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Beautiful, Community, and God: 21 Answers votes oldest newest You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions. Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide. The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus-regexp will liquify the nerves of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the onslaught of horror. Regex-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how can anyone survive this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the dread realm of čorrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of reg ex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes-the pestilent slithy regex-infection will devour your HTML parser, application and existence for all time like Vişual Basic only worse he comes he comes do not fight he comes, his uņholy radiance destroping all enlightenment, HTML tags leaking frọm your eyesiike liquid pain, the song of regular expression parsing-will extinguish the voices of mortal man from the sphere I can see it can you see t it is beautiful the f inal snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL ĮS LOSTALL IS LOST the pony he comes he comes hejcemes the ichor permeates al MY FACEFACEh god no NO NOOoo Ne stop the an ges aře not reâj ZALGO IS TON THË PONY, HECOMES 1811 Have you tried using an XML parser instead? link edit flag edited Nov 14 at 0:18 community wiki bobince regex and html
Beautiful, Community, and God: 21 Answers
 votes
 oldest
 newest
 You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that
 can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many
 times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is
 insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular
 language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break
 down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular
 regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me
 crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even
 Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions. Every time you attempt to parse HTML with
 regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp.
 Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together
 like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide. The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and
 HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you
 parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to
 inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes.
 HTML-plus-regexp will liquify the nerves of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the
 onslaught of horror. Regex-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late
 it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living tissue
 (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how can anyone survive
 this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and
 security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the
 dread realm of čorrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of reg
 ex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless
 screaming, he comes-the pestilent slithy regex-infection will devour your HTML parser, application and
 existence for all time like Vişual Basic only worse he comes he comes do not fight he comes, his uņholy
 radiance destroping all enlightenment, HTML tags leaking frọm your eyesiike liquid pain, the song of
 regular expression parsing-will extinguish the voices of mortal man from the sphere I can see it can you
 see t it is beautiful the f inal snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL ĮS LOSTALL IS LOST the pony he
 comes he comes hejcemes the ichor permeates al MY FACEFACEh god no NO NOOoo Ne
 stop the an ges aře not reâj ZALGO IS TON THË PONY, HECOMES
 1811
 Have you tried using an XML parser instead?
 link edit flag
 edited Nov 14 at 0:18
 community wiki
 bobince
regex and html

regex and html

Bad, Beer, and Life: Guillermo del Toro says he saw a real UFO and it was 'horribly designed' The Shape of Water director Guillermo 2.4K by Laura Hudson/2d thefingerfuckingfemalefury: elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey: doux-amer: truestoriesaboutme: dragon-in-a-fez: imagine you saw an alien spacecraft and your first reaction was to critique its flat color palette and unimaginative lines The Truth is Out There and It Has Bad Aesthetics Because context actually makes the already great headline even greater: “I know this is horrible,” del Toro continues. “You sound like a complete lunatic, but I saw a UFO. I didn’t want to see a UFO. It was horribly designed. I was with a friend. We bought a six-pack. We didn’t consume it, and there was a place called Cerro del Cuatro, “Mountain of the Four,” on the periphery of Guadalajara. We said, ‘Let’s go to the highway.’ We sit down to watch the stars and have the beer and talk. We were the only guys by the freeway. And we saw a light on the horizon going super-fast, not linear. And I said, ‘Honk and flash the lights.’ And we started honking.” The UFO, says del Toro, “Went from 1,000 meters away [to much closer] in less than a second — and it was so crappy. It was a flying saucer, so clichéd, with lights [blinking]. It’s so sad: I wish I could reveal they’re not what you think they are. They are what you think they are. And the fear we felt was so primal. I have never been that scared in my life. We jumped in the car, drove really fast. It was following us, and then I looked back and it was gone.” (x) the same man that made a movie about making giant robots to fight aliens SAW SOME ALIENS, INSULTED THEIR AESTHETIC, and RAN AWAY SCREAMING “there is intelligent life out there but it’s really fuckin tacky”
Bad, Beer, and Life: Guillermo del Toro says he saw a
 real UFO and it was 'horribly
 designed'
 The Shape of Water director Guillermo
 2.4K by Laura Hudson/2d
thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

doux-amer:

truestoriesaboutme:

dragon-in-a-fez:
imagine you saw an alien spacecraft and your first reaction was to critique its flat color palette and unimaginative lines
The Truth is Out There and It Has Bad Aesthetics

Because context actually makes the already great headline even greater:

“I know this is horrible,” del Toro continues. “You sound like a complete lunatic, but I saw a UFO. I didn’t want to see a UFO. It was horribly designed. I was with a friend. We bought a six-pack. We didn’t consume it, and there was a place called Cerro del Cuatro, “Mountain of the Four,” on the periphery of Guadalajara. We said, ‘Let’s go to the highway.’ We sit down to watch the stars and have the beer and talk. We were the only guys by the freeway. And we saw a light on the horizon going super-fast, not linear. And I said, ‘Honk and flash the lights.’ And we started honking.”
The UFO, says del Toro, “Went from 1,000 meters away [to much closer] in less than a second — and it was so crappy. It was a flying saucer, so clichéd, with lights [blinking]. It’s so sad: I wish I could reveal they’re not what you think they are. They are what you think they are. And the fear we felt was so primal. I have never been that scared in my life. We jumped in the car, drove really fast. It was following us, and then I looked back and it was gone.”
(x)



the same man that made a movie about making giant robots to fight aliens SAW SOME ALIENS, INSULTED THEIR AESTHETIC, and RAN AWAY SCREAMING

“there is intelligent life out there but it’s really fuckin tacky”

thefingerfuckingfemalefury: elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey: doux-amer: truestoriesaboutme: dragon-in-a-fez: imagine you saw an alien spa...

Fake, Food, and Fucking: DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE IS AN ACID WITHA PH LEVEL OF7 DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE AWARENESS THAT'S A HIGHER PH LEVEL THAN ANY OTHER ACID! rammbook: youngalientype: mod2amaryllis: chubby-aphrodite: darthlenaplant: nerdy-pharmacy-daydreams: bluegone: etherealastraea: dihydrogenmonoxideawareness: Why would anyone want to consume it!? I teach my 7th graders about the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide. I bring in a graduated cylinder of it and we talk about how it’s used in nuclear power plants and gmo crops. How inhaling even the small amount I’m holding can lead to suffocation or even death. It’s found in vaccines and cancer cells, but also in infant formula and pet food. It is a huge component of acid rain, can cause severe burns, and has been found in places that were thought to be the most pristine and unpolluted locations on earth. We talk about how there are little to no regulations on this chemical. No bans, no warning labels, and most manufacturers don’t even have to disclose their use of it in their products. My students are outraged. We talk about what we can do. Create posters and flyers to spread awareness. Contact our senators with petitions to ban DHMO. Spread this information all over social media. Then I explain that the real problem with dihydrogen monoxide is that….when I am thirsty…there is just nothing else as refreshing, and then I watch their looks of absolute shock and horror as I drink the entire vial down. I. Fucking. Love. This. This is how misinformation works. How propaganda works. How manipulation works. may our education be stronger than fake news Amen. To those who don’t get it: “Dihydrogen monoxide” is the chemical name for water, AKA H2O. another important element of understanding the joke is understanding how pH levels work yup.  that’s a higher number alright. “Everyone who has ever touched or consumed this chemical has died” @greenbean-quackeroo
Fake, Food, and Fucking: DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE IS
 AN ACID WITHA PH LEVEL OF7
 DIHYDROGEN
 MONOXIDE
 AWARENESS
 THAT'S A HIGHER PH LEVEL
 THAN ANY OTHER ACID!
rammbook:

youngalientype:

mod2amaryllis:

chubby-aphrodite:

darthlenaplant:

nerdy-pharmacy-daydreams:


bluegone:


etherealastraea:

dihydrogenmonoxideawareness:

Why would anyone want to consume it!?

I teach my 7th graders about the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide.
I bring in a graduated cylinder of it and we talk about how it’s used in nuclear power plants and gmo crops. How inhaling even the small amount I’m holding can lead to suffocation or even death. It’s found in vaccines and cancer cells, but also in infant formula and pet food. It is a huge component of acid rain, can cause severe burns, and has been found in places that were thought to be the most pristine and unpolluted locations on earth.
We talk about how there are little to no regulations on this chemical. No bans, no warning labels, and most manufacturers don’t even have to disclose their use of it in their products.
My students are outraged. We talk about what we can do. Create posters and flyers to spread awareness. Contact our senators with petitions to ban DHMO. Spread this information all over social media.
Then I explain that the real problem with dihydrogen monoxide is that….when I am thirsty…there is just nothing else as refreshing, and then I watch their looks of absolute shock and horror as I drink the entire vial down. 



I. Fucking. Love. This.
This is how misinformation works. How propaganda works. How manipulation works.


may our education be stronger than fake news


Amen.

