🔥 | Latest

Ass, Bored, and Confused: 18 02:56 ....ll Thread James Dator @James.. 17 May In honor of John Wick 3 I have a Keanu Reeves story 615 ti 19.2K 54.3K James Dator @James.. 17 May Keanu came to the movie theater I worked at in Sydney in 2001. He was working on the Matrix series at the time. It's a quiet, Wednesday morning almost nobody is seeing movies. 6 C t524 8,415 James Dator @James.. 17 May I'm working the box office, bored as hell and suddenly this dude walks up in jeans, a leather jacket and a horse riding helmet. A full ass, weird equestrian looking helmet. It takes me a solid 30 seconds to ignore the helmet and realize it's Keanu Reeves 7 1450 8,840 James Dator @James 17 Mayv He wants to buy a ticket for "From Hell," the Johnny Depp movie. I'm so fucking star struck I do what any sensible 16-year-old does and tell him l'd like to give him my employee discount. This means he needs to sign my sheet and therefore I have his autograph 5 8,595 t439 James Dator @James. 17 May "I don't work here," Keanu says. Seemingly confused by my offer. I'm flustered and just charge him the normal price. Kicking myself after for not getting his autograph 9 8,300 t 410 James Dator @James.. 17 May 2 minutes later there's a knock on the door behind me that leads into the box office. I assume it's my manager. It's Keanu. 94 t 409 8,297 17 May "I realized you probably wanted my autograph," he says. "So I signed this." He hands me a receipt from the concessions stand that he signed on the back. He then casually throws an ice James Dator @James... cream cone in the trash can and sees his movie 26 t 639 13.8K James Dator @James Dator realize later that he bought an ice cream cone he didn't want, just to get receipt paper so he could scribble his autograph for a 16-year-old idiot. 19:21 17 May 19 Twitter for iPhone 2,750 Retweets 60.6K Likes awesomacious: Sweet Keanu
Ass, Bored, and Confused: 18
 02:56 ....ll
 Thread
 James Dator @James.. 17 May
 In honor of John Wick 3 I have a Keanu
 Reeves story
 615
 ti 19.2K 54.3K
 James Dator @James..
 17 May
 Keanu came to the movie theater I
 worked at in Sydney in 2001. He was
 working on the Matrix series at the time.
 It's a quiet, Wednesday morning
 almost nobody is seeing movies.
 6 C
 t524
 8,415
 James Dator @James..
 17 May
 I'm working the box office, bored as hell
 and suddenly this dude walks up in
 jeans, a leather jacket and a horse riding
 helmet. A full ass, weird equestrian
 looking helmet. It takes me a solid 30
 seconds to ignore the helmet and realize
 it's Keanu Reeves
 7
 1450
 8,840
 James Dator @James 17 Mayv
 He wants to buy a ticket for "From Hell,"
 the Johnny Depp movie. I'm so fucking
 star struck I do what any sensible
 16-year-old does and tell him l'd like to
 give him my employee discount. This
 means he needs to sign my sheet and
 therefore I have his autograph
 5
 8,595
 t439
 James Dator @James. 17 May
 "I don't work here," Keanu says.
 Seemingly confused by my offer. I'm
 flustered and just charge him the normal
 price. Kicking myself after for not getting
 his autograph
 9
 8,300
 t 410
 James Dator @James..
 17 May
 2 minutes later there's a knock on the
 door behind me that leads into the box
 office. I assume it's my manager. It's
 Keanu.
 94
 t 409
 8,297
 17 May
 "I realized you probably wanted my
 autograph," he says. "So I signed this."
 He hands me a receipt from the
 concessions stand that he signed on the
 back. He then casually throws an ice
 James Dator
 @James...
 cream cone in the trash can and sees his
 movie
 26
 t 639
 13.8K
 James Dator
 @James Dator
 realize later that he bought an
 ice cream cone he didn't want,
 just to get receipt paper so he
 could scribble his autograph for a
 16-year-old idiot.
 19:21 17 May 19 Twitter for iPhone
 2,750 Retweets 60.6K Likes
awesomacious:

Sweet Keanu

awesomacious: Sweet Keanu

Bad, Confused, and Family: bloodytales Teach boys about periods My mother also talked about periods to my brothers. When I first got mine I had terrible cramps. Crippling cramps. I once was camping with my family and a few of my big brother's friends when my period came. My cramps were so bad that my mom gave me a full pain killer (1 was 13 and before that she only gave me pills cut in half) T iterally laid down on my parents' air mattress and cried in pain for an hour before the pill kicked in. My brothers friend came in to the big tent and I was just curled up and sobbing. Now, I was quite the tomboy and was known to rough house with my brothers and their friends and made sure I wasnt seen as just "a little girl." So my brother's friend was confused to see me openly weeping in the fetal position (seriously, these were the worst cramps I have had in my life. My vision went white). He asked what was wrong with me. My big brother stood up immediately and suggested a nice long hike. During this hike I am sure he had a pretty awkward conversation with his friend explaining menstrual cramps, because when they got back the pain pill had (mostly) kicked in and I was sitting up at a table when my brother's friend sheepishly asked me if I was feeling better. I said I was better, and he said good. When we made s'mores that night my brother and his friend kept me well supplied with chocolate. Making sure sons know as much about periods and menstruation as daughters makes them better brothers, better sons better fathers, and better men. A man that understands a period will not lightly accuse a woman of "being on her period" if the woman is in an argument. Raise better sons Teach them about normal bodily functions Teach boys about periods via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2Z0YocM
Bad, Confused, and Family: bloodytales
 Teach boys about periods
 My mother also talked about periods to my brothers.
 When I first got mine I had terrible cramps. Crippling cramps. I once
 was camping with my family and a few of my big brother's friends
 when my period came. My cramps were so bad that my mom gave
 me a full pain killer (1 was 13 and before that she only gave me pills
 cut in half)
 T iterally laid down on my parents' air mattress and cried in pain for
 an hour before the pill kicked in.
 My brothers friend came in to the big tent and I was just curled up
 and sobbing. Now, I was quite the tomboy and was known to rough
 house with my brothers and their friends and made sure I wasnt seen
 as just "a little girl." So my brother's friend was confused to see me
 openly weeping in the fetal position (seriously, these were the worst
 cramps I have had in my life. My vision went white). He asked what
 was wrong with me.
 My big brother stood up immediately and suggested a nice long hike.
 During this hike I am sure he had a pretty awkward conversation with
 his friend explaining menstrual cramps, because when they got back
 the pain pill had (mostly) kicked in and I was sitting up at a table
 when my brother's friend sheepishly asked me if I was feeling better. I
 said I was better, and he said good.
 When we made s'mores that night my brother and his friend kept me
 well supplied with chocolate.
 Making sure sons know as much about periods and menstruation as
 daughters makes them better brothers, better sons better fathers,
 and better men. A man that understands a period will not lightly
 accuse a woman of "being on her period" if the woman is in an
 argument.
 Raise better sons Teach them about normal
 bodily functions
Teach boys about periods via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2Z0YocM

Teach boys about periods via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2Z0YocM

Asian, Confused, and Fucking: Dylan Reneau @DylanReneau Unpopular opinion: cookie dough is worth taking the risk of getting salmonella @mememang @logancooper14 Dylan pull yourself together and go get a damn spoon. It's cookie dough not a beefy 5 layer burrito have some class lorem64 I'm so confused why he would think cookie dough would give him salmonella??? What parent told him this. There's no chicken in there! ankaa-avarshina Two words: Raw eggs. lorem64 2? What kind of world do you live in where Raw eggs carry salmonella or are in anyway unsafe ankaa-avarshina Don't ask me, ask them Americans. I'm an Asian just passing the word on phantoms-lair deep breath Though the risk is small, raw eggs can carry samonella. MORE THREATENINGLY Raw wheat can carry E. Coli. However, if you don't mind making your own cookie dough, you can easily make it safely. Take your standard recipe. Omit the eggs. Eggs serve as a binding agent to hold the cookie together. Since we're eating the dough raw, that's not needed. Take the flour, put it in a pan and bake it at 350 for 7 minutes. Any E. Coli is now dead. Just mix the rest of the ingredients together as the recipe is called for and BAM, perfectly safe edible cookie dough. ego-ann-16 Thank u so fucking much for this wisdom smallest-feeblest-boggart wait you're telling my i can get E, Coli just FROM EATING FLOUR straight from the bag??? kingantlion Why.why are you eating flour straight from the bag? 122,830 notes Q+ ifunny.ce Found on iFunny
Asian, Confused, and Fucking: Dylan Reneau
 @DylanReneau
 Unpopular opinion: cookie dough is
 worth taking the risk of getting
 salmonella
 @mememang
 @logancooper14
 Dylan pull yourself together and go
 get a damn spoon. It's cookie dough
 not a beefy 5 layer burrito have some
 class
 lorem64
 I'm so confused why he would think cookie dough would give him salmonella???
 What parent told him this. There's no chicken in there!
 ankaa-avarshina
 Two words: Raw eggs.
 lorem64
 2? What kind of world do you live in where Raw eggs carry salmonella or are in
 anyway unsafe
 ankaa-avarshina
 Don't ask me, ask them Americans. I'm an Asian just passing the word on
 phantoms-lair
 deep breath Though the risk is small, raw eggs can carry samonella.
 MORE THREATENINGLY Raw wheat can carry E. Coli. However, if you don't
 mind making your own cookie dough, you can easily make it safely.
 Take your standard recipe. Omit the eggs. Eggs serve as a binding agent to hold
 the cookie together. Since we're eating the dough raw, that's not needed. Take
 the flour, put it in a pan and bake it at 350 for 7 minutes. Any E. Coli is now
 dead.
 Just mix the rest of the ingredients together as the recipe is called for and BAM,
 perfectly safe edible cookie dough.
 ego-ann-16
 Thank u so fucking much for this wisdom
 smallest-feeblest-boggart
 wait you're telling my i can get E, Coli just FROM EATING FLOUR straight from
 the bag???
 kingantlion
 Why.why are you eating flour straight from the bag?
 122,830 notes
 Q+
 ifunny.ce
Found on iFunny

Found on iFunny