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Dogs, Skinny, and Girl: I found this little girl while I was 4x4ing today. She's my friend now.
Dogs, Skinny, and Girl: I found this little girl while I was 4x4ing today. She's my friend now.

I found this little girl while I was 4x4ing today. She's my friend now.

College, Family, and Parents: botanyshitposts: botanyshitposts: botanyshitposts: botanyshitposts: botanyshitposts: botanyshitposts: idk how the hell i’ve run a blog called ‘botanyshitposts’ for almost four years now without ever thinking to talk about this but in high school my little brother wanted a pet that wouldnt die so we got him a moss ball for $8 at a pet store and he named it tiki and it lives in this dedicated plastic tank at our parents’ house even though we’re both at college now. usually it doesnt do anything but over the past two weeks of winter break our family has watched in horror as it has gone about the process of slowly and ominously rising from its usual position at the depths of its abode to the top, where it now floats with gravel bits stuck to it from literal years of not moving. my mom has moved it to behind the sink so now whenever i go to wash my hands in the kitchen i have to face it and im scared just squeezed all the water out of her like yall said in the replies and i put her back and shes still floating….maybe she just likes it up there update: she sank to the bottom and stayed there for days and i thought this story was over until i WALKED OVER TO THE SINK JUST NOW test: pet her, tell her she is a good moss ball results: she sit  wild things about this post: -the amount of porn bots mass reblogging this bc of the word ‘ball’ -the amount of people with extensive knowledge about native moss ball habitats and care coming out of the woodwork to reply to this post  -the amount of people endeared and riveted by her ongoing performance
College, Family, and Parents: botanyshitposts:
botanyshitposts:

botanyshitposts:

botanyshitposts:

botanyshitposts:

botanyshitposts:
idk how the hell i’ve run a blog called ‘botanyshitposts’ for almost four years now without ever thinking to talk about this but in high school my little brother wanted a pet that wouldnt die so we got him a moss ball for $8 at a pet store and he named it tiki and it lives in this dedicated plastic tank at our parents’ house even though we’re both at college now. usually it doesnt do anything but over the past two weeks of winter break our family has watched in horror as it has gone about the process of slowly and ominously rising from its usual position at the depths of its abode to the top, where it now floats with gravel bits stuck to it from literal years of not moving. my mom has moved it to behind the sink so now whenever i go to wash my hands in the kitchen i have to face it and im scared
just squeezed all the water out of her like yall said in the replies and i put her back and shes still floating….maybe she just likes it up there


update: she sank to the bottom and stayed there for days and i thought this story was over until i WALKED OVER TO THE SINK JUST NOW

test: pet her, tell her she is a good moss ball
results: she sit 

wild things about this post:
-the amount of porn bots mass reblogging this bc of the word ‘ball’
-the amount of people with extensive knowledge about native moss ball habitats and care coming out of the woodwork to reply to this post 
-the amount of people endeared and riveted by her ongoing performance

botanyshitposts: botanyshitposts: botanyshitposts: botanyshitposts: botanyshitposts: botanyshitposts: idk how the hell i’ve run a blog c...

College, Family, and Parents: botanyshitposts: botanyshitposts: botanyshitposts: botanyshitposts: botanyshitposts: botanyshitposts: idk how the hell i’ve run a blog called ‘botanyshitposts’ for almost four years now without ever thinking to talk about this but in high school my little brother wanted a pet that wouldnt die so we got him a moss ball for $8 at a pet store and he named it tiki and it lives in this dedicated plastic tank at our parents’ house even though we’re both at college now. usually it doesnt do anything but over the past two weeks of winter break our family has watched in horror as it has gone about the process of slowly and ominously rising from its usual position at the depths of its abode to the top, where it now floats with gravel bits stuck to it from literal years of not moving. my mom has moved it to behind the sink so now whenever i go to wash my hands in the kitchen i have to face it and im scared just squeezed all the water out of her like yall said in the replies and i put her back and shes still floating….maybe she just likes it up there update: she sank to the bottom and stayed there for days and i thought this story was over until i WALKED OVER TO THE SINK JUST NOW test: pet her, tell her she is a good moss ball results: she sit  wild things about this post: -the amount of porn bots mass reblogging this bc of the word ‘ball’ -the amount of people with extensive knowledge about native moss ball habitats and care coming out of the woodwork to reply to this post  -the amount of people endeared and riveted by her ongoing performance
College, Family, and Parents: botanyshitposts:
botanyshitposts:

botanyshitposts:

botanyshitposts:

botanyshitposts:

botanyshitposts:
idk how the hell i’ve run a blog called ‘botanyshitposts’ for almost four years now without ever thinking to talk about this but in high school my little brother wanted a pet that wouldnt die so we got him a moss ball for $8 at a pet store and he named it tiki and it lives in this dedicated plastic tank at our parents’ house even though we’re both at college now. usually it doesnt do anything but over the past two weeks of winter break our family has watched in horror as it has gone about the process of slowly and ominously rising from its usual position at the depths of its abode to the top, where it now floats with gravel bits stuck to it from literal years of not moving. my mom has moved it to behind the sink so now whenever i go to wash my hands in the kitchen i have to face it and im scared
just squeezed all the water out of her like yall said in the replies and i put her back and shes still floating….maybe she just likes it up there


update: she sank to the bottom and stayed there for days and i thought this story was over until i WALKED OVER TO THE SINK JUST NOW

test: pet her, tell her she is a good moss ball
results: she sit 

wild things about this post:
-the amount of porn bots mass reblogging this bc of the word ‘ball’
-the amount of people with extensive knowledge about native moss ball habitats and care coming out of the woodwork to reply to this post 
-the amount of people endeared and riveted by her ongoing performance

botanyshitposts: botanyshitposts: botanyshitposts: botanyshitposts: botanyshitposts: botanyshitposts: idk how the hell i’ve run a blog c...

