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Definitely, Grandma, and Hello: coastward answered a scam call today and had the most bizarre conversation coastward scam caller: hello, how are you today? me: great! scam caller: good. I'm calling because your IP address has been compromised. I'll just need you to get in front of your computer so we can get your account fixed up me: okay! there is one thing I'm wondering, though scam caller: what? me: you really couldn't think of a better lie? scam caller: me: like, my "IP address has been compromised." How, exactly, does an IP address become "compromised"? scam caller: me: I was just wondering, is all scam caller: why did you answer? me: me: what? scam caller: if you knew this wasn't a legitimate call, then why did you answer? me: oh, I just though I would have some fun at your expense scam caller: what expense? talking is no expense to me. me: well, you're currently not accomplishing your goal scam caller: my goal? me: your goal of scamming my elderly grandmother. You're not accomplishing that. Il'd call that an expense scam caller: well, can I scam you? me: me: did you- did you ask if you can scam me? scam caller: yes. can I scam you? me, baffled: sure, you can try scam caller: you need to get in front of your computer me: yeah, that's still a problem. I'm eating tater tots right now andI really don't feel like getting up scam caller: okay. I will call you tomorrow morning, then me: I might not answer. My grandma definitely won't. scam caller: You answered today. me: .touché? scam caller: I will call you tomorrow. Have a good day. neko-ritsu Enemies to lovers, slow burn, 500K
Definitely, Grandma, and Hello: coastward
 answered a scam call today and had the most bizarre
 conversation
 coastward
 scam caller: hello, how are you today?
 me: great!
 scam caller: good. I'm calling because your IP
 address has been compromised. I'll just need you to
 get in front of your computer so we can get your
 account fixed up
 me: okay! there is one thing I'm wondering, though
 scam caller: what?
 me: you really couldn't think of a better lie?
 scam caller:
 me: like, my "IP address has been compromised."
 How, exactly, does an IP address become
 "compromised"?
 scam caller:
 me: I was just wondering, is all
 scam caller: why did you answer?
 me:
 me: what?
 scam caller: if you knew this wasn't a legitimate call,
 then why did you answer?
 me: oh, I just though I would have some fun at your
 expense
 scam caller: what expense? talking is no expense to
 me.
 me: well, you're currently not accomplishing your
 goal
 scam caller: my goal?
 me: your goal of scamming my elderly grandmother.
 You're not accomplishing that. Il'd call that an
 expense
 scam caller: well, can I scam you?
 me:
 me: did you- did you ask if you can scam me?
 scam caller: yes. can I scam you?
 me, baffled: sure, you can try
 scam caller: you need to get in front of your
 computer
 me: yeah, that's still a problem. I'm eating tater tots
 right now andI really don't feel like getting up
 scam caller: okay. I will call you tomorrow morning,
 then
 me: I might not answer. My grandma definitely
 won't.
 scam caller: You answered today.
 me: .touché?
 scam caller: I will call you tomorrow. Have a good
 day.
 neko-ritsu
 Enemies to lovers, slow burn, 500K

Facebook, Fanta, and Job Interview: Remember, every question is a test so when they say "How are you?" reply "Goal ori tated, thank you." Make a point of mentioning you failed Reli- gious Studies and say The only thing I wor- ship is productivity." 2 thumbs up. Show you're good at delegating respon bility by sending someone else to the in terview Employers check Facebook accounts so make sure all your photos show you looking at a spreadsheet and punching the air. Always make eye contact and if you have two interviewers, train your eyes to work independently like a chameleon. Tell them you're not an applicánt, you're a appliCAN. Lick your finger, hold it against buttock. Make sizzling noise. When asked why you'd be suited to the job, pass an ancient scroll along the desk& say It was foretold." Stare at them. If you're meeting 3 interviewers, bring in a 4 finger Kitkat. Take charge of di ng Kitkat to emphasise leadership. If asked where you see yourself in 5 yrs time, tip them out of their chair, sit on it & say 'Here'. Break open a Fanta. At the beginning, try to make small talk with your interviewer such as "lovely day!" or "you look like my real father. When asked to describe yourself in 5 words say "Atrocious counting skills". Laugh. Open packet of Mini Eggs. When asked if you found the place OK, say I was driven here by cab. Normally of course I'm driven by results!" 4 winks Know the interviewer's name and use it during the interview. If you're not sure what it is, call them Jobsy" or "Jobbo". THE META PICTURE awesomesthesia: Some Good Job Interview Tips
nsfw
Facebook, Fanta, and Job Interview: Remember, every question is a test so when
 they say "How are you?" reply "Goal ori
 tated, thank you."
 Make a point of mentioning you failed Reli-
 gious Studies and say The only thing I wor-
 ship is productivity." 2 thumbs up.
 Show you're good at delegating respon
 bility by sending someone else to the in
 terview
 Employers check Facebook accounts so
 make sure all your photos show you looking
 at a spreadsheet and punching the air.
 Always make eye contact and if you have
 two interviewers, train your eyes to
 work independently like a chameleon.
 Tell them you're not an applicánt, you're a
 appliCAN. Lick your finger, hold it against
 buttock. Make sizzling noise.
 When asked why you'd be suited to the job,
 pass an ancient scroll along the desk& say
 It was foretold." Stare at them.
 If you're meeting 3 interviewers, bring in a 4
 finger Kitkat. Take charge of di
 ng
 Kitkat to emphasise leadership.
 If asked where you see yourself in 5 yrs
 time, tip them out of their chair, sit on it &
 say 'Here'. Break open a Fanta.
 At the beginning, try to make small talk
 with your interviewer such as "lovely day!"
 or "you look like my real father.
 When asked to describe yourself in 5 words
 say "Atrocious counting skills". Laugh. Open
 packet of Mini Eggs.
 When asked if you found the place OK, say
 I was driven here by cab. Normally of
 course I'm driven by results!" 4 winks
 Know the interviewer's name and use it
 during the interview. If you're not sure
 what it is, call them Jobsy" or "Jobbo".
 THE META PICTURE
awesomesthesia:

Some Good Job Interview Tips

awesomesthesia: Some Good Job Interview Tips