🔥 | Latest

Alive, Beard, and Children: feniczoroark: minority-cubed: princemetalthunder: skrill-cosby: drucila616: How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral…_________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. oh my god these are great fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes The last one is how I feel about all my schoolmates I can feel the frustration
Alive, Beard, and Children: feniczoroark:

minority-cubed:

princemetalthunder:

skrill-cosby:

drucila616:

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral…_________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

oh my god these are great

fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes


The last one is how I feel about all my schoolmates

I can feel the frustration

feniczoroark: minority-cubed: princemetalthunder: skrill-cosby: drucila616: How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a...

America, Ass, and Bitch: oyal HighnesS Follow @FlawdazFinest86 Really @DunkinDonuts? 2:45 PM - 18 Nov 2017 from Dunkin' Donuts 543 Retweets 2,626 Likes Raphael Follow @iam_raph Do you think this woman would prefer to carry around her child at work if she had another choice? You have no clue what the back story is behind this pic but here you are, snitching on what could probably be a single mother dedicated to making sure her son can eat. Wild Royal Highness@FlawdazFinest86 Really @DunkinDonuts? 11:25 AM 20 Nov 2017 149,586 Retweets 366,288 Likes captain-snark: lonely-vault-boy: lord-kitschener: leggo-my-steggo: agirlwithachakram: labellabrianna: gahdamnpunk: women just can’t win.. I’ve had to bring my daughter into work with me a couple times. 🤷🏽‍♀️ How about: Really, Dunkin’ Donuts? You don’t pay enough for this woman to get childcare or paid maternity leave? How about: Really, America? You don’t have childcare and maternity leave covered as a standard right? but also fuck Dunkin’ Donuts too I hope that bitch-ass snitch never has another good day again for a long time Okay, yeah, sure, maternity leave and shit is understandable, but what I believe what the picture (correct me if I’m wrong) is implying is that it’s unsanitary as fuck to have a child behind the counter where the food is. (At least, at all the Dunkin’ Donuts I’ve been to, they openly display the donuts.) Listen, I’ve gone to dunkin donuts where the men’s bathroom looked like the toilet threw up and watched several employees and a manager USE the bathroom and just leave without giving a fuck.Been to a dunkin donuts where a friend asked an employee to make sure her drink was half ice and the woman put something in her drink.Is it sanitary? No, obviously not. Do you think employees at Dunkin Donuts and other places get paid enough to give a shit about health and safety when they don’t make enough to take care about their own health and safety?No, probably not.I’d rather get this kid’s cold on my donut than go to fucking Chipotle and get e coli because i ate some lettuce.I’d also rather the kid give people his sickness than him getting accidentally scalded by hot water. Lets also talk about the times where people of color have had to leave their kids in mall food courts and the like in order to either go to work/job interview whatever and have been arrested for child abandonment.Capitalism is a fucking joke.
America, Ass, and Bitch: oyal HighnesS
 Follow
 @FlawdazFinest86
 Really @DunkinDonuts?
 2:45 PM - 18 Nov 2017 from Dunkin' Donuts
 543 Retweets 2,626 Likes

 Raphael
 Follow
 @iam_raph
 Do you think this woman would prefer to
 carry around her child at work if she had
 another choice? You have no clue what the
 back story is behind this pic but here you are,
 snitching on what could probably be a single
 mother dedicated to making sure her son can
 eat. Wild
 Royal Highness@FlawdazFinest86
 Really @DunkinDonuts?
 11:25 AM 20 Nov 2017
 149,586 Retweets 366,288 Likes
captain-snark:

lonely-vault-boy:
lord-kitschener:

leggo-my-steggo:


agirlwithachakram:

labellabrianna:

gahdamnpunk:
women just can’t win..

I’ve had to bring my daughter into work with me a couple times. 🤷🏽‍♀️ 

How about: Really, Dunkin’ Donuts? You don’t pay enough for this woman to get childcare or paid maternity leave?

How about: Really, America? You don’t have childcare and maternity leave covered as a standard right?
but also fuck Dunkin’ Donuts too


I hope that bitch-ass snitch never has another good day again for a long time

Okay, yeah, sure, maternity leave and shit is understandable, but what I believe what the picture (correct me if I’m wrong) is implying is that it’s unsanitary as fuck to have a child behind the counter where the food is. (At least, at all the Dunkin’ Donuts I’ve been to, they openly display the donuts.)

