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Big Dick, Chill, and Church: ITT: Glorious Retards >be me mormonfag church boring as fuck not really that interested in going, its a cult, mostly do it for my family hate testimony week basically open mic day once a week at church people go up and are supposed to talk about how great god is or whatever, generally just talk about how great they are and what vacation they went on last literally just a big dick measuring contest new family moves into ward pretty unusual situation: single dad, downie kid. we learned way later that he accidentally got a girl pregnant, she wanted to abort downie, he said he'd raise the baby himself rather than see that happen. not sure if i agree with it, but gotta admit, that's honorable as fuck downies a good kid too, sweet as can be, not as dumb as you'd think anyway testimony week comes around, dreading it first guy goes up, starts talking about how he baptized a lot of people on his mission >am rolling my eyes in five dimensions when I heard downie roar from across the room "TEHTIMONEY WEEK IS FOHR TEHTIMONEYS! NOE!" room goes quiet, guy wraps up quickly, sits down people tell actual wholesome stuff, they fear the downie. no dick measuring with him around next week similar thing happens: woman goes up to talk about how much she loves her husband, and how he took the whole family on a trip to mexico recently Downie interrupts "TEHTIMONEY! WEEK! IS! FOHR! TEHTIMONEYS! NOE!" lady sits down, normal talking goes on, im officially borderline gay for downie later talking with my edgelord apostate friends, we all talk about how downie is the best thing to happen to this ward ever we find downie and thank him for keeping it real. his dad is super touched that we all stopped by, we all make sure to thank downie for his interruptions and tell him to keep it real we thought maybe his dad would be annoyed that we were encouraging this, but his dad was chill as could be 6.5 kB JPG 33 min. ago. Anonymous | 44806137 cont next week, Downey takes it up a notclh mormon services have two or three talks a servic, all done by volunteers, but the talks can suuuuuuck worst ones are when old people/newly returned missionaries are asked to talk and they ramble for an hour and a half old lady is going on and on about growing up in the great depression. we're all about to go insane when downie stands up YOU TAHK TOO LON, OTHER SPEACHERS NEED TO TAHK TOO lady wraps up we're all in fucking awe of this god among us anytime somebody rambles, or tries to humblebrag, downie calls them out its fucking amazing >church is still a cult but its actually kind of fun now with downie there me and my edgelord friends keep an eye on him, nobody fucks with our downie we get near the end of HS when downie has a heart attack we all visit him in the hospital. we fucking love him >he survived the heart attack, but he just may not have a whole lot of time left. the sunday, the dad announces that him and his son are going to be moving out of state. wants to show his son more of the world before he dies. me and my friends go to downies house to say goodbye, tell him we're going to miss him so much, testimoney week is going to turn back to shit with him gone downie asks if he can tell us a secret we say sure, you can tell us anything "Dah tole me wat to say all those times. >mfw his dad originally used his retarded son as a way to ignore social conventions and tell people to stfu, but wound up continuing to do it for years because he knew it was helping him have friends. >mfw when im not sure if his dad is an asshole or a genius >mfw I don't even care anymore, I still think fondly of that glorious downie bastard yelling at old ladies from the back of the chapel 1 REPLY Anon goes to church
Big Dick, Chill, and Church: ITT: Glorious Retards
 >be me
 mormonfag
 church boring as fuck
 not really that interested in going, its a cult, mostly do it for
 my family
 hate testimony week
 basically open mic day once a week at church
 people go up and are supposed to talk about how great
 god is or whatever, generally just talk about how great they
 are and what vacation they went on last
 literally just a big dick measuring contest
 new family moves into ward
 pretty unusual situation: single dad, downie kid. we learned
 way later that he accidentally got a girl pregnant, she
 wanted to abort downie, he said he'd raise the baby himself
 rather than see that happen.
 not sure if i agree with it, but gotta admit, that's honorable
 as fuck
 downies a good kid too, sweet as can be, not as dumb as
 you'd think
 anyway
 testimony week comes around, dreading it
 first guy goes up, starts talking about how he baptized a lot
 of people on his mission
 >am rolling my eyes in five dimensions when I heard downie
 roar from across the room
 "TEHTIMONEY WEEK IS FOHR TEHTIMONEYS! NOE!"
 room goes quiet, guy wraps up quickly, sits down
 people tell actual wholesome stuff, they fear the downie.
 no dick measuring with him around
 next week similar thing happens: woman goes up to talk
 about how much she loves her husband, and how he took
 the whole family on a trip to mexico recently
 Downie interrupts
 "TEHTIMONEY! WEEK! IS! FOHR! TEHTIMONEYS! NOE!"
 lady sits down, normal talking goes on, im officially
 borderline gay for downie
 later talking with my edgelord apostate friends, we all talk
 about how downie is the best thing to happen to this ward
 ever
 we find downie and thank him for keeping it real. his dad
 is super touched that we all stopped by, we all make sure
 to thank downie for his interruptions and tell him to keep it
 real
 we thought maybe his dad would be annoyed that we were
 encouraging this, but his dad was chill as could be
 6.5 kB JPG

