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Advice, Django, and Facebook: <?php header("Content-type: text/html; charset=utf-8"); *This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. *I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing *using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PHP presenter and very long XSLT *stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. *Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to *correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: *Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it *in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. *Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world * and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error_reporting (E_ALL) ; ini_set("display_errors",true); print('<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF - 8 " ?>'."\n") ; ?> I鈥檓 getting second thoughts about whether accepting this job was a good idea.
Advice, Django, and Facebook: <?php header("Content-type: text/html; charset=utf-8");
 *This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code.
 *I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I
 assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons
 I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing
 *using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried
 by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army
 of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS.
 The very long BaseX script, very long PHP presenter and very long XSLT
 *stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for
 different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I
 bet they have mismatches somewhere.
 *Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided
 to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to
 *correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with
 this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally
 given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing
 this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for
 asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a
 manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice:
 *Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it
 *in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a
 relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment.
 *Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world
 * and hope it will be enough.
 Farewell.
 error_reporting (E_ALL) ;
 ini_set("display_errors",true);
 print('<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF - 8 " ?>'."\n") ; ?>
I鈥檓 getting second thoughts about whether accepting this job was a good idea.

I鈥檓 getting second thoughts about whether accepting this job was a good idea.

Ass, Bad, and Blade: 1AM glyndarling: aerylon: loloftheday: Let鈥檚 see you little punks smash my letterbox now This reminds me of this guy who used to live on my dad鈥檚 street. 聽 Every time it snowed, the snow plow would take out his mailbox - and only his mail box. 聽And just to be clear - it was done intentionally. 聽No one knows why, but the driver of the snow plow would target his box and mow it down. 聽He鈥檇 call the DOT to complain, and would get an earful of excuses that amounted to 鈥渘ot our fault you have a wimpy mailbox.鈥 聽 Fast forward to the next winter. 聽First decent snow starts falling, and every kid is hoping for a snow day. 聽It was right around 4:30 am that the whole neighborhood was woken up to this loud CLANG and the screech of tearing metal. 聽My dad made it to the window first and started laughing his ass off. Sitting out side was one very totaled, and almost ripped in half, snow plow. 聽And these weren鈥檛 little pick-up trucks with a blade on the front, we have these up in NY: Well, turns out over the summer, my dad鈥檚 neighbor got himself a backhoe and sank a steel I beam into the ground in his front yard. 聽Then he covered it with a decorative wood sleeve and topped it with a brand new mailbox. 聽When the snowplow driver tried to mow it down it was a bad case of immovable object meets unstoppable force - and the mailbox won. 聽With the plow firmly impaled on the I beam, it was very clear that the driver had gone out of his way to hit it. 聽 Naturally, the DOT wasn鈥檛 happy, and the neighbor鈥檚 reply was simple: 鈥淣ot my faulty you have a wimpy snowplow.鈥 聽They did try to sue him for the damages, but as he had gone to the town, gotten approval for the post and its installation, and made sure everything was up to code, it was thrown out pretty quick. 聽 And for anyone wondering about the driver鈥 聽He was fine. 聽His job and tighty-whiteys 鈥 not so much. That is a very satisfying read.
Ass, Bad, and Blade: 1AM
glyndarling:

aerylon:

loloftheday:

Let鈥檚 see you little punks smash my letterbox now

This reminds me of this guy who used to live on my dad鈥檚 street. 聽

Every time it snowed, the snow plow would take out his mailbox - and only his mail box. 聽And just to be clear - it was done intentionally. 聽No one knows why, but the driver of the snow plow would target his box and mow it down. 聽He鈥檇 call the DOT to complain, and would get an earful of excuses that amounted to 鈥渘ot our fault you have a wimpy mailbox.鈥 聽

Fast forward to the next winter. 聽First decent snow starts falling, and every kid is hoping for a snow day. 聽It was right around 4:30 am that the whole neighborhood was woken up to this loud CLANG and the screech of tearing metal. 聽My dad made it to the window first and started laughing his ass off.

