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Alive, Animals, and Cats: Meg OVeganMegane Vegans who feed their pets meat: u guys have gotta see the bigger picture. We shouldn't support animal exploitation w/ our money That's it. 7/13/16, 10:50 PM aer @thelilmermade @VeganMegane yes um so how would I feed my cat? 7/13/16, 11:02 PM lI VIEW TWEET ACTIVITY Meg @VeganMegane @thelilmermade is your cat male or 7m female? :) check out this website for more info: vegancats.com/ veganfaq.php Meg @VeganMegane @thelilmermade I know you want to best for your companion, and I won't deny that there are risks, but you can minimise those risks! 5m someoneintheshadow456: nautica-the-savant: marbledmartin: thegrumpymathematician: nunyabizni: sarcasmsuitsme: skypig357: iswearimnotnaked: hi hello CATS!!!! CANNOT!!!! BE VEGAN!!!!! i cannot believe i have to fucking say this. dogs are omnivore and IF YOUR VET APPROVES your pooch MAY be able to go on an APPROVED(!!!!!) commercial vegan dog food like the brand “v-dog” which has all the essential vitamins, protein, etc. (the oldest record winning dogs have been vegan) cats are CARNIVORE and cannot fucking live on a vegan diet. a vet would laugh in your face and probably find some way to have your pet taken away from you because you’re obviously not fit to have an animal if you think you can feed a cat a diet based on your own ethics i’m vegan but this is so fucking harmful. it’s about minimizing your harm, not putting your animals on risky diets in an attempt to be perfect. DON’T FUCKING DO THIS TO YOUR PETS Idiot people If you see someone you know doing this, report them for animal cruelty and neglect. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ This posts, and many of the notes on it, are bothering me. Ladies, gentlemen, esteemed colleagues from outside the confines of the gender binary; gather ‘round. Let’s throw some science in this joint. 1. Humans. Humans are not cats. Humans are not dogs. One would think this obvious, but people have a tendency to attempt such interspecies comparisons when discussing diet. Humans are order omnivora; we have essentially evolved in a manner that attempts to give us as much dietary flexibility as possible. We do, however, require a substance called B12 (or cobalamin), which is extremely important for brain and nervous system functions, as well as the synthesis of DNA and the construction of red blood cells. We cannot produce this vitamin ourselves–no animal, plant, or fungus can. The enzymes used in cobalamin production are essentially unique to bacteria and archaea–some species of which hang out in the digestive tracks of other animals. We get cobalamin in a roundabout way from fish, shellfish, meat, eggs, milk, and dairy products. While there is no naturally-occurring, vegan source of the vitamin that has been demonstrated effective in a human study of statistically significant sample size, effective synthetic forms do exist and can be used as a substitute.  Cyanocobalamin is one of the most common and is frequently found in fortified foods and vitamins. In short: Humans are omnivores. Humans have evolved for dietary flexibility, including viable vegetarianism. Humans did not evolve for veganism (be extremely suspicious of people who tell you that we did, as they are lying), but due to modern technologies, veganism is also a viable diet that humans can thrive on, should they so choose. 2. Cats. Cats are order carnivora. Cats require (amongst other things) an amino acid called taurine. We’re not quite sure how, exactly, but we know that it’s extremely important to feline heart wall tissue, retinal tissue, and brain tissue amongst other things. Cats cannot manufacture their own taurine, and must get it from other sources–primarily shellfish, fish and meat. Taurine breaks down when heated, so feeding your cat a home-cooked diet rich in this foods is also not necessarily a good idea (talk to a vet). Secondary (read: SUPPLEMENTARY. NOT A SOLE SOURCE OF TAURINE.) sources of taurine for cats include dairy, eggs, and seaweed- or yeast-based taurine supplements. In nature, cats don’t really need to worry about getting enough taurine, because (as you may have noticed), taurine sources are indeed the things that cats tend to catch and eat. However, a cat that lives in a human household is dependent on humans for food, and sometimes humans are utter fucktrucks. In short: Cats are obligate carnivores. Their primary source of nutrition is meat. They must eat meat, preferably as close to raw as possible. They have digestive tracks designed for digesting meat. There are vegan/vegetarian cat kibbles on the market. Do not buy them. Your cat is neither vegan nor vegetarian, and if you adjust their diet as if they were, you are a terrible person who is harming and possibly killing your pet. You suck. End of discussion. 3. Dogs. Dogs are slightly more nuanced here. They are facultative carnivores–meaning that they optimally should eat meat, but can survive on other things if resources are scare. Dogs also need the amino acid taurine, but can technically manufacture it themselves if the proper building blocks are in their diets. They also need vitamin D–D3 is preferable, but D2 can be used to some degree. Dogs are somewhere between us (the true omnivore) and the cat (the true carnivore). A vegan or vegetarian diet will keep a dog alive, certainly, but is unlikely to allow your pet to thrive as it lacks the recommended nutrients. You should probably be feeding your dog meat. The exception here–some dogs are allergic to conventional dog foods, or find symptoms of certain diseases alleviated by vegetarianism. In this case, a veterinarian (not you, layperson, I mean an actual trained veterinarian) may determine that the benefits of putting your dog on a vegetarian/vegan diet outweigh those of feeding your dog meat. This is relatively rare, but does occasionally happen. And no, actually, the oldest dog is not vegan–Bramble is the only dog on this list that I found had some indication of veganism. The oldest dog on record is an Australian Kelpie named Maggie, who was not vegan. It is more likely that Bramble lived that long despite the veganism, not because of it. In short: If a vet thinks that your dog may be allergic to dog food/require a special diet and recommends you try feeding it a vegetarian/vegan diet, listen to your vet. Otherwise? Dogs are carnivora. They do need vegetables and other sources of nutrients, but their optimal fuel, as it were, is meat. Your dog needs meat to be happy. Fucking feed your dog.  Now, I did manage to find two veterinarians who disagree with every other study I dug up and the American Veterinary Medical Association. Their articles are here and here. They don’t really have sources, and are essentially wholly dependent on anecdotal evidence (“my dog is a vegetarian and hasn’t died!”), but for those of you data cherry-pickers reading this, there you go.  As a rule, dogs and cats need meat. If that makes you uncomfortable, that is your problem, not theirs. If you try to implement a vegan or vegetarian diet for your pets because you implemented one for yourself, you shouldn’t have those pets. That is animal abuse. (By the way, those of you not feeding your cats and non-allergic dogs the food they need to survive and thrive? What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you not love your pets?) TL;DR If you do not want a pet that must be fed meat, you should under no circumstances acquire a cat or a dog. Thank you for your time. Rebloobing for the more detailed info on B12 and obligate carnivore vs true omnivores Always reblog. Dear Vegans, If you’re not willing to at least feed your dogs and cats commercial food, get a rabbit or a parrot.
Alive, Animals, and Cats: Meg
 OVeganMegane
 Vegans who feed their pets meat:
 u guys have gotta see the bigger
 picture. We shouldn't support
 animal exploitation w/ our money
 That's it.
 7/13/16, 10:50 PM

