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Cars, Children, and Club: 20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 1. 2. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In". 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds". 6. 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy". 8. Don't use any punctuation. 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go". 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme. 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM Scream "I Won! I Won!" 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!" 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." 20. Suck in some helium from a balloon, walk behind someone and say "follow the yellow brick road" laughoutloud-club: Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
Cars, Children, and Club: 20 Ways To Maintain A
 Healthy Level Of Insanity
 At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car
 With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At
 Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
 1.
 2. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends
 You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're
 Not In The Mood.
 3.
 Every Time Someone Asks You To Do
 Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
 4.
 Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And
 Label it "In".
 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3
 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over
 Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to
 Espresso
 In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks,
 Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
 6.
 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In
 Accordance With The Prophecy".
 8. Don't use any punctuation.
 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than
 Walk.
 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out
 to eat, with a serious face.
 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is
 "To Go".
 12. Sing Along At The Opera.
 13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The
 Poems Don't Rhyme.
 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work
 Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
 15. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't
 Disguise Your Voice.
 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By
 Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM
 Scream "I Won! I Won!"
 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running
 Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For
 Your Lives! They're Loose!"
 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To
 The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let
 One Of You Go."
 20. Suck in some helium from a balloon, walk
 behind someone and say "follow the yellow
 brick road"
laughoutloud-club:

Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

laughoutloud-club: Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

Martin, Memes, and Verizon: keara hunter @HunterKeara Incase you were wondering why my uncle got kicked out of Walmart: l Verizon LTE 5:53 PM @-q 40% Verizon LTE 5:53 PM Grammy Grammy Fwd: Now I'm banned from Grammy 5. August 16: Looked right into the security camera in the fishing section and used it as a mirror while you picked your nose Walmart. I just received this email 1. July 3: You took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking. 09/18/2018 Dear Mr. Marshall 6. September 4: You went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out. Over the past two months you have caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have beern forced to ban you from the store. Complaints against you are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras. 2. July 10: You set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals. 3. July 23: You went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway. You are no longer aloud in the Brunswick Walmart and will immediately be asked to leave if you enter said premises! 1. July 3: You took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other 4. August 4: Moved a CAUTION WET FLOOR sign to a carpeted area. Tag Martin Store Manager Walmart Brunswick Store Text Message 01 4 Text Message Post 1238: what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever returned to Walmart? I returned a dead palm tree and they were cool with it
Martin, Memes, and Verizon: keara hunter @HunterKeara
 Incase you were wondering why my uncle
 got kicked out of Walmart:
 l Verizon LTE
 5:53 PM
 @-q 40%
 Verizon LTE
 5:53 PM
 Grammy
 Grammy
 Fwd: Now I'm banned from
 Grammy
 5. August 16: Looked right
 into the security camera in
 the fishing section and
 used it as a mirror while
 you picked your nose
 Walmart. I just received
 this email
 1. July 3: You took 24
 boxes of condoms and
 randomly put them in other
 people's carts when they
 weren't looking.
 09/18/2018
 Dear Mr. Marshall
 6. September 4: You went
 into a fitting room, shut the
 door, waited awhile, and
 then yelled very loudly
 Hey! There's no toilet
 paper in here.' One of the
 clerks passed out.
 Over the past two months
 you have caused quite a
 commotion in our store.
 We cannot tolerate this
 behavior and have beern
 forced to ban you from the
 store. Complaints against
 you are listed below and
 are documented by our
 video surveillance
 cameras.
 2. July 10: You set all the
 alarm clocks in
 Housewares to go off at 5
 minute intervals.
 3. July 23: You went to the
 Service Desk and tried to
 put a bag of M&Ms on
 layaway.
 You are no longer aloud in
 the Brunswick Walmart
 and will immediately be
 asked to leave if you enter
 said premises!
 1. July 3: You took 24
 boxes of condoms and
 randomly put them in other
 4. August 4: Moved a
 CAUTION WET FLOOR
 sign to a carpeted area.
 Tag Martin
 Store Manager
 Walmart Brunswick Store
 Text Message
 01 4 Text Message
Post 1238: what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever returned to Walmart? I returned a dead palm tree and they were cool with it

