y is 5, then sum 1+2+3+4+5 232 /Me: Yes. Write your code down, and when you are done, read it to me, and then ve can go through it 233 //Candidate: But that is impossible! How can I write code without using a computer? 4+i 237 //Question: Find all the odd numbers betveen 0-100. Note that this was a phone interview 67 //What is happening here? Your guess is as good as mine. Candidate had no idea what this code was supposed to do 239 IMe: I am trying to test your programming skills, not your Google-search skills 240 //Candidate: Baha, right! But İf 1 use Google, how will you know? 241 /Me: I wil1 ask you similar questions in the face-to-face interview 1 //Question: Count down from 700 to 200 in decrements of 13 246 //One of the worst interviews that I had, that made me feel genuinely bad, was this one.I tried to capture the mood of how it went, as I did not get to see any code Some of the actions I describe are what I assume happened on the other end of the phone, based on the sounds that I heard //Me: Greetings! Thanks for letting me interview you. Are you ready and prepared? 247 249 //Me: Alright! Let us start. *İntroductions and a bit of relaxing amantalk, candidate is very cool. Qk, so your resume lists about 5 different programming languages.Are you good in all of them /candidate: I am good in Javaacript and PHP, and ak in Java 81 //Out of curiosity, I asked: "Why is the answer a double?" 82 //Candidate "Because it needs to store the value taken from _two variables. so which is your f 252 //Candidate: Definitely avascript! I did a lot of work in Javascript! 253 /Me: That is good. Can I ask you a question or two in Tavascript 6 //Make a standard deck of cards. Shuftle the deck, and draw two cards at random. Display the two cards Are you 256 //candidate: Yes, yes. I am on the line! ask you a questi can try my best to ansver gentle gloves, ve are not trying to break the candidate Qk. so you know what odd are, right? for (let count Yes Yes,I know odd number 261 /Me: ok. so ny question is this. Using your favourite language, Javascript, can you find all the odd numbers 8 //This was slowly and painstak used for the second part which only had two cards, while no loop was used for the cards... but I decided against the odd numbers ok. Why don't you t then read fter you are //Candidate 'excited and breathless: YES! Yes,yes! scribbling/scratching for about two minutes, then some furious scribbling for a minute, then the fast breathing, but no seribbling sounds 1 1/9uestion: Find all the odd numbers betuween 03 05 assuming x and lieve the candidate put the phone down, and started writing. I could hear some gentl y, someone crossing out many lines on a paper. Then came a minute /Candidate "voice completely broken //Me "making a fatal error of judgement by asking: Is everything ak the odd numbers...uhh think..L the odd... the odd nunbers alm, polite email, much later that this time I regret that I must decline the perplexing, let me Candidate takes the last once to make not, then you add you add odd, then you add 2 Disregarding the sundry minor errors in the code, the logic behind functional, but ribly inefficient two cards at random. Display the two cards 27 var arr-i,2,3, 4,5, 6,7,,9,10,.0K' ar arrl ar two- 36 t (pos arr pos 50 51 52 ition] push (arrti for (wamath finalArr var indexeeArr.indexof (nevArrti] val 72 //Behold this masterpiece! Read it slow and savour every 1ine, for beauties like this come once fetine SWE interview in Saudi Arabia
Bad, Definitely, and Google: //sample ansvers from various interviews
 178//Question: Write code to find out if a nunber is odd.
 179 //Candidate: Qk give me a minute sounds of typing
 180 /Candidate: My ansver is voice changes noticeably from speaking-voice to reading-voice
 //Question: Find all the odd numbers betveen 0-100
 182 //Me suspecting that the candi
 183 I/Candidate: It means that ve find the percentage of i in 2
 googled it*: ok, and can you explain to me what does that line mean?
