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Ass, Bitch, and Fucking: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN sO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH. NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITHA BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED of only they taught beauty class like this Best description of sugar scrub ever.
Ass, Bitch, and Fucking: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders
 ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN
 SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR
 NOTEPAD
 THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW
 YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I
 KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE
 FUCKERS
 YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT
 YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN
 THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM
 TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A
 NEWBORN
 sO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND
 SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND
 MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART
 OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL
 BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO
 SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL
 THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR
 MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU
 WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM
 SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.
 NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED
 PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITHA BUBBLE
 BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND
 SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS
 VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE
 NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND
 SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A
 HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER
 THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near
 your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really
 important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way
 its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR
 HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS
 WORKING
 NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU
 HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN
 EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN
 BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF
 BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE
 GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT
 WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF
 YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS
 CLASS DISMISSED
 of only they taught beauty class like this
Best description of sugar scrub ever.

Best description of sugar scrub ever.

Bad, Creepy, and Cute: i want! to sit! in a lap! and i want! to do they have to be attached I love your need to make everything cute sounds creepy I love that Well I's funny how you can make everything sound creepy/wrong but the things that you like Make this creepy: Skittles are very good it depends where you put them you challenged a god Make this creepy: An instrumental cover of a well-known song plays from another room. It starts slow rhythm inconsistent, like a child struggling with a hand-played music box. It is the unmistakable tune of Despacito, played on an old circus organ. You open your eyes slowly and squint up at a single, flickering bulb. Your head aches. How did you get here? The music throbs against the bathroom's crumbling tile walls. You are standing in front of a ceramic sink, the bowl chipped and yellowed with age. You have no memory of this place. The music speeds up. Your hands are stained with something dark and rotting. A strange taste lingers in your mouth. How did you get here? You lean towards the mirror. Your face is haggard, your eyes bloodshot. Your reflection leans forward and whispers, "Despacito can you do llike wearing glasses Most people have never seen me without my glasses. I wear them all the time. All day, at home, in bed, even in the bath sometimes. I pretty much only take them off to shower or sleep. And even then I keep them within arm's reach. Igot my first pair in middle school, and it changed my life. I've switched styles plenty of times over the years, Right now I own three pairs, not including my backups and prescription sunglasses. I'm always paranoid about losing or breaking the ones I'm wearing. Most people would be surprised to find out my eyesight isn't even that bad. ReallyI only need corrective lenses for distance. I could manage most things without them. But I like wearing glasses Not that it can't be frustrating at times Eyeglasses are always getting smudged or dirty. I have to clean mine constantly. They're fragile, and can be scratched or bent. They fall off, go askew, steam up, and collect water drops when it rains. You have to keep a protective case on hand, and a soft cloth, and glass cleaner. They can be a lot of trouble. Honestly, contact lenses would be so much more convenient I did try to switch, once. I bought a box of those new disposable contacts. And it was great at first-just put them on and go. It was freeing. My eyes adjusted quickly-no itching or redness. It didn't even feel that strange not having something on my face for the first time in years. I really thought they were going to work. They didn't, in the end. Maybe it's something about the material, the difference between actual glass versus whatever polymer the contacts were made from. Maybe it has to do with lens shape, or distance. Maybe it's even just psychological-something to do with the fact that glasses just feel more protective. I had hoped now that I was older, perhaps I wouldn't need protection. Perhaps they wouldn't come after me the way they did when I was a child. I was wrong. Glasses stop the dark things from moving you see. If I don't wear them, I start seeing the things again. Out of the corners of my eyes. In the shadows of the room. Glasses are the only thing I've found that keeps them still. And that's important. Because you see, the things aren't just moving-theyre moving closer Gaud it's past 1 am please Sometimes I just think Gaud is moved by the full and pure force of f people's minds ucking up other why the flip do u think i spend so much time on this hellsite 57,107 notes They challenged a god. They will pay for their hubris
Bad, Creepy, and Cute: i want! to sit! in a lap! and i want! to
 do they have to be attached
 I love your need to make everything cute
 sounds creepy I love that
 Well I's funny how you can make
 everything sound creepy/wrong but the
 things that you like
 Make this creepy:
 Skittles are very good
 it depends where you put them
 you challenged a god
 Make this creepy:
 An instrumental cover of a well-known song
 plays from another room. It starts slow
 rhythm inconsistent, like a child struggling
 with a hand-played music box. It is the
 unmistakable tune of Despacito, played on an
 old circus organ. You open your eyes slowly
 and squint up at a single, flickering bulb. Your
 head aches. How did you get here?
 The music throbs against the bathroom's
 crumbling tile walls. You are standing in
 front of a ceramic sink, the bowl chipped and
 yellowed with age. You have no memory of
 this place. The music speeds up. Your hands
 are stained with something dark and rotting.
