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Euphemism: lyrica-in-nerdvana: daysofstorm: pilgrim-soulinyou: jeremyyyallan: fagraklett: Chinese emperor Ai of Han, fell in love with a minor official, a man named Dong Xian, and bestowed upon him great political power and a magnificent palace. Legend has it that one day while the two men were sleeping in the same bed, the emperor was roused from his sleep by pressing business. Dong Xian had fallen asleep across the emperor’s robe, but rather than awaken his peaceful lover, the Emperor cut his robe free at the sleeve. Thus “the passion of the cut sleeve” became a euphemism for same-sex love in China. — R.G.L. get you a dude who will fuck up his own clothing for you NO OKAY THIS IS REALLY COOL SO SHUT UP AND LISTEN KIDS. Ancient China was super chill about homosexuality okay. Like we have gay emperors and feudal lords, lesbian princesses who were girlfriends with their serving maids, gay ass poets who wrote lots of poems about that one courtesan who played the guzheng so well.In fact homosexuality was so okay that in Shiji, which is basically the Bible of Ancient Chinese history, there is an entire section dedicated to the gay lovers of emperors. What’s the best part? All the laws and criticism about homosexuality in Ancient China were all about shit like prostitution and rape. These laws were  outlawing homosexual stuff were all very specific. For example, there were laws banning male prostitution, but no laws against homosexuality. These laws were passed to stop the spread of prostitution and laws targeting prostitution in general were pretty common in Chinese history. There were also really strict laws about male rape. Rape was punishable by death, regardless of the gender of the victim. Rape a girl, you die. Rape a guy, you die. Have sex with a minor, you die regardless of whether it was consensual. The lightest sentence you could get was slavery where you were bound to the army.Also scholars wrote essays criticising the boyfriends of emperors, saying that they distracted the emperor from work blah blah blah but THEY ALSO DID THE SAME FOR THE CONCUBINES. That’s right - the issue wasn’t homosexuality but rather the hormones of the emperor. They didn’t care about the gender of the emperor’s favourite lover but rather the fact that the emperor was too horny to get shit done.“But WAIT, Modern China is a hardass about homosexuality!!!! How do you explain that!”Yes. That. That’s because of the late Qing years where Western influences entered the country and brought their gross ass homophobic attitudes with them. And the Qing government was so anxious to seem modern and be seen as equals to their Western counterparts. So they adopted Western ways and discarded their previous attitudes about homosexuality. Hence you have Modern China.So the next time someone tries to tell you that being LGBT is wrong because it goes against traditional Chinese values, tell them to go fuck themselves with 3000 years of Chinese queerness.  Here are all the illustrations of historical gay couples by Ryan Grant https://www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/artist-spotlight/2012/08/11/ryan-grant-longs-history-gay-love#slide-0 This is one of the best things I have ever read.
Euphemism: lyrica-in-nerdvana:
daysofstorm:

pilgrim-soulinyou:

jeremyyyallan:

fagraklett:

Chinese emperor Ai of Han, fell in love with a minor official, a man named Dong Xian, and bestowed upon him great political power and a magnificent palace. Legend has it that one day while the two men were sleeping in the same bed, the emperor was roused from his sleep by pressing business. Dong Xian had fallen asleep across the emperor’s robe, but rather than awaken his peaceful lover, the Emperor cut his robe free at the sleeve. Thus “the passion of the cut sleeve” became a euphemism for same-sex love in China. — R.G.L.


get you a dude who will fuck up his own clothing for you

NO OKAY THIS IS REALLY COOL SO SHUT UP AND LISTEN KIDS. Ancient China was super chill about homosexuality okay. Like we have gay emperors and feudal lords, lesbian princesses who were girlfriends with their serving maids, gay ass poets who wrote lots of poems about that one courtesan who played the guzheng so well.In fact homosexuality was so okay that in Shiji, which is basically the Bible of Ancient Chinese history, there is an entire section dedicated to the gay lovers of emperors. What’s the best part? All the laws and criticism about homosexuality in Ancient China were all about shit like prostitution and rape. These laws were  outlawing homosexual stuff were all very specific. For example, there were laws banning male prostitution, but no laws against homosexuality. These laws were passed to stop the spread of prostitution and laws targeting prostitution in general were pretty common in Chinese history. There were also really strict laws about male rape. Rape was punishable by death, regardless of the gender of the victim. Rape a girl, you die. Rape a guy, you die. Have sex with a minor, you die regardless of whether it was consensual. The lightest sentence you could get was slavery where you were bound to the army.Also scholars wrote essays criticising the boyfriends of emperors, saying that they distracted the emperor from work blah blah blah but THEY ALSO DID THE SAME FOR THE CONCUBINES. That’s right - the issue wasn’t homosexuality but rather the hormones of the emperor. They didn’t care about the gender of the emperor’s favourite lover but rather the fact that the emperor was too horny to get shit done.“But WAIT, Modern China is a hardass about homosexuality!!!! How do you explain that!”Yes. That. That’s because of the late Qing years where Western influences entered the country and brought their gross ass homophobic attitudes with them. And the Qing government was so anxious to seem modern and be seen as equals to their Western counterparts. So they adopted Western ways and discarded their previous attitudes about homosexuality. Hence you have Modern China.So the next time someone tries to tell you that being LGBT is wrong because it goes against traditional Chinese values, tell them to go fuck themselves with 3000 years of Chinese queerness. 

