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Tumblr, Blog, and Http: shitty-car-mods-daily:A MOTHER STANDS TALL WATCHING FOR THREATS AS HER NEWBORN CALF STRUGGLES TO STAND UP
Tumblr, Blog, and Http: shitty-car-mods-daily:A MOTHER STANDS TALL WATCHING FOR THREATS AS HER NEWBORN CALF STRUGGLES TO STAND UP

shitty-car-mods-daily:A MOTHER STANDS TALL WATCHING FOR THREATS AS HER NEWBORN CALF STRUGGLES TO STAND UP

Being Alone, Boner, and Do a Barrel Roll: People Can't Handle The Way Morrissey Describes A Boner In His Novel A bulbous salutation to you all. posted on Sept. 24, 2015, at 9:52 a.m Alan White BuzzFeed News Reporter, UK So, during a sex scene in Morrissey's recently published novel List of the Lost, this happens. Eliza's breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra's howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza's body except for the otherwise central zone." 03 thebibliosphere: doebarnes: mugsandpugs: jottingprosaist: shredsandpatches: hedwig-dordt: naznomad: martingoresangst: Thats the weirdest erotic sentence i’ve read all month this fucking post singlehandedly ruined my life You don’t really appreciate how fucking great fan fic is when it comes to writing sex untill you stop to recognise how Serious Literary Stars fail at writing sex. DO A BARREL ROLL #in all my years of reading fic i have never encountered a sentence this terrible #did he just say that his dick smacked EVERY MUSCLE in her body except you know her vagina? #like I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CHEEK I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE SHOULDER I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CALF #what is your dick doing?? #how do you think sex works morrissey?? Forget what his dick is doing, what are her breasts doing? How do a pair of fat sacks attached to a ribcage barrel-roll anywhere? Let alone across a man’s mouth and then his wanger immediately after? Sir, why is your mouth so dong-adjacent? Is your weiner detachable, is that it? Do you have your joystick clutched in your hand so that you can score a sweet schlong-to-titty-roll immediately after a kiss and then proceed to beat your banana all over her body in the world’s most failed attempt at erotic massage??? HOW DO YOU THINK SEX WORKS??? … guys ….. Are the sex scenes in My Immortal better than this?“HE PUT HIS THINGY IN MY YOU-KNOW-WHAT AND WE HAD SEX.” … I mean. Comparatively… Like, in My Immortal, it’s at least implied he knows where he’s supposed to put it. It’s very simplistic, Ikea-style sex (insert tab A into slot B) but that’s better than this vague, useless composition of random, nonsensical placement and movement of body parts. So yes, the sex in My Immortal is, in this sense, better. @goddessemily   was it this post?
Being Alone, Boner, and Do a Barrel Roll: People Can't Handle The
 Way Morrissey Describes A
 Boner In His Novel
 A bulbous salutation to you all.
 posted on Sept. 24, 2015, at 9:52 a.m
 Alan White
 BuzzFeed News Reporter, UK
 So, during a sex scene in Morrissey's
 recently published novel List of the
 Lost, this happens.
 Eliza's breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra's
 howling mouth and the pained frenzy of
 his bulbous salutation extenuating his
 excitement as it smacked its way into
 every muscle of Eliza's body except for
 the otherwise central zone."
 03
thebibliosphere:

doebarnes:

mugsandpugs:

jottingprosaist:

shredsandpatches:

hedwig-dordt:

naznomad:

martingoresangst:

Thats the weirdest erotic sentence i’ve read all month

this fucking post singlehandedly ruined my life

You don’t really appreciate how fucking great fan fic is when it comes to writing sex untill you stop to recognise how Serious Literary Stars fail at writing sex.

DO A BARREL ROLL



#in all my years of reading fic i have never encountered a sentence this terrible #did he just say that his dick smacked EVERY MUSCLE in her body except you know her vagina? #like I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CHEEK I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE SHOULDER I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CALF #what is your dick doing?? #how do you think sex works morrissey??


Forget what his dick is doing, what are her breasts doing? How do a pair of fat sacks attached to a ribcage barrel-roll anywhere? Let alone across a man’s mouth and then his wanger immediately after? Sir, why is your mouth so dong-adjacent? Is your weiner detachable, is that it? Do you have your joystick clutched in your hand so that you can score a sweet schlong-to-titty-roll immediately after a kiss and then proceed to beat your banana all over her body in the world’s most failed attempt at erotic massage??? HOW DO YOU THINK SEX WORKS???

… guys
….. Are the sex scenes in My Immortal better than this?“HE PUT HIS THINGY IN MY YOU-KNOW-WHAT AND WE HAD SEX.”
… I mean. Comparatively…

Like, in My Immortal, it’s at least implied he knows where he’s supposed to put it. It’s very simplistic, Ikea-style sex (insert tab A into slot B) but that’s better than this vague, useless composition of random, nonsensical placement and movement of body parts.

So yes, the sex in My Immortal is, in this sense, better.


@goddessemily   was it this post?

thebibliosphere: doebarnes: mugsandpugs: jottingprosaist: shredsandpatches: hedwig-dordt: naznomad: martingoresangst: Thats the weir...

