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Birthday, Comfortable, and Dicks: Excuse generator Use your birthday to generate an excuse January February March April May June 16 I don't give a shit 17 I was drunk I'm sorry I'm soooo sorry Honestly... You know what? 1 I didn't feel like it 2 forgot 3 I rewatched GBBO 18 It was far too boring 19 I just found out l'm a ghost instead 4 I watched porn instead 20 My dong was too itchy 5 I do what I want Hey, fuck you buddy Don't look at me like that It won't happen again, but 21 I spent the night learning to 6 *points at crotch* 7 I have diarrhoea riverdance 22 It's none of your concern! ul 8 My fucking dog ate it 23 Your expectations are too high 9 Homework is for dicks 24 You're not the boss of me 10 It's none of your August Look me in the eye September You know why, Bob?! October For the last time November think you know December You wanna know why 25 I am filled with existential angst 26 I'm too cool for this shit. business. 11 I've been thinking a lot 27 My STls are acting up 28 My bed is too comfortable 29 Why don't you ask your mum about Brexit I didn't do your stupid 12 Yolo. Yolo 13 I'm not a dork 14 Shut up, that's why. 15 l have a life why I didn't do it? SM.S 30 It would have been shit anyway. 31 I didn't feel like doing something STUDENT MONEY SAVER dumb today queenof-theclouds14: late-to-everything: fatmomsgetfit: I thinkĀ ā€œHey, fuck you, buddy. I spent the night learning to riverdance,ā€ is going to be my go-to excuse for everything, now. ā€“AW Hey, fuck you buddy. Shut up, thatā€™s why. I am not this hostile what is this sorceryĀ  You know what? I donā€™t give a shit You know what? I watched porn instead. is the most accurate fucking thing Ive ever gotten out of these things
Birthday, Comfortable, and Dicks: Excuse generator
 Use your birthday to generate an excuse
 January
 February
 March
 April
 May
 June
 16 I don't give a shit
 17 I was drunk
 I'm sorry
 I'm soooo sorry
 Honestly...
 You know what?
 1 I didn't feel like it
 2 forgot
 3 I rewatched GBBO
 18 It was far too boring
 19 I just found out l'm a ghost
 instead
 4 I watched porn instead 20 My dong was too itchy
 5 I do what I want
 Hey, fuck you buddy
 Don't look at me like
 that
 It won't happen again,
 but
 21 I spent the night learning to
 6 *points at crotch*
 7 I have diarrhoea
 riverdance
 22 It's none of your concern!
 ul
 8 My fucking dog ate it 23 Your expectations are too high
 9 Homework is for dicks 24 You're not the boss of me
 10 It's none of your
 August Look me in the eye
 September You know why, Bob?!
 October For the last time
 November think you know
 December You wanna know why
 25 I am filled with existential angst
 26 I'm too cool for this shit.
 business.
 11 I've been thinking a lot 27 My STls are acting up
 28 My bed is too comfortable
 29 Why don't you ask your mum
 about Brexit
 I didn't do your stupid
 12 Yolo. Yolo
 13 I'm not a dork
 14 Shut up, that's why.
 15 l have a life
 why I didn't do it?
 SM.S
 30 It would have been shit anyway.
 31 I didn't feel like doing something
 STUDENT MONEY SAVER
 dumb today
queenof-theclouds14:

late-to-everything:
fatmomsgetfit:
I thinkĀ ā€œHey, fuck you, buddy. I spent the night learning to riverdance,ā€ is going to be my go-to excuse for everything, now. ā€“AW
Hey, fuck you buddy. Shut up, thatā€™s why.
I am not this hostile what is this sorceryĀ 

You know what? I donā€™t give a shit

You know what? I watched porn instead. is the most accurate fucking thing Ive ever gotten out of these things

queenof-theclouds14: late-to-everything: fatmomsgetfit: I thinkĀ ā€œHey, fuck you, buddy. I spent the night learning to riverdance,ā€ is going ...

Crazy, My House, and Police: An actual e-mail I had to send to my professor yesterday. Class tonight - SWAT Today at 3:57 PM Good afternoon Professor I know this is going to sound crazy but there is a sniper team outside of my house right now. They've been there for about 2 hours now and it's not clear whether or not they will still be there by 6. I live in if you'd like to check with police. In the event that there is still a SWAT operation around my house by the time I need to leave for class would you consider excusing me for the day if I send you my completed assignments? Again, I know this is a strange situation but I'd rather not leave the house at the moment. His response.. Yesterday Details To: Lordy Mercy- this is the first time I have gotten this excuse for not coming to class!! Of course I will excuse you. DO NOT leave your house until the danger is over. Send me your homework, but be sure to talk with someone about tonight's class. The take- home portion of the final will be posted. Please let me know that you are OK, when this is all resolved. Also, I am glad they are pointed away from your house! tastefullyoffensive: ā€œSome guy a few houses down barricaded himself in his house with an assault rifle. Fortunately, they got him (or he gave himself up) without any shots fired or anyone getting hurt.ā€ -Ā SgtScheisskopf
Crazy, My House, and Police: An actual e-mail I had to send to my professor
 yesterday.
 Class tonight - SWAT
 Today at 3:57 PM
 Good afternoon Professor
 I know this is going to sound crazy but there is a
 sniper team outside of my house right now. They've
 been there for about 2 hours now and it's not clear
 whether or not they will still be there by 6. I live in
 if you'd like to check with
 police. In the event that there is still a SWAT
 operation around my house by the time I need to
 leave for class would you consider excusing me for
 the day if I send you my completed assignments?
 Again, I know this is a strange situation but I'd rather
 not leave the house at the moment.

 His response..
 Yesterday
 Details
 To:
 Lordy Mercy- this is the first time I have gotten
 this excuse for not coming to class!!
 Of course I will excuse you. DO NOT leave your
 house until the danger is over.
 Send me your homework, but be sure to talk
 with someone about tonight's class. The take-
 home portion of the final will be posted.
 Please let me know that you are OK, when this
 is all resolved. Also, I am glad they are pointed
 away from your house!
tastefullyoffensive:
ā€œSome guy a few houses down barricaded himself in his house with an assault rifle. Fortunately, they got him (or he gave himself up) without any shots fired or anyone getting hurt.ā€ -Ā SgtScheisskopf

tastefullyoffensive: ā€œSome guy a few houses down barricaded himself in his house with an assault rifle. Fortunately, they got him (or he gav...