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Children, Climbing, and Fucking: elidyce: luckyladylily: ohnoagremlin: itsvondell: off-in-lala-land: You know, if I was a parent, it would be at this point that I’d rip the game from his hands, stash it in my backpack, and force him to enjoy history goddamnit. This vacation cost a lot and the game is only for the hotel and travel time. imagine trying to force someone to think that stonehenge is fun take your kids places they actually want to go instead of getting mad when they quietly self-entertain, he’s not hurting nobody. me & my shitbag siblings would be climbing that fucking thing, gameboy kid is doing alright Some small child: does not yet have the mental development or contextual understanding to appreciate why these particular rocks are extra interesting. Some adult: God I hate that children don’t think like adults! I would force them to pretend they do because I interpret child thought patterns as a personal insult! Child: *looks at rocks for approx. 30 seconds, listens to vaguely interesting story about them for another minute or so, glances at the rocks again, is Now Done. Parent: I understand that your attention span has done all it can with the stimulation provided. Here is your gameboy to keep you entertained while the adults talk about things you don’t find interesting, like the history of very large rocks. Child: *quietly squats down and plays with the gameboy, allowing adults to enjoy their rocks* Parent: I am very glad that I understand to some extent how children’s minds work, or this holiday would be a miserable experience for both of us. How fortunate that I planned ahead to allow my child periods of rest and quiet entertainment during excursions that are primarily for my benefit and enjoyment.
Children, Climbing, and Fucking: elidyce:

luckyladylily:

ohnoagremlin:

itsvondell:

off-in-lala-land:

You know, if I was a parent, it would be at this point that I’d rip the game from his hands, stash it in my backpack, and force him to enjoy history goddamnit. This vacation cost a lot and the game is only for the hotel and travel time.

imagine trying to force someone to think that stonehenge is fun


take your kids places they actually want to go instead of getting mad when they quietly self-entertain, he’s not hurting nobody. me & my shitbag siblings would be climbing that fucking thing, gameboy kid is doing alright 


Some small child: does not yet have the mental development or contextual understanding to appreciate why these particular rocks are extra interesting.
Some adult: God I hate that children don’t think like adults! I would force them to pretend they do because I interpret child thought patterns as a personal insult!

Child: *looks at rocks for approx. 30 seconds, listens to vaguely interesting story about them for another minute or so, glances at the rocks again, is Now Done.
Parent: I understand that your attention span has done all it can with the stimulation provided. Here is your gameboy to keep you entertained while the adults talk about things you don’t find interesting, like the history of very large rocks.
Child: *quietly squats down and plays with the gameboy, allowing adults to enjoy their rocks*
Parent: I am very glad that I understand to some extent how children’s minds work, or this holiday would be a miserable experience for both of us. How fortunate that I planned ahead to allow my child periods of rest and quiet entertainment during excursions that are primarily for my benefit and enjoyment.

elidyce: luckyladylily: ohnoagremlin: itsvondell: off-in-lala-land: You know, if I was a parent, it would be at this point that I’d rip...

