Ifi

🔥 | Latest

Beer, Life, and Love: I don't know what he's doing, I just told him to FLOSS! Peter Griffin here, and boy oh boy is THIS ONE a doozy! ILOLed (that's an acronym the young people of today use, and it means "laugh out loud," in case you didn't know) out loud so hard I almost spat my beer out all over my computer and ruined it! Boy would THAT ever be un-epic! Without my computer, how would I ever be able to look at these hilarious maymays and explain them for all of you? Not to mention I'd no longer be able to watch the latest compilations of Ben Shapiro DESTROYing l*btards epically. Explaining me-mes and watching leftists get epically pwned are the only two things Ireally love in life anymore, and ifI were to lose both at the same time, I honestly don't know what I'd do. Probably be so overcome with grief at my life losing all meaning, that I'd be unable to continue living my now-pointless life and put a gun in my mouth. Wow, Ireally went off track there, didn't I? Anyway, this is so epically hilarious because it features a young person, probably no older than fifteen, at the dentist's office But here's the kicker: he's not in the dentist chair or anything! No, instead, he's up and about, swinging his arms around and moving his hips! In the foreground, we have a woman wearing a surgical mask, whom we can reasonably assume is the dentist. She observes the young man confusedly, and proclaims, "I don't know what he's doing, Ijust told him to FLOSS!" See, the dentist is presumably referring to the act of rubbing a thin string between one's teeth to remove excess plaque. That's the historical definition of the word floss," which has been commercially available since 1882. Our young friend, however, seems to have other ideas. See, more recently, "floss" has come to refer to a dance move in the popular online game, Fortnite. The dance is characterized by "a lot of fast arms and hip swings as though using a giant invisible piece of floss," which is where the name comes from. Additionally, the child is drawn to resemble one Russell Horning, popularly known as "Backpack Kid," who helped popularize the dance. With this information in mind, it can be inferred that the dentist is advising the boy to keep his teeth clean, by flossing, but since he's such a gamer, he instead believes that she is telling him to do the Fortnite dance. Now THAT is epic! I tried playing Fortnite myself, a few times, but couldn't really get into it. There's too many
Beer, Life, and Love: I don't know what he's doing, I just told him to FLOSS!
 Peter Griffin here, and boy oh boy is THIS ONE a doozy! ILOLed (that's an acronym the young people of today use, and it means
 "laugh out loud," in case you didn't know) out loud so hard I almost spat my beer out all over my computer and ruined it! Boy
 would THAT ever be un-epic! Without my computer, how would I ever be able to look at these hilarious maymays and explain
 them for all of you? Not to mention I'd no longer be able to watch the latest compilations of Ben Shapiro DESTROYing l*btards
 epically. Explaining me-mes and watching leftists get epically pwned are the only two things Ireally love in life anymore, and ifI
 were to lose both at the same time, I honestly don't know what I'd do. Probably be so overcome with grief at my life losing all
 meaning, that I'd be unable to continue living my now-pointless life and put a gun in my mouth. Wow, Ireally went off track there,
 didn't I? Anyway, this is so epically hilarious because it features a young person, probably no older than fifteen, at the dentist's office
 But here's the kicker: he's not in the dentist chair or anything! No, instead, he's up and about, swinging his arms around and moving
 his hips! In the foreground, we have a woman wearing a surgical mask, whom we can reasonably assume is the dentist. She observes
 the young man confusedly, and proclaims, "I don't know what he's doing, Ijust told him to FLOSS!" See, the dentist is presumably
 referring to the act of rubbing a thin string between one's teeth to remove excess plaque. That's the historical definition of the word
 floss," which has been commercially available since 1882. Our young friend, however, seems to have other ideas. See, more
 recently, "floss" has come to refer to a dance move in the popular online game, Fortnite. The dance is characterized by "a lot of fast
 arms and hip swings as though using a giant invisible piece of floss," which is where the name comes from. Additionally, the child is
 drawn to resemble one Russell Horning, popularly known as "Backpack Kid," who helped popularize the dance. With this
 information in mind, it can be inferred that the dentist is advising the boy to keep his teeth clean, by flossing, but since he's such a
 gamer, he instead believes that she is telling him to do the Fortnite dance. Now THAT is epic! I tried playing Fortnite myself, a few
 times, but couldn't really get into it. There's too many