Post 1238: what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever returned to Walmart? I returned a dead palm tree and they were cool with it

Advice, Being Alone, and Anaconda: An Econ Teacher Gave His Senior Highschool Students His Personal List Of Wisest Words..And They Make A Lot Of Sense. 1 There are plenty of ways to enter a pool The stairs is not one of them 2 Never cancel dinner plans by text message. 3. Don't knock it till you try it 4. a stree performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck 5 Always use we when referring to your home 6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it. 7. Don't underestimate free throws in a game of HORSE. 8 lust because you can doesn't mean you should 9. Don't dumb yourself down. 10 You only get one chance to notice new hairout. 11 If you're staying more than one night, unpack 12. Never park in front of a bar 13. Expect the seat in front of you to redine. Prepare 14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first cer, and first 15. Hold your heroes to a high standard. 17 Never lie to your doctor 18 All guns are 19. Don't mention sunburns. Believe me, they know. 20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it Even if it's only once. 21 Take and TV once vacation of your cell phone, internet, year 22. Don't fill up on bread, no matter how good. 24 Don't linger in the doorway. in or out 25. If you choose to go in drag, don't sell yourself short. 26. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for 27 Never get your haircut the day of a special 28 Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth Ahways buy good shoes, tires and sheets. 29. Never eat unch at your desk If you can avoid it 30. When you're with new friends, don't just tak 31. Eat unch with the new kids 32. When traveling, keep your wits about you No 33. It's never too late for an apology. 34. Don't pose wth boore. It's unbecoming. 5. If you have the right of way, TAKE IT 36. You don't get to choose your own nickname. 37, When you marry someone, remember you marry 39. Under nocrcumstances should you ask ง woman 40. it'snot enough to be proud of your ancestry, ive up to t 41. Don't make a 42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet 44. Never glost 46. Make time for your mother on your birthday. It'sa special day for her too 47. When opening presents, no one lices &a good guesver 48. Sympathy Is a crutch Never take ล limp. 49, Give credit, Take biame 50. Suck it up every now and then. 51. Never be the last one in the pool 52. Don't stare. 53. Address everyone that carries a firearm 54. Stand up to bulies, You only have to do it once. 55. fyoul've made your point, stop talking 56. Admit it when you're wrong 7. it you offer to help don't quit until the job is done 58. Look people in the eye when you thank them 60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table. 61. Forgive yoursef for your mistakes. 62. Know at least one good joke. 63. Don't boo Even the ref is somebody's son one good meal 65, Leam to drive manual/stick shift. 66. Be cool to yourger kids. Reputations are built over 67. It's okay to po to the movies by yourself 68. Dance with your mother/Tather 69. Don't lose your cool. Especialy at work 0. Always thank the host 71. It you don't understand, ask before it's too late. 72. Know the size of your boyfriend girtriend's 73 There is nothing wrong with a plain t shirt. 74. De a good ästener. Don't just take your turn to 5. eep your word, 76. In colege always sit near the front. You'll stand our immediately and come grade time it will oome in handy. 7. Carry your mother's begs, She carried you for 9 78. Be pacient with arport security. They are just 79. Don't be the talker in a movie. 80. The oppesite svex ikes people who shower. 81. You are what you da. Nat what you say 82. Learn to change tire 83. Be kind Everyone has a hard fight ahead 84. An hour with grandparents is time we spent. Ask for advice when you need it Don't itter 86, tf you have ฮ sister, get to know her 87. You won't always be the strongest or fastest. But you can't be the toughest 89. Duy the orange properties in Monopoly 90. Make the littie things count. 91 92. There is a fine line between loaking suitry and slutty. Find it 93. 94. You're never too old to need your Mom. Ladies, 2 you make the decision to wee hees on the first dste commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut about how much your feet kil 96. Your dance moves might not be the best. but i promise making a fool of yourself is more fun than sitting on the bench alone 99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime 100. If you HAVE to fight, punch first and punch hard. epicjohndoe: Wise Words From A Smart Teacher