 2 Why are ve f
 14
 //I walked the candidate through this code carefully
 single"in the last two lines. This is a candidate who had 8 years total experience
 twice. There are no typos, not the " 1", and not the
 186 //Me "with a nice voice but nalicious intent* : I understand that it is complicated. Have you ever used this
 tore
 //Candidate "with obvious reliet: No,never! This is my first tine using it
 18 /Question: Find all the odd numbers betveen 0-100
 100;
 rtil)
 193
 194
 //Question: Find all the odd numbers between 0-100
 //Candidate: I am sorry, I have forgotten the exact formala for finding odd numbers
 23 //candidate said that finding only the odd numbers was too difficult, and this nethod will find ALL numbers, so
 196 /Candidate: I understand, but I cannot recall the formala, so I cannot find these numbers
 27
 //Question: Find all the odd numbers betveen 0-100
 200 /Question: Can you tell me about your professional history?
 //candidate: I try my absolute best to make ธure that my code does not have too many errors before I take it
 29
 30
 the odd numbers between 0 and
 205 /Question: Count down from 700 to 200 in decrements of
 coreot'hinunitt?
 completely
 the odd numbers between 0-100
 211 I/Me: And if I fixed the syntax errors, will it work then?
 213
 214
 //Me: And why is that2
 //Candidate: It has logic errors, too
 you like
 //Candidate: I have been programming for 10 years. 5 years as a hobby, and 5 professionally. know PHP, Ruby
 JS (including both node, angular), MongoDB, Myso, PostgresoL, and more
 /Me: Nice. What have
 //candidate: In the 5 years where I worked professionally, I have worked in 4 companies as a webdex. I have
 multiples sites up, all done from scratch. Some I developed solo, and sone as part of a team. I do both
 front-end and back-end development. I am ready to tackle any challenge!
 /Me: ok. using your language of choice, can you find all the odd numbers between 0-1002
 7 //Question: Find all the odd numbers betwveen
 0-100
 you used your skills for?
 50 I/I asked the candidate what this code was supposed to do, and the candidate replied: "I do not want to ansver
 1 //So I tried again. Same candidate, next question: Find the sun of all integers betveen 0-100
 3 //Me:"Ok and if I wanted this done in Javascript?
 more than this."
 222 //Candidate: tries for about 3 minutes
 223 I/Candidate: I cannot do this. My skill in mathematics is not high enough
 6 I/This was the most experienced candidate, with 19 years of professional experience. Nineteen, no typo. This
 226
 candidate was programming professionally before many of you were born.
 /This situation happened with two different candidates. Their responses were worded differently, but the
 was the same
 //Me: Ok, I want to ask you a couple of programming questions. Do you have a paper and pen or pencil with you?
 0 //Question: Assuming you have two integers, x and y, with y bigger than x. Sum all the numbers from x to y
 230 //Me: ok.Using your preferred programming language, find all the odd nunbers between 0 and 1002
 Example: If x is 1, and y is 5, then sum 1+2+3+4+5
 232 /Me: Yes. Write your code down, and when you are done, read it to me, and then ve can go through it
 233 //Candidate: But that is impossible! How can I write code without using a computer?
 4+i
 237
 //Question: Find all the odd numbers betveen 0-100. Note that this was a phone interview
 67
 //What is happening here? Your guess is as good as mine. Candidate had no idea what this code was supposed to do
 239 IMe: I am trying to test your programming skills, not your Google-search skills
 240 //Candidate: Baha, right! But İf 1 use Google, how will you know?
 241 /Me: I wil1 ask you similar questions in the face-to-face interview
 1 //Question: Count down from 700 to 200 in decrements of 13
 246
 //One of the worst interviews that I had, that made me feel genuinely bad, was this one.I tried to capture the
 mood of how it went, as I did not get to see any code Some of the actions I describe are what I assume
 happened on the other end of the phone, based on the sounds that I heard
 //Me: Greetings! Thanks for letting me interview you. Are you ready and prepared?
 247
 249
 //Me: Alright! Let us start. *İntroductions and a bit of relaxing amantalk, candidate is very cool. Qk, so
 your resume lists about 5 different programming languages.Are you good in all of them
 /candidate: I am good in Javaacript and PHP, and ak in Java
 81 //Out of curiosity, I asked: "Why is the answer a double?"
 82 //Candidate "Because it needs to store the value taken from _two variables.
 so which is your f
 252 //Candidate: Definitely avascript! I did a lot of work in Javascript!