 33 min. ago.
 Anonymous | 44806137
 cont
 next week, Downey takes it up a notclh
 mormon services have two or three talks a servic, all done by volunteers, but
 the talks can suuuuuuck
 worst ones are when old people/newly returned missionaries are asked to talk
 and they ramble for an hour and a half
 old lady is going on and on about growing up in the great depression. we're all
 about to go insane when downie stands up
 YOU TAHK TOO LON, OTHER SPEACHERS NEED TO TAHK TOO
 lady wraps up
 we're all in fucking awe of this god among us
 anytime somebody rambles, or tries to humblebrag, downie calls them out
 its fucking amazing
 >church is still a cult but its actually kind of fun now with downie there
 me and my edgelord friends keep an eye on him, nobody fucks with our downie
 we get near the end of HS when downie has a heart attack
 we all visit him in the hospital. we fucking love him
 >he survived the heart attack, but he just may not have a whole lot of time left.
 the sunday, the dad announces that him and his son are going to be moving out
 of state. wants to show his son more of the world before he dies.
 me and my friends go to downies house to say goodbye, tell him we're going to
 miss him so much, testimoney week is going to turn back to shit with him gone
 downie asks if he can tell us a secret
 we say sure, you can tell us anything
 "Dah tole me wat to say all those times.
 >mfw his dad originally used his retarded son as a way to ignore social
 conventions and tell people to stfu, but wound up continuing to do it for years
 because he knew it was helping him have friends.
 >mfw when im not sure if his dad is an asshole or a genius
 >mfw I don't even care anymore, I still think fondly of that glorious downie
 bastard yelling at old ladies from the back of the chapel
 1 REPLY
Anon goes to church

Anon goes to church

Friday, Memes, and New York: BET Is Bringina Back Freestyle Fridays @balleralert 106 & PARK FREESTYLE โ˜…FRIDAYโ˜… BET Is Bringing Back Freestyle Fridays - Blogged by: @RaquelHarrisTV (swipe) โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € BET is about to make your Fridays a little more lyrical because theyโ€™re bringing back FreestyleFridays! โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € BET is giving the beloved, old-school segment from BETโ€™s 106&Park a whole new spin. BET Networks and YouTube are kicking off a worldwide interactive, video upload search for the most talented artists. โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € The search will start in a non-stop live stream battle at the YouTube studios in four cities: New York, Toronto, Los Angeles and London. There, rappers will have to select one of three beats to rap off in 60 seconds or less. DJs will select a finalist from each city to be in a top 10 pick. The rapper who is voted for the most by the DJs will take the crown as the winner of their city for Freestyle Friday. The four winners will then be flown to LA to compete and be judged by celebrity judges at the Fan Fest stage at the BET Experience. The rapper who wins will go on to be the opening act for the BET hip-hop show at the Staple Center on June 23. โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € The contest started March 16, and all interested rappers have to do is first subscribe to the BET Networks YouTube channel, and then post a video of themselves rapping using the hashtag FreestyleFridayBET. โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € May the best rapper win!
Friday, Memes, and New York: BET Is Bringina Back
 Freestyle Fridays
 @balleralert
 106
 & PARK
 FREESTYLE
 โ˜…FRIDAYโ˜…
BET Is Bringing Back Freestyle Fridays - Blogged by: @RaquelHarrisTV (swipe) โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € BET is about to make your Fridays a little more lyrical because theyโ€™re bringing back FreestyleFridays! โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € BET is giving the beloved, old-school segment from BETโ€™s 106&Park a whole new spin. BET Networks and YouTube are kicking off a worldwide interactive, video upload search for the most talented artists. โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € The search will start in a non-stop live stream battle at the YouTube studios in four cities: New York, Toronto, Los Angeles and London. There, rappers will have to select one of three beats to rap off in 60 seconds or less. DJs will select a finalist from each city to be in a top 10 pick. The rapper who is voted for the most by the DJs will take the crown as the winner of their city for Freestyle Friday. The four winners will then be flown to LA to compete and be judged by celebrity judges at the Fan Fest stage at the BET Experience. The rapper who wins will go on to be the opening act for the BET hip-hop show at the Staple Center on June 23. โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € The contest started March 16, and all interested rappers have to do is first subscribe to the BET Networks YouTube channel, and then post a video of themselves rapping using the hashtag FreestyleFridayBET. โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € May the best rapper win!

