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Bad, Beer, and Life: Guillermo del Toro says he saw a real UFO and it was 'horribly designed' The Shape of Water director Guillermo 2.4K by Laura Hudson/2d elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey: doux-amer: truestoriesaboutme: dragon-in-a-fez: imagine you saw an alien spacecraft and your first reaction was to critique its flat color palette and unimaginative lines The Truth is Out There and It Has Bad Aesthetics Because context actually makes the already great headline even greater: “I know this is horrible,” del Toro continues. “You sound like a complete lunatic, but I saw a UFO. I didn’t want to see a UFO. It was horribly designed. I was with a friend. We bought a six-pack. We didn’t consume it, and there was a place called Cerro del Cuatro, “Mountain of the Four,” on the periphery of Guadalajara. We said, ‘Let’s go to the highway.’ We sit down to watch the stars and have the beer and talk. We were the only guys by the freeway. And we saw a light on the horizon going super-fast, not linear. And I said, ‘Honk and flash the lights.’ And we started honking.” The UFO, says del Toro, “Went from 1,000 meters away [to much closer] in less than a second — and it was so crappy. It was a flying saucer, so clichéd, with lights [blinking]. It’s so sad: I wish I could reveal they’re not what you think they are. They are what you think they are. And the fear we felt was so primal. I have never been that scared in my life. We jumped in the car, drove really fast. It was following us, and then I looked back and it was gone.” (x) the same man that made a movie about making giant robots to fight aliens SAW SOME ALIENS, INSULTED THEIR AESTHETIC, and RAN AWAY SCREAMING
Bad, Beer, and Life: Guillermo del Toro says he saw a
 real UFO and it was 'horribly
 designed'
 The Shape of Water director Guillermo
 2.4K by Laura Hudson/2d
elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

doux-amer:

truestoriesaboutme:

dragon-in-a-fez:
imagine you saw an alien spacecraft and your first reaction was to critique its flat color palette and unimaginative lines
The Truth is Out There and It Has Bad Aesthetics

Because context actually makes the already great headline even greater:

“I know this is horrible,” del Toro continues. “You sound like a complete lunatic, but I saw a UFO. I didn’t want to see a UFO. It was horribly designed. I was with a friend. We bought a six-pack. We didn’t consume it, and there was a place called Cerro del Cuatro, “Mountain of the Four,” on the periphery of Guadalajara. We said, ‘Let’s go to the highway.’ We sit down to watch the stars and have the beer and talk. We were the only guys by the freeway. And we saw a light on the horizon going super-fast, not linear. And I said, ‘Honk and flash the lights.’ And we started honking.”
The UFO, says del Toro, “Went from 1,000 meters away [to much closer] in less than a second — and it was so crappy. It was a flying saucer, so clichéd, with lights [blinking]. It’s so sad: I wish I could reveal they’re not what you think they are. They are what you think they are. And the fear we felt was so primal. I have never been that scared in my life. We jumped in the car, drove really fast. It was following us, and then I looked back and it was gone.”
(x)



the same man that made a movie about making giant robots to fight aliens SAW SOME ALIENS, INSULTED THEIR AESTHETIC, and RAN AWAY SCREAMING

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey: doux-amer: truestoriesaboutme: dragon-in-a-fez: imagine you saw an alien spacecraft and your first reacti...