Here are all the illustrations of historical gay couples by Ryan Grant https://www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/artist-spotlight/2012/08/11/ryan-grant-longs-history-gay-love#slide-0


This is one of the best things I have ever read.

lyrica-in-nerdvana: daysofstorm: pilgrim-soulinyou: jeremyyyallan: fagraklett: Chinese emperor Ai of Han, fell in love with a minor o...

Euphemism: The Elder Scrolls III The elder Scrolls MORROWINTD MORROWIND e9 Do not mm ORK Media company.The Elder Scrolls, Morrowind Bink Video, Copynight 1997-2001 by RAD Game of the Year Edition mvention of copy pro strictly prohibited.Confide SAFETY INFORMATION TABLE OF CONTENTS Introduction Main Menu Gameplay Controls The Game Screen Stats Menu Inventory Menu Magic Menu Map Menu Races Attributes Derived Attributes Combat Arts ABOUT PHOTOSENSITIVE SEIZURES A very small percentage of people may visual images, including flashing lights or patterns that may appear Even people who have no history of seizures or epilepsy may have a condition that can cause these photosensitve epileptic seizures while watching video experience a seizure when exposed to certain in video games. n undiagnosed These seizures may have a variety of symptoms including: lightheadedness vision, eye or face twitching, jerking or shaking of arms or legs, disorientation entation confusion, or momentary loss of awareness. Seizures may also cause loss of consciousness or convulsions that can lead to injury from falling down or strikina nearby objects. 16 mmediately stop playing and consult a doctor if you experience any of these symptoms Parents should watch for or ask their children about hildren and teenagers are more likely than adults to experience these seizures. The the above symptoms. 19 Stealth Arts of photosensitive epileptic seizures may be reduced by sitting farther from the using a smaller television screen, playing in a well-lit room, and not Combat Classes Magic Classes Stealth Classes en you are drowsy or fatigued of your relatives have a history of seizures or epilepsy, consult a doctor Increasing Your Skills and Leveling Up Weapons R IMPORTANT HEALTH AND SAFETY INFORMATION 28 29 30 .30 30 ox Instruction Manual contains important safety and health information that Using Weapons, Repairing Weapons & Armor u should read and understand before using this software School of Conjuration VOID DAMAGE TO YOUR TELEVISION School of Illusion School of Destruction not use with certain televisions. Some televisions, especially front- or rear-projection pes, can be damaged if any video games, including Xbox games, are played on them. tatic images presented during the normal course of game play may burn in to the creen, causing a permanent shadow of the static image to appear at all times, even when video games are not being played. Similar damage may occur from static images eated when placing a video game on hold or pause. Consult your television owner's nanual to determine if video games can be safely played safely on your set. If you are unable to find this information in the owner's manual, contact your television dealer or School of Restoration School of Mysticism School of Alteration Abilities, Powers, Diseases, Spells. 34 35 36 Magic Items, Magic Scrolls Spellmaking Enchanting 39 the manufacturer to determine if video games can be played safely on your set. I Unauthorized copying, reverse engineering, transmission, public performance, rental, Potions, Alchemy Stealth pay for play, or circumvention of copy protection is strictly prohibited 42 Books, Journal. Containers, Resting and Waiting, Fast Travel, Crime and Jail. Loading and Saving Preferences Credits .46 The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind The Elder ScI: Morrowind CREATING YOUR CHARACTER When you first start, you mu entered in your Name, you'l be asked to select a Race, Class, and Bithsign ist decide what kind of player you will be. After you've DARK ELF In the Empire, "Dark Elf is the common usage, but in their Morrowind homeland, they call themselves the "Dunmer." The dark-skinned, red-eyed Dunmer combine powerful intellect with strong and agile physiques, producing superior warriors and sorcerers. On the battlefield, Dark Elves are noted for their skilled and balanced integration of swordsmen, marksmen, and war wizards. RACES You may choose from 10 races commonly encountered in MORROWIND. Since each race has unique abilities, selecting your race is one of the most important decisions vou'll make. ARGONIAN Little is known and less is understood about the reptilian denizens of Black Marsh. Years of defending their borders have made the Argonians experts in guerilla warfare, and their Skill Bonuses: Long Blade +5, Destruction +10, Light Armor +5, Athletics +5, Mysticism +5, Marksman +5, Short Blade +10 Specials: Ancestor Guardian, Resistant to Fire natural abilities make them equally at home in water and on land. They are well suited for the treacherous swamps of their homeland, and have developed natural immunities to the diseases and poisons that have doomed many would-be explorers of the region. HIGH ELF The High Elves, or Altmer, are the proud, tall, golden- skinned peoples of Summerset Isle. The common tongue of the