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Mom, Warm, and Ear: It’s warm here under mom’s ear
Mom, Warm, and  Ear: It’s warm here under mom’s ear

It’s warm here under mom’s ear

Bad, Community, and Gif: stuartsemple 23m And the narc is... Send Message : X stuartsemple 23m The Lisson Gallery Send Message stuartsemple 23m Stuart Semp e Directors SSON GALLERY -54 Bell Street ndon, NW1 5DA mail and email to: contact@lissongallery.com BREACH OF TERMS OF SERVICE: CULTUREHUSTLE.COM ILLEGAL ACQUISITION ON BEHALF OF ANISH KAPOOR OF THE WORLD'S EST PINK PII ear Sirs aware that you represent Mr. Anish Kapoor, and I write today not to dob him in so that yo n tell him off but rather to try and resolve this matter. Unlike Kapoor I am not one to 'point th ger however on this occasion it has become important to do so old your gallery in the highest esteem, I am a fan of several of your artists, but on this casion you have been extremely naughty. You have been part of a conspiracy to illegally tain my PINK and provide Mr. Kapoor with it e have now finished fully researching this situation and it has come to our attention that you we been part of a conspiracy to obtain my PINK and provide Mr. Kapoor with it enabling him exploit the substance against my wishes. Further, this juvenile behaviour made much of the der artistic community sad thanks to his extremely childish and petty post on instagram e terms of service on my site CultureHustle.com are incredibly clear Hote: By way affiliated to Anish Kapoor, you are not purchasing this item on behalf of Anish Kapoor associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information and belief this paint Il not make its way into that hands of Anish Kapoor this duct to your cart you confim that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are direct violation to the above, on 10th of December 2016 a person by the name of Mr placed an order via the culturehustle.com website, for one jar of PINK at 5.36am. This Send Message stuartsemple 22m der was placed on behalf of your gallery and was duly delivered to The Lisson Gallery in ndon at 11.38am on the 13th of December. Shortly after which your gallery provided Mr. poor with the substance and on 23rd of December 2016 Mr. Kapoor posted a photograph or stagram showing he was indeed in possession of the substance, he also included the captio p Yours. The comments on this post clearly demonstrate the negative impact such a gesture shad upon a whole community. He needs to say sorry for hurting everyone's feelings. emind you, hoarding colours & stealing other people's colours without asking nicely isn't big rd it's simply bad. i said I think it would be best to resolve this matter amicably without this silly business calating any further. However, if we are unable to resolve this in a timely and grown up way n fully prepared to take further action which will no doubt become stressful and expensive. erefore I would appreciate it if: 1. Your gallery would say sorry for giving my pink to Mr. Kapoor 2 Mr. Kapoor would give me my PINK back. I don't want him to have it 3. He will write 100 lines 'I will be nice, I will share my colours and he will post the same his instagram iling the above, an agreeable settlement would also be 1. The re-imbursement of £3.99 (the cost of the PINK minus shipping) 2 And Mr. Kapoor to void his exclusive agreement over the use of Vanta Black in art. you were to settle as above I will be more than happy to share all my colours with him, so he esn't feel left out and can join in with the rest of us. ok forward to resolving this matter ours uart Semple Send Message capsgirl19: residesatshamecentral: groot-scamander: troublesomegay: spontaneousmusicalnumber: fox-smulders: STUART SEMPLE FOUND THE PINK NARC. God this is the greatest art feud of our time. Read the conditions of settlement. It’s gold. Captioned because even I’m having trouble reading this: [A screenshot from snapchat of a document that is cut off on the extreme edges, erasing the first and last two or three letters from each line. Doing my best to correctly transcribe] Breach of terms of service: culturehustle.comIllegal acquisition on behalf of Anish Kapoor of the World’s Pinkest Pink Dear Sirs, I am aware that you represent Mr. Anish Kapoor, and I write today not to dob him in so that you can tell him off but rather to try and resolve this matter. Unlike Kapoor I am not one to ‘point the finger’ however on this occasion it has become important to do so.  I hold your gallery in the highest esteem, I am a fan of several of your artists, but on this occasion you have been extremely naughty. You have been part of a conspiracy to obtain my PINK and provide Mr. Kapoor with it. We have now finished fully researching this situation and it has come to your attention that you have been part of a conspiracy to obtain my PINK and provide Mr. Kapoor with it enabling him to exploit the substance against my wishes. Further, this juvenile behavior made much of the wider artistic community sad thanks to his extremely petty and childish post on Instagram.  The terms of service on my site CultureHustle.com are incredibly clear:Quote: By adding this product to your cart you agree that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not purchasing this item on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information and belief this product will not make its way into that hands of Anish Kapoor.  In direct violation to the above, on 10th of December 2016 a person by the name of Mr [Blanked out] placed an order via the culturehustle.com website, for one jar of PINK at 5:36 am. This order was placed on behalf of your gallery and was delivered to the Lisson Gallery in London at 11:38 am on the 13th of December. Shortly after which your gallery provided Mr. Kapoor with the substance and on the 23rd of December 2016 Mr. Kapoor posted a photograph on Instagram showing he was indeed in possession of the substance, he also included the caption ‘Up Yours’. The comments on this post clearly demonstrate the negative impact such a gesture has had upon a wide community. He needs to say sorry for hurting everyone’s feelings. I remind you, hoarding colours and stealing other people’s colours without asking nicely isn’t big -rd it’s simply bad.  I said I think it would be best to resolve this matter amicably without this silly business escalating any further. However, if we are unable to resolve this in a timely and grown up way I am fully prepared to take further action which will no doubt become stressful and expensive.  Therefore I would appreciate it if:1. Your gallery would say sorry for giving my pink to Mr. Kapoor. 2. Mr. Kapoor would give me my pink back. I don’t want him to have it. 3. He will write 100 times, ‘I will be nice, I will share my colours’ and he will post the same to his Instagram. Failing the above, an agreeable settlement would also be:1. The reimbursement of $3.99 (the cost of PINK minus shipping)2. And Mr. Kapoor to void his exclusive agreement to the use of Vanta Black in art. If you were to settle as above I will be more than happy to share all my colours with him, so he doesn’t feel left out and can join in with the rest of us. I look forward to resolving this matter.  Yours, Stuart Semple Thank you for captioning this! I’d seen it before but never been able to read it. Alright this is hilarious because Since they broke contract, he can sue them To avoid getting sued, they need to humilate themselves publicly AND convince Kapoor to do likewise If they don’t want to humiliate themselves and avoid getting sued, they need to convince Kapoor to give up his color copyright Stuart Semple everybody! I… oh my gods this was always the plan. An irresistible Trojan horse. Of course Kapoor would get his hands on it, that was only a matter of time, and now Semple’s backed them into a corner. Is this what watching chess feels like?
Bad, Community, and Gif: stuartsemple 23m
 And the
 narc
 is...
 Send Message
 :