A Dream, Click, and Fake: Do you want to know something that people don't tell you about being married for a long time? You actually do run out of things to talk about I know you might think I am kidding, but I am being a million percent truthsies over here. As a child, I always wondered what married people talked about, and was assured by many a family member that there were always things to discuss This is a lie. A big, fat one. It's really unfortunate that no one was truthful with me, because here I am with nothing to say and completely unprepared on how to deal. My husband and I go on a weekly date night and after I go into detail about my wild day working from home (I ate a Lean Cuisine, I answered three emails, I found a dollar in the wash), I have nothing. The other day I started to tell my husband about this super interesting thing that had happened, but then I was like, "oh never mind, I'm saving that for our date tonight" and he's like "um, WHAT?" and I was like, "well, when I've got something good I save it for date night so I have something to talk about. It seems like such a waste to spend it on a regular day. So then he thought that was one of the weirdest things he's ever heard about, which I assumed maybe HE already did that too? But he was like, "No, people do not do that." It's like I don't know how to be a person the right way sometimes. Every now and again my husband will ask "did you bake anything today, hon?" and ifI made Créme Bruleé Brownies I say "nope" because I'm hiding them and don't want to share. These fudgy little bites of bliss are covered in a thick vanilla custard that slices up like a dream. A sprinkling of sugar and a run under the broiler gets that caramelized, crackly top. Basically, these are perfect and you need them right now. That is all benepla: kramergate: I love it when I click on a recipe link because it sounds yummy and instead of a recipe I get a several page dissertation on a food blogger’s boredom with her marriage and lies she was told in childhood this ending in a recipe literally changed my fucking life i thought i was being spread some fucking truisms abt the ugliness of marriage but it was literally a preamble to creme brulee brownies. writing is fake
A Dream, Click, and Fake: Do you want to know something that people
 don't tell you about being married for a long
 time?
 You actually do run out of things to talk about
 I know you might think I am kidding, but I am
 being a million percent truthsies over here. As
 a child, I always wondered what married
 people talked about, and was assured by many
 a family member that there were always things
 to discuss
 This is a lie. A big, fat one.

 It's really unfortunate that no one was truthful
 with me, because here I am with nothing to say
 and completely unprepared on how to deal. My
 husband and I go on a weekly date night and
 after I go into detail about my wild day
 working from home (I ate a Lean Cuisine, I
 answered three emails, I found a dollar in the
 wash), I have nothing.
 The other day I started to tell my husband
 about this super interesting thing that had
 happened, but then I was like, "oh never mind,
 I'm saving that for our date tonight" and he's
 like "um, WHAT?" and I was like, "well, when
 I've got something good I save it for date night
 so I have something to talk about. It seems like
 such a waste to spend it on a regular day.
 So then he thought that was one of the weirdest
 things he's ever heard about, which I assumed
 maybe HE already did that too? But he was
 like, "No, people do not do that."
 It's like I don't know how to be a person the
 right way sometimes.

 Every now and again my husband will ask
 "did you bake anything today, hon?" and ifI
 made Créme Bruleé Brownies I say "nope"
 because I'm hiding them and don't want to
 share.
 These fudgy little bites of bliss are covered in a
 thick vanilla custard that slices up like a
 dream. A sprinkling of sugar and a run under
 the broiler gets that caramelized, crackly top.
 Basically, these are perfect and you need them
 right now. That is all
benepla:
kramergate:
I love it when I click on a recipe link because it sounds yummy and instead of a recipe I get a several page dissertation on a food blogger’s boredom with her marriage and lies she was told in childhood
this ending in a recipe literally changed my fucking life i thought i was being spread some fucking truisms abt the ugliness of marriage but it was literally a preamble to creme brulee brownies. writing is fake

benepla: kramergate: I love it when I click on a recipe link because it sounds yummy and instead of a recipe I get a several page dissertati...