Advice, America, and Bless Up: The moment you tell her to 'go get it! Say bruh have u ever craved flaming hot Cheetos covered in nacho cheese and jalapeños with a sundae next to it that has mangoes, ice cream, sprinkles, a banana and a whole bunch of other sweet delicious things that don’t necessarily go together? “Smash is u pregnant? U suppose to be a man? Where these cravings come from?” I am a man and I am not pregnant cot damn it is called leg day at the gym and my quads jello RN and this place is real asf it is called La Michoacana 🍦😍. You do not have to be carrying a baby to enjoy this heavenly place, but if you are, it probably make it that much better 🤰🏻. You can find these joints everywhere. There are a bunch in Chicago and they are splendid. “wow smash you really gon stunt on us like that, I live in Bombacrab Missouri, we don’t have anything that spicy here.” BISH YES U DO, LOOK 👏 FOR 👏 THE 👏 MEXICANS 👏😂. I been telling y’all they got treasures for days u just gotta be exploratory. Perhaps a Mangonada? Lil mango wif chamoy sauce, mangos, lime juice, chili powder? “HOT SPICES ON FRUIT SMASH U EITHER WILDING OR U REALLY MEXICAN.” well I am not Mexican so that mean I am wilding, yes, AND? 😂 just put in ya mouth. personally I eat a$$ so I’ll try anything once ... my palette very experimental 🥳. The worst that can happen is that you love it and then you start making mangonada for yourself and then put on your tinder profile that you make a mean mangonada and you get swiped by a young investment banker named Julio who grew up around Mexico city and then got a degree in engineering and moved to America to kill it in banking and now you getting married and taking trips first class on his frequent flyer miles and your friend Megan is like “damn my boyfriend Jim is still sleeping on my couch, playing fork knife on my TV and stealing money out of my purse how did you get to be balling like this?” And you can say I took smash’s advice and started making spicy mango drinks and now I’m pregnant with my third mixed baby and we going to Paris next month. Boom! Bless up 😍😂
Advice, America, and Bless Up: The moment you tell her to 'go get it!
Say bruh have u ever craved flaming hot Cheetos covered in nacho cheese and jalapeños with a sundae next to it that has mangoes, ice cream, sprinkles, a banana and a whole bunch of other sweet delicious things that don’t necessarily go together? “Smash is u pregnant? U suppose to be a man? Where these cravings come from?” I am a man and I am not pregnant cot damn it is called leg day at the gym and my quads jello RN and this place is real asf it is called La Michoacana 🍦😍. You do not have to be carrying a baby to enjoy this heavenly place, but if you are, it probably make it that much better 🤰🏻. You can find these joints everywhere. There are a bunch in Chicago and they are splendid. “wow smash you really gon stunt on us like that, I live in Bombacrab Missouri, we don’t have anything that spicy here.” BISH YES U DO, LOOK 👏 FOR 👏 THE 👏 MEXICANS 👏😂. I been telling y’all they got treasures for days u just gotta be exploratory. Perhaps a Mangonada? Lil mango wif chamoy sauce, mangos, lime juice, chili powder? “HOT SPICES ON FRUIT SMASH U EITHER WILDING OR U REALLY MEXICAN.” well I am not Mexican so that mean I am wilding, yes, AND? 😂 just put in ya mouth. personally I eat a$$ so I’ll try anything once ... my palette very experimental 🥳. The worst that can happen is that you love it and then you start making mangonada for yourself and then put on your tinder profile that you make a mean mangonada and you get swiped by a young investment banker named Julio who grew up around Mexico city and then got a degree in engineering and moved to America to kill it in banking and now you getting married and taking trips first class on his frequent flyer miles and your friend Megan is like “damn my boyfriend Jim is still sleeping on my couch, playing fork knife on my TV and stealing money out of my purse how did you get to be balling like this?” And you can say I took smash’s advice and started making spicy mango drinks and now I’m pregnant with my third mixed baby and we going to Paris next month. Boom! Bless up 😍😂

Say bruh have u ever craved flaming hot Cheetos covered in nacho cheese and jalapeños with a sundae next to it that has mangoes, ice cream, ...

Community, Crush, and Dad: Kaitl @itzzkait For anyone who says that "love, simon isn't important" jade @loserichie in 2014 l came out to my mom as bisexual, & she told me she would never look at me the same, I cried in the bathroom for 6 hours & my entire family ignored me for days. I was called disgusting & my dad told me l'd "get over it eventually" my mom tried to force me to be straight 3/23/18, 12:54 AM jade @loserichie in 2016 I told my mom I had a crush on a girl, we cried in a parking lot & she told me she wasn't okay with it, I asked the girl out anyways. In 2017 I flew over 4000 miles to meet this girl as we celebrated being together for over a year, we had our first kiss: on a feeris wheel 3/23/18, 12:54 AM jade @loserichie It's 2018, tonight I saw love simon with my mom, after a 4 year journey of teaching her to love me for who l am, she grabbed my hand in the theatre while simon came out to his family, & mouthed "im sorry" to me with tears in her eyes because when I came out l never got acceptance 3/23/18, 12:54 AM jade @loserichie 3/23/18 when we were leaving the theatre she talked to me about my girlfriend proudly without caring that other people could hear us, something she would've never done even just a year ago 3 ,00 19.6K jade @loserichie 3/23/18 my mom had always been mad at me for not coming out sooner, she had been mad because I was different, but love simon gave her a glimpse on how hard it is to accept yourself as someone in the Igbt+ community, tonight my mom has accepted me more than she ever has 31,614 614 20.7K D 20.7K 2
Community, Crush, and Dad: Kaitl
 @itzzkait
 For anyone who says that "love, simon
 isn't important"