 X
 stuartsemple 23m
 The
 Lisson
 Gallery
 Send Message

 stuartsemple 23m
 Stuart Semp
 e Directors
 SSON GALLERY
 -54 Bell Street
 ndon, NW1 5DA
 mail and email to: contact@lissongallery.com
 BREACH OF TERMS OF SERVICE: CULTUREHUSTLE.COM
 ILLEGAL ACQUISITION ON BEHALF OF ANISH KAPOOR OF THE WORLD'S
 EST PINK
 PII
 ear Sirs
 aware that you represent Mr. Anish Kapoor, and I write today not to dob him in so that yo
 n tell him off but rather to try and resolve this matter. Unlike Kapoor I am not one to 'point th
 ger however on this occasion it has become important to do so
 old your gallery in the highest esteem, I am a fan of several of your artists, but on this
 casion you have been extremely naughty. You have been part of a conspiracy to illegally
 tain my PINK and provide Mr. Kapoor with it
 e have now finished fully researching this situation and it has come to our attention that you
 we been part of a conspiracy to obtain my PINK and provide Mr. Kapoor with it enabling him
 exploit the substance against my wishes. Further, this juvenile behaviour made much of the
 der artistic community sad thanks to his extremely childish and petty post on instagram
 e terms of service on my site CultureHustle.com are incredibly clear
 Hote: By
 way affiliated to Anish Kapoor, you are not purchasing this item on behalf of Anish Kapoor
 associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information and belief this paint
 Il not make its way into that hands of Anish Kapoor
 this
 duct to your cart you confim that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are
 direct violation to the above, on 10th of December 2016 a person by the name of Mr
 placed an order via the culturehustle.com website, for one jar of PINK at 5.36am. This
 Send Message