Listen, I’ve gone to dunkin donuts where the men’s bathroom looked like the toilet threw up and watched several employees and a manager USE the bathroom and just leave without giving a fuck.Been to a dunkin donuts where a friend asked an employee to make sure her drink was half ice and the woman put something in her drink.Is it sanitary? No, obviously not. Do you think employees at Dunkin Donuts and other places get paid enough to give a shit about health and safety when they don’t make enough to take care about their own health and safety?No, probably not.I’d rather get this kid’s cold on my donut than go to fucking Chipotle and get e coli because i ate some lettuce.I’d also rather the kid give people his sickness than him getting accidentally scalded by hot water. Lets also talk about the times where people of color have had to leave their kids in mall food courts and the like in order to either go to work/job interview whatever and have been arrested for child abandonment.Capitalism is a fucking joke.

captain-snark: lonely-vault-boy: lord-kitschener: leggo-my-steggo: agirlwithachakram: labellabrianna: gahdamnpunk: women just can’t wi...

Tumblr, Blog, and Com: jasker: day at the river!!! its finally getting waaarm
Tumblr, Blog, and Com: jasker:

day at the river!!! its finally getting waaarm

jasker: day at the river!!! its finally getting waaarm

Ash, Bruh, and Community: safetytank: steppsful: songofsunset: xdominoe: purplebloodedmajesty: walkinchicken: kotaku: The End, by Alister Lockhart. Bruh, if you don’t think that having historically significant events well documented from multiple perspectives is a good thing, then idk what the hell u doin. Besides, like, that is literally a Giant Monster Rampaging Through The Town. What the fuck is the everyday person gonna do other than Tweet/Instagram/Post about it going “It’s the apocalypse you guys! Eyyyy lmao #apocalypse #deathrising #nofilter”? #like come on your cellphone may not defeat the beast#but it can gain you like 50000 followers before the skies start raining blood so#who’s the REAL winner here? (via @purplebloodedmajesty) And heck, even if your own death is inevitable getting information out could help save other people, even if it can’t save you. ‘Here are 20 livestreams of the giant tentacle monster including how it moves and attacks, how can we beat it?’ is way more useful than ‘an entire city got wiped off the map and things smell vaguely of calimari idk man’ reblogging for this perfection: ‘an entire city got wiped off the map and things smell vaguely of calimari idk man’  Point #1 on this here article talks about Robert Landsburg, a photographer who realized he wouldn’t survive the eruption of Mt St. Helens (too close to outrun the ash cloud) and used his own body to shield preserve the photos and recordings he’d been taking during the explosion these surviving photographs are still CRAZY VALUABLE to this day for the rest of the volcanologist community, since actual recordings of an in-process eruption are so dang rare on-site documentation of any major disaster is gonna be VITALLY IMPORTANT to the people who are tryna figure out how to prevent that shit tl;dr have your phone out, make your death-by-kaiju worthwhile to the scientific community
Ash, Bruh, and Community: safetytank:
steppsful:

songofsunset:

xdominoe:

purplebloodedmajesty:

walkinchicken:

kotaku:

The End, by Alister Lockhart.

Bruh, if you don’t think that having historically significant events well documented from multiple perspectives is a good thing, then idk what the hell u doin.

Besides, like, that is literally a Giant Monster Rampaging Through The Town. What the fuck is the everyday person gonna do other than Tweet/Instagram/Post about it going “It’s the apocalypse you guys! Eyyyy lmao #apocalypse #deathrising #nofilter”?

#like come on your cellphone may not defeat the beast#but it can gain you like 50000 followers before the skies start raining blood so#who’s the REAL winner here? (via @purplebloodedmajesty)

And heck, even if your own death is inevitable getting information out could help save other people, even if it can’t save you. ‘Here are 20 livestreams of the giant tentacle monster including how it moves and attacks, how can we beat it?’ is way more useful than ‘an entire city got wiped off the map and things smell vaguely of calimari idk man’

reblogging for this perfection: ‘an entire city got wiped off the map and things smell vaguely of calimari idk man’ 

Point #1 on this here article talks about Robert Landsburg, a photographer who realized he wouldn’t survive the eruption of Mt St. Helens (too close to outrun the ash cloud) and used his own body to shield  preserve the photos and recordings he’d been taking during the explosion
these surviving photographs are still CRAZY VALUABLE to this day for the rest of the volcanologist community, since actual recordings of an in-process eruption are so dang rare
on-site documentation of any major disaster is gonna be VITALLY IMPORTANT to the people who are tryna figure out how to prevent that shit
tl;dr have your phone out, make your death-by-kaiju worthwhile to the scientific community

safetytank: steppsful: songofsunset: xdominoe: purplebloodedmajesty: walkinchicken: kotaku: The End, by Alister Lockhart. Bruh, if yo...

