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Cars, Fucking, and Run: SheStayFabulous @Shestayfabulous Man old cars really were made to last 1/5 Ayton SZN @ReeceDontTweet ) his car ain't break a sweat becausedragonage: freshest-tittymilk: princealigorna: And this is why we used to make cars out of STEEL instead of FIBERGLASS! Sure, fiberglass is a lot lighter in weight and hence a hell of a lot better for gas mileage. But you hit anything at more than 20 mph and the entire body explodes off the fucking thing, and now you’re spending more to repair the car than it’s worth because you need a entire front end, read end, or side panel. They can’t just take the damaged section off, beat it out with a hammer, sand it, and repaint it. Everything is made with the idea of it being easier to replace than to maintain, aka planned obsolescence. Thanks, capitalism You guys are obscenely, dangerously wrong.  It’s not planned obsolescence, it’s physics. Modern cars crumple to absorb and distribute the forces of impact in an accident in an effort to protect the occupants. When cars didn’t have those crumple zones, the occupants, being the soft, squishy things they were, took those forces and were mangled or killed in horrible ways. Also, those older cars took hidden damage that often went unnoticed and made them very dangerous to drive.  I recently watched a TV show where a small sedan was run over by the trailer of an eighteen-wheeler. Run. Over. They had to unwrap the crumpled ball of a car from the undercarriage of that trailer. Guess what? The driver suffered only minor injuries because the car collapsed in exactly the way it was designed to so that she, in the very strong frame surrounding the passenger compartment, was protected.  And no, don’t thank capitalism for these modern cars. Thank Ralph Nader and countless other safety activists who worked tirelessly to make car manufacturers accountable for the safety of the people who drove their cars. 
Cars, Fucking, and Run: SheStayFabulous
 @Shestayfabulous
 Man old cars really were made to last
 1/5
 Ayton SZN
 @ReeceDontTweet
 ) his car ain't break a sweat
becausedragonage:
freshest-tittymilk:

princealigorna:

And this is why we used to make cars out of STEEL instead of FIBERGLASS! Sure, fiberglass is a lot lighter in weight and hence a hell of a lot better for gas mileage. But you hit anything at more than 20 mph and the entire body explodes off the fucking thing, and now you’re spending more to repair the car than it’s worth because you need a entire front end, read end, or side panel. They can’t just take the damaged section off, beat it out with a hammer, sand it, and repaint it.

Everything is made with the idea of it being easier to replace than to maintain, aka planned obsolescence. Thanks, capitalism

You guys are obscenely, dangerously wrong. 
It’s not planned obsolescence, it’s physics.
Modern cars crumple to absorb and distribute the forces of impact in an accident in an effort to protect the occupants. When cars didn’t have those crumple zones, the occupants, being the soft, squishy things they were, took those forces and were mangled or killed in horrible ways. Also, those older cars took hidden damage that often went unnoticed and made them very dangerous to drive. 
I recently watched a TV show where a small sedan was run over by the trailer of an eighteen-wheeler. Run. Over. They had to unwrap the crumpled ball of a car from the undercarriage of that trailer. Guess what? The driver suffered only minor injuries because the car collapsed in exactly the way it was designed to so that she, in the very strong frame surrounding the passenger compartment, was protected. 
And no, don’t thank capitalism for these modern cars. Thank Ralph Nader and countless other safety activists who worked tirelessly to make car manufacturers accountable for the safety of the people who drove their cars. 

becausedragonage: freshest-tittymilk: princealigorna: And this is why we used to make cars out of STEEL instead of FIBERGLASS! Sure, fiber...

Dank, Facebook, and Instagram: MAKE Early Golden age meme (pinwheel background Impact Text) MORE MEMES MAKE Golden Age memes use specific photos which have specific memetic "translations of Late Golden age (Just Photo, Impact Text) Transitional meme (Photo from tumblr, instagram, twitter or facebook, with an accompanying text, often added just for emphasis) At the transitional stage, memes here include "reactions" that encourage the reader into what it means or how it is 1'm sure this means something, but don ask me what dog When you show your mom a pic on your phone and she starts swiping Silver Age meme When Back to School commercials start coming on but you're not a teacher or a kid so you don't give a shit (photo with text in arial-design is reminiscent of a twitter post) At this age, the photo is the supplement rather than the defining characteristic. The text, rather than the photo, provides meaning. UBER eats New Age meme (Photos only, very little text) At this age, the meme no longer requires text for definitive suppliment. The meaning is expressed by memetic definition and The photos are self-explanatoriy and the meaning is expressed by multiple connected frames. Text, if used, gives context only Are you smart? Spelit Late Stage meme (nuked memes, deep fried memes, surreal memes These are not meant to pass on memetic meaning, but instead are entirely based on absurd and contextual humor They are often not made to communicate thought. No only be on ou ust I am currently studying memes academically. I thought you might enjoy the current proposed ages of internet memes by PonyToast MORE MEMES
Dank, Facebook, and Instagram: MAKE
 Early
 Golden age
 meme
 (pinwheel background
 Impact Text)
 MORE MEMES
 MAKE
 Golden Age memes use specific
 photos which have specific
 memetic "translations of
 Late
 Golden age
 (Just Photo, Impact
 Text)
 Transitional
 meme
 (Photo from tumblr,
 instagram, twitter or
 facebook, with an
 accompanying text,
 often added just for
 emphasis)
 At the transitional stage,
 memes here include "reactions"
 that encourage the reader into
 what it means or how it is
 1'm sure this means something, but don ask me what
 dog
 When you show your mom a pic on
 your phone and she starts swiping
 Silver Age
 meme
 When Back to School commercials start
 coming on but you're not a teacher or a
 kid so you don't give a shit
 (photo with text in
 arial-design is
 reminiscent of a twitter
 post)
 At this age, the photo is the
 supplement rather than the
 defining characteristic. The
 text, rather than the photo,
 provides meaning.
 UBER
 eats
 New Age
 meme
 (Photos only, very little
 text)
 At this age, the meme no
 longer requires text for
 definitive suppliment. The
 meaning is expressed by
 memetic definition and
 The photos are
 self-explanatoriy and the
 meaning is expressed by
 multiple connected frames.
 Text, if used, gives context
 only
 Are you smart? Spelit
 Late Stage
 meme
 (nuked memes, deep
 fried memes, surreal
 memes
 These are not meant to pass
 on memetic meaning, but
 instead are entirely based on
 absurd and contextual humor
 They are often not made to
 communicate thought.
 No
 only be
 on
 ou
 ust
I am currently studying memes academically. I thought you might enjoy the current proposed ages of internet memes by PonyToast
MORE MEMES

I am currently studying memes academically. I thought you might enjoy the current proposed ages of internet memes by PonyToast MORE MEMES

Target, Tumblr, and Blog: cup-a-fear:The cameraperson was killed immediately upon impact
Target, Tumblr, and Blog: cup-a-fear:The cameraperson was killed immediately upon impact

cup-a-fear:The cameraperson was killed immediately upon impact

Beautiful, Bitch, and Chill: bpd-darling me (cleaning up): holds knife intrusive thoughts: what if me: ok edgelord we get it what if i slit my wrists right now can we please just focus egalitarian-nature-blog Additionally, me: *waiting for the subway* intrusive thoughts: what if you jumped me: it would cause a four hour delay while they pick your body parts out of the rails you fucking prick, can we please for once get on public transit without going through this rosefvondudehomie Also; Me: *walking along a busy road* intrusive thoughts: What if you just fell over in front of this truck? Me: It would back up traffic all fucking night and probably hurt a lot of people you prick. smallblueangel Gosh. I never have thoughts like this bpd-darling didnt ask but that sounds nice pluto-suxk Me: *walking down the stairs* Intrusive Thought: I could throw myself down these flight of stairs and leave more time for everyone else! Me: Or you end up with a broken wrist and sprain ankle you dickhead keep walking saveachocobo-rideaprompto Me: *driving on a bridge* Intrusive thoughts I could just drive straight into that lake and finish it right now. Me: You asshole, this is a new car. Just fucking keep going like everyon else you prick. noodle-boyy oh my god,MAAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA rosebadwolf1000 I needed this beka-tiddalik Me: *standing at a lookout* It's so beautiful here... Intrusive thoughts: yeah, look at that view, you could just step out into it and you'd probably never feel the impact when you hit the ground 20m below.. Me: Bitch, don't ruin the view for everyone else. Fucksake httpquotescum Me: *doing literally nothing* Intrusive thoughts: What if Me: Can't you just shut the fuck up and chill for once? God damn ramblingandpie Me: I wonder what my wife wants for dinner? Intrusive thought: a divorce Me: Now, Timothy, that's just uncalled for. You can't even eat that. Source: bpd-darling 233,165 notes Sassing those intrusive thoughts away.
Beautiful, Bitch, and Chill: bpd-darling
 me (cleaning up): holds knife
 intrusive thoughts: what if
 me: ok edgelord we get it what if i slit my
 wrists right now can we please just focus
 egalitarian-nature-blog
 Additionally, me: *waiting for the subway*
 intrusive thoughts: what if you jumped me: it
 would cause a four hour delay while they pick
 your body parts out of the rails you fucking
 prick, can we please for once get on public
 transit without going through this
 rosefvondudehomie
 Also; Me: *walking along a busy road*
 intrusive thoughts: What if you just fell over
 in front of this truck? Me: It would back up
 traffic all fucking night and probably hurt a lot
 of people you prick.
 smallblueangel
 Gosh. I never have thoughts like this
 bpd-darling
 didnt ask but that sounds nice
 pluto-suxk
 Me: *walking down the stairs* Intrusive
 Thought: I could throw myself down these
 flight of stairs and leave more time for
 everyone else! Me: Or you end up with a
 broken wrist and sprain ankle you dickhead
 keep walking
 saveachocobo-rideaprompto
 Me: *driving on a bridge* Intrusive thoughts
 I could just drive straight into that lake and
 finish it right now. Me: You asshole, this is a
 new car. Just fucking keep going like everyon
 else you prick.
 noodle-boyy
 oh my god,MAAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
 rosebadwolf1000
 I needed this
 beka-tiddalik
 Me: *standing at a lookout* It's so beautiful
 here...
 Intrusive thoughts: yeah, look at that view, you
 could just step out into it and you'd probably
 never feel the impact when you hit the ground
 20m below..
 Me: Bitch, don't ruin the view for everyone
 else. Fucksake
 httpquotescum
 Me: *doing literally nothing*
 Intrusive thoughts: What if
 Me: Can't you just shut the fuck up and chill
 for once? God damn
 ramblingandpie
 Me: I wonder what my wife wants for dinner?
 Intrusive thought: a divorce
 Me: Now, Timothy, that's just uncalled for. You
 can't even eat that.
 Source: bpd-darling
 233,165 notes
Sassing those intrusive thoughts away.

Sassing those intrusive thoughts away.