Sitting out side was one very totaled, and almost ripped in half, snow plow. 聽And these weren鈥檛 little pick-up trucks with a blade on the front, we have these up in NY:

Well, turns out over the summer, my dad鈥檚 neighbor got himself a backhoe and sank a steel I beam into the ground in his front yard. 聽Then he covered it with a decorative wood sleeve and topped it with a brand new mailbox. 聽When the snowplow driver tried to mow it down it was a bad case of immovable object meets unstoppable force - and the mailbox won. 聽With the plow firmly impaled on the I beam, it was very clear that the driver had gone out of his way to hit it. 聽

Naturally, the DOT wasn鈥檛 happy, and the neighbor鈥檚 reply was simple: 鈥淣ot my faulty you have a wimpy snowplow.鈥 聽They did try to sue him for the damages, but as he had gone to the town, gotten approval for the post and its installation, and made sure everything was up to code, it was thrown out pretty quick. 聽

And for anyone wondering about the driver鈥 聽He was fine. 聽His job and tighty-whiteys 鈥 not so much.


That is a very satisfying read.

glyndarling: aerylon: loloftheday: Let鈥檚 see you little punks smash my letterbox now This reminds me of this guy who used to live on my ...

Children, Growing Up, and Lenny: C humansofnewyork: 鈥淣obody would give us a chance. 聽We were in our early twenties. 聽We had two young kids. 聽We were working, but living check to check. 聽At the time we were staying in the projects with my mother-in-law, but my kids were growing up, so we needed our own place. 聽But all the rental brokers wanted to see our bank statements. 聽And we had no savings. 聽We didn鈥檛 even have accounts. 聽Then one day I was walking down the avenue, and I saw a super fixing up an empty apartment. 聽I told him I needed to speak to the landlord directly. 聽No brokers. 聽And I guess he liked my vibe, because he gave me the name: Ronald Petrowski. 聽When I called Mr. Petrowski, I explained everything. 聽I told him we needed a chance. 聽He agreed to meet me and my husband at Lenny鈥檚 Pizzeria. 聽He bought us a plain pie and listened to our story. 聽He鈥檇 grown up poor himself, so he knew the struggle. 聽And he gave us a chance. 聽We鈥檝e been in that apartment for 35 years now, and I鈥檝e paid him every cent. 聽We鈥檝e fallen on hard times. 聽At one point I owed him an entire year of rent. 聽But he was so gracious. 聽He never sent us an eviction notice. 聽Every time he came to collect, he鈥檇 sit at our kitchen table, have a cup of coffee, and listen to our situation. 聽Mr. Petrowski is my hero. 聽He sold the building a couple years ago, but we still keep in touch. 聽That man gave me a home to raise my children.鈥
Children, Growing Up, and Lenny: C
humansofnewyork:

鈥淣obody would give us a chance. 聽We were in our early twenties. 聽We had two young kids. 聽We were working, but living check to check. 聽At the time we were staying in the projects with my mother-in-law, but my kids were growing up, so we needed our own place. 聽But all the rental brokers wanted to see our bank statements. 聽And we had no savings. 聽We didn鈥檛 even have accounts. 聽Then one day I was walking down the avenue, and I saw a super fixing up an empty apartment. 聽I told him I needed to speak to the landlord directly. 聽No brokers. 聽And I guess he liked my vibe, because he gave me the name: Ronald Petrowski. 聽When I called Mr. Petrowski, I explained everything. 聽I told him we needed a chance. 聽He agreed to meet me and my husband at Lenny鈥檚 Pizzeria. 聽He bought us a plain pie and listened to our story. 聽He鈥檇 grown up poor himself, so he knew the struggle. 聽And he gave us a chance. 聽We鈥檝e been in that apartment for 35 years now, and I鈥檝e paid him every cent. 聽We鈥檝e fallen on hard times. 聽At one point I owed him an entire year of rent. 聽But he was so gracious. 聽He never sent us an eviction notice. 聽Every time he came to collect, he鈥檇 sit at our kitchen table, have a cup of coffee, and listen to our situation. 聽Mr. Petrowski is my hero. 聽He sold the building a couple years ago, but we still keep in touch. 聽That man gave me a home to raise my children.鈥

humansofnewyork: 鈥淣obody would give us a chance. 聽We were in our early twenties. 聽We had two young kids. 聽We were working, but living check...

