🔥 | Latest

Bad, Crying, and Dick Pics: nikki @vianikki DUDE!! This fucking woman came to my house and asked me to come outside and help her out with her broken car. She was crying and sobbing. My mom wanted to go outside and help, but thank the fucking lord I trusted my intuition and said no. Be careful EVERYONE! This happened in FV 12:54 il LTE Mike Duarte < Sunday at 8:11 PM Don't open the door if you see this lady!!! It was posted on the Ring app that she asked for help pushing her broken down truck at 3am. Home owner wisely said no and turned off the lights. He then watched the woman go back to her truck and 2 men got in with her and they drove away. Another person said they saw her on the side of the road with her hood up. They stopped to ask if she needed assistance and saw two men come out of the bushes...they quickly drove away before anything bad could happen..BE CAREFUL PEOPLE!!! Write a comment... GIF (:) II nikki @vianikkii for those who are asking, this happened in Fountain Valley (OC area). Please focus on this issue and beware of your surroundings rather than sending me dick pics. Ty 12:20 AM Sep 19, 2019 Twitter Web App embraced-by-chaos: moniquill: whyyoustabbedme: uncommonbish: Don’t trust this white woman! Be careful! reblog asap Adulting tip: don’t want to abandon someone who might actually be in trouble but also don’t want to fall victim to a human trafficking scam? Offer to let this person keep standing on your porch while you call a mechanic or tow service (If they’re posing as victims of violence, like in a similar scam, same offer but say you’re calling the cops) A person in actual distress will be assisted and thankful. A scammer will storm off.   ^^^^^ This right here. Please don’t let random assholes keep your from helping people who really need it. Keep yourself safe without abandoning everyone else.
Bad, Crying, and Dick Pics: nikki
 @vianikki
 DUDE!! This fucking woman came to my house and
 asked me to come outside and help her out with her
 broken car. She was crying and sobbing. My mom
 wanted to go outside and help, but thank the fucking
 lord I trusted my intuition and said no. Be careful
 EVERYONE! This happened in FV

 12:54
 il LTE
 Mike Duarte
 <
 Sunday at 8:11 PM
 Don't open the door if you see this lady!!! It was
 posted on the Ring app that she asked for help
 pushing her broken down truck at 3am. Home owner
 wisely said no and turned off the lights. He then
 watched the woman go back to her truck and 2 men
 got in with her and they drove away. Another person
 said they saw her on the side of the road with her
 hood up. They stopped to ask if she needed
 assistance and saw two men come out of the
 bushes...they quickly drove away before anything bad
 could happen..BE CAREFUL PEOPLE!!!
 Write a comment...
 GIF
 (:)
 II

 nikki
 @vianikkii
 for those who are asking, this happened in Fountain
 Valley (OC area). Please focus on this issue and beware
 of your surroundings rather than sending me dick pics.
 Ty
 12:20 AM Sep 19, 2019 Twitter Web App
embraced-by-chaos:
moniquill:

whyyoustabbedme:

uncommonbish:
Don’t trust this white woman! Be careful! 
reblog asap 

Adulting tip: don’t want to abandon someone who might actually be in trouble but also don’t want to fall victim to a human trafficking scam? Offer to let this person keep standing on your porch while you call a mechanic or tow service (If they’re posing as victims of violence, like in a similar scam, same offer but say you’re calling the cops) A person in actual distress will be assisted and thankful. A scammer will storm off.  

^^^^^ This right here. Please don’t let random assholes keep your from helping people who really need it. Keep yourself safe without abandoning everyone else.

embraced-by-chaos: moniquill: whyyoustabbedme: uncommonbish: Don’t trust this white woman! Be careful! reblog asap Adulting tip: don’t ...