 aer
 @thelilmermade
 @VeganMegane yes um so how
 would I feed my cat?
 7/13/16, 11:02 PM
 lI VIEW TWEET ACTIVITY
 Meg @VeganMegane
 @thelilmermade is your cat male or
 7m
 female? :) check out this website for
 more info: vegancats.com/
 veganfaq.php

 Meg @VeganMegane
 @thelilmermade I know you want to
 best for your companion, and I
 won't deny that there are risks, but
 you can minimise those risks!
 5m
someoneintheshadow456:

nautica-the-savant:

marbledmartin:

thegrumpymathematician:

nunyabizni:

sarcasmsuitsme:

skypig357:

iswearimnotnaked:

hi hello CATS!!!! CANNOT!!!! BE VEGAN!!!!! 

i cannot believe i have to fucking say this. 

dogs are omnivore and IF YOUR VET APPROVES your pooch MAY be able to go on an APPROVED(!!!!!) commercial vegan dog food like the brand “v-dog” which has all the essential vitamins, protein, etc. (the oldest record winning dogs have been vegan) 

cats are CARNIVORE and cannot fucking live on a vegan diet. a vet would laugh in your face and probably find some way to have your pet taken away from you because you’re obviously not fit to have an animal if you think you can feed a cat a diet based on your own ethics 

i’m vegan but this is so fucking harmful. 

it’s about minimizing your harm, not putting your animals on risky diets in an attempt to be perfect. 

DON’T FUCKING DO THIS TO YOUR PETS

Idiot people

If you see someone you know doing this, report them for animal cruelty and neglect.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


This posts, and many of the notes on it, are bothering me. Ladies, gentlemen, esteemed colleagues from outside the confines of the gender binary; gather ‘round. Let’s throw some science in this joint.
1. Humans. Humans are not cats. Humans are not dogs. One would think this obvious, but people have a tendency to attempt such interspecies comparisons when discussing diet. Humans are order omnivora; we have essentially evolved in a manner that attempts to give us as much dietary flexibility as possible. We do, however, require a substance called B12 (or cobalamin), which is extremely important for brain and nervous system functions, as well as the synthesis of DNA and the construction of red blood cells. We cannot produce this vitamin ourselves–no animal, plant, or fungus can. The enzymes used in cobalamin production are essentially unique to bacteria and archaea–some species of which hang out in the digestive tracks of other animals. We get cobalamin in a roundabout way from fish, shellfish, meat, eggs, milk, and dairy products. While there is no naturally-occurring, vegan source of the vitamin that has been demonstrated effective in a human study of statistically significant sample size, effective synthetic forms do exist and can be used as a substitute.  Cyanocobalamin is one of the most common and is frequently found in fortified foods and vitamins. In short: Humans are omnivores. Humans have evolved for dietary flexibility, including viable vegetarianism. Humans did not evolve for veganism (be extremely suspicious of people who tell you that we did, as they are lying), but due to modern technologies, veganism is also a viable diet that humans can thrive on, should they so choose.
2. Cats. Cats are order carnivora. Cats require (amongst other things) an amino acid called taurine. We’re not quite sure how, exactly, but we know that it’s extremely important to feline heart wall tissue, retinal tissue, and brain tissue amongst other things. Cats cannot manufacture their own taurine, and must get it from other sources–primarily shellfish, fish and meat. Taurine breaks down when heated, so feeding your cat a home-cooked diet rich in this foods is also not necessarily a good idea (talk to a vet). Secondary (read: SUPPLEMENTARY. NOT A SOLE SOURCE OF TAURINE.) sources of taurine for cats include dairy, eggs, and seaweed- or yeast-based taurine supplements. In nature, cats don’t really need to worry about getting enough taurine, because (as you may have noticed), taurine sources are indeed the things that cats tend to catch and eat. However, a cat that lives in a human household is dependent on humans for food, and sometimes humans are utter fucktrucks. In short: Cats are obligate carnivores. Their primary source of nutrition is meat. They must eat meat, preferably as close to raw as possible. They have digestive tracks designed for digesting meat. There are vegan/vegetarian cat kibbles on the market. Do not buy them. Your cat is neither vegan nor vegetarian, and if you adjust their diet as if they were, you are a terrible person who is harming and possibly killing your pet. You suck. End of discussion.
3. Dogs. Dogs are slightly more nuanced here. They are facultative carnivores–meaning that they optimally should eat meat, but can survive on other things if resources are scare. Dogs also need the amino acid taurine, but can technically manufacture it themselves if the proper building blocks are in their diets. They also need vitamin D–D3 is preferable, but D2 can be used to some degree. Dogs are somewhere between us (the true omnivore) and the cat (the true carnivore). A vegan or vegetarian diet will keep a dog alive, certainly, but is unlikely to allow your pet to thrive as it lacks the recommended nutrients. You should probably be feeding your dog meat. The exception here–some dogs are allergic to conventional dog foods, or find symptoms of certain diseases alleviated by vegetarianism. In this case, a veterinarian (not you, layperson, I mean an actual trained veterinarian) may determine that the benefits of putting your dog on a vegetarian/vegan diet outweigh those of feeding your dog meat. This is relatively rare, but does occasionally happen. And no, actually, the oldest dog is not vegan–Bramble is the only dog on this list that I found had some indication of veganism. The oldest dog on record is an Australian Kelpie named Maggie, who was not vegan. It is more likely that Bramble lived that long despite the veganism, not because of it. In short: If a vet thinks that your dog may be allergic to dog food/require a special diet and recommends you try feeding it a vegetarian/vegan diet, listen to your vet. Otherwise? Dogs are carnivora. They do need vegetables and other sources of nutrients, but their optimal fuel, as it were, is meat. Your dog needs meat to be happy. Fucking feed your dog. 
Now, I did manage to find two veterinarians who disagree with every other study I dug up and the American Veterinary Medical Association. Their articles are here and here. They don’t really have sources, and are essentially wholly dependent on anecdotal evidence (“my dog is a vegetarian and hasn’t died!”), but for those of you data cherry-pickers reading this, there you go. 
As a rule, dogs and cats need meat. If that makes you uncomfortable, that is your problem, not theirs. If you try to implement a vegan or vegetarian diet for your pets because you implemented one for yourself, you shouldn’t have those pets. That is animal abuse. (By the way, those of you not feeding your cats and non-allergic dogs the food they need to survive and thrive? What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you not love your pets?)
TL;DR If you do not want a pet that must be fed meat, you should under no circumstances acquire a cat or a dog. Thank you for your time.

