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Being Alone, Crying, and Dude: thejorie: xilast-zurvifferman: thejorie: jackbecq: thejorie: 19leahjade96: thejorie: madamekagamine: thejorie: gccgrimm: thejorie: gucciballs: thejorie: peble: thejorie: My three girlfriends.And yes, they smoke weed. do they smoke weed? Yes, actually. you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette? It’s called a bunt…. Not weed cigarette… And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,) They don’t look like they smoke weed. Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.I’m so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I’m so mad. Your “weed smoking girlfriend” has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle. I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerp…. Don’t ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Don’t wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING  Well that escalated quickly…… What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they aren’t worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I’m yelling so loud and now I’m crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I can’t take anymore. I’m opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body* haha oh my god who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes. love how he keeps reminding us that “I HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDS”, “THEY ALL KISS ME”, and “THEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURR”. and let’s not forget the “Blaiz” and her “wicked tat”, or that he doesn’t “wanna see you standing outside [his] home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again”, and that this is “the FINAL FUCKING WARNING”. “the goo pile that is now your body” i’m dying over here, jesus please, Jory, come challenge me to a bout of internet witticsisms; i promise, it’ll be fun. *shoots you dead* Heh, idiot…*leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.* this dude playin omg  Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still  at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you.  I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my muscles and instead of walking it’s punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Blaiz…. Chas-Chas… Funk… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… *Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?! *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.*Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.*
Being Alone, Crying, and Dude: thejorie:

xilast-zurvifferman:

thejorie:

jackbecq:

thejorie:

19leahjade96:

thejorie:

madamekagamine:

thejorie:

gccgrimm:

thejorie:

gucciballs:

thejorie:

peble:

thejorie:

My three girlfriends.And yes, they smoke weed.

do they smoke weed?

Yes, actually.

you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette? 

It’s called a bunt…. Not weed cigarette… And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,)

They don’t look like they smoke weed.

Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.I’m so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I’m so mad.

Your “weed smoking girlfriend” has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle.

I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerp…. Don’t ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Don’t wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING 

Well that escalated quickly……

What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they aren’t worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I’m yelling so loud and now I’m crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I can’t take anymore. I’m opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body*

haha oh my god

who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes.

love how he keeps reminding us that “I HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDS”, “THEY ALL KISS ME”, and “THEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURR”.

and let’s not forget the “Blaiz” and her “wicked tat”, or that he doesn’t “wanna see you standing outside [his] home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again”, and that this is “the FINAL FUCKING WARNING”.

“the goo pile that is now your body”

i’m dying over here, jesus

please, Jory, come challenge me to a bout of internet witticsisms; i promise, it’ll be fun.

*shoots you dead* Heh, idiot…*leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.*

this dude playin omg 

Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still  at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you.  I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my muscles and instead of walking it’s punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Blaiz…. Chas-Chas… Funk… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… *Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?! *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.*Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.*

thejorie: xilast-zurvifferman: thejorie: jackbecq: thejorie: 19leahjade96: thejorie: madamekagamine: thejorie: gccgrimm: thejorie:...

