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Best Friend, Bless Up, and College: You can see the meaning of the universe in those two eyes. So my lil homegirl sent me a link to this coffee made by Dark Matter thatโ€™s called Unicorn Blood. Tried it. Not gon lie, delicious. But Unicorn Blood? Yโ€™all doin too much. U coffee roasters Bruv a lot of yโ€™all getting real comfortable selling good (but not life changing) coffee for $15.99 a bag and Iโ€™m thinking I might come for yโ€™all. Coffee is my thing and if I had the time and the roasting equipment, I could stomp yโ€™all out completely. And I know what Iโ€™d name my coffee blend, too: Mermaid Period. Yโ€™all think Unicorn Blood is rare? Yโ€™all ainโ€™t seen rare. First of all a Unicorn is just a horse with a horn. That sh!t low key basic. A good plastic surgeon could make one. If a plastic surgeon could make the Kardashians Black bruv? He could throw a horn on a horse nah thatโ€™s basic. Mermaids? Bruv thatโ€™s half woman half fish. Up top she a sexy, comely ginger with seashells on her Tetas. Waist down? All flipper. Whereโ€™s the Punani? Exactly. Even if a mermaid had a Punani (which she canโ€™t because issa flipper), would she even have a period? How? Do she wear faded, washed 7,000 times, soft-as-silk (๐Ÿ˜) Period panty granny panties over her flipper? Or do she just freeball it bleeding out her sweet, precious, mythical, menstrual magnificence into the ocean with reckless abandon so that if a random scuba diver named Aiden from Newport Beach with floopy blond hair is swimming by and perchance catches a glorious taste, his heart explodes with love and affection and his head pops off his body and his scuba diving companion William is at his funeral just like โ€œI know yโ€™all will never believe me because I used to drop acid when I attended college but my best friend died after inhaling Mermaid Period then his head popped off his body and a shark ate it good night ๐Ÿ˜ข.โ€ Bam. Straight like that. It will be beautifully rich, reddish in color, deliciously fragrant, and invigorating - just like regular Period (But Iโ€™ll call it Mermaid Period because yโ€™all love it when these beverage companies are extra ๐Ÿค—). Coming to your grocery aisle fall 2018. Starbucks, Peetโ€™s and Dark Matter - yโ€™all on notice. Bless up ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
Best Friend, Bless Up, and College: You can see the meaning
 of the universe in those
 two eyes.
So my lil homegirl sent me a link to this coffee made by Dark Matter thatโ€™s called Unicorn Blood. Tried it. Not gon lie, delicious. But Unicorn Blood? Yโ€™all doin too much. U coffee roasters Bruv a lot of yโ€™all getting real comfortable selling good (but not life changing) coffee for $15.99 a bag and Iโ€™m thinking I might come for yโ€™all. Coffee is my thing and if I had the time and the roasting equipment, I could stomp yโ€™all out completely. And I know what Iโ€™d name my coffee blend, too: Mermaid Period. Yโ€™all think Unicorn Blood is rare? Yโ€™all ainโ€™t seen rare. First of all a Unicorn is just a horse with a horn. That sh!t low key basic. A good plastic surgeon could make one. If a plastic surgeon could make the Kardashians Black bruv? He could throw a horn on a horse nah thatโ€™s basic. Mermaids? Bruv thatโ€™s half woman half fish. Up top she a sexy, comely ginger with seashells on her Tetas. Waist down? All flipper. Whereโ€™s the Punani? Exactly. Even if a mermaid had a Punani (which she canโ€™t because issa flipper), would she even have a period? How? Do she wear faded, washed 7,000 times, soft-as-silk (๐Ÿ˜) Period panty granny panties over her flipper? Or do she just freeball it bleeding out her sweet, precious, mythical, menstrual magnificence into the ocean with reckless abandon so that if a random scuba diver named Aiden from Newport Beach with floopy blond hair is swimming by and perchance catches a glorious taste, his heart explodes with love and affection and his head pops off his body and his scuba diving companion William is at his funeral just like โ€œI know yโ€™all will never believe me because I used to drop acid when I attended college but my best friend died after inhaling Mermaid Period then his head popped off his body and a shark ate it good night ๐Ÿ˜ข.โ€ Bam. Straight like that. It will be beautifully rich, reddish in color, deliciously fragrant, and invigorating - just like regular Period (But Iโ€™ll call it Mermaid Period because yโ€™all love it when these beverage companies are extra ๐Ÿค—). Coming to your grocery aisle fall 2018. Starbucks, Peetโ€™s and Dark Matter - yโ€™all on notice. Bless up ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

So my lil homegirl sent me a link to this coffee made by Dark Matter thatโ€™s called Unicorn Blood. Tried it. Not gon lie, delicious. But Unic...

