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Asian, Confused, and Fucking: Dylan Reneau @DylanReneau Unpopular opinion: cookie dough is worth taking the risk of getting salmonella @logancooper14 Dylan pull yourself together and go get a damn spoon. It's cookie dough not a beefy 5 layer burrito have some class kingantlion: smallest-feeblest-boggart: ego-ann-16: phantoms-lair: ankaa-avarshina: lorem64: ankaa-avarshina: lorem64: I’m so confused why he would think cookie dough would give him salmonella??? What parent told him this. There’s no chicken in there! Two words: Raw eggs. ?? What kind of world do you live in where Raw eggs carry salmonella or are in anyway unsafe Don’t ask me, ask them Americans. I’m an Asian just passing the word on *deep breath* Though the risk is small, raw eggs can carry samonella. MORE THREATENINGLY Raw wheat can carry E. Coli. However, if you don’t mind making your own cookie dough, you can easily make it safely. Take your standard recipe. Omit the eggs. Eggs serve as a binding agent to hold the cookie together. Since we’re eating the dough raw, that’s not needed. Take the flour, put it in a pan and bake it at 350 for 7 minutes. Any E. Coli is now dead. Just mix the rest of the ingredients together as the recipe is called for and BAM, perfectly safe edible cookie dough. Thank u so fucking much for this wisdom wait you’re telling my i can get E, Coli just FROM EATING FLOUR straight from the bag??? Why..why are you eating flour straight from the bag?
Asian, Confused, and Fucking: Dylan Reneau
 @DylanReneau
 Unpopular opinion: cookie dough is
 worth taking the risk of getting
 salmonella
 @logancooper14
 Dylan pull yourself together and go
 get a damn spoon. It's cookie dough
 not a beefy 5 layer burrito have some
 class
kingantlion:
smallest-feeblest-boggart:

ego-ann-16:

phantoms-lair:

ankaa-avarshina:

lorem64:

ankaa-avarshina:


lorem64:
I’m so confused why he would think cookie dough would give him salmonella??? What parent told him this. There’s no chicken in there!
Two words: Raw eggs.


?? What kind of world do you live in where Raw eggs carry salmonella or are in anyway unsafe

Don’t ask me, ask them Americans. I’m an Asian just passing the word on

*deep breath* Though the risk is small, raw eggs can carry samonella.
MORE THREATENINGLY Raw wheat can carry E. Coli. However, if you don’t mind making your own cookie dough, you can easily make it safely.
Take your standard recipe. Omit the eggs. Eggs serve as a binding agent to hold the cookie together. Since we’re eating the dough raw, that’s not needed. Take the flour, put it in a pan and bake it at 350 for 7 minutes. Any E. Coli is now dead.
Just mix the rest of the ingredients together as the recipe is called for and BAM, perfectly safe edible cookie dough.


Thank u so fucking much for this wisdom

wait you’re telling my i can get E, Coli just FROM EATING FLOUR straight from the bag???


Why..why are you eating flour straight from the bag?

kingantlion: smallest-feeblest-boggart: ego-ann-16: phantoms-lair: ankaa-avarshina: lorem64: ankaa-avarshina: lorem64: I’m so confuse...