Another One, Cats, and Run: What's a cool fact about the human body that a lot of people don't know? /r/AskReddit 5h alwaysclimbing5 self.AskReddit Selftext 348 (96%) 446 vault13rev 720 pts 5h (edit 4h) If we were an RPG character, our main stat would be endurance. We are, by animal standards, hellishly undying and unrelenting terrors, these Terminator-esque nightmares that just DO. NOT. STOP So ancestrally we are persistence hunters. That is, our main tactic for catching prey without fancy weapons was to just run them down, especially in our way-back home of the African desert. You can still see it, all over the human body. We are nearly hairless. This lack of insulation means better heat dissipation. We have a ton of sweat glands, next to other mammals. Again, heat dissipation. Another one is our two-legged gait - walking for us is technically just a series of controlled falls. We let gravity do half the work, and as a result use up fewer resources and generate less heat (quadrupeds, on the other hand, have to do more work with more legs). Imean, imagine being a more-or-less gazelle of half a million years ago. You're eating, doing your thing, when this predator arrives, so you run off. Now most predators, they'll only chase for a short distance and then call it a day (watch cats, for instance). But this one... here he is again. So you run. He returns. You run again. He returns. You're getting hot -you have to stop and pant to lose heat, but he just keeps jogging.. You run. He keeps coming. You're tired -you're fast, but not for very long, and this stretches your limits. Eventually you just lay there, exhausted and heat-stunned, and this ludicrous hairless monkey just jogs on over and kills you. That's our claws, our sharp teeth, even without our technology and tool-making. We simply don't stop.
Another One, Cats, and Run: What's a cool fact about the human body
 that a lot of people don't know?
 /r/AskReddit 5h
 alwaysclimbing5
 self.AskReddit
 Selftext
 348 (96%)
 446
 vault13rev 720 pts 5h (edit 4h)
 If we were an RPG character, our main stat would be
 endurance.
 We are, by animal standards, hellishly undying and unrelenting
 terrors, these Terminator-esque nightmares that just DO. NOT.
 STOP
 So ancestrally we are persistence hunters. That is, our main
 tactic for catching prey without fancy weapons was to just run
 them down, especially in our way-back home of the African
 desert. You can still see it, all over the human body.
 We are nearly hairless. This lack of insulation means better
 heat dissipation. We have a ton of sweat glands, next to
 other mammals. Again, heat dissipation. Another one is our
 two-legged gait - walking for us is technically just a series of
 controlled falls. We let gravity do half the work, and as a result
 use up fewer resources and generate less heat (quadrupeds,
 on the other hand, have to do more work with more legs).
 Imean, imagine being a more-or-less gazelle of half a million
 years ago. You're eating, doing your thing, when this predator
 arrives, so you run off. Now most predators, they'll only
 chase for a short distance and then call it a day (watch cats,
 for instance). But this one... here he is again. So you run. He
 returns. You run again. He returns. You're getting hot -you have
 to stop and pant to lose heat, but he just keeps jogging.. You
 run. He keeps coming. You're tired -you're fast, but not for very
 long, and this stretches your limits.
 Eventually you just lay there, exhausted and heat-stunned, and
 this ludicrous hairless monkey just jogs on over and kills you.
 That's our claws, our sharp teeth, even without our technology
 and tool-making. We simply don't stop.
Love, Tumblr, and Blog: baras: falls in love with a 3 minute one-off character 
nsfw
Love, Tumblr, and Blog: baras:

falls in love with a 3 minute one-off character 

baras: falls in love with a 3 minute one-off character 

Bodies , Definitely, and Family: Humans are adorable. Supporting evidence: 1. Humans say 'ow', even if they haven't actually been hurt. It's just a thing they say when they think they might have been hurt, but aren't sure yet. 2. Humans collect shiny things and decorate their bodies and nests with them. The shinier the better, although each individual has a unique taste for style and colouring 3. Humans are not an aquatic or even amphibious species, but they flock to bodies of water simply to play in it. They can't even hold their breath all that long; they just love to splash! 4. When night falls and the sky goes dark, humans become drowsy and begin to cocoon themselves in soft, fluffy bedding. 5. Some humans spend time in each other's nests! Just for fun! It's not their nest, they're just visiting each other. 6. Some humans use pigments and dyes to make their bodies flashy and colourful! They even attach shiny dangly bits to their cartalidgous membranes! 7. Humans are very clever, and sometimes adopt creatures from other species into their family units. They don't seem to notice the obvious differences, and often raise them alongside their own young! 8. If a human sees another creature in distress, they can commonly be observed trying to help! Even at their own risk, most humans are deeply compassionate creatures! 9. If a human hears a particularity catchy sound or tune, it will often mimic it, even to the point of annoying themselves! 10. Sneezes are entirely involuntary, and completely adorable. Especially when the human in question becomes frustrated 11. Humans love treats!!! Some more than others. Many humans will save these treats specifically for a later date when they are in need of comfort or reassurance. IE, pickles, pop tarts, Popsicles, etc 12. They're learning to travel in space!! They can't get very far, but they're trying!!! So far, they've made it to the end of their yard, and have found rocks Definitely not new, but every time this shows up I feel a little better
Bodies , Definitely, and Family: Humans are adorable.
 Supporting evidence:
 1. Humans say 'ow', even if they haven't actually been
 hurt. It's just a thing they say when they think they might
 have been hurt, but aren't sure yet.
 2. Humans collect shiny things and decorate their bodies
 and nests with them. The shinier the better, although
 each individual has a unique taste for style and colouring
 3. Humans are not an aquatic or even amphibious
 species, but they flock to bodies of water simply to play
 in it. They can't even hold their breath all that long; they
 just love to splash!
 4. When night falls and the sky goes dark, humans
 become drowsy and begin to cocoon themselves in soft,
 fluffy bedding.
 5. Some humans spend time in each other's nests! Just
 for fun! It's not their nest, they're just visiting each other.
 6. Some humans use pigments and dyes to make their
 bodies flashy and colourful! They even attach shiny
 dangly bits to their cartalidgous membranes!
 7. Humans are very clever, and sometimes adopt
 creatures from other species into their family units. They
 don't seem to notice the obvious differences, and often
 raise them alongside their own young!
 8. If a human sees another creature in distress, they can
 commonly be observed trying to help! Even at their own
 risk, most humans are
 deeply compassionate creatures!
 9. If a human hears a particularity catchy sound or tune, it
 will often mimic it, even to the point of annoying
 themselves!
 10. Sneezes are entirely involuntary, and completely
 adorable. Especially when the human in question
 becomes frustrated
 11. Humans love treats!!! Some more than others. Many
 humans will save these treats specifically for a later date
 when they are in need of comfort or reassurance. IE,
 pickles, pop tarts, Popsicles, etc
 12. They're learning to travel in space!! They can't get
 very far, but they're trying!!! So far, they've made it to the
 end of their yard, and have found rocks
Definitely not new, but every time this shows up I feel a little better

Definitely not new, but every time this shows up I feel a little better

Future, Journey, and Life: Captured from a PaytationM Pro imagesreguire a 4K display FRA demifiendrsa: Death Stranding – Release Date Reveal Trailer. The game will launch for Playstation 4 worldwide on November 8, 2019.Extended Japanese version  Message from Hideo Kojima Game editionsPre-order the Standard Edition for $59.99 USD MSRP/ $79.99 CAD MSRP and immediately get a voucher to download a Chibi Ludens PSN Avatar – a stylized version of the iconic logo for Kojima Productions – plus, a Death Stranding PS4 Dynamic Theme at launch.Pre-orders also receive special gold versions of in-game items earned through gameplay:Gold “Sam” SunglassesGold HatGold Speed Skeleton: Increase the speed of Sam’s movement when equippedGold Armor Plate: Increase protection against any damage Sam takesThe Special Edition ($69.99 USD MSRP/ $89.99 CAD MSRP) includes a collectible Steelbook case. Pre-order and receive all incentives offered through the Standard Edition. The Special Edition also includes –A special gold version of the Gold “Ludens Mask” Sunglasses earned through gameplay.As well as these digital bonuses:Music Album Digital DownloadBehind the Scenes Making Of Digital VideoPre-order the Digital Deluxe Edition for $79.99 USD / $99.99 CAD MSRP and receive all digital pre-order incentives offered via the Standard Edition. The Digital Deluxe also includes –Special gold versions of in-game items earned through gameplay:Gold “Ludens Mask” SunglassesGold Power Skeleton: Enhance Sam’s ability to handle heavy cargoGold All-Terrain Skeleton: Enhance Sam’s ability to balance himself on uneven terrainGold Armor Plate (Level 2): Stronger protection for Sam against falls, gunfire, and moreDeath Stranding Collector’s Edition ($199.99 USD MSRP / $249.99 CAD MSRP), which includes all Digital Deluxe Edition in-game items and bonus contents, the Special Edition Steelbook, plus:Life-sized BB Pod StatueBRIDGES Cargo CaseLudens KeychainScreenshotsOverviewAfter the collapse of civilization, Sam Bridges must journey across a ravaged landscape crawling with otherworldly threats to save mankind from the brink of extinction. From legendary game creator Hideo Kojima comes an all-new, genre-defying experience for the PlayStation 4 system.Starring Norman Reedus, Mads Mikkelsen, Léa Seydoux, and Lindsay Wagner.A Journey to Reconnect a Fractured SocietyIn the near future, mysterious explosions have rocked the planet, setting off a series of supernatural events known as the Death Stranding. With spectral creatures plaguing the landscape, and the planet on the verge of a mass extinction, it’s up to Sam Bridges to journey across the ravaged wasteland and save mankind from impending annihilation.
Future, Journey, and Life: Captured from a PaytationM Pro imagesreguire a 4K display
 FRA
demifiendrsa:



Death Stranding – Release Date Reveal Trailer. The game will launch for Playstation 4 worldwide on November 8, 2019.Extended Japanese version 

Message from Hideo Kojima

Game editionsPre-order the Standard Edition for $59.99 USD MSRP/ $79.99 CAD MSRP and immediately get a voucher to download a Chibi Ludens PSN Avatar – a stylized version of the iconic logo for Kojima Productions – plus, a Death Stranding PS4 Dynamic Theme at launch.Pre-orders also receive special gold versions of in-game items earned through gameplay:Gold “Sam” SunglassesGold HatGold Speed Skeleton: Increase the speed of Sam’s movement when equippedGold Armor Plate: Increase protection against any damage Sam takesThe Special Edition ($69.99 USD MSRP/ $89.99 CAD MSRP) includes a collectible Steelbook case. Pre-order and receive all incentives offered through the Standard Edition. The Special Edition also includes –A special gold version of the Gold “Ludens Mask” Sunglasses earned through gameplay.As well as these digital bonuses:Music Album Digital DownloadBehind the Scenes Making Of Digital VideoPre-order the Digital Deluxe Edition for $79.99 USD / $99.99 CAD MSRP and receive all digital pre-order incentives offered via the Standard Edition. The Digital Deluxe also includes –Special gold versions of in-game items earned through gameplay:Gold “Ludens Mask” SunglassesGold Power Skeleton: Enhance Sam’s ability to handle heavy cargoGold All-Terrain Skeleton: Enhance Sam’s ability to balance himself on uneven terrainGold Armor Plate (Level 2): Stronger protection for Sam against falls, gunfire, and moreDeath Stranding Collector’s Edition ($199.99 USD MSRP / $249.99 CAD MSRP), which includes all Digital Deluxe Edition in-game items and bonus contents, the Special Edition Steelbook, plus:Life-sized BB Pod StatueBRIDGES Cargo CaseLudens KeychainScreenshotsOverviewAfter the collapse of civilization, Sam Bridges must journey across a ravaged landscape crawling with otherworldly threats to save mankind from the brink of extinction. From legendary game creator Hideo Kojima comes an all-new, genre-defying experience for the PlayStation 4 system.Starring Norman Reedus, Mads Mikkelsen, Léa Seydoux, and Lindsay Wagner.A Journey to Reconnect a Fractured SocietyIn the near future, mysterious explosions have rocked the planet, setting off a series of supernatural events known as the Death Stranding. With spectral creatures plaguing the landscape, and the planet on the verge of a mass extinction, it’s up to Sam Bridges to journey across the ravaged wasteland and save mankind from impending annihilation.

demifiendrsa: Death Stranding – Release Date Reveal Trailer. The game will launch for Playstation 4 worldwide on November 8, 2019.Extende...