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Beautiful, Community, and God: 21 Answers votes oldest newest You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions. Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide. The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus-regexp will liquify the nerves of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the onslaught of horror. Regex-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how can anyone survive this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the dread realm of čorrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of reg ex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes-the pestilent slithy regex-infection will devour your HTML parser, application and existence for all time like Vişual Basic only worse he comes he comes do not fight he comes, his uņholy radiance destroping all enlightenment, HTML tags leaking frọm your eyesiike liquid pain, the song of regular expression parsing-will extinguish the voices of mortal man from the sphere I can see it can you see t it is beautiful the f inal snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL ĮS LOSTALL IS LOST the pony he comes he comes hejcemes the ichor permeates al MY FACEFACEh god no NO NOOoo Ne stop the an ges aře not reâj ZALGO IS TON THË PONY, HECOMES 1811 Have you tried using an XML parser instead? link edit flag edited Nov 14 at 0:18 community wiki bobince regex and html
Beautiful, Community, and God: 21 Answers
 votes
 oldest
 newest
 You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that
 can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many
 times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is
 insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular
 language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break
 down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular
 regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me
 crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even
 Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions. Every time you attempt to parse HTML with
 regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp.
 Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together
 like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide. The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and
 HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you
 parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to
 inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes.
 HTML-plus-regexp will liquify the nerves of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the
 onslaught of horror. Regex-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late
 it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living tissue
 (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how can anyone survive
 this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and
 security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the
 dread realm of čorrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of reg
 ex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless
 screaming, he comes-the pestilent slithy regex-infection will devour your HTML parser, application and
 existence for all time like Vişual Basic only worse he comes he comes do not fight he comes, his uņholy
 radiance destroping all enlightenment, HTML tags leaking frọm your eyesiike liquid pain, the song of
 regular expression parsing-will extinguish the voices of mortal man from the sphere I can see it can you
 see t it is beautiful the f inal snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL ĮS LOSTALL IS LOST the pony he
 comes he comes hejcemes the ichor permeates al MY FACEFACEh god no NO NOOoo Ne
 stop the an ges aře not reâj ZALGO IS TON THË PONY, HECOMES
 1811
 Have you tried using an XML parser instead?
 link edit flag
 edited Nov 14 at 0:18
 community wiki
 bobince
regex and html

regex and html

Android, Church, and Life: KEA @KEA_HGA How can this be explained? Same location. Same destination. Same account. Different phones. Different prices l45% 14:24 ae 1 90%+ 14:24 hITArtelTigo Madina University of Ghana, Legon Haatso My location > N4 6 6 MIN My Location Taifa min EAST L Kotoka InternaHonal Arport N1 NI AYAWASO Lapaz Accra Accra osu NIMA CANTONMENTS Rev. Lartey Adotey Apostolic Church> G NORTH AIDGE LABADI Bolt Comfort ST AIDGE OSU GHC 21 GHO 23 Rev, Lartey Adotey Apostolic Church > GHC 25 G 16 MIN 6 MIN Bolt Comfort Cash -GHC 2 PROMO GHC 24 GHC 28 GHC 26 16 MIN 6 MIN SELECT BOLT Cash GHC 2 PROMO SELECT BOLT O Doxologist @Prestige_T The phone on the left has lower battery than the phone on the right. Bolt, Uber, etc raise their prices relative to your battery level (yes, they can do that and they do). KEA @KEA_HGA Sep 17 How can this be explained? Same location. Same destination. Same account. Different phones. Different prices. sotoke nteraa Accra Acgrs Rev Lartey Adetoy Apestolc Church Bolt Comfort GHE 21 RLarty AeteyApestole Church l6 MIN 6 MIN Bolt Confort Cash OHt 2 ROMO GHE 24 GHE 6 MIND SELECT BOLT Cash eRO SELECT BOLT 10:10 PM Sep 18, 2019 Twitter for Android Doxologist @Prestige T Just for some proof. independent.co.uk/life-style/gad.. Uber tried to BS themselves by saying they don't use battery level to make fares more expensive (which back then they di..), but also said "it's a strong predictor" on surge sensitivity - showing they actively collect and use it. BER Uber knows when your phone is about to die Uber knows when the battery on your phone is running low - and that you are more likely to pay higher "surge" prices for a car as a result. The taxi-hailing app.. independent.co.uk 3:58 PM Sep 19, 2019 Twitter for Android uncommonbish: https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/news/uber-knows-when-your-phone-is-about-to-run-out-of-battery-a7042416.html ?? Capitalism ??  wants ??  to ?? fuck ?? you ?? all  ?? the ??  time. ??
Android, Church, and Life: KEA
 @KEA_HGA
 How can this be explained? Same location. Same
 destination. Same account. Different phones. Different
 prices