9/11, Africa, and Being Alone: now you kno! In 2002, Kenyan Masai tribespeople donated 14 cows to to the U.S to help with the aftermath of 9/11. nowyoukno.com thestoicgod: hutchj: thestoicgod: velocicrafter: markingatlightspeed: cyanwrites: iammyfather: evilelitest2: petitepenquin: mehofkirkwall: disputedthreshermaw: natrsrants: deadcatwithaflamethrower: jadedhavok: randomthingsthatilike123: gweatherwax: awesomonster: obese-starving-artist: the-treble: nowyoukno: Source for more facts on your dash follow NowYouKno That was super nice of them. And now I’m mad that nobody told us we were given cows. Cause that’s really f*cking nice and nobody mentioned it at all. American media tends to disregard that anyone donates to the US. And then Amurricans complain about money going abroad because “nobody helped the US in our disasters.” . Also, do you know how much a cow costs? O.O It isn’t just a matter of how much a cow costs, its a matter of considering that Masai life is based around their cattle. Its their wealth, their food, and a significant part of their religion. Here’s a quote from Wikipedia: “Traditional Maasai lifestyle centres around their cattle which constitute their primary source of food. The measure of a man’s wealth is in terms of cattle and children. A herd of 50 cattle is respectable, and the more children the better. A man who has plenty of one but not the other is considered to be poor.[37] A Maasai religious belief relates that God gave them all the cattle on earth, leading to the belief that rustling cattle from other tribes is a matter of taking back what is rightfully theirs, a practice that has become much less common.[38]” So its not just “they gave us 14 cows”, its that they gave us something that is very important and significant to them, it is more than just a kind gesture that definitely deserves to be known and its a genuine shame that more people don’t know about it. Wait, you guys DON’T KNOW that we offer help to the US when you have disasters??????? Shit, down here in Brazil we not only offered to send tracking units and doctors to help in 9/11 but we wanted to send a whole lot of donations to help with Katrina (we have experience with floods down here so we knew what kind of medicine to send to prevent outbreaks).  We alone had like 2 army airplanes full of medicine and non-perishables like baby formula, diapers, bottled water, mosquito nets and other stuff that’s needed to fight opportunistic diseases that hit flooded areas, enough to assist a good few thousand people at least, ready to go the day after it hit, but your government refused the donations.  The same thing happened to the Canadians and Europeans who offered help, the US embassies around the world told us all to give money to Red Cross. And so we did, we all gave hundreds of millions of dollars to them, and then this happened: Red Cross scandals tarnish relief efforts ‘Breathtaking’ Waste and Fraud in Hurricane Aid So please, don’t you go spreading misinformation and prejudice against the rest of the world, WE DID OFFER HELP AND ORGANIZED IT EVEN FASTER THAN BUSH DID, BUT Y’ALL REFUSED IT.  Oh wow I had no idea this happened it’s really not talked about in media at all wow this is something good to know about wow I’m so angry. I didn’t know that other countries tried to help after 9/11 or Katrina. Like, that’s something we, the people, should hear about and we don’t. Please don’t blame us for the shitty decisions our government makes. We don’t have as much control over our government as we would like to think and they keep a lot from us. Spread this shit.  After Katrina, Cuba donated several hundred blankets. Think about that. A country that is suffering economically due directly to the US embargo offered to help us when we needed it by sending what they could. And once again, it was refused. We have a government that is so self-righteous that we refuse to accept disaster aid in order to maintain this facade that we are the most generous nation on earth. Okay, Katrina thing.Only Texans really knows this? and even then it’s not wide spread.Mexico sent their army.They sent their army for relief efforts. Didn’t call ahead, they drove all the way to San Antonio with doctors and food and all sorts of supplies.When people actually got a call from them saying “Hey, we’re sending people up.”The people who answered said “What? We can’t…”“Too late, already there.”This was while the government was turning down help.So yeah, other countries send relief.Forest fires up in Washington last year? Firefighters from Australia came up to assist.Like… we don’t hear about this shit. At all. I can second the above with the fires.  Most the time, when people say “oh FEMA or something sent people right?” re: fires, its actually people from other countries showing up and kinda ignoring the government telling them to fuck off and staying on behalf of local departments because we REALLY need them.  If there’s a huge ass disaster, and the government is sitting there with a thumb up it’s ass, help is offered and most the time– shit, it gets there!But then the feds do something really fucking dirty.They insist they were the help, if it’s talked about at all.  They insist those people putting out fires were federal people, because to most people a fireman’s a fireman. The people handing out water and food, a relief worker is a relief worker. So on and so forth.  We had people come up when the fires were so bad a while ago– not the Australians, but i think there was like a German group of like 3 guys that flew themselves over? They came out of sheer “this is horrible and we’re helping” and my dad [local fire chief] had them working with our guys and the feds lost no time telling every news outlet that it was THEIR people doing all the fire knockdowns and structure work when these guys were running into buildings and grabbing people, pets, and people’s important documents because they knew papers were a pain in the ass to replace.  What you gotta understand is that our government is very intent on selling us and the rest of the world [as much as possible] the idea of a powerful and self reliant country. All our reporting on disasters, starts with the scaremongering and then moves to “but our people can handle it because we’re the best at handling things” and then they move on before the idea it’s out of control comes to mind. The average person outside of the disaster has no idea, if they have never been around such an event or met someone who regularly deals with these things, they will kinda probably nod along with that. Because we have no real scope on the scale and impact– by design. Our media intake is very controlled to slant everything to the “eh, we can handle it and everyone else out there– they need our help because they’re not so good at handling disasters like we are.”People who know better, reading international news, interacting with international social groups, looking outside their sphere of community– we know better but that kinda slant is really hard to break from because of that grip American media has on information.So, taking that knowledge, we further have restricted reporting on certain disasters because they’re considered unimportant. Hurricanes are considered important, earthquakes are only considered important if it wrecks something the government cares about or somewhere a couple million people live that they’ll upset the national money flow/they can throw money at someone to make the news care, floods are only important if it’s in a similar manner to earthquakes but since they occur annually they’re rarely reported on nationally, mudslides that kill people or leave hundreds homeless aren’t important to the government even through they happen constantly, wildfires that consume most of the nation/continent each year generally are unimportant until they consume a town or threaten a government interest/money flow location. Terrorist attacks are always important because people will talk about them. So, when we do get help for any of the above, it’s possible that most people may have no idea about what’s happened, let alone that help’s been sent. Or if people know something happened, the details are vague– the news don’t care to give the nitty gritty. You’ll know something happened and people are suffering and “gee, isn’t it good you’re not them” and then now the weather. So, yeah, basically no one really knows we get help. International response to Hurricane Katrina: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_response_to_Hurricane_Katrina  We got HELLA help, but nobody really talks about it American Media really fails regularly  Hurricane Sandy, Quebec sends power line crews down to assist in restoring power.  California gets rid of water bombers due to budget cuts, Canada sends theirs down to help fight wild fires. Amazing what living on the border and having outside TV News does to your information flow. After Katrina, Denmark offered to donate water purification units so people wouldn’t get sick from drinking contaminated water, but the offer was declined. A private Danish company built a mobile satellite phone booth and drove it around the poor neighbourhoods in Mississippi and Louisiana so people could call their families and insurance companies for free (apparently there was a deadline for reporting damages but people couldn’t call in because their mobile phones were dead and landlines were down). American propaganda is not a thing of the past, nor is it a new thing. It has been around forever, telling stories of exceptionalism and self-reliance while our government tries its hardest to refuse the help of others and offer its own to them, to try and force other nations onto their back foot and remain aggressively benevolent in international matters, so that it can lord that shit over them in negotiations and the media in general.I guarantee you America would have a less jingoistic, less xenophobic populace overall if this sort of information were actually reported to us. If we weren’t always fed the lie of helping the world without any gratitude or help in return. If the media didn’t present us as world police and instead as a part of the community, as other countries try hard to include us as, then maybe Americans would actually act like they’re part of a fucking community.But global citizens are hard to monger fear and distrust and xenophobia and nationalism with. They’re hard to control with propaganda and hate. They’re hard to keep ignorant and docile and saying “this is fine” while the empire burns.A lot of Americans wonder why our country is seen as a worldwide bully. Shit like that, my friends. Shit like that. Its hubris is seemingly limitless. C O M M E N T A R Y FYI: They left out the part where America’s rudeness kicked in and turned down the offer of the cows. The US government is really tryna kill its people. Someone offered water purification units and they were like “nah,” let those tricks get sick. @hutchj how about the U.S. passed a law recently making CBD, the non-psychoactive derivative of cannabis, illegal as a Schedule A drug, EVEN THOUGH IT HAS BEEN PROVEN TO REDUCE EPILEPTIC SEIZURES IN CHILDREN TO ZERO among a dozen other ailments having been reduced to nominal levels allowing ppl to function normally (ADHD, chronic pain, IBS, menstrual cramps, Alzheimer’s, etc). Doctors around the country (that Big Pharma can’t buy off) are fighting back for their patients’ well-being. 😡
9/11, Africa, and Being Alone: now you kno!
 In 2002, Kenyan Masai tribespeople
 donated 14 cows to to the U.S
 to help with the aftermath of 9/11.
 nowyoukno.com
thestoicgod:

hutchj:

thestoicgod:

velocicrafter:
markingatlightspeed:

cyanwrites:

iammyfather:

evilelitest2:

petitepenquin:

mehofkirkwall:

disputedthreshermaw:

natrsrants:

deadcatwithaflamethrower:

jadedhavok:

randomthingsthatilike123:

gweatherwax:

awesomonster:

obese-starving-artist:

the-treble:

nowyoukno:

Source for more facts on your dash follow NowYouKno

That was super nice of them.
And now I’m mad that nobody told us we were given cows. Cause that’s really f*cking nice and nobody mentioned it at all.

American media tends to disregard that anyone donates to the US. And then Amurricans complain about money going abroad because “nobody helped the US in our disasters.”
.
Also, do you know how much a cow costs? O.O

It isn’t just a matter of how much a cow costs, its a matter of considering that Masai life is based around their cattle. Its their wealth, their food, and a significant part of their religion. Here’s a quote from Wikipedia:
“Traditional Maasai lifestyle centres around their cattle which constitute their primary source of food. The measure of a man’s wealth is in terms of cattle and children. A herd of 50 cattle is respectable, and the more children the better. A man who has plenty of one but not the other is considered to be poor.[37] A Maasai religious belief relates that God gave them all the cattle on earth, leading to the belief that rustling cattle from other tribes is a matter of taking back what is rightfully theirs, a practice that has become much less common.[38]”
So its not just “they gave us 14 cows”, its that they gave us something that is very important and significant to them, it is more than just a kind gesture that definitely deserves to be known and its a genuine shame that more people don’t know about it.

Wait, you guys DON’T KNOW that we offer help to the US when you have disasters???????
Shit, down here in Brazil we not only offered to send tracking units and doctors to help in 9/11 but we wanted to send a whole lot of donations to help with Katrina (we have experience with floods down here so we knew what kind of medicine to send to prevent outbreaks). 
We alone had like 2 army airplanes full of medicine and non-perishables like baby formula, diapers, bottled water, mosquito nets and other stuff that’s needed to fight opportunistic diseases that hit flooded areas, enough to assist a good few thousand people at least, ready to go the day after it hit, but your government refused the donations. 
The same thing happened to the Canadians and Europeans who offered help, the US embassies around the world told us all to give money to Red Cross.
And so we did, we all gave hundreds of millions of dollars to them, and then this happened:
Red Cross scandals tarnish relief efforts


‘Breathtaking’ Waste and Fraud in Hurricane Aid


So please, don’t you go spreading misinformation and prejudice against the rest of the world, WE DID OFFER HELP AND ORGANIZED IT EVEN FASTER THAN BUSH DID, BUT Y’ALL REFUSED IT. 

Oh wow I had no idea this happened it’s really not talked about in media at all wow this is something good to know about wow

I’m so angry.
I didn’t know that other countries tried to help after 9/11 or Katrina.  Like, that’s something we, the people, should hear about and we don’t.
Please don’t blame us for the shitty decisions our government makes.  We don’t have as much control over our government as we would like to think and they keep a lot from us.

Spread this shit.  

After Katrina, Cuba donated several hundred blankets. Think about that. A country that is suffering economically due directly to the US embargo offered to help us when we needed it by sending what they could. And once again, it was refused. We have a government that is so self-righteous that we refuse to accept disaster aid in order to maintain this facade that we are the most generous nation on earth.

Okay, Katrina thing.Only Texans really knows this? and even then it’s not wide spread.Mexico sent their army.They sent their army for relief efforts. Didn’t call ahead, they drove all the way to San Antonio with doctors and food and all sorts of supplies.When people actually got a call from them saying “Hey, we’re sending people up.”The people who answered said “What? We can’t…”“Too late, already there.”This was while the government was turning down help.So yeah, other countries send relief.Forest fires up in Washington last year? Firefighters from Australia came up to assist.Like… we don’t hear about this shit. At all.

I can second the above with the fires. 
Most the time, when people say “oh FEMA or something sent people right?” re: fires, its actually people from other countries showing up and kinda ignoring the government telling them to fuck off and staying on behalf of local departments because we REALLY need them. 
If there’s a huge ass disaster, and the government is sitting there with a thumb up it’s ass, help is offered and most the time– shit, it gets there!But then the feds do something really fucking dirty.They insist they were the help, if it’s talked about at all. 
They insist those people putting out fires were federal people, because to most people a fireman’s a fireman. The people handing out water and food, a relief worker is a relief worker. So on and so forth. 
We had people come up when the fires were so bad a while ago– not the Australians, but i think there was like a German group of like 3 guys that flew themselves over? They came out of sheer “this is horrible and we’re helping” and my dad [local fire chief] had them working with our guys and the feds lost no time telling every news outlet that it was THEIR people doing all the fire knockdowns and structure work when these guys were running into buildings and grabbing people, pets, and people’s important documents because they knew papers were a pain in the ass to replace. 
What you gotta understand is that our government is very intent on selling us and the rest of the world [as much as possible] the idea of a powerful and self reliant country. All our reporting on disasters, starts with the scaremongering and then moves to “but our people can handle it because we’re the best at handling things” and then they move on before the idea it’s out of control comes to mind. The average person outside of the disaster has no idea, if they have never been around such an event or met someone who regularly deals with these things, they will kinda probably nod along with that. Because we have no real scope on the scale and impact– by design. Our media intake is very controlled to slant everything to the “eh, we can handle it and everyone else out there– they need our help because they’re not so good at handling disasters like we are.”People who know better, reading international news, interacting with international social groups, looking outside their sphere of community– we know better but that kinda slant is really hard to break from because of that grip American media has on information.So, taking that knowledge, we further have restricted reporting on certain disasters because they’re considered unimportant. Hurricanes are considered important, earthquakes are only considered important if it wrecks something the government cares about or somewhere a couple million people live that they’ll upset the national money flow/they can throw money at someone to make the news care, floods are only important if it’s in a similar manner to earthquakes but since they occur annually they’re rarely reported on nationally, mudslides that kill people or leave hundreds homeless aren’t important to the government even through they happen constantly, wildfires that consume most of the nation/continent each year generally are unimportant until they consume a town or threaten a government interest/money flow location. Terrorist attacks are always important because people will talk about them.
So, when we do get help for any of the above, it’s possible that most people may have no idea about what’s happened, let alone that help’s been sent. Or if people know something happened, the details are vague– the news don’t care to give the nitty gritty. You’ll know something happened and people are suffering and “gee, isn’t it good you’re not them” and then now the weather.
So, yeah, basically no one really knows we get help.

International response to Hurricane Katrina:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_response_to_Hurricane_Katrina 
We got HELLA help, but nobody really talks about it

American Media really fails regularly 

Hurricane Sandy, Quebec sends power line crews down to assist in restoring power.  California gets rid of water bombers due to budget cuts, Canada sends theirs down to help fight wild fires. Amazing what living on the border and having outside TV News does to your information flow.

After Katrina, Denmark offered to donate water purification units so people wouldn’t get sick from drinking contaminated water, but the offer was declined.
A private Danish company built a mobile satellite phone booth and drove it around the poor neighbourhoods in Mississippi and Louisiana so people could call their families and insurance companies for free (apparently there was a deadline for reporting damages but people couldn’t call in because their mobile phones were dead and landlines were down).

American propaganda is not a thing of the past, nor is it a new thing.  It has been around forever, telling stories of exceptionalism and self-reliance while our government tries its hardest to refuse the help of others and offer its own to them, to try and force other nations onto their back foot and remain aggressively benevolent in international matters, so that it can lord that shit over them in negotiations and the media in general.I guarantee you America would have a less jingoistic, less xenophobic populace overall if this sort of information were actually reported to us.  If we weren’t always fed the lie of helping the world without any gratitude or help in return.  If the media didn’t present us as world police and instead as a part of the community, as other countries try hard to include us as, then maybe Americans would actually act like they’re part of a fucking community.But global citizens are hard to monger fear and distrust and xenophobia and nationalism with.  They’re hard to control with propaganda and hate.  They’re hard to keep ignorant and docile and saying “this is fine” while the empire burns.A lot of Americans wonder why our country is seen as a worldwide bully.  Shit like that, my friends.  Shit like that.  Its hubris is seemingly limitless.

C O M M E N T A R Y
FYI: They left out the part where America’s rudeness kicked in and turned down the offer of the cows. 

 The US government is really tryna kill its people. Someone offered water purification units and they were like “nah,” let those tricks get sick.

@hutchj  how about the U.S. passed a law recently making CBD, the non-psychoactive derivative of cannabis, illegal as a Schedule A drug, EVEN THOUGH IT HAS BEEN PROVEN TO REDUCE EPILEPTIC SEIZURES IN CHILDREN TO ZERO among a dozen other ailments having been reduced to nominal levels allowing ppl to function normally (ADHD, chronic pain, IBS, menstrual cramps, Alzheimer’s, etc). Doctors around the country (that Big Pharma can’t buy off) are fighting back for their patients’ well-being. 😡

thestoicgod: hutchj: thestoicgod: velocicrafter: markingatlightspeed: cyanwrites: iammyfather: evilelitest2: petitepenquin: mehofkir...