Empire, Tamrielic, is based on their speech and writing, and most of the Empire's arts, crafts, and sciences are derived from High Elven traditions. Deft, intelligent, and strong-willed, High Elves are often gifted in the arcane arts, and are far more resistant to disease than the lesser races. Skill Bonuses: Alchemy +5, Athletics +15,Illusion +5, Medium Armor +5, Mysticism +5 Spear +5, Unarmored+5 Specials: Resist Disease, Immune to Poison, Water Breathing Skill: Destruction +10, Enchant +10, Alchemy +10, Alteration +5, Conjuration +5,Illusion +5 Specials: Fortified Maximum Magicka, Weakness to Magicka, Fire, Frost, and Shock, Resistant to Disease BRETON Bretons feel an inborn, instinctive bond with the mercurial forces of magic and the supernatural. Many great sorcerers have IMPERIAL Natives of the civilized, cosmopolitan province of Cyrodiil, the Imperials are well-educated and well- spoken. Though physically less imposing than the other races, the Imperials have proved to be shrewd diplomats and traders. These traits, along with their remarkable skill and training as light infantry, have enabled them to subdue all the other provinces and to have erected the monument to peace and prosperity that comprises the Glorious Empire. from the home province of High Rock, and in addition to their quick and perceptive grasp of spellcraft, enchantment, and alchemy, even the humblest of Bretons boast a high resistance to destructive and dominating magical energies. Skill Bonuses: Conjuration +10, Mysticism +10, Restoration +10, Alchemy +5, Alteration +5 Illusion +5 pecials: Fortified Maximum Magicka, Dragon Skin, Resist Magicka SKILL BONUSES: Speechcraft+10, Mercantile+10, Long Blade +10, Blunt Weapon +S, Light Armor +5, Hand to Hand +5 SPECIALS: Star of the West, Voice of the Emperor The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind 13 The Elder crlsIII: Morowind BIRTHSIGNS In Tamriel, persons born under certain constellations are said to be fortunate in their aspects', Such persons are often blessed-or cursed- with remarkable abilities or weaknesses as a result of the magical conjunctions of celestíal influences. STEALTH SPECIALIZED CLASSES THIEVES Thieves are pickpockets and pilferers. Unlike robbers, who kill and loot, thieves typically choose stealth and subterfuge over violence, and often entertain romantic notions of their charm and in their acquisitive activities cleverness THE APPRENTICE Those bom under the sign of The Apprentice have increased Magicka, but also have a weakness to it. AGENTS atives skilled in deception and avoidance, but dasTHE ATRONACH trained in self-defense and the use of deadly force. Self-reliant and independent, agents devote themselves to personal goals, or to various patrons or causes. Those born under the sign of The Atronach cannot regenerate Magicka, but have a chance of absorbing any magic cast at them. THE LADY Those born under the sign of The Lady have increased Endurande and Personality. ASSASSINS Assassins are killers who rely on stealth and mobility to approach victims undetected. Execution is performed with ranged weapons or with short blades for close work. Assassins can be ruthless murderers or principled agents of noble causes. THE LORD Those born under the sign of The Lord can regenerate Health, but are weak to fire THE LOVER Those born under the sign of The Lover have increased Agility and can paralyze others with a kiss. ACROBATS Acrobať' is a polite euphemism for agile burglars and second-story men, These thieves avoid detection by stealth, and rely on mobility and cunning to avoid capture. THE MAGE Those born under the sign of The Mage have increased Magicka. MONKS Monks are students of the ancient martial arts of hand-to-hand combat and unarmored self-defense. Monks avoid detection by stealth, mobility, and agility, and are skilled with a variety of ranged and close-combat weapons. THE RITUAL Those born under the sign of The Ritual can heal themselves and turn undead. THE SERPENT Those born under the sign of The Serpent can poison others at a loss of PILGRIMS Pilgrims are travelers, seekers of truth and enlightenment. They fortify themselves for road and wilderness with arms, armor, and magic, and through wide experience of the world, they become shrewd in commerce and persuasion their own Health. THE SHADOW Those born under the sign of The Shadow can make themselves invisible. THE STEED Those born under the sign of The Steed can move faster BARDS Bards are loremasters and storytellers. They crave adventure for the wisdom and insight to be gained, and must depend on sword shield, spell, and enchantment to preserve them from the perils of their educational experiences THE THIEF Those born under the sign of The Thief are harder to hit. THE TOWER detect things at a distance. Those born under the sign of The Warrior have an increased chance Those born under the sign of The Tower can unlock doors magically and THE WARRIOR 25 I miss the days when games came with manuals
Euphemism: The Elder Scrolls III
 The elder Scrolls
 MORROWINTD
 MORROWIND
 e9
 Do not mm
 ORK
 Media company.The Elder Scrolls, Morrowind
 Bink Video, Copynight 1997-2001 by RAD
 Game of the Year Edition
 mvention of copy pro
 strictly prohibited.Confide

