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Bones, Cats, and Dogs: Cat's Diary Dog's Diary Day 983 of My Captivity Dog food! My favorite thing! A car ride! My favorite 8:00 am My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre littie dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheiess must eat something in order to keep up my strength. 9:30 am thing! A walk in the park! My 9:40 am favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail My favorite thing! The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today i decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since this clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good litle hunter" I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe... for now. Dinner! My favorite thing! 5:00 pm 7:00 pm - Got to play balll My favorite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! mini phone dump
Bones, Cats, and Dogs: Cat's Diary
 Dog's Diary
 Day 983 of My Captivity
 Dog food! My favorite thing!
 A car ride! My favorite
 8:00 am
 My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre littie dangling
 objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other
 inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
 Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear,
 I nevertheiess must eat something in order to keep up my
 strength.
 9:30 am
 thing!
 A walk in the park! My
 9:40 am
 favorite thing!
 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My
 favorite thing!
 12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite
 thing!
 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My
 favorite thing!
 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail My favorite
 thing!
 The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In
 an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
 Today i decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at
 their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts,
 since this clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they
 merely made condescending comments about what a "good litle
 hunter" I am. Bastards!
 There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.
 I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the
 event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I
 overheard that my confinement was due to the power of
 "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to
 my advantage.
 Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one
 of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.
 I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
 I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
 snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
 released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
 obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe
 him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that
 he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective
 custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe... for now.
 Dinner! My favorite thing!
 5:00 pm
 7:00 pm - Got to play balll My favorite
 thing!
 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the
 people! My favorite thing!
 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My
 favorite thing!
mini phone dump

mini phone dump

Bad, Christmas, and Dr. Seuss: 12:36 o s O NO Sl A 42% 4 < Jane Ari Pralle Chat Yeter 2u You iked Jane's phota Yetering onu I can't resist a good bad Christmas sweater What should your custom poem be about Ooh surprise me But that could be copy pasted and that's no tun Gimme something suuuuper specific And then I need a format choice toa, between Dr. Seuss poem, Shakespearean sonnet, or something custom Yesterty For the spirit of things, that same Christmas sweater. I think sonnet or Seuss style would be Interesting Sommet, final answer Sonnet Veetery 0PM I enjoy al these amusingly specitic soloctionsl Holiday sweaters. are my shit. Sit tight| Engaging ryicality Should Rudolph pause before a red so fine? Esch every handmade brickline laid with care No sweater on this earth match'd her desigrn, Doff polyester now for wool so fair. Nostalgic evenings end by fire's dance, Unending chest nuts roasting on the flame Doth time unerringly from thus advance? Enmesh fair memries in your fabric's frame. Such understated beauty holds the wreath, Just lookl espy her face for beauty more. And yonder ribbons dance and light bequeath, No trash pullover could so highly soar Each hearth lacks warmth in absence of such heart. Ere onto spring l'd never be apart. Tuday AM That was very well thought out, I really, really liked it Trsday M Haha thankall But just wait until you read the first ietter of each ine in the sonnet Taday SAM Dammit You're too clever Ch if anly it ended there. See the message I sent after your requesta, the one about the amusingly specific selections? Resd the first letter of each word in that sentence Tulay aAM Did not see that one coming Taday AM Oh, it only gets worse. The message after that one, starting with "holiday sweaters". Write down the first letter of each word, but than read it backwards Any other coded messages? Keeps on going fm afraid Check out the sonnet again. Read the first letter of the "second" word in each line Fedau AM Well played (at this point she guessed what's ahead and also did this one) I got that one Unsurprisingly there's also a secret message it you read the first letter of the third word in each ine Probably for good measure you could olso read the first letter of every message i sent "after the sonnet Th SENDNODES NE Sthash especttuy the hmanher Degr I thought I’d peaked before, but I was so, so wrong… This clearly is the best I’ll ever manage. I can’t ever hope to match it
Bad, Christmas, and Dr. Seuss: 12:36 o s O
 NO Sl
 A 42% 4
 < Jane Ari
 Pralle
 Chat
 Yeter 2u
 You iked Jane's phota
 Yetering onu
 I can't resist a good bad Christmas sweater
 What should your custom poem be about
 Ooh surprise me
 But that could be copy pasted and that's no tun
 Gimme something suuuuper specific
 And then I need a format choice toa, between
 Dr. Seuss poem, Shakespearean sonnet, or
 something custom
 Yesterty
 For the spirit of things, that same Christmas
 sweater. I think sonnet or Seuss style would
 be Interesting
 Sommet, final answer
 Sonnet
 Veetery 0PM
 I enjoy al these amusingly specitic soloctionsl
 Holiday sweaters. are my shit. Sit tight| Engaging
 ryicality
 Should Rudolph pause before a red so fine?
 Esch every handmade brickline laid with care
 No sweater on this earth match'd her desigrn,
 Doff polyester now for wool so fair.
 Nostalgic evenings end by fire's dance,
 Unending chest nuts roasting on the flame
 Doth time unerringly from thus advance?
 Enmesh fair memries in your fabric's frame.
 Such understated beauty holds the wreath,
 Just lookl espy her face for beauty more.
 And yonder ribbons dance and light bequeath,
 No trash pullover could so highly soar
 Each hearth lacks warmth in absence of such
 heart.
 Ere onto spring l'd never be apart.
 Tuday AM
 That was very well thought out, I really,
 really liked it
 Trsday M
 Haha thankall But just wait until you read the first
 ietter of each ine in the sonnet
 Taday SAM
 Dammit
 You're too clever
 Ch if anly it ended there. See the message I sent
 after your requesta, the one about the amusingly
 specific selections? Resd the first letter of each
 word in that sentence
 Tulay aAM
 Did not see that one coming
 Taday AM
 Oh, it only gets worse. The message after that
 one, starting with "holiday sweaters". Write down
 the first letter of each word, but than read it
 backwards
 Any other coded messages?
 Keeps on going fm afraid Check out the sonnet
 again. Read the first letter of the "second" word
 in each line
 Fedau AM
 Well played
 (at this point she guessed what's
 ahead and also did this one)
 I got that one
 Unsurprisingly there's also a secret message it
 you read the first letter of the third word in each
 ine
 Probably for good measure you could olso read
 the first letter of every message i sent "after the
 sonnet
 Th
 SENDNODES NE
 Sthash
 especttuy the
 hmanher
 Degr
I thought I’d peaked before, but I was so, so wrong… This clearly is the best I’ll ever manage. I can’t ever hope to match it