Aww, Bless Up, and Emoji: r/aww u/ButZebrasCantSmell 18h i.redd.it This little guy followed me home and then fell asleep on my lap, so l guess I have a dog now @DrSmashlove See bruv itโ€™s two reactions u get from ladies when u laying pipe for the first time and bust a lil early. Type 1: she hear u moan and groan and let loose the juice and she just do this grin: ๐Ÿ˜Œ. Like โ€œitโ€™s ok baby I understand ๐Ÿ˜Œ this Nani feels like silk soaked in honey and coated in mango juice ๐Ÿ˜Œ I donโ€™t expect u to last more than a few strokes ๐Ÿ˜Œ itโ€™s the price of having A1 Nani ๐Ÿ˜Œ.โ€ Like thatโ€™s literally what this emoji was based off of - itโ€™s the โ€œitโ€™s ok my adorable Minute Man ๐Ÿ˜Œโ€ emoji ๐Ÿ˜‚. Now then, Type 2: she ainโ€™t playing bruv. Type 2 came here for some proper pipe and yo early arrival mean u just deprived her of the value of her investment. She ainโ€™t having it. U let out half a moan - not even a full moan and groan - just literally โ€œAHP-โ€œ and her eyes turn red. Her face morph into the face of a she-devil ๐Ÿ‘น. Horns emerge straight on her head top. And she always say the same thing: โ€œNOT...YET!!!! ๐Ÿ‘ฟโ€ and then she hit u with the Type 2 leg lock Bruv. She wrap her arms and legs around u like: โ€œYOU MINUTE MAN LOOKIN A$$ Iโ€™M NOT GON LET U PULL OUT IMMA HAVE YO BABY TO TEACH U A LESSON ABOUT BUSTING EARLY U THOUGHT SH!T WAS SWEET WELL LEMME TELL U HOW SWEET: EVERY TIME U LOOK IN THE FACE OF THIS BABY U GON REMEMBER THE TIME U THOUGHT IT WAS OK TO BUST AFTER A FEW STROKES - HELL NAW - NOW GIMME THIS WORK AND LET ME NAME THIS BABY WITHOUT CONSULTING U. โ€œZeenaโ€. ISSA GREEK NAME THAT MEANS โ€œstranger, guestโ€ WHICH IS APPROPRIATE BECAUSE IMMA HAVE FULL CUSTODY AND U GON SHOW UP WITH MY MONTHLY SUPPORT AS A GUEST IN A CRIB *YOU* PAYING FOR HOWBOWDAH ๐Ÿ‘ฟ.โ€ And u thinking โ€œnaw baby relax itโ€™s all good round 2 gon be amazing ๐Ÿ˜ฌโ€ and she just like โ€œsorry I had other plans after this, expect to get served with a DNA test in 9 months bless up.โ€ Type 2 ladies imma need yโ€™all to learn from yo Type 1 sisters. Embrace the fact that your Nani A1. Give him another chance. U ainโ€™t gotta go off and have his baby to teach him a lesson - let him cool his jets and give u the bidness one mo โ€˜gain. And if he bust early, cut him off forever. AND THEN DM ME IMMEEJALLY BECAUSE IT MEAN U GOT THAT UNICORN NANI AND WE SHOULD GET MARRIED AND HAVE CHIRREN BLESS UP ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
Aww, Bless Up, and Emoji: r/aww
 u/ButZebrasCantSmell 18h i.redd.it
 This little guy followed me home and
 then fell asleep on my lap, so l guess I
 have a dog now
 @DrSmashlove
See bruv itโ€™s two reactions u get from ladies when u laying pipe for the first time and bust a lil early. Type 1: she hear u moan and groan and let loose the juice and she just do this grin: ๐Ÿ˜Œ. Like โ€œitโ€™s ok baby I understand ๐Ÿ˜Œ this Nani feels like silk soaked in honey and coated in mango juice ๐Ÿ˜Œ I donโ€™t expect u to last more than a few strokes ๐Ÿ˜Œ itโ€™s the price of having A1 Nani ๐Ÿ˜Œ.โ€ Like thatโ€™s literally what this emoji was based off of - itโ€™s the โ€œitโ€™s ok my adorable Minute Man ๐Ÿ˜Œโ€ emoji ๐Ÿ˜‚. Now then, Type 2: she ainโ€™t playing bruv. Type 2 came here for some proper pipe and yo early arrival mean u just deprived her of the value of her investment. She ainโ€™t having it. U let out half a moan - not even a full moan and groan - just literally โ€œAHP-โ€œ and her eyes turn red. Her face morph into the face of a she-devil ๐Ÿ‘น. Horns emerge straight on her head top. And she always say the same thing: โ€œNOT...YET!!!! ๐Ÿ‘ฟโ€ and then she hit u with the Type 2 leg lock Bruv. She wrap her arms and legs around u like: โ€œYOU MINUTE MAN LOOKIN A$$ Iโ€™M NOT GON LET U PULL OUT IMMA HAVE YO BABY TO TEACH U A LESSON ABOUT BUSTING EARLY U THOUGHT SH!T WAS SWEET WELL LEMME TELL U HOW SWEET: EVERY TIME U LOOK IN THE FACE OF THIS BABY U GON REMEMBER THE TIME U THOUGHT IT WAS OK TO BUST AFTER A FEW STROKES - HELL NAW - NOW GIMME THIS WORK AND LET ME NAME THIS BABY WITHOUT CONSULTING U. โ€œZeenaโ€. ISSA GREEK NAME THAT MEANS โ€œstranger, guestโ€ WHICH IS APPROPRIATE BECAUSE IMMA HAVE FULL CUSTODY AND U GON SHOW UP WITH MY MONTHLY SUPPORT AS A GUEST IN A CRIB *YOU* PAYING FOR HOWBOWDAH ๐Ÿ‘ฟ.โ€ And u thinking โ€œnaw baby relax itโ€™s all good round 2 gon be amazing ๐Ÿ˜ฌโ€ and she just like โ€œsorry I had other plans after this, expect to get served with a DNA test in 9 months bless up.โ€ Type 2 ladies imma need yโ€™all to learn from yo Type 1 sisters. Embrace the fact that your Nani A1. Give him another chance. U ainโ€™t gotta go off and have his baby to teach him a lesson - let him cool his jets and give u the bidness one mo โ€˜gain. And if he bust early, cut him off forever. AND THEN DM ME IMMEEJALLY BECAUSE IT MEAN U GOT THAT UNICORN NANI AND WE SHOULD GET MARRIED AND HAVE CHIRREN BLESS UP ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

See bruv itโ€™s two reactions u get from ladies when u laying pipe for the first time and bust a lil early. Type 1: she hear u moan and groan ...