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Amazon, Drunk, and Internet: old man bangers @FindusPancake My mum was teaching first holy communion class, and a kid asked her "How many communions do vou have to do before you've eaten a whole Jesus?" 24/3/18, 8:48 am 10K Retweets 35.1K Likes sindri42: xanderbot13: gannayev: spiletta42: ragnell: danbensen: exxos-von-steamboldt: ralfmaximus: moogloogle: ralfmaximus: tobaeus: ralfmaximus: nyxetoile: antibutch: thats a valid question A communion wafer, according to the internet, is about .25g. Jesus was a healthy young man, who worked manual labor and walked everywhere. The average male in Biblical times was 5โ€ฒ1โ€ณ and about 110 pounds so call it 50kg or 50,000 grams. So 200,000 wafers to make up a whole Jesus. At one wafer a week thatโ€™s 3846 to eat a whole Jesus at weekly communion. If you went to Mass daily you could do it in under 550 years. 1000 communion wafers from Amazon costs $15, so acquiring a Jesus load would set you back about $3000 But thatโ€™s just the body. Jesus also bade his followers to drink his blood. How much of that Jesus communion wafer supply needs to be replaced with communion wine to account for his blood, and how much of that would need to be consumed to have drunk all his blood as well? The human body contains roughly 5 liters of blood. Communion wine costs about $66 for a case of 12 x 750 ml bottles (9000 ml). So half a case is 4500 ml, or close enough if Jesus was on the small side which is reasonable given what we know of the times. Thus, Jesusโ€™ blood would be about 6 bottles of communion wine, costing $33. How much of his weight was his blood, now? We can bring down the wafer count. Osnap what an excellent question. Water has a specific gravity of 1.0 and weighs 1kg/liter. Wine has a specific gravity if 1.5 thus weighs 1.5kg per liter. 4.5L of wine would weigh 6.75kg or about 15 pounds. Reducing the wafer load by 6.75kg yields 43.25kg so call it 161,000 wafers or $2450 and change. @danbensen Full Metal Eucharist The Unholy Union of Catholic Tumblr and Math Tumblr This is one of those posts I will absolutely email to every pastor I know. @garpfloyd If you just buy a sack of wafers, thatโ€™s just bread. To get the transubstatntiation going you need to have a priest perform the full ritual over them. By which I mean an entire Mass for every like, plateful? If you cut out the songs and use pretty short readings you could probably get one churned out every half-hour or soโ€ฆ
Amazon, Drunk, and Internet: old man bangers
 @FindusPancake
 My mum was teaching first holy
 communion class, and a kid asked her
 "How many communions do vou have
 to do before you've eaten a whole
 Jesus?"
 24/3/18, 8:48 am
 10K Retweets 35.1K Likes
sindri42:
xanderbot13:

gannayev:


spiletta42:

ragnell:

danbensen:

exxos-von-steamboldt:


ralfmaximus:

moogloogle:

ralfmaximus:


tobaeus:


ralfmaximus:

nyxetoile:


antibutch:
thats a valid question
A communion wafer, according to the internet, is about .25g. Jesus was a healthy young man, who worked manual labor and walked everywhere. The average male in Biblical times was 5โ€ฒ1โ€ณ and about 110 pounds so call it 50kg or 50,000 grams. So 200,000 wafers to make up a whole Jesus. At one wafer a week thatโ€™s 3846 to eat a whole Jesus at weekly communion. If you went to Mass daily you could do it in under 550 years.


1000 communion wafers from Amazon costs $15, so acquiring a Jesus load would set you back about $3000

But thatโ€™s just the body. Jesus also bade his followers to drink his blood. How much of that Jesus communion wafer supply needs to be replaced with communion wine to account for his blood, and how much of that would need to be consumed to have drunk all his blood as well?


The human body contains roughly 5 liters of blood.
Communion wine costs about $66 for a case of 12 x 750 ml bottles (9000 ml).
So half a case is 4500 ml, or close enough if Jesus was on the small side which is reasonable given what we know of the times.
Thus, Jesusโ€™ blood would be about 6 bottles of communion wine, costing $33.


How much of his weight was his blood, now? We can bring down the wafer count. 