 l45%
 14:24
 ae 1 90%+
 14:24
 hITArtelTigo
 Madina
 University of
 Ghana, Legon
 Haatso
 My location >
 N4 6
 6 MIN
 My Location
 Taifa
 min
 EAST L
 Kotoka
 InternaHonal
 Arport
 N1
 NI
 AYAWASO
 Lapaz
 Accra
 Accra
 osu
 NIMA
 CANTONMENTS
 Rev. Lartey Adotey Apostolic Church>
 G
 NORTH AIDGE
 LABADI
 Bolt
 Comfort
 ST AIDGE
 OSU
 GHC 21
 GHO 23
 Rev, Lartey Adotey Apostolic Church >
 GHC 25
 G
 16 MIN
 6 MIN
 Bolt
 Comfort
 Cash
 -GHC 2 PROMO
 GHC 24
 GHC 28
 GHC 26
 16 MIN
 6 MIN
 SELECT BOLT
 Cash
 GHC 2 PROMO
 SELECT BOLT
 O

 Doxologist
 @Prestige_T
 The phone on the left has lower battery than the phone
 on the right. Bolt, Uber, etc raise their prices relative to
 your battery level (yes, they can do that and they do).
 KEA @KEA_HGA Sep 17
 How can this be explained? Same location. Same destination. Same account.
 Different phones. Different prices.
 sotoke
 nteraa
 Accra
 Acgrs
 Rev Lartey Adetoy Apestolc Church
 Bolt
 Comfort
 GHE 21
 RLarty AeteyApestole Church
 l6 MIN
 6 MIN
 Bolt
 Confort
 Cash
 OHt 2 ROMO
 GHE 24
 GHE
 6 MIND
 SELECT BOLT
 Cash
 eRO
 SELECT BOLT
 10:10 PM Sep 18, 2019 Twitter for Android

 Doxologist
 @Prestige T
 Just for some proof. independent.co.uk/life-style/gad..
 Uber tried to BS themselves by saying they don't use
 battery level to make fares more expensive (which back
 then they di..), but also said "it's a strong predictor"
 on surge sensitivity - showing they actively collect and
 use it.
 BER
 Uber knows when your phone is about to die
 Uber knows when the battery on your phone is running low - and that you are
 more likely to pay higher "surge" prices for a car as a result. The taxi-hailing app..
 independent.co.uk
 3:58 PM Sep 19, 2019 Twitter for Android
uncommonbish:
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/news/uber-knows-when-your-phone-is-about-to-run-out-of-battery-a7042416.html
??

Capitalism
??  wants 
?? 

to
??

 fuck 
??

you
??

 all 
??

 the 
?? 

time.
??

uncommonbish: https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/news/uber-knows-when-your-phone-is-about-to-run-out-of-battery-a7042...