I thought I’d peaked before, but I was so, so wrong… This clearly is the best I’ll ever manage. I can’t ever hope to match it

Bad, Books, and England: a togand toad-are-triends My favorite thing about Thomas the Tank Engine is that in canonically takes place in a train postapocalypse where the island of Sodor is the only safe zone in a totalitarian dysnopia in which steam trains are routinely killed and their body parts are sold or canmbaled for repair If you think I'm kidding you need to read the original books leontroid eenud could you please direct me to a souroei would feel much better if this was validated. frog-and toad-are-friends S It took me so long to find this quote online but i did it because it's so much darker than one might expect from Thomas the Tank Engine Engines on the Other Railway arent sale now. Their controllers are eruel. They dont lke engines any more. They put them on cold damp sidings, and then" Percy nearly sobbed, "Ihey they cecut them up "The Bluebels of England" Stepney the Bluebel Engine. Rex Awdry, Wibert. London Egmont Pubshing 1963. This ilustration, by Gunvor and Peter fidwards, accompanied the above text in the original book, and depicts a pair of unfortunate Cther Railway engines moments before being disassembled with a blowtorch A dainydice HOLY FUCK LOOK AT THE ONE IN THE BACKGROUND THEY TOOK ITS FUCONG FACE OMG trogand toad-are-tiends zidane the early thomas the tank engine books are pretty standard stuff. saccharine bubblegum type stories and ilustrations. you watched the show, is ke that in book form. the second hall of the railway series are so fucking dark and sureal im cominced they were a result of reverend wilbur awdry doing copious amounts of lad and having hallucinations of his own death. frog-and toad-are-triends Eecuse me but the rery fest story in the Railway Series is about an engine who hides in a turnel and refuses to run because he doesn't want to pet his paint job ruined in the rain, so railway management seals off the tunnel They eventually let him out because another engine breaks down or something, but the original plan was to just leave him in there forever ahulamithbond On the show, didnt they also hook up one engine to a generator, so he'd never move again? That was iterally one of the inesIn, Is on some other post on here. I was chilling frog-and to adare-triends a Yes! This also happened in the books, to an engine refemed to only as "No. 2, but the selevision series applied the same scenario to an inwented character named "Smudger", in the episode "Granputf. "Smudges" said Duke Was a show-off. He rode roughly and often came off the rails. I warned him to be careful, but he took no notice Usten, Dukie" he snared. "Who wories about a few spils Ha aid, but Smudger lghed Unil one day. Manager said he was going to make him useful at last. Smudger stopped laughing then" Wwwhy What did he do "He tumed him ito a generator. He's sil there behind our shed. Hell never move again." deducecanse This is so fucked up 4 unclewhisky No, sten Okay, so we see Ralway Management doing all this shit, right, but supposedly ifs so much worse in the Other Ralays?i mea, sure, you might get tumed into generator or bricked into a tunnel for not doing as yoưre told, but at least you're not cut up and sold for parts, right? s not so bod on the island of Sodot right? a Or maybe thara just what Rulway Managament warta the engines to think Maybe the island of Sodor is the real totalitarian regime, and the engine citizens (slaves) are fed propaganda, kustrated in belish araes and sulfurie vellows,about how ilustrated in helish grays and sulfuric yellows, about how bad it is everywhere else, at all the Other Railways. You are lucky to be an engine of Seder. Railmay Management cares about you Tryst Railway Management. Stay on Your Track. It Could Be So Much Worse. connethepaganangel Wet the fuck is this train based 1984 bulshit Source frogand toad are friends 220440 netes Thomas and his friends