Rebloobing for the more detailed info on B12 and obligate carnivore vs true omnivores


Always reblog. 

Dear Vegans,
If you’re not willing to at least feed your dogs and cats commercial food, get a rabbit or a parrot.

someoneintheshadow456: nautica-the-savant: marbledmartin: thegrumpymathematician: nunyabizni: sarcasmsuitsme: skypig357: iswearimnotn...

Advice, Children, and Club: I My [38M] girlfriend [32F] of 3 years owns a pornstore/strip club. I want her to sell it before l propose gfclubowner-3 days ago . relationship-advice-46% upvoted My girlfriend was left a pornstore and strip club by her dad when he died 8 years ago. He left it go to be a shithole, but she poured her entire inheritance and took out some loans to revamp them both. owns a pornstore/strip club. I want her to sell it before I propose gfelubowner-3 days ago . relationship-advice-91 % upvoted It is now a popular, well managed establishment. She makes a decent life, but I have issues and I want her to sell it before of 3 years_owns a/ I will even think of proposing. I decided to tell her that the sexual side of the store and don't think the adult industry is a positive place for anyone. can't tell my strict Catholic parents what she does for a living ub bothered me, and that I wanted her to sell it before I would propose. I made breakfast before she left to go over to the store for the day. She has to put a lot of time into the club. Saturday, we had plans to go see Shazam and have dinner. She got called that a bartender's kid is sick and she ended up working until 4 am due to no coverage. She dumped me on the spot. She said she enjoys her work, loves the adult industry, and has no plans on selling ever. She said she has worked too hard and too long for that sort of "bullshit. This is a regular occurence in some capacity. She just shrugs at me and tells me it's part of being an active owner of a successful business. She ends up working until 4 am at least 4 times a week We don't live together, so we walked through her apartment to gather my things. We gave each other's keys back. She already blocked me on facebook. She is adamant that she will not sell. I need some good points 11:00 AM - 12 Apr 2019 My [38M] girlfriend [32F) of 3 years owns a pornstore/strip club. I want her to sell it before I propose. gfclubowner . 3 days ago . relationship-advice-46% upvoted My girlfriend was left a pornstore and strip club by her dad when he died 8 years ago. He left it go to be a shithole, but she poured her entire inheritance and took out some loans to revamp them both. It is now a popular, well managed establishment. She makes a decent life, but I have issues and I want her to sell it before I will even think of proposing. I don't think the adult industry is a positive place for anyone. I can't tell my strict Catholic parents what she does for a living. She has to put a lot of time into the club. Saturday, we had plans to go see Shazam and have dinner. She got called that a bartender's kid is sick and she ended up working until 4 am due to no coverage. This is a regular occurence in some capacity. She just shrugs at me and tells me it's part of being an active owner of a successful business. She ends up working until 4 am at least 4 times a week. She is adamant that she will not sell. I need some good points as to why she should. Points involving children will not work, as she doesn't want childrern Tl;dr: my gf owns a strip club. I want to give her good reasons to sell. [UPDATE] My [38M] girlfriend [32F] of 3 years owns a pornstore/strip club. I want her to sell it before I propose. gfclubowner . 3 days ago-relationship-advice-91 % upvoted https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship advice /comments/bb1wh7/my_38m girlfriend 32f of 3_years owns a/ I decided to tell her that the sexual side of the store and club bothered me, and that I wanted her to sell it before l would propose. I made breakfast before she left to go over to the store for the day. She dumped me on the spot. She said she enjoys her work, loves the adult industry, and has no plans on selling ever. She said she has worked too hard and too long for that sort of "bullshit." We don't live together, so we walked through her apartment to gather my things. We gave each other's keys back. She already blocked me on facebook. TL; DR: she dumped me for telling her I want her to sell the club Ms. Respex is Spexy @Respexy Follow Replying to @redditships And she came in to work rather than give an employee with a sick child a hard time. We stan a family friendly employer/childfree people who respect working moms watch-your-grammer: jabberwockypie: cozmicpunch: uncommonbish: God I love it when ultimatums backfire As she should have! Imagine asking a man to sell off his inheritance because you are uncomfortable 😂 The number of people in the notes saying “He has a point” or “People would be reading this differently if the genders were reversed” … like If you’re so morally opposed to what the other person does for a living … how are you with them for three years? Presumably that would have been disclosed pretty early on in the relationship, right?  “So what do you do?”  “Well I own a successful business in the adult entertainment industry” You don’t go into a relationship with the idea that you’re going to change the other person to make them “acceptable” to your standards. I’m so happy she dumped him, good for her, absolute goddess
Advice, Children, and Club: I
 My [38M] girlfriend [32F] of 3 years owns a
 pornstore/strip club. I want her to sell it
 before l propose
 gfclubowner-3 days ago . relationship-advice-46% upvoted
 My girlfriend was left a pornstore and strip club by her dad
 when he died 8 years ago. He left it go to be a shithole,
 but she poured her entire inheritance and took out some
 loans to revamp them both.
 owns a pornstore/strip club. I want her to sell
 it before I propose
 gfelubowner-3 days ago . relationship-advice-91 % upvoted
 It is now a popular, well managed establishment. She makes
 a decent life, but I have issues and I want her to sell it before of 3 years_owns a/
 I will even think of proposing.
 I decided to tell her that the sexual side of the store and
 don't think the adult industry is a positive place for anyone.
 can't tell my strict Catholic parents what she does for a living
 ub bothered me, and that I wanted her to sell it before I
 would propose. I made breakfast before she left to go over
 to the store for the day.
 She has to put a lot of time into the club. Saturday, we had
 plans to go see Shazam and have dinner. She got called
 that a bartender's kid is sick and she ended up working until
 4 am due to no coverage.
 She dumped me on the spot. She said she enjoys her
 work, loves the adult industry, and has no plans on selling
 ever. She said she has worked too hard and too long for
 that sort of "bullshit.
 This is a regular occurence in some capacity. She just
 shrugs at me and tells me it's part of being an active owner
 of a successful business. She ends up working until 4 am
 at least 4 times a week
 We don't live together, so we walked through her apartment to
 gather my things. We gave each other's keys back.
 She already blocked me on facebook.
 She is adamant that she will not sell. I need some good points
 11:00 AM - 12 Apr 2019

