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Apple, Bless Up, and Drake: Three weeks ago she was at the pound - now she's transformed to Action Pup.! So u know how u get in the car and Apple Music just wil out and play whatever well on the way to the gym this mernin I hop in the whip on this cold a$$ 12 degree day and my speakers start blasting Miguel, Banana Clip. FAM! I don’t even remember downloading this album! But this joint HARD! 😂 I felt like Miguel lil 5 foot a$$ was next to me serenading me, singing in the passenger seat egging me on go hard at the gym! I was Iike wow this adorable lil munchkin go hard! And then it dawned on me 🤔...5 footers really be going the hardest! 🐛 Kevin Hart - 5 foot. Tom cruise - 5 foot. Shiggy the comedian who invented the drake Kiki dance (DRAaAaAaAake! 😂) - 5 foot. They out there ... ENTERTAINING. Ladies don’t shleep. I know most of u pretty tings got a 6-4 cutoff and I don’t blame y’all! But maybe what u need is a 5 footer who really gon do the most! Serenade u in the shower! Make u laugh! “Smash I’m not tryina hear that, my son in fifth grade already taller than that I can’t bring a man into my house who reach to my son’s chest” BB 👏 GIRL 👏 DO 👏 WHAT 👏 U 👏 FEEL 👏. And by the way, for all you men who only swipe right on short women may I ask you to consider finding yourself a tall drink of water in 2019. I used to talk to a volleyball player who was 6-1 and let me tell you fam she was a sight to behold. Legs so long you could slide down them h0es like a fire pole. Cheeks like beach balls. She was a whole lotta woman! A foot long sub for the price of a six inch famalam! I am telling you, you might not think it’s your thing but u might hecc around and fall in love. “But smash, I’m 5-11 which is really a lie I’m actually 5-7 and three quarter but I say I’m 5-11 - if she 6-1 then in heels she finna be 6-4 fam I’m gon look like her handsome middle school son.” Well bish embrace that! Find you a Mama! Maybe your mama was wiling out when you were growing up and u need a woman to HECC around and spank u. Maybe eem spike you! 🏐 Maybe that’s what you been missing all your life. “smash you really Wilding today.” INDEEDY! Smash simply raising this hypothesis for ya consideration lmao BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 2: @tatertot_thecorgi_)
Apple, Bless Up, and Drake: Three weeks ago she was at the pound - now she's
 transformed to Action Pup.!
So u know how u get in the car and Apple Music just wil out and play whatever well on the way to the gym this mernin I hop in the whip on this cold a$$ 12 degree day and my speakers start blasting Miguel, Banana Clip. FAM! I don’t even remember downloading this album! But this joint HARD! 😂 I felt like Miguel lil 5 foot a$$ was next to me serenading me, singing in the passenger seat egging me on go hard at the gym! I was Iike wow this adorable lil munchkin go hard! And then it dawned on me 🤔...5 footers really be going the hardest! 🐛 Kevin Hart - 5 foot. Tom cruise - 5 foot. Shiggy the comedian who invented the drake Kiki dance (DRAaAaAaAake! 😂) - 5 foot. They out there ... ENTERTAINING. Ladies don’t shleep. I know most of u pretty tings got a 6-4 cutoff and I don’t blame y’all! But maybe what u need is a 5 footer who really gon do the most! Serenade u in the shower! Make u laugh! “Smash I’m not tryina hear that, my son in fifth grade already taller than that I can’t bring a man into my house who reach to my son’s chest” BB 👏 GIRL 👏 DO 👏 WHAT 👏 U 👏 FEEL 👏. And by the way, for all you men who only swipe right on short women may I ask you to consider finding yourself a tall drink of water in 2019. I used to talk to a volleyball player who was 6-1 and let me tell you fam she was a sight to behold. Legs so long you could slide down them h0es like a fire pole. Cheeks like beach balls. She was a whole lotta woman! A foot long sub for the price of a six inch famalam! I am telling you, you might not think it’s your thing but u might hecc around and fall in love. “But smash, I’m 5-11 which is really a lie I’m actually 5-7 and three quarter but I say I’m 5-11 - if she 6-1 then in heels she finna be 6-4 fam I’m gon look like her handsome middle school son.” Well bish embrace that! Find you a Mama! Maybe your mama was wiling out when you were growing up and u need a woman to HECC around and spank u. Maybe eem spike you! 🏐 Maybe that’s what you been missing all your life. “smash you really Wilding today.” INDEEDY! Smash simply raising this hypothesis for ya consideration lmao BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 2: @tatertot_thecorgi_)

So u know how u get in the car and Apple Music just wil out and play whatever well on the way to the gym this mernin I hop in the whip on th...

