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Bad, Jesus, and Lol: Today jesus you are rough on pants 331 A get angry with them that have to wear them. 700 AM holy hell, there are better ways to deal with that than to mas- sacre them. Most of us just, stay with me here... Take them off poor things did nothing to you. 740 AM The First step is admitting vou have a problem though. so it sounds like you've accepted your role in this and are ready for the next step. 744 AM Absolutely ready for the next step. Just not sure what that is lol 749 AM we've got to get you out of them and to an environment where you can't hurt them anymore. we in the industry call this place, 'South, I've been there, and you wouldn't believe it. there is not a single pant in sight. the good news is Im an expert at finding this mysterious place. I can guide you out of those pants and in to something far less appropriate 756 AM Sounds like an excellent next step 804 AM I think we need to rehearse before we take any drastic steps I'm going to need to see what I'm getting myself into. 811 AM Rehearsal is a must 812 AM Rehearsals start Monday Anytime that works for you. I do make house calls, but it's going to cost you extra 816 AM Oh darn. Not sure I can afford extra and leave a nice tip В19 АМ Don't worry about the tip, we can work something out а21 AN Oh perfect! 822 AM for my records I'm going to need you to fill out these forms. Full name: Proffered Contact: requested Appointment time Location 824 AM reason for visit 824 AM 9:45pm .I've been naughty.. 8:25 AM ille Oh forgot one. 826 AM Ok I've got you booked in for Monday I will be out of the office this weekend but just in case things get bad and you need to talk, ill keep my phone on me. looking forvward to touching bases with you and getting you out of those pants. 834 A Sounds great. Thanks so much for all the help and support 8:35 AM +pes meesnge She had 5 photos with ripped jeans
Bad, Jesus, and Lol: Today
 jesus you are rough on pants
 331 A
 get angry with them that
 have to wear them.
 700 AM
 holy hell, there are better ways
 to deal with that than to mas-
 sacre them. Most of us just, stay
 with me here... Take them off
 poor things did nothing to you.
 740 AM
 The First step is admitting vou
 have a problem though. so it
 sounds like you've accepted your
 role in this and are ready for the
 next step.
 744 AM
 Absolutely ready for the
 next step. Just not sure
 what that is lol
 749 AM
 we've got to get you out of them
 and to an environment where
 you can't hurt them anymore.
 we in the industry call this place,
 'South, I've been there, and you
 wouldn't believe it. there is not
 a single pant in sight. the good
 news is Im an expert at finding
 this mysterious place. I can guide
 you out of those pants and in to
 something far less appropriate
 756 AM
 Sounds like an excellent
 next step
 804 AM
 I think we need to rehearse
 before we take any drastic steps
 I'm going to need to see what I'm
 getting myself into.
 811 AM
 Rehearsal is a must
 812 AM
 Rehearsals start Monday Anytime
 that works for you. I do make
 house calls, but it's going to cost
 you extra
 816 AM
 Oh darn. Not sure I can
 afford extra and leave a
 nice tip
 В19 АМ
 Don't worry about the tip, we can
 work something out
 а21 AN
 Oh perfect!
 822 AM
 for my records I'm going to need
 you to fill out these forms.
 Full name:
 Proffered Contact:
 requested Appointment
 time
 Location
 824 AM
 reason for visit
 824 AM
 9:45pm
 .I've been naughty..
 8:25 AM
 ille
 Oh forgot one.
 826 AM
 Ok I've got you booked in for
 Monday I will be out of the office
 this weekend but just in case
 things get bad and you need
 to talk, ill keep my phone on
 me. looking forvward to touching
 bases with you and getting you
 out of those pants.
 834 A
 Sounds great. Thanks so
 much for all the help and
 support
 8:35 AM
 +pes meesnge
She had 5 photos with ripped jeans