 SAFETY INFORMATION
 TABLE OF CONTENTS
 Introduction
 Main Menu
 Gameplay Controls
 The Game Screen
 Stats Menu
 Inventory Menu
 Magic Menu
 Map Menu
 Races
 Attributes
 Derived Attributes
 Combat Arts
 ABOUT PHOTOSENSITIVE SEIZURES
 A very small percentage of people may
 visual images, including flashing lights or patterns that may appear
 Even people who have no history of seizures or epilepsy may have a
 condition that can cause these photosensitve epileptic seizures while watching video
 experience a seizure when exposed to certain
 in video games.
 n undiagnosed
 These seizures may have a variety of symptoms including: lightheadedness
 vision, eye or face twitching, jerking or shaking of arms or legs, disorientation
 entation
 confusion, or momentary loss of awareness. Seizures may also cause loss of
 consciousness or convulsions that can lead to injury from falling down or strikina
 nearby objects.
 16
 mmediately stop playing and consult a doctor if you experience any of these
 symptoms Parents should watch for or ask their children about
 hildren and teenagers are more likely than adults to experience these seizures. The
 the above symptoms.
 19
 Stealth Arts
 of photosensitive epileptic seizures may be reduced by sitting farther from the
 using a smaller television screen, playing in a well-lit room, and not
 Combat Classes
 Magic Classes
 Stealth Classes
 en you are drowsy or fatigued
 of your relatives have a history of seizures or epilepsy, consult a doctor
 Increasing Your Skills and Leveling Up
 Weapons
 R IMPORTANT HEALTH AND SAFETY INFORMATION
 28
 29
 30
 .30
 30
 ox Instruction Manual contains important safety and health information that
 Using Weapons, Repairing Weapons & Armor
 u should read and understand before using this software
 School of Conjuration
 VOID DAMAGE TO YOUR TELEVISION
 School of Illusion
 School of Destruction
 not use with certain televisions. Some televisions, especially front- or rear-projection
 pes, can be damaged if any video games, including Xbox games, are played on them.
 tatic images presented during the normal course of game play may burn in to the
 creen, causing a permanent shadow of the static image to appear at all times, even
 when video games are not being played. Similar damage may occur from static images
 eated when placing a video game on hold or pause. Consult your television owner's
 nanual to determine if video games can be safely played safely on your set. If you are
 unable to find this information in the owner's manual, contact your television dealer or
 School of Restoration
 School of Mysticism
 School of Alteration
 Abilities, Powers, Diseases, Spells.
 34
 35
 36
 Magic Items, Magic Scrolls
 Spellmaking
 Enchanting
 39
 the manufacturer to determine if video games can be played safely on your set.
 I Unauthorized copying, reverse engineering, transmission, public performance, rental,
 Potions, Alchemy
 Stealth
 pay for play, or circumvention of copy protection is strictly prohibited
 42
 Books, Journal.
 Containers, Resting and Waiting, Fast Travel, Crime and Jail.
 Loading and Saving
 Preferences
 Credits
 .46
 The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind
 The Elder ScI: Morrowind

 CREATING YOUR CHARACTER
 When you first start, you mu
 entered in your Name, you'l be asked to select a Race, Class, and Bithsign
 ist decide what kind of player you will be. After you've
 DARK ELF
 In the Empire, "Dark Elf is the common
 usage, but in their Morrowind homeland,
 they call themselves the "Dunmer." The
 dark-skinned, red-eyed Dunmer combine
 powerful intellect with strong and agile
 physiques, producing superior warriors and
 sorcerers. On the battlefield, Dark Elves are
 noted for their skilled and balanced
 integration of swordsmen, marksmen, and
 war wizards.
 RACES
 You may choose from 10 races commonly encountered in MORROWIND. Since each
 race has unique abilities, selecting your race is one of the most important decisions
 vou'll make.
 ARGONIAN
 Little is known and less is understood about the
 reptilian denizens of Black Marsh. Years of
 defending their borders have made the
 Argonians experts in guerilla warfare, and their
 Skill Bonuses: Long Blade +5, Destruction +10, Light Armor +5, Athletics +5, Mysticism +5,
 Marksman +5, Short Blade +10
 Specials: Ancestor Guardian, Resistant to Fire
 natural abilities make them equally at home in
 water and on land. They are well suited for the
 treacherous swamps of their homeland, and
 have developed natural immunities to the
 diseases and poisons that have doomed many
 would-be explorers of the region.
 HIGH ELF
 The High Elves, or Altmer, are the proud, tall, golden-
 skinned peoples of Summerset Isle. The common
 tongue of the Empire, Tamrielic, is based on their
 speech and writing, and most of the Empire's arts,
 crafts, and sciences are derived from High Elven
 traditions. Deft, intelligent, and strong-willed, High
 Elves are often gifted in the arcane arts, and are far
 more resistant to disease than the lesser races.
 Skill Bonuses: Alchemy +5, Athletics +15,Illusion +5, Medium Armor +5, Mysticism +5
 Spear +5, Unarmored+5
 Specials: Resist Disease, Immune to Poison, Water Breathing
 Skill: Destruction +10, Enchant +10, Alchemy +10, Alteration +5, Conjuration +5,Illusion +5
 Specials: Fortified Maximum Magicka, Weakness to Magicka, Fire, Frost, and Shock,
 Resistant to Disease
 BRETON
 Bretons feel an inborn, instinctive bond
 with the mercurial forces of magic and the
 supernatural. Many great sorcerers have
 IMPERIAL
 Natives of the civilized, cosmopolitan province of
 Cyrodiil, the Imperials are well-educated and well-
 spoken. Though physically less imposing than the
 other races, the Imperials have proved to be shrewd
 diplomats and traders. These traits, along with their
 remarkable skill and training as light infantry, have
 enabled them to subdue all the other provinces and
 to have erected the monument to peace and
 prosperity that comprises the Glorious Empire.
 from the home province of High
 Rock, and in addition to their quick and
 perceptive grasp of spellcraft, enchantment,
 and alchemy, even the humblest of Bretons
 boast a high resistance to destructive and
 dominating magical energies.
 Skill Bonuses: Conjuration +10, Mysticism +10, Restoration +10, Alchemy +5, Alteration +5
 Illusion +5
 pecials: Fortified Maximum Magicka, Dragon Skin, Resist Magicka
 SKILL BONUSES: Speechcraft+10, Mercantile+10, Long Blade +10, Blunt Weapon +S,
 Light Armor +5, Hand to Hand +5
 SPECIALS: Star of the West, Voice of the Emperor
 The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind
 13
 The Elder crlsIII: Morowind