Dove, Funny, and Head: Language Why English is so hard to learn 11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid in his hospital bed. 12. There was a row among the oarsmen about who would row. 13. They were too close to the door to close it. 14. The buck does funny things when the does (females) are present. 15.A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17.The wind was too strong to wind the sail around the mast. Marlene Davis YOU think English is easy? Check out the following. 1. The bandage was wound around the wound. 2. The farm was cultivated to produce produce. 3. The dump was so full that the workers had to refuse more refuse. 4. We must polish the Polish furniture shown at the store. 5. He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6. The soldier decided to desert his tasty dessert in the desert. 7. Since there is no time like the pres- ent, he thought it was time to present the present to his girlfriend. 8.A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9.When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10.1 did not object to the object which he showed me. 18. Upon seeing the tear in her painting she shed a tear. 19.I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 20. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? Heteronyms These are brilliant. Homonyms or homographs are words of like spelling, but with more than one meaning and sound. When pronounced differently, they are known as heteronyms English is thoroughly tough
Dove, Funny, and Head: Language
 Why English is
 so hard to learn
 11. The insurance was invalid for the
 invalid in his hospital bed.
 12. There was a row among the
 oarsmen about who would row.
 13. They were too close to the door
 to close it.
 14. The buck does funny things when
 the does (females) are present.
 15.A seamstress and a sewer fell
 down into a sewer line.
 16. To help with planting, the farmer
 taught his sow to sow.
 17.The wind was too strong to wind
 the sail around the mast.
 Marlene Davis
 YOU think English
 is easy? Check out
 the following.
 1. The bandage
 was wound around
 the wound.
 2. The farm was cultivated to produce
 produce.
 3. The dump was so full that the
 workers had to refuse more refuse.
 4. We must polish the Polish furniture
 shown at the store.
 5. He could lead if he would get the
 lead out.
 6. The soldier decided to desert his
 tasty dessert in the desert.
 7. Since there is no time like the pres-
 ent, he thought it was time to present the
 present to his girlfriend.
 8.A bass was painted on the head of
 the bass drum.
 9.When shot at, the dove dove into
 the bushes.
 10.1 did not object to the object
 which he showed me.
 18. Upon seeing the tear in her
 painting she shed a tear.
 19.I had to subject the subject to a
 series of tests.
 20. How can I intimate this to my
 most intimate friend?
 Heteronyms
 These are brilliant. Homonyms
 or homographs are words of like
 spelling, but with more than one
 meaning and sound.
 When pronounced differently,
 they are known as heteronyms
English is thoroughly tough

English is thoroughly tough

Ass, Cinderella , and Click: kaylapocalypse:  ok  so i know what you’re thinking “oh i remember that scene i don’t need to click on the video to recall it”. But you should. Like… if you’re anywhere near your mid-twenties, chances are that you watched shrek (1) when you were a kid and maybe a few times again in your late teens, but your memory absolutely doesn’t do it justice. The comedic timing through this whole movie is insane. Also, the fact that the animation style is aging literally just adds to the hilarity instead of poorly dating it. The nuance of every gesture is so well done and specific.  I am literally convinced that this movie is a masterpiece and that will be historically relevant maybe 100 years from now as a perfect time capsule of our culture. This scene in particular illustrates it especially well; particularly for being only like 1 minute long. Highlights/Breakdown The timing in the way Robin says savior and the way he says beast.  the character solidifying disregard and disrespect of “Please! Monster!” Fiona’s sheer brute strength when she pokes him in the shoulder so hard it spins him around–strength that he disregards which is why hes surprised as hell when he gets his ass beat Just the entire french accent that isn’t even a good french accent at all. The accordion man in the tree, the prop bushes. that one of the prop bushes falls down to reveal that its a wood cut-out subtly in the background  Shrek and fiona watching with horror as he begins his song. Donkey never cracking his excited smile, fully immersed in the Lore™; which is actually part of a longer running joke through the film which is that occasionally when certain characters do things would be reacted to poorly irl, the surrounding characters react like you would if you saw that irl not like characters in a story. Like instead of getting drawn into the lore of their circumstances they just stand there, staring like “yikesssss” shrek’s exhaustion and impatience when the song goes into the “saucy little maid” bit.  “what hes basically saying is he likes to get paid.”  the chaos of that statement. combined with shrek and fiona having a eye contact conversation above the performance, exchanging “wtf” gestures.  When the song escalates into a dance fight, Shrek’s exhaustion turns into general mounting amusement like “wow is this really turning into a dance fight. wow hes really snapping in unison” which is additionally apart of the above long running joke Fiona interrupting robin with a kick. the fuckin sound his head makes when it hits the rock.  The fight after isn’t as dynamic timing wise, just a classic animated fight scene but that song though. *kisses fingers like a chef* Watching this does give me an appreciation for 2D animation though because say what you will but Cinderella has aged a lot better than Shrek in terms of visual quality.With 2D you get fairly consistent quality. With old 3D you get uncanny valley nightmares.
Ass, Cinderella , and Click: kaylapocalypse:
 ok 
so i know what you’re thinking “oh i remember that scene i don’t need to click on the video to recall it”. But you should. Like… if you’re anywhere near your mid-twenties, chances are that you watched shrek (1) when you were a kid and maybe a few times again in your late teens, but your memory absolutely doesn’t do it justice.
The comedic timing through this whole movie is insane. Also, the fact that the animation style is aging literally just adds to the hilarity instead of poorly dating it. The nuance of every gesture is so well done and specific. 
I am literally convinced that this movie is a masterpiece and that will be historically relevant maybe 100 years from now as a perfect time capsule of our culture.
This scene in particular illustrates it especially well; particularly for being only like 1 minute long.
Highlights/Breakdown
The timing in the way Robin says savior and the way he says beast. 
the character solidifying disregard and disrespect of “Please! Monster!”
Fiona’s sheer brute strength when she pokes him in the shoulder so hard it spins him around–strength that he disregards which is why hes surprised as hell when he gets his ass beat
Just the entire french accent that isn’t even a good french accent at all.
The accordion man in the tree, the prop bushes. that one of the prop bushes falls down to reveal that its a wood cut-out subtly in the background 
Shrek and fiona watching with horror as he begins his song. Donkey never cracking his excited smile, fully immersed in the Lore™; which is actually part of a longer running joke through the film which is that occasionally when certain characters do things would be reacted to poorly irl, the surrounding characters react like you would if you saw that irl not like characters in a story. Like instead of getting drawn into the lore of their circumstances they just stand there, staring like “yikesssss”
shrek’s exhaustion and impatience when the song goes into the “saucy little maid” bit. 
“what hes basically saying is he likes to get paid.”  the chaos of that statement. combined with shrek and fiona having a eye contact conversation above the performance, exchanging “wtf” gestures. 
When the song escalates into a dance fight, Shrek’s exhaustion turns into general mounting amusement like “wow is this really turning into a dance fight. wow hes really snapping in unison” which is additionally apart of the above long running joke
Fiona interrupting robin with a kick.
the fuckin sound his head makes when it hits the rock. 
The fight after isn’t as dynamic timing wise, just a classic animated fight scene but that song though. *kisses fingers like a chef*
Watching this does give me an appreciation for 2D animation though because say what you will but Cinderella has aged a lot better than Shrek in terms of visual quality.With 2D you get fairly consistent quality. With old 3D you get uncanny valley nightmares.

