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Bad, Club, and Complex: The Chad German THe cHAD ICELANDIC iceLAnoic The Virgin English Wagner and Bach Strict noun-capitalization plus -isieren suffix ensures clear Sigur Rós and Björk Gilbert & "They should just learn English" "Wait, is that a noun or a verb?" Sullivan Became fluent in English effortlessly so that he could speak to tourists, but code- Understands and Gender agreement is mandatory for plurals and predicate adjectives, besting even German syntax embraces the The genitive is his last case, and he botches that by putting -'s on importance of learning foreign languages in a globalized world "Mädchen" is neuter. switches whenever he Thinks it's cool to be easy to prepositions Get used to it. doesn't want to be learn, sorta like joining a club that will make anyone a member Any word order is permissible, a poet's dream understood Overdependence on word-order makes poetry boring and/or nonsensical Flexible word order just follow V2 and you're good Proud member of tiny, Old "English" is incomprehensible gibberish to him now exclusive club No dialects, but feels Can actually read Old English more easily than English-speakers can Grammatical gender has Has 2 subjunctives, and he's not afraid to brotherly towards been reduced to the Brad Faroese Became a global language by stealing from India His modern grammar pronouns and boats use them is more conservative than the oldest forms Colonial empire was tiny and of Old English. Can read the Eddur Barely knows how to use the subjunctive Adopted Standard German when he realized his case short-lived, but he's studied all over the world anyway Middle voice for verbs Got cucked so hard by the grants an expressivity others can only marvel Normans that he's ashamed of system was in danger his own Germanic vocabulary at No empire, is spoken by just 300,000 people, and yet still attracts learners "Abstand," "Ausbau," "Dachsprache," "Sprachsraum," "Sprachbund".. he's literally the language of linguistics itself Constantly belittles Ebonics, except when he wants to pretend he Combines pride in his language with respect for regional dialects Pronouns don't have "Muh Shakespeare!" (Can't actually read his work) politeness forms, but everyone in his country is already on a first- name basis so it's not a has diverse dialects Cucked by nobody, has never been conquered Lost thou/you distinction, leading to bad manners & abominations like "y'all" Maintains the du/ihr/Sie distinction, promoting clarity and politeness Could have become the language of science, but kept using Latin because of inferiority complex vis-a-vis the Romance languages problem Took a few Latin loanwords like "Student," but this just helped the weak declension for nouns to survive Actively avoids Latin, didn't even know that French and Spanish are two different languages The Virgin English vs. the Chad German vs. the Thad Icelandic (updated for legibility by popular demand)
Bad, Club, and Complex: The Chad German
 THe cHAD ICELANDIC
 iceLAnoic
 The Virgin English
 Wagner and Bach
 Strict noun-capitalization plus
 -isieren suffix ensures clear
 Sigur Rós and Björk
 Gilbert &
 "They should just
 learn English"
 "Wait, is that a noun or a verb?"
 Sullivan
 Became fluent in English
 effortlessly so that he could
 speak to tourists, but code-
 Understands and
 Gender agreement is mandatory for
 plurals and predicate adjectives,
 besting even German
 syntax
 embraces the
 The genitive is his last case, and
 he botches that by putting -'s on
 importance of learning
 foreign languages in a
 globalized world
 "Mädchen" is neuter.
 switches whenever he
 Thinks it's cool to be easy to
 prepositions
 Get used to it.
 doesn't want to be
 learn, sorta like joining a club that
 will make anyone a member
 Any word order is
 permissible, a poet's dream
 understood
 Overdependence on
 word-order makes poetry
 boring and/or nonsensical
 Flexible word order
 just follow V2 and
 you're good
 Proud member of tiny,
 Old "English" is incomprehensible
 gibberish to him now
 exclusive club
 No dialects, but feels
 Can actually read Old
 English more easily than
 English-speakers can
 Grammatical gender has
 Has 2 subjunctives,
 and he's not afraid to
 brotherly towards
 been reduced to
 the Brad Faroese
 Became a global language by
 stealing from India
 His modern grammar
 pronouns and boats
 use them
 is more conservative
 than the oldest forms
 Colonial empire was tiny and
 of Old English. Can
 read the Eddur
 Barely knows how to
 use the subjunctive
 Adopted Standard German
 when he realized his case
 short-lived, but he's studied
 all over the world anyway
 Middle voice for verbs
 Got cucked so hard by the
 grants an expressivity
 others can only marvel
 Normans that he's ashamed of
 system was in danger
 his own Germanic vocabulary
 at
 No empire, is spoken by
 just 300,000 people, and
 yet still attracts learners
 "Abstand," "Ausbau,"
 "Dachsprache,"
 "Sprachsraum,"
 "Sprachbund".. he's
 literally the language of
 linguistics itself
 Constantly belittles
 Ebonics, except when
 he wants to pretend he
 Combines pride in his language
 with respect for regional dialects
 Pronouns don't have
 "Muh Shakespeare!" (Can't
 actually read his work)
 politeness forms, but
 everyone in his country
 is already on a first-
 name basis so it's not a
 has diverse dialects
 Cucked by nobody, has
 never been conquered
 Lost thou/you distinction,
 leading to bad manners &
 abominations like "y'all"
 Maintains the du/ihr/Sie distinction,
 promoting clarity and politeness
 Could have become the language of science,
 but kept using Latin because of inferiority
 complex vis-a-vis the Romance languages
 problem
 Took a few Latin loanwords like "Student," but this just
 helped the weak declension for nouns to survive
 Actively avoids Latin, didn't even know that
 French and Spanish are two different languages
The Virgin English vs. the Chad German vs. the Thad Icelandic (updated for legibility by popular demand)

The Virgin English vs. the Chad German vs. the Thad Icelandic (updated for legibility by popular demand)