Apparently, Confused, and Friends: solarmorrigan So. 10th grade English class, We all come in one morning to find a balloon and a perfectly sharpened pencil on each of our desks. No instructions, no explanation, which is strange, because our teacher is meticulous about that sort of thing A couple of people try to ask her and she says we'll get to it. She takes role and then announces that she needs to go to the copy room and she'll be back in a couple of minutes Kinda unorthodox, but no one is complaining because this is advanced English and the teacher usually goes kinda hard. So. y'know. Brief respite. We all sit and chat, one of the boys teasingly steals a girl's bailoon, but gives it back to her easily enough; it's quiet and kind of a nice break. Then the teacher comes back stops in the doorway, and just stares at us After a long moment she says, confused, "You didn't pop the balloons To which one of the guys about two rows over exclaims, "We re allowed to pop them? and immediately turms around and stabs his friend's balloon with the pencil There is a vicious revenge balloon-stabbing, and a few more people pop seatmates balloons or their own, and the whole time the teacher is just shaking her head. 1 can't believe you didn't pop your balloons Apparently we were starting Lord of the Fies that day and she wanted to demonstrate the basic concept of kids turning on each other when there are no authority figures present and it was basically my favorite failed social experiment ever vansnailismylife Back in my 10th grade we did a similar things around Lord of the Flies, where we had a test scheduled for that day, and when we walked in, the teacher took role by looking through the window of the door and never entered the classroom On the board were three tasks written and the teacher had brought in donuts. At first we all sat around and waited for the teacher to come in, but eventually we just started tackling the ist of tasks. Task 1-the test. Everybody took it silently, no one cheated, everyone turned it in and we went on to Task Two tidy up the room, So we did, we split into a couple groups and each one cleaned an area of the room. Task Three Hand out the donuts. There were 12 donuts, and 30 of us. So we split the donuts into thirds, each took a third, and left the extras for the teacher After this, the teacher came in absolutely FUMING She was so upset we had followed all the rules and completed the tasks. Apparently she had been texting kids telling them to start some chaos but they all ignored it because they were too nice She tied to dock our grades for not going absolutely wild because it meant her class didnt get the point across hookedonafeeeling That's because lord of the flies isnt representative of humanity its representative of rich white male shitheads
Apparently, Confused, and Friends: solarmorrigan
 So. 10th grade English class, We all come in one morning to find a balloon and
 a perfectly sharpened pencil on each of our desks. No instructions, no
 explanation, which is strange, because our teacher is meticulous about that sort
 of thing A couple of people try to ask her and she says we'll get to it. She takes
 role and then announces that she needs to go to the copy room and she'll be
 back in a couple of minutes
 Kinda unorthodox, but no one is complaining because this is advanced English
 and the teacher usually goes kinda hard. So. y'know. Brief respite. We all sit and
 chat, one of the boys teasingly steals a girl's bailoon, but gives it back to her
 easily enough; it's quiet and kind of a nice break. Then the teacher comes back
 stops in the doorway, and just stares at us
 After a long moment she says, confused, "You didn't pop the balloons
 To which one of the guys about two rows over exclaims, "We re allowed to pop
 them? and immediately turms around and stabs his friend's balloon with the
 pencil
 There is a vicious revenge balloon-stabbing, and a few more people pop
 seatmates balloons or their own, and the whole time the teacher is just shaking
 her head. 1 can't believe you didn't pop your balloons
 Apparently we were starting Lord of the Fies that day and she wanted to
 demonstrate the basic concept of kids turning on each other when there are no
 authority figures present and it was basically my favorite failed social experiment
 ever
 vansnailismylife
 Back in my 10th grade we did a similar things around Lord of the Flies, where
 we had a test scheduled for that day, and when we walked in, the teacher took
 role by looking through the window of the door and never entered the classroom
 On the board were three tasks written and the teacher had brought in donuts. At
 first we all sat around and waited for the teacher to come in, but eventually we
 just started tackling the ist of tasks. Task 1-the test. Everybody took it silently,
 no one cheated, everyone turned it in and we went on to Task Two tidy up the
 room, So we did, we split into a couple groups and each one cleaned an area of
 the room. Task Three Hand out the donuts. There were 12 donuts, and 30 of us.
 So we split the donuts into thirds, each took a third, and left the extras for the
 teacher After this, the teacher came in absolutely FUMING She was so upset
 we had followed all the rules and completed the tasks. Apparently she had been
 texting kids telling them to start some chaos but they all ignored it because they
 were too nice She tied to dock our grades for not going absolutely wild
 because it meant her class didnt get the point across
 hookedonafeeeling
 That's because lord of the flies isnt representative of humanity its
 representative of rich white male shitheads

Ass, Drugs, and Party: Rose Bud Follow @MiamiBud2 So I was at a party yesterday and some guy tried to drug me but me being the brilliant, sharp and quick person I am I noticed right away, went to the bathroom threw it down the sink and left Follow @Geuice301 I think as men, we all need to agree that if we see a nigga drop any type of drugs in somebody drink we just need to administer a collective ass whoopin. Rose Bud @MiamiBud2 So I was at a party yesterday and some guy tried to drug me but me being the brilliant, sharp and quick person I am I noticed right away, went to the bathroom threw it down the sink and left Show this thread 10:04 AM 25 May 2019 131,383 Retweets 358,681 Likes ravensnowstudio: dirkdigglr1: niggazinmoscow: Take care of yourself. And don’t trust strangers easily— it might be lethal! Being a girl is scary in so many ways. Yeah it can happen to men, but cmon they see females as an easier target. I agree on this corrective asswhoopin If you see this, don’t just sneakily tell the woman or the bartender. Shout for everyone to hear “Hey, you just put something in that drink!” While pointing at the person.  If a predator misses target number one they’ll just go for target 2. If you shame them out of the bar they’ll never come back. And there is a solid chance of a collective asswhoopin, or an actual arrest for attempted rape. When in doubt, make the biggest scene you can.
Ass, Drugs, and Party: Rose Bud
 Follow
 @MiamiBud2
 So I was at a party yesterday and some
 guy tried to drug me but me being the
 brilliant, sharp and quick person I am I
 noticed right away, went to the
 bathroom threw it down the sink and left