kaylapocalypse:  ok  so i know what you’re thinking “oh i remember that scene i don’t need to click on the video to recall it”. But you shou...

Dove, Funny, and Head: Language Matters Why English is so hard to learn 11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid in his hospital bed. Marlene Davis YOU think English is easy? Check out the following. 12. There was a row among the oarsmen about who would row. 13. They were too close to the door to close it. 1. The bandage was wound around the wound. 14. The buck does funny things when the does (females) are present. 15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 2. The farm was cultivated to produce produce. 16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 3. The dump was so full that the workers had to refuse more refuse. 17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail around the mast. 4. We must polish the Polish furniture shown at the store. 5. He could lead if he would get the lead out. 18. Upon seeing the tear in her painting she shed a tear. 19.I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 6. The soldier decided to desert his tasty dessert in the desert. 20. How can I intimate this to my 7. Since there is no time like the pres- ent, he thought it was time to present the present to his girlfriend 8. A bass was painted on the head of 9. When shot at, the dove dove into 10. I did not object to the object most intimate friend? Heteronyms or homographs are words of like These are brilliant. Homone the bass drum. the bushes. which he showed me. spelling, but with more than one meaning and sound. When pronounced differently they are known as heteronyms I’m not sure why anyone would desert their tasty dessert in the desert.. but you get the point.
Dove, Funny, and Head: Language Matters
 Why English is
 so hard to learn
 11. The insurance was invalid for the
 invalid in his hospital bed.
 Marlene Davis
 YOU think English
 is easy? Check out
 the following.
 12. There was a row among the
 oarsmen about who would row.
 13. They were too close to the door
 to close it.
 1. The bandage
 was wound around
 the wound.
 14. The buck does funny things when
 the does (females) are present.
 15. A seamstress and a sewer fell
 down into a sewer line.
 2. The farm was cultivated to produce
 produce.
 16. To help with planting, the farmer
 taught his sow to sow.
 3. The dump was so full that the
 workers had to refuse more refuse.
 17. The wind was too strong to wind
 the sail around the mast.
 4. We must polish the Polish furniture
 shown at the store.
 5. He could lead if he would get the
 lead out.
 18. Upon seeing the tear in her
 painting she shed a tear.
 19.I had to subject the subject to a
 series of tests.
 6. The soldier decided to desert his
 tasty dessert in the desert.
 20. How can I intimate this to my
 7. Since there is no time like the pres-
 ent, he thought it was time to present the
 present to his girlfriend
 8. A bass was painted on the head of
 9. When shot at, the dove dove into
 10. I did not object to the object
 most intimate friend?
 Heteronyms
 or homographs are words of like
 These are brilliant. Homone
 the bass drum.
 the bushes.
 which he showed me.
 spelling, but with more than one
 meaning and sound.
 When pronounced differently
 they are known as heteronyms
I’m not sure why anyone would desert their tasty dessert in the desert.. but you get the point.

