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Ass, Books, and Christmas: Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher) Dad: Why the hell did vou put a comma there? Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is? Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time Dad: Who should 1 dress up as for the movie premier? Dad: Hey are you awake? 1 know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. 1 need you to read this report. 1 can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit. Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for doesn't care. 1 hate her Dad: 1 need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet. her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know 1 don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math. Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and 1 have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations. Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book. Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book 1 stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it. Dad: "puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that 1 read them* Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society You aren't my son. Leave Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all 1 can afford, so ... Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass. Dad:I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know Dad: Fuck the government Dad: Fuck the school board. Dad: Close the door Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and 1 hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha, DICKens. Dad:I love puns. Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes Dad: Please shut up Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music Dad: fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and 1 almost told her to get out. Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen. Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too Dad: If1 have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, 1 will kill them both. Dad: They act like 1 care what they think. Dad: I hate homework. Dad: 1 have decided to become a politician. Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed. JAN VIA THISISANATATTACK "I TEACH SO MANY ALESHAS SO MANY 399a2NOTE An English teacher, uncensored
Ass, Books, and Christmas: Actual Quotes from my Dad (An
 English Teacher)
 Dad: Why the hell did vou put a comma there?
 Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
 Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time
 Dad: Who should 1 dress up as for the movie premier?
 Dad: Hey are you awake? 1 know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right?
 Yeah. 1 need you to read this report. 1 can't tell if I am just super tired or if
 this is actual bullshit.
 Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for
 doesn't care. 1 hate her
 Dad: 1 need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
 her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she
 Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know 1 don't like tattoos
 and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
 Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today
 Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and 1 have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great
 Expectations.
 Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
 Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book 1 stole from Mrs.
 Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
 Dad: "puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that 1
 read them*
 Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society
 You aren't my son. Leave
 Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get
 discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all 1 can
 afford, so
 ...
 Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
 Dad:I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really
 need to know
 Dad: Fuck the government
 Dad: Fuck the school board.
 Dad: Close the door
 Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and 1 hate him, but he
 also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha, DICKens.
 Dad:I love puns.
 Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes
 Dad: Please shut up
 Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels
 weird
 Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change
 your ringtones to inappropriate rap music
 Dad: fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of
 Austria-Hungary today and 1 almost told her to get out.
 Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there
 Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
 Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm
 too
 Dad: If1 have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one
 more dance, 1 will kill them both.
 Dad: They act like 1 care what they think.
 Dad: I hate homework.
 Dad: 1 have decided to become a politician.
 Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and
 the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman?
 Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.
 JAN
 VIA THISISANATATTACK
 "I TEACH SO MANY ALESHAS
 SO MANY
 399a2NOTE
An English teacher, uncensored

An English teacher, uncensored

Memes, Stephen, and Watch Me: I LOST A BET 10 watch me almost get arrested in link in bio πŸ‘†πŸΌπŸ˜«πŸŒπŸ¦FML @stephen_hilton_
Memes, Stephen, and Watch Me: I LOST A BET
 10
watch me almost get arrested in link in bio πŸ‘†πŸΌπŸ˜«πŸŒπŸ¦FML @stephen_hilton_

watch me almost get arrested in link in bio πŸ‘†πŸΌπŸ˜«πŸŒπŸ¦FML @stephen_hilton_