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Food, Frozen, and Trap: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes HOW TO TREAT A TONGUE STUCK TO A POLE lWarm the pole with your hands. Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is very when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding. Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several minutes cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze 1 Do not panic. 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole 3 Move closer to the pole. Pulling sharply will be very painful. As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will quickly heal. | ฤฐlke z test pull. Get as close as possible without letting more of the tongue's surface area touch the pole. Alternative Method 0 se warm water Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may freeze and exacerbate the problem. Be Aware Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the small amount you will be able to generate is likely to freeze on your tongue.. If another person is present, have him or her pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over your tongue should do the trick Warm the pole wih yr ui wti your ton How To THWART AN AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT er all ood/ medi 1S tial restau tuate fave hark an- e to nc- to How rO ESCAPE FROM A GIANT OCTOPUS 1 Pull away quickly In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres- sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the next step. 2 Do not go limp. Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough, will check to see if you are a food item before letting you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult. However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres- sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring ou in for a closer look. 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around your arms. The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes Searchable CD With All 11 Handbooks plus wallpapers, and more By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | ฤฐlke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Being Alone, America, and Another One: IF WORLD WAR ONE WAS A BAR FIGHT Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint Austria demands Serbia buy it a whole new suit because of the new beer stains on its trouser leg Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit. Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria's trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its litle brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in doing so. Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and theat its sufficiently out of order that Britain not intervene Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it? Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action anymore. Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone. Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium. France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria. Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it. France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault. While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends epicjohndoe: World War One Explained In A Few Sentences
Being Alone, America, and Another One: IF WORLD WAR ONE
 WAS A BAR FIGHT
 Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub
 when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint
 Austria demands Serbia buy it a whole new suit because of the new
 beer stains on its trouser leg
 Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view
 Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.
 Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for
 the cleaning of Austria's trousers.
 Russia and Serbia look at Austria.
 Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at.
 Russia suggests that Austria should leave its litle brother alone.
 Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in doing so.
 Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and theat
 its sufficiently out of order that Britain not intervene
 Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is
 looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it?
 Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render
 Russia incapable of such action anymore.
 Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium
 Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they
 come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.
 Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium.
 France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany
 punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other
 Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over
 Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's
 side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.
 Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard
 feelings because Britain made Australia do it.
 France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and
 carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets
 knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete
 personality change
 Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over
 anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room
 chanting
 America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching
 from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a
 barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself
 By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is
 shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the
 first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault. While Germany is
 still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy
 drinks for all their friends
epicjohndoe:

World War One Explained In A Few Sentences

epicjohndoe: World War One Explained In A Few Sentences

Being Alone, America, and Another One: IF WORLD WAR ONE WAS A BAR FIGHT Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint Austria demands Serbia buy it a whole new suit because of the new beer stains on its trouser leg Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit. Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria's trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its litle brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in doing so. Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and theat its sufficiently out of order that Britain not intervene Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it? Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action anymore. Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone. Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium. France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria. Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it. France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault. While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends epicjohndoe: World War One Explained In A Few Sentences
Being Alone, America, and Another One: IF WORLD WAR ONE
 WAS A BAR FIGHT
 Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub
 when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint
 Austria demands Serbia buy it a whole new suit because of the new
 beer stains on its trouser leg
 Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view
 Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.
 Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for
 the cleaning of Austria's trousers.
 Russia and Serbia look at Austria.
 Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at.
 Russia suggests that Austria should leave its litle brother alone.
 Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in doing so.
 Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and theat
 its sufficiently out of order that Britain not intervene
 Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is
 looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it?
 Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render
 Russia incapable of such action anymore.
 Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium
 Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they
 come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.
 Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium.
 France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany
 punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other
 Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over
 Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's
 side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.
 Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard
 feelings because Britain made Australia do it.
 France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and
 carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets
 knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete
 personality change
 Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over
 anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room
 chanting
 America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching
 from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a
 barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself
 By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is
 shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the
 first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault. While Germany is
 still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy
 drinks for all their friends
epicjohndoe:

World War One Explained In A Few Sentences

epicjohndoe: World War One Explained In A Few Sentences