 253 /Me: That is good. Can I ask you a question or two in Tavascript
 6 //Make a standard deck of cards. Shuftle the deck, and draw two cards at random. Display the two cards
 Are you
 256 //candidate: Yes, yes. I am on the line!
 ask you a questi
 can try my best to ansver
 gentle gloves, ve are not trying to break the candidate
 Qk. so you know what odd
 are, right?
 for (let count
 Yes Yes,I know odd number
 261 /Me: ok. so ny question is this. Using your favourite language, Javascript, can you find all the odd numbers
 8 //This was slowly and painstak
 used for the second part which only had two cards, while no loop was used for the
 cards... but I decided against
 the odd numbers
 ok. Why don't you t
 then read
 fter
 you are
 //Candidate 'excited and breathless: YES! Yes,yes!
 scribbling/scratching for about two minutes, then some furious scribbling for a minute, then the
 fast breathing, but no seribbling sounds
 1 1/9uestion: Find all the odd numbers betuween
 03
 05
 assuming
 x
 and
 lieve the candidate put the phone down, and started writing. I could hear some gentl
 y,
 someone crossing out
 many lines
 on a paper. Then came a minute
 /Candidate "voice completely broken
 //Me "making a fatal error of judgement by asking: Is everything ak
 the odd numbers...uhh
 think..L
 the odd... the odd nunbers
 alm, polite email, much later that
 this time I regret that I must decline the
 perplexing, let me
 Candidate takes the last
 once to make
 not, then you add
 you add
 odd, then you add 2
 Disregarding the sundry minor errors in the code, the logic behind
 functional, but
 ribly inefficient
 two cards at random. Display the two cards
 27 var arr-i,2,3, 4,5, 6,7,,9,10,.0K'
 ar arrl
 ar two-
 36
 t (pos
 arr pos
 50
 51
 52
 ition] push (arrti
 for (wamath
 finalArr
 var indexeeArr.indexof (nevArrti] val
 72 //Behold this masterpiece! Read it slow and savour every 1ine, for beauties like this come once
 fetine
SWE interview in Saudi Arabia

SWE interview in Saudi Arabia

Adam Sandler, Alive, and Animals: Johnny Boy 'limbo', Marston Arthur More Organ Holland Hoseas Before Broseas swagalicious crunchy outside, self-deprecating chewy center - "how many licks does it take the squad's favorite disaster scrappy damsel squares up at a moment's notice can never seem to get their shit together to get to the center of my depression" goth jock dropout just wants to settle down - - dumbest smart person alive - denies being moe - "wanna know how I got these scars- wait where are you going" - makes 50+ post twitter threads nobody reads just needs a break - "Actually, correlation is not causation" - thinks they're charming, is actually charming - constantly forgets their age - "back in my day - only one who knows what the fuck they're talking about incredible artist, thinks their stuff is 'okay' still needs to shut the fuck up - one shot, one kill - "once I go viral it's over for you hoes" - has a 'Home Is Where The Heart Is' welcome mat-liked by practically everybody - productive procrastinator can never hold down a relationship - Instant Uncle, Just Add Baby suffers from chronic pushover syndrome "no questions, dammit, no questions" - jokes hit too close to home - Good bad influence - weed friend Make It Work Guy Fieri Will Billiamson Bad Santa -always knows what to play at a party - adopts everyone on sight - great with kids, great with animals, wants to hold your baby - scientific evidence good girls want bad boys - tsundere - burns salads - "have you eaten today" - owns etsy account, too busy to make anything - punches self for fun - professional alcoholic - always needs to borrow money - terrible drunk, never remembers what happened that night walks around the house in their underwear gives great hugs needs seven showers group's unexpected therapist patronus is secondhand embarrassment just wants to be part of the family "MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S!"