Advice, Apparently, and Bee Movie: biggest-gaudiest-patronuses sqooper Follow wallpatterns The other day I went to McDonald's with my family and the guy who took my order was really loud and was basically like "HAPPY HOLIDAYS WHAT CAN I GET YOU" and I was like wow I can't let this guy outmatch me so I yelled "I'LL TAKE A HAPPY MEAL WITH THE NUG NUGS IFI MAY" you know like a natural well-adjusted epitome of adulthood 19 year old and he was like "CERTAINLY WOULD YOU LIKE THE MIGHTY KIDS MEALINSTEAD WITH EXTRA FRIES" and I was so sleep deprivedI essentially blacked out and apparently leaned over the counter like I was robbing the place, raised my eyebrow like a suave robin hood and said "HECK YES I WOULD GOOD SIR" and then I sat down and he yelled from across the store "WOULD YOU LIKE THE PURPLE OR BLUE SPIDER MAN and since purple is the more superior color that's how I answered and long story short my parents think college changed me and that I'm now the poster child for being social and I've only been asked once why I'm not in a relationship yet but I know it's gonna be brought up again and how do i tell my parents it's because whenever eat in the dining hall spend the entire time playing bumper cars with the wheeley chairs and all I eat is pixie sticks and the last time I was in the library (where I'm supposed to work next semester, deAr GoD) I ripped my leggings in the bathroom pulling up my pants and I walked the entire 20 mins back to my dorm with my neon underwear peeking out from the holes like a 17th century harlot with a cocaine addiction and I've essentially been living off jars of peanut butter and the soundtrack to the bee movie for the past year sqooper there's more information in this post than there was in the library of alexandria advice-animal: College changes you…
Advice, Apparently, and Bee Movie: biggest-gaudiest-patronuses
 sqooper Follow
 wallpatterns
 The other day I went to McDonald's with my
 family and the guy who took my order was
 really loud and was basically like "HAPPY
 HOLIDAYS WHAT CAN I GET YOU" and I
 was like wow I can't let this guy outmatch
 me so I yelled "I'LL TAKE A HAPPY MEAL
 WITH THE NUG NUGS IFI MAY" you know
 like a natural well-adjusted epitome of
 adulthood 19 year old and he was like
 "CERTAINLY WOULD YOU LIKE THE
 MIGHTY KIDS MEALINSTEAD WITH
 EXTRA FRIES" and I was so sleep deprivedI
 essentially blacked out and apparently
 leaned over the counter like I was robbing
 the place, raised my eyebrow like a suave
 robin hood and said "HECK YES I WOULD
 GOOD SIR" and then I sat down and he
 yelled from across the store "WOULD YOU
 LIKE THE PURPLE OR BLUE SPIDER
 MAN and since purple is the more superior
 color that's how I answered and long story
 short my parents think college changed me
 and that I'm now the poster child for being
 social and I've only been asked once why
 I'm not in a relationship yet but I know it's
 gonna be brought up again and how do i tell
 my parents it's because whenever eat in
 the dining hall spend the entire time
 playing bumper cars with the wheeley
 chairs and all I eat is pixie sticks and the last
 time I was in the library (where I'm
 supposed to work next semester, deAr GoD)
 I ripped my leggings in the bathroom pulling
 up my pants and I walked the entire 20 mins
 back to my dorm with my neon underwear
 peeking out from the holes like a 17th
 century harlot with a cocaine addiction and
 I've essentially been living off jars of peanut
 butter and the soundtrack to the bee movie
 for the past year
 sqooper
 there's more information in this post than
 there was in the library of alexandria
advice-animal:

College changes you…

advice-animal: College changes you…

Apparently, Bee Movie, and Cars: biggest-gaudiest-patronuses sqooper Follow wallpatterns The other day I went to McDonald's with my family and the guy who took my order was really loud and was basically like "HAPPY HOLIDAYS WHAT CAN I GET YOU" and I was like wow I can't let this guy outmatch me so I yelled "I'LL TAKE A HAPPY MEAL WITH THE NUG NUGS IFI MAY" you know like a natural well-adjusted epitome of adulthood 19 year old and he was like "CERTAINLY WOULD YOU LIKE THE MIGHTY KIDS MEALINSTEAD WITH EXTRA FRIES" and I was so sleep deprivedI essentially blacked out and apparently leaned over the counter like I was robbing the place, raised my eyebrow like a suave robin hood and said "HECK YES I WOULD GOOD SIR" and then I sat down and he yelled from across the store "WOULD YOU LIKE THE PURPLE OR BLUE SPIDER MAN and since purple is the more superior color that's how I answered and long story short my parents think college changed me and that I'm now the poster child for being social and I've only been asked once why I'm not in a relationship yet but I know it's gonna be brought up again and how do i tell my parents it's because whenever eat in the dining hall spend the entire time playing bumper cars with the wheeley chairs and all I eat is pixie sticks and the last time I was in the library (where I'm supposed to work next semester, deAr GoD) I ripped my leggings in the bathroom pulling up my pants and I walked the entire 20 mins back to my dorm with my neon underwear peeking out from the holes like a 17th century harlot with a cocaine addiction and I've essentially been living off jars of peanut butter and the soundtrack to the bee movie for the past year sqooper there's more information in this post than there was in the library of alexandria College changes you
Apparently, Bee Movie, and Cars: biggest-gaudiest-patronuses
 sqooper Follow
 wallpatterns
 The other day I went to McDonald's with my
 family and the guy who took my order was
 really loud and was basically like "HAPPY
 HOLIDAYS WHAT CAN I GET YOU" and I
 was like wow I can't let this guy outmatch
 me so I yelled "I'LL TAKE A HAPPY MEAL
 WITH THE NUG NUGS IFI MAY" you know
 like a natural well-adjusted epitome of
 adulthood 19 year old and he was like
 "CERTAINLY WOULD YOU LIKE THE
 MIGHTY KIDS MEALINSTEAD WITH
 EXTRA FRIES" and I was so sleep deprivedI
 essentially blacked out and apparently
 leaned over the counter like I was robbing
 the place, raised my eyebrow like a suave
 robin hood and said "HECK YES I WOULD
 GOOD SIR" and then I sat down and he
 yelled from across the store "WOULD YOU
 LIKE THE PURPLE OR BLUE SPIDER
 MAN and since purple is the more superior
 color that's how I answered and long story
 short my parents think college changed me
 and that I'm now the poster child for being
 social and I've only been asked once why
 I'm not in a relationship yet but I know it's
 gonna be brought up again and how do i tell
 my parents it's because whenever eat in
 the dining hall spend the entire time
 playing bumper cars with the wheeley
 chairs and all I eat is pixie sticks and the last
 time I was in the library (where I'm
 supposed to work next semester, deAr GoD)
 I ripped my leggings in the bathroom pulling
 up my pants and I walked the entire 20 mins
 back to my dorm with my neon underwear
 peeking out from the holes like a 17th
 century harlot with a cocaine addiction and
 I've essentially been living off jars of peanut
 butter and the soundtrack to the bee movie
 for the past year
 sqooper
 there's more information in this post than
 there was in the library of alexandria
College changes you