Bad, Books, and England: a togand toad-are-triends
 My favorite thing about Thomas the Tank Engine is that in
 canonically takes place in a train postapocalypse where
 the island of Sodor is the only safe zone in a totalitarian
 dysnopia in which steam trains are routinely killed and
 their body parts are sold or canmbaled for repair
 If you think I'm kidding you need to read the original
 books
 leontroid
 eenud
 could you please direct me to a souroei would feel much
 better if this was validated.
 frog-and toad-are-friends
 S
 It took me so long to find this quote online but i did it
 because it's so much darker than one might expect from
 Thomas the Tank Engine
 Engines on the Other Railway arent sale now. Their
 controllers are eruel. They dont lke engines any more.
 They put them on cold damp sidings, and then" Percy
 nearly sobbed, "Ihey they cecut them up
 "The Bluebels of England" Stepney the Bluebel
 Engine. Rex Awdry, Wibert. London Egmont
 Pubshing 1963.
 This ilustration, by Gunvor and Peter fidwards,
 accompanied the above text in the original book, and
 depicts a pair of unfortunate Cther Railway engines
 moments before being disassembled with a blowtorch
 A dainydice
 HOLY FUCK LOOK AT THE ONE IN THE BACKGROUND
 THEY TOOK ITS FUCONG FACE OMG
 trogand toad-are-tiends
 zidane
 the early thomas the tank engine books are pretty
 standard stuff. saccharine bubblegum type stories and
 ilustrations. you watched the show, is ke that in book
 form.
 the second hall of the railway series are so fucking dark
 and sureal im cominced they were a result of reverend
 wilbur awdry doing copious amounts of lad and having
 hallucinations of his own death.
 frog-and toad-are-triends
 Eecuse me but the rery fest story in the Railway Series is
 about an engine who hides in a turnel and refuses to run
 because he doesn't want to pet his paint job ruined in the
 rain, so railway management seals off the tunnel
 They eventually let him out because another engine
 breaks down or something, but the original plan was to
 just leave him in there forever
 ahulamithbond
 On the show, didnt they also hook up one engine to a
 generator, so he'd never move again? That was iterally
 one of the inesIn, Is on some other post on here. I
 was chilling
 frog-and to
 adare-triends
 a
 Yes! This also happened in the books, to an engine
 refemed to only as "No. 2, but the selevision series
 applied the same scenario to an inwented character
 named "Smudger", in the episode "Granputf.
 "Smudges" said Duke Was a show-off. He rode
 roughly and often came off the rails. I warned him to
 be careful, but he took no notice
 Usten, Dukie" he snared. "Who wories about a few
 spils
 Ha aid, but Smudger lghed
 Unil one day. Manager said he was going to make
 him useful at last. Smudger stopped laughing then"
 Wwwhy What did he do
 "He tumed him ito a generator. He's sil there behind
 our shed. Hell never move again."
 deducecanse
 This is so fucked up
 4
 unclewhisky
 No, sten
 Okay, so we see Ralway Management doing all this shit,
 right, but supposedly ifs so much worse in the Other
 Ralays?i mea, sure, you might get tumed into
 generator or bricked into a tunnel for not doing as yoưre
 told, but at least you're not cut up and sold for parts,
 right? s not so bod on the island of Sodot right?
 a
 Or maybe thara just what Rulway Managament warta the
 engines to think
 Maybe the island of Sodor is the real totalitarian regime,
 and the engine citizens (slaves) are fed propaganda,
 kustrated in belish araes and sulfurie vellows,about how
 ilustrated in helish grays and sulfuric yellows, about how
 bad it is everywhere else, at all the Other Railways.
 You are lucky to be an engine of Seder.
 Railmay Management cares about you
 Tryst Railway Management.
 Stay on Your Track.
 It Could Be So Much Worse.
 connethepaganangel
 Wet the fuck is this train based 1984 bulshit
 Source
 frogand toad are friends
 220440 netes
Thomas and his friends