Head, Target, and Tumblr: Cleveland Clinic ICE VS. HEAT WHAT'S BETTER FOR YOUR PAIN? Ice and heat are easy, natural, affordable ways to relieve pain. Ever wonder which one is better for your particular problem? Here is what our experts recommend PROBLEM SOLUTION Worn-away cartlage inARTHRITIS joints (knee, shoulder, elbow, fingers, etc.) Moist heat eases chronically stiff joints, relaxes tight muscles Chronic, inflammatory arthritis (big toe, instep, ankle, heel, knee, wrist, FLARE-UPSbs pain Ice calms flare-ups, GOUT finger, elbow, etc.) Pain from nerves or blood vessels in the head or from muscles in the neck HEADACHEIce numbs throbbing head pain Moist heat relaxes painful neck spasm Pulled muscles or injured tendons in the thigh, back, calf, etc. STRAINSIce eases inflammation (redness,sweling and or tenderness), numbs pain Heat eases stiffness after inflammation resolves Stretching or tearing of ligaments in joints like the knee, ankle, foot, elbow, etc. SPRAINS Ice eases inflammation numbs pain Heat relieves stiffness after inflammation resolves Acute irrtation afterTENDINITISce eases inflammation activity in tendons attached to joints like the shoulder, elbow, knee, wrist, heel, etc. numbs pain ronic iitation and TENDINOSIS stiffness in tendons Heat relieves stiffness after inflammation resolves attached to joints WHY ICE FOR INJURIES WHY HEAT FOR ARTHRITIS & INJURIES6 WEEKS OLD? 6 WEEKS OLD? Ice constricts blood vessels which numbs pain, relieves inflammation and limits bruising Heat increases blood flow which relaxes tight muscles and relieves aching joints. CAUTION Do not use heat for acute injuries. It increases inflammation and can delay healing. Sources: niams.nih.gov/Health-Info/Bursitis/#6 headaches.org/education/Headache_Topic_Sheets/Hot_and_Cold_Packs/Showers 2014 Cleveland Clinic Learn more at: clevelandclinic.org/HealthHub singingstranger: cranquis: mydrunkkitchen: americaninfographic: Ice or Heat? THIS IS SO INFORMATIVE! I get asked this question at least twice a week. So here ya go. This is really great, especially for a klutz like me!
Head, Target, and Tumblr: Cleveland Clinic
 ICE VS. HEAT
 WHAT'S BETTER FOR YOUR PAIN?
 Ice and heat are easy, natural, affordable ways to
 relieve pain. Ever wonder which one is better
 for your particular problem?
 Here is what our experts
 recommend

 PROBLEM
 SOLUTION
 Worn-away cartlage inARTHRITIS
 joints (knee, shoulder,
 elbow, fingers, etc.)
 Moist heat eases
 chronically stiff joints,
 relaxes tight muscles
 Chronic, inflammatory
 arthritis (big toe, instep,
 ankle, heel, knee, wrist, FLARE-UPSbs pain
 Ice calms flare-ups,
 GOUT
 finger, elbow, etc.)
 Pain from nerves or
 blood vessels in the
 head or from muscles
 in the neck
 HEADACHEIce numbs throbbing
 head pain
 Moist heat relaxes
 painful neck spasm
 Pulled muscles or
 injured tendons in the
 thigh, back, calf, etc.
 STRAINSIce eases inflammation
 (redness,sweling and or
 tenderness), numbs pain
 Heat eases
 stiffness after
 inflammation resolves
 Stretching or tearing of
 ligaments in joints like
 the knee, ankle, foot,
 elbow, etc.
 SPRAINS
 Ice eases inflammation
 numbs pain
 Heat relieves
 stiffness after
 inflammation resolves

 Acute irrtation afterTENDINITISce eases inflammation
 activity in tendons
 attached to joints like
 the shoulder, elbow,
 knee, wrist, heel, etc.
 numbs pain
 ronic iitation and TENDINOSIS
 stiffness in tendons
 Heat relieves
 stiffness after
 inflammation resolves
 attached to joints
 WHY ICE FOR INJURIES
 WHY HEAT FOR ARTHRITIS
 & INJURIES6 WEEKS OLD?
 6 WEEKS OLD?
 Ice constricts blood vessels
 which numbs pain, relieves
 inflammation and limits bruising
 Heat increases blood flow
 which relaxes tight muscles
 and relieves aching joints.
 CAUTION
 Do not use heat for acute injuries. It increases inflammation and can delay healing.
 Sources:
 niams.nih.gov/Health-Info/Bursitis/#6
 headaches.org/education/Headache_Topic_Sheets/Hot_and_Cold_Packs/Showers
 2014 Cleveland Clinic
 Learn more at: clevelandclinic.org/HealthHub
singingstranger:
cranquis:

mydrunkkitchen:

americaninfographic:
Ice or Heat?
THIS IS SO INFORMATIVE!

I get asked this question at least twice a week. So here ya go.

This is really great, especially for a klutz like me!

singingstranger: cranquis: mydrunkkitchen: americaninfographic: Ice or Heat? THIS IS SO INFORMATIVE! I get asked this question at least t...

Today, World, and Baby: Today I helped bring this little buddy into the world
Today, World, and Baby: Today I helped bring this little buddy into the world

Today I helped bring this little buddy into the world