 jade
 @loserichie
 in 2014 l came out to my mom as
 bisexual, & she told me she would
 never look at me the same, I cried in
 the bathroom for 6 hours & my entire
 family ignored me for days. I was
 called disgusting & my dad told me l'd
 "get over it eventually" my mom tried
 to force me to be straight
 3/23/18, 12:54 AM

 jade
 @loserichie
 in 2016 I told my mom I had a crush on
 a girl, we cried in a parking lot & she
 told me she wasn't okay with it, I asked
 the girl out anyways. In 2017 I flew
 over 4000 miles to meet this girl as
 we celebrated being together for over
 a year, we had our first kiss: on a feeris
 wheel
 3/23/18, 12:54 AM

 jade
 @loserichie
 It's 2018, tonight I saw love simon with
 my mom, after a 4 year journey of
 teaching her to love me for who l am,
 she grabbed my hand in the theatre
 while simon came out to his family, &
 mouthed "im sorry" to me with tears in
 her eyes because when I came out l
 never got acceptance
 3/23/18, 12:54 AM

 jade @loserichie 3/23/18
 when we were leaving the theatre she
 talked to me about my girlfriend proudly
 without caring that other people could
 hear us, something she would've never
 done even just a year ago
 3 ,00 19.6K
 jade @loserichie 3/23/18
 my mom had always been mad at me
 for not coming out sooner, she had
 been mad because I was different, but
 love simon gave her a glimpse on how
 hard it is to accept yourself as someone
 in the Igbt+ community, tonight my
 mom has accepted me more than she
 ever has
 31,614
 614 20.7K D
 20.7K
 2
Community, Crush, and Dad: Kaitl @itzzkait For anyone who says that "love, simon isn't important" jade @loserichie in 2014 l came out to my mom as bisexual, & she told me she would never look at me the same, I cried in the bathroom for 6 hours & my entire family ignored me for days. I was called disgusting & my dad told me l'd "get over it eventually" my mom tried to force me to be straight 3/23/18, 12:54 AM jade @loserichie in 2016 I told my mom I had a crush on a girl, we cried in a parking lot & she told me she wasn't okay with it, I asked the girl out anyways. In 2017 I flew over 4000 miles to meet this girl as we celebrated being together for over a year, we had our first kiss: on a feeris wheel 3/23/18, 12:54 AM jade @loserichie It's 2018, tonight I saw love simon with my mom, after a 4 year journey of teaching her to love me for who l am, she grabbed my hand in the theatre while simon came out to his family, & mouthed "im sorry" to me with tears in her eyes because when I came out l never got acceptance 3/23/18, 12:54 AM jade @loserichie 3/23/18 when we were leaving the theatre she talked to me about my girlfriend proudly without caring that other people could hear us, something she would've never done even just a year ago 3 ,00 19.6K jade @loserichie 3/23/18 my mom had always been mad at me for not coming out sooner, she had been mad because I was different, but love simon gave her a glimpse on how hard it is to accept yourself as someone in the Igbt+ community, tonight my mom has accepted me more than she ever has 31,614 614 20.7K D 20.7K 2
Community, Crush, and Dad: Kaitl
 @itzzkait
 For anyone who says that "love, simon
 isn't important"

 jade
 @loserichie
 in 2014 l came out to my mom as
 bisexual, & she told me she would
 never look at me the same, I cried in
 the bathroom for 6 hours & my entire
 family ignored me for days. I was
 called disgusting & my dad told me l'd
 "get over it eventually" my mom tried
 to force me to be straight
 3/23/18, 12:54 AM

 jade
 @loserichie
 in 2016 I told my mom I had a crush on
 a girl, we cried in a parking lot & she
 told me she wasn't okay with it, I asked
 the girl out anyways. In 2017 I flew
 over 4000 miles to meet this girl as
 we celebrated being together for over
 a year, we had our first kiss: on a feeris
 wheel
 3/23/18, 12:54 AM

 jade
 @loserichie
 It's 2018, tonight I saw love simon with
 my mom, after a 4 year journey of
 teaching her to love me for who l am,
 she grabbed my hand in the theatre
 while simon came out to his family, &
 mouthed "im sorry" to me with tears in
 her eyes because when I came out l
 never got acceptance
 3/23/18, 12:54 AM