 A strange taste lingers in your mouth. How
 did you get here?
 You lean towards the mirror. Your face is
 haggard, your eyes bloodshot.
 Your reflection leans forward and
 whispers, "Despacito
 can you do
 llike wearing glasses
 Most people have never seen me without my
 glasses. I wear them all the time. All day, at
 home, in bed, even in the bath sometimes.
 I pretty much only take them off to shower
 or sleep. And even then I keep them within
 arm's reach.
 Igot my first pair in middle school, and it
 changed my life. I've switched styles plenty
 of times over the years, Right now I own
 three pairs, not including my backups and
 prescription sunglasses. I'm always paranoid
 about losing or breaking the ones I'm wearing.
 Most people would be surprised to find out
 my eyesight isn't even that bad. ReallyI only
 need corrective lenses for distance. I could
 manage most things without them. But I
 like wearing glasses
 Not that it can't be frustrating at times
 Eyeglasses are always getting smudged or
 dirty. I have to clean mine constantly. They're
 fragile, and can be scratched or bent. They
 fall off, go askew, steam up, and collect
 water drops when it rains. You have to keep a
 protective case on hand, and a soft cloth, and
 glass cleaner. They can be a lot of trouble.
 Honestly, contact lenses would be so much
 more convenient
 I did try to switch, once. I bought a box of
 those new disposable contacts. And it was
 great at first-just put them on and go. It was
 freeing. My eyes adjusted quickly-no itching
 or redness. It didn't even feel that strange
 not having something on my face for the
 first time in years.
 I really thought they were going to work. They
 didn't, in the end. Maybe it's something about
 the material, the difference between actual
 glass versus whatever polymer the contacts
 were made from. Maybe it has to do with
 lens shape, or distance. Maybe it's even just
 psychological-something to do with the fact
 that glasses just feel more protective. I had
 hoped now that I was older, perhaps I wouldn't
 need protection. Perhaps they wouldn't
 come after me the way they did when I was
 a child. I was wrong.
 Glasses stop the dark things from moving
 you see. If I don't wear them, I start seeing the
 things again. Out of the corners of my eyes.
 In the shadows of the room. Glasses are the
 only thing I've found that keeps them still.
 And that's important. Because you see,
 the things aren't just moving-theyre
 moving closer
 Gaud it's past 1 am please
 Sometimes I just think Gaud is moved by
 the full and pure force of f
 people's minds
 ucking up other
 why the flip do u think i spend so much
 time on this hellsite
 57,107 notes
They challenged a god. They will pay for their hubris

They challenged a god. They will pay for their hubris

Candy, Charlie, and Dad: karik evayna Violet Beauregarde should've won Wonka's chocolate factory Have I watched the movie in the last decade or more? No. Do I have iron clad evidence to support my argument? Yes. 1. She's the most knowledgeable about candy She's committed to it, and knows her stuff. When Wonka holds up a little yellow piece across the room, she recognizes it immediately. She was able to switch to candy bars for the sake of the contest, so we know she has personal discipline and is goal oriented. Also, two major projects play directly into her strong suits: the 3-course- meal gum that Wonka failed to make safe (gum) and the neverending gobstopper (longevity) 2. She's the most fit to run a business. Violet is competitive, determined, hard working, and willing to take risks. Her father is a small town car salesman and politician, so she could easily pick up knowledge and support from him. (Veruca's dad is also a business man, and in a compatible market (nuts), but it's made very clear that Veruca has no respect or knowledge of business practices or hard work.) 3. Shes the most sympathetic to the Oompa Loompas. She critiques Veruca when Veruca demands to buy one. More importantly, Wonka has been testing the 3-course-meal gum that always goes wrong' on Oompa Loompas while he presumably just watches. Violet is ready to put herself on the front line, instead of treating the Oompa Loompas as disposable, and would therefore be a better boss. 4. Her personality flaw' is the most fitting for the company. In the moralizing Oompa Loompa song, they just say gum is pretty cool, but it's not socially acceptable to chew it all day. The thing is, we already know that she can stop if she wants, because she already did that to win the golden ticket. And yeah, she is defensive about the perceived impoliteness of her hobby (like when her mother tries to shame her about her habit during a televised interview) but the obsession with candy and neglect of social norms is EXACTLY what Wonka is all about This is on brand. 5. Her misstep in the factory is reasonable. Wonka shows everyone a candy he's very proud of. Violet is like "oh sick, that's gum, my special interest." Wonka is then pulls a "WRONG! It's amazing guml So in the very moments before she takes the gum Wonka has mislead her just to belittle her. So when he's like I wouldn't do that" why should she give a shit what he has to say? She's not like Charlie over here who's al Sure Gramps, let's stay behind while the tour leaves and secretly drink this thing that has been explicitly stated to fill you with gas and is too powerful for safe consumption, oh and also I just saw what happened to Violet so I actually KNOW what this stuff can be capable of" Also, Violet is not selfish about her experience, she tells everyone what she's tasting and feeling, and everyone is eager to hear it. Taking a personal risk to share knowledge with everyone. Violet is Prometheus: fact. So Augustus contaminates the chocolate river. Charlie sneaks around and contaminates the vent walls. Veruca destroys and disrupts the workspace. Mike knows exactly what will happen to him and transports/shrinks himself deliberately. Violet had no idea what the gum could potentially do to her, and caused no harm to anyone or anything but herself Lastly: Can you imagine Charlie filling Wonka's shoes? That passive, naive boy? Violet is already basically Wonka. She's passionate sarcastic, candy-obsessed, free thinking, and a total firecracker. She's even better than Wonka, because she doesn't endanger others. Violet should've been picked to inherit the chocolate factory. Source: evayna #charlie and the chocolate factory 123,693 notes Blueberry Boss
Candy, Charlie, and Dad: karik
 evayna
 Violet Beauregarde
 should've won Wonka's
 chocolate factory
 Have I watched the movie in the last decade
 or more? No.