Bless Up, Emoji, and Food: Dunkin doesn't eat unless I microwave his food bc he thinks once it goes in the microwave it magically becomes human food 0:32 Beloveds! Very, very important! I gotta share something with y’all. At work, u gon have mentors. Bosses that take a interest in u. U feel me? They gon push u along. They gon support u. They gon look out for u. But as a dear friend once told me...there’s one thing they NOT gon do. Y’all ready? Y’all ready for this A1 Sauce? Y’all receptive? Nah. U know what I think y’all distracted on this Friday imma address this another time LMAO JK HERE IT GOES: one thing that mentor is NOT gon do is take money out of HIS paycheck, and put it in yours. READ THAT CAREFULLY. If it’s between your paycheck and his paycheck, he gon choose his paycheck 10 times out of 10. Not nine! see y’all not listening! 😂 Y’all sitting back like “nah some bosses are cool, my boss Phil is amazing, Phil will gladly go to HR and say ‘please bump Sally’s salary by $30,000 and decrease mine by a commensurate amount - I insist 😌’” <— men don’t make this emoji face because Phil don’t exist HE 👏 DONT 👏 EXIST 👏 BELOVED 👏 HE 👏 ON 👏 THE 👏 WAITING 👏 LIST 👏 FOR 👏 THAT 👏 NEW 👏 TESLA 👏 THAT 👏 30 👏 THOU 👏 BEEN 👏 SPUNT 👏 ARREDDY 👏- aight? He is not - I repeat not - gon prefer ya paycheck to his. Not gon happen! Not now not never! U feel me? So what that mean. IT MEAN U GOTTA ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF. “But smash imma be ‘the b!tch’ at work if I complain” GOOD. BE THE B!TCH LMAO. U KNOW WHAT B!TCHES DO? THEY GET PAID WHAT’S OWED TO THEM. THEN MEN GET MAD AND CALL THEM A B!TCH. IF THEY CALL U A B!TCH, 9 TIMES OUT OF 10 U DID SOMETHING RIGHT, AND THEY SALTY. BIG SALT. MORTONS. HIMALAYA ROCK SALT U FEEL ME? THE PINK JOINT. DONT LET A LABEL DISCOURAGE U. LET IT *EN* COURAGE U - TO GET WHAT U DESERVE. AIGHT? LOVE YALL. BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 1: @dunkinandkirby. Slide 2: @cantuonwheels)
Bless Up, Emoji, and Food: Dunkin doesn't eat unless I microwave his
 food bc he thinks once it goes in the
 microwave it magically becomes human food
 0:32
Beloveds! Very, very important! I gotta share something with y’all. At work, u gon have mentors. Bosses that take a interest in u. U feel me? They gon push u along. They gon support u. They gon look out for u. But as a dear friend once told me...there’s one thing they NOT gon do. Y’all ready? Y’all ready for this A1 Sauce? Y’all receptive? Nah. U know what I think y’all distracted on this Friday imma address this another time LMAO JK HERE IT GOES: one thing that mentor is NOT gon do is take money out of HIS paycheck, and put it in yours. READ THAT CAREFULLY. If it’s between your paycheck and his paycheck, he gon choose his paycheck 10 times out of 10. Not nine! see y’all not listening! 😂 Y’all sitting back like “nah some bosses are cool, my boss Phil is amazing, Phil will gladly go to HR and say ‘please bump Sally’s salary by $30,000 and decrease mine by a commensurate amount - I insist 😌’” <— men don’t make this emoji face because Phil don’t exist HE 👏 DONT 👏 EXIST 👏 BELOVED 👏 HE 👏 ON 👏 THE 👏 WAITING 👏 LIST 👏 FOR 👏 THAT 👏 NEW 👏 TESLA 👏 THAT 👏 30 👏 THOU 👏 BEEN 👏 SPUNT 👏 ARREDDY 👏- aight? He is not - I repeat not - gon prefer ya paycheck to his. Not gon happen! Not now not never! U feel me? So what that mean. IT MEAN U GOTTA ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF. “But smash imma be ‘the b!tch’ at work if I complain” GOOD. BE THE B!TCH LMAO. U KNOW WHAT B!TCHES DO? THEY GET PAID WHAT’S OWED TO THEM. THEN MEN GET MAD AND CALL THEM A B!TCH. IF THEY CALL U A B!TCH, 9 TIMES OUT OF 10 U DID SOMETHING RIGHT, AND THEY SALTY. BIG SALT. MORTONS. HIMALAYA ROCK SALT U FEEL ME? THE PINK JOINT. DONT LET A LABEL DISCOURAGE U. LET IT *EN* COURAGE U - TO GET WHAT U DESERVE. AIGHT? LOVE YALL. BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 1: @dunkinandkirby. Slide 2: @cantuonwheels)

Beloveds! Very, very important! I gotta share something with y’all. At work, u gon have mentors. Bosses that take a interest in u. U feel me...