 stuartsemple 22m
 der was placed on behalf of your gallery and was duly delivered to The Lisson Gallery in
 ndon at 11.38am on the 13th of December. Shortly after which your gallery provided Mr.
 poor with the substance and on 23rd of December 2016 Mr. Kapoor posted a photograph or
 stagram showing he was indeed in possession of the substance, he also included the captio
 p Yours. The comments on this post clearly demonstrate the negative impact such a gesture
 shad upon a whole community. He needs to say sorry for hurting everyone's feelings.
 emind you, hoarding colours & stealing other people's colours without asking nicely isn't big
 rd it's simply bad.
 i said I think it would be best to resolve this matter amicably without this silly business
 calating any further. However, if we are unable to resolve this in a timely and grown up way
 n fully prepared to take further action which will no doubt become stressful and expensive.
 erefore I would appreciate it if:
 1. Your gallery would say sorry for giving my pink to Mr. Kapoor
 2 Mr. Kapoor would give me my PINK back. I don't want him to have it
 3. He will write 100 lines 'I will be nice, I will share my colours and he will post the same
 his instagram
 iling the above, an agreeable settlement would also be
 1. The re-imbursement of £3.99 (the cost of the PINK minus shipping)
 2 And Mr. Kapoor to void his exclusive agreement over the use of Vanta Black in art.
 you were to settle as above I will be more than happy to share all my colours with him, so he
 esn't feel left out and can join in with the rest of us.
 ok forward to resolving this matter
 ours
 uart Semple
 Send Message
capsgirl19:
residesatshamecentral:

groot-scamander:

troublesomegay:

spontaneousmusicalnumber:


fox-smulders:

STUART SEMPLE FOUND THE PINK NARC. 

God this is the greatest art feud of our time.

Read the conditions of settlement. It’s gold.
Captioned because even I’m having trouble reading this:
[A screenshot from snapchat of a document that is cut off on the extreme edges, erasing the first and last two or three letters from each line. Doing my best to correctly transcribe]
Breach of terms of service: culturehustle.comIllegal acquisition on behalf of Anish Kapoor of the World’s Pinkest Pink
Dear Sirs,
I am aware that you represent Mr. Anish Kapoor, and I write today not to dob him in so that you can tell him off but rather to try and resolve this matter. Unlike Kapoor I am not one to ‘point the finger’ however on this occasion it has become important to do so. 
I hold your gallery in the highest esteem, I am a fan of several of your artists, but on this occasion you have been extremely naughty. You have been part of a conspiracy to obtain my PINK and provide Mr. Kapoor with it.
We have now finished fully researching this situation and it has come to your attention that you have been part of a conspiracy to obtain my PINK and provide Mr. Kapoor with it enabling him to exploit the substance against my wishes. Further, this juvenile behavior made much of the wider artistic community sad thanks to his extremely petty and childish post on Instagram. 
The terms of service on my site CultureHustle.com are incredibly clear:Quote: By adding this product to your cart you agree that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not purchasing this item on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information and belief this product will not make its way into that hands of Anish Kapoor. 
In direct violation to the above, on 10th of December 2016 a person by the name of Mr [Blanked out] placed an order via the culturehustle.com website, for one jar of PINK at 5:36 am. This order was placed on behalf of your gallery and was delivered to the Lisson Gallery in London at 11:38 am on the 13th of December. Shortly after which your gallery provided Mr. Kapoor with the substance and on the 23rd of December 2016 Mr. Kapoor posted a photograph on Instagram showing he was indeed in possession of the substance, he also included the caption ‘Up Yours’. The comments on this post clearly demonstrate the negative impact such a gesture has had upon a wide community. He needs to say sorry for hurting everyone’s feelings.
I remind you, hoarding colours and stealing other people’s colours without asking nicely isn’t big -rd it’s simply bad. 
I said I think it would be best to resolve this matter amicably without this silly business escalating any further. However, if we are unable to resolve this in a timely and grown up way I am fully prepared to take further action which will no doubt become stressful and expensive. 
Therefore I would appreciate it if:1. Your gallery would say sorry for giving my pink to Mr. Kapoor. 2. Mr. Kapoor would give me my pink back. I don’t want him to have it. 3. He will write 100 times, ‘I will be nice, I will share my colours’ and he will post the same to his Instagram.
Failing the above, an agreeable settlement would also be:1. The reimbursement of $3.99 (the cost of PINK minus shipping)2. And Mr. Kapoor to void his exclusive agreement to the use of Vanta Black in art.
If you were to settle as above I will be more than happy to share all my colours with him, so he doesn’t feel left out and can join in with the rest of us.
I look forward to resolving this matter. 
Yours,
Stuart Semple