She had 5 photos with ripped jeans

Bad, Dank, and Friends: omegle Talk to strangers You're chatting with a random stranger on Omegle! You both like Memes. You: Hi Stranger: Hey You: Hiya Stranger: *Karate kicks* Hiya You: Ouch wtf man that hurt Stranger: Yeah, now give me my chicken tendies!! You: No! My chicken tendies *stuffs mouth with chicken tendies* Stranger: Mommy, he stole my tendies!!! Stranger: I'll buy them from you with my good boi points You: Ooh You: How about You: This You: If you solve my testu can keep them Stranger: Deal, mommy always says I'm specia in the head You: Okay You: 69 ? Stranger: Nice You: Minecraft? Stranger: Good You: Fortnite? Stranger: Bad You: Elon musk? Stranger: Is jesus You: Who calls you breathtaking? Stranger: Keanu Reeves You: How many upvotes will this get? Stranger: 7 You: Are you kust gonna scroll past without saying [Unrelated thing] Stranger: Loads LMG with religious intent* intent* Stranger: My spelling are shows you how serious I was You: I have_ friends Stranger: My mommy says not to lie, so you shouln't either You: Youtube ads are? Stranger: Fucking bullshit You: Reddit is? Stranger: The best You: the logo of the subreddit r/memes is? Stranger: Butter Stranger: Butter Stranger: If it hasn't changed You: Mods are Stranger: More gay than James Charles You: Huzzah! A man of culture! You passed with more flying colours than a mod orgy!! Here are your chicken tendies Stranger: Tendy Time!!! You: You also win the rights to post this on reddi to get your 7 upvotes You: Unless its your cake day You: Then u get 13 upvotes Stranger: Thank you, I hope we meet again someday. Until then live a great life Stranger has disconnected. Chicken Tendies by _Bond_1 MORE MEMES
Bad, Dank, and Friends: omegle
 Talk to strangers
 You're chatting with a random stranger on Omegle!
 You both like Memes.
 You: Hi
 Stranger: Hey
 You: Hiya
 Stranger: *Karate kicks* Hiya
 You: Ouch wtf man that hurt
 Stranger: Yeah, now give me my chicken
 tendies!!
 You: No! My chicken tendies *stuffs mouth with
 chicken tendies*
 Stranger: Mommy, he stole my tendies!!!
 Stranger: I'll buy them from you with my good
 boi points
 You: Ooh
 You: How about
 You: This
 You: If you solve my testu can keep them
 Stranger: Deal, mommy always says I'm specia
 in the head
 You: Okay
 You: 69 ?
 Stranger: Nice
 You: Minecraft?
 Stranger: Good
 You: Fortnite?
 Stranger: Bad
 You: Elon musk?
 Stranger: Is jesus
 You: Who calls you breathtaking?
 Stranger: Keanu Reeves
 You: How many upvotes will this get?
 Stranger: 7
 You: Are you kust gonna scroll past without
 saying [Unrelated thing]
 Stranger: Loads LMG with religious intent*
 intent*
 Stranger: My spelling are shows you how
 serious I was
 You: I have_ friends
 Stranger: My mommy says not to lie, so you
 shouln't either
 You: Youtube ads are?
 Stranger: Fucking bullshit
 You: Reddit is?
 Stranger: The best
 You: the logo of the subreddit r/memes is?
 Stranger: Butter
 Stranger: Butter
 Stranger: If it hasn't changed
 You: Mods are
 Stranger: More gay than James Charles
 You: Huzzah! A man of culture! You passed with
 more flying colours than a mod orgy!! Here are
 your chicken tendies
 Stranger: Tendy Time!!!
 You: You also win the rights to post this on reddi
 to get your 7 upvotes
 You: Unless its your cake day
 You: Then u get 13 upvotes
 Stranger: Thank you, I hope we meet again
 someday. Until then live a great life
 Stranger has disconnected.
Chicken Tendies by _Bond_1
MORE MEMES

Chicken Tendies by _Bond_1 MORE MEMES

Animals, Deer, and Fucking: I HAVE TINY CRUSTACEANS STUCK IN MY GILLS! I'M HUNGRY FOR SEA BUGS! WHITETIP SHARK CLEANER WRASSE I NEED SOMEONE TO CARRY MY POLLEN TO OTHER FLOWERS I NEED NECTAR TO EAT! TICKSEED FLOWERS BUCKEYE BUTTERFLY l'M LOOKING FOR A BIG MEAL, BUT I NEED HELP FINDING A DEER I WANT TO EAT VENISON, BUT I'M TOO SMALL TO HUNT DEER! COMMON RAVEN COYOTE I NEED SOMEONE TO KEEP ANTS FROM EATING MY EGGS! I WANT A HOME WITH A BODYGUARD AND FREE ANT DELIVERY INCLUDED! COLOMBIAN LESSERBLACK TARANTULA DOTTED HUMMING FROG M. TILLERY - CYANEUS.COM /w/Av[ paramud: personal-scientist: draconym: themaishi: draconym: Mutualistic pairs for an “Odd Couples” Valentine’s program at my work. (Why do so many of my big work projects revolve around Valentine’s programs?) Also, by “sea bugs,” I obviously meant “gnathiid isopod larvae.” The himan one is not as good as the rest If you mean the mutualism between humans and honeyguides, I respectfully disagree. Human/honeyguide mutualism is one of the most sophisticated interspecies relationships in the animal kingdom. While humans have domesticated many other animals for their labor, the honeyguide remains entirely wild while electing to partner up with humans. Both humans and honeyguides have each developed specific calls to signal to one another that they are on the hunt, and these calls greatly increase the likelihood of success. According to this paper: The production of this sound increased the probability of being guided by a honeyguide from about 33 to 66% and the overall probability of thus finding a bees’ nest from 17 to 54%, as compared with other animal or human sounds of similar amplitude. That’s fucking bonkers, you guys!!! There are people out there who over the course of human history have created a sound to communicate with birds, and the birds themselves have a Human Call they use to communicate with us. There is no other wild animal you can just make noises at and immediately communicate that you want it to come help you!!! What’s more, many scientists consider this relationship more exploitative on the honeyguide’s end than on our end! That’s unprecedented!! These birds have essentially negotiated a trade deal with humanity!!!! This is the stuff of fantasy movies, except it’s real. Here’s an article from The Guardian about the broader implications of this kind of relationship with wild animals. It’s a good read: Apart from with our gut bacteria, we humans don’t really have any mutualistic relationships with other creatures. There is no special tune that we can sing to magically attract nearby hedgehogs into our gardens to feast on slugs. There will never be a special wink that fishermen can offer otters, encouraging them to catch fish that we might then de-bone for them, in return for some of the catch. The world is poorer for this. OKAY BUT the noise we make at honeyguides is one of my favorite noises there is, and if y’all haven’t heard the “BRRR-HM?” call that hunters use to summon honeyguides you are SERIOUSLY missing out. There’s an audio clip on the Audobon Society’s article about them [link] @metalpaca
Animals, Deer, and Fucking: I HAVE TINY CRUSTACEANS
 STUCK IN MY GILLS!
 I'M HUNGRY FOR SEA BUGS!
 WHITETIP SHARK
 CLEANER WRASSE
 I NEED SOMEONE TO CARRY
 MY POLLEN TO OTHER FLOWERS
 I NEED NECTAR TO EAT!
 TICKSEED FLOWERS
 BUCKEYE BUTTERFLY
 l'M LOOKING FOR A BIG MEAL,
 BUT I NEED HELP FINDING A DEER
 I WANT TO EAT VENISON, BUT
 I'M TOO SMALL TO HUNT DEER!
 COMMON RAVEN
 COYOTE
 I NEED SOMEONE TO KEEP
 ANTS FROM EATING MY EGGS!
 I WANT A HOME WITH A BODYGUARD
 AND FREE ANT DELIVERY INCLUDED!
 COLOMBIAN LESSERBLACK TARANTULA
 DOTTED HUMMING FROG
 M. TILLERY - CYANEUS.COM
 /w/Av[
paramud:

personal-scientist:
draconym:

themaishi:

draconym:

Mutualistic pairs for an “Odd Couples” Valentine’s program at my work. (Why do so many of my big work projects revolve around Valentine’s programs?)
Also, by “sea bugs,” I obviously meant “gnathiid isopod larvae.”


The himan one is not as good as the rest 

If you mean the mutualism between humans and honeyguides, I respectfully disagree. Human/honeyguide mutualism is one of the most sophisticated interspecies relationships in the animal kingdom.
While humans have domesticated many other animals for their labor, the honeyguide remains entirely wild while electing to partner up with humans. Both humans and honeyguides have each developed specific calls to signal to one another that they are on the hunt, and these calls greatly increase the likelihood of success. According to this paper:
The production of this sound increased the probability of being guided 
by a honeyguide from about 33 to 66% and the overall probability of thus
 finding a bees’ nest from 17 to 54%, as compared with other animal or 
human sounds of similar amplitude.
That’s fucking bonkers, you guys!!! There are people out there who over the course of human history have created a sound to communicate with birds, and the birds themselves have a Human Call they use to communicate with us. There is no other wild animal you can just make noises at and immediately communicate that you want it to come help you!!!
What’s more, many scientists consider this relationship more exploitative on the honeyguide’s end than on our end! That’s unprecedented!! These birds have essentially negotiated a trade deal with humanity!!!! This is the stuff of fantasy movies, except it’s real.
Here’s an article from The Guardian about the broader implications of this kind of relationship with wild animals. It’s a good read:

Apart from with our gut bacteria, we humans don’t really have any 
mutualistic relationships with other creatures. There is no special tune
 that we can sing to magically attract nearby hedgehogs into our gardens
 to feast on slugs. There will never be a special wink that fishermen 
can offer otters, encouraging them to catch fish that we might then 
de-bone for them, in return for some of the catch. The world is poorer 
for this.



OKAY BUT the noise we make at honeyguides is one of my favorite noises there is, and if y’all haven’t heard the “BRRR-HM?” call that hunters use to summon honeyguides you are SERIOUSLY missing out. 
There’s an audio clip on the Audobon Society’s article about them [link]


@metalpaca

paramud: personal-scientist: draconym: themaishi: draconym: Mutualistic pairs for an “Odd Couples” Valentine’s program at my work. (Why ...

Target, Tumblr, and Blog: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US? PLEASE JUST STOP.. jeevesandcrow: every night this sir unit calls the massive and eats a kit kat incorrectly the tallests have no idea who he is please send help
Target, Tumblr, and Blog: WHAT DO YOU WANT
 FROM US?

 PLEASE
 JUST
 STOP..
jeevesandcrow:
every night this sir unit calls the massive and eats a kit kat incorrectly the tallests have no idea who he is please send help

jeevesandcrow: every night this sir unit calls the massive and eats a kit kat incorrectly the tallests have no idea who he is please send he...