Arguing, Bless Up, and Dogs: My daughter was nervous around dogs, and then she met this guy. He let her love all over him for 20 minutes and then afterwards, her fear was gone. Thank you, sweet boy, for making her into the dog lover that she is! GIBBS NEW YORKERS ARE WILD FAM 😂. They will argue about anything. It’s both a sport and a hobby. In the rest of the country people burn calories by wearing a Fitbit and measuring steps. Nah. New Yorkers will just argue with u until they thin 😂. I love it. I’m not saying they ain’t wonderful people! To the contrary! They be nice as HELL to me! They just love to argue. FOR EXAMPLE. Me: “fam I love getting food off the Halal carts.” NY person: “oh word, son? Oh it’s like THAT my dude? Ayo...Could I ax u a question, son?” *ominous music plays (90s era Mobb Deep)* Me: “sure...(?)” NY person: “ayo son...could I ax u what halal cart u go to my dude?” Me: “ummm like around Greenwich and Murray...(?)” NY person: “son [pregnant pause] SON 😂. U can’t be serriyiss right now son. Is u wildin my dude? *whispering to friend in NY Yankees cap* son...is this dude wildin?” Friend (quietly): “I mean ... he wildin son.” (Everyone in NY got a yes-man with him who wear a yankee fitted real low and who don’t really argue, he just agree with what his friend say lol.) New York person: “ayo u mean...Like up by World Trade?” And I’m like: “I guess...(?)” NY person: “SON! HOW U AINT KNOW THESE THINGS SON? 😂 U gotta know which halal cart got that GOOD good and which one got that mid grade son! Ayo do me a favor son walk a extra couple blocks to Broadway u see a cart that say “HALAL CHICKEN GYROS” with “ONE DOLLAR SAMOSA”...UNDA DAT. U ask for Hakeem. Tell him Donnell sent u. Yeah. Donnell from one two fif. U gotta tell him the street because it’s two Donnells. Son he gon hook u up with the FIRE CHICKEN my dude. Quiet as it’s kept? Prime Minister of Pakistan eat at that cart my dude word is bond I seent him. He had mad security around him and I’m like oh he gotta be a digni-TERRY he ordered chicken biryani with salad son I said ayo get that red sauce too my son and he did my dude it was wild we ate togevva but I don’t tell that story often anyway I’m not sayin don’t eat at them carts u eat at son! I’m just sayin...I WOUL-INNT EAT THERE IF I WAS U. BUT U COULD DO WHAT U FEEL. BLESS UP.” 😂😂😍 [ALL CREDITS IN COMMENT BELOW.]
Arguing, Bless Up, and Dogs: My daughter was nervous around dogs,
 and then she met this guy. He let her love
 all over him for 20 minutes and then
 afterwards, her fear was gone. Thank you,
 sweet boy, for making her into the dog
 lover that she is!
 GIBBS
NEW YORKERS ARE WILD FAM 😂. They will argue about anything. It’s both a sport and a hobby. In the rest of the country people burn calories by wearing a Fitbit and measuring steps. Nah. New Yorkers will just argue with u until they thin 😂. I love it. I’m not saying they ain’t wonderful people! To the contrary! They be nice as HELL to me! They just love to argue. FOR EXAMPLE. Me: “fam I love getting food off the Halal carts.” NY person: “oh word, son? Oh it’s like THAT my dude? Ayo...Could I ax u a question, son?” *ominous music plays (90s era Mobb Deep)* Me: “sure...(?)” NY person: “ayo son...could I ax u what halal cart u go to my dude?” Me: “ummm like around Greenwich and Murray...(?)” NY person: “son [pregnant pause] SON 😂. U can’t be serriyiss right now son. Is u wildin my dude? *whispering to friend in NY Yankees cap* son...is this dude wildin?” Friend (quietly): “I mean ... he wildin son.” (Everyone in NY got a yes-man with him who wear a yankee fitted real low and who don’t really argue, he just agree with what his friend say lol.) New York person: “ayo u mean...Like up by World Trade?” And I’m like: “I guess...(?)” NY person: “SON! HOW U AINT KNOW THESE THINGS SON? 😂 U gotta know which halal cart got that GOOD good and which one got that mid grade son! Ayo do me a favor son walk a extra couple blocks to Broadway u see a cart that say “HALAL CHICKEN GYROS” with “ONE DOLLAR SAMOSA”...UNDA DAT. U ask for Hakeem. Tell him Donnell sent u. Yeah. Donnell from one two fif. U gotta tell him the street because it’s two Donnells. Son he gon hook u up with the FIRE CHICKEN my dude. Quiet as it’s kept? Prime Minister of Pakistan eat at that cart my dude word is bond I seent him. He had mad security around him and I’m like oh he gotta be a digni-TERRY he ordered chicken biryani with salad son I said ayo get that red sauce too my son and he did my dude it was wild we ate togevva but I don’t tell that story often anyway I’m not sayin don’t eat at them carts u eat at son! I’m just sayin...I WOUL-INNT EAT THERE IF I WAS U. BUT U COULD DO WHAT U FEEL. BLESS UP.” 😂😂😍 [ALL CREDITS IN COMMENT BELOW.]

NEW YORKERS ARE WILD FAM 😂. They will argue about anything. It’s both a sport and a hobby. In the rest of the country people burn calories b...