BET Is Bringing Back Freestyle Fridays - Blogged by: @RaquelHarrisTV (swipe) โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € BET is about to make your Fridays a little ...

Bad, Bless Up, and Bodies : Invest in tennis balls, they have a high return rate @DrSmashlove Reddit ulyerawizzardarry Ladies cot dammit if ya man take a dive down under and hit ya Nani with that impeccable TungWerk ยฎ๏ธ make a lil eye contact. U feel me? Look him in the eye while he working, he dutiful. It ainโ€™t gotta be a staring contest just that lil belly crunchie where u lean up for a sec with that drooly grin ๐Ÿคค before laying back down and clutching ya own bresstassiss again lol. The look in the eye say โ€œI am validating your efforts, which are appreciated. Go Head with that whirlwind devil tung boy who raised u? Is u half Man half reptile with that tornado tung? U tryina eff around and make me fall in love? YOU ๐Ÿ‘ DONT ๐Ÿ‘ WANT ๐Ÿ‘ ME ๐Ÿ‘ TO ๐Ÿ‘ FALL ๐Ÿ‘ IN ๐Ÿ‘LOVE ๐Ÿ‘THATโ€™S ๐Ÿ‘WHEN ๐Ÿ‘ THE ๐Ÿ‘ CRAZY ๐Ÿ‘ COME ๐Ÿ‘ OUT ๐Ÿ‘ NOT ๐Ÿ‘ THE ๐Ÿ‘ GOOD ๐Ÿ‘ CRAZY ๐Ÿ‘ BUT ๐Ÿ‘ THE ๐Ÿ‘ BAD CRAZY. ๐Ÿ‘BOI...imma have to ohhhghhhhhh ggggahhhhhhโ€ *digs manicure nails into scalp* โ€œI ahhhhhhh yesyesyesyesyes DONโ€™T STOP FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU ๐Ÿ˜ฉโ€ โ€” You feel me? That interaction is clutch. I be seeing some of u criminals tho bruv ๐Ÿ˜‚ - I start going down under and yโ€™all wanna close ya eyes and play out a whole separate movie in ya head. How do I know what movie dat is? Maybe itโ€™s me on a snowy mountain top wearing only a fur loin cloth riding a unicorn with my hair blowing in the arctic wind (I donโ€™t have long hair and anyway my hair donโ€™t blow but bear with me lmao) or maybe itโ€™s another movie entirely that I ainโ€™t even in!? โ€œWell smash now I KNOW you donโ€™t know as much as women as you purport to...some women canโ€™t bust unless they close their eyes and go to a happy place STOP ๐Ÿ›‘ TRYING ๐Ÿ›‘ TO ๐Ÿ›‘ CONTROL ๐Ÿ›‘ OUR ๐Ÿ›‘ BODIES.โ€ Whoa derr ma. Now u doing too much. U free to go to a happy place, just give a brother a glance! U feel me? A small token of your appreciation. Inside every man is a little part of him thatโ€™s a hurt lil boy who need reinforcement. If u think u with some super macho lookin a$$ boy who ainโ€™t got this lil part of him that just mean he good at hiding it but he likely got the ultimate mommy-daddy issues that ainโ€™t came out yet jus wait on it ๐Ÿ˜‚. For the rest of u, LOOK HIM IN THE EYE - to be a good plant manager u gotta be appreciative of the pipe layer so he keep doing a good job BLESS UP ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚
Bad, Bless Up, and Bodies : Invest in tennis balls, they have a high
 return rate
 @DrSmashlove
 Reddit ulyerawizzardarry
Ladies cot dammit if ya man take a dive down under and hit ya Nani with that impeccable TungWerk ยฎ๏ธ make a lil eye contact. U feel me? Look him in the eye while he working, he dutiful. It ainโ€™t gotta be a staring contest just that lil belly crunchie where u lean up for a sec with that drooly grin ๐Ÿคค before laying back down and clutching ya own bresstassiss again lol. The look in the eye say โ€œI am validating your efforts, which are appreciated. Go Head with that whirlwind devil tung boy who raised u? Is u half Man half reptile with that tornado tung? U tryina eff around and make me fall in love? YOU ๐Ÿ‘ DONT ๐Ÿ‘ WANT ๐Ÿ‘ ME ๐Ÿ‘ TO ๐Ÿ‘ FALL ๐Ÿ‘ IN ๐Ÿ‘LOVE ๐Ÿ‘THATโ€™S ๐Ÿ‘WHEN ๐Ÿ‘ THE ๐Ÿ‘ CRAZY ๐Ÿ‘ COME ๐Ÿ‘ OUT ๐Ÿ‘ NOT ๐Ÿ‘ THE ๐Ÿ‘ GOOD ๐Ÿ‘ CRAZY ๐Ÿ‘ BUT ๐Ÿ‘ THE ๐Ÿ‘ BAD CRAZY. ๐Ÿ‘BOI...imma have to ohhhghhhhhh ggggahhhhhhโ€ *digs manicure nails into scalp* โ€œI ahhhhhhh yesyesyesyesyes DONโ€™T STOP FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU ๐Ÿ˜ฉโ€ โ€” You feel me? That interaction is clutch. I be seeing some of u criminals tho bruv ๐Ÿ˜‚ - I start going down under and yโ€™all wanna close ya eyes and play out a whole separate movie in ya head. How do I know what movie dat is? Maybe itโ€™s me on a snowy mountain top wearing only a fur loin cloth riding a unicorn with my hair blowing in the arctic wind (I donโ€™t have long hair and anyway my hair donโ€™t blow but bear with me lmao) or maybe itโ€™s another movie entirely that I ainโ€™t even in!? โ€œWell smash now I KNOW you donโ€™t know as much as women as you purport to...some women canโ€™t bust unless they close their eyes and go to a happy place STOP ๐Ÿ›‘ TRYING ๐Ÿ›‘ TO ๐Ÿ›‘ CONTROL ๐Ÿ›‘ OUR ๐Ÿ›‘ BODIES.โ€ Whoa derr ma. Now u doing too much. U free to go to a happy place, just give a brother a glance! U feel me? A small token of your appreciation. Inside every man is a little part of him thatโ€™s a hurt lil boy who need reinforcement. If u think u with some super macho lookin a$$ boy who ainโ€™t got this lil part of him that just mean he good at hiding it but he likely got the ultimate mommy-daddy issues that ainโ€™t came out yet jus wait on it ๐Ÿ˜‚. For the rest of u, LOOK HIM IN THE EYE - to be a good plant manager u gotta be appreciative of the pipe layer so he keep doing a good job BLESS UP ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚

Ladies cot dammit if ya man take a dive down under and hit ya Nani with that impeccable TungWerk ยฎ๏ธ make a lil eye contact. U feel me? Look ...

Ass, CoCo, and Crush: me when my pet does literally anything I think my homie dog retarded. Hear me out, this dog has to be a product of incest or some other sick twisted experiment. The dog name was Toby. Now who the fuck names they dog after a character from roots? You already know he strong as fuck. Second the dog had 3 eye balls. With two eye sockets. His left eye look like a cell thatโ€™s in the middle of mitosis. It had two pupils not just one. And it didnโ€™t even bark. I went to pet him and he said Moo. Nigga momma got fucked by a cow. Thatโ€™s some down south shit. So my boy Frankie went to get pussy from my next door crush. Me being a good friend decided to watch him. I never had a dog and this was the first opportunity to practice. I bought Toby in the house cause it was cold outside and I wanted to play. Iโ€™m eating breakfast at the table when he just looking at me. This dog ainโ€™t even blink. Iโ€™m having a starring contest with Tien from Dragon ball. I think he hungry but I didnโ€™t have dog food. He wasnโ€™t getting my left over KFC in the fridge so I give him some coco puffs. Within minutes this boy going wild. He CooCoo Co Co puffs. He sound like a cow at a slaughter house mooing continuously. I think he like the cereal so I give him more. Little did I know dogs canโ€™t eat chocolate. when you black the only remedy you have to fix any problem is vix. I bring Toby to the bathroom cabinet to get the vix when. He starts shitting up a storm. This was a worse sight then 2 girls one cup. Boy done started running around my house just shitting on any and everything. Iโ€™m chasing Toby slipping on dog shit like banana peels from Mario kart. Toby runs head first into my fridge. My refrigerator tips like a domino and tilts back and falls on Toby. This the first time I see a fridge catch a dent from a dog. Toby built different How ima explain to my mom why my fridge broke and house smells like hobo socks and syphilis? Smell felt like I was in a gas chamber. I run to the window yelling for help. No one came. My boy Frankie was deep in some pussy while Iโ€™m deep in some shit. My momma came home from work and whooped my ass. To this day I hate dogs.
Ass, CoCo, and Crush: me when my pet does literally
 anything
I think my homie dog retarded. Hear me out, this dog has to be a product of incest or some other sick twisted experiment. The dog name was Toby. Now who the fuck names they dog after a character from roots? You already know he strong as fuck. Second the dog had 3 eye balls. With two eye sockets. His left eye look like a cell thatโ€™s in the middle of mitosis. It had two pupils not just one. And it didnโ€™t even bark. I went to pet him and he said Moo. Nigga momma got fucked by a cow. Thatโ€™s some down south shit. So my boy Frankie went to get pussy from my next door crush. Me being a good friend decided to watch him. I never had a dog and this was the first opportunity to practice. I bought Toby in the house cause it was cold outside and I wanted to play. Iโ€™m eating breakfast at the table when he just looking at me. This dog ainโ€™t even blink. Iโ€™m having a starring contest with Tien from Dragon ball. I think he hungry but I didnโ€™t have dog food. He wasnโ€™t getting my left over KFC in the fridge so I give him some coco puffs. Within minutes this boy going wild. He CooCoo Co Co puffs. He sound like a cow at a slaughter house mooing continuously. I think he like the cereal so I give him more. Little did I know dogs canโ€™t eat chocolate. when you black the only remedy you have to fix any problem is vix. I bring Toby to the bathroom cabinet to get the vix when. He starts shitting up a storm. This was a worse sight then 2 girls one cup. Boy done started running around my house just shitting on any and everything. Iโ€™m chasing Toby slipping on dog shit like banana peels from Mario kart. Toby runs head first into my fridge. My refrigerator tips like a domino and tilts back and falls on Toby. This the first time I see a fridge catch a dent from a dog. Toby built different How ima explain to my mom why my fridge broke and house smells like hobo socks and syphilis? Smell felt like I was in a gas chamber. I run to the window yelling for help. No one came. My boy Frankie was deep in some pussy while Iโ€™m deep in some shit. My momma came home from work and whooped my ass. To this day I hate dogs.

I think my homie dog retarded. Hear me out, this dog has to be a product of incest or some other sick twisted experiment. The dog name was T...

All Star, Basketball, and Billboard: N.E.R.D. To Perform at The 2018 NBA All-Star Game Halftime Show @balleralert N.E.R.D. To Perform at The 2018 NBA All-Star Game Halftime Show โ€“ blogged by @MsJennyb โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € In about a month, the leagueโ€™s fan-favorite players will head to Los Angeles to face-off in the 2018 NBA All-Star game. โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € The highly anticipated weekend will feature a dunk contest, a three-point contest, and other activities between the fan-selected All-Star players. The weekend will also consist of a Celebrity Basketball game, a special sit down with Shaquille Oโ€™Neal and Kobe Bryant and performances by N.E.R.D and Fergie. โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € According to Billboard, on Sunday, February 18, N.E.R.D. will hit the stage to perform a medley of smash hits during halftime, including latest single โ€œLemon,โ€ featuring Rihanna. Prior to the halftime show, Fergie will perform the national anthem and Barenaked Ladies will play the Canadian national anthem.
All Star, Basketball, and Billboard: N.E.R.D. To Perform at The 2018
 NBA All-Star Game Halftime Show
 @balleralert
N.E.R.D. To Perform at The 2018 NBA All-Star Game Halftime Show โ€“ blogged by @MsJennyb โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € In about a month, the leagueโ€™s fan-favorite players will head to Los Angeles to face-off in the 2018 NBA All-Star game. โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € The highly anticipated weekend will feature a dunk contest, a three-point contest, and other activities between the fan-selected All-Star players. The weekend will also consist of a Celebrity Basketball game, a special sit down with Shaquille Oโ€™Neal and Kobe Bryant and performances by N.E.R.D and Fergie. โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € According to Billboard, on Sunday, February 18, N.E.R.D. will hit the stage to perform a medley of smash hits during halftime, including latest single โ€œLemon,โ€ featuring Rihanna. Prior to the halftime show, Fergie will perform the national anthem and Barenaked Ladies will play the Canadian national anthem.

N.E.R.D. To Perform at The 2018 NBA All-Star Game Halftime Show โ€“ blogged by @MsJennyb โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € In about a month, the leagueโ€™s fan-fa...