I’m not sure why anyone would desert their tasty dessert in the desert.. but you get the point.

Dove, Funny, and Head: Language Matters Why English is so hard to learn 11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid in his hospital bed. Marlene Davis YOU think English is easy? Check out the following. 12. There was a row among the oarsmen about who would row. 13. They were too close to the door to close it. 1. The bandage was wound around the wound. 14. The buck does funny things when the does (females) are present. 15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 2. The farm was cultivated to produce produce. 16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 3. The dump was so full that the workers had to refuse more refuse. 17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail around the mast. 4. We must polish the Polish furniture shown at the store. 5. He could lead if he would get the lead out. 18. Upon seeing the tear in her painting she shed a tear. 19.I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 6. The soldier decided to desert his tasty dessert in the desert. 20. How can I intimate this to my 7. Since there is no time like the pres- ent, he thought it was time to present the present to his girlfriend 8. A bass was painted on the head of 9. When shot at, the dove dove into 10. I did not object to the object most intimate friend? Heteronyms or homographs are words of like These are brilliant. Homone the bass drum. the bushes. which he showed me. spelling, but with more than one meaning and sound. When pronounced differently they are known as heteronyms I’m not sure why anyone would desert their tasty dessert in the desert.. but you get the point.
Dove, Funny, and Head: Language Matters
 Why English is
 so hard to learn
 11. The insurance was invalid for the
 invalid in his hospital bed.
 Marlene Davis
 YOU think English
 is easy? Check out
 the following.
 12. There was a row among the
 oarsmen about who would row.
 13. They were too close to the door
 to close it.
 1. The bandage
 was wound around
 the wound.
 14. The buck does funny things when
 the does (females) are present.
 15. A seamstress and a sewer fell
 down into a sewer line.
 2. The farm was cultivated to produce
 produce.
 16. To help with planting, the farmer
 taught his sow to sow.
 3. The dump was so full that the
 workers had to refuse more refuse.
 17. The wind was too strong to wind
 the sail around the mast.
 4. We must polish the Polish furniture
 shown at the store.
 5. He could lead if he would get the
 lead out.
 18. Upon seeing the tear in her
 painting she shed a tear.
 19.I had to subject the subject to a
 series of tests.
 6. The soldier decided to desert his
 tasty dessert in the desert.
 20. How can I intimate this to my
 7. Since there is no time like the pres-
 ent, he thought it was time to present the
 present to his girlfriend
 8. A bass was painted on the head of
 9. When shot at, the dove dove into
 10. I did not object to the object
 most intimate friend?
 Heteronyms
 or homographs are words of like
 These are brilliant. Homone
 the bass drum.
 the bushes.
 which he showed me.
 spelling, but with more than one
 meaning and sound.
 When pronounced differently
 they are known as heteronyms
I’m not sure why anyone would desert their tasty dessert in the desert.. but you get the point.

I’m not sure why anyone would desert their tasty dessert in the desert.. but you get the point.

