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Beautiful, Birthday, and Bless Up: This old man turned 15 today. Can we wish my four egged baby a happy birthday? So this morning on the way to the gym I parked in the lot, took my glasses off and left them in the middle console of my car so I could run inside and get it in on this stair master (while watching my wifey who donโ€™t know she my wifey Mrs Maizel do her COT ๐Ÿ‘ DAMN ๐Ÿ‘ THING ๐Ÿ‘ ON ๐Ÿ‘ THAT ๐Ÿ‘ SCREEN ๐Ÿ‘ U ๐Ÿ‘ GO ๐Ÿ‘ BABY ๐Ÿ‘ GIRL ๐Ÿ‘ EFF ๐Ÿ‘ JOEL ๐Ÿ‘ WITCHOE ๐Ÿ‘ SHARP ๐Ÿ‘ WIT ๐Ÿ‘ AND ๐Ÿ‘ MOUNTAINOUS ๐Ÿ‘ TรˆTA$ ๐Ÿ‘ LMAO) because I only need them to see far, not while Iโ€™m actually at the gym. I come back after knocking out my workout and the left lens is frozen over bruv. BRUV. I CANT SEE LMAO. The steam had frozen into a beautiful snowflake pattern but just one eye. I have driven in a car with a frozen windshield because I am too rushed to scrape it but having to drive with one frozen eyeball was some insane Sh!t bruv! It was a gentle reminder of this ridiculous frozen tundra that I live in and that arguably no human should live in because who the hell would want to live under 4 to 6 inches of snow LOL (Canada, no shots, I know yall get twice as much snow on a regular schmegular Wednesday but yโ€™all veins pump maple syrup it donโ€™t freeze like us we got normal blood lmao.) Anyway this summer Iโ€™ll be back to talking smack about how Chicago is the best city on earth so when I do that, yโ€™all are authorized to remind me that once upon a time I was tight asf that I lived in the cot dang South Pole. Remember that brand? South Pole? With the baggy coats and jeans? I used to want to afford that stuff so much but I couldnโ€™t but then when it fell out of style I was like I NEVER ROCKED THAT UGLY ISHT HAHAHAHAHA I AM SO FANCY (why am I like this ๐Ÿ˜‘ bless up ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚) (Slide 1: @aturner411. Slide 2: reddit u-wampus514. Please check out www.dogs4warriors.org โค๏ธ. Slide 3: @goosewhomst. Slide 4: @jadethesablegsd.)
Beautiful, Birthday, and Bless Up: This old man turned 15 today. Can we wish my four
 egged baby a happy birthday?
So this morning on the way to the gym I parked in the lot, took my glasses off and left them in the middle console of my car so I could run inside and get it in on this stair master (while watching my wifey who donโ€™t know she my wifey Mrs Maizel do her COT ๐Ÿ‘ DAMN ๐Ÿ‘ THING ๐Ÿ‘ ON ๐Ÿ‘ THAT ๐Ÿ‘ SCREEN ๐Ÿ‘ U ๐Ÿ‘ GO ๐Ÿ‘ BABY ๐Ÿ‘ GIRL ๐Ÿ‘ EFF ๐Ÿ‘ JOEL ๐Ÿ‘ WITCHOE ๐Ÿ‘ SHARP ๐Ÿ‘ WIT ๐Ÿ‘ AND ๐Ÿ‘ MOUNTAINOUS ๐Ÿ‘ TรˆTA$ ๐Ÿ‘ LMAO) because I only need them to see far, not while Iโ€™m actually at the gym. I come back after knocking out my workout and the left lens is frozen over bruv. BRUV. I CANT SEE LMAO. The steam had frozen into a beautiful snowflake pattern but just one eye. I have driven in a car with a frozen windshield because I am too rushed to scrape it but having to drive with one frozen eyeball was some insane Sh!t bruv! It was a gentle reminder of this ridiculous frozen tundra that I live in and that arguably no human should live in because who the hell would want to live under 4 to 6 inches of snow LOL (Canada, no shots, I know yall get twice as much snow on a regular schmegular Wednesday but yโ€™all veins pump maple syrup it donโ€™t freeze like us we got normal blood lmao.) Anyway this summer Iโ€™ll be back to talking smack about how Chicago is the best city on earth so when I do that, yโ€™all are authorized to remind me that once upon a time I was tight asf that I lived in the cot dang South Pole. Remember that brand? South Pole? With the baggy coats and jeans? I used to want to afford that stuff so much but I couldnโ€™t but then when it fell out of style I was like I NEVER ROCKED THAT UGLY ISHT HAHAHAHAHA I AM SO FANCY (why am I like this ๐Ÿ˜‘ bless up ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚) (Slide 1: @aturner411. Slide 2: reddit u-wampus514. Please check out www.dogs4warriors.org โค๏ธ. Slide 3: @goosewhomst. Slide 4: @jadethesablegsd.)