Bad, Beer, and Life: Guillermo del Toro says he saw a real UFO and it was 'horribly designed" The Shape of Water director Guillermo 2.4K by Laura Hudson/2d elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey doux-amer truestoriesaboutme dragon-in-a-fez imagine you saw an alien spacecraft and your first reaction was to critique its flat color palette and unimaginative lines The Truth is Out There and It Has Bad Aesthetics Because context actually makes the already great headline even greater: "I know this is horrible, del Toro continues. "You sound like a complete lunatic, but I saw a UFO. I didn't want to see a UFO. It was horribly designed. I was with a friend. We bought a six pack. We didn't consume it, and there was a place called Cerro del Cuatro, "Mountain of the Four," on the periphery of Guadalajara. We said, "Let's go to the highway.' We sit down to watch the stars and have the beer and talk. We were the only guys by the freeway. And we saw a light on the horizon going super-fast, not linear. And I said, "Honk and flash the lights. And we started honking. The UFO, says del Toro, "Went from 1,000 meters away [to much closer] in less than a second and it was so crappy. It was a flying saucer, so clichéd, with lights [blinking]. It's so sadI wish I could reveal they're not what you think they are. They are what you think they are. And the fear we felt was so primal. I have never been that scared in my life. We jumped in the car, drove really fast. It was following us, and then I looked back and it was gone." the same man that made a movie about making giant robots to fight aliens SAW SOME ALIENS INSULTED THEIR AESTHETIC, and RAN AWAY SCREAMING Guillermo del Toro expects better from aliens
Bad, Beer, and Life: Guillermo del Toro says he saw a
 real UFO and it was 'horribly
 designed"
 The Shape of Water director Guillermo
 2.4K by Laura Hudson/2d
 elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey
 doux-amer
 truestoriesaboutme
 dragon-in-a-fez
 imagine you saw an alien spacecraft and your first reaction was to critique its flat color
 palette and unimaginative lines
 The Truth is Out There and It Has Bad Aesthetics
 Because context actually makes the already great headline even greater:
 "I know this is horrible, del Toro continues. "You sound like a complete lunatic, but I saw a
 UFO. I didn't want to see a UFO. It was horribly designed. I was with a friend. We bought a six
 pack. We didn't consume it, and there was a place called Cerro del Cuatro, "Mountain of the
 Four," on the periphery of Guadalajara. We said, "Let's go to the highway.' We sit down to watch
 the stars and have the beer and talk. We were the only guys by the freeway. And we saw a light
 on the horizon going super-fast, not linear. And I said, "Honk and flash the lights. And we
 started honking.
 The UFO, says del Toro, "Went from 1,000 meters away [to much closer] in less than a second
 and it was so crappy. It was a flying saucer, so clichéd, with lights [blinking]. It's so sadI
 wish I could reveal they're not what you think they are. They are what you think they are. And
 the fear we felt was so primal. I have never been that scared in my life. We jumped in the car,
 drove really fast. It was following us, and then I looked back and it was gone."
 the same man that made a movie about making giant robots to fight aliens SAW SOME ALIENS
 INSULTED THEIR AESTHETIC, and RAN AWAY SCREAMING
Guillermo del Toro expects better from aliens