Children, Comfortable, and Family: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @AOC Following If by 'the Latina thing,' she means I actually do the work instead of just talk about it, then yeah, I'm doing 'the Latina thing. Unless of course she's talking about being multilingual, which we know isn't a 'Latina thing It's a '21st century' thing Laura Ingraham And Guest Mock 'Anastasio' Ocasio-Cortez For Doi... Laura Ingraham and a guest on her prime-time Fox News show mocked Rep yahoo.com Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez O @AOC Following "How dare they refuse to say their name in a wrong accent & not mangle their own family name so that I can feel more comfortable instead of look inside myself & examine why something as small as *a person's name* makes me uncomfortable in the first place?? This is an outrage!" Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez* Following @AOC By the way: Fox News likes to say my name (incorrectly) as "Cortez," which lI can only imagine is bc that sounds more 'stereotypically' Hispanic probably incites more anxiety' for them Pro Tip: My last name is not "Cortez," just as theirs isn't "Inara" or "Carl" or "Hann ." 5:51 PM -20 Mar 2019 Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Following @AOC My last name is Ocasio-Cortez. Full stop. That's my name. No, you can't say "Cortez." l've never used that in my life. "Cortez" is referring to someone else Even if they're trying to be rude + wrong, my dad's last name was Ocasio anyway. (His name was hyphenated too, though.) 6:01 PM 20 Mar 2019 Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @AOC Following For the curious, in Latinx culture children take *both* their parents' names. It's not a "progressive, new thing." It's just how some names work. PR hyphenates, others mark differently. Your last name: the families that came together to make you. AOC is also fine though :) 6:19 PM-20 Mar 2019 imfemalewarrior: endangered-justice-seeker: Some pundits dislike it when people of color pronounce their own names correctly Getting someone’s name correct is a sign of Respect.  -FemaleWarrior, She/They 
Children, Comfortable, and Family: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
 @AOC
 Following
 If by 'the Latina thing,' she means I
 actually do the work instead of just talk
 about it, then yeah, I'm doing 'the
 Latina thing.
 Unless of course she's talking about
 being multilingual, which we know isn't
 a 'Latina thing
 It's a '21st century' thing
 Laura Ingraham And Guest Mock 'Anastasio' Ocasio-Cortez For Doi...
 Laura Ingraham and a guest on her prime-time Fox News show mocked Rep
 yahoo.com

 Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez O
 @AOC
 Following
 "How dare they refuse to say their name
 in a wrong accent & not mangle their
 own family name so that I can feel more
 comfortable instead of look inside
 myself & examine why something as
 small as *a person's name* makes me
 uncomfortable in the first place?? This is
 an outrage!"

 Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez*
 Following
 @AOC
 By the way: Fox News likes to say my
 name (incorrectly) as "Cortez," which lI
 can only imagine is bc that sounds more
 'stereotypically' Hispanic probably
 incites more anxiety' for them
 Pro Tip:
 My last name is not "Cortez," just as
 theirs isn't "Inara" or "Carl" or "Hann
 ."
 5:51 PM -20 Mar 2019

 Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
 Following
 @AOC
 My last name is Ocasio-Cortez. Full stop.
 That's my name.
 No, you can't say "Cortez." l've never
 used that in my life. "Cortez" is referring
 to someone else
 Even if they're trying to be rude +
 wrong, my dad's last name was Ocasio
 anyway.
 (His name was hyphenated too, though.)
 6:01 PM 20 Mar 2019

 Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
 @AOC
 Following
 For the curious, in Latinx culture
 children take *both* their parents'
 names.
 It's not a "progressive, new thing." It's
 just how some names work. PR
 hyphenates, others mark differently.
 Your last name: the families that came
 together to make you.
 AOC is also fine though :)
 6:19 PM-20 Mar 2019
imfemalewarrior:

endangered-justice-seeker:

Some pundits dislike it when people of color pronounce their own names correctly


Getting someone’s name correct is a sign of Respect. 
-FemaleWarrior, She/They 

imfemalewarrior: endangered-justice-seeker: Some pundits dislike it when people of color pronounce their own names correctly Getting som...