To those who don’t get it:
“Dihydrogen monoxide” is the chemical name for water, AKA H2O.

another important element of understanding the joke is understanding how pH levels work
yup.  that’s a higher number alright.

“Everyone who has ever touched or consumed this chemical has died”


@greenbean-quackeroo

rammbook: youngalientype: mod2amaryllis: chubby-aphrodite: darthlenaplant: nerdy-pharmacy-daydreams: bluegone: etherealastraea: di...

Be Like, Club, and Dad: factfiction emiliusthegreat Follow partybarackisinthehousetonight releases pack of dads into home depot* go....be free hotcommunist invasive species encroach on lesbian territory dreaming-shark This is a common misconception because they're such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe's. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe's to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores. ailithnight A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfort- able cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really "encroaching on another's territory". You wouldn't say that about foxes in a forest that also homes bobcats, would you? No. It's just two different species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals, Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation. Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a or Home Depot, that's where chaos will reign. Being adap far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It would be like releasing bears at a country club. chequerootlurks As a former timber-harveste... I feel this is potentially accurate in theory. But highly improbable in actuality. Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together. This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the Log Boss. A "pack" of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a Log Boss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory. One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs. Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch Getting a "pack" of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred. Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware system. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably peaceful unless threatened. katy-l-wood As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100% accurate. The delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores
Be Like, Club, and Dad: factfiction
 emiliusthegreat Follow
 partybarackisinthehousetonight
 releases pack of dads into home depot* go....be free
 hotcommunist
 invasive species encroach on lesbian territory
 dreaming-shark
 This is a common misconception because they're such similar
 environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to
 Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe's. At this
 point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at
 home in both Home Depot and Lowe's to the point that trying to
 separate them back into their original ranges would probably do
 more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain
 hardware stores.
 ailithnight
 A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfort-
 able cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really "encroaching on
 another's territory". You wouldn't say that about foxes in a forest
 that also homes bobcats, would you? No. It's just two different
 species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same
 environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals,
 Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation.
 Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a
 or Home Depot, that's where chaos will reign. Being adap
 far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks
 would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also
 consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It
 would be like releasing bears at a country club.
 chequerootlurks
 As a former timber-harveste... I feel this is potentially accurate in
 theory. But highly improbable in actuality.
 Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require
 more space than the average hardware store, even a big box
 store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a
 social species because of how they often work and live together.
 This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival
 technique for thriving under the Log Boss.
 A "pack" of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental
 pressure of a Log Boss will naturally disperse until they each have
 a wide territory
 Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.
 One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian,
 however the latter tend to travel in social packs.
 Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large
 numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch
 Getting a "pack" of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard
 enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a
 LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and
 potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This
 artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok
 If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.
 Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware
 system. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive
 Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social
 predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably
 peaceful unless threatened.
 katy-l-wood
 As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100%
 accurate.
The delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores

The delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores

Asking, Ask, and Invest: MY DENTIST ASKING IFIFLOSSED ME Invest now, you don’t have to ask your dentist to consume these profits! via /r/MemeEconomy https://ift.tt/2MIUm5p
Asking, Ask, and Invest: MY DENTIST ASKING
 IFIFLOSSED
 ME
Invest now, you don’t have to ask your dentist to consume these profits! via /r/MemeEconomy https://ift.tt/2MIUm5p

Invest now, you don’t have to ask your dentist to consume these profits! via /r/MemeEconomy https://ift.tt/2MIUm5p

Iphone, Target, and Tumblr: maxine mawhinney @maxinemawhinney Morocco has completely banned plastic bags. You can't even pay for one. What they have instead is recycled paper fibre bags that feel like soft fabric and are biodearadable. Here is my afternoon purchase in its bag. Way to go Morocco. @bountay It's interesting how countries in the global south have continued their commitment to tackling climate change, despite being disproportionately affected by it Meanwhile the west will continue to consume way beyond its means maxine mawhinney@maxine... Mar 26, 2018 Morocco has completely banned plastic bags. You can't even pay for one. What they have instead is recycled paper fibre bags that feel like soft fabric an 6:04 AM Apr 26, 2019 Twitter for iPhone 44.5K Likes 16.7K Retweets @bountay And by interesting I mean totally goes to show how Western interests lie at the heart of continuing to ruin and deplete the planet of its resources for its own self serving purposes. through capitalism of course 6:05 AM Apr 26, 2019 Twitter for iPhone thatpettyblackgirl: Not only that, but they’ll tell people that it’s our fault that the world is dying instead of corporations producing over 80% of emissions and waste. Asking the west to retire plastic is like asking them to give up their nuclear weapons. The U.S. military is the single greatest institutional contributor to the growing natural disasters intensified by global climate change.
Iphone, Target, and Tumblr: maxine mawhinney
 @maxinemawhinney
 Morocco has completely banned
 plastic bags. You can't even pay for
 one. What they have instead is
 recycled paper fibre bags that feel like
 soft fabric and are biodearadable.
 Here is my afternoon purchase in its
 bag. Way to go Morocco.