Dove, Funny, and Head: Language Matters Why English is so hard to learn 11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid in his hospital bed. Marlene Davis YOU think English is easy? Check out the following. 12. There was a row among the oarsmen about who would row. 13. They were too close to the door to close it. 1. The bandage was wound around the wound. 14. The buck does funny things when the does (females) are present. 15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 2. The farm was cultivated to produce produce. 16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 3. The dump was so full that the workers had to refuse more refuse. 17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail around the mast. 4. We must polish the Polish furniture shown at the store. 5. He could lead if he would get the lead out. 18. Upon seeing the tear in her painting she shed a tear. 19.I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 6. The soldier decided to desert his tasty dessert in the desert. 20. How can I intimate this to my 7. Since there is no time like the pres- ent, he thought it was time to present the present to his girlfriend 8. A bass was painted on the head of 9. When shot at, the dove dove into 10. I did not object to the object most intimate friend? Heteronyms or homographs are words of like These are brilliant. Homone the bass drum. the bushes. which he showed me. spelling, but with more than one meaning and sound. When pronounced differently they are known as heteronyms I’m not sure why anyone would desert their tasty dessert in the desert.. but you get the point.
Dove, Funny, and Head: Language Matters
 Why English is
 so hard to learn
 11. The insurance was invalid for the
 invalid in his hospital bed.
 Marlene Davis
 YOU think English
 is easy? Check out
 the following.
 12. There was a row among the
 oarsmen about who would row.
 13. They were too close to the door
 to close it.
 1. The bandage
 was wound around
 the wound.
 14. The buck does funny things when
 the does (females) are present.
 15. A seamstress and a sewer fell
 down into a sewer line.
 2. The farm was cultivated to produce
 produce.
 16. To help with planting, the farmer
 taught his sow to sow.
 3. The dump was so full that the
 workers had to refuse more refuse.
 17. The wind was too strong to wind
 the sail around the mast.
 4. We must polish the Polish furniture
 shown at the store.
 5. He could lead if he would get the
 lead out.
 18. Upon seeing the tear in her
 painting she shed a tear.
 19.I had to subject the subject to a
 series of tests.
 6. The soldier decided to desert his
 tasty dessert in the desert.
 20. How can I intimate this to my
 7. Since there is no time like the pres-
 ent, he thought it was time to present the
 present to his girlfriend
 8. A bass was painted on the head of
 9. When shot at, the dove dove into
 10. I did not object to the object
 most intimate friend?
 Heteronyms
 or homographs are words of like
 These are brilliant. Homone
 the bass drum.
 the bushes.
 which he showed me.
 spelling, but with more than one
 meaning and sound.
 When pronounced differently
 they are known as heteronyms
I’m not sure why anyone would desert their tasty dessert in the desert.. but you get the point.

I’m not sure why anyone would desert their tasty dessert in the desert.. but you get the point.

Vietnam, Vietnamese, and Vietnam War: A vietnamese soldier hiding in the bushes during Vietnam War (1971)
Vietnam, Vietnamese, and Vietnam War: A vietnamese soldier hiding in the bushes during Vietnam War (1971)

A vietnamese soldier hiding in the bushes during Vietnam War (1971)

Funny, Via, and Bill: Bill hiding between two bushes via /r/funny https://ift.tt/2zOadIF
Funny, Via, and Bill: Bill hiding between two bushes via /r/funny https://ift.tt/2zOadIF