 My [38M] girlfriend [32F) of 3 years owns
 a pornstore/strip club. I want her to sell it
 before I propose.
 gfclubowner . 3 days ago . relationship-advice-46% upvoted
 My girlfriend was left a pornstore and strip club by her dad
 when he died 8 years ago. He left it go to be a shithole,
 but she poured her entire inheritance and took out some
 loans to revamp them both.
 It is now a popular, well managed establishment. She makes
 a decent life, but I have issues and I want her to sell it before
 I will even think of proposing.
 I don't think the adult industry is a positive place for anyone. I
 can't tell my strict Catholic parents what she does for a living.
 She has to put a lot of time into the club. Saturday, we had
 plans to go see Shazam and have dinner. She got called
 that a bartender's kid is sick and she ended up working until
 4 am due to no coverage.
 This is a regular occurence in some capacity. She just
 shrugs at me and tells me it's part of being an active owner
 of a successful business. She ends up working until 4 am
 at least 4 times a week.
 She is adamant that she will not sell. I need some good points
 as to why she should. Points involving children will not work,
 as she doesn't want childrern
 Tl;dr: my gf owns a strip club. I want to give her good
 reasons to sell.

 [UPDATE] My [38M] girlfriend [32F] of 3 years
 owns a pornstore/strip club. I want her to sell
 it before I propose.
 gfclubowner . 3 days ago-relationship-advice-91 % upvoted
 https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship advice
 /comments/bb1wh7/my_38m girlfriend 32f
 of 3_years owns a/
 I decided to tell her that the sexual side of the store and
 club bothered me, and that I wanted her to sell it before l
 would propose. I made breakfast before she left to go over
 to the store for the day.
 She dumped me on the spot. She said she enjoys her
 work, loves the adult industry, and has no plans on selling
 ever. She said she has worked too hard and too long for
 that sort of "bullshit."
 We don't live together, so we walked through her apartment to
 gather my things. We gave each other's keys back.
 She already blocked me on facebook.
 TL; DR: she dumped me for telling her I want her to sell the club

 Ms. Respex is Spexy
 @Respexy
 Follow
 Replying to @redditships
 And she came in to work rather than give an
 employee with a sick child a hard time.
 We stan a family friendly employer/childfree
 people who respect working moms
watch-your-grammer:

jabberwockypie:

cozmicpunch:

uncommonbish:

God I love it when ultimatums backfire



As she should have! Imagine asking a man to sell off his inheritance because you are uncomfortable 😂

The number of people in the notes saying “He has a point” or “People would be reading this differently if the genders were reversed” … like
If you’re so morally opposed to what the other person does for a living … how are you with them for three years?
Presumably that would have been disclosed pretty early on in the relationship, right?  “So what do you do?”  “Well I own a successful business in the adult entertainment industry”
You don’t go into a relationship with the idea that you’re going to change the other person to make them “acceptable” to your standards.


I’m so happy she dumped him, good for her, absolute goddess

watch-your-grammer: jabberwockypie: cozmicpunch: uncommonbish: God I love it when ultimatums backfire As she should have! Imagine ask...