 BIRTHSIGNS
 In Tamriel, persons born under certain constellations are said to be fortunate in their
 aspects', Such persons are often blessed-or cursed- with remarkable abilities or
 weaknesses as a result of the magical conjunctions of celestíal influences.
 STEALTH SPECIALIZED CLASSES
 THIEVES
 Thieves are pickpockets and pilferers. Unlike robbers, who kill and
 loot, thieves typically choose stealth and subterfuge over violence,
 and often entertain romantic notions of their charm and
 in their acquisitive activities
 cleverness
 THE APPRENTICE
 Those bom under the sign of The Apprentice have increased Magicka, but
 also have a weakness to it.
 AGENTS
 atives skilled in deception and avoidance, but
 dasTHE ATRONACH
 trained in self-defense and the use of deadly force. Self-reliant and
 independent, agents devote themselves to personal goals, or to
 various patrons or causes.
 Those born under the sign of The Atronach cannot regenerate Magicka, but
 have a chance of absorbing any magic cast at them.
 THE LADY
 Those born under the sign of The Lady have increased Endurande
 and Personality.
 ASSASSINS
 Assassins are killers who rely on stealth and mobility to approach
 victims undetected. Execution is performed with ranged weapons
 or with short blades for close work. Assassins can be ruthless
 murderers or principled agents of noble causes.
 THE LORD
 Those born under the sign of The Lord can regenerate Health, but are weak
 to fire
 THE LOVER
 Those born under the sign of The Lover have increased Agility and can
 paralyze others with a kiss.
 ACROBATS
 Acrobať' is a polite euphemism for agile burglars and second-story
 men, These thieves avoid detection by stealth, and rely on mobility
 and cunning to avoid capture.
 THE MAGE
 Those born under the sign of The Mage have increased Magicka.
 MONKS
 Monks are students of the ancient martial arts of hand-to-hand
 combat and unarmored self-defense. Monks avoid detection by
 stealth, mobility, and agility, and are skilled with a variety of
 ranged and close-combat weapons.
 THE RITUAL
 Those born under the sign of The Ritual can heal themselves and
 turn undead.
 THE SERPENT
 Those born under the sign of The Serpent can poison others at a loss of
 PILGRIMS
 Pilgrims are travelers, seekers of truth and enlightenment. They
 fortify themselves for road and wilderness with arms, armor, and
 magic, and through wide experience of the world, they become
 shrewd in commerce and persuasion
 their own Health.
 THE SHADOW
 Those born under the sign of The Shadow can make themselves invisible.
 THE STEED
 Those born under the sign of The Steed can move faster
 BARDS
 Bards are loremasters and storytellers. They crave adventure for the
 wisdom and insight to be gained, and must depend on sword
 shield, spell, and enchantment to preserve them from the perils of
 their educational experiences
 THE THIEF
 Those born under the sign of The Thief are harder to hit.
 THE TOWER
 detect things at a distance.
 Those born under the sign of The Warrior have an increased chance
 Those born under the sign of The Tower can unlock doors magically and
 THE WARRIOR
 25
I miss the days when games came with manuals

