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Drew Carey: Wendy Williams is the queen of trashy. She made a terrible joke about Drew Carey’s ex-fiancé dying.
Drew Carey: Wendy Williams is the queen of trashy. She made a terrible joke about Drew Carey’s ex-fiancé dying.

Wendy Williams is the queen of trashy. She made a terrible joke about Drew Carey’s ex-fiancé dying.

Drew Carey: (1998) Whose Line is it Anyway host Drew Carey signs 50 million dollar deal to sit at table and read cards
Drew Carey: (1998) Whose Line is it Anyway host Drew Carey signs 50 million dollar deal to sit at table and read cards

(1998) Whose Line is it Anyway host Drew Carey signs 50 million dollar deal to sit at table and read cards

Drew Carey: I have been drunk for 3 straight days. am still pretty hammered and I stopped drinking sometime around 9:00am. Well, let me start from the top I guess. So I went down to the Walmart the other day cause I am sick of my ass being ridden like Tijuana whore about not having a job and shit. Don't get me wrong, I can provide, but my unemployment is running out soon, so whatever. Anyway, I went down to the fuckin Walmart and applied for a job. I figured it was the best place since it's where I buy most of my beer and bullets or whatever and employee discounts are sweet. Actually, fuck this... I filled out the application on some computer terminal for retards and I'm waiting for them to call me back. Fuck, yeah I am still pretty drunk. Tammy has been out of town the past few days with the kid, she went to visit her parents in Barstow for Independence day, which is good because that fucking kid can't stay out of trouble. The day before they left I caught him jacking off to the Drew Carey Show. I don't know what that means, and I don't want to... But I swear to God, I will never watch Whose Line is it Anyway with him ever again. Onto why I am drunk: While Tammy and the kid were celebrating Independence day out with her tweaker ass brother and drunk dad Lionel and I were making the most of Drunkapendence day. Ever since we were 12, Lionel would break into my bedroom window with a flathead screwdriver with a beer bong and a 40 of Mickeys. As I slept he would tip toe over to my bed as I slept, place the beer bong into my mouth and proceed to dump the entire bottle down my throat. If I didn't throw up any of it Lionel would supply the alcohol, which was a much loftier task at 12 than now.... Actually it wasn't, his grandma was a fucking drunk and always kept a case of Drambuie. So in keeping with tradition, on July 4th Lionel blasted me with malt liquor, I threw up, and I bought. After about noon on the 4th my memories are fragmented, I'll tell you what I remember. I got kicked out of Leroy's Tavern for undoing my pants and humping the jukebox during "Hell is For Children" I climbed on top of the roof at Don Castro High and threw firecrackers at the night janitors Tremember arguing with a trucker about how much better "Hanoi Rocks" were compared to "Scorpions" picked up a vagrant in the Camero and then threw him out on a desolate road because he wouldn't even sing the chorus to "Lick It Up" with me. I phoned in a bomb threat into the English consulate because I thoughtI remembered having an uncle in the IRA. pissed myself a lot. This morning I woke up with my foot in the cat box at Lionel's. I need to lay down, fuck this. al #drunk #fourth of july #4th of july "I've been drunk for 3 days straight"
Drew Carey: I have been drunk for 3
 straight days.
 am still pretty hammered and I stopped
 drinking sometime around 9:00am. Well, let me
 start from the top I guess.
 So I went down to the Walmart the other day
 cause I am sick of my ass being ridden like
 Tijuana whore about not having a job and
 shit. Don't get me wrong, I can provide, but
 my unemployment is running out soon, so
 whatever. Anyway, I went down to the fuckin
 Walmart and applied for a job. I figured it was
 the best place since it's where I buy most of
 my beer and bullets or whatever and employee
 discounts are sweet. Actually, fuck this... I
 filled out the application on some computer
 terminal for retards and I'm waiting for them
 to call me back.
 Fuck, yeah I am still pretty drunk.
 Tammy has been out of town the past few
 days with the kid, she went to visit her parents
 in Barstow for Independence day, which is
 good because that fucking kid can't stay out
 of trouble. The day before they left I caught
 him jacking off to the Drew Carey Show. I don't
 know what that means, and I don't want to...
 But I swear to God, I will never watch Whose
 Line is it Anyway with him ever again.
 Onto why I am drunk:
 While Tammy and the kid were celebrating
 Independence day out with her tweaker ass
 brother and drunk dad Lionel and I were
 making the most of Drunkapendence day. Ever
 since we were 12, Lionel would break into my
 bedroom window with a flathead screwdriver
 with a beer bong and a 40 of Mickeys. As
 I slept he would tip toe over to my bed as I
 slept, place the beer bong into my mouth and
 proceed to dump the entire bottle down my
 throat. If I didn't throw up any of it Lionel would
 supply the alcohol, which was a much loftier
 task at 12 than now.... Actually it wasn't, his
 grandma was a fucking drunk and always kept
 a case of Drambuie.
 So in keeping with tradition, on July 4th
 Lionel blasted me with malt liquor, I threw
 up, and I bought. After about noon on the
 4th my memories are fragmented, I'll tell you
 what I remember.
 I got kicked out of Leroy's Tavern for undoing
 my pants and humping the jukebox during
 "Hell is For Children"
 I climbed on top of the roof at Don Castro High
 and threw firecrackers at the night janitors
 Tremember arguing with a trucker about how
 much better "Hanoi Rocks" were compared
 to "Scorpions"
 picked up a vagrant in the Camero and then
 threw him out on a desolate road because
 he wouldn't even sing the chorus to "Lick
 It Up" with me.
 I phoned in a bomb threat into the English
 consulate because I thoughtI remembered
 having an uncle in the IRA.
 pissed myself a lot.
 This morning I woke up with my foot in the
 cat box at Lionel's.
 I need to lay down, fuck this.
 al
 #drunk #fourth of july #4th of july
"I've been drunk for 3 days straight"

"I've been drunk for 3 days straight"

Drew Carey: EARS Drew Carey “quickly” becoming Bob Barker
Drew Carey: EARS
Drew Carey “quickly” becoming Bob Barker

Drew Carey “quickly” becoming Bob Barker