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Establish: epochayur people that can swim underwater in chlorine pools with their eyes open are not to be trusted oonabashed This is true. I once did this to cheat at a pool game, and a kid in goggles saw me do it He wanted to know how, so l told him I was part mermaid. He wanted to call bullshit, but I was like, look kid, I can prove t, but you're not allowed to tell anyone under 18. He said what about his mom, I said, sure, but she won't believe you, so it didn't matter if he ratted on me to an adult. He was skeptical but agreed. For the next ten minutes I executed any number of water related feats-I've been swimming since I was 3 and was on the swimming and diving team in high school I crossed the entire span of the pool underwater without taking a breath. I sat on the bottom of the pool for a minute. I lifted him over my head while only treading water. I floated face down without moving for a convincing stretch of time. I did a pretty choice inward pike off the diving board. This was what really convinced him. He'd seen a dolphin show once, apparently, and thought it was pretty comparable So yeah. This kid was straight up convinced I was a mermaid and was losing his shit and trying to figure out how to get around his promise He went over to the hottub to tell all the parents and they all like, smiled and laughed and nodded. He could tell they didn't believe him. He came back and was like You were right about adults." Yeah kid, I know" "Well but, you're the most important discovery I've ever made! I gotta tell someonel" Well. You need to establish some credibility first, I told him. "You have to prove to people that you're a serious scientific thinker, and then when you say stuff like this, they might believe you. He thought about this for a second. "But what if you just showed them?" and I said it was against half memaid rules to show adults anything that could make them suspicious. He took this seriously He spent the rest of his time in the pool following me around. I taught him how to hold his breath underwater without plugging his nose and how to do a backstroke I'm still proud of this, and regret nothing o marky-mark-quack-quack-quack 698,054 notes 14 Times People On Tumblr Told Really Great Stories
Establish: epochayur
 people that can swim underwater in chlorine pools with their eyes open
 are not to be trusted
 oonabashed
 This is true. I once did this to cheat at a pool game, and a kid in
 goggles saw me do it He wanted to know how, so l told him I was part
 mermaid. He wanted to call bullshit, but I was like, look kid, I can prove
 t, but you're not allowed to tell anyone under 18. He said what about his
 mom, I said, sure, but she won't believe you, so it didn't matter if he
 ratted on me to an adult. He was skeptical but agreed. For the next ten
 minutes I executed any number of water related feats-I've been
 swimming since I was 3 and was on the swimming and diving team in
 high school I crossed the entire span of the pool underwater without
 taking a breath. I sat on the bottom of the pool for a minute. I lifted him
 over my head while only treading water. I floated face down without
 moving for a convincing stretch of time. I did a pretty choice inward pike
 off the diving board. This was what really convinced him. He'd seen a
 dolphin show once, apparently, and thought it was pretty comparable
 So yeah. This kid was straight up convinced I was a mermaid and was
 losing his shit and trying to figure out how to get around his promise
 He went over to the hottub to tell all the parents and they all like, smiled
 and laughed and nodded. He could tell they didn't believe him. He came
 back and was like You were right about adults." Yeah kid, I
 know" "Well but, you're the most important discovery I've ever made! I
 gotta tell someonel" Well. You need to establish some credibility first,
 I told him. "You have to prove to people that you're a serious scientific
 thinker, and then when you say stuff like this, they might believe you.
 He thought about this for a second. "But what if you just showed
 them?" and I said it was against half memaid rules to show adults
 anything that could make them suspicious. He took this seriously He
 spent the rest of his time in the pool following me around. I taught him
 how to hold his breath underwater without plugging his nose and how
 to do a backstroke
 I'm still proud of this, and regret nothing
 o marky-mark-quack-quack-quack
 698,054 notes
14 Times People On Tumblr Told Really Great Stories