Ass, Bad, and Dinosaur: did you know? Scientists invented fabric that makes electricity from motion and sunlight. To create the fabric, researchers at Georgia Tech wove together solar cell fibers with materials that generate power from movement. It could be used in "tents, curtains, or wearable garments," meaning we'd virtually never be without power. PHOTO: GEORGIA TECH DIDYOUKNOWBLOG.COM ghostsonthewisconsinriver: trapqueenkoopa: aspiringwarriorlibrarian: greaseonmymouth: mllemusketeer: inushiek: deniedmysign: scarletgoldenthorn: fridjitzu: did-you-kno: Scientists invented fabric that makes electricity from motion and sunlight. To create the fabric, researchers at Georgia Tech wove together solar cell fibers with materials that generate power from movement. It could be used in “tents, curtains, or wearable garments,” meaning we’d virtually never be without power. Source Y'all are fucking idiots. Clean energy will NEVER be enough to replace the energy we have now. We’d have to tear down DOZENS of forests just to fit enough windmills and solar panels to get even a QUARTER (probably less, tbh) of the energy we can produce now. Yeah, sure, when they’ve already calculated that a few square miles of panels in the empty ass Arizona desert could power the whole nation. But ok, fracking and the diminishing petroleum supply is worlds better. Nevermind that windmills are often most efficient off the coast. There they take up no land, impact no trees, don’t pollute the water, and are conveniently located where winds are often strongest anyway. And solar panels can literally be built into roofs of buildings and in empty areas like deserts. The sun strikes the Earth with the same amount of energy in an hour that our civilization uses in a year. But yeah, it would be impossible for us to ever have enough energy from clean sources. Durr hurr technology is bad and I would rather light shit on fire than have clean energy I can also testify to the Arizona desert being empty ass. And the California desert. And the Nevada desert.  also…no forests were cleared to make space for Denmark’s windmills and yet they regularly produce so much power that it covers almost all of the country’s power needs. Oh, and then there’s the times when the windmills generate 140% of Denmark’s power needs. https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/jul/10/denmark-wind-windfarm-power-exceed-electricity-demand Friendly reminder that oil pipelines are a scam. The fact that anyone can believe a limited amount of dinosaur oil is more plentiful and efficient than moving air or fucking sunlight is proof that entire populations can be completely brainwashed. also, even if we can’t get ALL our energy from renewables (at least not immediately as there is a large initial investment required), even a partial replacement of the vast amount of fossil fuels we use would be a fantastic place to start reducing impacts. just because you can’t do everything immediately doesn’t mean there is no reason to start. the real reason that fossil fuels aren’t being replaced with renewables right now is so that the oil companies and shit can still make profits. its disgusting Its 2018, bitches!
Ass, Bad, and Dinosaur: did you know?
 Scientists invented fabric that makes
 electricity from motion and sunlight.
 To create the fabric, researchers at
 Georgia Tech wove together solar
 cell fibers with materials that generate
 power from movement. It could be
 used in "tents, curtains, or wearable
 garments," meaning we'd virtually
 never be without power.
 PHOTO: GEORGIA TECH
 DIDYOUKNOWBLOG.COM
ghostsonthewisconsinriver:

trapqueenkoopa:

aspiringwarriorlibrarian:

greaseonmymouth:

mllemusketeer:

inushiek:

deniedmysign:

scarletgoldenthorn:

fridjitzu:

did-you-kno:

Scientists invented fabric that makes 
electricity from motion and sunlight. 
To create the fabric, researchers at 
Georgia Tech wove together solar 
cell fibers with materials that generate 
power from movement. It could be 
used in “tents, curtains, or wearable 
garments,” meaning we’d virtually 
never be without power.  Source




Y'all are fucking idiots. Clean energy will NEVER be enough to replace the energy we have now. We’d have to tear down DOZENS of forests just to fit enough windmills and solar panels to get even a QUARTER (probably less, tbh) of the energy we can produce now.

Yeah, sure, when they’ve already calculated that a few square miles of panels in the empty ass Arizona desert could power the whole nation. But ok, fracking and the diminishing petroleum supply is worlds better.


Nevermind that windmills are often most efficient off the coast. There they take up no land, impact no trees, don’t pollute the water, and are conveniently located where winds are often strongest anyway.
And solar panels can literally be built into roofs of buildings and in empty areas like deserts. The sun strikes the Earth with the same amount of energy in an hour that our civilization uses in a year. 
But yeah, it would be impossible for us to ever have enough energy from clean sources.
Durr hurr technology is bad and I would rather light shit on fire than have clean energy

I can also testify to the Arizona desert being empty ass. And the California desert. And the Nevada desert. 


also…no forests were cleared to make space for Denmark’s windmills and yet they regularly produce so much power that it covers almost all of the country’s power needs. Oh, and then there’s the times when the windmills generate 140% of Denmark’s power needs. https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/jul/10/denmark-wind-windfarm-power-exceed-electricity-demand

Friendly reminder that oil pipelines are a scam.

The fact that anyone can believe a limited amount of dinosaur oil is more plentiful and efficient than moving air or fucking sunlight is proof that entire populations can be completely brainwashed.

also, even if we can’t get ALL our energy from renewables (at least not immediately as there is a large initial investment required), even a partial replacement of the vast amount of fossil fuels we use would be a fantastic place to start reducing impacts. just because you can’t do everything immediately doesn’t mean there is no reason to start. the real reason that fossil fuels aren’t being replaced with renewables right now is so that the oil companies and shit can still make profits. its disgusting

Its 2018, bitches!

ghostsonthewisconsinriver: trapqueenkoopa: aspiringwarriorlibrarian: greaseonmymouth: mllemusketeer: inushiek: deniedmysign: scarletg...

Alive, Beard, and Calvin Johnson: dail alexander Follow drucila616 How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy? ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, Ijust lie there ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at al WITNESS: Yes ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how I5 WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ. ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral.. ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? And last Stitch ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have stili been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law skrill-cosby oh my god these are great fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes Source 1,411,980 notes Witness v. Attorney: Dawn of Jokes
Alive, Beard, and Calvin Johnson: dail
 alexander Follow
 drucila616
 How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?
 These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts
 and are things people actually said in court, word for
 word, taken down and published by court reporters
 that had the torment of staying calm while the
 exchanges were taking place
 ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband
 said to you that morning?
 WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?
 ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
 WITNESS: My name is Susan!
 ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of
 the impact?
 WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks
 ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
 WITNESS: No, Ijust lie there
 ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
 WITNESS: July 18th
 ATTORNEY: What year?
 WITNESS: Every year
 ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with
 you?
 WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't
 remember which
 ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
 WITNESS: Forty-five years
 ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect
 your memory at al
 WITNESS: Yes
 ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your
 memory?
 WITNESS: I forget..
 ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example
 of something you forgot?
 ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a
 person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it
 until the next morning?
 WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
 ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how
 I5
 WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
 ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was
 taken?
 WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
 ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby)
 was
 WITNESS: Yes.
 ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
 WITNESS: Getting laid
 ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
 WITNESS: Yes.
 ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
 WITNESS: None.
 ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
 WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different
 attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
 ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
 WITNESS: By death.
 ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
 WITNESS: Take a guess
 ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
 WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a
 beard
 ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
 WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going
 with male
 ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning
 pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your
 attorney?
 WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work
 ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies
 have you performed on dead people?
 WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much
 ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?
 What school did you go to?
 WITNESS: Oral..
 ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined
 the body?
 WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
 ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
 WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
 ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
 WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
 And last
 Stitch
 ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the
 autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
 WITNESS: No.
 ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
 WITNESS: No.
 ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
 WITNESS: No.
 ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient
 was alive when you began the autopsy?
 WITNESS: No.
 ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
 WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk
 ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have stili
 been alive, nevertheless?
 WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been
 alive and practicing law
 skrill-cosby
 oh my god these are great
 fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes
 Source
 1,411,980 notes
Witness v. Attorney: Dawn of Jokes

Witness v. Attorney: Dawn of Jokes

Animals, Apparently, and Birthday: Based Lubricant, 5 5 Drum Passion Lubes 3,051 customer reviews 78 answered questions About the product The Ultimate Lube Keg .Best Value Lube Pump Included xxBackyard Carnival of Death By James O. Thach on February 27, 2014 Size: 55 Gallon I'm a risk analyst for a major insurance firm, so when my wife and I were planning a birthday party for our seven-year-old, Crispin, my mind naturally turned to liabilities. We'd settled on the theme of a "backyard carnival", complete with a swing set, a trampoline, merry-go-round, and a giant Slip n Slide. So I carefully inspected the equipment for safety. It all seemed sound We have a home on a bluff overlooking the ocean. As it happened, on the day of the party our neighbors were trimming their fichus trees. We heard the sound of their wood chipper buzzing occasionally from the other side of our tall hedge. It was a little irritating, but not disruptive The party started off wonderfully. A clown we'd hired made balloon animals, Crispin eagerly opened his presents, and all the children enjoyed cake and fruit punch. The weather was mild, the skies clear. It seemed a perfect day. Then we brought out the Slip n Slide. The problem with water slides is what we in the trade call "distributed water deficiency zones", or in layman's terms, dry spots. If a child hits one of these, it can put the brakes on the fun, and send them sliding down a path of medical claims--contusions, concussions, lacerations, abrasions, whiplash, back rash, and disc impaction. And that's just for starters. From there, it's a slippery slope toward major litigation To avoid even the remote possibility of such injuries, I invested in this 55 gallon drum of water soluble personal lubricant--the idea being that the children could enjoy the slide in complete safety, then wash off in the hose before their parents came to retrieve them. With that in mind, I dipped each child into the vat before allowing them to cue up for the slide. The Slip n Slide itself performed admirably, as did the lubricant. That, in fact, was the problem. Due to the slight downhill gradient of our yard, the children built up so much speed that they skidded across the lawn and into a retaining wall at the other end of our property, with sufficient force that I had to put an end to the activity I endeavored to roll up the mat--no easy task, as the lawn surrounding the slide was itself now lubricated, and I struggled to maintain my footing. When I looked up from my labor, I grasped for the first time the scope of the liabilities I had unleashed-a horde of extremely well-lubricated seven-year-olds, hyped up on sugar and desperate for fun. I saw young Eliza Gimmelman climb onto the trampoline. She began jumping, but the pad soon became so slick that she lost all control. Her wild flailing unfortunately fell into harmonic synchronization with the motion of the springs, propelling her ever higher, until she soared above the trampoline's safety enclosure, over the hedge and into the neighbor's yard. There came a ghastly grinding sound, and I could tell from the crimson plume that followed, it would be a total loss Twins Jeremy and Mason Lafferty were on the swing set. Having attained the swings' full range of motion, they were apparently having difficulty holding on. At that point, the swings became human catapults. Mason separated on the backswing, arcing over the roof of our home toward the street beyond. I surmised from the screeching tires, car horns and screams of horror that he was also unrecoverable. A terrified Jeremy soon lost his grip as well, sailing forward over the bluff, and plummeting 300 feet down into the ice-cold, shark-infested waters of the San Francisco Bay. An open claim, but not promising The rest of the children were clinging to the merry-go-round. Having just witnessed the violent deaths of at least two of their playmates, they were no longer in the mood for fun. However, the lubricant had dripped from their glistening bodies into the central cog, allowing it to spin far faster than it was designed to, and this likely combined with other factors--their relative weight distribution, the slight incline of the ground--caused their motion to become self-sustaining, and the centrifugal force built upon itself until they became a blurry, screaming disk of human suffering. Then they began to fly off like cannon balls Martin Duckworth was the first to go, causing significant structural damage to our greenhouse. Lisa Aurelio shattered a line of ceramic garden gnomes, and Ethan Green slammed into our Audi Q7 so hard it had to be written off--as, tragically, did he. Several other children left what looked like gingerbread man indentations in the siding of our home. It was terrifying. When the wheel finally came to a stop, there was only one child aboard. As luck would have it, it was our own beloved Crispin, huddled in the center of the merry-go-round, weeping. My wife ran to him and hugged him with all the might of a relieved, traumatized parent. A little too hard, as it turned out. Lubricated as he was, he shot from her arms like a wet bar of soap, up fifteen feet in the air, landed on the trampoline, and then soared, in a half-gainer, over the hedge, into the wood chipper. Since then, I've asked myself a thousand times, is there anything I could have done differently? But in the end, no actuary table could have predicted this bloodbath. I can only conclude that this was an act of God. And that, to me, is truly terrifying. Because we're not covered for that. novelty-gift-ideas: Passion Lubes
Animals, Apparently, and Birthday: Based Lubricant, 5
 5
 Drum Passion Lubes
 3,051 customer reviews 78 answered questions
 About the product
 The Ultimate Lube Keg
 .Best Value
 Lube Pump Included

 xxBackyard Carnival of Death
 By James O. Thach on February 27, 2014
 Size: 55 Gallon
 I'm a risk analyst for a major insurance firm, so when my wife and I were planning a birthday party for our
 seven-year-old, Crispin, my mind naturally turned to liabilities. We'd settled on the theme of a "backyard
 carnival", complete with a swing set, a trampoline, merry-go-round, and a giant Slip n Slide. So I carefully
 inspected the equipment for safety. It all seemed sound
 We have a home on a bluff overlooking the ocean. As it happened, on the day of the party our neighbors were
 trimming their fichus trees. We heard the sound of their wood chipper buzzing occasionally from the other
 side of our tall hedge. It was a little irritating, but not disruptive
 The party started off wonderfully. A clown we'd hired made balloon animals, Crispin eagerly opened his
 presents, and all the children enjoyed cake and fruit punch. The weather was mild, the skies clear. It seemed a
 perfect day.
 Then we brought out the Slip n Slide.
 The problem with water slides is what we in the trade call "distributed water deficiency zones", or in layman's
 terms, dry spots. If a child hits one of these, it can put the brakes on the fun, and send them sliding down a
 path of medical claims--contusions, concussions, lacerations, abrasions, whiplash, back rash, and disc
 impaction. And that's just for starters. From there, it's a slippery slope toward major litigation
 To avoid even the remote possibility of such injuries, I invested in this 55 gallon drum of water soluble
 personal lubricant--the idea being that the children could enjoy the slide in complete safety, then wash off in
 the hose before their parents came to retrieve them. With that in mind, I dipped each child into the vat before
 allowing them to cue up for the slide.