* is the party cultured, well-traveled and stylish; made for Instagram - *gestures to all of you* "we need to do something about this" - always starts drama, yet always seems to avoid it bad taste in literally everything, banned from recommending outings - will always have squad's back iron constitution, never gets sick - "say that to my fucking face" - may seem Mad, is actually Sad petty *pulls up in drive-thru, orders single starts the day with horoscope readings - Chaotic Loyal black coffee, leaves t" FUCKS.EXE STOPPED WORKING 'mSorry Ms. Jackson tOh) Bastard Millennial Green Hat McGuy "join team chat" - fashionable at all times, even when going to the grocery store can't do crime if you ain't cute -only dates fictional men won't leave the house for days need lives on cow tales and TVTropes says they can hold their liquor regularly tells squad to hydrate can't actually hold their liquor too nice for own good living boke and tsukkomi routine to shut up yesterday social interaction, naps for ten years it's basic hygiene and laying beneath the stars -"please stop talking" exhausted after two minutes of maybe they're born with it, maybe soft spot for animals, slow dancing cooler than you . living proof the scariest people frat brotryhard nerd gem fusion come in the nicest packages graceful loser, even more graceful winner - "what day is it again" nobody sees clapbacks coming until it's never learned how to drive every day is roast session day - "I'll roast you, I'll roast them, I'll roast me fuckin' self" - Has never completed No Nut November sings in the shower - adores Linkin Park late - "are you ready yet" "almost" - allergic to idiots Adam Sandler Regina O'George Let Me Speak To Your Manager - retired mom friend, back from retirement ages every time someone references a vine instead of responding normally - smokes sixty packs a day Goof Troop social norms are for dweebs just wants to play videogames - No Drama? No ProblemTM -"Local Mean Girl Refuses To Be Toppled From Throne" - loses shit over small things -THIS close to cutting someone and snack in peace shoves people in lockers to show affection forgets not to swear in front of other never forgets a birthday shaped like a friend only one in squad who can cook only one in squad who can drive people's children the queen of throwing down "fuck, sorry about that" given up on romance savwy businessowner resident gossip big problems are Whatever - needs therapy - Favorite Songs Are 'Find Me Somebody- smells amazing To Love' And 'Before He Cheats' common sense frequently left on read - hasn't seen most popular movies - a matryoshka of pain - wishes you didn't look like a dump truck knows Wicked by heart - only one in squad who does taxes Songs Are unforgiveable weeb - villain origin story is that stubborn chin hair that keeps growing back - always says 'gg' after every game incredible skin care regimen - "just drink more water" award winning sailor mouth - Big Hair, Don't Care "What's My Age Again" by Blink 182 World's Saddest Violin Bullshit Magician Expletive Noises Looks like a million dollars, is probably worth a million dollars - family person, loves everybody keeps Twitter on private - meows back at their cat - extroverted introvert -feels guilty for not logging into Animal Crossing for nine months thinks existence is kind of funny invented the word 'dapper - the living embodiment of when you try your best but you don't succeed' - just wants to be loved and cherished -great with animals, never scratched the life of the party, when they're not launching into drunken diatribes -smartest smart person alive -stays up until three in the morning thinking about the meaning of life - an essential addition to any squad - reads at 10,000 miles per hour wants to stab Banksy hates stan culture hoards comfort food beneath their desk gets sentimental over their Neopets used to hoard Beanie Babies - hates answering the phone - silently lurks in Twitch chatrooms - needs more friends - stylish drunk with two hollow legs - never fails to speak their mind great at impressions -not-so-secretly depressed - regularly confuses main for private "just forget I said that haha" preserves their right hook for justice - stared into the void, got bored quotes movies when provoked - "That's just, like, your opinion, man." the most perfect teeth Baby Boy...Baby Talk Shit, Get Hit Mr. Krabs A Dog - soft outside, softer inside - never ashamed to cry - weak spot for pups, needs to pet every dog they see -only one of the squad that's been punched squad's resident cheapskate needs to seriously reconsider things trolling game out of control A dog - never seems to accumulate debt, also never tips the waiter took college prep in high school - can't fight to save their life - surprisingly terrifying comebacks - multilingual gg ez clap" oves Bon Iver, Death Grips and Beyonce equally - Kappa Kappa KappaRoss