Thank you for captioning this! I’d seen it before but never been able to read it.


Alright this is hilarious because
Since they broke contract, he can sue them
To avoid getting sued, they need to humilate themselves publicly AND convince Kapoor to do likewise
If they don’t want to humiliate themselves and avoid getting sued, they need to convince Kapoor to give up his color copyright

Stuart Semple everybody!


I… oh my gods this was always the plan. An irresistible Trojan horse. Of course Kapoor would get his hands on it, that was only a matter of time, and now Semple’s backed them into a corner. Is this what watching chess feels like?

capsgirl19: residesatshamecentral: groot-scamander: troublesomegay: spontaneousmusicalnumber: fox-smulders: STUART SEMPLE FOUND THE PI...

Advice, Ass, and Dogs: laughhard More Web Videos Shopping Search tools Images News About 451,000 results (0.93 seconds) Showing results for i accidentally stepped on my dog's foot does he understand that it was an accident???? like i said sorry but mean does he know calleo Yes, if you react in a way similar to how another dog would react to accidentally harming a play mate or a pack mate. That's why, when dogs are playing (especially noticeable in puppies, as they're still learning bite inhibition), and one dog yelps loudly and sharply, like a dog does if you step on its paw or tail, if you react by immediately jumping back, not doing the thing again, and giving friendly, appeasing gestures (nice petting, scratching, chin scratching, etc...or if you were another dog, submissive gestures, muzzle licking, things that say 'nono sorry! I'm not a threat to you!") the dog does, in fact, realize that you weren't attacking or trying to be mean and that it was accidental. ear That's also why advice to puppy owners or owners trying to retrain a dog that was never taught to not bite during play are advised to yelp like a hurt dog if their puppy/dog gets too rough and immediately stop play and turn away, because that's a clear signal to the dog that they hurt you and you're upset now. Most dogs will immediately 'apologize' in dog language for that as, especially if it was during play, their intent wasn't to hurt anyone, just to have fun. They'll also tend to react that way if you yelp if they step on you. I know I've yelped at Bear a few times because his big 105lb ass is HEAVY and does not feel nice on a foot. plasticseeds Woah the reverse tactic Wow thefingerfuckingfemalefury glad that there is a way I can communicate an apology to a doggo if I accidentally step on their paw... because the only alternative would be exiling myself to the arctic to escape my shame This is SO IMPORTANT I am so luchadorgengar Can confirm this works btw, I used this info to train (ask) my dog to stop biting (she used to bite very hard with her very sharp teeth)
Advice, Ass, and Dogs: laughhard
 More
 Web
 Videos
 Shopping
 Search tools
 Images
 News
 About 451,000 results (0.93 seconds)
 Showing results for i accidentally stepped on my dog's foot does
 he understand that it was an accident???? like i said sorry but
 mean does he know
 calleo
 Yes, if you react in a way similar to how another
 dog would react to accidentally harming a play
 mate or a pack mate.
 That's why, when dogs are playing (especially
 noticeable in puppies, as they're still learning
 bite inhibition), and one dog yelps loudly and
 sharply, like a dog does if you step on its paw
 or tail, if you react by immediately jumping
 back, not doing the thing again, and giving
 friendly, appeasing gestures (nice petting,
 scratching, chin scratching, etc...or if you were
 another dog, submissive gestures, muzzle
 licking, things that say 'nono sorry! I'm not a
 threat to you!") the dog does, in fact, realize
 that you weren't attacking or trying to be mean
 and that it was accidental.
 ear
 That's also why advice to puppy owners or
 owners trying to retrain a dog that was never
 taught to not bite during play are advised to
 yelp like a hurt dog if their puppy/dog gets too
 rough and immediately stop play and turn away,
 because that's a clear signal to the dog that
 they hurt you and you're upset now.
 Most dogs will immediately 'apologize' in dog
 language for that as, especially if it was during
 play, their intent wasn't to hurt anyone, just to
 have fun. They'll also tend to react that way if
 you yelp if they step on you. I know I've yelped
 at Bear a few times because his big 105lb ass is
 HEAVY and does not feel nice on a foot.
 plasticseeds
 Woah the reverse tactic Wow
 thefingerfuckingfemalefury
 glad that there
 is a way I can communicate an apology to a
 doggo if I accidentally step on their paw...
 because the only alternative would be exiling
 myself to the arctic to escape my shame
 This is SO IMPORTANT I am so
 luchadorgengar
 Can confirm this works btw, I used this info to
 train (ask) my dog to stop biting (she used to
 bite very hard with her very sharp teeth)