So this morning on the way to the gym I parked in the lot, took my glasses off and left them in the middle console of my car so I could run ...

Bad, Bad Boys, and Christmas: HELI'S KITCHEN MOVME CUB XMAS SPECIAL MUN ou ARE MOST ToUBLESOME FOR A SECURITY GUARD ใ„งใ„‹ EEENH! SORRY, HANS, WRONG GUESS. Wouw You IKE TO รฃo FOR OUBLE JEOPARTY,WHERE THE SCORES CAN REALLY CHANGE? CWHOA, THESE THINGS ARE REALLY BAD FOR You THEN WHO ARE You? [INDIANA JONES THEME MUSIC PLAYS] WHEWE JUST A FLY IN THE OINTMENT, HANS. ER PSHUU THE MONKEY KLIK TTER WHAT IS IT YOU WANT, MARY? WHAT DO YOU WANT? DO YOU WANT THE MOON? JUST SAY THE WORD AND I'LL THROW A LASSO AROUND T AND PULL IT DOWN HEY. THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD IDEA. I'LL GIVE YOU THE MOON, MARY. I'LL TAKE IT. THEN WHAT, GEORGE? SNIFE WELL, THEN YOU CAN SWALLOWIT AND IT'LL ALL DISSOLVE, SEE. AND THE MOONBEAMS WOULD SHOOT OUT OF YOUR FINGERS AND YOUR TOES AND THE ENDS OF YOUR HAIR... AM I TALKING TOO MUCH? YES! WHY DON'T YOU KISS HER, INSTEAD OF TALKING HER TO DEATH? HKMC is a work of satire by Dave Acosta (@davedrawsgood), Dee Cunniffe (@deezoid) & Alex de Campi (@alexdecampi). All characters (c) Marvel Comics. Next episode: Death Wish. Or maybe Predator. Dunno. No for real, The Thin Man is "clearly" the best Xmas movie. William Powell is a comedy genius. (If you like Nick & Nora, check out My Man Godfrey, another brillant Powell screwball that has the greatest and by greatest we mean most fucked-up- meetcute of all time.) There's a period in one's young adulthood where it's deeply uncool to like A Wonderful Life. Sentimentality! Ugh, gross. Then you get older, and messages of hope seem a lot more necessary than before. Also, Jimmy Stewart is funny as hell. Not just his delivery, but his physical business between lines? #Goals. Stewart has been in a lot of great films Capra's so current it hurt Mr Smith Frex but if you like nors, dig up the under-appreciated Preminger classic, Anatomy of a Murder. Duke Ellington wrote&performed the score! Anyway: Happy Christmas from all of us. You are more important than you know, and more loved than you believe. Things will get better, give it time. alexdecampi: Hells Kitchen Movie Club Xmas Special! Ho ho ho, motherfuckers! Love from me, @dave-acosta and @deecunniffe Buckyโ€™s shirt a low-key nod to @buckykingofmemes, who we adore Previously in Hell: cover image // 01 // 02 // 03 // Xmas // 04 // 05 // 06 // That time the Punisherโ€™s creator gave us a thumbs-up // twitter // insta HOW did I get a shoutout in this A YEAR AGO and never knew about it?? This series is excellent! Look at that drowsy Bucky!
Bad, Bad Boys, and Christmas: HELI'S KITCHEN MOVME CUB XMAS SPECIAL
 MUN
 ou ARE MOST ToUBLESOME
 FOR A SECURITY GUARD
 ใ„งใ„‹
 EEENH! SORRY, HANS,
 WRONG GUESS.
 Wouw You IKE TO รฃo FOR
 OUBLE JEOPARTY,WHERE THE
 SCORES CAN REALLY CHANGE?