 jade @loserichie 3/23/18
 when we were leaving the theatre she
 talked to me about my girlfriend proudly
 without caring that other people could
 hear us, something she would've never
 done even just a year ago
 3 ,00 19.6K
 jade @loserichie 3/23/18
 my mom had always been mad at me
 for not coming out sooner, she had
 been mad because I was different, but
 love simon gave her a glimpse on how
 hard it is to accept yourself as someone
 in the Igbt+ community, tonight my
 mom has accepted me more than she
 ever has
 31,614
 614 20.7K D
 20.7K
 2
Community, Crush, and Dad: Kaitl @itzzkait For anyone who says that "love, simon isn't important" jade @loserichie in 2014 l came out to my mom as bisexual, & she told me she would never look at me the same, I cried in the bathroom for 6 hours & my entire family ignored me for days. I was called disgusting & my dad told me l'd "get over it eventually" my mom tried to force me to be straight 3/23/18, 12:54 AM jade @loserichie in 2016 I told my mom I had a crush on a girl, we cried in a parking lot & she told me she wasn't okay with it, I asked the girl out anyways. In 2017 I flew over 4000 miles to meet this girl as we celebrated being together for over a year, we had our first kiss: on a feeris wheel 3/23/18, 12:54 AM jade @loserichie It's 2018, tonight I saw love simon with my mom, after a 4 year journey of teaching her to love me for who l am, she grabbed my hand in the theatre while simon came out to his family, & mouthed "im sorry" to me with tears in her eyes because when I came out l never got acceptance 3/23/18, 12:54 AM jade @loserichie 3/23/18 when we were leaving the theatre she talked to me about my girlfriend proudly without caring that other people could hear us, something she would've never done even just a year ago 3 ,00 19.6K jade @loserichie 3/23/18 my mom had always been mad at me for not coming out sooner, she had been mad because I was different, but love simon gave her a glimpse on how hard it is to accept yourself as someone in the Igbt+ community, tonight my mom has accepted me more than she ever has 31,614 614 20.7K D 20.7K 2
Community, Crush, and Dad: Kaitl
 @itzzkait
 For anyone who says that "love, simon
 isn't important"

 jade
 @loserichie
 in 2014 l came out to my mom as
 bisexual, & she told me she would
 never look at me the same, I cried in
 the bathroom for 6 hours & my entire
 family ignored me for days. I was
 called disgusting & my dad told me l'd
 "get over it eventually" my mom tried
 to force me to be straight
 3/23/18, 12:54 AM

 jade
 @loserichie
 in 2016 I told my mom I had a crush on
 a girl, we cried in a parking lot & she
 told me she wasn't okay with it, I asked
 the girl out anyways. In 2017 I flew
 over 4000 miles to meet this girl as
 we celebrated being together for over
 a year, we had our first kiss: on a feeris
 wheel
 3/23/18, 12:54 AM

 jade
 @loserichie
 It's 2018, tonight I saw love simon with
 my mom, after a 4 year journey of
 teaching her to love me for who l am,
 she grabbed my hand in the theatre
 while simon came out to his family, &
 mouthed "im sorry" to me with tears in
 her eyes because when I came out l
 never got acceptance
 3/23/18, 12:54 AM

 jade @loserichie 3/23/18
 when we were leaving the theatre she
 talked to me about my girlfriend proudly
 without caring that other people could
 hear us, something she would've never
 done even just a year ago
 3 ,00 19.6K
 jade @loserichie 3/23/18
 my mom had always been mad at me
 for not coming out sooner, she had
 been mad because I was different, but
 love simon gave her a glimpse on how
 hard it is to accept yourself as someone
 in the Igbt+ community, tonight my
 mom has accepted me more than she
 ever has
 31,614
 614 20.7K D
 20.7K
 2
Bad, Clothes, and Fall: brucebannersbadmanners It occurred to me that the T-rex (we really need an official name for her) from the original Jurassic Park only killed one human in the movie, and it was that shitty lawyer who abandoned the kids anyway, so he had it coming. She wasn't in the second or third film as those took place on the other island. She was, however, in Jurassic World where (spoilers) she saved everyone's asses, JUST like she did at the end of the first film. So let's do a tally here. Humans Killed: 1 Humans Saved: 8 + 1 velociraptor In conclusion the T-rex is the real protagonist of the series thank you. raptorix Of course!! She was the pride and joy of the park. She probably had an audience when she hatched. She imprinted on people, not dinosaurs. Her whole life she was given her proteins handed to her, she has never had to really hunt to survive. She is like a captive-bred tiger. She probably had favorite human handlers. She could tell which humans were the nasty one Reframe the movie where Rexy (that's what l'm calling her) is just as scared as the humans that the power went out, that things were falling apart. She was exploring outside her habitat. She wanted to play with the jeeps. Maybe she wanted to help get the small human out of jeep? Be free, tiny humans! Come back, tiny humans! Don't fall off the cliff, tiny humans! The lawyer smelled bad. Rexy really disliked his smell. He tried to hide it on the toilet, but her nose easily found him. He didn't taste as good as goat, though. His stinky clothes gave her a stomach ache for days. Rexy tried to figure out where the humans went. She found them at the visitors center. And when she got there, a rude raptor wanted to pick a fight with her. No! Get off my bak. What is this thing falling on me??? Someone bring me a goat I'm hungry True Protagonist
Bad, Clothes, and Fall: brucebannersbadmanners
 It occurred to me that the T-rex (we really need an official
 name for her) from the original Jurassic Park only killed one
 human in the movie, and it was that shitty lawyer who
 abandoned the kids anyway, so he had it coming. She wasn't
 in the second or third film as those took place on the other
 island. She was, however, in Jurassic World where (spoilers)
 she saved everyone's asses, JUST like she did at the end of
 the first film. So let's do a tally here.
 Humans Killed: 1
 Humans Saved: 8 + 1 velociraptor
 In conclusion the T-rex is the real protagonist of the series
 thank you.
 raptorix
 Of course!!
 She was the pride and joy of the park. She probably had an
 audience when she hatched. She imprinted on people, not
 dinosaurs. Her whole life she was given her proteins handed
 to her, she has never had to really hunt to survive. She is like
 a captive-bred tiger. She probably had favorite human
 handlers. She could tell which humans were the nasty one
 Reframe the movie where Rexy (that's what l'm calling her) is
 just as scared as the humans that the power went out, that
 things were falling apart.
 She was exploring outside her habitat. She wanted to play
 with the jeeps. Maybe she wanted to help get the small
 human out of jeep? Be free, tiny humans! Come back, tiny
 humans! Don't fall off the cliff, tiny humans!
 The lawyer smelled bad. Rexy really disliked his smell. He
 tried to hide it on the toilet, but her nose easily found him. He
 didn't taste as good as goat, though. His stinky clothes gave
 her a stomach ache for days.
 Rexy tried to figure out where the humans went. She found
 them at the visitors center. And when she got there, a rude
 raptor wanted to pick a fight with her. No! Get off my bak.
 What is this thing falling on me??? Someone bring me a goat
 I'm hungry
True Protagonist