Anna, Christmas, and Family: REI TILtilthat I L TIL that Spain had a king who was so malformed due to incest that he couldn't close his mouth and ended up destroying his entire dynasty via ift.tt neeetsocks thats just how spaniards be whittneydoll hey lil mama lemme whisper in ya ear friendly-neighborhood-patriarch the monumental ugliness of El Hechizado always astonishes me nunyabizni The Hapsburg's were a unique bunch weren't they nobodys-favorite-machinist The Ancestry of King Charles II of Spain (1661-1700) Philip of Castile (1478-1505) Joanna of Castile (1479-1555) Charles V. Holy Roman Emperor (1500-58) Isabella of Portugal (1503-39) Isabella of Burgundy (1501-26 Anna of Bohemia and Hungary (1503-47 Ferdinand I, Holy Roman Emperor (1503-64) Christian I of Denmark (1481-1559) Philip of Spain (1527-96) Christina of Denmark (1522-90) Anne of Albert V, Duke Habsburg of Bavaria (1528-90) (1528-79) Mana of Spain (1528-1603) Charles of Austria (1540-90) Maximillan II, Holy Roman Emperor (1527-76) Francis 1, Duke of Lorraine (1517-45 Anne of Austria (1549-80) Maria Anna of Bavaria (1551-1608) Renata of Lorraine (1544-1602) William V, Duke of Bavaria (1548-1626) Margarita of Austria (1584-1611) Philip I of Spain (1578-1621) Maria Anna of Bavaria Ferdinand II, Holy Roman Emperor (1578-1637) (1574-1616 Maria Anna of Spain (1606-46 Philip V of Spain (1605-65) Ferdinand III, Holy Roman Emperor (1608-57) Manana of Austria (1634-96 Charles l of Spain (1661-1700) His family tree was a fucking Christmas wreath. his body "did not contain a single drop of blood his heart was the size of a peppercorn short lame, epileptic senile his lungs corroded: his intestines rotten and gangrenous; completely bald before 35 he had a single testicle, black as coal, always on the verge of death, he repeatedly bafled Christendom by continuing to live his head was ul fwater In case you wanted to know what his coroner thought of him. Spanish History: 30 Times Tumblr Accidentally Taught Me Something While Making Me Laugh
Anna, Christmas, and Family: REI
 TILtilthat
 I L
 TIL that Spain had a king who was so malformed
 due to incest that he couldn't close his mouth and
 ended up destroying his entire dynasty
 via ift.tt
 neeetsocks
 thats just how spaniards be
 whittneydoll
 hey lil mama lemme whisper in ya ear
 friendly-neighborhood-patriarch
 the monumental ugliness of El Hechizado always
 astonishes me
 nunyabizni
 The Hapsburg's were a unique bunch weren't they
 nobodys-favorite-machinist
 The Ancestry of King Charles II of Spain
 (1661-1700)
 Philip of Castile
 (1478-1505)
 Joanna of Castile
 (1479-1555)
 Charles V. Holy
 Roman Emperor
 (1500-58)
 Isabella of
 Portugal
 (1503-39)
 Isabella of
 Burgundy
 (1501-26
 Anna of Bohemia
 and Hungary
 (1503-47
 Ferdinand I, Holy
 Roman Emperor
 (1503-64)
 Christian I
 of Denmark
 (1481-1559)
 Philip
 of Spain
 (1527-96)
 Christina of
 Denmark
 (1522-90)
 Anne of Albert V, Duke
 Habsburg of Bavaria
 (1528-90) (1528-79)
 Mana of
 Spain
 (1528-1603)
 Charles
 of Austria
 (1540-90)
 Maximillan II, Holy
 Roman Emperor
 (1527-76)
 Francis 1, Duke
 of Lorraine
 (1517-45
 Anne of
 Austria
 (1549-80)
 Maria Anna
 of Bavaria
 (1551-1608)
 Renata of
 Lorraine
 (1544-1602)
 William V, Duke
 of Bavaria
 (1548-1626)
 Margarita of
 Austria
 (1584-1611)
 Philip I
 of Spain
 (1578-1621)
 Maria Anna
 of Bavaria
 Ferdinand II, Holy
 Roman Emperor
 (1578-1637)
 (1574-1616
 Maria Anna
 of Spain
 (1606-46
 Philip V
 of Spain
 (1605-65)
 Ferdinand III, Holy
 Roman Emperor
 (1608-57)
 Manana of
 Austria
 (1634-96
 Charles l of Spain
 (1661-1700)
 His family tree was a fucking Christmas wreath.
 his body "did not contain a single drop of blood
 his heart was the size of a peppercorn
 short
 lame, epileptic
 senile
 his lungs corroded:
 his intestines rotten and
 gangrenous;
 completely bald before 35
 he had a single testicle,
 black as coal,
 always on the verge of death,
 he
 repeatedly bafled Christendom by
 continuing to
 live
 his head was ul fwater
 In case you wanted to know what his coroner
 thought of him.
Spanish History: 30 Times Tumblr Accidentally Taught Me Something While Making Me Laugh

