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Could You Not: ballet-royale: midnight-spectrum-again: thesaltofcarthage: festivefeathers: safifonhasstrel: bundibird: jehovahhthickness: biggest-gaudiest-fish: lipsredasroses: mayothefirst: madamehearthwitch: thegrimmlovely: riskpig: endangeredslug: riskpig: teamseabreeze: recycled-soul: skywritingg: iloveyournudity: cuntsoloud-ishere: pizzaforpresident: This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!! This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes. WHAT? The thing about this? It’s in every pregnancy book I’ve read. WHAT????? Why is it in pregnancy books but not sex ed books? Because the men in charge only care about the health and safety of women in so far as it enables them to have babies. https://www.healthline.com/health/air-embolism#outlook Reblogging with a link because I thought this was a legit joke. Never heard it before. Like I knew you could kill a person by inserting air into a vein but still. WHAT THE FUCL I hate how I didn’t learn this in sex Ed AT ALL This is very true lol Yo what the f u c k not the normal stuff i’d reblog but, uh, this is kinda??? heckin???? important????? I feel like I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, but it’s definitely a thing. What the fuck I’m ace but here you guys go
Could You Not: ballet-royale:
midnight-spectrum-again:

thesaltofcarthage:

festivefeathers:

safifonhasstrel:

bundibird:

jehovahhthickness:

biggest-gaudiest-fish:


lipsredasroses:

mayothefirst:


madamehearthwitch:

thegrimmlovely:

riskpig:

endangeredslug:

riskpig:

teamseabreeze:

recycled-soul:

skywritingg:

iloveyournudity:

cuntsoloud-ishere:

pizzaforpresident:

This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!!




This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes.


WHAT?

The thing about this? It’s in every pregnancy book I’ve read.

WHAT?????


Why is it in pregnancy books but not sex ed books?

Because the men in charge only care about the health and safety of women in so far as it enables them to have babies.

https://www.healthline.com/health/air-embolism#outlook


Reblogging with a link because I thought this was a legit joke. Never heard it before. Like I knew you could kill a person by inserting air into a vein but still. 


WHAT THE FUCL I hate how I didn’t learn this in sex Ed AT ALL


This is very true lol 


Yo what the f u c k 






not the normal stuff i’d reblog but, uh, this is kinda??? heckin???? important????? 

I feel like I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, but it’s definitely a thing.



What the fuck



I’m ace but here you guys go

ballet-royale: midnight-spectrum-again: thesaltofcarthage: festivefeathers: safifonhasstrel: bundibird: jehovahhthickness: biggest-...

Could You Not: apricots-from-nara: There are no pictures i can find of the Avatar of Derketo and thats a crime because she;s like, half hot lady half skeleton. How could you not like that?
Could You Not: apricots-from-nara:

There are no pictures i can find of the Avatar of Derketo and thats a crime because she;s like, half hot lady half skeleton. How could you not like that?

apricots-from-nara: There are no pictures i can find of the Avatar of Derketo and thats a crime because she;s like, half hot lady half s...

Could You Not: lolzandtrollz: How Could You Not Love Me Too?
Could You Not: lolzandtrollz:

How Could You Not Love Me Too?

lolzandtrollz: How Could You Not Love Me Too?