 The Slip n Slide itself performed admirably, as did the lubricant. That, in fact, was the problem. Due to the
 slight downhill gradient of our yard, the children built up so much speed that they skidded across the lawn and
 into a retaining wall at the other end of our property, with sufficient force that I had to put an end to the
 activity
 I endeavored to roll up the mat--no easy task, as the lawn surrounding the slide was itself now lubricated, and
 I struggled to maintain my footing. When I looked up from my labor, I grasped for the first time the scope of
 the liabilities I had unleashed-a horde of extremely well-lubricated seven-year-olds, hyped up on sugar and
 desperate for fun.
 I saw young Eliza Gimmelman climb onto the trampoline. She began jumping, but the pad soon became so
 slick that she lost all control. Her wild flailing unfortunately fell into harmonic synchronization with the
 motion of the springs, propelling her ever higher, until she soared above the trampoline's safety enclosure,
 over the hedge and into the neighbor's yard. There came a ghastly grinding sound, and I could tell from the
 crimson plume that followed, it would be a total loss
 Twins Jeremy and Mason Lafferty were on the swing set. Having attained the swings' full range of motion,
 they were apparently having difficulty holding on. At that point, the swings became human catapults. Mason
 separated on the backswing, arcing over the roof of our home toward the street beyond. I surmised from the
 screeching tires, car horns and screams of horror that he was also unrecoverable. A terrified Jeremy soon lost
 his grip as well, sailing forward over the bluff, and plummeting 300 feet down into the ice-cold, shark-infested
 waters of the San Francisco Bay. An open claim, but not promising
 The rest of the children were clinging to the merry-go-round. Having just witnessed the violent deaths of at
 least two of their playmates, they were no longer in the mood for fun. However, the lubricant had dripped
 from their glistening bodies into the central cog, allowing it to spin far faster than it was designed to, and this
 likely combined with other factors--their relative weight distribution, the slight incline of the ground--caused
 their motion to become self-sustaining, and the centrifugal force built upon itself until they became a blurry,
 screaming disk of human suffering. Then they began to fly off like cannon balls

 Martin Duckworth was the first to go, causing significant structural damage to our greenhouse. Lisa Aurelio
 shattered a line of ceramic garden gnomes, and Ethan Green slammed into our Audi Q7 so hard it had to be
 written off--as, tragically, did he. Several other children left what looked like gingerbread man indentations in
 the siding of our home. It was terrifying.
 When the wheel finally came to a stop, there was only one child aboard. As luck would have it, it was our own
 beloved Crispin, huddled in the center of the merry-go-round, weeping. My wife ran to him and hugged him
 with all the might of a relieved, traumatized parent. A little too hard, as it turned out. Lubricated as he was, he
 shot from her arms like a wet bar of soap, up fifteen feet in the air, landed on the trampoline, and then soared,
 in a half-gainer, over the hedge, into the wood chipper.
 Since then, I've asked myself a thousand times, is there anything I could have done differently? But in the end,
 no actuary table could have predicted this bloodbath. I can only conclude that this was an act of God. And
 that, to me, is truly terrifying. Because we're not covered for that.
novelty-gift-ideas:

Passion Lubes

novelty-gift-ideas: Passion Lubes

Animals, Apparently, and Birthday: Based Lubricant, 5 5 Drum Passion Lubes 3,051 customer reviews 78 answered questions About the product The Ultimate Lube Keg .Best Value Lube Pump Included xxBackyard Carnival of Death By James O. Thach on February 27, 2014 Size: 55 Gallon I'm a risk analyst for a major insurance firm, so when my wife and I were planning a birthday party for our seven-year-old, Crispin, my mind naturally turned to liabilities. We'd settled on the theme of a "backyard carnival", complete with a swing set, a trampoline, merry-go-round, and a giant Slip n Slide. So I carefully inspected the equipment for safety. It all seemed sound We have a home on a bluff overlooking the ocean. As it happened, on the day of the party our neighbors were trimming their fichus trees. We heard the sound of their wood chipper buzzing occasionally from the other side of our tall hedge. It was a little irritating, but not disruptive The party started off wonderfully. A clown we'd hired made balloon animals, Crispin eagerly opened his presents, and all the children enjoyed cake and fruit punch. The weather was mild, the skies clear. It seemed a perfect day. Then we brought out the Slip n Slide. The problem with water slides is what we in the trade call "distributed water deficiency zones", or in layman's terms, dry spots. If a child hits one of these, it can put the brakes on the fun, and send them sliding down a path of medical claims--contusions, concussions, lacerations, abrasions, whiplash, back rash, and disc impaction. And that's just for starters. From there, it's a slippery slope toward major litigation To avoid even the remote possibility of such injuries, I invested in this 55 gallon drum of water soluble personal lubricant--the idea being that the children could enjoy the slide in complete safety, then wash off in the hose before their parents came to retrieve them. With that in mind, I dipped each child into the vat before allowing them to cue up for the slide. The Slip n Slide itself performed admirably, as did the lubricant. That, in fact, was the problem. Due to the slight downhill gradient of our yard, the children built up so much speed that they skidded across the lawn and into a retaining wall at the other end of our property, with sufficient force that I had to put an end to the activity I endeavored to roll up the mat--no easy task, as the lawn surrounding the slide was itself now lubricated, and I struggled to maintain my footing. When I looked up from my labor, I grasped for the first time the scope of the liabilities I had unleashed-a horde of extremely well-lubricated seven-year-olds, hyped up on sugar and desperate for fun. I saw young Eliza Gimmelman climb onto the trampoline. She began jumping, but the pad soon became so slick that she lost all control. Her wild flailing unfortunately fell into harmonic synchronization with the motion of the springs, propelling her ever higher, until she soared above the trampoline's safety enclosure, over the hedge and into the neighbor's yard. There came a ghastly grinding sound, and I could tell from the crimson plume that followed, it would be a total loss Twins Jeremy and Mason Lafferty were on the swing set. Having attained the swings' full range of motion, they were apparently having difficulty holding on. At that point, the swings became human catapults. Mason separated on the backswing, arcing over the roof of our home toward the street beyond. I surmised from the screeching tires, car horns and screams of horror that he was also unrecoverable. A terrified Jeremy soon lost his grip as well, sailing forward over the bluff, and plummeting 300 feet down into the ice-cold, shark-infested waters of the San Francisco Bay. An open claim, but not promising The rest of the children were clinging to the merry-go-round. Having just witnessed the violent deaths of at least two of their playmates, they were no longer in the mood for fun. However, the lubricant had dripped from their glistening bodies into the central cog, allowing it to spin far faster than it was designed to, and this likely combined with other factors--their relative weight distribution, the slight incline of the ground--caused their motion to become self-sustaining, and the centrifugal force built upon itself until they became a blurry, screaming disk of human suffering. Then they began to fly off like cannon balls Martin Duckworth was the first to go, causing significant structural damage to our greenhouse. Lisa Aurelio shattered a line of ceramic garden gnomes, and Ethan Green slammed into our Audi Q7 so hard it had to be written off--as, tragically, did he. Several other children left what looked like gingerbread man indentations in the siding of our home. It was terrifying. When the wheel finally came to a stop, there was only one child aboard. As luck would have it, it was our own beloved Crispin, huddled in the center of the merry-go-round, weeping. My wife ran to him and hugged him with all the might of a relieved, traumatized parent. A little too hard, as it turned out. Lubricated as he was, he shot from her arms like a wet bar of soap, up fifteen feet in the air, landed on the trampoline, and then soared, in a half-gainer, over the hedge, into the wood chipper. Since then, I've asked myself a thousand times, is there anything I could have done differently? But in the end, no actuary table could have predicted this bloodbath. I can only conclude that this was an act of God. And that, to me, is truly terrifying. Because we're not covered for that. novelty-gift-ideas: Passion Lubes
Animals, Apparently, and Birthday: Based Lubricant, 5
 5
 Drum Passion Lubes
 3,051 customer reviews 78 answered questions
 About the product
 The Ultimate Lube Keg
 .Best Value
 Lube Pump Included

 xxBackyard Carnival of Death
 By James O. Thach on February 27, 2014
 Size: 55 Gallon
 I'm a risk analyst for a major insurance firm, so when my wife and I were planning a birthday party for our
 seven-year-old, Crispin, my mind naturally turned to liabilities. We'd settled on the theme of a "backyard
 carnival", complete with a swing set, a trampoline, merry-go-round, and a giant Slip n Slide. So I carefully
 inspected the equipment for safety. It all seemed sound
 We have a home on a bluff overlooking the ocean. As it happened, on the day of the party our neighbors were
 trimming their fichus trees. We heard the sound of their wood chipper buzzing occasionally from the other
 side of our tall hedge. It was a little irritating, but not disruptive
 The party started off wonderfully. A clown we'd hired made balloon animals, Crispin eagerly opened his
 presents, and all the children enjoyed cake and fruit punch. The weather was mild, the skies clear. It seemed a
 perfect day.
 Then we brought out the Slip n Slide.
 The problem with water slides is what we in the trade call "distributed water deficiency zones", or in layman's
 terms, dry spots. If a child hits one of these, it can put the brakes on the fun, and send them sliding down a
 path of medical claims--contusions, concussions, lacerations, abrasions, whiplash, back rash, and disc
 impaction. And that's just for starters. From there, it's a slippery slope toward major litigation
 To avoid even the remote possibility of such injuries, I invested in this 55 gallon drum of water soluble
 personal lubricant--the idea being that the children could enjoy the slide in complete safety, then wash off in
 the hose before their parents came to retrieve them. With that in mind, I dipped each child into the vat before
 allowing them to cue up for the slide.

 The Slip n Slide itself performed admirably, as did the lubricant. That, in fact, was the problem. Due to the
 slight downhill gradient of our yard, the children built up so much speed that they skidded across the lawn and
 into a retaining wall at the other end of our property, with sufficient force that I had to put an end to the
 activity
 I endeavored to roll up the mat--no easy task, as the lawn surrounding the slide was itself now lubricated, and
 I struggled to maintain my footing. When I looked up from my labor, I grasped for the first time the scope of
 the liabilities I had unleashed-a horde of extremely well-lubricated seven-year-olds, hyped up on sugar and
 desperate for fun.
 I saw young Eliza Gimmelman climb onto the trampoline. She began jumping, but the pad soon became so
 slick that she lost all control. Her wild flailing unfortunately fell into harmonic synchronization with the
 motion of the springs, propelling her ever higher, until she soared above the trampoline's safety enclosure,
 over the hedge and into the neighbor's yard. There came a ghastly grinding sound, and I could tell from the
 crimson plume that followed, it would be a total loss
 Twins Jeremy and Mason Lafferty were on the swing set. Having attained the swings' full range of motion,
 they were apparently having difficulty holding on. At that point, the swings became human catapults. Mason
 separated on the backswing, arcing over the roof of our home toward the street beyond. I surmised from the
 screeching tires, car horns and screams of horror that he was also unrecoverable. A terrified Jeremy soon lost
 his grip as well, sailing forward over the bluff, and plummeting 300 feet down into the ice-cold, shark-infested
 waters of the San Francisco Bay. An open claim, but not promising
 The rest of the children were clinging to the merry-go-round. Having just witnessed the violent deaths of at
 least two of their playmates, they were no longer in the mood for fun. However, the lubricant had dripped
 from their glistening bodies into the central cog, allowing it to spin far faster than it was designed to, and this
 likely combined with other factors--their relative weight distribution, the slight incline of the ground--caused
 their motion to become self-sustaining, and the centrifugal force built upon itself until they became a blurry,
 screaming disk of human suffering. Then they began to fly off like cannon balls

 Martin Duckworth was the first to go, causing significant structural damage to our greenhouse. Lisa Aurelio
 shattered a line of ceramic garden gnomes, and Ethan Green slammed into our Audi Q7 so hard it had to be
 written off--as, tragically, did he. Several other children left what looked like gingerbread man indentations in
 the siding of our home. It was terrifying.
 When the wheel finally came to a stop, there was only one child aboard. As luck would have it, it was our own
 beloved Crispin, huddled in the center of the merry-go-round, weeping. My wife ran to him and hugged him
 with all the might of a relieved, traumatized parent. A little too hard, as it turned out. Lubricated as he was, he
 shot from her arms like a wet bar of soap, up fifteen feet in the air, landed on the trampoline, and then soared,
 in a half-gainer, over the hedge, into the wood chipper.
 Since then, I've asked myself a thousand times, is there anything I could have done differently? But in the end,
 no actuary table could have predicted this bloodbath. I can only conclude that this was an act of God. And
 that, to me, is truly terrifying. Because we're not covered for that.
novelty-gift-ideas:

Passion Lubes

novelty-gift-ideas: Passion Lubes

Animals, Apparently, and Birthday: Based Lubricant, 5 5 Drum Passion Lubes 3,051 customer reviews 78 answered questions About the product The Ultimate Lube Keg .Best Value Lube Pump Included xxBackyard Carnival of Death By James O. Thach on February 27, 2014 Size: 55 Gallon I'm a risk analyst for a major insurance firm, so when my wife and I were planning a birthday party for our seven-year-old, Crispin, my mind naturally turned to liabilities. We'd settled on the theme of a "backyard carnival", complete with a swing set, a trampoline, merry-go-round, and a giant Slip n Slide. So I carefully inspected the equipment for safety. It all seemed sound We have a home on a bluff overlooking the ocean. As it happened, on the day of the party our neighbors were trimming their fichus trees. We heard the sound of their wood chipper buzzing occasionally from the other side of our tall hedge. It was a little irritating, but not disruptive The party started off wonderfully. A clown we'd hired made balloon animals, Crispin eagerly opened his presents, and all the children enjoyed cake and fruit punch. The weather was mild, the skies clear. It seemed a perfect day. Then we brought out the Slip n Slide. The problem with water slides is what we in the trade call "distributed water deficiency zones", or in layman's terms, dry spots. If a child hits one of these, it can put the brakes on the fun, and send them sliding down a path of medical claims--contusions, concussions, lacerations, abrasions, whiplash, back rash, and disc impaction. And that's just for starters. From there, it's a slippery slope toward major litigation To avoid even the remote possibility of such injuries, I invested in this 55 gallon drum of water soluble personal lubricant--the idea being that the children could enjoy the slide in complete safety, then wash off in the hose before their parents came to retrieve them. With that in mind, I dipped each child into the vat before allowing them to cue up for the slide. The Slip n Slide itself performed admirably, as did the lubricant. That, in fact, was the problem. Due to the slight downhill gradient of our yard, the children built up so much speed that they skidded across the lawn and into a retaining wall at the other end of our property, with sufficient force that I had to put an end to the activity I endeavored to roll up the mat--no easy task, as the lawn surrounding the slide was itself now lubricated, and I struggled to maintain my footing. When I looked up from my labor, I grasped for the first time the scope of the liabilities I had unleashed-a horde of extremely well-lubricated seven-year-olds, hyped up on sugar and desperate for fun. I saw young Eliza Gimmelman climb onto the trampoline. She began jumping, but the pad soon became so slick that she lost all control. Her wild flailing unfortunately fell into harmonic synchronization with the motion of the springs, propelling her ever higher, until she soared above the trampoline's safety enclosure, over the hedge and into the neighbor's yard. There came a ghastly grinding sound, and I could tell from the crimson plume that followed, it would be a total loss Twins Jeremy and Mason Lafferty were on the swing set. Having attained the swings' full range of motion, they were apparently having difficulty holding on. At that point, the swings became human catapults. Mason separated on the backswing, arcing over the roof of our home toward the street beyond. I surmised from the screeching tires, car horns and screams of horror that he was also unrecoverable. A terrified Jeremy soon lost his grip as well, sailing forward over the bluff, and plummeting 300 feet down into the ice-cold, shark-infested waters of the San Francisco Bay. An open claim, but not promising The rest of the children were clinging to the merry-go-round. Having just witnessed the violent deaths of at least two of their playmates, they were no longer in the mood for fun. However, the lubricant had dripped from their glistening bodies into the central cog, allowing it to spin far faster than it was designed to, and this likely combined with other factors--their relative weight distribution, the slight incline of the ground--caused their motion to become self-sustaining, and the centrifugal force built upon itself until they became a blurry, screaming disk of human suffering. Then they began to fly off like cannon balls Martin Duckworth was the first to go, causing significant structural damage to our greenhouse. Lisa Aurelio shattered a line of ceramic garden gnomes, and Ethan Green slammed into our Audi Q7 so hard it had to be written off--as, tragically, did he. Several other children left what looked like gingerbread man indentations in the siding of our home. It was terrifying. When the wheel finally came to a stop, there was only one child aboard. As luck would have it, it was our own beloved Crispin, huddled in the center of the merry-go-round, weeping. My wife ran to him and hugged him with all the might of a relieved, traumatized parent. A little too hard, as it turned out. Lubricated as he was, he shot from her arms like a wet bar of soap, up fifteen feet in the air, landed on the trampoline, and then soared, in a half-gainer, over the hedge, into the wood chipper. Since then, I've asked myself a thousand times, is there anything I could have done differently? But in the end, no actuary table could have predicted this bloodbath. I can only conclude that this was an act of God. And that, to me, is truly terrifying. Because we're not covered for that. <p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.tumblr.com/post/166887400578/passion-lubes" class="tumblr_blog">novelty-gift-ideas</a>:</p><blockquote><p><b><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.com/passion-lubes/"> Passion Lubes </a></b><br/></p></blockquote>
Animals, Apparently, and Birthday: Based Lubricant, 5
 5
 Drum Passion Lubes
 3,051 customer reviews 78 answered questions
 About the product
 The Ultimate Lube Keg
 .Best Value
 Lube Pump Included