Spanish History: 30 Times Tumblr Accidentally Taught Me Something While Making Me Laugh

Beer, Drunk, and Friends: ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK... I tried to steal a large, expensive bottle of beer from a house I cleverly hid it by stuffing it into my pants. party I was attending. I knew there was only one thing I could do to make this right. But as I was saying goodbye... The bottle fell out and shattered on the ground. 0 SNASH T ran the hell away. Collegelumon ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK... CollegeHumor I went online and became an ordained minister. This is the number one best idea. QUIKMINISTER.BIZ "Twice as holy for half the price!" SIGN UP TODAY! So now, when you sneeze, and I say "bless you"... It secretly means so much more. ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK... I started doing magic tricks for all of the employees at a bar. Whether they wanted to see them or not. Whassat behind yer ear...? Ish... thish yer card? uh, yeah actually! It's a shot! A few months later, I went back to that bar, assuming that by now no one would remember my embarrasing magic show. But the bouncer recognized me... Yeah, you're the guy with all the magic tricks, right? Hey pal, don'tIknow you from somewhere? well I've got one say to you... thing to WE STILL TALK THAT WAS SO AWESOME! ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME! CollegeHumor ...He was a big fan. ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK... I got super nauseous while I was riding in the car with friends so I barfed out the window, all over everyone in the back seat... ...and directly onto the windshield of the police car behind us. We got pulled over, and everyone in the car got a ticket... SPLAT!! CollegeHumon ...except for me, because I was the only one with my seatbelt on. madamebomb: pr1nceshawn: One time, when I was drunk… THAT LAST ONE NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME LAUGH
nsfw
Beer, Drunk, and Friends: ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK...
 I tried to steal a large, expensive
 bottle of beer from a house
 I cleverly hid it by stuffing
 it into my pants.
 party I was attending.
 I knew there was only
 one thing I could do
 to make this right.
 But as I was saying
 goodbye...
 The bottle fell out
 and shattered
 on the ground.
 0
 SNASH
 T ran the hell away.
 Collegelumon

 ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK...
 CollegeHumor
 I went online and became an
 ordained minister.
 This is the number
 one best idea.
 QUIKMINISTER.BIZ
 "Twice as holy for
 half the price!"
 SIGN UP TODAY!
 So now, when you sneeze, and I
 say "bless you"...
 It secretly means so much more.

 ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK...
 I started doing magic tricks for
 all of the employees at a bar.
 Whether they wanted to see
 them or not.
 Whassat behind yer ear...?
 Ish... thish yer card?
 uh, yeah actually!
 It's a shot!
 A few months later, I went back to that bar,
 assuming that by now no one would remember
 my embarrasing magic show.
 But the bouncer recognized me...
 Yeah, you're the guy with all
 the magic tricks, right?
 Hey pal, don'tIknow you from
 somewhere?
 well I've got one
 say to you...
 thing to
 WE STILL TALK
 THAT WAS SO AWESOME!
 ABOUT IT ALL
 THE TIME!
 CollegeHumor
 ...He was a
 big fan.

 ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK...
 I got super nauseous while I was
 riding in the car with friends
 so I barfed out the window, all
 over everyone in the back seat...
 ...and directly onto the
 windshield of the police car
 behind us.
 We got pulled over, and
 everyone in the car got a ticket...
 SPLAT!!
 CollegeHumon
 ...except for me, because I was the only one with my seatbelt on.
madamebomb:

pr1nceshawn:

One time, when I was drunk…

THAT LAST ONE NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME LAUGH

madamebomb: pr1nceshawn: One time, when I was drunk… THAT LAST ONE NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME LAUGH

Tumblr, youtube.com, and Blog: fabfrnkie: Off the Seton Path: The Ear Inn w/ My Chemical Romance’s Frank Iero | The Dan Patrick Show | 1/11/19
Tumblr, youtube.com, and Blog: fabfrnkie:

Off the Seton Path: The Ear Inn w/ My Chemical Romance’s Frank Iero | The Dan Patrick Show | 1/11/19

fabfrnkie: Off the Seton Path: The Ear Inn w/ My Chemical Romance’s Frank Iero | The Dan Patrick Show | 1/11/19