I miss the days when games came with manuals

Euphemism: white dude in this horror movie translates old arabic text somehow it rhymes perfectly in english Now I really wanna see a horrible faltering translation from one of these movies, like "Whomsoever enters this room, they shall.. well, this word is like.. literally it means unbecome, but it was used as a euphemism for death, pooping, and-wait, when was this carved? was it 15th century? Cuz it was a euphemism for sex too in the 15th century. This is either a cursed crypt, a bathroom, or a royal bedroom. Who wants to roll the dice?" You guys, I've gotta be honest, okay? This thing's written in some kind of weird localized dialect, and I've only ever studied the standard form of the language. I mean, this part right here..I can't even tell if it's some kind of error, or an obscure slang phrase whatever it is, I have no idea what the fuck it means." this is written in ancient sumerian. it's about... uh. well that word is.. uh. okay this is either a poem about farming, or straight-up a nasty sex guide. it might be both. i want a shower. okay see the thing is in one dialect this word is the name of a terrifying Demon but in a completely different language from the same area that has the same writing system and gave a lot of loan words to the first, it means horse and the context is really not helping" "You know what? This thing is bound in human skin and the walls are bleeding let's just leave. The sacred texts said that there’d be chickens here, but all I can see are ducks
Euphemism: white dude in this horror movie translates old arabic text
 somehow it rhymes perfectly in english
 Now I really wanna see a horrible faltering translation from one
 of these movies, like "Whomsoever enters this room, they
 shall.. well, this word is like.. literally it means unbecome, but
 it was used as a euphemism for death, pooping, and-wait,
 when was this carved? was it 15th century? Cuz it was a
 euphemism for sex too in the 15th century. This is either a
 cursed crypt, a bathroom, or a royal bedroom. Who wants to
 roll the dice?"
 You guys, I've gotta be honest, okay? This thing's written in some
 kind of weird localized dialect, and I've only ever studied the
 standard form of the language. I mean, this part right here..I can't
 even tell if it's some kind of error, or an obscure slang phrase
 whatever it is, I have no idea what the fuck it means."
 this is written in ancient sumerian. it's about... uh. well that word
 is.. uh. okay this is either a poem about farming, or straight-up a
 nasty sex guide. it might be both. i want a shower.
 okay see the thing is in one dialect this word is the name of a terrifying
 Demon but in a completely different language from the same area that
 has the same writing system and gave a lot of loan words to the first, it
 means horse
 and the context is really not helping"
 "You know what? This thing is bound in human skin and the walls are
 bleeding let's just leave.
The sacred texts said that there’d be chickens here, but all I can see are ducks

The sacred texts said that there’d be chickens here, but all I can see are ducks

Euphemism: spring-day6: lyrica-in-nerdvana: daysofstorm: pilgrim-soulinyou: jeremyyyallan: fagraklett: Chinese emperor Ai of Han, fell in love with a minor official, a man named Dong Xian, and bestowed upon him great political power and a magnificent palace. Legend has it that one day while the two men were sleeping in the same bed, the emperor was roused from his sleep by pressing business. Dong Xian had fallen asleep across the emperor’s robe, but rather than awaken his peaceful lover, the Emperor cut his robe free at the sleeve. Thus “the passion of the cut sleeve” became a euphemism for same-sex love in China. — R.G.L. get you a dude who will fuck up his own clothing for you NO OKAY THIS IS REALLY COOL SO SHUT UP AND LISTEN KIDS. Ancient China was super chill about homosexuality okay. Like we have gay emperors and feudal lords, lesbian princesses who were girlfriends with their serving maids, gay ass poets who wrote lots of poems about that one courtesan who played the guzheng so well.In fact homosexuality was so okay that in Shiji, which is basically the Bible of Ancient Chinese history, there is an entire section dedicated to the gay lovers of emperors. What’s the best part? All the laws and criticism about homosexuality in Ancient China were all about shit like prostitution and rape. These laws were  outlawing homosexual stuff were all very specific. For example, there were laws banning male prostitution, but no laws against homosexuality. These laws were passed to stop the spread of prostitution and laws targeting prostitution in general were pretty common in Chinese history. There were also really strict laws about male rape. Rape was punishable by death, regardless of the gender of the victim. Rape a girl, you die. Rape a guy, you die. Have sex with a minor, you die regardless of whether it was consensual. The lightest sentence you could get was slavery where you were bound to the army.Also scholars wrote essays criticising the boyfriends of emperors, saying that they distracted the emperor from work blah blah blah but THEY ALSO DID THE SAME FOR THE CONCUBINES. That’s right - the issue wasn’t homosexuality but rather the hormones of the emperor. They didn’t care about the gender of the emperor’s favourite lover but rather the fact that the emperor was too horny to get shit done.“But WAIT, Modern China is a hardass about homosexuality!!!! How do you explain that!”Yes. That. That’s because of the late Qing years where Western influences entered the country and brought their gross ass homophobic attitudes with them. And the Qing government was so anxious to seem modern and be seen as equals to their Western counterparts. So they adopted Western ways and discarded their previous attitudes about homosexuality. Hence you have Modern China.So the next time someone tries to tell you that being LGBT is wrong because it goes against traditional Chinese values, tell them to go fuck themselves with 3000 years of Chinese queerness.  Here are all the illustrations of historical gay couples by Ryan Grant https://www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/artist-spotlight/2012/08/11/ryan-grant-longs-history-gay-love#slide-0 This is one of the best things I have ever read. @dn-a @lesbianblossomjimin @flowerboyjjk @jinglehoonie @blushingkunoichi @connie-the-marshmellow @confessionsofashyfangirl @delicatelykeenbouquet @fooderaser
Euphemism: spring-day6:

lyrica-in-nerdvana:

daysofstorm:

pilgrim-soulinyou:

jeremyyyallan:

fagraklett:

Chinese emperor Ai of Han, fell in love with a minor official, a man named Dong Xian, and bestowed upon him great political power and a magnificent palace. Legend has it that one day while the two men were sleeping in the same bed, the emperor was roused from his sleep by pressing business. Dong Xian had fallen asleep across the emperor’s robe, but rather than awaken his peaceful lover, the Emperor cut his robe free at the sleeve. Thus “the passion of the cut sleeve” became a euphemism for same-sex love in China. — R.G.L.


get you a dude who will fuck up his own clothing for you

NO OKAY THIS IS REALLY COOL SO SHUT UP AND LISTEN KIDS. Ancient China was super chill about homosexuality okay. Like we have gay emperors and feudal lords, lesbian princesses who were girlfriends with their serving maids, gay ass poets who wrote lots of poems about that one courtesan who played the guzheng so well.In fact homosexuality was so okay that in Shiji, which is basically the Bible of Ancient Chinese history, there is an entire section dedicated to the gay lovers of emperors. What’s the best part? All the laws and criticism about homosexuality in Ancient China were all about shit like prostitution and rape. These laws were  outlawing homosexual stuff were all very specific. For example, there were laws banning male prostitution, but no laws against homosexuality. These laws were passed to stop the spread of prostitution and laws targeting prostitution in general were pretty common in Chinese history. There were also really strict laws about male rape. Rape was punishable by death, regardless of the gender of the victim. Rape a girl, you die. Rape a guy, you die. Have sex with a minor, you die regardless of whether it was consensual. The lightest sentence you could get was slavery where you were bound to the army.Also scholars wrote essays criticising the boyfriends of emperors, saying that they distracted the emperor from work blah blah blah but THEY ALSO DID THE SAME FOR THE CONCUBINES. That’s right - the issue wasn’t homosexuality but rather the hormones of the emperor. They didn’t care about the gender of the emperor’s favourite lover but rather the fact that the emperor was too horny to get shit done.“But WAIT, Modern China is a hardass about homosexuality!!!! How do you explain that!”Yes. That. That’s because of the late Qing years where Western influences entered the country and brought their gross ass homophobic attitudes with them. And the Qing government was so anxious to seem modern and be seen as equals to their Western counterparts. So they adopted Western ways and discarded their previous attitudes about homosexuality. Hence you have Modern China.So the next time someone tries to tell you that being LGBT is wrong because it goes against traditional Chinese values, tell them to go fuck themselves with 3000 years of Chinese queerness. 

Here are all the illustrations of historical gay couples by Ryan Grant https://www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/artist-spotlight/2012/08/11/ryan-grant-longs-history-gay-love#slide-0


This is one of the best things I have ever read.


@dn-a @lesbianblossomjimin @flowerboyjjk @jinglehoonie @blushingkunoichi @connie-the-marshmellow @confessionsofashyfangirl @delicatelykeenbouquet @fooderaser

spring-day6: lyrica-in-nerdvana: daysofstorm: pilgrim-soulinyou: jeremyyyallan: fagraklett: Chinese emperor Ai of Han, fell in love...

Euphemism: bolto white dude in this horror movie translates old arabic textsomehow it rhymes perfectly in english when-the-reindeer-comes-home Now I really wanna see a horrible faltering translation from one of these movies, like "Whomsoever enters this room, they shall.. well, this word is like.. literally it means 'unbecome,' but it was used as a euphemism for death pooping, and-wait, when was this carved? was it 15th century? Cuz it was a euphemism for sex too in the 15th century. This is either a cursed crypt, a bathroom, or a royal bedroom. Who wants to roll the dice?" kiddthemaniac "You guys, I've gotta be honest, okay? This thing's written in some kind of weird localized dialect, and I've only ever studied the standard form of the language. I mean, this part right here... I can't even tell if it's some kind of error or an obscure slang phrase.. whatever it is, I have no idea what the fuck it means." roachpatrol this is written in ancient sumerian. it's about... uh.. well that word is... uh. okay this is either a poem about farming, or straight-up a nasty sex guide. it might be both. i want a shower lizawithazed okay see the thing is in one dialect this word is the name of a terrifying Demon but in a completely different language from the same area that has the same writing system and gave a lot of loan words to the first, it means horse and the context is really not helping" seananmcguire "You know what? This thing is bound in human skin and the walls are bleeding let's just leave pod7et #those examples are#in order#5am#Kevin#Cas#Bobby#and Dean Source: bolto iffave #text post 286,509 notes A team of archaeologists and linguists, ladies and gentlemen
Euphemism: bolto
 white dude in this horror movie translates old arabic textsomehow it
 rhymes perfectly in english
 when-the-reindeer-comes-home
 Now I really wanna see a horrible faltering translation from one of these
 movies, like "Whomsoever enters this room, they shall.. well, this word is
 like.. literally it means 'unbecome,' but it was used as a euphemism for death
 pooping, and-wait, when was this carved? was it 15th century? Cuz it was a
 euphemism for sex too in the 15th century. This is either a cursed crypt, a
 bathroom, or a royal bedroom. Who wants to roll the dice?"
 kiddthemaniac
 "You guys, I've gotta be honest, okay? This thing's written in some kind
 of weird localized dialect, and I've only ever studied the standard form of the
 language. I mean, this part right here... I can't even tell if it's some kind of error
 or an obscure slang phrase.. whatever it is, I have no idea what the fuck it
 means."
 roachpatrol
 this is written in ancient sumerian. it's about... uh.. well that word is... uh.
 okay this is either a poem about farming, or straight-up a nasty sex guide. it
 might be both. i want a shower
 lizawithazed
 okay see the thing is in one dialect this word is the name of a terrifying Demon
 but in a completely different language from the same area that has the same
 writing system and gave a lot of loan words to the first, it means horse and
 the context is really not helping"
 seananmcguire
 "You know what? This thing is bound in human skin and the walls are bleeding
 let's just leave
 pod7et
 #those examples are#in order#5am#Kevin#Cas#Bobby#and Dean
 Source: bolto iffave #text post
 286,509 notes
A team of archaeologists and linguists, ladies and gentlemen