Bodies , Clothes, and Fucking: G-Wiz @gwheele 1 Follow The USPS only gives Tribal residents PO boxes. Only residents with street addresses can vote. The Supreme Court just cut off voting rights to Native Americans in ND. The Supreme Court just made it harder for the Democrats to win the Senate A new ruling will prevent many Native Anericans in the state from voting motherjones.com 3:38 PM-9 Oct 2018 10,286 Retweets 8,321 Likes Follow @lilnativeboy Native Americans were the LAST to get the right to vote & now we are the first to lose it G-W陌Z @gwheelel The USPS only gives Tribal residents PO boxes. Only residents with street addresses can vote. The Supreme Court just cut off voting rights to Native Americans in ND. motherjones.com/politics/2018... 12:35 AM-11 Oct 2018 5,610 Retweets9.715 Likes armsnotsigns: vaporwavevocap: mr-downer: vaporwavevocap: mr-downer: vaporwavevocap: friendly-neighborhood-patriarch: libertarirynn: rook-the-catechumen: hzs-modblog: rook-the-catechumen: gahdamnpunk: This is messed up Eh, monarchies are more stable governments anyways. That is the wrong response, mister! I鈥檓 sorry I can鈥檛 hear you over the literal multi-millennia that monarchy has peacefully and happily served mankind. You can take your few hundred years of a democratic-republic system of elected officials that always begins with a mountain of bodies and always ends in plutocracy, societal decay, the rich being in charge anyways, and another mountain of bodies. Monarchists get thrown into the harbor鈥f they鈥檙e lucky 鈥渕ulti-millennia that monarchy has peacefully and happily served mankind鈥澛 Fucking when? Oh my this man is fuckin the cybersmith in disguise isn鈥檛 he? Aye you can鈥檛 fool me warlock I know your stench! That鈥檚 not to say I鈥檓 defending the authoritarian cancer of Republican Democracy, but fucking what Monarchy served mankind peacefully? Even if we pretend it was a fictional Biblical monarchy led by Yahweh himself, he is very specifically not peaceful and makes it very clear in聽鈥渉is鈥 own book. Just so we鈥檙e clear you know I was talking about the loon above not you, right? I know, I鈥檓 just reacting to him more. Sorry for confusion. Holy fucking wow 鈥淚 mean sure in Saudi Arabia you can be fucking stoned to death for saying the wrong words or wearing the wrong clothes but like it鈥檚 stable y鈥檏now?鈥濓考
Bodies , Clothes, and Fucking: G-Wiz
 @gwheele 1
 Follow
 The USPS only gives Tribal residents PO
 boxes. Only residents with street addresses
 can vote. The Supreme Court just cut off
 voting rights to Native Americans in ND.
 The Supreme Court just made it harder for the Democrats to win the Senate
 A new ruling will prevent many Native Anericans in the state from voting
 motherjones.com
 3:38 PM-9 Oct 2018
 10,286 Retweets 8,321 Likes

 Follow
 @lilnativeboy
 Native Americans were the LAST to get
 the right to vote & now we are the first
 to lose it
 G-W陌Z @gwheelel
 The USPS only gives Tribal residents PO boxes. Only residents with street
 addresses can vote. The Supreme Court just cut off voting rights to Native
 Americans in ND. motherjones.com/politics/2018...
 12:35 AM-11 Oct 2018
 5,610 Retweets9.715 Likes
armsnotsigns:

vaporwavevocap:

mr-downer:
vaporwavevocap:


mr-downer:

vaporwavevocap:


friendly-neighborhood-patriarch:

libertarirynn:

rook-the-catechumen:


hzs-modblog:


rook-the-catechumen:


gahdamnpunk:
This is messed up

Eh, monarchies are more stable governments anyways.


That is the wrong response, mister!


I鈥檓 sorry I can鈥檛 hear you over the literal  multi-millennia that monarchy has peacefully and happily served mankind.
You can take your few hundred years of a democratic-republic system of elected officials that always begins with a mountain of bodies and always ends in plutocracy, societal decay, the rich being in charge anyways, and another mountain of bodies.



Monarchists get thrown into the harbor鈥f they鈥檙e lucky

鈥渕ulti-millennia that monarchy has peacefully and happily served mankind鈥澛
Fucking when?


Oh my this man is fuckin the cybersmith in disguise isn鈥檛 he? Aye you can鈥檛 fool me warlock I know your stench!

That鈥檚 not to say I鈥檓 defending the authoritarian cancer of Republican Democracy, but fucking what Monarchy served mankind peacefully? Even if we pretend it was a fictional Biblical monarchy led by Yahweh himself, he is very specifically not peaceful and makes it very clear in聽鈥渉is鈥 own book.


Just so we鈥檙e clear you know I was talking about the loon above not you, right?

I know, I鈥檓 just reacting to him more. Sorry for confusion.