Advice, Alive, and Ass: English Pronunciation If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90 % of the native English speakers in the world. After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he'd prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud. Dearest creature in creation, Study English pronunciation. I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse. I will keep you, Suzy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy. Tear in eye, your dress will tear. So shall I! Oh hear my prayer. Just compare heart, beard, and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word, Sword and sward, retain and Britain. (Mind the latter, how it's written.) Now I surely will not plague you With such words as plaque and ague. But be careful how you speak: Say break and steak, but bleak and streak Cloven, oven, how and low, Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe. Hear me say, devoid of trickery, Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore, Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles, Exiles, similes, and reviles; Scholar, vicar, and cigar, Solar, mica, war and far; One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel; Gertrude, German, wind and mind, Scene, Melpomene, mankind. Billet does not rhyme with ballet, Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. Blood and flood are not like food, Nor is mould like should and would. Viscous, viscount, load and broad, Toward, to forward, to reward. And your pronunciation's OK When you correctly say croquet, Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve, Friend and fiend, alive and live. Ivy, privy, famous; clamour And enamour rhyme with hammer. River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb, Doll and roll and some and home. Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour. Souls but foul, haunt but aunt Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant, Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger, And then singer, ginger, linger, Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge, Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age. Query does not rhyme with very, Nor does fury sound like bury. Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth. Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath. Though the differences seem little, We say actual but victual. Refer does not rhyme with deafer. FeOffer does, and zephyr, heifer. Mint, pint, senate and sedate; Dull, bull, and George ate late. Scenic, Arabic, Pacific, Science, conscience, scientific Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven. We say hallowed, but allowed, People, leopard, towed, but vowed. Mark the differences, moreover, Between mover, cover, clover; Leeches,breeches, wise, precise Chalice, but police and lice; Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label. Petal, panel, and canal, Wait, surp Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair, Senator, spectator, mayor. Tour, but our and succour, four. Gas, alas, and Arkansas. Sea, idea, Korea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria. Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean. Doctrine, turpentine, marine. Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion and battalion. plait, promise, pal. Sally with ally, yea, ye, Eye,I, ay, aye, whey, and key. Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver. Heron, granary, canary. Crevice and device and aerie. Face, but preface, not efface. Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bas. Large, but target, gin, give, verging, Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging. Ear, but earn and wear and tear Do not rhyme with here but ere. Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen, Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk, Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work. Pronunciation (think of Psyche!) Is a paling stout and spikey? Won't it make you lose your wits, Writing groats and saying grits? It's a dark abyss or tunnel: Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale, Islington and Isle of Wight, Housewife, verdict and indict. Finally, which rhymes with enough, Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough? Hiccough has the sound of cup. My advice is to give up!!! you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com lolzandtrollz: Excellent English Pronunciation Poem
Advice, Alive, and Ass: English Pronunciation
 If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will
 be speaking English better than 90 % of the native English speakers
 in the world.
 After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he'd prefer six months of
 hard labour to reading six lines aloud.
 Dearest creature in creation,
 Study English pronunciation.
 I will teach you in my verse
 Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
 I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
 Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
 Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
 So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
 Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
 Dies and diet, lord and word,
 Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
 (Mind the latter, how it's written.)
 Now I surely will not plague you
 With such words as plaque and ague.
 But be careful how you speak:
 Say break and steak, but bleak and streak
 Cloven, oven, how and low,
 Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
 Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
 Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
 Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
 Exiles, similes, and reviles;
 Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
 Solar, mica, war and far;
 One, anemone, Balmoral,
 Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
 Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
 Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
 Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
 Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
 Blood and flood are not like food,
 Nor is mould like should and would.
 Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
 Toward, to forward, to reward.
 And your pronunciation's OK
 When you correctly say croquet,
 Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
 Friend and fiend, alive and live.
 Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
 And enamour rhyme with hammer.
 River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
 Doll and roll and some and home.
 Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
 Neither does devour with clangour.
 Souls but foul, haunt but aunt
 Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
 Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
 And then singer, ginger, linger,
 Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
 Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
 Query does not rhyme with very,
 Nor does fury sound like bury.
 Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
 Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
 Though the differences seem little,
 We say actual but victual.
 Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
 FeOffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
 Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
 Dull, bull, and George ate late.
 Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
 Science, conscience, scientific
 Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
 Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
 We say hallowed, but allowed,
 People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
 Mark the differences, moreover,
 Between mover, cover, clover;
 Leeches,breeches, wise, precise
 Chalice, but police and lice;
 Camel, constable, unstable,
 Principle, disciple, label.
 Petal, panel, and canal,
 Wait, surp
 Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
 Senator, spectator, mayor.
 Tour, but our and succour, four.
 Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
 Sea, idea, Korea, area,
 Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
 Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
 Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
 Compare alien with Italian,
 Dandelion and battalion.
 plait, promise, pal.
 Sally with ally, yea, ye,
 Eye,I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
 Say aver, but ever, fever,
 Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
 Heron, granary, canary.
 Crevice and device and aerie.
 Face, but preface, not efface.
 Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bas.
 Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
 Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
 Ear, but earn and wear and tear
 Do not rhyme with here but ere.
 Seven is right, but so is even,
 Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
 Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
 Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
 Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
 Is a paling stout and spikey?
 Won't it make you lose your wits,
 Writing groats and saying grits?
 It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
 Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
 Islington and Isle of Wight,
 Housewife, verdict and indict.
 Finally, which rhymes with enough,
 Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
 Hiccough has the sound of cup.
 My advice is to give up!!!
 you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com
lolzandtrollz:

Excellent English Pronunciation Poem

lolzandtrollz: Excellent English Pronunciation Poem

Cute, Family, and Friends: vergeangst: cute-aesthetics-things: Unique Glowing Dragon Ear Cuff Clip. Unique and Stylish! The perfect Gift for your friends and family! => GET YOURS HERE <= That looks,,, so cool,,,
Cute, Family, and Friends: vergeangst:
cute-aesthetics-things:

Unique Glowing Dragon Ear Cuff Clip. Unique and Stylish! The perfect Gift for your friends and family!
=> GET YOURS HERE <=


That looks,,, so cool,,,

vergeangst: cute-aesthetics-things: Unique Glowing Dragon Ear Cuff Clip. Unique and Stylish! The perfect Gift for your friends and family! ...