Bill hiding between two bushes via /r/funny https://ift.tt/2zOadIF

Children, Christmas, and Cookies: "In our family, we have a special way of transitioning the kids from receiving from Santa, to becoming a Santa. This way, the Santa construct is not a lie that gets discovered, but an unfolding series of good deeds and Christmas spirit When they are 6 or 7, whenever you see that dawning suspicion that Santa may not be a material being, that means the child is ready | take them out "for coffee" at the local wherever. We get a booth, order our drinks, and the following pronouncement is made "You sure have arown an awful lot this year. Not only are you taller, but l can see that your heart has grown, too. [ Point out 2-3 examples of empathetic behavior, consideration of people's feelings, good deeds etc, the kıd has done in the past year]. In fact, your heart has grown so much that I think you are ready to become a Santa Claus You probably have noticed that most of the Santas you see are people dressed up ike him. Some of vour friends miaht have even told you that there is no Santa. A lot of children think that, because they arent ready to BE a Santa yet, but YOU ARE Tell me the best things about Santa. What does Santa get for all of his trouble? [lead the kid from cookies to the good feeling of having done something for someone else]. Well, now YOU are ready to do your first job as a Santa!" Make sure you maintain the proper conspiratorial tone We then have the child choose someone they know-a neighbor, usually. Ihe child'S mission is to secretly, deviously, find out something that the person needs, and then provide it, wrap it, deliver it-and never reveal to the target where it came from. Being a Santa isn't about getting credit, you see. It's unselfish giving My oldest chose the "witch lady" on the corner. She really Was horrible--had a fence around the house and would never let the kids go in and get a stray ball or Frisbee. Shed yell at them to play quieter, etc--a real pill. He noticed when we drove to school that she came out every morning to get her paper in bare feet, so he decided she needed slippers. So then he had to go spy and decide how big her feet were. He hid in the bushes one Saturday, and decided she was a medium. We went to Kmart and bought warm slippers. He wrapped them up, and tagged it "merry Christmas from Santa. After dinner one evening, he slipped down to her house, and slid the package under her driveway gate. The next morning, we watched her waddle out to get the paper, pick up the present, and go inside. My son was all excited, and couldn't wait to see what would happen next. The next morning, as we drove off, there she was, out getting her paper--wearing the slippers. He was ecstatic. I had to remind him that NO ONE could ever know what he did, or he wouldn't be a Santa Over the years, he chose a good number of targets, always coming up with a unique present just for them. One year, he polished up his bike, put a new seat on it, and gave it to one of our friend's daughters. These people were and are very poor. We did ask the dad if it was ok The look on her face, when she saw the bike on the patio with a big bow on it, was almost as good as the look on my son's face When it came time for Son #2 to join the ranks, my oldest came along, and helpeo with the induction speech. They are both excellent gifters, by the way, and never felt that they had been lied to-because they were let in on the Secret of Beinga Santa geekinglikeaboss: cunningcelt: hilarious-nefarious: Source This is bloody genius
Children, Christmas, and Cookies: "In our family, we have a special way of
 transitioning the kids from receiving from
 Santa, to becoming a Santa. This way, the
 Santa construct is not a lie that gets
 discovered, but an unfolding series of
 good deeds and Christmas spirit
 When they are 6 or 7, whenever you see
 that dawning suspicion that Santa may
 not be a material being, that means the
 child is ready
 | take them out "for coffee" at the local
 wherever. We get a booth, order our
 drinks, and the following pronouncement
 is made
 "You sure have arown an awful lot this
 year. Not only are you taller, but l can see
 that your heart has grown, too. [ Point out
 2-3 examples of empathetic behavior,
 consideration of people's feelings, good
 deeds etc, the kıd has done in the past
 year]. In fact, your heart has grown so
 much that I think you are ready to
 become a Santa Claus

 You probably have noticed that most of
 the Santas you see are people dressed up
 ike him. Some of vour friends miaht have
 even told you that there is no Santa. A lot
 of children think that, because they arent
 ready to BE a Santa yet, but YOU ARE
 Tell me the best things about Santa. What
 does Santa get for all of his trouble? [lead
 the kid from cookies to the good feeling
 of having done something for someone
 else]. Well, now YOU are ready to do your
 first job as a Santa!"
 Make sure you maintain the proper
 conspiratorial tone
 We then have the child choose someone
 they know-a neighbor, usually. Ihe child'S
 mission is to secretly, deviously, find out
 something that the person needs, and
 then provide it, wrap it, deliver it-and
 never reveal to the target where it came
 from. Being a Santa isn't about getting
 credit, you see. It's unselfish giving

 My oldest chose the "witch lady" on the
 corner. She really Was horrible--had a
 fence around the house and would never
 let the kids go in and get a stray ball or
 Frisbee. Shed yell at them to play quieter,
 etc--a real pill. He noticed when we drove
 to school that she came out every
 morning to get her paper in bare feet, so
 he decided she needed slippers. So then
 he had to go spy and decide how big her
 feet were. He hid in the bushes one
 Saturday, and decided she was a
 medium. We went to Kmart and bought
 warm slippers. He wrapped them up, and
 tagged it "merry Christmas from Santa.
 After dinner one evening, he slipped down
 to her house, and slid the package under
 her driveway gate. The next morning, we
 watched her waddle out to get the paper,
 pick up the present, and go inside. My son
 was all excited, and couldn't wait to see
 what would happen next. The next
 morning, as we drove off, there she was,
 out getting her paper--wearing the
 slippers. He was ecstatic. I had to remind
 him that NO ONE could ever know what
 he did, or he wouldn't be a Santa

 Over the years, he chose a good number
 of targets, always coming up with a
 unique present just for them. One year, he
 polished up his bike, put a new seat on it,
 and gave it to one of our friend's
 daughters. These people were and are
 very poor. We did ask the dad if it was ok
 The look on her face, when she saw the
 bike on the patio with a big bow on it, was
 almost as good as the look on my son's
 face
 When it came time for Son #2 to join the
 ranks, my oldest came along, and helpeo
 with the induction speech. They are both
 excellent gifters, by the way, and never
 felt that they had been lied to-because
 they were let in on the Secret of Beinga
 Santa
geekinglikeaboss:

cunningcelt:

hilarious-nefarious:
Source

This is bloody genius

geekinglikeaboss: cunningcelt: hilarious-nefarious: Source This is bloody genius

Ass, Bitch, and Disney: yelnatszeroni: blackgirlsvevo: blackgirlsvevo: blackgirlsvevo: pixar really had to hardcore yank tony’s ‘i smoke a line of cocaine behind the school dumpster during second period’ character design to replace it with a facetuned love interest from a disney channel original movie . u already kno some pixar director mustve went back to the source material and noticed tony’s busted ass face and they had to scrap that shit immediately . he was literally too ugly to allow even a trace of his original face associate w/ the masterpiece they were abt to be making . rebooted his whole ass face then gave him his dark turtleneck and called it a day smh . mess i’m screaming at the people reblogging this and saying that new tony is generic and old tony had some “character” like why do you people think that a man being ugly means he has personality . tony circa 2004 looks like he’d piss in the bushes outside your mom’s house and new tony looks like he’d wait 57 minutes for his food at a restaurant and still be nice to the waiter because they’re “just doing their best”. accept that pixar pulled the gag of the century and gave us the tony we deserve pixar, completely remodeling tony’s clapped face: fuck a bitch named consistent character design and maintenance of the integrity of the original work. new tony is going to look like he would pay $60 for a gram of weed whether you losers like it or NOT old tony stans lil pump 
Ass, Bitch, and Disney: yelnatszeroni:

blackgirlsvevo:

blackgirlsvevo:

blackgirlsvevo:
pixar really had to hardcore yank tony’s ‘i smoke a line of cocaine behind the school dumpster during second period’ character design to replace it with a facetuned love interest from a disney channel original movie . u already kno some pixar director mustve went back to the source material and noticed tony’s busted ass face and they had to scrap that shit immediately . he was literally too ugly to allow even a trace of his original face associate w/ the masterpiece they were abt to be making . rebooted his whole ass face then gave him his dark turtleneck and called it a day smh . mess
i’m screaming at the people reblogging this and saying that new tony is generic and old tony had some “character” like why do you people think that a man being ugly means he has personality . tony circa 2004 looks like he’d piss in the bushes outside your mom’s house and new tony looks like he’d wait 57 minutes for his food at a restaurant and still be nice to the waiter because they’re “just doing their best”. accept that pixar pulled the gag of the century and gave us the tony we deserve



pixar, completely remodeling tony’s clapped face: fuck a bitch named consistent character design and maintenance of the integrity of the original work. new tony is going to look like he would pay $60 for a gram of weed whether you losers like it or NOT

old tony stans lil pump 

yelnatszeroni: blackgirlsvevo: blackgirlsvevo: blackgirlsvevo: pixar really had to hardcore yank tony’s ‘i smoke a line of cocaine behind...