 xxBackyard Carnival of Death
 By James O. Thach on February 27, 2014
 Size: 55 Gallon
 I'm a risk analyst for a major insurance firm, so when my wife and I were planning a birthday party for our
 seven-year-old, Crispin, my mind naturally turned to liabilities. We'd settled on the theme of a "backyard
 carnival", complete with a swing set, a trampoline, merry-go-round, and a giant Slip n Slide. So I carefully
 inspected the equipment for safety. It all seemed sound
 We have a home on a bluff overlooking the ocean. As it happened, on the day of the party our neighbors were
 trimming their fichus trees. We heard the sound of their wood chipper buzzing occasionally from the other
 side of our tall hedge. It was a little irritating, but not disruptive
 The party started off wonderfully. A clown we'd hired made balloon animals, Crispin eagerly opened his
 presents, and all the children enjoyed cake and fruit punch. The weather was mild, the skies clear. It seemed a
 perfect day.
 Then we brought out the Slip n Slide.
 The problem with water slides is what we in the trade call "distributed water deficiency zones", or in layman's
 terms, dry spots. If a child hits one of these, it can put the brakes on the fun, and send them sliding down a
 path of medical claims--contusions, concussions, lacerations, abrasions, whiplash, back rash, and disc
 impaction. And that's just for starters. From there, it's a slippery slope toward major litigation
 To avoid even the remote possibility of such injuries, I invested in this 55 gallon drum of water soluble
 personal lubricant--the idea being that the children could enjoy the slide in complete safety, then wash off in
 the hose before their parents came to retrieve them. With that in mind, I dipped each child into the vat before
 allowing them to cue up for the slide.

 The Slip n Slide itself performed admirably, as did the lubricant. That, in fact, was the problem. Due to the
 slight downhill gradient of our yard, the children built up so much speed that they skidded across the lawn and
 into a retaining wall at the other end of our property, with sufficient force that I had to put an end to the
 activity
 I endeavored to roll up the mat--no easy task, as the lawn surrounding the slide was itself now lubricated, and
 I struggled to maintain my footing. When I looked up from my labor, I grasped for the first time the scope of
 the liabilities I had unleashed-a horde of extremely well-lubricated seven-year-olds, hyped up on sugar and
 desperate for fun.
 I saw young Eliza Gimmelman climb onto the trampoline. She began jumping, but the pad soon became so
 slick that she lost all control. Her wild flailing unfortunately fell into harmonic synchronization with the
 motion of the springs, propelling her ever higher, until she soared above the trampoline's safety enclosure,
 over the hedge and into the neighbor's yard. There came a ghastly grinding sound, and I could tell from the
 crimson plume that followed, it would be a total loss
 Twins Jeremy and Mason Lafferty were on the swing set. Having attained the swings' full range of motion,
 they were apparently having difficulty holding on. At that point, the swings became human catapults. Mason
 separated on the backswing, arcing over the roof of our home toward the street beyond. I surmised from the
 screeching tires, car horns and screams of horror that he was also unrecoverable. A terrified Jeremy soon lost
 his grip as well, sailing forward over the bluff, and plummeting 300 feet down into the ice-cold, shark-infested
 waters of the San Francisco Bay. An open claim, but not promising
 The rest of the children were clinging to the merry-go-round. Having just witnessed the violent deaths of at
 least two of their playmates, they were no longer in the mood for fun. However, the lubricant had dripped
 from their glistening bodies into the central cog, allowing it to spin far faster than it was designed to, and this
 likely combined with other factors--their relative weight distribution, the slight incline of the ground--caused
 their motion to become self-sustaining, and the centrifugal force built upon itself until they became a blurry,
 screaming disk of human suffering. Then they began to fly off like cannon balls

 Martin Duckworth was the first to go, causing significant structural damage to our greenhouse. Lisa Aurelio
 shattered a line of ceramic garden gnomes, and Ethan Green slammed into our Audi Q7 so hard it had to be
 written off--as, tragically, did he. Several other children left what looked like gingerbread man indentations in
 the siding of our home. It was terrifying.
 When the wheel finally came to a stop, there was only one child aboard. As luck would have it, it was our own
 beloved Crispin, huddled in the center of the merry-go-round, weeping. My wife ran to him and hugged him
 with all the might of a relieved, traumatized parent. A little too hard, as it turned out. Lubricated as he was, he
 shot from her arms like a wet bar of soap, up fifteen feet in the air, landed on the trampoline, and then soared,
 in a half-gainer, over the hedge, into the wood chipper.
 Since then, I've asked myself a thousand times, is there anything I could have done differently? But in the end,
 no actuary table could have predicted this bloodbath. I can only conclude that this was an act of God. And
 that, to me, is truly terrifying. Because we're not covered for that.
<p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.tumblr.com/post/166887400578/passion-lubes" class="tumblr_blog">novelty-gift-ideas</a>:</p><blockquote><p><b><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.com/passion-lubes/">

Passion Lubes

</a></b><br/></p></blockquote>

novelty-gift-ideas: Passion Lubes

Animals, Apparently, and Birthday: Based Lubricant, 5 5 Drum Passion Lubes 3,051 customer reviews 78 answered questions About the product The Ultimate Lube Keg .Best Value Lube Pump Included xxBackyard Carnival of Death By James O. Thach on February 27, 2014 Size: 55 Gallon I'm a risk analyst for a major insurance firm, so when my wife and I were planning a birthday party for our seven-year-old, Crispin, my mind naturally turned to liabilities. We'd settled on the theme of a "backyard carnival", complete with a swing set, a trampoline, merry-go-round, and a giant Slip n Slide. So I carefully inspected the equipment for safety. It all seemed sound We have a home on a bluff overlooking the ocean. As it happened, on the day of the party our neighbors were trimming their fichus trees. We heard the sound of their wood chipper buzzing occasionally from the other side of our tall hedge. It was a little irritating, but not disruptive The party started off wonderfully. A clown we'd hired made balloon animals, Crispin eagerly opened his presents, and all the children enjoyed cake and fruit punch. The weather was mild, the skies clear. It seemed a perfect day. Then we brought out the Slip n Slide. The problem with water slides is what we in the trade call "distributed water deficiency zones", or in layman's terms, dry spots. If a child hits one of these, it can put the brakes on the fun, and send them sliding down a path of medical claims--contusions, concussions, lacerations, abrasions, whiplash, back rash, and disc impaction. And that's just for starters. From there, it's a slippery slope toward major litigation To avoid even the remote possibility of such injuries, I invested in this 55 gallon drum of water soluble personal lubricant--the idea being that the children could enjoy the slide in complete safety, then wash off in the hose before their parents came to retrieve them. With that in mind, I dipped each child into the vat before allowing them to cue up for the slide. The Slip n Slide itself performed admirably, as did the lubricant. That, in fact, was the problem. Due to the slight downhill gradient of our yard, the children built up so much speed that they skidded across the lawn and into a retaining wall at the other end of our property, with sufficient force that I had to put an end to the activity I endeavored to roll up the mat--no easy task, as the lawn surrounding the slide was itself now lubricated, and I struggled to maintain my footing. When I looked up from my labor, I grasped for the first time the scope of the liabilities I had unleashed-a horde of extremely well-lubricated seven-year-olds, hyped up on sugar and desperate for fun. I saw young Eliza Gimmelman climb onto the trampoline. She began jumping, but the pad soon became so slick that she lost all control. Her wild flailing unfortunately fell into harmonic synchronization with the motion of the springs, propelling her ever higher, until she soared above the trampoline's safety enclosure, over the hedge and into the neighbor's yard. There came a ghastly grinding sound, and I could tell from the crimson plume that followed, it would be a total loss Twins Jeremy and Mason Lafferty were on the swing set. Having attained the swings' full range of motion, they were apparently having difficulty holding on. At that point, the swings became human catapults. Mason separated on the backswing, arcing over the roof of our home toward the street beyond. I surmised from the screeching tires, car horns and screams of horror that he was also unrecoverable. A terrified Jeremy soon lost his grip as well, sailing forward over the bluff, and plummeting 300 feet down into the ice-cold, shark-infested waters of the San Francisco Bay. An open claim, but not promising The rest of the children were clinging to the merry-go-round. Having just witnessed the violent deaths of at least two of their playmates, they were no longer in the mood for fun. However, the lubricant had dripped from their glistening bodies into the central cog, allowing it to spin far faster than it was designed to, and this likely combined with other factors--their relative weight distribution, the slight incline of the ground--caused their motion to become self-sustaining, and the centrifugal force built upon itself until they became a blurry, screaming disk of human suffering. Then they began to fly off like cannon balls Martin Duckworth was the first to go, causing significant structural damage to our greenhouse. Lisa Aurelio shattered a line of ceramic garden gnomes, and Ethan Green slammed into our Audi Q7 so hard it had to be written off--as, tragically, did he. Several other children left what looked like gingerbread man indentations in the siding of our home. It was terrifying. When the wheel finally came to a stop, there was only one child aboard. As luck would have it, it was our own beloved Crispin, huddled in the center of the merry-go-round, weeping. My wife ran to him and hugged him with all the might of a relieved, traumatized parent. A little too hard, as it turned out. Lubricated as he was, he shot from her arms like a wet bar of soap, up fifteen feet in the air, landed on the trampoline, and then soared, in a half-gainer, over the hedge, into the wood chipper. Since then, I've asked myself a thousand times, is there anything I could have done differently? But in the end, no actuary table could have predicted this bloodbath. I can only conclude that this was an act of God. And that, to me, is truly terrifying. Because we're not covered for that. novelty-gift-ideas: Passion Lubes
Animals, Apparently, and Birthday: Based Lubricant, 5
 5
 Drum Passion Lubes
 3,051 customer reviews 78 answered questions
 About the product
 The Ultimate Lube Keg
 .Best Value
 Lube Pump Included

 xxBackyard Carnival of Death
 By James O. Thach on February 27, 2014
 Size: 55 Gallon
 I'm a risk analyst for a major insurance firm, so when my wife and I were planning a birthday party for our
 seven-year-old, Crispin, my mind naturally turned to liabilities. We'd settled on the theme of a "backyard
 carnival", complete with a swing set, a trampoline, merry-go-round, and a giant Slip n Slide. So I carefully
 inspected the equipment for safety. It all seemed sound
 We have a home on a bluff overlooking the ocean. As it happened, on the day of the party our neighbors were
 trimming their fichus trees. We heard the sound of their wood chipper buzzing occasionally from the other
 side of our tall hedge. It was a little irritating, but not disruptive
 The party started off wonderfully. A clown we'd hired made balloon animals, Crispin eagerly opened his
 presents, and all the children enjoyed cake and fruit punch. The weather was mild, the skies clear. It seemed a
 perfect day.
 Then we brought out the Slip n Slide.
 The problem with water slides is what we in the trade call "distributed water deficiency zones", or in layman's
 terms, dry spots. If a child hits one of these, it can put the brakes on the fun, and send them sliding down a
 path of medical claims--contusions, concussions, lacerations, abrasions, whiplash, back rash, and disc
 impaction. And that's just for starters. From there, it's a slippery slope toward major litigation
 To avoid even the remote possibility of such injuries, I invested in this 55 gallon drum of water soluble
 personal lubricant--the idea being that the children could enjoy the slide in complete safety, then wash off in
 the hose before their parents came to retrieve them. With that in mind, I dipped each child into the vat before
 allowing them to cue up for the slide.