Thomas and his friends

Bad, Beer, and Life: Guillermo del Toro says he saw a real UFO and it was 'horribly designed' The Shape of Water director Guillermo 2.4K by Laura Hudson/2d m808vthetank: thefingerfuckingfemalefury: elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey: doux-amer: truestoriesaboutme: dragon-in-a-fez: imagine you saw an alien spacecraft and your first reaction was to critique its flat color palette and unimaginative lines The Truth is Out There and It Has Bad Aesthetics Because context actually makes the already great headline even greater: “I know this is horrible,” del Toro continues. “You sound like a complete lunatic, but I saw a UFO. I didn’t want to see a UFO. It was horribly designed. I was with a friend. We bought a six-pack. We didn’t consume it, and there was a place called Cerro del Cuatro, “Mountain of the Four,” on the periphery of Guadalajara. We said, ‘Let’s go to the highway.’ We sit down to watch the stars and have the beer and talk. We were the only guys by the freeway. And we saw a light on the horizon going super-fast, not linear. And I said, ‘Honk and flash the lights.’ And we started honking.” The UFO, says del Toro, “Went from 1,000 meters away [to much closer] in less than a second — and it was so crappy. It was a flying saucer, so clichéd, with lights [blinking]. It’s so sad: I wish I could reveal they’re not what you think they are. They are what you think they are. And the fear we felt was so primal. I have never been that scared in my life. We jumped in the car, drove really fast. It was following us, and then I looked back and it was gone.” (x) the same man that made a movie about making giant robots to fight aliens SAW SOME ALIENS, INSULTED THEIR AESTHETIC, and RAN AWAY SCREAMING “there is intelligent life out there but it’s really fuckin tacky” The real reason we haven’t made official contact with alien life is because they were offended by his remarks and don’t want to come back until we apologise
Bad, Beer, and Life: Guillermo del Toro says he saw a
 real UFO and it was 'horribly
 designed'
 The Shape of Water director Guillermo
 2.4K by Laura Hudson/2d
m808vthetank:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:
elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

doux-amer:

truestoriesaboutme:

dragon-in-a-fez:
imagine you saw an alien spacecraft and your first reaction was to critique its flat color palette and unimaginative lines
The Truth is Out There and It Has Bad Aesthetics

Because context actually makes the already great headline even greater:

“I know this is horrible,” del Toro continues. “You sound like a complete lunatic, but I saw a UFO. I didn’t want to see a UFO. It was horribly designed. I was with a friend. We bought a six-pack. We didn’t consume it, and there was a place called Cerro del Cuatro, “Mountain of the Four,” on the periphery of Guadalajara. We said, ‘Let’s go to the highway.’ We sit down to watch the stars and have the beer and talk. We were the only guys by the freeway. And we saw a light on the horizon going super-fast, not linear. And I said, ‘Honk and flash the lights.’ And we started honking.”
The UFO, says del Toro, “Went from 1,000 meters away [to much closer] in less than a second — and it was so crappy. It was a flying saucer, so clichéd, with lights [blinking]. It’s so sad: I wish I could reveal they’re not what you think they are. They are what you think they are. And the fear we felt was so primal. I have never been that scared in my life. We jumped in the car, drove really fast. It was following us, and then I looked back and it was gone.”
(x)



the same man that made a movie about making giant robots to fight aliens SAW SOME ALIENS, INSULTED THEIR AESTHETIC, and RAN AWAY SCREAMING

“there is intelligent life out there but it’s really fuckin tacky”


The real reason we haven’t made official contact with alien life is because they were offended by his remarks and don’t want to come back until we apologise

m808vthetank: thefingerfuckingfemalefury: elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey: doux-amer: truestoriesaboutme: dragon-in-a-fez: imagine you sa...