Birthday, Douchebag, and Dude: dex ORIGINAL NOV Windex the Bean 15 726. 2113 Paint the Bean black so they can't Windex it NOV 13 726. 2113 Paint Thinner Pour Paint Thinner On The Bean After They Paint It Black So We Can Windex NOV 13 debthestoner: rrdcooc: addakax: mysticalalleycat: politicalcdnmama: theresagooseinthemainframe: 0-memento-mori-0: justaplate: claydart: starlitskyes: frosttrix: extremedistressorstellarblowjob: queen-of-heck: brightoncemore: todayiwrotenothing: gay-jesus-probably: solongstarbird: akamine-chan: phantomofthebookstore: dragonastra: jasperzilla: moose-shampoo: if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it.  You missed some of the best ones the best part about it is that the art installation isn’t actually called the Bean. It’s called Cloud Gate, and artist Anish Kapoor (yes, THAT Anish Kapoor) hates that we call it the Bean. But i mean, look at it. It’s a bean. How could you forget this one though I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THE BEAN WAS CREATED BY ANISH KAPOOR. someone help me why is anish kapoor important what did he do? Alright sit down for some Art World Drama bcause this is what I live for. So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, it’s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and he’s kind of a prick about it. Art world is not thrilled with that. Enter Stuart Semple. Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoor’s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because it’s awesome, and damn it we deserve something. Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything. Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned with “Up yours. #pink” Everyone flips shit, because. Y’know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. He’s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments. Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after it’s applied, but glitters like a mofo. It’s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isn’t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, it’s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Semple’s way of saying “shove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happens”. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy. He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide. Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. It’s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, can’t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if you’re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0. So I think we can guess who got the better deal. And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated. …But not quite. Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer. No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi. The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesn’t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more. Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own. So that’s been the art world for the last two years. Basically, get fucked Anish Kapoor your bean sucks and so does your vantablack. Stuart Semple is organising a bean-kissing event for Anish Kapoor’s birthday. Reblogging for “By attending this event you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not attending on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information, and belief this event will not be attended by Anish Kapoor.” ALSO HE JUST POSTED THIS!!!!!! LIGHTEST LIGHT! I know this isn’t my art blog but this entire post gives me life im sorry is that man holding a real actual miniature star in his hands Y’all missed the best part about the lightest light, called aptly ‘Lit’. This is from their product page: Two things: 1. “Anish Kapoor is however a penis” is the best line in this post. 2. I wish to be half as petty and half as awesome as Stuart Semple I hope Stuart Semple is making a lot of money. What a good person. Go support him the paint’s are pretty cheap and you get the added bonus of being one of many to help piss off Anish Kapoor He is my fucking role model for pettiness oh my god It got better! I’m also excited because he just released biodegradable glitter in non plastic containers! How amazing is that?! Stuart Semple, good guy for the planet and artists, fighter against the rich elite artist like asshole Kapoor. An older project, but he also did this: (x) oh dude hes metal as fuck  Every addition to this post is better than the last. Me, being gay and having my blood drawn: so…what do you need my blood for again? Stuart Semple: gonna make an anti-government t-shirt with it. Me: Me: :)
Birthday, Douchebag, and Dude: dex
 ORIGINAL
 NOV
 Windex the Bean
 15

 726.
 2113
 Paint the Bean black so they can't Windex it
 NOV
 13

 726.
 2113
 Paint
 Thinner
 Pour Paint Thinner On The Bean After They
 Paint It Black So We Can Windex
 NOV
 13
debthestoner:

rrdcooc:

addakax:

mysticalalleycat:

politicalcdnmama:

theresagooseinthemainframe:

0-memento-mori-0:

justaplate:

claydart:

starlitskyes:

frosttrix:

extremedistressorstellarblowjob:

queen-of-heck:


brightoncemore:

todayiwrotenothing:

gay-jesus-probably:

solongstarbird:

akamine-chan:

phantomofthebookstore:

dragonastra:

jasperzilla:

moose-shampoo:
if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it. 

You missed some of the best ones 

the best part about it is that the art installation isn’t actually called the Bean. It’s called Cloud Gate, and artist Anish Kapoor (yes, THAT Anish Kapoor) hates that we call it the Bean.
But i mean, look at it. It’s a bean.


How could you forget this one though


I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THE BEAN WAS CREATED BY ANISH KAPOOR.

someone help me why is anish kapoor important what did he do?

Alright sit down for some Art World Drama bcause this is what I live for.
So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, it’s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and he’s kind of a prick about it.
Art world is not thrilled with that.
Enter Stuart Semple.
Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoor’s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because it’s awesome, and damn it we deserve something.
Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything.
Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned with “Up yours. #pink”
Everyone flips shit, because. Y’know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. He’s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments.
Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after it’s applied, but glitters like a mofo. It’s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isn’t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, it’s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Semple’s way of saying “shove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happens”. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy.
He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide.
Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. It’s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, can’t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if you’re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0.
So I think we can guess who got the better deal.
And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated.
…But not quite.
Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer.
No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi.
The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesn’t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more.
Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own.
So that’s been the art world for the last two years.
Basically, get fucked Anish Kapoor your bean sucks and so does your vantablack.