College changes you

Being Alone, Ass, and Bad: PLAYBOY: There's no part of you that would want to play Donald Trump? SHANNON: No PLAYBOY: Just to get inside his head? You talked about being fascinated with bad men who are suffering. SHANNON: How do you mean? How is he suffering? PLAYBOY: You don't think Trump struggles with demons? SHANNON: He's having a blast! Are you fucking kidding me? That guy is having so much fun PLAYBOY: And there's no self-doubt or fear? SHANNON: He's having the time of his fucking life. He doesn't even have to work. All the hard work that most peo ple have to do to get to be president of the United States, he just skipped all that. The fucking guy doesn't even know what's in the Constitution. He doesn't have any grasp of history or politics or law or anything. He's just blindfolded, throwing darts at the side of a bus. PLAYBOY: So Trump is where your capacity for empathy ends? SHANNON: What is there to be empa thetic toward? PLAYBOY: What do you thinkis going through his head at four A.M. as he's lying in bed and staring at the ceiling? SHANNON: He's probably thinking, I want some fucking pussy. I don't know. I'm not going to remotely contemplate the notion that Trump is capable of deep reflection. PLAYBOY: In any form? SHANNON: In any form! It doesn't hap pen. Fuck that guy. When he's alone with his thoughts, he's not capable of anything more complex than "I want some pussy and a cheese burger. Maybe my wife will blow me ifI tell her she's pretty." thefingerfuckingfemalefury: awed-frog: norcross: lothornberry: Michael Shannon is the realest and I love his weird ass with my whole heart I can’t believe the interviewer kept asking, as though they couldn’t believe it. Trump doesn’t struggle with demons HE IS A DEMON
Being Alone, Ass, and Bad: PLAYBOY: There's no part of you that would
 want to play Donald Trump?
 SHANNON: No
 PLAYBOY: Just to get inside his head? You
 talked about being fascinated with bad men
 who are suffering.
 SHANNON: How do you mean? How is
 he suffering?
 PLAYBOY: You don't think Trump
 struggles with demons?
 SHANNON: He's having a blast! Are you
 fucking kidding me? That guy is having
 so much fun
 PLAYBOY: And there's no self-doubt
 or fear?
 SHANNON: He's having the time of his
 fucking life. He doesn't even have to
 work. All the hard work that most peo
 ple have to do to get to be president of
 the United States, he just skipped all
 that. The fucking guy doesn't even know
 what's in the Constitution. He doesn't
 have any grasp of history or politics or
 law or anything. He's just blindfolded,
 throwing darts at the side of a bus.
 PLAYBOY: So Trump is where your
 capacity for empathy ends?
 SHANNON: What is there to be empa
 thetic toward?
 PLAYBOY: What do you thinkis going through
 his head at four A.M. as he's lying in bed and
 staring at the ceiling?
 SHANNON: He's probably thinking, I want
 some fucking pussy. I don't know. I'm not going
 to remotely contemplate the notion that Trump
 is capable of deep reflection.
 PLAYBOY: In any form?
 SHANNON: In any form! It doesn't hap
 pen. Fuck that guy. When he's alone with his
 thoughts, he's not capable of anything more
 complex than "I want some pussy and a cheese
 burger. Maybe my wife will blow me ifI tell her
 she's pretty."
thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

awed-frog:

norcross:

lothornberry:
Michael Shannon is the realest and I love his weird ass with my whole heart

I can’t believe the interviewer kept asking, as though they couldn’t believe it. 


Trump doesn’t struggle with demons HE IS A DEMON

thefingerfuckingfemalefury: awed-frog: norcross: lothornberry: Michael Shannon is the realest and I love his weird ass with my whole hear...