Advice, Being Alone, and Anaconda: An Econ Teacher Gave His Senior
 Highschool Students His Personal
 List Of Wisest Words..And They
 Make A Lot Of Sense.
 1 There are plenty of ways to enter a pool The stairs
 is not one of them
 2 Never cancel dinner plans by text message.
 3. Don't knock it till you try it
 4. a stree performer makes you stop walking, you
 owe him a buck
 5
 Always use we when referring to your home
 6.
 When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
 7.
 Don't underestimate free throws in a game of
 HORSE.
 8 lust because you can doesn't mean you should
 9. Don't dumb yourself down.
 10 You only get one chance to notice new
 hairout.
 11 If you're staying more than one night, unpack
 12. Never park in front of a bar
 13. Expect the seat in front of you to redine.
 Prepare
 14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first cer, and
 first
 15.
 Hold your heroes to a high standard.
 17 Never lie to your doctor
 18 All guns are
 19. Don't mention sunburns. Believe me, they
 know.
 20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it
 Even if it's only once.
 21
 Take
 and TV once
 vacation of your cell phone, internet,
 year
 22.
 Don't fill up on bread, no matter how good.
 24
 Don't linger in the doorway. in or out
 25.
 If you choose to go in drag, don't sell yourself
 short.
 26.
 If you want to know what makes you unique,
 sit for
 27 Never get your haircut the day of a
 special
 28 Be mindful of what comes between you and
 the Earth Ahways buy good shoes, tires and
 sheets.
 29. Never eat unch at your desk If you can avoid it
 30. When you're with new friends, don't just tak
 31. Eat unch with the new kids
 32. When traveling, keep your wits about you No
 33. It's never too late for an apology.
 34. Don't pose wth boore. It's unbecoming.
 5. If you have the right of way, TAKE IT
 36. You don't get to choose your own nickname.
 37, When you marry someone, remember you marry
 39.
 Under nocrcumstances should you ask ง woman
 40. it'snot enough to be proud of your ancestry, ive
 up to t
 41. Don't make a
 42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet
 44. Never glost
 46. Make time for your mother on your birthday. It'sa
 special day for her too
 47. When opening presents, no one lices &a good
 guesver
 48. Sympathy Is a crutch Never take ล limp.
 49, Give credit, Take biame
 50. Suck it up every now and then.
 51. Never be the last one in the pool
 52. Don't stare.
 53. Address everyone that carries a firearm
 54. Stand up to bulies, You only have to do it once.
 55. fyoul've made your point, stop talking
 56. Admit it when you're wrong
 7. it you offer to help don't quit until the job is done
 58. Look people in the eye when you thank them
 60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table.
 61. Forgive yoursef for your mistakes.
 62. Know at least one good joke.
 63. Don't boo Even the ref is somebody's son
 one good meal
 65,
 Leam to drive manual/stick shift.
 66. Be cool to yourger kids. Reputations are built over
 67. It's okay to po to the movies by yourself
 68. Dance with your mother/Tather
 69. Don't lose your cool. Especialy at work
 0. Always thank the host
 71. It you don't understand, ask before it's too late.
 72. Know the size of your boyfriend girtriend's
 73 There is nothing wrong with a plain t shirt.
 74. De a good ästener. Don't just take your turn to
 5. eep your word,
 76.
 In colege always sit near the front. You'll stand
 our immediately and come grade time it will oome in
 handy.
 7. Carry your mother's begs, She carried you for 9
 78. Be pacient with arport security. They are just
 79. Don't be the talker in a movie.
 80. The oppesite svex ikes people who shower.
 81. You are what you da. Nat what you say
 82. Learn to change tire
 83. Be kind Everyone has a hard fight ahead
 84.
 An hour with grandparents is time we
 spent. Ask for
 advice when you need it
 Don't itter
 86,
 tf you have ฮ sister, get to know her
 87. You won't always be the strongest or
 fastest. But you can't be the toughest
 89. Duy the orange properties in Monopoly
 90. Make the littie things count.
 91
 92. There is a fine line between loaking suitry
 and slutty. Find it
 93.
 94.
 You're never too old to need your Mom.
 Ladies,
 2 you make the decision to wee
 hees on the first dste commit to keeping
 them on and keeping your trap shut about
 how much your feet kil
 96.
 Your dance moves might not be the best.
 but i promise making a fool of yourself is
 more fun than sitting on the bench alone
 99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime
 100. If you HAVE to fight, punch first and
 punch hard.
epicjohndoe:

Wise Words From A Smart Teacher

epicjohndoe: Wise Words From A Smart Teacher

Bad, Baseball, and Desk: sandersstudies My sociology professor had a really good metaphor for privilege today. She didn't talk about race or gender or orientation or class, she talked about being left-handed. A left-handed person walks into most classrooms and immediately is made aware of their left-handedness - they have to sit in a left-handed seat, which restricts their choices of where to sit. If there are not enough left-handed seats, they will have to sit in a right-handed seat and be continuously aware of their left-handedness. (There are other examples like left-handed scissors or baseball mitts as well.) Meanwhile, right-handed people have much more choice about where to sit, and almost never have to think about their right-handedness. Does this mean right-handed people are bad? No Does it mean that we should replace all right-handed desks with left-handed desks? No But could we maybe use different desk styles that can accommodate everyone and makes it so nobody has limited options or constant awareness that they are different? Yes. Now think of this as a metaphor. For social class. For race. For ethnicity. For gender. For orientation. For anything else that sets us apart madamedraconis WHY DOESN'T THIS HAVE MORE NOTES? Sandersstudies Because I posted it about 90 seconds ago, calm down Source: sandersstudies 14,088 notes Credit u/snarlingdarling Should be given as a flyer. via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2NhPrWp
Bad, Baseball, and Desk: sandersstudies
 My sociology professor had a really good
 metaphor for privilege today. She didn't talk
 about race or gender or orientation or class,
 she talked about being left-handed.
 A left-handed person walks into most
 classrooms and immediately is made aware
 of their left-handedness - they have to sit in a
 left-handed seat, which restricts their choices
 of where to sit. If there are not enough
 left-handed seats, they will have to sit in a
 right-handed seat and be continuously aware
 of their left-handedness. (There are other
 examples like left-handed scissors or baseball
 mitts as well.)
 Meanwhile, right-handed people have
 much more choice about where to sit, and
 almost never have to think about their
 right-handedness.
 Does this mean right-handed people are bad?
 No
 Does it mean that we should replace all
 right-handed desks with left-handed desks?
 No
 But could we maybe use different desk styles
 that can accommodate everyone and makes
 it so nobody has limited options or constant
 awareness that they are different? Yes.
 Now think of this as a metaphor. For social
 class. For race. For ethnicity. For gender. For
 orientation. For anything else that sets us
 apart
 madamedraconis
 WHY DOESN'T THIS HAVE MORE NOTES?
 Sandersstudies
 Because I posted it about 90 seconds ago,
 calm down
 Source: sandersstudies
 14,088 notes
Credit u/snarlingdarling Should be given as a flyer. via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2NhPrWp

Credit u/snarlingdarling Should be given as a flyer. via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2NhPrWp