Stuart Semple is organising a bean-kissing event for Anish Kapoor’s birthday.


Reblogging for “By attending this event you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not attending on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information, and belief this event will not be attended by Anish Kapoor.”


ALSO HE JUST POSTED THIS!!!!!! LIGHTEST LIGHT!


I know this isn’t my art blog but this entire post gives me life 

im sorry is that man holding a real actual miniature star in his hands

Y’all missed the best part about the lightest light, called aptly ‘Lit’. This is from their product page:

Two things:
1. “Anish Kapoor is however a penis” is the best line in this post.
2. I wish to be half as petty and half as awesome as Stuart Semple


I hope Stuart Semple is making a lot of money. What a good person.

Go support him the paint’s are pretty cheap and you get the added bonus of being one of many to help piss off Anish Kapoor


He is my fucking role model for pettiness oh my god 


It got better! I’m also excited because he just released biodegradable glitter in non plastic containers! How amazing is that?! Stuart Semple, good guy for the planet and artists, fighter against the rich elite artist like asshole Kapoor.


An older project, but he also did this:
(x)

oh dude hes metal as fuck 

Every addition to this post is better than the last.


Me, being gay and having my blood drawn: so…what do you need my blood for again?
Stuart Semple: gonna make an anti-government t-shirt with it.
Me:
Me: :)

debthestoner: rrdcooc: addakax: mysticalalleycat: politicalcdnmama: theresagooseinthemainframe: 0-memento-mori-0: justaplate: clayda...

Bad, Head, and Iron Man: saltyaboutfictionalcharacters: sam-falcon-wilson: cyclesofthemoon: professionallyprocrastinating: antisolanum: teameveryonebutironman: i-love-tony-stark: sam-falcon-wilson: I need to talk about this scene. This scene actually, physically hurt me when I watched it in theaters, and cemented Iron Man as a bad guy in my head. Sam Wilson saw his friend get shot out of the air. He was too late to save him; he watched his wingman die, and he was powerless to do anything. So imagine how he feels when the shot that was meant to hit him hits Rhodey, who begins to plummet towards the ground. He immediately dives after him with zero hesitation, but he’s just not fast enough. He even apologizes to Tony, although he has nothing to apologize for. And do you know what Tony does? He shoots him. Point blank. I don’t care if Tony didn’t know about Riley. It doesn’t matter. Sam Wilson just risked his life going after Rhodey, probably having flashbacks the entire way down, and he fails. Again. And Tony doesn’t care. He shoots him, and he’s so close that the force of the shot sends Sam somersaulting backwards. Sam did nothing to injure Rhodey in any way, and even tries to help, and Tony. Fricking. S h o o t s. H i m. How can you support or stan this disgusting man? Also, if I recall correctly, Sam Wilson served as a pararescue airman. That means he’s a trained medic, he could have helped Rhodey and probably would have if Tony hadn’t shot him point blank in the chest. Yeah, either tony is that much of an asshole that he didn’t bother to get to know Sam despite him being part of the team for two years or he’s that much of an asshole that he shot a trained medic in the chest. And let’s not forget that using a repulsor blast that powerful, powerful enough to throw him back like he was shot with a shotgun, at relatively close range, on a target with no power armor (and no the falcon suit doesn’t count, it’s for flight not protection) could easily have killed him. Shock, cracking his head on the ground, stopping his heart from the force, that could have killed him. I mean, sam’s a tough cookie, but that wasn’t “the hulk punching thor after the battle because he didn’t forget about his insult from earlier, but they both know he’s gonna be alright” it’s “Tony is so selfish that he is willing to potentially kill sam because he hurt rhodey” Despite all of this, Sam’s first words to Tony, after being imprisoned thanks to him, is “How is Rhodes?” Concern for a former team-mate is still foremost in his mind, despite the fact that going back to help, rather than following Steve and Bucky to help them in Siberia, is what landed Sam in the Raft. Then Sam turns around, and we see that half of his face is one massive bruise, and he is moving slowly. Yeah, no, that is never going to be justifiable. … Also, what is to say that Rhodey’s injuries weren’t made worse by Tony’s attempts to help, since the guy with medical training was injured and potentially unconscious thanks to Iron Man ‘getting angry and reacting’. Sam Wilson wasn’t offering to help. Sam Wilson was standing there, looking at him, and the guy with PTSD and trust issues properly assumed that the fucker would take another shot. Like, you’re expecting him to think clearly? Why would he react any other way? Yeah, I expect him to think clearly. He’s an adult. Cut it out with the PTSD defense; just because someone has a mental illness like that doesn’t excuse their actions. Sam also has PTSD. He was probably having a vivid flashback to the time his friend died in front of him in much the same way. So, excuse him for sitting there, reliving all his past mistakes, beating himself up because maybe if he has been faster, or if he had done this or that, Rhodey wouldn’t be paralyzed. Get the hell off my post with your gross Tonky defense and cry to someone who cares, because I don’t. plus, sam did nothing to rhodey. all he did was dodge a shot from vision that would have killed him if it connected. he has no protection in his flight gear so if he fell from the height that rhodey did he would have died. Tony shot him for not allowing himself to be killed, even when he was apologizing and could have helped rhodey. tony stark is trash.
Bad, Head, and Iron Man: saltyaboutfictionalcharacters:

sam-falcon-wilson:

cyclesofthemoon:


professionallyprocrastinating:

antisolanum:

teameveryonebutironman:

i-love-tony-stark:


sam-falcon-wilson:


I need to talk about this scene. This scene actually, physically hurt me when I watched it in theaters, and cemented Iron Man as a bad guy in my head.

Sam Wilson saw his friend get shot out of the air. He was too late to save him; he watched his wingman die, and he was powerless to do anything.

So imagine how he feels when the shot that was meant to hit him hits Rhodey, who begins to plummet towards the ground. He immediately dives after him with zero hesitation, but he’s just not fast enough. He even apologizes to Tony, although he has nothing to apologize for.

And do you know what Tony does?

He shoots him. Point blank.

I don’t care if Tony didn’t know about Riley. It doesn’t matter. Sam Wilson just risked his life going after Rhodey, probably having flashbacks the entire way down, and he fails. Again.

And Tony doesn’t care. He shoots him, and he’s so close that the force of the shot sends Sam somersaulting backwards.

Sam did nothing to injure Rhodey in any way, and even tries to help, and Tony. Fricking. S h o o t s. H i m.

How can you support or stan this disgusting man?


Also, if I recall correctly, Sam Wilson served as a pararescue airman. That means he’s a trained medic, he could have helped Rhodey and probably would have if Tony hadn’t shot him point blank in the chest.


Yeah, either tony is that much of an asshole that he didn’t bother to get to know Sam despite him being part of the team for two years or he’s that much of an asshole that he shot a trained medic in the chest. 


And let’s not forget that using a repulsor blast that powerful, powerful enough to throw him back like he was shot with a shotgun, at relatively close range, on a target with no power armor (and no the falcon suit doesn’t count, it’s for flight not protection) could easily have killed him. Shock, cracking his head on the ground, stopping his heart from the force, that could have killed him. I mean, sam’s a tough cookie, but that wasn’t “the hulk punching thor after the battle because he didn’t forget about his insult from earlier, but they both know he’s gonna be alright” it’s “Tony is so selfish that he is willing to potentially kill sam because he hurt rhodey”

Despite all of this, Sam’s first words to Tony, after being imprisoned thanks to him, is “How is Rhodes?”
Concern for a former team-mate is still foremost in his mind, despite the fact that going back to help, rather than following Steve and Bucky to help them in Siberia, is what landed Sam in the Raft.
Then Sam turns around, and we see that half of his face is one massive bruise, and he is moving slowly.
Yeah, no, that is never going to be justifiable.
…
Also, what is to say that Rhodey’s injuries weren’t made worse by Tony’s attempts to help, since the guy with medical training was injured and potentially unconscious thanks to Iron Man ‘getting angry and reacting’.