Could You Not: zzdigital What if someone got bitten by a vampire, but didn't realize it. So then they go around and keep misidentifying all the symptoms, like Dude, you haven't gone o Yeah, last time I went out I got this wicked sunburn. outside in a whle Are you still up? Yeah, I started bing watching this show on Netilix. Dude, I'm seniously craving something right now. Like what? 1 dunno. Pizza rolls? adrlofthedead Why is it that you never come into my house unless l invite you? Um, it's called 'being polite ...? paullchu l tried cooking with garlic the other night and got this serious burn on my hand. I think Im allergic, but all I'm getting on Google is vampire bullshit. Dude can a mirror like... stop working or something? eepeoradar Dude, why do you keep posting pictures of the floor? Those are meant to be selfies, I guess my camera must be broken. Dude, I am all for you expressing your religious beliefs, but could you not wear your crucifox when I'm around? It really bugs me for some reason. steallng-your-wite Have you ever noticed how cute bats are? like really noticed? sweet lil balls of fluff with wings man. 1want to sleep in a coffin...ya kno, for like... aesthetic clpollakate What's with your thing about n MUST YOU KINKSHAME ME IN MY OWN HOME ecks lately? nightrhaln 1 looked up my symptoms on WebMD, and it says I have cancer This last addition made the reblog obligatory. This one wins. Souroe: zadigital 936,950 notes Why arent these hickeys going away?
Could You Not: zzdigital
 What if someone got bitten by a vampire, but didn't realize it. So then they go
 around and keep misidentifying all the symptoms, like
 Dude, you haven't gone o
 Yeah, last time I went out I got this wicked sunburn.
 outside in a whle
 Are you still up?
 Yeah, I started bing watching this show on Netilix.
 Dude, I'm seniously craving something right now.
 Like what?
 1 dunno. Pizza rolls?
 adrlofthedead
 Why is it that you never come into my house unless l invite you?
 Um, it's called 'being polite ...?
 paullchu
 l tried cooking with garlic the other night and got this serious burn on my hand. I
 think Im allergic, but all I'm getting on Google is vampire bullshit.
 Dude can a mirror like... stop working or something?
 eepeoradar
 Dude, why do you keep posting pictures of the floor?
 Those are meant to be selfies, I guess my camera must be broken.
 Dude, I am all for you expressing your religious beliefs, but could you not wear
 your crucifox when I'm around? It really bugs me for some reason.
 steallng-your-wite
 Have you ever noticed how cute bats are? like really noticed? sweet lil balls of
 fluff with wings man.
 1want to sleep in a coffin...ya kno, for like... aesthetic
 clpollakate
 What's with your thing about n
 MUST YOU KINKSHAME ME IN MY OWN HOME
 ecks lately?
 nightrhaln
 1 looked up my symptoms on WebMD, and it says I have cancer
 This last addition made the reblog obligatory. This one wins.
 Souroe: zadigital
 936,950 notes
Why arent these hickeys going away?

Why arent these hickeys going away?

Could You Not: Verizon LTE 1:12 AM @ 7058% omg-foreverfilledwithweird-posts navonneedsahug Follow zzdigital What if someone got bitten by a vampire, but didn't realize it. So then they go around and keep misidentifying all the symptoms, like "Dude, you haven't gone outside in a while." "Yeah, last time I went out I got this wicked sunburn." "Are you still up?" "Yeah, I started bing watching this show on Netflix." "Dude, I'm seriously craving something right now." "Like what?" "I dunno. Pizza rolls?" adriofthedead "Why is it that you never come into my house unless I invite you?" "Um, it's called 'being polite...?" paulichu "I tried cooking with garlic the other night and got this serious burn on my hand. I think I'm allergic, but all I'm getting on Google is vampire bullshit." samarajournal "Dude can a mirror like... stop working or something?" espeoradar Dude, why do you keep posting pictures of the floor?" "..Those are meant to be selfies, I guess my camera must be broken." "Dude, I am all for you expressing your religious beliefs, but could you not wear your crucifix when I'm around? It really bugs me for some reason." stealing-your-wife "Have you ever noticed how cute bat:s are? like really noticed? sweet lil balls of fluff with wings man." nickthepigeon "I want to sleep in a coffin...ya kno, for like... aesthetic" cipollakate "What's with your thing about necks lately?" "MUST YOU KINKSHAME ME IN MY OWN HOME" nightrhain "I looked up my symptoms on WebMD, and it says I have cancer." samwise-the-true-hero This last addition made the reblog obligatory. This one wins 935,331 notesD Tailor Automatic Screenshot Stitching Vampire?
Could You Not: Verizon LTE
 1:12 AM @ 7058%
 omg-foreverfilledwithweird-posts
 navonneedsahug Follow
 zzdigital
 What if someone got bitten by a
 vampire, but didn't realize it. So then
 they go around and keep misidentifying
 all the symptoms, like
 "Dude, you haven't gone outside in a
 while."
 "Yeah, last time I went out I got this
 wicked sunburn."
 "Are you still up?"
 "Yeah, I started bing watching this
 show on Netflix."
 "Dude, I'm seriously craving something
 right now."
 "Like what?"
 "I dunno. Pizza rolls?"
 adriofthedead
 "Why is it that you never come into my
 house unless I invite you?"
 "Um, it's called 'being polite...?"
 paulichu
 "I tried cooking with garlic the other
 night and got this serious burn on my
 hand. I think I'm allergic, but all I'm
 getting on Google is vampire bullshit."
 samarajournal
 "Dude can a mirror like... stop working
 or something?"
 espeoradar
 Dude, why do you keep posting
 pictures of the floor?"
 "..Those are meant to be selfies, I
 guess my camera must be broken."
 "Dude, I am all for you expressing your
 religious beliefs, but could you not wear
 your crucifix when I'm around? It really
 bugs me for some reason."
 stealing-your-wife
 "Have you ever noticed how cute bat:s
 are? like really noticed? sweet lil balls of
 fluff with wings man."
 nickthepigeon
 "I want to sleep in a coffin...ya kno, for
 like... aesthetic"
 cipollakate
 "What's with your thing about necks
 lately?"
 "MUST YOU KINKSHAME ME IN MY
 OWN HOME"
 nightrhain
 "I looked up my symptoms on WebMD,
 and it says I have cancer."
 samwise-the-true-hero
 This last addition made the reblog
 obligatory. This one wins
 935,331 notesD
 Tailor
 Automatic Screenshot Stitching
Vampire?