True Protagonist

Be Like, Club, and Fake: a tale of trees and espionage okay story time: my professor (lovely man, married to our TA, 52", about as So studies trees. it was about three hours into our social sciences course, last lecture before exams, everyone was frazzled and exhausted, so he told us about his most exciting/in-depth research to date to cheer us up. (the few of us who actually showed up were like ok sir im sure its fascinating but in our minds we were totally like its trees what. is. exciting. about trees. You might be wondering the same thing-the acorns? the leaves? the roots? BUT NO. IMMA FUCKIN TELL YA.) ANYWAY we settle in, he had a few pictures loaded up from his field work (we were chuckling at this point.... 'hehehe field work' i giggled to my frend. its trees.) and began to tell his tale. it's long, imma warn you, but.... god. just read it theres an species of tree called the cucumber tree(Magnolia in our region there's only-280 that are registered by the government, yadda yadda yadda, my prof thought that was tragic (i know) but also strange, because when he was writing his thesis about local trees years ago, he kept coming across cucumber trees in really random places. we're talking like etc. IMPOSSIBLE because, according to tree very strictly protected by the govenment, and thus super legai to possess, transport, collect, buy or sell any part of a living or dead member of a listed species if it originates from sources. essentially, the govt takes control over g the trees and anyone who independently raises them is breaking the law (i kno) so he'd ask people "do you have a permit for these trees?" and they were like "uh no, it's just a tree someone sold me,i think it looks nice, are you gonna arrest me?" so he'd be like nah nah nah just tell me who sold it to you" eventually, months/years later, someone did, and turns out it was like this underground sort-of illegal tree dealing club (i know). so my prof went, got a bit of funding from the government, who were getting pissed at independent cucumber tree numbers, and THIS IS WHERE IT GETS INTO THE GOOD SHIT I STS he infitrates the tree trafficking organization. he buys a cucumber tree from an independent nursery, raises it for months, ensures he gets noticed by the traffickers, and then INFILTRATES it and convinces its leader to LET HIM JOIN he has to pay like a steep entrance fee, which he does (and it blows my mind that the government of my country paid money to illegal tree dealers), but then he is given full access to records and maps because they think he's one of them, not now this part blows my mind because the tree lords don't even have to try very hard to find cucumber trees because government agents MARK THE TREES AND DISTINCTLY TAG THEM SAYING THIS IS ENDANGERED DO NOT hangs out with the members so much that he figures out their hit spots". these are where the trees are relatively secluded and unguarded. (he writes all this shit and numbers down for BUT THATS NOT ENOUGH BECAUSE THE GOVT SAYS HES WASTING THEIR FUNDING IF HE DOESNT HAVE PROOF and they are willing to take LEGAL ACTION for misuse of funding (my prof doesn't have the money nore time nor power to take them to court, which would also blow his cover). so my prof literally STAKES OUT a copse of cucumber trees at a recognized wildlife reserve for. DAYS. he camps there, and watches the trees, is about to give up, he's going off an unreliable rumor from the traffickers that a harvester would be going there within the next week. finally, this guy comes and takes the cucumber tree seeds from the CLEARLY MARKED trees by the government, and my prof takes pictures (we are shown these pictures, most of us are speechless at this point). dozens of candid shots of a man my grandpa's age with a grocery store bag, garden shears, and a ladder, clipping away the illegal seeds and then going on his way so my prof has the proof, he's been undercover for months now at this point, he writes up his report, gives it to the government who is likeoh shit", helps them draft up a new LESS COMPLETELY FUCKING OBVious way of marking e wouldn't damage them further, etc.), and then never retuns to the tree traffickers. he'd given them a fake name, address, (so that way there was a full minute of stunned silence from us students at this point, during which he grew more and more nervous (again, he's a muffin) and all of us students are just like whoa. we asked him what happened to the remaining illegal cucumber trees & if he turned the tree dealers in to the government, and that is when he smiles a little bit and shows us the last few pictures. because here's the kicker... he never turned the smugglers in. he burned all the data he collected, defied the government pressuring him to turn them in, and the only reason he's not incarcerated is because his work is so prominent in certain circles now & universities love him, that there would be an uproar if he got arrested. he's like a fucking anti-hero and then he tells us (ill never forget, it's the most inspirational green-thumb thing in the world) "it may be illegal', but those who risk their liberty to-save the world- should never be reprimanded, no matter what we are all stunned. some of us are considering dendrology as a field we'd now be interested in pursuing. he clicks his slide one final time, before we leave our last lecture and, since he had an asthma attack (lil muffin) he didn't attend our exam, so and there, on the slides, the last picture? THERE HE IS. in his own backyard. with his equally lovely TA wife. both grinning GROWN. ILLEGAL. CUCUMBER TREE 72,767 Tree espionage
Be Like, Club, and Fake: a tale of trees and