Guillermo del Toro expects better from aliens

America, Bad, and Club: THE PERFECT RESUME FOR SOMEONE WITH NO EXPERIENCE The lavout is clean and easy to read MARIA HUDSON 2. 212-###.#### . emailaddress@marist.edu-LinkedIn URL PUBLIC RELATIONS AND ADVERTISING INTERN Highly motivated communications student seeking internship opportunities in advertising or public relations. Interested in leveraging social media experience and writing skills to positively contribute to an organization's corporate or departmental t includes a link to Maria's professional profile. objectives, while gaining valuable industry experience. Bilingual: fluent in Spanish and English. EDUCATION Marist College Poughkeepsie, NY (Expected Graduation: Spring 2016) Bachelor of Arts (BA.) in communication; concentration in public relations . Cumulative GPA: 3.7/4.0 Morris Hills High School. Rockaway, NJ (Graduation: June 2012) RELEVANT COLLEGE COURSEWORK Writing for College Introduction to Communication Public Presentations Principles of Advertising Maria's goal!s are clear. LEADERSHIP ACTIVITIES AND INTERESTS Member. Public Relations Student Society of America (PRSSA) Poughkeepsie, NY (Spring 2014-present) Secretary. Communication Arts Society Poughkeepsie, NY (Spring 2013- present) Vice President Morris Hills High School Student Council. Rockaway, NJ (2011- 2012) Varsity Member Morris Hills High School Field Hockey Team Rockaway, NJ (Fall 2011) It plays up Maria's selling points 4 ACHIEVEMENTS Dean's List Marist College Poughkeepsie, NY (Spring 2013) Academic Scholarship Marist College Poughkeepsie, NY (2012) National Honor Society Morris Hills High School. Rockaway, NJ (2011- 2012) SKILLS Proficient in Microsoft Office: MS Word MS PowerPoint MS Excel Online Research . Social Media: Twitter·Instagram . Facebook . Tumblr Bilingual: fluent in Spanish (writing and speaking) and English It includes some references to high school WORK EXPERIENCE Applebee's Neighborhood Bar & Grill Parsippany, NJ (Summer 2013) Popular neighborhood restaurant with nearly 2,000 locations across North America Server Successfully multitasked to serve more than one customer at a time and provide a pleasant dining experience · Communicated orders to the kitchen staff and ensured that all orders were accurate and delivered on time .Restocked service areas with supplies. It lists her social media skills. Frog Falls Waterpark Wharton, NJ (Summer 2011, 2012, 2013) Membership-only facility featuring water slides, 25-yard lap lanes, a leisure pool, a lazy river, and a child activity pool Lifeguard Responsible for managing Frog Falls Waterpark's social media accounts: Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram Ensured the safety of all swimmers by recognizing emergencies and responding immediately .Provided First Aid immediately and effectively to injured patrons (Certified in CPR, First Aid, and AED) Enforced all policies and procedures pertaining to aquatic facilities; maintained records, reports and activity logs. It doesn't include a list of references. BUSINESS INSIDER jadelyn: chronic-illness-cat: titleknown: hueva-york: la-bufadora: businessinsider: Infographic: 7 Reasons This Is An Excellent Resume For Someone With No Experience yoooo what i need by tomorrow AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU Reblogging because I WISH I HAD FUCKING KNOWN ABOUT THIS IN HIGH SCHOOL YEARS AGO! Dear sick Kitties, Please save this to your computer because one day you might be well enough to work in some capacity and it’s unfair for you to have blank spots on your resume/CV. You have worth and validity even if you don’t have a huge work history. YOU have value. This is mostly really good, but I have a couple minor disagreements.  So…here are three recommendations from an HR person who reads a shitton of resumes every day: Move the skills section up to the top!  You know what I give a fuck about the most when I’m reading a resume (at least for entry-level positions)?  WHAT YOU CAN DO.  I frankly don’t give a shit where you learned it.  Tell me what you’re capable of in concrete terms, organized in a bullet-points list or table that I can quickly scan to see if you even stand a chance of matching what we need, because that is all I’m doing in those critical first couple of seconds that decides whether I even bother looking at the rest of the resume.  (Which I get sounds kinda callous but when I have to get through a couple dozen resumes, meaning download, open, read, decide what to do, forward it to the appropriate person if it makes the cut with my comments/summary/recommendations, file it appropriately and go on to the next one, and get back to my other duties and responsibilities - which I don’t have enough hours in the day for as it is - I can’t afford to depth-read every single resume that hits my inbox.) Include volunteer experience as work experience if you have any.  Running the concession stand at a high school club event of some kind counts as cash handling and customer service experience.  Making blog themes for your friends counts as web design experience.  Just because you weren’t getting paid doesn’t mean it wasn’t work experience you can potentially leverage to get actual paying work. Rework that top statement - in its current form it’s looking like some odd hybrid of an executive summary (good!) and an objective statement (bad!), and I’m not sure how I feel about it tbh.  I think it’s the “leveraging…to positively contribute” bit that is pushing all my “ugh no fucking shit sherlock” buttons.  Like…what were you going to say, that you want to skate along doing the bare minimum amount of work and you don’t give a shit about the organization’s goals?  I see way too many regurgitated statements like that - “positively contribute” and “maximize success” and “utilize my skills to further goals” etc. - and they just make my eyes roll out of my head at this point because they’re so generically corporate.  I’d rather see a declarative statement about what you are and what you can do, than what you want. However, huge massive bonus points for putting language fluency right there at the top where I don’t have to go hunting for it - language skills are ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS A PLUS and you want to highlight that shit as hard as you can.  Shove that language fluency in my fucking face, PLEASE.  Better that than having to scour your work history for mention of translation or anything like that, which I will only do if I’m A: already liking your qualifications so far, and B: totally fucking desperate for someone who speaks goddamn Spanish already.
America, Bad, and Club: THE PERFECT RESUME FOR
 SOMEONE WITH NO EXPERIENCE
 The lavout is clean
 and easy to read
 MARIA HUDSON
 2.
 212-###.#### . emailaddress@marist.edu-LinkedIn URL
 PUBLIC RELATIONS AND ADVERTISING INTERN
 Highly motivated communications student seeking internship opportunities in advertising or public relations. Interested in
 leveraging social media experience and writing skills to positively contribute to an organization's corporate or departmental
 t includes a link to
 Maria's professional
 profile.
 objectives, while gaining valuable industry experience. Bilingual: fluent in Spanish and English.
 EDUCATION
 Marist College Poughkeepsie, NY (Expected Graduation: Spring 2016)
 Bachelor of Arts (BA.) in communication; concentration in public relations . Cumulative GPA: 3.7/4.0
 Morris Hills High School. Rockaway, NJ (Graduation: June 2012)
 RELEVANT COLLEGE COURSEWORK
 Writing for College Introduction to Communication Public Presentations Principles of Advertising
 Maria's goal!s
 are clear.
 LEADERSHIP ACTIVITIES AND INTERESTS
 Member. Public Relations Student Society of America (PRSSA) Poughkeepsie, NY (Spring 2014-present)
 Secretary. Communication Arts Society Poughkeepsie, NY (Spring 2013- present)
 Vice President Morris Hills High School Student Council. Rockaway, NJ (2011- 2012)
 Varsity Member Morris Hills High School Field Hockey Team Rockaway, NJ (Fall 2011)
 It plays up Maria's
 selling points
 4
 ACHIEVEMENTS
 Dean's List Marist College Poughkeepsie, NY (Spring 2013)
 Academic Scholarship Marist College Poughkeepsie, NY (2012)
 National Honor Society Morris Hills High School. Rockaway, NJ (2011- 2012)
 SKILLS
 Proficient in Microsoft Office: MS Word MS PowerPoint MS Excel
 Online Research . Social Media: Twitter·Instagram . Facebook . Tumblr
 Bilingual: fluent in Spanish (writing and speaking) and English
 It includes some
 references to high
 school
 WORK EXPERIENCE
 Applebee's Neighborhood Bar & Grill Parsippany, NJ (Summer 2013)
 Popular neighborhood restaurant with nearly 2,000 locations across North America
 Server
 Successfully multitasked to serve more than one customer at a time and provide a pleasant dining experience
 ·
 Communicated orders to the kitchen staff and ensured that all orders were accurate and delivered on time
 .Restocked service areas with supplies.
 It lists her social
 media skills.
 Frog Falls Waterpark Wharton, NJ (Summer 2011, 2012, 2013)
 Membership-only facility featuring water slides, 25-yard lap lanes, a leisure pool, a lazy river, and a child activity pool
 Lifeguard
 Responsible for managing Frog Falls Waterpark's social media accounts: Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram
 Ensured the safety of all swimmers by recognizing emergencies and responding immediately
 .Provided First Aid immediately and effectively to injured patrons (Certified in CPR, First Aid, and AED)
 Enforced all policies and procedures pertaining to aquatic facilities; maintained records, reports and activity logs.
 It doesn't include a
 list of references.
 BUSINESS INSIDER
jadelyn:
chronic-illness-cat:


titleknown:

hueva-york:

la-bufadora:

businessinsider:

Infographic: 7 Reasons This Is An Excellent Resume For Someone With No Experience

yoooo what i need by tomorrow

AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

Reblogging because I WISH I HAD FUCKING KNOWN ABOUT THIS IN HIGH SCHOOL YEARS AGO!


Dear sick Kitties, Please save this to your computer because one day you might be well enough to work in some capacity and it’s unfair for you to have blank spots on your resume/CV. You have worth and validity even if you don’t have a huge work history. YOU have value.


This is mostly really good, but I have a couple minor disagreements.  So…here are three recommendations from an HR person who reads a shitton of resumes every day:

Move the skills section up to the top!  You know what I give a fuck about the most when I’m reading a resume (at least for entry-level positions)?  WHAT YOU CAN DO.  I frankly don’t give a shit where you learned it.  Tell me what you’re capable of in concrete terms, organized in a bullet-points list or table that I can quickly scan to see if you even stand a chance of matching what we need, because that is all I’m doing in those critical first couple of seconds that decides whether I even bother looking at the rest of the resume.  (Which I get sounds kinda callous but when I have to get through a couple dozen resumes, meaning download, open, read, decide what to do, forward it to the appropriate person if it makes the cut with my comments/summary/recommendations, file it appropriately and go on to the next one, and get back to my other duties and responsibilities - which I don’t have enough hours in the day for as it is - I can’t afford to depth-read every single resume that hits my inbox.)

Include volunteer experience as work experience if you have any.  Running the concession stand at a high school club event of some kind counts as cash handling and customer service experience.  Making blog themes for your friends counts as web design experience.  Just because you weren’t getting paid doesn’t mean it wasn’t work experience you can potentially leverage to get actual paying work.

Rework that top statement - in its current form it’s looking like some odd hybrid of an executive summary (good!) and an objective statement (bad!), and I’m not sure how I feel about it tbh.  I think it’s the “leveraging…to positively contribute” bit that is pushing all my “ugh no fucking shit sherlock” buttons.  Like…what were you going to say, that you want to skate along doing the bare minimum amount of work and you don’t give a shit about the organization’s goals?  I see way too many regurgitated statements like that - “positively contribute” and “maximize success” and “utilize my skills to further goals” etc. - and they just make my eyes roll out of my head at this point because they’re so generically corporate.  I’d rather see a declarative statement about what you are and what you can do, than what you want.
However, huge massive bonus points for putting language fluency right there at the top where I don’t have to go hunting for it - language skills are ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS A PLUS and you want to highlight that shit as hard as you can.  Shove that language fluency in my fucking face, PLEASE.  Better that than having to scour your work history for mention of translation or anything like that, which I will only do if I’m A: already liking your qualifications so far, and B: totally fucking desperate for someone who speaks goddamn Spanish already.

jadelyn: chronic-illness-cat: titleknown: hueva-york: la-bufadora: businessinsider: Infographic: 7 Reasons This Is An Excellent Resume...