Ass, Click, and Energy: Portia Moemedi Follow @PortiaMoemedi Best thing I have read today innabitots Female chief in Malawi breaks up 850 child marriages and sends girls back to school NEWS 10:34 PM - 17 Dec 2018 13,017 Retweets 23,993 Likes aly Follow @AFRODREAMBOY Respect her and say her name: Theresa Kachindamoto. Portia Moemedi @PortiaMoemedi Female chief in Melawi breaks Best thing I have read today up 850 child marnieges and sends gils beck to school Show this thread 8:53 AM - 19 Dec 2018 33,209 Retweets 77,679 Likes hot-chubbies-with-cheese: cocoartistwrites: stained-glass-rose: taramaclaywasaterf: thatpettyblackgirl: This is powerful. BlackGirlsMagic This is a real queen I know I say this every time, but I’m saying it again: THEY DONT PUT NAMES IN HEADLINES UNLESS ITS AN INSTANTLY RECOGNIZABLE NAME. They’re not being disrespectful. That’s just how headlines work. They’re not gonna write “John Smith Saves Toddler From a Well” they’re gonna write “Pennsylvania Man Saves Toddler From Well” and then put his name in the article. Most people aren’t gonna click a link/continue reading an article that says John Smith, because who the fuck is that, and why do I care about him? Now, if it was, like, Kim Kardashian saving a kid from a well, you bet your ass they’re gonna put her name in the headline. That’s clickbait GOLD. Her name is instantly recognizable. We know who she is, and we wanna read on. Again, I’m saying this because, if we focus on the headline not saying Theresa’s name…it completely detracts the focus off the fact that this woman is a damn hero. We’re more upset and angry that she’s been “disrespected” (even though she hasn’t) by the, like, first rule of writing headlines, instead of saying “hey, she is saving these young girl’s lives, how can we help her?” Basically, share the article. Spread her message, share her story, and make Theresa’s name so goddamn well known that the next article that’s written about her WILL have her name in the headline. Also @ anyone who says “why don’t they say their name!!!!” Consider this: If you actually click on the damn thing and READ the article, I can guarantee you will learn the person’s name. It WILL be within the body of the article itself. So why are y’all acting like it’s a big mystery/ they’re deliberately erasing them or something? Aren’t you reading the article? If it really was so important to you, it shouldn’t take more than 5 minutes to read and learn her name, instead of you know, sharing it without reading it for woke points. 👀👀👀👀👀 Hello I’m a journalist and this is exactly right. Names are news but only if people know them already. I’m so tired of seeing this all the time. It’s a completely nonsense thing to get mad about. Put your energy into something more important - like calling the media out for not covering enough of this. But not for not putting an unknown woman in a headline. QUEEN
Ass, Click, and Energy: Portia Moemedi
 Follow
 @PortiaMoemedi
 Best thing I have read today
 innabitots
 Female chief in Malawi breaks
 up 850 child marriages and
 sends girls back to school
 NEWS
 10:34 PM - 17 Dec 2018
 13,017 Retweets 23,993 Likes

 aly
 Follow
 @AFRODREAMBOY
 Respect her and say her name:
 Theresa Kachindamoto.
 Portia Moemedi @PortiaMoemedi
 Female chief in Melawi breaks
 Best thing I have read today
 up 850 child marnieges and
 sends gils beck to school
 Show this thread
 8:53 AM - 19 Dec 2018
 33,209 Retweets 77,679 Likes
hot-chubbies-with-cheese:
cocoartistwrites:

stained-glass-rose:

taramaclaywasaterf:

thatpettyblackgirl:



This is powerful.


BlackGirlsMagic This is a real queen



I know I say this every time, but I’m saying it again: THEY DONT PUT NAMES IN HEADLINES UNLESS ITS AN INSTANTLY RECOGNIZABLE NAME. They’re not being disrespectful. That’s just how headlines work. They’re not gonna write “John Smith Saves Toddler From a Well” they’re gonna write “Pennsylvania Man Saves Toddler From Well” and then put his name in the article. Most people aren’t gonna click a link/continue reading an article that says John Smith, because who the fuck is that, and why do I care about him? Now, if it was, like, Kim Kardashian saving a kid from a well, you bet your ass they’re gonna put her name in the headline. That’s clickbait GOLD. Her name is instantly recognizable. We know who she is, and we wanna read on.


Again, I’m saying this because, if we focus on the headline not saying Theresa’s name…it completely detracts the focus off the fact that this woman is a damn hero. We’re more upset and angry that she’s been “disrespected” (even though she hasn’t) by the, like, first rule of writing headlines, instead of saying “hey, she is saving these young girl’s lives, how can we help her?” Basically, share the article. Spread her message, share her story, and make Theresa’s name so goddamn well known that the next article that’s written about her WILL have her name in the headline.