 Do I have iron clad evidence to support my
 argument? Yes.
 1. She's the most knowledgeable about candy
 She's committed to it, and knows her stuff. When
 Wonka holds up a little yellow piece across the
 room, she recognizes it immediately. She was
 able to switch to candy bars for the sake of the
 contest, so we know she has personal discipline
 and is goal oriented. Also, two major projects
 play directly into her strong suits: the 3-course-
 meal gum that Wonka failed to make safe (gum)
 and the neverending gobstopper (longevity)
 2. She's the most fit to run a business. Violet
 is competitive, determined, hard working, and
 willing to take risks. Her father is a small town
 car salesman and politician, so she could easily
 pick up knowledge and support from him.
 (Veruca's dad is also a business man, and in
 a compatible market (nuts), but it's made very
 clear that Veruca has no respect or knowledge of
 business practices or hard work.)
 3. Shes the most sympathetic to the Oompa
 Loompas. She critiques Veruca when Veruca
 demands to buy one. More importantly, Wonka
 has been testing the 3-course-meal gum that
 always goes wrong' on Oompa Loompas while
 he presumably just watches. Violet is ready to
 put herself on the front line, instead of treating
 the Oompa Loompas as disposable, and would
 therefore be a better boss.
 4. Her personality flaw' is the most fitting for
 the company. In the moralizing Oompa Loompa
 song, they just say gum is pretty cool, but it's
 not socially acceptable to chew it all day. The
 thing is, we already know that she can stop if
 she wants, because she already did that to win
 the golden ticket. And yeah, she is defensive
 about the perceived impoliteness of her hobby
 (like when her mother tries to shame her about
 her habit during a televised interview) but the
 obsession with candy and neglect of social
 norms is EXACTLY what Wonka is all about
 This is on brand.
 5. Her misstep in the factory is reasonable.
 Wonka shows everyone a candy he's very proud
 of. Violet is like "oh sick, that's gum, my special
 interest." Wonka is then pulls a "WRONG! It's
 amazing guml So in the very moments before
 she takes the gum Wonka has mislead her just
 to belittle her. So when he's like I wouldn't do
 that" why should she give a shit what he has to
 say? She's not like Charlie over here who's al
 Sure Gramps, let's stay behind while the tour
 leaves and secretly drink this thing that has been
 explicitly stated to fill you with gas and is too
 powerful for safe consumption, oh and also I
 just saw what happened to Violet so I actually
 KNOW what this stuff can be capable of" Also,
 Violet is not selfish about her experience, she
 tells everyone what she's tasting and feeling, and
 everyone is eager to hear it. Taking a personal
 risk to share knowledge with everyone. Violet
 is Prometheus: fact.
 So Augustus contaminates the chocolate
 river. Charlie sneaks around and contaminates
 the vent walls. Veruca destroys and disrupts
 the workspace. Mike knows exactly what will
 happen to him and transports/shrinks himself
 deliberately. Violet had no idea what the gum
 could potentially do to her, and caused no harm
 to anyone or anything but herself
 Lastly: Can you imagine Charlie filling Wonka's
 shoes? That passive, naive boy? Violet is
 already basically Wonka. She's passionate
 sarcastic, candy-obsessed, free thinking, and a
 total firecracker. She's even better than Wonka,
 because she doesn't endanger others.
 Violet should've been picked to inherit the
 chocolate factory.
 Source: evayna
 #charlie and the chocolate factory
 123,693 notes
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Blueberry Boss