 CWHOA, THESE THINGS ARE
 REALLY BAD FOR You
 THEN WHO ARE You?
 [INDIANA JONES THEME MUSIC PLAYS]
 WHEWE
 JUST A FLY IN THE
 OINTMENT, HANS.
 ER

 PSHUU
 THE MONKEY
 KLIK
 TTER
 WHAT IS IT YOU WANT, MARY?
 WHAT DO YOU WANT? DO YOU
 WANT THE MOON?

 JUST SAY THE WORD AND
 I'LL THROW A LASSO AROUND
 T AND PULL IT DOWN
 HEY. THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD IDEA.
 I'LL GIVE YOU THE MOON, MARY.
 I'LL TAKE IT.
 THEN WHAT, GEORGE?
 SNIFE
 WELL, THEN YOU CAN SWALLOWIT
 AND IT'LL ALL DISSOLVE, SEE.
 AND THE MOONBEAMS WOULD SHOOT
 OUT OF YOUR FINGERS AND YOUR TOES
 AND THE ENDS OF YOUR HAIR...
 AM I TALKING TOO MUCH?
 YES! WHY DON'T YOU KISS HER,
 INSTEAD OF TALKING HER TO DEATH?
 HKMC is a work of satire by Dave Acosta (@davedrawsgood), Dee Cunniffe (@deezoid) & Alex de Campi (@alexdecampi).
 All characters (c) Marvel Comics.
 Next episode: Death Wish. Or maybe Predator. Dunno.
 No for real, The Thin Man is "clearly" the best Xmas movie. William Powell is a comedy genius. (If you like Nick & Nora, check out My Man
 Godfrey, another brillant Powell screwball that has the greatest and by greatest we mean most fucked-up- meetcute of all time.)
 There's a period in one's young adulthood where it's deeply uncool to like A Wonderful Life. Sentimentality! Ugh, gross. Then you get older,
 and messages of hope seem a lot more necessary than before. Also, Jimmy Stewart is funny as hell. Not just his delivery, but his physical
 business between lines? #Goals. Stewart has been in a lot of great films Capra's so current it hurt Mr Smith Frex but if you like nors, dig
 up the under-appreciated Preminger classic, Anatomy of a Murder. Duke Ellington wrote&performed the score! Anyway: Happy Christmas from
 all of us. You are more important than you know, and more loved than you believe. Things will get better, give it time.
alexdecampi:
Hells Kitchen Movie Club Xmas Special! Ho ho ho, motherfuckers! Love from me, @dave-acosta and @deecunniffe
Buckyโ€™s shirt a low-key nod to @buckykingofmemes, who we adore
Previously in Hell: cover image // 01 // 02 // 03 // Xmas // 04 // 05 // 06 // That time the Punisherโ€™s creator gave us a thumbs-up // twitter // insta

HOW did I get a shoutout in this A YEAR AGO and never knew about it?? This series is excellent! Look at that drowsy Bucky!

alexdecampi: Hells Kitchen Movie Club Xmas Special! Ho ho ho, motherfuckers! Love from me, @dave-acosta and @deecunniffe Buckyโ€™s shirt a low...