Being Alone, Children, and Dating: Logan Trent @TheLoganTrent Follow Millennials are killing the golf industry Business Insider Millennials are obsessed with the style of life'- and it's killing retailers Millennials are killing the movie business I New York Post Millennials are Killing the Golf Industry - the BLITZ agency blog Will The Millennial Generation Kill Home Depot? - Forbes Millennials are killing relationships and we should be concerned Take Two | Are millennials killing the running trend? Maybe. | 89.3 KPCC Are Millennials Killing Wine? An exposé. | Quench Magazine "Promiscuous" Millennials Are Killing McDonald's: Gothamist How Millennials Lack Of Manners Is Killing Class Unwritten Millennials Are Killing Off Paper Napkins | Mclntyre in the Morning Are Millennials Killing The Car Industry? | DrivingSales News Here's HoW Millennials Have Killed Crowfunding | Bossip Are Millennials Killing Credit? Top Rated High Risk Merchant RETWEETS LIKES 130 102 2:14 PM 23 Aug 2016 130102 cornerof5thandvermouth: haiku-robot: tardis-in-a-moonbeam: zooophagous: ralfmaximus: princeloki: f1rstperson: Glad to see my lifelong disinterest in golf is paying off let me tell you about golf i grew up in a little desert valley called Tucson, Arizona, where it only rains 2 inches a year on average. the majority of the city’s water is pumped from an underground aquifer, which took millions of years to fill. one of the biggest conservation efforts in our city was for water, naturally, and i spent a lot of time learning about low flow toilets and 5 minute showers. i learned that filling your sink basin and washing your dishes in that water is less costly than running the tap. i learned that it only takes 2 days without water on the desert for someone to die the city was sinking as the aquifer drained. neighborhoods fell into flood zones that didnt exist 10 years ago there’s a road called Golf Links in the city and it is lined with golf courses. miles of green grass where grass doesn’t grow, in a valley where it doesn’t rain. why? because the rich white retirees who moved there to stop the aching in their joints decided they should also get to play golf. meanwhile our public schools taught small children like me that taking long showers would kill the world let the golf industry burn There are 15,500+ golf courses in the United States alone.  Each one consumes ~312,000 gallons of water per day. That consumption is equivalent to 55+ million humans per day in the United States… roughly 1/6 the entire population. We simply cannot sustain this frivolity, especially for something 99% of us will never use. Destroy golf courses and plant wild grasses and butterfly bushes in their place. Mmm wild blackberries would be great They used to be all around before recent land development here they used to be all around before recent land development here ^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes.Help me buy a flower for Alexa®! And yes, we are dating. | PayPal | Patreon Out where I am we’ve been turning defunct golf courses into public parks and nature trails after letting them overgrow a bit. It’s nice! You get a lot of interesting successional species as the land is reclaimed, and it’s great birdwatching territory.
Being Alone, Children, and Dating: Logan Trent
 @TheLoganTrent
 Follow
 Millennials are killing the golf industry Business Insider
 Millennials are obsessed with the style of life'- and it's killing retailers
 Millennials are killing the movie business I New York Post
 Millennials are Killing the Golf Industry - the BLITZ agency blog
 Will The Millennial Generation Kill Home Depot? - Forbes
 Millennials are killing relationships and we should be concerned
 Take Two | Are millennials killing the running trend? Maybe. | 89.3 KPCC
 Are Millennials Killing Wine? An exposé. | Quench Magazine
 "Promiscuous" Millennials Are Killing McDonald's: Gothamist
 How Millennials Lack Of Manners Is Killing Class Unwritten
 Millennials Are Killing Off Paper Napkins | Mclntyre in the Morning
 Are Millennials Killing The Car Industry? | DrivingSales News
 Here's HoW Millennials Have Killed Crowfunding | Bossip
 Are Millennials Killing Credit? Top Rated High Risk Merchant
 RETWEETS
 LIKES
 130
 102
 2:14 PM 23 Aug 2016
 130102
cornerof5thandvermouth:

haiku-robot:
tardis-in-a-moonbeam:


zooophagous:

ralfmaximus:

princeloki:

f1rstperson:

Glad to see my lifelong disinterest in golf is paying off

let me tell you about golf
i grew up in a little desert valley called Tucson, Arizona, where it only rains 2 inches a year on average. the majority of the city’s water is pumped from an underground aquifer, which took millions of years to fill. one of the biggest conservation efforts in our city was for water, naturally, and i spent a lot of time learning about low flow toilets and 5 minute showers. i learned that filling your sink basin and washing your dishes in that water is less costly than running the tap. i learned that it only takes 2 days without water on the desert for someone to die
the city was sinking as the aquifer drained. neighborhoods fell into flood zones that didnt exist 10 years ago
there’s a road called Golf Links in the city and it is lined with golf courses. miles of green grass where grass doesn’t grow, in a valley where it doesn’t rain. why? because the rich white retirees who moved there to stop the aching in their joints decided they should also get to play golf. meanwhile our public schools taught small children like me that taking long showers would kill the world
let the golf industry burn

There are 15,500+ golf courses in the United States alone. 
Each one consumes ~312,000 gallons of water per day. 
That consumption is equivalent to 55+ million humans per day in the United States… roughly 1/6 the entire population.
We simply cannot sustain this frivolity, especially for something 99% of us will never use.


Destroy golf courses and plant wild grasses and butterfly bushes in their place.


Mmm wild blackberries would be great
They used to be all around before recent land development here


they used to be all around before recent land development here ^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes.Help me buy a flower for Alexa®! And yes, we are dating. | PayPal | Patreon



Out where I am we’ve been turning defunct golf courses into public parks and nature trails after letting them overgrow a bit. It’s nice! You get a lot of interesting successional species as the land is reclaimed, and it’s great birdwatching territory.

cornerof5thandvermouth: haiku-robot: tardis-in-a-moonbeam: zooophagous: ralfmaximus: princeloki: f1rstperson: Glad to see my lifelong...

Baby, Bunny, and Door: Baby bunny that lives in the bushes right outside my front door
Baby, Bunny, and Door: Baby bunny that lives in the bushes right outside my front door

Baby bunny that lives in the bushes right outside my front door