14 Times People On Tumblr Told Really Great Stories

Establish: can do it TO DO LIST corbinalexanderwealthguidance: CORBIN ALEXANDER WEALLTH GUIDANCE:  POSTED 05/06/2018 STARTING OUT FROM SCRATCH – POST #1 IN MY SERIES BUDGETING: 50/30/20/RULE: For the person already living life, this is an essential rule of thumb: -          50% to Needs:  utilities, rent, food, car insurance (never buy a car on credit/payments and be  required to pay collision coverage:  only buy a used, 3-8 year old, Honda/Kia/Toyota for the best value/bang for your buck), gas, clothes allowance, etc.  Essentials needed to live! -          20% to Savings Investment:   used to pay bank loans/student loans, monthly deposits into a retirement account and an investment account, credit card payments (pay off the entire balance each month and not just the minimum payment to avoid paying interest on interest = that’s what eats you alive causing you to NEVER pay off the balance(s)) and never buy stuff from Fingerhut/Rent-A-Center or the like…..the interest on this stuff is outrageous and you pay 3x-5x what the item is actually worth in the end – if you ever get to the end of the payments! -          30% to Wants:  vacations (limit one per year – do day trips for the other week taken on paid vacation benefits) and future “Wants” such as saving for a house:  if you need the monies in less than 5 years, then bank it – if you need the monies in over 8 years, then invest it; that is the industry rule of thumb when it comes to “Wants”. Two methods to keep you on track:  -          The spread sheet method:  this is where you track your budget in MS Excel.  -    The envelope method:  this is where you assign envelopes labeled by each expense.   EMERGECY FUND:   This where you have a bank savings account holding a minimum of six months of expenses to pay “all” your monthly bills in the event of a job lose or an illness:  you are NEVER to dip into this unless you are in a dire straight situation.   Establish this fund FIRST before all other suggestions are followed.   SAVINGS INVESTMENT:   -          Start saving for an emergency fund first. -          Do not use the Overdraft protection feature on your bank debit card = avoid getting into the habit of paying Overdraft charges over and over again!  But do have it on the account – in the event of an emergency = like your car breaks down, etc. and avoid using a credit card and carry a balance. -          Start an investment account at Ally.com/invest and invest in my Model ETF Portfolio that I’ll outline at a later date…stay tuned! -          Start investing in my ”ALL PURPOSE” Model Mutual Fund Portfolio: starting in your mid-50’s/early 60’s. -          Start investing in my designated Model Mutual Fund 80+ Portfolio in your 80’s; exact allocation percentages to also be revealed at a later date! CREDIT CARDS/BANKING MANAGEMENT:  -          Establish a credit history at 18 years old before working a full-time 9-5 or going to college:  now is the time to obtain a pre-paid debt card through Capital One.com or a similar lender.   And do not forget to get a small personal loan ($1,000.00 minimum) at a local bank using a co-signer to qualify for the loan.  As you SLOWLY establish a credit history; apply for a no-fee/low credit limit card through Discover.com and/or Capital One.com.   HAVE YOU RUN UP YOUR CREDIT CARDS TO THE MAX AND DROWNING IN DEBT OVERALL? – CONSIDER CLAIMING BANKRUPTCY AND START OVER – JUST BE CAREFUL; DON’T SCREW UP AGAIN LIKE THE LAST TIME.   -          Earn interest in an interest-bearing savings or CD account:               Not all banks are created equal; which is why most are banking wrong:                 BANK OF AMERICA:  This is a “fee city” bank.  You name it, they have a fee attached TD BANK:  This is a bank with convoluted morals.  Good luck banking in this environment; more horseshit then you can shake a stick at!    -   If your balance falls below $100.00 at TD at any given time during the month; they hit you with a $15.00 low balance fee ($180.00 a year!). You are better off going to a local bank or a federal credit union for your banking needs. BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR MY NEXT SERIES INSTALLMENT POST ON 6/3/2018!
Establish: can
 do it
 TO DO LIST
corbinalexanderwealthguidance:
CORBIN ALEXANDER WEALLTH
GUIDANCE:  POSTED 05/06/2018
STARTING OUT FROM SCRATCH – POST #1 IN MY SERIES
BUDGETING:
50/30/20/RULE:
For the person already living life, this is an essential
rule of thumb:
-         
50% to Needs:  utilities, rent, food, car insurance (never buy a car on credit/payments and be  required to pay collision coverage:  only buy a used, 3-8 year old, Honda/Kia/Toyota for the best value/bang for your buck),
gas, clothes allowance, etc.  Essentials needed to live!
-         
20% to Savings
 Investment:   used to pay bank
loans/student loans, monthly deposits into a retirement account and an investment
account, credit card payments (pay off the entire balance each month and not
just the minimum payment to avoid paying interest on interest = that’s what
eats you alive causing you to NEVER
pay off the balance(s)) and never buy stuff from Fingerhut/Rent-A-Center or the
like…..the interest on this stuff is outrageous and you pay 3x-5x what the item
is actually worth in the end – if you ever get to the end of the payments!
-         
30% to Wants:  vacations (limit one per year – do day trips
for the other week taken on paid vacation benefits) and future “Wants” such as
saving for a house:  if you need the
monies in less than 5 years, then bank it – if you need the monies in over 8
years, then invest it; that is the industry rule of thumb when it comes to “Wants”.
Two methods to keep you on track:
 -         
The spread sheet method:  this is where you track your budget in MS
Excel.
 -    The envelope method:  this is where you assign envelopes labeled by
each expense.   
EMERGECY FUND:  
This where you have a bank savings
account holding a minimum of six months of expenses to pay “all” your monthly bills in the event of
a job lose or an illness:  you are NEVER to dip into this unless you are
in a dire straight situation.  
Establish this fund FIRST before all other suggestions are followed.
 
