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Ass, Bitch, and Fucking: dick-rider-dave-strider: strangelyobsessedwithstuff: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders: ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH. NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE. NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGESthanks for the tip karkat reference
Ass, Bitch, and Fucking: dick-rider-dave-strider: strangelyobsessedwithstuff: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders: ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH. NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE. NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGESthanks for the tip karkat reference

dick-rider-dave-strider: strangelyobsessedwithstuff: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders: ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT ...

Bad, Beautiful, and College: 5 hrs Ok. This is NOT a joke. We paid a photographer, who claimed to be a professional, $250 for a family photo shoot. Please see these FOR REAL photos she delivered to us....She said the shadows were really bad on the beautiful, clear, sunny day and that her professor never taught her to retouch photos. Feel Magery by Lesa Hall C 2017 Magery by Lesa Hall IMagery by Lesa Hall O 2017 willow-wanderings: libertarirynn: r3druger: tiffanarchy: libertarirynn: siryouarebeingmocked: derpomatic: Holy shit she NPC’d them! You get what you pay for… Since when is $250 considered “cheap” for a family photo? what lol When you value a freelancer’s actual talent enough to pay then real money for doing a real job. Yeah, $250 is definitely on the lower end for professional photographs. I have quite a few photographer friends. As a mercenary soul-caputurer myself, yeah, you get what you fucking pay for. Photography has the same costs as any other business. The price you charge has to cover the cost of materials (film if you’re shooting old school, prints, maintenance for your camera whether analog or digital), labor (time spent setting up and shooting), and overhead (gas, food, website hosting costs, etc. if you need it to do some part of the job, it’s in your overhead). Now those are just your operating costs, if you want to actually make money you have to add a percentage for profit (e.g. operating costs + 20%). Let me give you non-photographers a frame of reference here. Paying $250 for a single-day private photo session on location (which means travel costs on top of everything else), is the equivalent of paying $50 for a huge ornate wedding cake you ordered the day before the wedding.This ‘tog is still severely unprofessional and unqualified, though. I consider myself still a beginner but taking good photos in bright sunlight isn’t hard, I do it all the time. Like literally three-quarters of my flickr is all natural light shoots, it’s easier than studio shoots in some ways (light source, directionality, and intensity is constant on a clear day; you don’t have to worry about flash timing; the only thing you need to control for is your camera settings, etc.). I really don’t understand how they screwed this shoot so badly.Other things wrong with this cheap shoot:Out of focusLow contrastLow saturationBad white balanceGrainyThere’s really no excuse for this, it’s all very basic stuff. I took ONE photography class in college and I’ve only been shooting off and on for a couple of years, and I could still do a better shoot than this. It’s not that this person’s professor didn’t teach them how to retouch photos, their professor didn’t teach them how to shoot at all.
Bad, Beautiful, and College: 5 hrs Ok. This is NOT a joke. We paid a photographer, who claimed to be a professional, $250 for a family photo shoot. Please see these FOR REAL photos she delivered to us....She said the shadows were really bad on the beautiful, clear, sunny day and that her professor never taught her to retouch photos. Feel Magery by Lesa Hall C 2017 Magery by Lesa Hall IMagery by Lesa Hall O 2017 willow-wanderings: libertarirynn: r3druger: tiffanarchy: libertarirynn: siryouarebeingmocked: derpomatic: Holy shit she NPC’d them! You get what you pay for… Since when is $250 considered “cheap” for a family photo? what lol When you value a freelancer’s actual talent enough to pay then real money for doing a real job. Yeah, $250 is definitely on the lower end for professional photographs. I have quite a few photographer friends. As a mercenary soul-caputurer myself, yeah, you get what you fucking pay for. Photography has the same costs as any other business. The price you charge has to cover the cost of materials (film if you’re shooting old school, prints, maintenance for your camera whether analog or digital), labor (time spent setting up and shooting), and overhead (gas, food, website hosting costs, etc. if you need it to do some part of the job, it’s in your overhead). Now those are just your operating costs, if you want to actually make money you have to add a percentage for profit (e.g. operating costs + 20%). Let me give you non-photographers a frame of reference here. Paying $250 for a single-day private photo session on location (which means travel costs on top of everything else), is the equivalent of paying $50 for a huge ornate wedding cake you ordered the day before the wedding.This ‘tog is still severely unprofessional and unqualified, though. I consider myself still a beginner but taking good photos in bright sunlight isn’t hard, I do it all the time. Like literally three-quarters of my flickr is all natural light shoots, it’s easier than studio shoots in some ways (light source, directionality, and intensity is constant on a clear day; you don’t have to worry about flash timing; the only thing you need to control for is your camera settings, etc.). I really don’t understand how they screwed this shoot so badly.Other things wrong with this cheap shoot:Out of focusLow contrastLow saturationBad white balanceGrainyThere’s really no excuse for this, it’s all very basic stuff. I took ONE photography class in college and I’ve only been shooting off and on for a couple of years, and I could still do a better shoot than this. It’s not that this person’s professor didn’t teach them how to retouch photos, their professor didn’t teach them how to shoot at all.

willow-wanderings: libertarirynn: r3druger: tiffanarchy: libertarirynn: siryouarebeingmocked: derpomatic: Holy shit she NPC’d them! ...