Vampire?

Could You Not: l Verizon 5:49 PM 0 * 42% whats-an-egg / safety-offcer-barto Salt and Pepper Diner is John Mulaney's funniest bit" is Xanax/Prostate Exam erasure and I will not stand for it officialqueer The overlooking of "The One Thing You Can't Replace" is a criminal act. jewishdragon LISTEN, I WAS JUST WATCHING JOHN MULANEY AND I RAISE YOU DUCKLINGS! bisexualgambit HOW COULD YOU NOT SAY DELTA AIRLINES???? kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd Bill Clinton Never Forgets A Bitch, Ever safety-officer-barto The responses to this post have been so amazing because it's reminded me, and I'm sure many others, of just how many hilarious bits John Mulaney has other than s&pd incendiarysongbird okay, but eighth graders doorstoplord could be a nursery awesomealfry being 12 years old on anotger continent is a great alibi starry-nightengale "Why buy the cow, question mark?" gadgethewolf THAT TALL CHILD LOOKS TERRIBLE apartmentofstabs And then. He ordered one black coffee for himself And kept driving spectralbarbhollano LOOK AT THAT HIGH WAISTED MAN, HE GOT FEMININE HIPS silly-slacker-person "We gon play jacks down at the soda fountain" NOBODY KNOWS WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT YOU IDIOT Y'know, how you talk to your grandma? ghettoinuyasha hello? HUSH bakvvas Eat assy buck a dick, and bell druugs mellowstarscape THEREISAHORSE LOOSE INTHE HOSTPITAL Source: safety-officer-barto 82,341 notes > anduinsholydick Tailor Automatic Screenshot Stitching I’m sorry but there is a Norwegian cruise liner leaving for Martinique and my plan is we both get very dressed up, including hats
Could You Not: l Verizon
 5:49 PM
 0 * 42%
 whats-an-egg
 /
 safety-offcer-barto
 Salt and Pepper Diner is John Mulaney's
 funniest bit" is Xanax/Prostate Exam erasure
 and I will not stand for it
 officialqueer
 The overlooking of "The One Thing You Can't
 Replace" is a criminal act.
 jewishdragon
 LISTEN, I WAS JUST WATCHING JOHN
 MULANEY AND I RAISE YOU
 DUCKLINGS!
 bisexualgambit
 HOW COULD YOU NOT SAY DELTA
 AIRLINES????
 kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd
 Bill Clinton Never
 Forgets A Bitch, Ever
 safety-officer-barto
 The responses to this post have been so
 amazing because it's reminded me, and I'm
 sure many others, of just how many hilarious
 bits John Mulaney has other than s&pd
 incendiarysongbird
 okay, but eighth graders
 doorstoplord
 could be a nursery
 awesomealfry
 being 12 years old on anotger continent is a
 great alibi
 starry-nightengale
 "Why buy the cow, question mark?"
 gadgethewolf
 THAT TALL CHILD LOOKS TERRIBLE
 apartmentofstabs
 And then. He ordered one black coffee for
 himself
 And kept driving
 spectralbarbhollano
 LOOK AT THAT HIGH WAISTED MAN, HE GOT
 FEMININE HIPS
 silly-slacker-person
 "We gon play jacks down at the soda fountain"
 NOBODY KNOWS WHAT YOU'RE TALKING
 ABOUT YOU IDIOT
 Y'know, how you talk to your grandma?
 ghettoinuyasha
 hello? HUSH
 bakvvas
 Eat assy buck a dick,
 and bell druugs
 mellowstarscape
 THEREISAHORSE
 LOOSE
 INTHE
 HOSTPITAL
 Source: safety-officer-barto
 82,341 notes >
 anduinsholydick
 Tailor
 Automatic Screenshot Stitching
I’m sorry but there is a Norwegian cruise liner leaving for Martinique and my plan is we both get very dressed up, including hats