Osnap what an excellent question.
Water has a specific gravity of 1.0 and weighs 1kg/liter. Wine has a specific gravity if 1.5 thus weighs 1.5kg per liter.
4.5L of wine would weigh 6.75kg or about 15 pounds.
Reducing the wafer load by 6.75kg yields 43.25kg so call it 161,000 wafers or $2450 and change.

@danbensen


Full Metal Eucharist

The Unholy Union of Catholic Tumblr and Math Tumblr
This is one of those posts I will absolutely email to every pastor I know.



@garpfloyd 

If you just buy a sack of wafers, thatโ€™s just bread. To get the transubstatntiation going you need to have a priest perform the full ritual over them. By which I mean an entire Mass for every like, plateful? If you cut out the songs and use pretty short readings you could probably get one churned out every half-hour or soโ€ฆ

sindri42: xanderbot13: gannayev: spiletta42: ragnell: danbensen: exxos-von-steamboldt: ralfmaximus: moogloogle: ralfmaximus: tob...

Be Like, Shit, and Smell: transpeter-deactivated20180411 i'm happy that mcu peter's spidey sense isn't being shown as a miracle worker, like i'm happy peter's sense went off to danger that was laughably close to peter. people have this misconception (mainly due to the 2002 spidey films) that his spidey sense will give peter a heads up to threats wayyyyy in advance, but that's not the case. like there have been many times when peter's spidey sense doesn't really alert him to danger until the danger is really close, sometimes close enough that regular people have already noticed said danger. and even then, peter often ignores it bc it can go off to things that aren't necessarily a threat but COULD be. like a wad of paper being thrown at him by flash, a puddle on the floor that could make him slip. so sometimes peter just ignores it bc it goes off all the time to shit that really isn't that dangerous. the sense is basically like a really reliable, and sometimes annoying, gut-feeling. the spidey sense is so cool but it's still a sense not that different from sight or hearing or taste or touch, and it isn't all powerful or always very helpful % transpeter So basically spider sense just gave peter anxiety. honestly i never thought of it like that but yeah basically jfhfhdhd super anxiety romentical radioactive spider: look! i made a superhero! the avengers: you fucked up a perfectly good teenager is what you did. look at him. he's got anxiety % starkologist I sense a faint smell of danger and-chaos-ensues This isn't your average, every-day anxiety This is Advanced Anxiety Spidey Sense
Be Like, Shit, and Smell: transpeter-deactivated20180411
 i'm happy that mcu peter's spidey sense isn't
 being shown as a miracle worker, like i'm
 happy peter's sense went off to danger that
 was laughably close to peter. people have this
 misconception (mainly due to the 2002 spidey
 films) that his spidey sense will give peter a
 heads up to threats wayyyyy in advance, but
 that's not the case. like there have been many
 times when peter's spidey sense doesn't really
 alert him to danger until the danger is really
 close, sometimes close enough that regular
 people have already noticed said danger.
 and even then, peter often ignores it bc it can
 go off to things that aren't necessarily a threat
 but COULD be. like a wad of paper being
 thrown at him by flash, a puddle on the floor
 that could make him slip. so sometimes peter
 just ignores it bc it goes off all the time to shit
 that really isn't that dangerous. the sense is
 basically like a really reliable, and sometimes
 annoying, gut-feeling. the spidey sense is so
 cool but it's still a sense not that different
 from sight or hearing or taste or touch, and it
 isn't all powerful or always very helpful
 % transpeter
 So basically spider sense just
 gave peter anxiety.
 honestly i never thought of it like
 that but yeah basically jfhfhdhd
 super anxiety
 romentical
 radioactive spider: look! i made a superhero!
 the avengers: you fucked up a perfectly good
 teenager is what you did. look at him. he's got
 anxiety
 % starkologist
 I sense a faint smell of danger
 and-chaos-ensues
 This isn't your average, every-day anxiety
 This is
 Advanced Anxiety
Spidey Sense

Spidey Sense

Funny, Via, and Href: HE at Close enough via /r/funny https://ift.tt/2pTO8TA
Funny, Via, and Href: HE
 at
Close enough via /r/funny https://ift.tt/2pTO8TA

Close enough via /r/funny https://ift.tt/2pTO8TA