 espionage
 okay story time:
 my professor (lovely man, married to our TA, 52", about as
 So
 studies trees. it was about three hours into our social
 sciences course, last lecture before exams, everyone was
 frazzled and exhausted, so he told us about his most
 exciting/in-depth research to date to cheer us up.
 (the few of us who actually showed up were like ok sir im
 sure its fascinating but in our minds we were totally like its
 trees what. is. exciting. about trees. You might be wondering
 the same thing-the acorns? the leaves? the roots? BUT NO.
 IMMA FUCKIN TELL YA.)
 ANYWAY we settle in, he had a few pictures loaded up from
 his field work (we were chuckling at this point.... 'hehehe field
 work' i giggled to my frend. its trees.) and began to tell his
 tale. it's long, imma warn you, but.... god. just read it
 theres an species of tree called the cucumber tree(Magnolia
 in our region there's only-280 that are registered by the
 government, yadda yadda yadda, my prof thought that was
 tragic (i know) but also strange, because when he was writing
 his thesis about local trees years ago, he kept coming across
 cucumber trees in really random places. we're talking like
 etc.
 IMPOSSIBLE because, according to tree
 very strictly protected by the govenment, and thus super
 legai to possess, transport, collect, buy or sell any part of a
 living or dead member of a listed species if it originates from
 sources. essentially, the govt takes control over g
 the trees and anyone who independently raises them is
 breaking the law (i kno)
 so he'd ask people "do you have a permit for these trees?"
 and they were like "uh no, it's just a tree someone sold me,i
 think it looks nice, are you gonna arrest me?" so he'd be like
 nah nah nah just tell me who sold it to you"
 eventually, months/years later, someone did, and turns out it
 was like this underground sort-of illegal tree dealing club
 (i know). so my prof went, got a bit of funding from the
 government, who were getting pissed at independent
 cucumber tree numbers, and THIS IS WHERE IT GETS INTO
 THE GOOD SHIT I STS
 he infitrates the tree trafficking organization. he buys a
 cucumber tree from an independent nursery, raises it for
 months, ensures he gets noticed by the traffickers, and then
 INFILTRATES it and convinces its leader to LET HIM JOIN
 he has to pay like a steep entrance fee, which he does (and it
 blows my mind that the government of my country paid
 money to illegal tree dealers), but then he is given full access
 to records and maps because they think he's one of them, not
 now this part blows my mind because the tree lords don't
 even have to try very hard to find cucumber trees because
 government agents MARK THE TREES AND DISTINCTLY
 TAG THEM SAYING THIS IS ENDANGERED DO NOT
 hangs out with the members so much that he figures out their
 hit spots". these are where the trees are relatively secluded
 and unguarded. (he writes all this shit and numbers down for
 BUT THATS NOT ENOUGH BECAUSE THE GOVT SAYS
 HES WASTING THEIR FUNDING IF HE DOESNT HAVE
 PROOF and they are willing to take LEGAL ACTION for
 misuse of funding (my prof doesn't have the money nore time
 nor power to take them to court, which would also blow his
 cover). so my prof literally STAKES OUT a copse of
 cucumber trees at a recognized wildlife reserve for. DAYS. he
 camps there, and watches the trees, is about to give up, he's
 going off an unreliable rumor from the traffickers that a
 harvester would be going there within the next week. finally,
 this guy comes and takes the cucumber tree seeds from the
 CLEARLY MARKED trees by the government, and my prof
 takes pictures (we are shown these pictures, most of us are
 speechless at this point). dozens of candid shots of a man my
 grandpa's age with a grocery store bag, garden shears, and a
 ladder, clipping away the illegal seeds and then going on his
 way
 so my prof has the proof, he's been undercover for months
 now at this point, he writes up his report, gives it to the
 government who is likeoh shit", helps them draft up a
 new LESS COMPLETELY FUCKING OBVious way of
 marking e
 wouldn't damage them further, etc.), and then never retuns to
 the tree traffickers. he'd given them a fake name, address,
 (so that way
 there was a full minute of stunned silence from us students
 at this point, during which he grew more and more nervous
 (again, he's a muffin) and all of us students are just like
 whoa. we asked him what happened to the remaining illegal
 cucumber trees & if he turned the tree dealers in to the
 government, and that is when he smiles a little bit and shows
 us the last few pictures. because here's the kicker... he never
 turned the smugglers in. he burned all the data he
 collected, defied the government pressuring him to turn them
 in, and the only reason he's not incarcerated is because his
 work is so prominent in certain circles now & universities love
 him, that there would be an uproar if he got arrested. he's like
 a fucking anti-hero and then he tells us (ill never forget, it's
 the most inspirational green-thumb thing in the world) "it may
 be illegal', but those who risk their liberty to-save the
 world- should never be reprimanded, no matter what
 we are all stunned. some of us are considering dendrology as
 a field we'd now be interested in pursuing. he clicks his slide
 one final time, before we leave our last lecture and, since he
 had an asthma attack (lil muffin) he didn't attend our exam, so
 and there, on the slides, the last picture? THERE HE IS. in his
 own backyard. with his equally lovely TA wife. both grinning
 GROWN. ILLEGAL. CUCUMBER
 TREE
 72,767
Tree espionage