 Follow
 @Geuice301
 I think as men, we all need to agree that
 if we see a nigga drop any type of drugs
 in somebody drink we just need to
 administer a collective ass whoopin.
 Rose Bud @MiamiBud2
 So I was at a party yesterday and some guy tried to drug
 me but me being the brilliant, sharp and quick person I am
 I noticed right away, went to the bathroom threw it down
 the sink and left
 Show this thread
 10:04 AM 25 May 2019
 131,383 Retweets
 358,681 Likes
ravensnowstudio:
dirkdigglr1:

niggazinmoscow:
Take care of yourself. And don’t trust strangers easily— it might be lethal! Being a girl is scary in so many ways. Yeah it can happen to men, but cmon they see females as an easier target.

I agree on this corrective asswhoopin

If you see this, don’t just sneakily tell the woman or the bartender. Shout for everyone to hear “Hey, you just put something in that drink!” While pointing at the person. 
If a predator misses target number one they’ll just go for target 2. If you shame them out of the bar they’ll never come back.
And there is a solid chance of a collective asswhoopin, or an actual arrest for attempted rape.
When in doubt, make the biggest scene you can.

ravensnowstudio: dirkdigglr1: niggazinmoscow: Take care of yourself. And don’t trust strangers easily— it might be lethal! Being a girl is ...

Fucking, God, and Internet: mandatalks: locatescape: ask-link-the-hylian-champion: theinfiknight: memeseverdie: bidfox: rnother-hen: neener-nina: deltadragoon: vikinglibertarian: zombie-alpaca-sex-tarp: bestrooftalkever: coolstoryrob: meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerlin: serionsly: voyagevisuelle: This a Moonmelon, scientifically knows as asidus. This fruit grows in some parts of Japan, and is known for its vibrant blue color. What you probably don’t know about this fruit is that it can switch flavors after you eat it. Everything sour will taste sweet, everything salty will taste bitter, and it gives water a strong orange-like taste. It’s also very expensive…costing about ¥16000 JPY (which is about 200 dollars). or you know this could be photoshopped but idk you tell me this is alexandrias melon (wow) it never grows seeds but it can still produce other melons (its magic) it is grown deep in the jungles of peru and can prevent you from aging well into the hundreds it is known by the natives there as k’uhul ajaw cacao shi-jiiy. its really strange how all of these pictures look exactly the same because everything on the internet is true This is the Peppermeloni. (seriously gosh just look at that sexy mother fucker) Its scientific name is Tumblrous Pepperonus. The only known specimen is in a pot in David Karps treasure dungeon. It is a tradition that a single slice is given to every tumblr blog that reaches 500,000 followers. It has the remarkable property of being as healthy as watermelon but tasting like cheesy pepperoni pizza. This planet is really just so amazing guys wow. Patrickmelon The taste of this melon will always surprise you. I’m fucking done with this site This is the evermelon. If you cut this watermelon a certain way you will find that it has seemingly regenerated. You can do this an infinite number of times and will have a neverending supply of melon. OH GOD I haven’t seen this post in YEARS and THAT is the fucking additon to it!? ALRIGHT THATS IT ITS TIME TO STOP Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Ravenmelon and I’m ebony black  (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips, and a lot of people tell me I look like watermelons (AN: if u don’t know what dat is get da hell out of here!). Nothing will ever be better than the last one HASHBFJGJDHRJFKFKRJ That last one took me out at the god damn kneecaps- Someone wrote a really interesting article about why people believe these sorts of things so easily.
Fucking, God, and Internet: mandatalks:

locatescape:

ask-link-the-hylian-champion:


theinfiknight:


memeseverdie:

bidfox:

rnother-hen:

neener-nina:

deltadragoon:

vikinglibertarian:

zombie-alpaca-sex-tarp:

bestrooftalkever:

coolstoryrob:

meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerlin:

serionsly:

voyagevisuelle:

This a Moonmelon, scientifically knows as asidus. This fruit grows in some parts of Japan, and is known for its vibrant blue color. What you probably don’t know about this fruit is that it can switch flavors after you eat it. Everything sour will taste sweet, everything salty will taste bitter, and it gives water a strong orange-like taste. It’s also very expensive…costing about ¥16000 JPY (which is about 200 dollars).

or you know this could be photoshopped

but idk
you tell me


this is alexandrias melon (wow)
it never grows seeds but it can still produce other melons (its magic)
it is grown deep in the jungles of peru and can prevent you from aging well into the hundreds
it is known by the natives there as k’uhul ajaw cacao shi-jiiy.
its really strange how all of these pictures look exactly the same because everything on the internet is true


This is the Peppermeloni. (seriously gosh just look at that sexy mother fucker) Its scientific name is Tumblrous Pepperonus.
The only known specimen is in a pot in David Karps treasure dungeon. It is a tradition that a single slice is given to every tumblr blog that reaches 500,000 followers.
It has the remarkable property of being as healthy as watermelon but tasting like cheesy pepperoni pizza.
This planet is really just so amazing guys wow.