Children, Confused, and Family: Allie Jake MorganAshleySandy Brooke Pat fCoke Corey Jason priteShare Sam John Friends mrscarstairs: Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story. So I was watching Fullmetal Alchemist with my roommate, when I got thirsty and decided what the hell, Ima get myself a Coke. So I went down to the vending machine on our floor and swiped my card and pressed the button to vend the Coke. Well, TWO cokes popped out. Weird right? I looked around, wondering if I was on one of those punk’d shows, and grabbed both bottles. Suddenly, a loud thrumming came from the machine, and lo and behold, 6 MORE COKES CAME OUT. After checking my debit card statement, I found that I was only charged for ONE coke. Feeling giddy but slightly guilty, I nabbed all 8 bottles of coke and went back to my room. After telling my roommate what happened, she decided to go back to the coke machine with me and see if only the Cokes are affected. She bought two Sprites, and what the fuck do ya know, she got those damn Sprites, AS WELL AS 11 FREE COKES.  This of course jammed the machine, and before I knew it, I was on my knees with my arm up the Coke machine, practically birthing these little fuckers. I even read off their names on their bottles as I handed them to my roommate. We also found a random Cherry Coke had popped out as well. Behold our finished family. 19 cokes, 2 Sprites, and a Cherry Coke, all the result of a very overworked and confused Coke machine.
Children, Confused, and Family: Allie
 Jake
 MorganAshleySandy Brooke
 Pat
 fCoke
 Corey Jason
 priteShare
 Sam
 John
 Friends
mrscarstairs:

Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story.
So I was watching Fullmetal Alchemist with my roommate, when I got thirsty and decided what the hell, Ima get myself a Coke. So I went down to the vending machine on our floor and swiped my card and pressed the button to vend the Coke. Well, TWO cokes popped out.
Weird right?
I looked around, wondering if I was on one of those punk’d shows, and grabbed both bottles. Suddenly, a loud thrumming came from the machine, and lo and behold, 6 MORE COKES CAME OUT.
After checking my debit card statement, I found that I was only charged for ONE coke. Feeling giddy but slightly guilty, I nabbed all 8 bottles of coke and went back to my room. After telling my roommate what happened, she decided to go back to the coke machine with me and see if only the Cokes are affected.
She bought two Sprites, and what the fuck do ya know, she got those damn Sprites, AS WELL AS 11 FREE COKES. 
This of course jammed the machine, and before I knew it, I was on my knees with my arm up the Coke machine, practically birthing these little fuckers. I even read off their names on their bottles as I handed them to my roommate. We also found a random Cherry Coke had popped out as well.
Behold our finished family. 19 cokes, 2 Sprites, and a Cherry Coke, all the result of a very overworked and confused Coke machine.

mrscarstairs: Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story. So I was watching Fullmetal Alchemist with my roommate, when I got t...

Children, Confused, and Family: Allie Jake MorganAshleySandy Brooke Pat fCoke Corey Jason priteShare Sam John Friends brandonsgame: otherwise-called-squidpope: mrscarstairs: Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story. So I was watching Fullmetal Alchemist with my roommate, when I got thirsty and decided what the hell, Ima get myself a Coke. So I went down to the vending machine on our floor and swiped my card and pressed the button to vend the Coke. Well, TWO cokes popped out. Weird right? I looked around, wondering if I was on one of those punk’d shows, and grabbed both bottles. Suddenly, a loud thrumming came from the machine, and lo and behold, 6 MORE COKES CAME OUT. After checking my debit card statement, I found that I was only charged for ONE coke. Feeling giddy but slightly guilty, I nabbed all 8 bottles of coke and went back to my room. After telling my roommate what happened, she decided to go back to the coke machine with me and see if only the Cokes are affected. She bought two Sprites, and what the fuck do ya know, she got those damn Sprites, AS WELL AS 11 FREE COKES.  This of course jammed the machine, and before I knew it, I was on my knees with my arm up the Coke machine, practically birthing these little fuckers. I even read off their names on their bottles as I handed them to my roommate. We also found a random Cherry Coke had popped out as well. Behold our finished family. 19 cokes, 2 Sprites, and a Cherry Coke, all the result of a very overworked and confused Coke machine. what a sweet litter @xubbs
Children, Confused, and Family: Allie
 Jake
 MorganAshleySandy Brooke
 Pat
 fCoke
 Corey Jason
 priteShare
 Sam
 John
 Friends
brandonsgame:

otherwise-called-squidpope:

mrscarstairs:
Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story.
So I was watching Fullmetal Alchemist with my roommate, when I got thirsty and decided what the hell, Ima get myself a Coke. So I went down to the vending machine on our floor and swiped my card and pressed the button to vend the Coke. Well, TWO cokes popped out.
Weird right?
I looked around, wondering if I was on one of those punk’d shows, and grabbed both bottles. Suddenly, a loud thrumming came from the machine, and lo and behold, 6 MORE COKES CAME OUT.
After checking my debit card statement, I found that I was only charged for ONE coke. Feeling giddy but slightly guilty, I nabbed all 8 bottles of coke and went back to my room. After telling my roommate what happened, she decided to go back to the coke machine with me and see if only the Cokes are affected.
She bought two Sprites, and what the fuck do ya know, she got those damn Sprites, AS WELL AS 11 FREE COKES. 
This of course jammed the machine, and before I knew it, I was on my knees with my arm up the Coke machine, practically birthing these little fuckers. I even read off their names on their bottles as I handed them to my roommate. We also found a random Cherry Coke had popped out as well.
Behold our finished family. 19 cokes, 2 Sprites, and a Cherry Coke, all the result of a very overworked and confused Coke machine.

what a sweet litter

@xubbs

brandonsgame: otherwise-called-squidpope: mrscarstairs: Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story. So I was watching Fullmet...