 @bountay
 It's interesting how countries in the
 global south have continued their
 commitment to tackling climate
 change, despite being
 disproportionately affected by it
 Meanwhile the west will continue to
 consume way beyond its means
 maxine mawhinney@maxine... Mar 26, 2018
 Morocco has completely banned plastic bags. You
 can't even pay for one. What they have instead is
 recycled paper fibre bags that feel like soft fabric an
 6:04 AM Apr 26, 2019 Twitter for iPhone
 44.5K Likes
 16.7K Retweets

 @bountay
 And by interesting I mean totally goes
 to show how Western interests lie at
 the heart of continuing to ruin and
 deplete the planet of its resources for
 its own self serving purposes. through
 capitalism of course
 6:05 AM Apr 26, 2019 Twitter for iPhone
thatpettyblackgirl:
Not only that, but they’ll tell people that it’s our fault that the 
world is dying instead of corporations producing over 80% of emissions 
and waste.

Asking the west to retire plastic is like asking them to give up their nuclear weapons.


The U.S. military is the single greatest institutional contributor to the growing natural disasters intensified by global climate change.

thatpettyblackgirl: Not only that, but they’ll tell people that it’s our fault that the world is dying instead of corporations producing ov...

Iphone, Tumblr, and Twitter: maxine mawhinney @maxinemawhinney Morocco has completely banned plastic bags. You can't even pay for one. What they have instead is recycled paper fibre bags that feel like soft fabric and are biodearadable. Here is my afternoon purchase in its bag. Way to go Morocco. @bountay It's interesting how countries in the global south have continued their commitment to tackling climate change, despite being disproportionately affected by it Meanwhile the west will continue to consume way beyond its means maxine mawhinney@maxine... Mar 26, 2018 Morocco has completely banned plastic bags. You can't even pay for one. What they have instead is recycled paper fibre bags that feel like soft fabric an 6:04 AM Apr 26, 2019 Twitter for iPhone 44.5K Likes 16.7K Retweets @bountay And by interesting I mean totally goes to show how Western interests lie at the heart of continuing to ruin and deplete the planet of its resources for its own self serving purposes. through capitalism of course 6:05 AM Apr 26, 2019 Twitter for iPhone thatpettyblackgirl: Not only that, but they’ll tell people that it’s our fault that the world is dying instead of corporations producing over 80% of emissions and waste. Asking the west to retire plastic is like asking them to give up their nuclear weapons. The U.S. military is the single greatest institutional contributor to the growing natural disasters intensified by global climate change.
Iphone, Tumblr, and Twitter: maxine mawhinney
 @maxinemawhinney
 Morocco has completely banned
 plastic bags. You can't even pay for
 one. What they have instead is
 recycled paper fibre bags that feel like
 soft fabric and are biodearadable.
 Here is my afternoon purchase in its
 bag. Way to go Morocco.

 @bountay
 It's interesting how countries in the
 global south have continued their
 commitment to tackling climate
 change, despite being
 disproportionately affected by it
 Meanwhile the west will continue to
 consume way beyond its means
 maxine mawhinney@maxine... Mar 26, 2018
 Morocco has completely banned plastic bags. You
 can't even pay for one. What they have instead is
 recycled paper fibre bags that feel like soft fabric an
 6:04 AM Apr 26, 2019 Twitter for iPhone
 44.5K Likes
 16.7K Retweets

 @bountay
 And by interesting I mean totally goes
 to show how Western interests lie at
 the heart of continuing to ruin and
 deplete the planet of its resources for
 its own self serving purposes. through
 capitalism of course
 6:05 AM Apr 26, 2019 Twitter for iPhone
thatpettyblackgirl:

Not only that, but they’ll tell people that it’s our fault that the 
world is dying instead of corporations producing over 80% of emissions 
and waste.

Asking the west to retire plastic is like asking them to give up their nuclear weapons.


The U.S. military is the single greatest institutional contributor to the growing natural disasters intensified by global climate change.

thatpettyblackgirl: Not only that, but they’ll tell people that it’s our fault that the world is dying instead of corporations producing o...