I’m sorry but there is a Norwegian cruise liner leaving for Martinique and my plan is we both get very dressed up, including hats

Could You Not: When someone you hate is breathing Eww, could you not 😒 Follow @confessionsofablonde @confessionsofablonde @confessionsofablonde @confessionsofablonde
Could You Not: When someone you hate is
 breathing
Eww, could you not 😒 Follow @confessionsofablonde @confessionsofablonde @confessionsofablonde @confessionsofablonde

Eww, could you not 😒 Follow @confessionsofablonde @confessionsofablonde @confessionsofablonde @confessionsofablonde

Could You Not: Since November, more than two dozen women-of all ages, but mostly in their twenties-had approached me in restaurants, theaters, and stores to apologize for not voting or not doing more to help my campaign. I responded with forced smiles and tight nods. On one occasion, an older woman dragged her adult daughter by the arm to come talk to me and ordered her to apolo- gize for not voting-which she did, head bowed in contrition. I wanted to stare right in her eyes and say, "You didn't vote? How could you not vote?! You abdicated your responsibility as a citizen at the worst possible time! And now you want me to make you feel better?" Of course, I didn't say any of that. These people were looking for absolution that I just couldn't give. We all have to live with the consequences of our decisions. <p><a href="http://redbloodedamerica.tumblr.com/post/165278063702/quitefranklytv-salt-for-years-is-this-really" class="tumblr_blog">redbloodedamerica</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://quitefranklytv.tumblr.com/post/165277586244/salt-for-years" class="tumblr_blog">quitefranklytv</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Salt for years</p></blockquote> <p>Is this really from her book? There’s no way she’s this unintentionally honest and maladroit.</p> </blockquote> <p><a href="http://nypost.com/2017/09/12/hillary-opens-up-about-the-damn-emails-concession-in-new-book/">Looks like it’s real</a></p><p>I want to die. I didn’t think even Hillary was capable of such hilarious lack of self-awareness. “Forgive me Reverend Mother, for I have sinned.” I suppose now the girl will have to say 20 Hail Hillary’s and serve her next campaign as penance. </p>
Could You Not: Since November, more than two dozen women-of all ages, but mostly in
 their twenties-had approached me in restaurants, theaters, and stores to
 apologize for not voting or not doing more to help my campaign. I responded
 with forced smiles and tight nods. On one occasion, an older woman dragged
 her adult daughter by the arm to come talk to me and ordered her to apolo-
 gize for not voting-which she did, head bowed in contrition. I wanted to
 stare right in her eyes and say, "You didn't vote? How could you not vote?! You
 abdicated your responsibility as a citizen at the worst possible time! And now
 you want me to make you feel better?" Of course, I didn't say any of that.
 These people were looking for absolution that I just couldn't give. We all
 have to live with the consequences of our decisions.
<p><a href="http://redbloodedamerica.tumblr.com/post/165278063702/quitefranklytv-salt-for-years-is-this-really" class="tumblr_blog">redbloodedamerica</a>:</p><blockquote>
<p><a href="https://quitefranklytv.tumblr.com/post/165277586244/salt-for-years" class="tumblr_blog">quitefranklytv</a>:</p>
<blockquote><p>Salt for years</p></blockquote>
<p>Is this really from her book? There’s no way she’s this unintentionally honest and maladroit.</p>
</blockquote>
<p><a href="http://nypost.com/2017/09/12/hillary-opens-up-about-the-damn-emails-concession-in-new-book/">Looks like it’s real</a></p><p>I want to die. I didn’t think even Hillary was capable of such hilarious lack of self-awareness. “Forgive me Reverend Mother, for I have sinned.” I suppose now the girl will have to say 20 Hail Hillary’s and serve her next campaign as penance. </p>

<p><a href="http://redbloodedamerica.tumblr.com/post/165278063702/quitefranklytv-salt-for-years-is-this-really" class="tumblr_blog">redbl...