Dicks, Fire, and Memes: TBT - SSG Corey Calkins Ladies and gentlemen, gather round the campfire as we light up your field day celebrations with a celebration of our own. That’s right, it’s time to throw this thing back to February 2010. A simpler time, a time before David Petraeus locked his knees at a senate hearing, and back when you could still tinkle on dead Taliban. omgtakemebackkkk⠀ ⠀ Today we’re talking about every Marine from 6th Reggie’s favorite little town in Afghanistan’s Helmand Province. marjahmarjahmarjah⠀ ⠀ What many of you may not know, however, is that them Gyrenes weren’t the only ones with their dicks in the dirt giving Terry the ol’ whatfor. Case in point, the subject of today’s OAF TBT; Staff Sgt Corey Calkins aka CashMoneyCorey⠀ ⠀ While serving as a weapons sergeant for ODA 3121, Cake Crushin’ Calkins was part of the coalition push through Marjah. On 18 February 2010, he led an assault of ANA troops against a platoon-sized element of Taliban fuckbois at a key intersection near the bazaar in Marjah. While under intense small arms, RPG, and mortar fire, Corey the Cockslapper charged the enemy position like a robust lesbian hopped up on Jack Daniels in a domestic dispute; inspiring his ANA troops to follow and overwhelm the Taliban position. TakeTheirShoes⠀ ⠀ After locking down the intersection and surrounding positions, Corey continued to fuck Terry six ways to Sunday by voluntarily continuing to drive the man-titty-havin’ soyboys out of smalls arms and RPG range so three critically wounded Marines could be evacuated. He aggressively pursued the enemy hotter than the homies in Tekashi 69’s cell block are pursuing his butthole. LemmeTugOnYoDickALilWhile⠀ ⠀ For his actions that day, SSG Calkins was awarded the Distinguished Service Cross and earned himself a lifetime supply of bummed cigs, fat pinches of dip, and near-beers from every Marine in the Ghan. ThereGoesMyHero ⠀ ⠀
Dicks, Fire, and Memes: TBT - SSG Corey Calkins Ladies and gentlemen, gather round the campfire as we light up your field day celebrations with a celebration of our own. That’s right, it’s time to throw this thing back to February 2010. A simpler time, a time before David Petraeus locked his knees at a senate hearing, and back when you could still tinkle on dead Taliban. omgtakemebackkkk⠀ ⠀ Today we’re talking about every Marine from 6th Reggie’s favorite little town in Afghanistan’s Helmand Province. marjahmarjahmarjah⠀ ⠀ What many of you may not know, however, is that them Gyrenes weren’t the only ones with their dicks in the dirt giving Terry the ol’ whatfor. Case in point, the subject of today’s OAF TBT; Staff Sgt Corey Calkins aka CashMoneyCorey⠀ ⠀ While serving as a weapons sergeant for ODA 3121, Cake Crushin’ Calkins was part of the coalition push through Marjah. On 18 February 2010, he led an assault of ANA troops against a platoon-sized element of Taliban fuckbois at a key intersection near the bazaar in Marjah. While under intense small arms, RPG, and mortar fire, Corey the Cockslapper charged the enemy position like a robust lesbian hopped up on Jack Daniels in a domestic dispute; inspiring his ANA troops to follow and overwhelm the Taliban position. TakeTheirShoes⠀ ⠀ After locking down the intersection and surrounding positions, Corey continued to fuck Terry six ways to Sunday by voluntarily continuing to drive the man-titty-havin’ soyboys out of smalls arms and RPG range so three critically wounded Marines could be evacuated. He aggressively pursued the enemy hotter than the homies in Tekashi 69’s cell block are pursuing his butthole. LemmeTugOnYoDickALilWhile⠀ ⠀ For his actions that day, SSG Calkins was awarded the Distinguished Service Cross and earned himself a lifetime supply of bummed cigs, fat pinches of dip, and near-beers from every Marine in the Ghan. ThereGoesMyHero ⠀ ⠀

TBT - SSG Corey Calkins Ladies and gentlemen, gather round the campfire as we light up your field day celebrations with a celebration of our...