CoolStoryBob workplace's local kissass likes to give gifts to sad friends living embodiment of a flower crown talks during movies home life is a mess - needs a vacation, too self-conscious - doesn't flush toilets in public bathrooms to take one - adopted by everybody - "Oh, I won't report you...yet" believes they were born in the wrong era - has never yelled once - in love with the smell of old books - wishes on stars when no one's looking leaves breadcrumbs in butter a well-rounded tool - nobody knows why they keep getting invited"Poverty is a state of mind." champagnesuperhoeva: red dead redemption 2 tag yourself masterpost now all in one spot for your convenient bullshit needs tag your chronic pain, tag your panic attacks, tag your existential crisis  I am all of these yet none of them at the same time
Adam Sandler, Alive, and Animals: Johnny Boy 'limbo', Marston
 Arthur More Organ
 Holland
 Hoseas Before Broseas
 swagalicious crunchy outside,
 self-deprecating chewy center
 - "how many licks does it take
 the squad's favorite disaster
 scrappy damsel
 squares up at a moment's notice
 can never seem to get their shit together to get to the center of my depression"
 goth jock dropout just wants to settle down -
 - dumbest smart person alive
 - denies being moe
 - "wanna know how I got these scars-
 wait where are you going"
 - makes 50+ post twitter threads nobody reads just needs a break
 - "Actually, correlation is not causation"
 - thinks they're charming, is actually charming
 - constantly forgets their age
 - "back in my day
 - only one who knows what
 the fuck they're talking about
 incredible artist, thinks their stuff is 'okay' still needs to shut the fuck up
 - one shot, one kill
 - "once I go viral it's over for you hoes"
 - has a 'Home Is Where The Heart Is' welcome mat-liked by practically everybody
 - productive procrastinator
 can never hold down a relationship
 - Instant Uncle, Just Add Baby
 suffers from chronic pushover syndrome "no questions, dammit, no questions"
 - jokes hit too close to home
 - Good bad influence
 - weed friend
 Make It Work
 Guy Fieri
 Will Billiamson
 Bad Santa
 -always knows what to play at a party
 - adopts everyone on sight
 - great with kids, great with animals,
 wants to hold your baby
 - scientific evidence good girls
 want bad boys
 - tsundere
 - burns salads
 - "have you eaten today"
 - owns etsy account, too busy to make anything - punches self for fun
 - professional alcoholic
 - always needs to borrow money
 - terrible drunk, never remembers
 what happened that night
 walks around the house in their underwear
 gives great hugs
 needs seven showers
 group's unexpected therapist
 patronus is secondhand embarrassment
 just wants to be part of the family
 "MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S!"*
 is the party
 cultured, well-traveled and stylish;
 made for Instagram
 - *gestures to all of you* "we need
 to do something about this"
 - always starts drama, yet always
 seems to avoid it
 bad taste in literally everything,
 banned from recommending outings
 - will always have squad's back
 iron constitution, never gets sick
 - "say that to my fucking face"
 - may seem Mad, is actually Sad
 petty
 *pulls up in drive-thru, orders single
 starts the day with horoscope readings
 - Chaotic Loyal
 black coffee, leaves

 t"
 FUCKS.EXE STOPPED WORKING 'mSorry Ms. Jackson tOh)
 Bastard Millennial
 Green Hat McGuy
 "join team chat"
 - fashionable at all times, even when
 going to the grocery store
 can't do crime if you ain't cute
 -only dates fictional men
 won't leave the house for days need
 lives on cow tales and TVTropes says they can hold their liquor
 regularly tells squad to hydrate can't actually hold their liquor
 too nice for own good
 living boke and tsukkomi routine
 to shut up yesterday
 social interaction, naps for ten years
 it's basic hygiene
 and laying beneath the stars
 -"please stop talking"
 exhausted after two minutes of
 maybe they're born with it, maybe
 soft spot for animals, slow dancing
 cooler than you
 . living proof the scariest people
 frat brotryhard nerd gem fusion
 come in the nicest packages
 graceful loser, even more graceful winner - "what day is it again"
 nobody sees clapbacks coming until it's never learned how to drive
 every day is roast session day
 - "I'll roast you, I'll roast them,
 I'll roast me fuckin' self"
 - Has never completed No Nut November