Sam Wilson wasn’t offering to help. Sam Wilson was standing there, looking at him, and the guy with PTSD and trust issues properly assumed that the fucker would take another shot. 

Like, you’re expecting him to think clearly? Why would he react any other way? 


Yeah, I expect him to think clearly. He’s an adult. Cut it out with the PTSD defense; just because someone has a mental illness like that doesn’t excuse their actions.
Sam also has PTSD. He was probably having a vivid flashback to the time his friend died in front of him in much the same way. So, excuse him for sitting there, reliving all his past mistakes, beating himself up because maybe if he has been faster, or if he had done this or that, Rhodey wouldn’t be paralyzed.
Get the hell off my post with your gross Tonky defense and cry to someone who cares, because I don’t. 

plus, sam did nothing to rhodey. all he did was dodge a shot from vision that would have killed him if it connected. he has no protection in his flight gear so if he fell from the height that rhodey did he would have died. Tony shot him for not allowing himself to be killed, even when he was apologizing and could have helped rhodey. tony stark is trash.

saltyaboutfictionalcharacters: sam-falcon-wilson: cyclesofthemoon: professionallyprocrastinating: antisolanum: teameveryonebutironman:...

Butt, Chill, and Choose One: Ride Menu Choose one or more types of rides you would like today (You must be 18 years of age or older and over 4'2" tall.) The Stand-Up Ride lohn: The Lyft Driver I tell you about things I learned in prison and poor life choices I have made. Don't put a tattoo of your girlfriend on your butt. It rarely works out well. The Creepy Ride I don't say anything. I just leer at you periodically in the review mirror and lick my lips in an unpleasant, malicious or lascivious manner. The Therapy Ride Tell me about all your problems and I will pretend to care The Sympathy Ride I tell you about my problems and you pretend to care The Silent Ride The Sado-Masochistic Ride l insult you and your relatives (particularly your mother) and be as rude as I possibly can to you the whole trip. WARNING: This ride hegins by me throwing yo out of the car and making you run to catch up. The Chill Out Ride out on beautifu, qwiet classical music and you arrive at your destunation relaxed, refreshed and less likely to complain about the TSA strip search. The Gluttony Ride I recommend the best restaurants in town and warn you to stay away from the other oves ayped ones. (I will join you upon request.) The Jeopardy Ride I tell you fun facts and trivia about Nashville which will help you win game shows and amaze your friends. Hint: Ask me about "hookers Interesting Lyft ride The sadomasochistic ride is tempting (xpost from r/mildlyinteresting)
Butt, Chill, and Choose One: Ride Menu
 Choose one or more types of rides you would like today
 (You must be 18 years of age or older and over 4'2" tall.)
 The Stand-Up Ride
 lohn: The Lyft Driver
 I tell you about things I learned in prison and poor life choices I have made.
 Don't put a tattoo of your girlfriend on your butt. It rarely works out well.
 The Creepy Ride
 I don't say anything. I just leer at you periodically in the review mirror and
 lick my lips in an unpleasant, malicious or lascivious manner.
 The Therapy Ride
 Tell me about all your problems and I will pretend to care
 The Sympathy Ride
 I tell you about my problems and you pretend to care
 The Silent Ride
 The Sado-Masochistic Ride
 l insult you and your relatives (particularly your mother) and be as rude as I
 possibly can to you the whole trip. WARNING: This ride hegins by me
 throwing yo out of the car and making you run to catch up.
 The Chill Out Ride
 out on beautifu, qwiet classical music and you arrive at your destunation
 relaxed, refreshed and less likely to complain about the TSA strip search.
 The Gluttony Ride
 I recommend the best restaurants in town and warn you to stay away from
 the other oves ayped ones. (I will join you upon request.)
 The Jeopardy Ride
 I tell you fun facts and trivia about Nashville which will help you win game
 shows and amaze your friends. Hint: Ask me about "hookers
 Interesting Lyft ride
The sadomasochistic ride is tempting (xpost from r/mildlyinteresting)

The sadomasochistic ride is tempting (xpost from r/mildlyinteresting)