A team of archaeologists and linguists, ladies and gentlemen

Euphemism: WRITING PROMPT WPl Walt Disney actually WAS cryogenetically frozen, but he's now been cured, unthawed, and is being briefed orn what has happened with his company since 1966. - Logic 85 362 points 8 hours ago James begins briefing Walt on the performance of the Disney Company. He approaches the end of the list and gets squeamish, and states, "Also, the most recent movie really took off, and we are working on a sequel now Disney responds, "The most recent movie? What's it called?" James didn't want to respond, so he skirted around the issue, "Oh, there was plenty of singing, dancing, great product-tie-ins, it even won a few awards." Disney asked again, "The movie--what was the name of the movie?" James' eyes shifted downward, then over to Michael who pretended not to notice the awkwardness in the room. James again attempted to re-direct Walt. "It stars two sisters, and even had a talking snowman!" Walt knew something was amiss, and wondered if perhaps the movie had been named something that sounded horrible in the 50's, but had taken new meaning in the new century. Walt ran through every vulgarity, curse word, and euphemism in his mind, trying to determine what name could be so embarrassing and awkward that James and Michael feared to tell it to him Stumped, Walt called for his new secretary Peggy?" Walt called. James and Michael exchanged nervous glances "Mr. Disney?" Peggy replied nervously It's Walt, Peggy. Peggy, do you mind telling me about our most recent movie, starting two young, singing girls and a talking snowman?" Peggy glanced at James and Michael, fearing that no matter how she answered, she was going to upset someone It's alright, Peggy, I can handle it," Walt said with a smile. James slowly nodded his approval It's...um...it's called...Disney's Frozen." tahthetrickster:do you ever read a pun and then just have to push your chair back and stare at the wall for a minute
Euphemism: WRITING PROMPT
 WPl Walt Disney actually WAS
 cryogenetically frozen, but he's now been
 cured, unthawed, and is being briefed orn
 what has happened with his company since
 1966.

 - Logic 85 362 points 8 hours ago
 James begins briefing Walt on the performance of the
 Disney Company. He approaches the end of the list and
 gets squeamish, and states, "Also, the most recent
 movie really took off, and we are working on a sequel
 now
 Disney responds, "The most recent movie? What's it
 called?"
 James didn't want to respond, so he skirted around the
 issue, "Oh, there was plenty of singing, dancing, great
 product-tie-ins, it even won a few awards."
 Disney asked again, "The movie--what was the name of
 the movie?"
 James' eyes shifted downward, then over to Michael
 who pretended not to notice the awkwardness in the
 room. James again attempted to re-direct Walt. "It stars
 two sisters, and even had a talking snowman!"
 Walt knew something was amiss, and wondered if
 perhaps the movie had been named something that
 sounded horrible in the 50's, but had taken new
 meaning in the new century. Walt ran through every
 vulgarity, curse word, and euphemism in his mind, trying
 to determine what name could be so embarrassing and
 awkward that James and Michael feared to tell it to him
 Stumped, Walt called for his new secretary
 Peggy?" Walt called. James and Michael exchanged
 nervous glances
 "Mr. Disney?" Peggy replied nervously
 It's Walt, Peggy. Peggy, do you mind telling me about
 our most recent movie, starting two young, singing girls
 and a talking snowman?"
 Peggy glanced at James and Michael, fearing that no
 matter how she answered, she was going to upset
 someone
 It's alright, Peggy, I can handle it," Walt said with a
 smile. James slowly nodded his approval
 It's...um...it's called...Disney's Frozen."
tahthetrickster:do you ever read a pun and then just have to push your chair back and stare at the wall for a minute

tahthetrickster:do you ever read a pun and then just have to push your chair back and stare at the wall for a minute