Tree espionage

Community, Crush, and Dad: Kaitl @itzzkait For anyone who says that "love, simon isn't important" jade @loserichie in 2014 l came out to my mom as bisexual, & she told me she would never look at me the same, I cried in the bathroom for 6 hours & my entire family ignored me for days. I was called disgusting & my dad told me l'd "get over it eventually" my mom tried to force me to be straight 3/23/18, 12:54 AM jade @loserichie in 2016 I told my mom I had a crush on a girl, we cried in a parking lot & she told me she wasn't okay with it, I asked the girl out anyways. In 2017 I flew over 4000 miles to meet this girl as we celebrated being together for over a year, we had our first kiss: on a feeris wheel 3/23/18, 12:54 AM jade @loserichie It's 2018, tonight I saw love simon with my mom, after a 4 year journey of teaching her to love me for who l am, she grabbed my hand in the theatre while simon came out to his family, & mouthed "im sorry" to me with tears in her eyes because when I came out l never got acceptance 3/23/18, 12:54 AM jade @loserichie 3/23/18 when we were leaving the theatre she talked to me about my girlfriend proudly without caring that other people could hear us, something she would've never done even just a year ago 3 ,00 19.6K jade @loserichie 3/23/18 my mom had always been mad at me for not coming out sooner, she had been mad because I was different, but love simon gave her a glimpse on how hard it is to accept yourself as someone in the Igbt+ community, tonight my mom has accepted me more than she ever has 31,614 614 20.7K D 20.7K 2 daisythefan67: This made me cry
Community, Crush, and Dad: Kaitl
 @itzzkait
 For anyone who says that "love, simon
 isn't important"

 jade
 @loserichie
 in 2014 l came out to my mom as
 bisexual, & she told me she would
 never look at me the same, I cried in
 the bathroom for 6 hours & my entire
 family ignored me for days. I was
 called disgusting & my dad told me l'd
 "get over it eventually" my mom tried
 to force me to be straight
 3/23/18, 12:54 AM

 jade
 @loserichie
 in 2016 I told my mom I had a crush on
 a girl, we cried in a parking lot & she
 told me she wasn't okay with it, I asked
 the girl out anyways. In 2017 I flew
 over 4000 miles to meet this girl as
 we celebrated being together for over
 a year, we had our first kiss: on a feeris
 wheel
 3/23/18, 12:54 AM

 jade
 @loserichie
 It's 2018, tonight I saw love simon with
 my mom, after a 4 year journey of
 teaching her to love me for who l am,
 she grabbed my hand in the theatre
 while simon came out to his family, &
 mouthed "im sorry" to me with tears in
 her eyes because when I came out l
 never got acceptance
 3/23/18, 12:54 AM

 jade @loserichie 3/23/18
 when we were leaving the theatre she
 talked to me about my girlfriend proudly
 without caring that other people could
 hear us, something she would've never
 done even just a year ago
 3 ,00 19.6K
 jade @loserichie 3/23/18
 my mom had always been mad at me
 for not coming out sooner, she had
 been mad because I was different, but
 love simon gave her a glimpse on how
 hard it is to accept yourself as someone
 in the Igbt+ community, tonight my
 mom has accepted me more than she
 ever has
 31,614
 614 20.7K D
 20.7K
 2
daisythefan67:
This made me cry

daisythefan67: This made me cry

Apple, Beard, and Chill: So many split ends Fiom constantly ripping ont hairclips robablu doesn'+ pluck her bvows « definitely doesn ' shave leqs seems like she would use 914 pencil egeliner From Walmart ace always looks like she » jndging j°u wears move clashing layers than a quirky side kick in ^ Disne Channel stcom probably has best hgene f the grop. but has hair that makes him look like he thinks gl is a rivetiny sport these eves have seen death wth less than 2.0/20 vision eyebags for days because he never sleeps constantlu chewing leaves, don't tesl me he never has shit stucx in his teeth Swper prominent Adam's apple dedicated to the light ofhi life, Adam Parrish wears polo ShirAs and boat shoe s basically every day, nothing I sa can maXe that wovSe than alreadu is robabl cu+5 his own hair actnallyprematu wrinKlina in hih school due tO acute stress this kid is about 2 seconds away From Falling apar t, let's not kid ourselves, his under - eye Shadows are ney leve l Ronan had to dream him vp loton ble ake care of his skin ppery this train wreck can'+ moisturi2e or Shoulders slumped permanently rom weiant of world Pfominent veins bjc he hes no chil he has no chill makes an uncomfortable amount of eye contact geis inationaily angry and suweaty whenever he sees a handsome boy (when clid he last shower??) he can arow a beard over night the Stmbble stvuq^le is real e+ raven has clawed holes in very shir^ he oun s 1 actual rotting corpse - o3 Probably appreciates bodly gitter though so that's a pluS charactersoverkisses: squidwithelbows:I see all your pretty fancasts of The Raven Cycle, and I raise you this. Please imagine how sweaty and awkward these weirdass teenagers must actually be. okay but actually tho! I keep seeing so many pretty models and they never quite feel right to me because lets be real here, these are teenagers (we’re hella gross, whether you wanna admit it or not) who like climb around in mountains and are awake at all hours of the night (blue’s the only one who sleeps for more than 3 hours a night), and as a result they are soooo not going to be model gorgeous 20 somethings. I’m like 500% for actual teenagers in the TV show that are like 900% messes!! 
Apple, Beard, and Chill: So many split ends Fiom
 constantly ripping ont hairclips
 robablu doesn'+ pluck her bvows
 « definitely doesn ' shave leqs
 seems like she would use
 914 pencil egeliner From Walmart
 ace always looks like she » jndging j°u
 wears move clashing layers than
 a quirky side kick in ^ Disne
 Channel stcom

 probably has best hgene f the grop.
 but has hair that makes him look like
 he thinks gl is a rivetiny sport
 these eves have seen death wth
 less than 2.0/20 vision
 eyebags for days because he never sleeps
 constantlu chewing leaves, don't tesl
 me he never has shit stucx in his teeth
 Swper prominent Adam's apple
 dedicated to the light ofhi life, Adam Parrish
 wears polo ShirAs and boat shoe s
 basically every day, nothing I sa
 can maXe that wovSe than alreadu is

 robabl cu+5 his own hair
 actnallyprematu wrinKlina in
 hih school due tO acute stress
 this kid is about 2 seconds away From
 Falling apar t, let's not kid ourselves, his
 under - eye Shadows are ney leve l
 Ronan had to dream him vp loton ble
 ake care of his skin ppery
 this train wreck can'+ moisturi2e or
 Shoulders slumped permanently
 rom weiant of world