SAVINGS  INVESTMENT:   
-         
Start saving for an emergency fund first.
-         
Do not
use the Overdraft protection feature on your bank debit card = avoid getting
into the habit of paying Overdraft charges over and over again!  But do have it on the account – in the event
of an emergency = like your car breaks down, etc. and avoid using a credit card
and carry a balance.
-         
Start an investment account at Ally.com/invest
and invest in my Model ETF Portfolio that I’ll outline at a later date…stay tuned!
-         
Start investing in my ”ALL PURPOSE” Model Mutual Fund Portfolio: starting in your mid-50’s/early
60’s.
-         
Start investing in my designated Model Mutual
Fund 80+ Portfolio in your 80’s; exact allocation percentages to also be
revealed at a later date!

CREDIT
CARDS/BANKING MANAGEMENT:
 -         
Establish a credit history at 18 years old
before working a full-time 9-5 or going to college:  now is the time to obtain a pre-paid debt
card through Capital One.com or a
similar lender.   And do not forget to
get a small personal loan ($1,000.00 minimum) at a local bank using a co-signer to qualify for the loan.
 As you SLOWLY
establish a credit history; apply for a no-fee/low credit limit card through Discover.com and/or Capital One.com.
 
HAVE
YOU RUN UP YOUR CREDIT CARDS TO THE MAX AND DROWNING IN DEBT OVERALL? –
CONSIDER CLAIMING BANKRUPTCY AND START OVER – JUST BE CAREFUL; DON’T SCREW UP
AGAIN LIKE THE LAST TIME.
 
-         
Earn interest in an interest-bearing savings or
CD account:
               Not all
banks are created equal; which is why most are banking wrong:   
               BANK
OF AMERICA:  This is a “fee city”
bank.  You name it, they have a fee
attached
TD
BANK:  This is a bank with convoluted
morals.  Good luck banking in this
environment; more horseshit then you can shake a stick
at!  
 -   If your balance falls below $100.00 at TD at any
given time during the month; they hit you with a $15.00 low balance fee
($180.00 a year!).
You
are better off going to a local bank or a federal credit union for your banking
needs.
BE ON THE LOOKOUT
FOR MY NEXT SERIES INSTALLMENT POST ON 6/3/2018!

corbinalexanderwealthguidance: CORBIN ALEXANDER WEALLTH GUIDANCE:  POSTED 05/06/2018 STARTING OUT FROM SCRATCH – POST #1 IN MY SERIES BUD...