5 Am, Being Alone, and America: This is how I like to wake my good girl. (🎥: reddit u-din7) Look bruv some of y’all smart like y’all just gon be successful in life on the strength of being hella smart alone. But some of y’all ain’t smart. Actually y’all dumb (low key 😂). But u wanna know some bruv? U CAN STILL ABSOLUTELY KILL IT IN LIFE. “Smash wayment. U saying even if I’m dumb I could kill it in corporate America? How Sway? 🤔” I’m absolutely saying that. I got clients that will take your breath away with they intellect - hell one CEO I work with is a biomedical engineer. He ain’t een have to stunt on em like that! He coulda had a lil state school MBA! Nah. He a PhD in a field that ain’t een applicable! He could be negotiating pricing on a multi million $ agreement and disagree with u and then then heck around and slice ya ear off then make u a substitute synthetic ear in a Petri dish and reattach it like “bam - no love lost - just wanted to biomedically engineer u right quick - this ear is bionic and will let u hear perfectly bless up.” But nah on the other end of the spectrum is executives who are just hella dumb. Couldn’t write an email without typos if they had a gun to they head. But u know what they are, bruv? Always and without fail? EARLY 😂. Dumb people in corporate America early as HELL bruh. U know I love our armed services and got nothing but respect for them bruv but do u know why it’s so many former soldiers - marines - Air Force in corporate America bruv? Not bc they naturally smarter - they just early! If u at ya desk sending email at 7 am bruv u look authoritative. Sharp. U feel me? Dedicated. Hell I got one client she get to work at 6! And another one that get to work at 5. FIVE 👏 A 👏 M 👏. Now look I’m not saying u HAVE to be at work at 7 am. I’m just saying if u DO, people will perceive u as a BOSS - even if u literally braindead. U feel me? Trick: I get up to pray early then go back schleep but before I do, I reply to emails from overnight. That way people like “wow he up at 5 am damn.” Nah. I’m up to email y’all a$$es before snoozing 😂. But if y’all wanna assume then good 😊. Either get to work early or email early (like my dumb a$$) - may God bless all of u in ya careers. Bless up! 😂😂😂
5 Am, Being Alone, and America: This is how I like to wake my good girl.
(🎥: reddit u-din7) Look bruv some of y’all smart like y’all just gon be successful in life on the strength of being hella smart alone. But some of y’all ain’t smart. Actually y’all dumb (low key 😂). But u wanna know some bruv? U CAN STILL ABSOLUTELY KILL IT IN LIFE. “Smash wayment. U saying even if I’m dumb I could kill it in corporate America? How Sway? 🤔” I’m absolutely saying that. I got clients that will take your breath away with they intellect - hell one CEO I work with is a biomedical engineer. He ain’t een have to stunt on em like that! He coulda had a lil state school MBA! Nah. He a PhD in a field that ain’t een applicable! He could be negotiating pricing on a multi million $ agreement and disagree with u and then then heck around and slice ya ear off then make u a substitute synthetic ear in a Petri dish and reattach it like “bam - no love lost - just wanted to biomedically engineer u right quick - this ear is bionic and will let u hear perfectly bless up.” But nah on the other end of the spectrum is executives who are just hella dumb. Couldn’t write an email without typos if they had a gun to they head. But u know what they are, bruv? Always and without fail? EARLY 😂. Dumb people in corporate America early as HELL bruh. U know I love our armed services and got nothing but respect for them bruv but do u know why it’s so many former soldiers - marines - Air Force in corporate America bruv? Not bc they naturally smarter - they just early! If u at ya desk sending email at 7 am bruv u look authoritative. Sharp. U feel me? Dedicated. Hell I got one client she get to work at 6! And another one that get to work at 5. FIVE 👏 A 👏 M 👏. Now look I’m not saying u HAVE to be at work at 7 am. I’m just saying if u DO, people will perceive u as a BOSS - even if u literally braindead. U feel me? Trick: I get up to pray early then go back schleep but before I do, I reply to emails from overnight. That way people like “wow he up at 5 am damn.” Nah. I’m up to email y’all a$$es before snoozing 😂. But if y’all wanna assume then good 😊. Either get to work early or email early (like my dumb a$$) - may God bless all of u in ya careers. Bless up! 😂😂😂

(🎥: reddit u-din7) Look bruv some of y’all smart like y’all just gon be successful in life on the strength of being hella smart alone. But s...