Holy fucking wow

鈥淚 mean sure in Saudi Arabia you can be fucking stoned to death for saying the wrong words or wearing the wrong clothes but like it鈥檚 stable y鈥檏now?鈥濓考

armsnotsigns: vaporwavevocap: mr-downer: vaporwavevocap: mr-downer: vaporwavevocap: friendly-neighborhood-patriarch: libertarirynn: ...

Bad, Definitely, and Fail: jessicameats: brunhiddensmusings: katjohnadams: minusthelove: kingjaffejoffer: Executive chef at a top Thai restaurant tells Gordon Ramsay that his Pad Thai is trash [x] Lmao 鈥渨hat do you want to know from me?鈥 Fuck! So no one thinks that Gordon鈥檚 being聽鈥淧ut in his place鈥 or something, this is from Gordon鈥檚 show where he specifically goes to places around the world to be schooled in how they do their cuisine and un-fuck the British (Imperialist but we can鈥檛 admit that on TV, but he does hint STRONGLY at it in some episodes) way of cooking聽鈥渆xotic鈥 dishes by learning from the people who do it best. That鈥檚 the world鈥檚 most successful chef putting himself in a position to learn from chefs around the world in world-class restaurants, grandmother鈥檚 houses, in a cramped make-shift kitchen on a rocking and speeding steam train, and more. He doesn鈥檛 shy away from learning from people who鈥檝e never been in the remote vicinity of a culinary arts school or run a聽鈥減rofessional鈥 kitchen. And here he鈥檚 showing a chef what he thinks of as Pad Thai and if you don鈥檛 think one of the most talented chefs on earth didn鈥檛 know聽he was specifically setting himself up to fail to make a point to his audience, then hopefully you do now! <3聽 the context- he wasnt saying 鈥榟eres my world famous pad tai for you to sample, a recipe i hold more dear then my own mother鈥 its closer to聽 鈥榟ere, this is how i was taught to cook pad tai in liverpool by a man named charles, how far off am i?鈥 I also think the precise criticism is interesting. The other chef doesn鈥檛 say it鈥檚 bad. He definitely doesn鈥檛 say it鈥檚 trash. He doesn鈥檛 say it鈥檚 a bad meal. What he says is that it鈥檚 not pad thai. It鈥檚 been labelled as a specific thing and it doesn鈥檛 resemble that thing to someone from that culture.
Bad, Definitely, and Fail: jessicameats:

brunhiddensmusings:

katjohnadams:

minusthelove:

kingjaffejoffer:

Executive chef at a top Thai restaurant tells Gordon Ramsay that his Pad Thai is trash [x]

Lmao 鈥渨hat do you want to know from me?鈥 Fuck!

So no one thinks that Gordon鈥檚 being聽鈥淧ut in his place鈥 or something, this is from Gordon鈥檚 show where he specifically goes to places around the world to be schooled in how they do their cuisine and un-fuck the British (Imperialist but we can鈥檛 admit that on TV, but he does hint STRONGLY at it in some episodes) way of cooking聽鈥渆xotic鈥 dishes by learning from the people who do it best.
That鈥檚 the world鈥檚 most successful chef putting himself in a position to learn from chefs around the world in world-class restaurants, grandmother鈥檚 houses, in a cramped make-shift kitchen on a rocking and speeding steam train, and more. He doesn鈥檛 shy away from learning from people who鈥檝e never been in the remote vicinity of a culinary arts school or run a聽鈥減rofessional鈥 kitchen.
And here he鈥檚 showing a chef what he thinks of as Pad Thai and if you don鈥檛 think one of the most talented chefs on earth didn鈥檛 know聽he was specifically setting himself up to fail to make a point to his audience, then hopefully you do now! <3聽

the context- he wasnt saying 鈥榟eres my world famous pad tai for you to sample, a recipe i hold more dear then my own mother鈥 its closer to聽 鈥榟ere, this is how i was taught to cook pad tai in liverpool by a man named charles, how far off am i?鈥

I also think the precise criticism is interesting. The other chef doesn鈥檛 say it鈥檚 bad. He definitely doesn鈥檛 say it鈥檚 trash. He doesn鈥檛 say it鈥檚 a bad meal. What he says is that it鈥檚 not pad thai. It鈥檚 been labelled as a specific thing and it doesn鈥檛 resemble that thing to someone from that culture.

jessicameats: brunhiddensmusings: katjohnadams: minusthelove: kingjaffejoffer: Executive chef at a top Thai restaurant tells Gordon Ram...