 Pfominent veins bjc he hes no chil
 he has no chill
 makes an uncomfortable amount
 of eye contact
 geis inationaily angry and suweaty
 whenever he sees a handsome boy
 (when clid he last shower??)
 he can arow a beard over night
 the Stmbble stvuq^le is real
 e+ raven has clawed holes
 in very shir^ he oun s
 1

 actual rotting corpse
 -
 o3
 Probably appreciates bodly gitter
 though so that's a pluS
charactersoverkisses:

squidwithelbows:I see all your pretty fancasts of The Raven Cycle, and I raise you this. Please imagine how sweaty and awkward these weirdass teenagers must actually be.
okay but actually tho! I keep seeing so many pretty models and they never quite feel right to me because lets be real here, these are teenagers (we’re hella gross, whether you wanna admit it or not) who like climb around in mountains and are awake at all hours of the night (blue’s the only one who sleeps for more than 3 hours a night), and as a result they are soooo not going to be model gorgeous 20 somethings. I’m like 500% for actual teenagers in the TV show that are like 900% messes!! 

charactersoverkisses: squidwithelbows:I see all your pretty fancasts of The Raven Cycle, and I raise you this. Please imagine how sweaty an...

Ass, Children, and Dogs: relishboi hey gave elastigirl the main role in incredibles 2 to make up for the fucked up shit they made her do in the first one airfierce kay first of all she is their MOTHER and she did NOTHING less than keeping her family SAFE airfierce okay first of all she is their MOTHER and she did NOTHING less than keeping her family SAFE lookin4something Yo what? She was a liscenced pilot who had enough connects and respect to get a fuckin in less than 24 hours, then saved her family nd humanity. Being thic is a biproduct of her kicking ass all day every day tell me I'm wrong midnight-revelation Helen Par was, undoubtedly, The Hero of The Incredibles. She single-handedly saved her two children from a plane explosion fter piloting the HELL out of a government jet. She then all but single-handedly saved her husband (Mirage beat her to it by milliseconds). And to top it off, she let herself be thrown at least 40 meters into the air to save her baby that was in free fall. Bob may have been out there kicking ass and looking good Incredible throughout that entire movie. It's like she said in the beginning of the movie doing it, but ElastiGirl was Mrs. Fucking at the top of my game! I'm right up there with the big dogs! Girls, come on! Leave the saving of the world to the men? I don't think so! I don't think so." midnight-revelation ALL WHILE her husband, Mr. Incredible, was running around, out for days at a time, being too In family (to be fair, he was getting paid serious credible to help his wife raise their ney for it and he just lost his job, so it was win-win for him). But, while he was trying to e a superhero again, she was at home, being a supermother to her chaotic superpowered children and a superwife to her suspicious a ing husband, even as evidence started piling up that painted Bob's recent actions in an un- flattering light. ElastiGirl had the main role in ct he Incredibles lII because it was exactly what she deserved. It was her time to run around and be Incredible while Bob raised the kids Source: relishboi elastigirl discourse
Ass, Children, and Dogs: relishboi
 hey gave elastigirl the main role in incredibles
 2 to make up for the fucked up shit they made
 her do in the first one
 airfierce
 kay first of all she is their MOTHER and she
 did NOTHING less than keeping her family
 SAFE
 airfierce
 okay first of all she is their MOTHER and she
 did NOTHING less than keeping her family
 SAFE
 lookin4something
 Yo what? She was a liscenced pilot who had
 enough connects and respect to get a fuckin
 in less than 24 hours, then saved her family
 nd humanity. Being thic is a biproduct of her
 kicking ass all day every day tell me I'm wrong
 midnight-revelation
 Helen Par was, undoubtedly, The Hero of
 The Incredibles. She single-handedly saved
 her two children from a plane explosion
 fter piloting the HELL out of a government
 jet. She then all but single-handedly saved
 her husband (Mirage beat her to it by
 milliseconds). And to top it off, she let herself
 be thrown at least 40 meters into the air to
 save her baby that was in free fall. Bob may
 have been out there kicking ass and looking
 good
 Incredible throughout that entire movie. It's
 like she said in the beginning of the movie
 doing it, but ElastiGirl was Mrs. Fucking
 at the top of my game! I'm right up there
 with the big dogs! Girls, come on! Leave the
 saving of the world to the men? I don't think
 so! I don't think so."
 midnight-revelation
 ALL WHILE her husband, Mr. Incredible, was
 running around, out for days at a time, being
 too In
 family (to be fair, he was getting paid serious
 credible to help his wife raise their
 ney for it and he just lost his job, so it was
 win-win for him). But, while he was trying to
 e a superhero again, she was at home, being
 a supermother to her chaotic superpowered
 children and a superwife to her suspicious a
 ing husband, even as evidence started piling
 up that painted Bob's recent actions in an un-
 flattering light. ElastiGirl had the main role in
 ct
 he Incredibles lII because it was exactly what
 she deserved. It was her time to run around
 and be Incredible while Bob raised the kids
 Source: relishboi
elastigirl discourse

elastigirl discourse