 sings in the shower
 - adores Linkin Park
 late
 - "are you ready yet" "almost"
 - allergic to idiots
 Adam Sandler
 Regina O'George
 Let Me Speak To Your Manager
 - retired mom friend, back from retirement
 ages every time someone references
 a vine instead of responding normally
 - smokes sixty packs a day
 Goof Troop
 social norms are for dweebs
 just wants to play videogames
 - No Drama? No ProblemTM
 -"Local Mean Girl Refuses To
 Be Toppled From Throne"
 - loses shit over small things
 -THIS close to cutting someone
 and snack in peace
 shoves people in lockers to show affection
 forgets not to swear in front of other
 never forgets a birthday
 shaped like a friend
 only one in squad who can cook
 only one in squad who can drive
 people's children
 the queen of throwing down
 "fuck, sorry about that"
 given up on romance
 savwy businessowner
 resident gossip
 big problems are Whatever
 - needs therapy
 - Favorite Songs Are 'Find Me Somebody- smells amazing
 To Love' And 'Before He Cheats'
 common sense frequently left on read - hasn't seen most popular movies
 - a matryoshka of pain
 - wishes you didn't look like a dump truck
 knows Wicked by heart
 - only one in squad who does taxes
 Songs Are
 unforgiveable weeb
 - villain origin story is that stubborn
 chin hair that keeps growing back
 - always says 'gg' after every game
 incredible skin care regimen
 - "just drink more water"
 award winning sailor mouth
 - Big Hair, Don't Care

 "What's My Age Again" by Blink 182
 World's Saddest Violin
 Bullshit Magician
 Expletive Noises
 Looks like a million dollars, is probably
 worth a million dollars
 - family person, loves everybody
 keeps Twitter on private
 - meows back at their cat
 - extroverted introvert
 -feels guilty for not logging into
 Animal Crossing for nine months
 thinks existence is kind of funny
 invented the word 'dapper
 - the living embodiment of when
 you try your best but you don't succeed'
 - just wants to be loved and cherished
 -great with animals, never scratched
 the life of the party, when they're
 not launching into drunken diatribes
 -smartest smart person alive
 -stays up until three in the morning
 thinking about the meaning of life
 - an essential addition to any squad
 - reads at 10,000 miles per hour
 wants to stab Banksy
 hates stan culture
 hoards comfort food beneath their desk
 gets sentimental over their Neopets
 used to hoard Beanie Babies
 - hates answering the phone
 - silently lurks in Twitch chatrooms
 - needs more friends
 - stylish drunk with two hollow legs
 - never fails to speak their mind
 great at impressions
 -not-so-secretly depressed
 - regularly confuses main for private
 "just forget I said that haha"
 preserves their right hook for justice
 - stared into the void, got bored
 quotes movies when provoked
 - "That's just, like, your opinion, man."
 the most perfect teeth
 Baby Boy...Baby
 Talk Shit, Get Hit
 Mr. Krabs
 A Dog
 - soft outside, softer inside
 - never ashamed to cry
 - weak spot for pups, needs
 to pet every dog they see
 -only one of the squad that's been punched squad's resident cheapskate
 needs to seriously reconsider things
 trolling game out of control
 A dog
 - never seems to accumulate debt,
 also never tips the waiter
 took college prep in high school
 - can't fight to save their life
 - surprisingly terrifying comebacks
 - multilingual
 gg ez clap"
 oves Bon Iver, Death Grips
 and Beyonce equally
 - Kappa Kappa KappaRoss CoolStoryBob
 workplace's local kissass
 likes to give gifts to sad friends
 living embodiment of a flower crown talks during movies
 home life is a mess
 - needs a vacation, too self-conscious - doesn't flush toilets in public bathrooms
 to take one
 - adopted by everybody
 - "Oh, I won't report you...yet"
 believes they were born in the wrong era
 - has never yelled once
 - in love with the smell of old books
 - wishes on stars when no one's looking
 leaves breadcrumbs in butter
 a well-rounded tool
 - nobody knows why they keep getting invited"Poverty is a state of mind."
champagnesuperhoeva:
red dead redemption 2 tag yourself masterpost now all in one spot for your convenient bullshit needs
tag your chronic pain, tag your panic attacks, tag your existential crisis 


I am all of these yet none of them at the same time

champagnesuperhoeva: red dead redemption 2 tag yourself masterpost now all in one spot for your convenient bullshit needs tag your chronic p...