 The Slip n Slide itself performed admirably, as did the lubricant. That, in fact, was the problem. Due to the
 slight downhill gradient of our yard, the children built up so much speed that they skidded across the lawn and
 into a retaining wall at the other end of our property, with sufficient force that I had to put an end to the
 activity
 I endeavored to roll up the mat--no easy task, as the lawn surrounding the slide was itself now lubricated, and
 I struggled to maintain my footing. When I looked up from my labor, I grasped for the first time the scope of
 the liabilities I had unleashed-a horde of extremely well-lubricated seven-year-olds, hyped up on sugar and
 desperate for fun.
 I saw young Eliza Gimmelman climb onto the trampoline. She began jumping, but the pad soon became so
 slick that she lost all control. Her wild flailing unfortunately fell into harmonic synchronization with the
 motion of the springs, propelling her ever higher, until she soared above the trampoline's safety enclosure,
 over the hedge and into the neighbor's yard. There came a ghastly grinding sound, and I could tell from the
 crimson plume that followed, it would be a total loss
 Twins Jeremy and Mason Lafferty were on the swing set. Having attained the swings' full range of motion,
 they were apparently having difficulty holding on. At that point, the swings became human catapults. Mason
 separated on the backswing, arcing over the roof of our home toward the street beyond. I surmised from the
 screeching tires, car horns and screams of horror that he was also unrecoverable. A terrified Jeremy soon lost
 his grip as well, sailing forward over the bluff, and plummeting 300 feet down into the ice-cold, shark-infested
 waters of the San Francisco Bay. An open claim, but not promising
 The rest of the children were clinging to the merry-go-round. Having just witnessed the violent deaths of at
 least two of their playmates, they were no longer in the mood for fun. However, the lubricant had dripped
 from their glistening bodies into the central cog, allowing it to spin far faster than it was designed to, and this
 likely combined with other factors--their relative weight distribution, the slight incline of the ground--caused
 their motion to become self-sustaining, and the centrifugal force built upon itself until they became a blurry,
 screaming disk of human suffering. Then they began to fly off like cannon balls

 Martin Duckworth was the first to go, causing significant structural damage to our greenhouse. Lisa Aurelio
 shattered a line of ceramic garden gnomes, and Ethan Green slammed into our Audi Q7 so hard it had to be
 written off--as, tragically, did he. Several other children left what looked like gingerbread man indentations in
 the siding of our home. It was terrifying.
 When the wheel finally came to a stop, there was only one child aboard. As luck would have it, it was our own
 beloved Crispin, huddled in the center of the merry-go-round, weeping. My wife ran to him and hugged him
 with all the might of a relieved, traumatized parent. A little too hard, as it turned out. Lubricated as he was, he
 shot from her arms like a wet bar of soap, up fifteen feet in the air, landed on the trampoline, and then soared,
 in a half-gainer, over the hedge, into the wood chipper.
 Since then, I've asked myself a thousand times, is there anything I could have done differently? But in the end,
 no actuary table could have predicted this bloodbath. I can only conclude that this was an act of God. And
 that, to me, is truly terrifying. Because we're not covered for that.
novelty-gift-ideas:

Passion Lubes

novelty-gift-ideas: Passion Lubes

Animals, Apparently, and Birthday: Based Lubricant, 5 5 Drum Passion Lubes 3,051 customer reviews 78 answered questions About the product The Ultimate Lube Keg .Best Value Lube Pump Included xxBackyard Carnival of Death By James O. Thach on February 27, 2014 Size: 55 Gallon I'm a risk analyst for a major insurance firm, so when my wife and I were planning a birthday party for our seven-year-old, Crispin, my mind naturally turned to liabilities. We'd settled on the theme of a "backyard carnival", complete with a swing set, a trampoline, merry-go-round, and a giant Slip n Slide. So I carefully inspected the equipment for safety. It all seemed sound We have a home on a bluff overlooking the ocean. As it happened, on the day of the party our neighbors were trimming their fichus trees. We heard the sound of their wood chipper buzzing occasionally from the other side of our tall hedge. It was a little irritating, but not disruptive The party started off wonderfully. A clown we'd hired made balloon animals, Crispin eagerly opened his presents, and all the children enjoyed cake and fruit punch. The weather was mild, the skies clear. It seemed a perfect day. Then we brought out the Slip n Slide. The problem with water slides is what we in the trade call "distributed water deficiency zones", or in layman's terms, dry spots. If a child hits one of these, it can put the brakes on the fun, and send them sliding down a path of medical claims--contusions, concussions, lacerations, abrasions, whiplash, back rash, and disc impaction. And that's just for starters. From there, it's a slippery slope toward major litigation To avoid even the remote possibility of such injuries, I invested in this 55 gallon drum of water soluble personal lubricant--the idea being that the children could enjoy the slide in complete safety, then wash off in the hose before their parents came to retrieve them. With that in mind, I dipped each child into the vat before allowing them to cue up for the slide. The Slip n Slide itself performed admirably, as did the lubricant. That, in fact, was the problem. Due to the slight downhill gradient of our yard, the children built up so much speed that they skidded across the lawn and into a retaining wall at the other end of our property, with sufficient force that I had to put an end to the activity I endeavored to roll up the mat--no easy task, as the lawn surrounding the slide was itself now lubricated, and I struggled to maintain my footing. When I looked up from my labor, I grasped for the first time the scope of the liabilities I had unleashed-a horde of extremely well-lubricated seven-year-olds, hyped up on sugar and desperate for fun. I saw young Eliza Gimmelman climb onto the trampoline. She began jumping, but the pad soon became so slick that she lost all control. Her wild flailing unfortunately fell into harmonic synchronization with the motion of the springs, propelling her ever higher, until she soared above the trampoline's safety enclosure, over the hedge and into the neighbor's yard. There came a ghastly grinding sound, and I could tell from the crimson plume that followed, it would be a total loss Twins Jeremy and Mason Lafferty were on the swing set. Having attained the swings' full range of motion, they were apparently having difficulty holding on. At that point, the swings became human catapults. Mason separated on the backswing, arcing over the roof of our home toward the street beyond. I surmised from the screeching tires, car horns and screams of horror that he was also unrecoverable. A terrified Jeremy soon lost his grip as well, sailing forward over the bluff, and plummeting 300 feet down into the ice-cold, shark-infested waters of the San Francisco Bay. An open claim, but not promising The rest of the children were clinging to the merry-go-round. Having just witnessed the violent deaths of at least two of their playmates, they were no longer in the mood for fun. However, the lubricant had dripped from their glistening bodies into the central cog, allowing it to spin far faster than it was designed to, and this likely combined with other factors--their relative weight distribution, the slight incline of the ground--caused their motion to become self-sustaining, and the centrifugal force built upon itself until they became a blurry, screaming disk of human suffering. Then they began to fly off like cannon balls Martin Duckworth was the first to go, causing significant structural damage to our greenhouse. Lisa Aurelio shattered a line of ceramic garden gnomes, and Ethan Green slammed into our Audi Q7 so hard it had to be written off--as, tragically, did he. Several other children left what looked like gingerbread man indentations in the siding of our home. It was terrifying. When the wheel finally came to a stop, there was only one child aboard. As luck would have it, it was our own beloved Crispin, huddled in the center of the merry-go-round, weeping. My wife ran to him and hugged him with all the might of a relieved, traumatized parent. A little too hard, as it turned out. Lubricated as he was, he shot from her arms like a wet bar of soap, up fifteen feet in the air, landed on the trampoline, and then soared, in a half-gainer, over the hedge, into the wood chipper. Since then, I've asked myself a thousand times, is there anything I could have done differently? But in the end, no actuary table could have predicted this bloodbath. I can only conclude that this was an act of God. And that, to me, is truly terrifying. Because we're not covered for that. novelty-gift-ideas: Passion Lubes
Animals, Apparently, and Birthday: Based Lubricant, 5
 5
 Drum Passion Lubes
 3,051 customer reviews 78 answered questions
 About the product
 The Ultimate Lube Keg
 .Best Value
 Lube Pump Included

 xxBackyard Carnival of Death
 By James O. Thach on February 27, 2014
 Size: 55 Gallon
 I'm a risk analyst for a major insurance firm, so when my wife and I were planning a birthday party for our
 seven-year-old, Crispin, my mind naturally turned to liabilities. We'd settled on the theme of a "backyard
 carnival", complete with a swing set, a trampoline, merry-go-round, and a giant Slip n Slide. So I carefully
 inspected the equipment for safety. It all seemed sound
 We have a home on a bluff overlooking the ocean. As it happened, on the day of the party our neighbors were
 trimming their fichus trees. We heard the sound of their wood chipper buzzing occasionally from the other
 side of our tall hedge. It was a little irritating, but not disruptive
 The party started off wonderfully. A clown we'd hired made balloon animals, Crispin eagerly opened his
 presents, and all the children enjoyed cake and fruit punch. The weather was mild, the skies clear. It seemed a
 perfect day.
 Then we brought out the Slip n Slide.
 The problem with water slides is what we in the trade call "distributed water deficiency zones", or in layman's
 terms, dry spots. If a child hits one of these, it can put the brakes on the fun, and send them sliding down a
 path of medical claims--contusions, concussions, lacerations, abrasions, whiplash, back rash, and disc
 impaction. And that's just for starters. From there, it's a slippery slope toward major litigation
 To avoid even the remote possibility of such injuries, I invested in this 55 gallon drum of water soluble
 personal lubricant--the idea being that the children could enjoy the slide in complete safety, then wash off in
 the hose before their parents came to retrieve them. With that in mind, I dipped each child into the vat before
 allowing them to cue up for the slide.

 The Slip n Slide itself performed admirably, as did the lubricant. That, in fact, was the problem. Due to the
 slight downhill gradient of our yard, the children built up so much speed that they skidded across the lawn and
 into a retaining wall at the other end of our property, with sufficient force that I had to put an end to the
 activity
 I endeavored to roll up the mat--no easy task, as the lawn surrounding the slide was itself now lubricated, and
 I struggled to maintain my footing. When I looked up from my labor, I grasped for the first time the scope of
 the liabilities I had unleashed-a horde of extremely well-lubricated seven-year-olds, hyped up on sugar and
 desperate for fun.
 I saw young Eliza Gimmelman climb onto the trampoline. She began jumping, but the pad soon became so
 slick that she lost all control. Her wild flailing unfortunately fell into harmonic synchronization with the
 motion of the springs, propelling her ever higher, until she soared above the trampoline's safety enclosure,
 over the hedge and into the neighbor's yard. There came a ghastly grinding sound, and I could tell from the
 crimson plume that followed, it would be a total loss
 Twins Jeremy and Mason Lafferty were on the swing set. Having attained the swings' full range of motion,
 they were apparently having difficulty holding on. At that point, the swings became human catapults. Mason
 separated on the backswing, arcing over the roof of our home toward the street beyond. I surmised from the
 screeching tires, car horns and screams of horror that he was also unrecoverable. A terrified Jeremy soon lost
 his grip as well, sailing forward over the bluff, and plummeting 300 feet down into the ice-cold, shark-infested
 waters of the San Francisco Bay. An open claim, but not promising
 The rest of the children were clinging to the merry-go-round. Having just witnessed the violent deaths of at
 least two of their playmates, they were no longer in the mood for fun. However, the lubricant had dripped
 from their glistening bodies into the central cog, allowing it to spin far faster than it was designed to, and this
 likely combined with other factors--their relative weight distribution, the slight incline of the ground--caused
 their motion to become self-sustaining, and the centrifugal force built upon itself until they became a blurry,
 screaming disk of human suffering. Then they began to fly off like cannon balls

 Martin Duckworth was the first to go, causing significant structural damage to our greenhouse. Lisa Aurelio
 shattered a line of ceramic garden gnomes, and Ethan Green slammed into our Audi Q7 so hard it had to be
 written off--as, tragically, did he. Several other children left what looked like gingerbread man indentations in
 the siding of our home. It was terrifying.
 When the wheel finally came to a stop, there was only one child aboard. As luck would have it, it was our own
 beloved Crispin, huddled in the center of the merry-go-round, weeping. My wife ran to him and hugged him
 with all the might of a relieved, traumatized parent. A little too hard, as it turned out. Lubricated as he was, he
 shot from her arms like a wet bar of soap, up fifteen feet in the air, landed on the trampoline, and then soared,
 in a half-gainer, over the hedge, into the wood chipper.
 Since then, I've asked myself a thousand times, is there anything I could have done differently? But in the end,
 no actuary table could have predicted this bloodbath. I can only conclude that this was an act of God. And
 that, to me, is truly terrifying. Because we're not covered for that.
novelty-gift-ideas:

Passion Lubes

novelty-gift-ideas: Passion Lubes

Animals, Apparently, and Birthday: Based Lubricant, 5 5 Drum Passion Lubes 3,051 customer reviews 78 answered questions About the product The Ultimate Lube Keg .Best Value Lube Pump Included xxBackyard Carnival of Death By James O. Thach on February 27, 2014 Size: 55 Gallon I'm a risk analyst for a major insurance firm, so when my wife and I were planning a birthday party for our seven-year-old, Crispin, my mind naturally turned to liabilities. We'd settled on the theme of a "backyard carnival", complete with a swing set, a trampoline, merry-go-round, and a giant Slip n Slide. So I carefully inspected the equipment for safety. It all seemed sound We have a home on a bluff overlooking the ocean. As it happened, on the day of the party our neighbors were trimming their fichus trees. We heard the sound of their wood chipper buzzing occasionally from the other side of our tall hedge. It was a little irritating, but not disruptive The party started off wonderfully. A clown we'd hired made balloon animals, Crispin eagerly opened his presents, and all the children enjoyed cake and fruit punch. The weather was mild, the skies clear. It seemed a perfect day. Then we brought out the Slip n Slide. The problem with water slides is what we in the trade call "distributed water deficiency zones", or in layman's terms, dry spots. If a child hits one of these, it can put the brakes on the fun, and send them sliding down a path of medical claims--contusions, concussions, lacerations, abrasions, whiplash, back rash, and disc impaction. And that's just for starters. From there, it's a slippery slope toward major litigation To avoid even the remote possibility of such injuries, I invested in this 55 gallon drum of water soluble personal lubricant--the idea being that the children could enjoy the slide in complete safety, then wash off in the hose before their parents came to retrieve them. With that in mind, I dipped each child into the vat before allowing them to cue up for the slide. The Slip n Slide itself performed admirably, as did the lubricant. That, in fact, was the problem. Due to the slight downhill gradient of our yard, the children built up so much speed that they skidded across the lawn and into a retaining wall at the other end of our property, with sufficient force that I had to put an end to the activity I endeavored to roll up the mat--no easy task, as the lawn surrounding the slide was itself now lubricated, and I struggled to maintain my footing. When I looked up from my labor, I grasped for the first time the scope of the liabilities I had unleashed-a horde of extremely well-lubricated seven-year-olds, hyped up on sugar and desperate for fun. I saw young Eliza Gimmelman climb onto the trampoline. She began jumping, but the pad soon became so slick that she lost all control. Her wild flailing unfortunately fell into harmonic synchronization with the motion of the springs, propelling her ever higher, until she soared above the trampoline's safety enclosure, over the hedge and into the neighbor's yard. There came a ghastly grinding sound, and I could tell from the crimson plume that followed, it would be a total loss Twins Jeremy and Mason Lafferty were on the swing set. Having attained the swings' full range of motion, they were apparently having difficulty holding on. At that point, the swings became human catapults. Mason separated on the backswing, arcing over the roof of our home toward the street beyond. I surmised from the screeching tires, car horns and screams of horror that he was also unrecoverable. A terrified Jeremy soon lost his grip as well, sailing forward over the bluff, and plummeting 300 feet down into the ice-cold, shark-infested waters of the San Francisco Bay. An open claim, but not promising The rest of the children were clinging to the merry-go-round. Having just witnessed the violent deaths of at least two of their playmates, they were no longer in the mood for fun. However, the lubricant had dripped from their glistening bodies into the central cog, allowing it to spin far faster than it was designed to, and this likely combined with other factors--their relative weight distribution, the slight incline of the ground--caused their motion to become self-sustaining, and the centrifugal force built upon itself until they became a blurry, screaming disk of human suffering. Then they began to fly off like cannon balls Martin Duckworth was the first to go, causing significant structural damage to our greenhouse. Lisa Aurelio shattered a line of ceramic garden gnomes, and Ethan Green slammed into our Audi Q7 so hard it had to be written off--as, tragically, did he. Several other children left what looked like gingerbread man indentations in the siding of our home. It was terrifying. When the wheel finally came to a stop, there was only one child aboard. As luck would have it, it was our own beloved Crispin, huddled in the center of the merry-go-round, weeping. My wife ran to him and hugged him with all the might of a relieved, traumatized parent. A little too hard, as it turned out. Lubricated as he was, he shot from her arms like a wet bar of soap, up fifteen feet in the air, landed on the trampoline, and then soared, in a half-gainer, over the hedge, into the wood chipper. Since then, I've asked myself a thousand times, is there anything I could have done differently? But in the end, no actuary table could have predicted this bloodbath. I can only conclude that this was an act of God. And that, to me, is truly terrifying. Because we're not covered for that. <p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.tumblr.com/post/166887400578/passion-lubes" class="tumblr_blog">novelty-gift-ideas</a>:</p><blockquote><p><b><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.com/passion-lubes/"> Passion Lubes </a></b><br/></p></blockquote>
Animals, Apparently, and Birthday: Based Lubricant, 5
 5
 Drum Passion Lubes
 3,051 customer reviews 78 answered questions
 About the product
 The Ultimate Lube Keg
 .Best Value
 Lube Pump Included