Bad, Beard, and Blessed: nOrma1-people-sxare-me A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was "he's got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he'd be more comfortable and it made me realise the world isn't all that bad fitzefitcher #this is team skull its-just-a-phage The pet store I worked at had a pen with rabbits near the front door. On every side of the pen were huge signs saying You can pet me, but don't pick me up!" One day two absolutely huge guys came in and one immediately reaches into the pen to grab a rabbit. Before i could say anything his friend grabbed his arm and asked him "did you see the sign? He said "yeah! it says that you can pick them up but don't pet them! Then he went quiet for a moment and softly said "l didn't read it right did 1? And his friend just puts his arm on his shoulder and said "its ok, i know you've got that thing where words get mixed up. Let just pet these cute lil shits" And I still haven't gotten over that interaction. flowernstt I was walking my dog through Boston bc he likes the likes car rides. He's a little thing tbh we call him short and long So this huge scary man with a full beard approaches me like "hey can my buddy and I pet your dog? He gets nervous around dogs but your's is so small I think it's a good place to start" Ofc I was like "yes he's very friendly!" So this guy brings his equally big friend over and they sit on the floor while this man looks terrified of my tiny dog so big man number one asks "can I pick him up?" And i say yes so he picks him up and puts him on man number two's lap and man number two is abt to freak out and his friend straight up just goes "hey man, it's okay just relax lI'd never let anything hurt you. He's a good boy." I'll never forget it ever bc I know that man looked at me (5'3, glasses, probably wearing a sweater vest) and my dog (kinda goofy looking little thing) and was like 'ah yes the two least intimidating living things l've seen in Boston all day he'll feel relaxed around them and went out of his way to help his friend. It makes me so happy anotherdayforchaosfay My husband had this Dungeons and Dragons group ages ago, and one of the guys was TERRIFIED of cats. The moment he sees one he freezes up and can barely breathe. Said guy is almost seven feet tall and solid wall of muscle Whenever he came over l'd put the cats in the bedroom and chill out with a book because my cats don't like being shut away without one of us One of my cats was pawing at the door and meowing loudly, an indication she REALLY needs to use the litter box. I let her out and decide, hey, I'm hungry and decide to the kitchen. I forgot to shut the bedroom door. Next thing I hear is the group going completely silent. My husband very calmly asks me to come over and help him gather our two cats up. I go over to where the group is and my black cat, Cacoa, is rubbing up against the guy's leg purring, and doing her "let me on your lap meow. The other cat, Jasper, is sitting at the window, chilling out. I go over and pick up Cacoa and tell the big dude she's harmless, loves laps, and would be thrilled if he pet her. Very slowly he touches my cat's face, and she leans right into his hand. He then pets her back and sighs because she's really soft and purring like mad. After a few minutes he asks how to pick her up and if it's okay if she sits on his lap He spent the next six hours spoiling my cat. The next week he showed up with cat treats and toys because he fell in love with the cats. He told me he was doing some research on house cats, and even talked to a vet about them. A couple months later he adopted two cats and was as thrilled and excited as a new parent. ruffboijuliaburnsides Oh no a new one!!! jack-the-lion Blessed post. anaalihelmisimpukka I used to work at this stable for icelandic horses and every now and then this man would turn up by the field to just watch the horses. One time I walked by him as I was going to get the horses inside, and he went "I always wanted to learn how to ride but I'm afraid of horses because they're so huge. If I could ride ponies like this, maybe I'd dare but now I'm too big and heavy for them." You should have seen his face when I told them that actually they're not ponies, just small horses and they could totally carry him. His face just lit up. Next thing I'm helping him to get on back. Today he knows how to ride Source:nOrma1-people-sxare-me 935,955 notes A classic collection of feel good stories (with new additions)
Bad, Beard, and Blessed: nOrma1-people-sxare-me
 A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their
 conversation was "he's got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he'd
 be more comfortable and it made me realise the world isn't all that bad
 fitzefitcher
 #this is team skull
 its-just-a-phage
 The pet store I worked at had a pen with rabbits near the front door. On every
 side of the pen were huge signs saying You can pet me, but don't pick me up!"
 One day two absolutely huge guys came in and one immediately reaches into
 the pen to grab a rabbit. Before i could say anything his friend grabbed his arm
 and asked him "did you see the sign?
 He said "yeah! it says that you can pick them up but don't pet them!
 Then he went quiet for a moment and softly said "l didn't read it right did 1?
 And his friend just puts his arm on his shoulder and said "its ok, i know you've
 got that thing where words get mixed up. Let just pet these cute lil shits"
 And I still haven't gotten over that interaction.
 flowernstt
 I was walking my dog through Boston bc he likes the likes car rides. He's a little
 thing tbh we call him short and long
 So this huge scary man with a full beard approaches me like "hey can my buddy
 and I pet your dog? He gets nervous around dogs but your's is so small I think
 it's a good place to start"
 Ofc I was like "yes he's very friendly!" So this guy brings his equally big friend
 over and they sit on the floor while this man looks terrified of my tiny dog so big
 man number one asks "can I pick him up?" And i say yes so he picks him up and
 puts him on man number two's lap and man number two is abt to freak out and
 his friend straight up just goes "hey man, it's okay just relax lI'd never let anything
 hurt you. He's a good boy." I'll never forget it ever bc I know that man looked at
 me (5'3, glasses, probably wearing a sweater vest) and my dog (kinda goofy
 looking little thing) and was like 'ah yes the two least intimidating living things
 l've seen in Boston all day he'll feel relaxed around them and went out of his
 way to help his friend. It makes me so happy
 anotherdayforchaosfay
 My husband had this Dungeons and Dragons group ages ago, and one of the
 guys was TERRIFIED of cats. The moment he sees one he freezes up and can
 barely breathe. Said guy is almost seven feet tall and solid wall of muscle
 Whenever he came over l'd put the cats in the bedroom and chill out with a book
 because my cats don't like being shut away without one of us
 One of my cats was pawing at the door and meowing loudly, an indication she
 REALLY needs to use the litter box. I let her out and decide, hey, I'm hungry
 and decide to the kitchen. I forgot to shut the bedroom door.
 Next thing I hear is the group going completely silent. My husband very calmly
 asks me to come over and help him gather our two cats up. I go over to where
 the group is and my black cat, Cacoa, is rubbing up against the guy's leg
 purring, and doing her "let me on your lap meow. The other cat, Jasper, is
 sitting at the window, chilling out. I go over and pick up Cacoa and tell the big
 dude she's harmless, loves laps, and would be thrilled if he pet her. Very slowly
 he touches my cat's face, and she leans right into his hand. He then pets her
 back and sighs because she's really soft and purring like mad. After a few
 minutes he asks how to pick her up and if it's okay if she sits on his lap
 He spent the next six hours spoiling my cat. The next week he showed up with
 cat treats and toys because he fell in love with the cats. He told me he was
 doing some research on house cats, and even talked to a vet about them. A
 couple months later he adopted two cats and was as thrilled and excited as a
 new parent.
 ruffboijuliaburnsides
 Oh no a new one!!!
 jack-the-lion
 Blessed post.
 anaalihelmisimpukka
 I used to work at this stable for icelandic horses and every now and then this
 man would turn up by the field to just watch the horses. One time I walked by
 him as I was going to get the horses inside, and he went "I always wanted to
 learn how to ride but I'm afraid of horses because they're so huge. If I could ride
 ponies like this, maybe I'd dare but now I'm too big and heavy for them." You
 should have seen his face when I told them that actually they're not ponies, just
 small horses and they could totally carry him. His face just lit up. Next thing I'm
 helping him to get on back. Today he knows how to ride
 Source:nOrma1-people-sxare-me
 935,955 notes
A classic collection of feel good stories (with new additions)

A classic collection of feel good stories (with new additions)

Hunter, First, and Bce: The first wooden pistols/firearms used by early hunter-gather humans (circa ~50,000-13000 BCE)
Hunter, First, and Bce: The first wooden pistols/firearms used by early hunter-gather humans (circa ~50,000-13000 BCE)

The first wooden pistols/firearms used by early hunter-gather humans (circa ~50,000-13000 BCE)

Memes, Supreme, and Supreme Court: AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite The justices of the U.S. Supreme Court gather for a formal group portrait to include the new Associate Justice Brett Kavanaugh.
Memes, Supreme, and Supreme Court: AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite
The justices of the U.S. Supreme Court gather for a formal group portrait to include the new Associate Justice Brett Kavanaugh.