Also @ anyone who says “why don’t they say their name!!!!” Consider this:
If you actually click on the damn thing and READ the article, I can guarantee you will learn the person’s name. It WILL be within the body of the article itself. So why are y’all acting like it’s a big mystery/ they’re deliberately erasing them or something? 
Aren’t you reading the article? If it really was so important to you, it shouldn’t take more than 5 minutes to read and learn her name, instead of you know, sharing it without reading it for woke points. 👀👀👀👀👀


Hello I’m a journalist and this is exactly right. Names are news but only if people know them already. I’m so tired of seeing this all the time. It’s a completely nonsense thing to get mad about. Put your energy into something more important - like calling the media out for not covering enough of this. But not for not putting an unknown woman in a headline. 


QUEEN

hot-chubbies-with-cheese: cocoartistwrites: stained-glass-rose: taramaclaywasaterf: thatpettyblackgirl: This is powerful. BlackGirls...

Apparently, Chris Evans, and Fuck You: Jennifer Medina @jenniferjmedina Yup, looks about what was expected. Steven Pruitt has made nearly 3 million edits on Wikipedia and writtern 35,000 original articles all for free. CBSNEWS.COM Meet the man behind a third of what's on Wikipedia George @geochirper this tweet is fucking horrible this man is literally providing the world with free knowledge and you think criticising his appearance is funny? Fuck you lesbiansandpuns: naamahdarling: infowarts: infowarts: wormbabie: concretecatholic: celticpyro: positive-memes: People should thank this man Sorry Jennifer not everybody can look like Chris Evans while doing a huge service to the general public. Anyway this guy is amazing. Did you see the video? He has such a glowing personality and his eagerness to share knowledge is infectious. some people will take any chance they can to dehumanize fat people theres also been a motion to write more articles about women because the gap in articles about men vs articles about women is astronomically huge, and he’s written hundreds or thousands of them and is a huge proponent of this. he’s done a lot of great work and he spends countless hours a day researching things so that we have access to that knowledge. he’s a hero. he doesnt do it for money either, tho apparently his regular job also involves research. but he does this purely because he believes in how important it is for information to be free. he’s done 600 articles on women as a part of this push for more He looks like a nice guy and I know people like to sneer at it but Wikipedia is a good, ACCESSIBLE starting point for learning about things, so like, haters can fuck all the way off. “How much money do you make from this?”“None.” “So why do you do it?” “The idea of it, making it all free, fascinates me. My mother grew up in the Soviet Union. So I’m very conscious of what it can mean to make knowledge free. To make information free.”  how can you hear that and think anything other than that this is a brilliant, kind, generous man
Apparently, Chris Evans, and Fuck You: Jennifer Medina
 @jenniferjmedina
 Yup, looks about what was expected.
 Steven Pruitt has made nearly 3 million edits on Wikipedia and writtern
 35,000 original articles all for free.
 CBSNEWS.COM
 Meet the man behind a third of what's on Wikipedia
 George
 @geochirper
 this tweet is fucking horrible this man is
 literally providing the world with free
 knowledge and you think criticising his
 appearance is funny? Fuck you
lesbiansandpuns:

naamahdarling:

infowarts:

infowarts:

wormbabie:

concretecatholic:

celticpyro:


positive-memes:
People should thank this man
Sorry Jennifer not everybody can look like Chris Evans while doing a huge service to the general public. 
Anyway this guy is amazing.


Did you see the video? He has such a glowing personality and his eagerness to share knowledge is infectious. 


some people will take any chance they can to dehumanize fat people  

theres also been a motion to write more articles about women because the gap in articles about men vs articles about women is astronomically huge, and he’s written hundreds or thousands of them and is a huge proponent of this. he’s done a lot of great work and he spends countless hours a day researching things so that we have access to that knowledge. he’s a hero. he doesnt do it for money either, tho apparently his regular job also involves research. but he does this purely because he believes in how important it is for information to be free. 

he’s done 600 articles on women as a part of this push for more

He looks like a nice guy and I know people like to sneer at it but Wikipedia is a good, ACCESSIBLE starting point for learning about things, so like, haters can fuck all the way off.

“How much money do you make from this?”“None.”
“So why do you do it?”
“The idea of it, making it all free, fascinates me. My mother grew up in the Soviet Union. So I’m very conscious of what it can mean to make knowledge free. To make information free.” 
how can you hear that and think anything other than that this is a brilliant, kind, generous man

lesbiansandpuns: naamahdarling: infowarts: infowarts: wormbabie: concretecatholic: celticpyro: positive-memes: People should thank t...