 xxBackyard Carnival of Death
 By James O. Thach on February 27, 2014
 Size: 55 Gallon
 I'm a risk analyst for a major insurance firm, so when my wife and I were planning a birthday party for our
 seven-year-old, Crispin, my mind naturally turned to liabilities. We'd settled on the theme of a "backyard
 carnival", complete with a swing set, a trampoline, merry-go-round, and a giant Slip n Slide. So I carefully
 inspected the equipment for safety. It all seemed sound
 We have a home on a bluff overlooking the ocean. As it happened, on the day of the party our neighbors were
 trimming their fichus trees. We heard the sound of their wood chipper buzzing occasionally from the other
 side of our tall hedge. It was a little irritating, but not disruptive
 The party started off wonderfully. A clown we'd hired made balloon animals, Crispin eagerly opened his
 presents, and all the children enjoyed cake and fruit punch. The weather was mild, the skies clear. It seemed a
 perfect day.
 Then we brought out the Slip n Slide.
 The problem with water slides is what we in the trade call "distributed water deficiency zones", or in layman's
 terms, dry spots. If a child hits one of these, it can put the brakes on the fun, and send them sliding down a
 path of medical claims--contusions, concussions, lacerations, abrasions, whiplash, back rash, and disc
 impaction. And that's just for starters. From there, it's a slippery slope toward major litigation
 To avoid even the remote possibility of such injuries, I invested in this 55 gallon drum of water soluble
 personal lubricant--the idea being that the children could enjoy the slide in complete safety, then wash off in
 the hose before their parents came to retrieve them. With that in mind, I dipped each child into the vat before
 allowing them to cue up for the slide.

 The Slip n Slide itself performed admirably, as did the lubricant. That, in fact, was the problem. Due to the
 slight downhill gradient of our yard, the children built up so much speed that they skidded across the lawn and
 into a retaining wall at the other end of our property, with sufficient force that I had to put an end to the
 activity
 I endeavored to roll up the mat--no easy task, as the lawn surrounding the slide was itself now lubricated, and
 I struggled to maintain my footing. When I looked up from my labor, I grasped for the first time the scope of
 the liabilities I had unleashed-a horde of extremely well-lubricated seven-year-olds, hyped up on sugar and
 desperate for fun.
 I saw young Eliza Gimmelman climb onto the trampoline. She began jumping, but the pad soon became so
 slick that she lost all control. Her wild flailing unfortunately fell into harmonic synchronization with the
 motion of the springs, propelling her ever higher, until she soared above the trampoline's safety enclosure,
 over the hedge and into the neighbor's yard. There came a ghastly grinding sound, and I could tell from the
 crimson plume that followed, it would be a total loss
 Twins Jeremy and Mason Lafferty were on the swing set. Having attained the swings' full range of motion,
 they were apparently having difficulty holding on. At that point, the swings became human catapults. Mason
 separated on the backswing, arcing over the roof of our home toward the street beyond. I surmised from the
 screeching tires, car horns and screams of horror that he was also unrecoverable. A terrified Jeremy soon lost
 his grip as well, sailing forward over the bluff, and plummeting 300 feet down into the ice-cold, shark-infested
 waters of the San Francisco Bay. An open claim, but not promising
 The rest of the children were clinging to the merry-go-round. Having just witnessed the violent deaths of at
 least two of their playmates, they were no longer in the mood for fun. However, the lubricant had dripped
 from their glistening bodies into the central cog, allowing it to spin far faster than it was designed to, and this
 likely combined with other factors--their relative weight distribution, the slight incline of the ground--caused
 their motion to become self-sustaining, and the centrifugal force built upon itself until they became a blurry,
 screaming disk of human suffering. Then they began to fly off like cannon balls

 Martin Duckworth was the first to go, causing significant structural damage to our greenhouse. Lisa Aurelio
 shattered a line of ceramic garden gnomes, and Ethan Green slammed into our Audi Q7 so hard it had to be
 written off--as, tragically, did he. Several other children left what looked like gingerbread man indentations in
 the siding of our home. It was terrifying.
 When the wheel finally came to a stop, there was only one child aboard. As luck would have it, it was our own
 beloved Crispin, huddled in the center of the merry-go-round, weeping. My wife ran to him and hugged him
 with all the might of a relieved, traumatized parent. A little too hard, as it turned out. Lubricated as he was, he
 shot from her arms like a wet bar of soap, up fifteen feet in the air, landed on the trampoline, and then soared,
 in a half-gainer, over the hedge, into the wood chipper.
 Since then, I've asked myself a thousand times, is there anything I could have done differently? But in the end,
 no actuary table could have predicted this bloodbath. I can only conclude that this was an act of God. And
 that, to me, is truly terrifying. Because we're not covered for that.
<p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.tumblr.com/post/166887400578/passion-lubes" class="tumblr_blog">novelty-gift-ideas</a>:</p><blockquote><p><b><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.com/passion-lubes/">

Passion Lubes

</a></b><br/></p></blockquote>

novelty-gift-ideas: Passion Lubes

Animals, Apparently, and Birthday: Based Lubricant, 5 5 Drum Passion Lubes 3,051 customer reviews 78 answered questions About the product The Ultimate Lube Keg .Best Value Lube Pump Included xxBackyard Carnival of Death By James O. Thach on February 27, 2014 Size: 55 Gallon I'm a risk analyst for a major insurance firm, so when my wife and I were planning a birthday party for our seven-year-old, Crispin, my mind naturally turned to liabilities. We'd settled on the theme of a "backyard carnival", complete with a swing set, a trampoline, merry-go-round, and a giant Slip n Slide. So I carefully inspected the equipment for safety. It all seemed sound We have a home on a bluff overlooking the ocean. As it happened, on the day of the party our neighbors were trimming their fichus trees. We heard the sound of their wood chipper buzzing occasionally from the other side of our tall hedge. It was a little irritating, but not disruptive The party started off wonderfully. A clown we'd hired made balloon animals, Crispin eagerly opened his presents, and all the children enjoyed cake and fruit punch. The weather was mild, the skies clear. It seemed a perfect day. Then we brought out the Slip n Slide. The problem with water slides is what we in the trade call "distributed water deficiency zones", or in layman's terms, dry spots. If a child hits one of these, it can put the brakes on the fun, and send them sliding down a path of medical claims--contusions, concussions, lacerations, abrasions, whiplash, back rash, and disc impaction. And that's just for starters. From there, it's a slippery slope toward major litigation To avoid even the remote possibility of such injuries, I invested in this 55 gallon drum of water soluble personal lubricant--the idea being that the children could enjoy the slide in complete safety, then wash off in the hose before their parents came to retrieve them. With that in mind, I dipped each child into the vat before allowing them to cue up for the slide. The Slip n Slide itself performed admirably, as did the lubricant. That, in fact, was the problem. Due to the slight downhill gradient of our yard, the children built up so much speed that they skidded across the lawn and into a retaining wall at the other end of our property, with sufficient force that I had to put an end to the activity I endeavored to roll up the mat--no easy task, as the lawn surrounding the slide was itself now lubricated, and I struggled to maintain my footing. When I looked up from my labor, I grasped for the first time the scope of the liabilities I had unleashed-a horde of extremely well-lubricated seven-year-olds, hyped up on sugar and desperate for fun. I saw young Eliza Gimmelman climb onto the trampoline. She began jumping, but the pad soon became so slick that she lost all control. Her wild flailing unfortunately fell into harmonic synchronization with the motion of the springs, propelling her ever higher, until she soared above the trampoline's safety enclosure, over the hedge and into the neighbor's yard. There came a ghastly grinding sound, and I could tell from the crimson plume that followed, it would be a total loss Twins Jeremy and Mason Lafferty were on the swing set. Having attained the swings' full range of motion, they were apparently having difficulty holding on. At that point, the swings became human catapults. Mason separated on the backswing, arcing over the roof of our home toward the street beyond. I surmised from the screeching tires, car horns and screams of horror that he was also unrecoverable. A terrified Jeremy soon lost his grip as well, sailing forward over the bluff, and plummeting 300 feet down into the ice-cold, shark-infested waters of the San Francisco Bay. An open claim, but not promising The rest of the children were clinging to the merry-go-round. Having just witnessed the violent deaths of at least two of their playmates, they were no longer in the mood for fun. However, the lubricant had dripped from their glistening bodies into the central cog, allowing it to spin far faster than it was designed to, and this likely combined with other factors--their relative weight distribution, the slight incline of the ground--caused their motion to become self-sustaining, and the centrifugal force built upon itself until they became a blurry, screaming disk of human suffering. Then they began to fly off like cannon balls Martin Duckworth was the first to go, causing significant structural damage to our greenhouse. Lisa Aurelio shattered a line of ceramic garden gnomes, and Ethan Green slammed into our Audi Q7 so hard it had to be written off--as, tragically, did he. Several other children left what looked like gingerbread man indentations in the siding of our home. It was terrifying. When the wheel finally came to a stop, there was only one child aboard. As luck would have it, it was our own beloved Crispin, huddled in the center of the merry-go-round, weeping. My wife ran to him and hugged him with all the might of a relieved, traumatized parent. A little too hard, as it turned out. Lubricated as he was, he shot from her arms like a wet bar of soap, up fifteen feet in the air, landed on the trampoline, and then soared, in a half-gainer, over the hedge, into the wood chipper. Since then, I've asked myself a thousand times, is there anything I could have done differently? But in the end, no actuary table could have predicted this bloodbath. I can only conclude that this was an act of God. And that, to me, is truly terrifying. Because we're not covered for that. novelty-gift-ideas: Passion Lubes
Animals, Apparently, and Birthday: Based Lubricant, 5
 5
 Drum Passion Lubes
 3,051 customer reviews 78 answered questions
 About the product
 The Ultimate Lube Keg
 .Best Value
 Lube Pump Included

 xxBackyard Carnival of Death
 By James O. Thach on February 27, 2014
 Size: 55 Gallon
 I'm a risk analyst for a major insurance firm, so when my wife and I were planning a birthday party for our
 seven-year-old, Crispin, my mind naturally turned to liabilities. We'd settled on the theme of a "backyard
 carnival", complete with a swing set, a trampoline, merry-go-round, and a giant Slip n Slide. So I carefully
 inspected the equipment for safety. It all seemed sound
 We have a home on a bluff overlooking the ocean. As it happened, on the day of the party our neighbors were
 trimming their fichus trees. We heard the sound of their wood chipper buzzing occasionally from the other
 side of our tall hedge. It was a little irritating, but not disruptive
 The party started off wonderfully. A clown we'd hired made balloon animals, Crispin eagerly opened his
 presents, and all the children enjoyed cake and fruit punch. The weather was mild, the skies clear. It seemed a
 perfect day.
 Then we brought out the Slip n Slide.
 The problem with water slides is what we in the trade call "distributed water deficiency zones", or in layman's
 terms, dry spots. If a child hits one of these, it can put the brakes on the fun, and send them sliding down a
 path of medical claims--contusions, concussions, lacerations, abrasions, whiplash, back rash, and disc
 impaction. And that's just for starters. From there, it's a slippery slope toward major litigation
 To avoid even the remote possibility of such injuries, I invested in this 55 gallon drum of water soluble
 personal lubricant--the idea being that the children could enjoy the slide in complete safety, then wash off in
 the hose before their parents came to retrieve them. With that in mind, I dipped each child into the vat before
 allowing them to cue up for the slide.