The justices of the U.S. Supreme Court gather for a formal group portrait to include the new Associate Justice Brett Kavanaugh.

Crying, God, and Lol: LEVITICUS 19:9 107 man have sexual telations with yoursell have sexual relations with her. vomit on 29"'Everyone who does respect ave sexual relations with both a woman and JUDGES 8:5 223 ater er rink Grasping go down your hands crying out go down give into your go down ands. down on the seashore your hand the inection you ridiculedt Go o inside Abimeles to the entrance of killed as they fle in Arumah, s and his clan out of Sh ext day the people the fields, and this v 3So he took his r three companies a the fields. When he I get to the edge an 714 JEREMIAH 28:13 Do not let name you or harm your heart. gath- er A Letter to the Exiles raise the sword, against them said:they scorn and reproach, not listened and again For they have again have not listened you ver . You became very 1You took your father an rubbed salt in No one looked on you with pity or had compassion er for on the day you were born you were despised your sons and daughters not enoughYou slaughtered I looked enough at you and saw that you were ACTS 27:41 1021 should en bluemantle: Recently my grandmother found out I’m queer. Her response was to tell me that she disapproves of me living with my “friend” (i.e. my girlfriend) and that I should give up my vile queer ways and become a Christian (Lol). She even sent me a bible.  Here are its remains, which I made into black-out poetry. Poem 1: Bisexual (from Leviticus 19:9)– “Have sexual relations with her.  Have sexual relations with him.  Have sexual relations with both a woman and a man.  Have sexual relations with yourself. Vomit on everyone who does not respect you.” Poem 2: Fisting (from Judges 8:5)– “water/ lap the water/ drink/go down to drink/your hands/go down/I give into your hands/go down/encouraged/down/on the seashore/the whole hand/your hand/inside/I get to the edge/and shout/grasping/crying out/Beth/Beth/Beth/Beth/Beth/God/I came” Poem 3: A Letter to the Exiles (from Jeremiah 28:13) – “Ze said: ‘Do not let lies name you, nor harm your heart. Gather. Raise the sword against them. They scorn and reproach, for they have not listened– again and again have not listened.’ ” Poem 4: Child (from Ezekiel 16:22) – “Your father and your mother rubbed salt in. No one looked on you with pity or had compassion enough for you, for on the day you were born you were despised. Live! Grow.  I looked at you and saw you were enough.” Poem 5: Father (from Ezekiel 16:22) – “You never adored us. You became very angry. You took some out on us. Your sons and daughters were not enough? You slaughtered– in all your detestable practices– our youth.” Poem 6: Misandry (from Acts 27:41) – “Dangerous men should be broken.”
Crying, God, and Lol: LEVITICUS 19:9 107
 man
 have sexual telations with
 yoursell
 have sexual relations
 with her.
 vomit
 on
 29"'Everyone who does
 respect
 ave sexual relations with both
 a woman and

 JUDGES 8:5 223
 ater
 er
 rink
 Grasping
 go down
 your hands
 crying out
 go down
 give
 into your
 go down
 ands.
 down
 on the seashore
 your hand
 the inection
 you ridiculedt Go o
 inside
 Abimeles
 to the entrance of
 killed as they fle
 in Arumah, s
 and his clan out of Sh
 ext day the people
 the fields, and this v
 3So he took his r
 three companies a
 the fields. When he
 I get to the edge
 an

 714 JEREMIAH 28:13
 Do not let
 name
 you
 or
 harm
 your heart.
 gath-
 er
 A Letter to the Exiles
 raise
 the sword,
 against them
 said:they
 scorn
 and reproach,
 not listened
 and again
 For they have
 again
 have not listened

 you
 ver
 . You became
 very
 1You took
 your father
 an
 rubbed salt
 in No one looked on you
 with pity or had compassion er
 for on the day
 you were born you were despised
 your sons and daughters
 not
 enoughYou slaughtered
 I looked
 enough
 at you and saw that you were

 ACTS 27:41 1021
 should
 en
bluemantle:

Recently my grandmother found out I’m queer. Her response was to tell me that she disapproves of me living with my “friend” (i.e. my girlfriend) and that I should give up my vile queer ways and become a Christian (Lol). She even sent me a bible.  Here are its remains, which I made into black-out poetry.
Poem 1: Bisexual (from Leviticus 19:9)– “Have sexual relations with her.  Have sexual relations with him.  Have sexual relations with both a woman and a man.  Have sexual relations with yourself. Vomit on everyone who does not respect you.”
Poem 2: Fisting (from Judges 8:5)– “water/ lap the water/ drink/go down to drink/your hands/go down/I give into your hands/go down/encouraged/down/on the seashore/the whole hand/your hand/inside/I get to the edge/and shout/grasping/crying out/Beth/Beth/Beth/Beth/Beth/God/I came”
Poem 3: A Letter to the Exiles (from Jeremiah 28:13) – “Ze said: ‘Do not let lies name you, nor harm your heart. Gather. Raise the sword against them. They scorn and reproach, for they have not listened– again and again have not listened.’ ”
Poem 4: Child (from Ezekiel 16:22) – “Your father and your mother rubbed salt in. No one looked on you with pity or had compassion enough for you, for on the day you were born you were despised. Live! Grow.  I looked at you and saw you were enough.”
Poem 5: Father (from Ezekiel 16:22) – “You never adored us. You became very angry. You took some out on us. Your sons and daughters were not enough? You slaughtered– in all your detestable practices– our youth.”
Poem 6: Misandry (from Acts 27:41) – “Dangerous men should be broken.”

bluemantle: Recently my grandmother found out I’m queer. Her response was to tell me that she disapproves of me living with my “friend” (i....