Establish: rabbitinheadlights l feel like the reason certain dog-lovers insist cats are evil is because they read their body language as if they were dogs. So here's a very basic quide to common "mean" things cats do that actually aren't mean at all if you know what they're thinking Rolling and exposing belly- attacks you when touched Does not mean: Give belly rubs! - haha I tricked you! Actually means: I'm playful! If you reach for my belly I'll grab your arm and bite it because I think we're playfighting! Lazily exposing belly still attacks when touched Does not mean: tricked you again! Actually means: I'm showing you my belly because I trust you. Please don't break that trust by invading my personal space. I might accept a belly rub if I'm not ticklish and I know you wel Snapping at you while being pet Does not mean: I suddenly decided I dislike you! Actually means: You're petting me in a way that gives me too much restless energy. Please focus on petting my head and shoulders instead of stroking the full length of my back next time Is in the same room but makes no attempt to interact Does not mean: l'm ignoring you Actually means: We're hanging out! I'm being respectful by giving you space while still enjoying your company Slapping/scratching your hand when you try to pet them Does not mean: I hate you! Actually means: You've failed to establish that we're not playing, or the way you're approaching me scares me. Be calmer, speak more gently, make eye contact and blink slowly at me before you try again. squeakykins I love this post omg, thank you so much. As a lifelong cat person, dogs perplex me because they're so completely different behaviourally blome3kissesbitch I love dogs too but, I've been trying to tell people, you canNOT treat cats like you treat dogs. They arent the same animals and have very different personalities blome3kissesbitch P.s. people often pet cats way too hard. Dogs like a firm pet or a pat on the belly, cats dont have the same bone structure and are more flexible than dogs so what you're doing probably hurts them northisnotup Also, their tail language is the opposite! Cats, tail up: happy to see you, happy to be here, happy in general Dogs (most breeds), tail up: On Alert, Hypervigilant, May Attack pluckyredhead And a cat with a swishing/"wagging" tail is a P.O.'ed cat. naamahdarling Sitting and staring Does not mean: I am challenging you/plotting your demise/just generally evil and creepy Actually means: I am a desert-adapted species, so my natural tears are very thick and keep my eyes moist for a nice long time. I do find people interesting and enjoy watching them. I just don't need to blink very often! Staring and blinking slowly Does not mean: I'm smug and think l am smarter than you Actually means: I like you! But I don't need to get up in your face to show it. I can just sit over here and blow kisses at you to show you l am glad you are around! It's very frustrating for me when people expect cats to act like dogs, or act like they're deceitful. They aren't! They just AREN'T DOGS Cats are misunderstood creatures
Establish: rabbitinheadlights
 l feel like the reason certain dog-lovers insist cats are evil is because they read
 their body language as if they were dogs. So here's a very basic quide to
 common "mean" things cats do that actually aren't mean at all if you know what
 they're thinking
 Rolling and exposing belly- attacks you when touched
 Does not mean: Give belly rubs! - haha I tricked you!
 Actually means: I'm playful! If you reach for my belly I'll grab your arm and bite
 it because I think we're playfighting!
 Lazily exposing belly still attacks when touched
 Does not mean: tricked you again!
 Actually means: I'm showing you my belly because I trust you. Please don't
 break that trust by invading my personal space. I might accept a belly rub if I'm
 not ticklish and I know you wel
 Snapping at you while being pet
 Does not mean: I suddenly decided I dislike you!
 Actually means: You're petting me in a way that gives me too much restless
 energy. Please focus on petting my head and shoulders instead of stroking the
 full length of my back next time
 Is in the same room but makes no attempt to interact
 Does not mean: l'm ignoring you
 Actually means: We're hanging out! I'm being respectful by giving you space
 while still enjoying your company
 Slapping/scratching your hand when you try to pet them
 Does not mean: I hate you!
 Actually means: You've failed to establish that we're not playing, or the way
 you're approaching me scares me. Be calmer, speak more gently, make eye
 contact and blink slowly at me before you try again.
 squeakykins
 I love this post omg, thank you so much. As a lifelong cat person, dogs perplex
 me because they're so completely different behaviourally
 blome3kissesbitch
 I love dogs too but, I've been trying to tell people, you canNOT treat cats like you
 treat dogs. They arent the same animals and have very different personalities
 blome3kissesbitch
 P.s. people often pet cats way too hard. Dogs like a firm pet or a pat on the
 belly, cats dont have the same bone structure and are more flexible than dogs
 so what you're doing probably hurts them
 northisnotup
 Also, their tail language is the opposite!
 Cats, tail up: happy to see you, happy to be here, happy in general
 Dogs (most breeds), tail up: On Alert, Hypervigilant, May Attack
 pluckyredhead
 And a cat with a swishing/"wagging" tail is a P.O.'ed cat.
 naamahdarling
 Sitting and staring
 Does not mean: I am challenging you/plotting your demise/just generally evil
 and creepy
 Actually means: I am a desert-adapted species, so my natural tears are very
 thick and keep my eyes moist for a nice long time. I do find people interesting
 and enjoy watching them. I just don't need to blink very often!
 Staring and blinking slowly
 Does not mean: I'm smug and think l am smarter than you
 Actually means: I like you! But I don't need to get up in your face to show it. I
 can just sit over here and blow kisses at you to show you l am glad you are
 around!
 It's very frustrating for me when people expect cats to act like dogs, or act like
 they're deceitful. They aren't! They just AREN'T DOGS
Cats are misunderstood creatures

Cats are misunderstood creatures