Patrickmelon
The taste of this melon will always surprise you.

I’m fucking done with this site


This is the evermelon.
If you cut this watermelon a certain way you will find that it has seemingly regenerated. You can do this an infinite number of times and will have a neverending supply of melon.



OH GOD I haven’t seen this post in YEARS and THAT is the fucking additon to it!?

ALRIGHT THATS IT ITS TIME TO STOP


Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Ravenmelon and I’m ebony black  (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips, and a lot of people tell me I look like watermelons (AN: if u don’t know what dat is get da hell out of here!).


Nothing will ever be better than the last one 


HASHBFJGJDHRJFKFKRJ


That last one took me out at the god damn kneecaps-



Someone wrote a really interesting article about why people believe these sorts of things so easily.

mandatalks: locatescape: ask-link-the-hylian-champion: theinfiknight: memeseverdie: bidfox: rnother-hen: neener-nina: deltadragoon...

Target, Tumblr, and Blog: bob-belcher:We humans are extremely easily embarrassed. We must buy our pornography secretively.
Target, Tumblr, and Blog: bob-belcher:We humans are extremely easily embarrassed. We must buy our pornography secretively.

bob-belcher:We humans are extremely easily embarrassed. We must buy our pornography secretively.

Dad, Soon..., and Tumblr: Lauren Herschel Follow @LaurenHerschel So grief is like this: There's a box with a ball in it. And a pain button And no, I am not known for my art skills. ITIO BALL PAIN RUTION Lauren Herschel @LaurenHerschel 29 Dec 2017 In the beginning, the ball is huge. You can't move the box without the ball hitting the pain button. It rattles around on its own in there and hits the button over and over. You can't control it it just keeps hurting. Sometimes it seems unrelenting Lauren Herschel @LaurenHerschel 29 Dec 2017 . Over time, the ball gets smaller. It hits the button less and less but when it does, it hurts just as much. It's better because you can function day to day more easily. But the downside is that the ball randomly hits that button when you least expect it. O Lauren Herschel @LaurenHerschel 29 Dec 2017 For most people, the ball never really goes away. It might hit less and less and you have more time to recover between hits, unlike when the ball was still giant. I thought this was the best description of grief I've heard in a long time. t149 36 2.3K Lauren Herschel @LaurenHerschel 29 Dec 2017 . I told my step dad about the ball in the box (with even worse pictures). He now uses it to talk about how he's feeling. "The Ball was really big today. It wouldn't lay off the button. I hope it gets smaller soon." Slowly it is. narwhalertheimpaler:This is the most accurate description I’ve ever found, thought it was worth spreading ❀
Dad, Soon..., and Tumblr: Lauren Herschel
 Follow
 @LaurenHerschel
 So grief is like this:
 There's a box with a ball in it. And a pain
 button
 And no, I am not known for my art skills.
 ITIO
 BALL
 PAIN
 RUTION

 Lauren Herschel @LaurenHerschel 29 Dec 2017
 In the beginning, the ball is huge. You can't move the box without the ball hitting
 the pain button. It rattles around on its own in there and hits the button over and
 over. You can't control it it just keeps hurting. Sometimes it seems unrelenting

 Lauren Herschel @LaurenHerschel 29 Dec 2017
 .
 Over time, the ball gets smaller. It hits the button less and less but when it does,
 it hurts just as much. It's better because you can function day to day more
 easily. But the downside is that the ball randomly hits that button when you
 least expect it.
 O

 Lauren Herschel @LaurenHerschel 29 Dec 2017
 For most people, the ball never really goes away. It might hit less and less and
 you have more time to recover between hits, unlike when the ball was still giant.
 I thought this was the best description of grief I've heard in a long time.
 t149
 36
 2.3K
 Lauren Herschel @LaurenHerschel 29 Dec 2017
 .
 I told my step dad about the ball in the box (with even worse pictures). He now
 uses it to talk about how he's feeling.
 "The Ball was really big today. It wouldn't lay off the button. I hope it gets
 smaller soon."
 Slowly it is.
narwhalertheimpaler:This is the most accurate description I’ve ever found, thought it was worth spreading ❀

narwhalertheimpaler:This is the most accurate description I’ve ever found, thought it was worth spreading ❀