 The Slip n Slide itself performed admirably, as did the lubricant. That, in fact, was the problem. Due to the
 slight downhill gradient of our yard, the children built up so much speed that they skidded across the lawn and
 into a retaining wall at the other end of our property, with sufficient force that I had to put an end to the
 activity
 I endeavored to roll up the mat--no easy task, as the lawn surrounding the slide was itself now lubricated, and
 I struggled to maintain my footing. When I looked up from my labor, I grasped for the first time the scope of
 the liabilities I had unleashed-a horde of extremely well-lubricated seven-year-olds, hyped up on sugar and
 desperate for fun.
 I saw young Eliza Gimmelman climb onto the trampoline. She began jumping, but the pad soon became so
 slick that she lost all control. Her wild flailing unfortunately fell into harmonic synchronization with the
 motion of the springs, propelling her ever higher, until she soared above the trampoline's safety enclosure,
 over the hedge and into the neighbor's yard. There came a ghastly grinding sound, and I could tell from the
 crimson plume that followed, it would be a total loss
 Twins Jeremy and Mason Lafferty were on the swing set. Having attained the swings' full range of motion,
 they were apparently having difficulty holding on. At that point, the swings became human catapults. Mason
 separated on the backswing, arcing over the roof of our home toward the street beyond. I surmised from the
 screeching tires, car horns and screams of horror that he was also unrecoverable. A terrified Jeremy soon lost
 his grip as well, sailing forward over the bluff, and plummeting 300 feet down into the ice-cold, shark-infested
 waters of the San Francisco Bay. An open claim, but not promising
 The rest of the children were clinging to the merry-go-round. Having just witnessed the violent deaths of at
 least two of their playmates, they were no longer in the mood for fun. However, the lubricant had dripped
 from their glistening bodies into the central cog, allowing it to spin far faster than it was designed to, and this
 likely combined with other factors--their relative weight distribution, the slight incline of the ground--caused
 their motion to become self-sustaining, and the centrifugal force built upon itself until they became a blurry,
 screaming disk of human suffering. Then they began to fly off like cannon balls

 Martin Duckworth was the first to go, causing significant structural damage to our greenhouse. Lisa Aurelio
 shattered a line of ceramic garden gnomes, and Ethan Green slammed into our Audi Q7 so hard it had to be
 written off--as, tragically, did he. Several other children left what looked like gingerbread man indentations in
 the siding of our home. It was terrifying.
 When the wheel finally came to a stop, there was only one child aboard. As luck would have it, it was our own
 beloved Crispin, huddled in the center of the merry-go-round, weeping. My wife ran to him and hugged him
 with all the might of a relieved, traumatized parent. A little too hard, as it turned out. Lubricated as he was, he
 shot from her arms like a wet bar of soap, up fifteen feet in the air, landed on the trampoline, and then soared,
 in a half-gainer, over the hedge, into the wood chipper.
 Since then, I've asked myself a thousand times, is there anything I could have done differently? But in the end,
 no actuary table could have predicted this bloodbath. I can only conclude that this was an act of God. And
 that, to me, is truly terrifying. Because we're not covered for that.
novelty-gift-ideas:

Passion Lubes

novelty-gift-ideas: Passion Lubes

Brains, Life, and Tumblr: neurosciencestuff: Bilingualism may save brain resources as you ageNew research findings show that bilingual people are great at saving brain power, that is. To do a task, the brain recruits different networks, or the highways on which different types of information flow, depending on the task to be done. The team of Ana Inés Ansaldo, PhD, a researcher at the Centre de recherche de l’Institut universitaire de gériatrie de Montréal and a professor at Université de Montréal, compared what are known as functional brain connections between seniors who are monolingual and seniors who are bilingual. Her team established that years of bilingualism change how the brain carries out tasks that require concentrating on one piece of information without becoming distracted by other information. This makes the brain more efficient and economical with its resources.   To arrive at this finding, Dr. Ansaldo’s team asked two groups of seniors (one of monolinguals and one of bilinguals) to perform a task that involved focusing on visual information while ignoring spatial information. The researchers compared the networks between different brain areas as people did the task. They found that monolinguals recruited a larger circuit with multiple connections, whereas bilinguals recruited a smaller circuit that was more appropriate for the required information. These findings were published in the Journal of Neurolinguistics.Two different ways of doing the same taskThe participants did a task that required them to focus on visual information (the colour of an object) while ignoring spatial information (the position of the object). The research team observed that the monolingual brain allocates a number of regions linked to visual and motor function and interference control, which are located in the frontal lobes. This means that the monolingual brain needs to recruit multiple brain regions to do the task. “After years of daily practice managing interference between two languages, bilinguals become experts at selecting relevant information and ignoring information that can distract from a task. In this case, bilinguals showed higher connectivity between visual processing areas located at the back of the brain. This area is specialized in detecting the visual characteristics of objects and therefore is specialized in the task used in this study. These data indicate that the bilingual brain is more efficient and economical, as it recruits fewer regions and only specialized regions,” explained Dr. Ansaldo.Bilinguals have a double advantage as they ageBilinguals therefore have two cognitive benefits. First, having more centralized and specialized functional connections saves resources compared to the multiple and more diverse brain areas allocated by monolinguals to accomplish the same task. Second, bilinguals achieve the same result by not using the brain’s frontal regions, which are vulnerable to aging. This may explain why the brains of bilinguals are better equipped at staving off the signs of cognitive aging or dementia. “We have observed that bilingualism has a concrete impact on brain function and that this may have a positive impact on cognitive aging. We now need to study how this function translates to daily life, for example, when concentrating on one source of information instead of another, which is something we have to do every day. And we have yet to discover all the benefits of bilingualism,” concluded Dr. Ansaldo. So basically Im better than you uni-lingual Americans hahahaha
Brains, Life, and Tumblr: neurosciencestuff:

Bilingualism may save brain resources as you ageNew research findings show that bilingual people are great at
 saving brain power, that is. To do a task, the brain recruits different
 networks, or the highways on which different types of information flow,
 depending on the task to be done. The team of Ana Inés Ansaldo, PhD, a 
researcher at the Centre de recherche de l’Institut universitaire de gériatrie de Montréal
 and a professor at Université de Montréal, compared what are known as 
functional brain connections between seniors who are monolingual and 
seniors who are bilingual. Her team established that years of 
bilingualism change how the brain carries out tasks that require 
concentrating on one piece of information without becoming distracted by
 other information. This makes the brain more efficient and economical 
with its resources.  
To arrive at this finding, Dr. Ansaldo’s team asked two groups of 
seniors (one of monolinguals and one of bilinguals) to perform a task 
that involved focusing on visual information while ignoring spatial 
information. The researchers compared the networks between different 
brain areas as people did the task. They found that monolinguals 
recruited a larger circuit with multiple connections, whereas bilinguals
 recruited a smaller circuit that was more appropriate for the required 
information. These findings were published in the Journal of 
Neurolinguistics.Two different ways of doing the same taskThe participants did a task that required them to focus on 
visual information (the colour of an object) while ignoring spatial 
information (the position of the object). The research team observed 
that the monolingual brain allocates a number of regions linked to 
visual and motor function and interference control, which are located in
 the frontal lobes. This means that the monolingual brain needs to 
recruit multiple brain regions to do the task. 
“After years of daily practice managing interference between two 
languages, bilinguals become experts at selecting relevant information 
and ignoring information that can distract from a task. In this case, 
bilinguals showed higher connectivity between visual processing areas 
located at the back of the brain. This area is specialized in detecting 
the visual characteristics of objects and therefore is specialized in 
the task used in this study. These data indicate that the bilingual 
brain is more efficient and economical, as it recruits fewer regions and
 only specialized regions,” explained Dr. Ansaldo.Bilinguals have a double advantage as they ageBilinguals therefore have two cognitive benefits. First, 
having more centralized and specialized functional connections saves 
resources compared to the multiple and more diverse brain areas 
allocated by monolinguals to accomplish the same task. Second, 
bilinguals achieve the same result by not using the brain’s frontal 
regions, which are vulnerable to aging. This may explain why the brains 
of bilinguals are better equipped at staving off the signs of cognitive 
aging or dementia. 
“We have observed that bilingualism has a concrete impact on brain 
function and that this may have a positive impact on cognitive aging. We
 now need to study how this function translates to daily life, for 
example, when concentrating on one source of information instead of 
another, which is something we have to do every day. And we have yet to 
discover all the benefits of bilingualism,” concluded Dr. Ansaldo.

So basically Im better than you uni-lingual Americans hahahaha

neurosciencestuff: Bilingualism may save brain resources as you ageNew research findings show that bilingual people are great at saving br...

Black Lives Matter, Google, and Police: 16%| 16:21 AM Google Just Dropped $11,000, www.theroot.com Google Just Dropped $11,000,000 to Make Sure #BlackLivesMatter Michael Harriot Yesterday 9:17am Filed to: GOOGLE 147.6K3 oogle f Share Tweet 6%. 6:21 AM Although Google did not specifically mention #BlackLivesMatter, there is little doubt that the recent outcry against state violence and injustice influenced Google's philanthropic initiatives. Feel free to direct people to this story whenever they ask what good things protesting has produced Tell them this is the reason social action and unitv are important Plus, when wypipo find out, we're gonna need all the help we can get mopping up the white tears Michael Harriot@michaelharriot Michael Harriot is a staff writer at The Root, host of "The Black One" podcast and editor-in-chief of the daily digital magazine NegusWhoRead f Share Tweet 796 6:20 AM system, including $1 million to the Equal Justice Initiative, a nonprofit focused on confronting past injustices, including America's history of lynchings and unequal treatment of people of color; $5 million to the Center for Policing Equity to build a national database that tracks police departments' use of force and traffic stops; $1 million to Impact Justice, an organization that focuses on keeping juveniles out of the criminal-justice system; and $1.5 million to Measures for Justice to build a web svstem to show how local municipalities treat people based on gender, color, age, etc A 11 1 f Share Tweet ardnale: melanin-king: Shout out to google What’s your move, Bing? Be nice to bing they probably have four dollars to spare
Black Lives Matter, Google, and Police: 16%| 16:21 AM
 Google Just Dropped $11,000,
 www.theroot.com
 Google Just Dropped
 $11,000,000 to Make Sure
 #BlackLivesMatter
 Michael Harriot
 Yesterday 9:17am
 Filed to: GOOGLE
 147.6K3
 oogle
 f Share
 Tweet

 6%. 6:21 AM
 Although Google did not specifically
 mention #BlackLivesMatter, there is little
 doubt that the recent outcry against state
 violence and injustice influenced Google's
 philanthropic initiatives. Feel free to direct
 people to this story whenever they ask
 what good things protesting has produced
 Tell them this is the reason social action
 and unitv are important
 Plus, when wypipo find out, we're gonna
 need all the help we can get mopping up
 the white tears
 Michael Harriot@michaelharriot
 Michael Harriot is a staff writer at The Root, host of
 "The Black One" podcast and editor-in-chief of the
 daily digital magazine NegusWhoRead
 f Share
 Tweet

 796 6:20 AM
 system, including
 $1 million to the Equal Justice
 Initiative, a nonprofit focused on
 confronting past injustices, including
 America's history of lynchings and
 unequal treatment of people of color;
 $5 million to the Center for Policing
 Equity to build a national database
 that tracks police departments' use of
 force and traffic stops;
 $1 million to Impact Justice, an
 organization that focuses on keeping
 juveniles out of the criminal-justice
 system; and
 $1.5 million to Measures for Justice to
 build a web svstem to show how local
 municipalities treat people based on
 gender, color, age, etc
 A 11 1
 f Share
 Tweet
ardnale:

melanin-king:
Shout out to google
What’s your move, Bing?


Be nice to bing they probably have four dollars to spare

ardnale: melanin-king: Shout out to google What’s your move, Bing? Be nice to bing they probably have four dollars to spare

America, New York, and Tumblr: Your Body On Anxiety People with anxiety are all too familiar with the negative impact it can have on their daily lives -but even if you don't suffer from the disorder, the anxious episodes and chronic stress we all experience can take a serious toll on our health. Take a look at what anxiety does to the body below. Fluids are dispersed to different parts of the body during episodes of anxiety. This causes the throat to become dry and the throat muscles to tighten When the body produces cortisol, the liver produces more glucose. This causes a spike in your blood sugar levels, which if not usecd, could be reabsorbed through the body Throat troubles Liver reactions When you first encounter anxiety, you may haue... Our response to stress increases our blood flow, causing a redistribution throughout the body. This causes some people to become paler as a reaction, while others tend to flush. Tense muscles When the body first experiences stress, the muscles immediately seize as a reflex reaction. Skin reactions An active spleen In order to get more oxygen to the bo dy during an anxious episode, the spleen discharges more red and white blood cells Once you've been dealing with anxiety for a while, it can cause other health issues. Greater susceptibility to ulcers Cardiovascular problems HEART Weaker respiratory functions STOMACH AND DIGESTIVE TRACT LUNGS Long-term anxiety's effect on the... Digestion troubles Changes in metabolism An overworked nervous system BRAIN IMMUNIE SYSTEM Problems falling asleep SWeakened mmune system Changes in the brain Sources: American Psychological Association, The New York Times Health Guide, University of Maryland Medical Center, National Institutes of Health, Anxiety and Depression Association of America Illustrations: Getty, Alissa Scheller/The Huffington Post THE HUFFINGTON POST psy-cho-lo-gy: Source: Your body on anxiety. Follow Francesca Mura on Pinterest So in a nutshell I should be dead
America, New York, and Tumblr: Your Body On Anxiety
 People with anxiety are all too familiar with the negative impact it can have on their daily lives -but even if you don't suffer
 from the disorder, the anxious episodes and chronic stress we all experience can take a serious toll on our health. Take a
 look at what anxiety does to the body below.

 Fluids are dispersed to
 different parts of the
 body during episodes of
 anxiety. This causes the
 throat to become dry
 and the throat muscles
 to tighten
 When the body produces cortisol, the liver
 produces more glucose. This causes a spike
 in your blood sugar levels, which if not usecd,
 could be reabsorbed through the body
 Throat
 troubles
 Liver
 reactions
 When you
 first encounter
 anxiety, you
 may haue...
 Our response to
 stress increases our
 blood flow, causing
 a redistribution
 throughout the
 body. This causes
 some people to
 become paler as a
 reaction, while
 others tend to flush.
 Tense
 muscles
 When the body first
 experiences stress, the
 muscles immediately seize
 as a reflex reaction.
 Skin
 reactions
 An active
 spleen
 In order to get more oxygen to the
 bo
 dy during an anxious episode,
 the spleen discharges more red and
 white blood cells

 Once you've been dealing with
 anxiety for a while, it can cause
 other health issues.

 Greater
 susceptibility
 to ulcers
 Cardiovascular
 problems
 HEART
 Weaker
 respiratory
 functions
 STOMACH
 AND DIGESTIVE
 TRACT
 LUNGS
 Long-term
 anxiety's
 effect on the...
 Digestion
 troubles
 Changes in
 metabolism
 An overworked
 nervous system
 BRAIN
 IMMUNIE
 SYSTEM
 Problems
 falling asleep
 SWeakened
 mmune
 system
 Changes
 in the brain

 Sources: American Psychological Association, The New York Times Health Guide, University of Maryland
 Medical Center, National Institutes of Health, Anxiety and Depression Association of America
 Illustrations: Getty, Alissa Scheller/The Huffington Post
 THE HUFFINGTON POST
psy-cho-lo-gy:

Source: Your body on anxiety.
Follow Francesca Mura on Pinterest


So in a nutshell I should be dead

psy-cho-lo-gy: Source: Your body on anxiety. Follow Francesca Mura on Pinterest So in a nutshell I should be dead