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Advice, Ass, and Beautiful: The Wall Street Journal WSJ Friday at 10:01 AM Most millennials don't even know what fabric softener is used for, and that worries Procter & Gamble 60 Dou ULTRA Millennials Are Fine Without Fabric Softener; P&G Looks to Fix That wsj.com weareallstilllearningright: bi-fem-plantnerd: sagelynaive: organized-studies: kindnessandgoodvibrations: kindnessandgoodvibrations: ghostoftwentysomethingspresent: madsciences: awfullydull: markrial: tramampoline: slow-riot: Weirdly anti-millennial articles have scraped the bottom of the barrel so hard that they are now two feet down into the topsoil its so wild like “this generation with no fucking money is learning to prioritize essentials” and all these chucklefucks can write is advertisements for these companies at least our jeans won’t tear at the seams after two washes FUCK FABRIC SOFTENER IT’S UTTERLY POINTLESS AND FUCK DRYER SHEETS LITERALLY NOBODY EVER HAS ENOUGH OF A PROBLEM WITH STATIC TO WARRANT PAYING OUT THE ASS FOR THAT SHIT DO YOU WANT CLEAN CLOTHES? YOU DON’T EVEN NEED TO BUY FUCKING DETERGENT JUST MAKE YOUR OWN* IT’S SO GODDAMN EASY AND 80X CHEAPER FUCK THE ENTIRE LAUNDRY INDUSTRY*Fuck The Entire Laundry Industry Recipe 1 cup Washing Soda (not Baking Soda. Different things.) 1 cup Borax (not Boric Acid. Also a different thing.) ½ cup - 1 cup grated bar soap (you can use literally anything. I often use Ivory because it’s easy to get and I find it works well, a lot of people like Fels-Naptha, which is an actual laundry bar. Some people use Dr. Bronner’s. Really does not fucking matter.)After grating your soap, combine all ingredients. That’s it. That’s the whole thing. Use maybe a ¼ cup per load. ^^^ I’ve done this for years now and it works as well as any store bought detergent WHATThank you, tumblr user awfullydull! Your URL does no justice to the good advice you give! Also you can MAKE your own washing soda very VERY cheaply. Step one: acquire $5 bag of baking soda from Costco. Step two: lay that motherfucking baking soda out on a baking tray. Step three: bake the baking soda on a tray in an oven at 400° for 1 hour (to make the moisture evaporate, leaving washing soda) Step four: revel in how easy and cheap it is to make your own washing soda, and maybe take a moment to be angry that the industry upcharges the fuck out of something that is so easy to make. I see some of y'all complaining about static and/or wanting nice smelling laundry. Go to a craft store, find 100% wool yarn balls. If it doesn’t come in a ball, ask an employee to make it into a tight ball for you. Wash in the washing machine to make it felted. Remove from washer, add a few drops of essential oil to the ball, allow to seep in. Dry with clothing. Doesn’t need to be rewashed ever, and if it stops smelling, add few more drops of essential oil. Bam, reusable dryer sheets. I love this post so much it’s filled with helpful advice, hatred, saving money, and fucking the system all in one Kudos to all of this, but don’t ask a craft store employee at a chain craft store to make your wool yarn into a tight ball for you. I worked at JoAnn Fabrics for a year and a half. We literally have no resources or ability to do something like that. You could do a better job yourself at home. The chain craft store employee can’t look up a youtube tutorial for making yarn laundry balls on the clock, you can. If someone had walked up to me while I was working at JoAnn and asked me to take a half hour or more out of my shift to try and fail in making some kind of tight yarn laundry contraption I probably would have burst into tears. And if my manager had come out and found me trying and failing to wind yarn when I was supposed to be running go backs I would have gotten a talking to. Craft store employees aren’t allowed, able, or willing to do your crafts for you. That’s why it’s a craft store. Don’t hurt retail workers in your quest for overriding the capitalist system. For the love of everything beautiful please just look it up. These are all great ways to reduce waste we produce from constantly buying detergent, softener, and dryer sheets. Is there like a reason not to buy detergent? Cause uh this sounds a million times more complicated and definitely more expensive.Most washing pods are £5 for a pack of about 30, I’m already counting more than that for those ingredients. Also who the hell just knows where to get Borax or Boric acid? Guessing you’d have to get it online so you’re probably racking up a bigger CO2 footprint with your “DIY fuck the system” bullshit than you would if you like just bought some normal soap. Also idk what magic you think needs to happen to clothes but if you don’t like laundry soap yk you could just throw other soap in there it’s the machine doing most of the washing.Better yet, if you have all this spear time and energy for laundry just get a bar of soap and a rack and scrub the clothes by hand. Do you have literally no concept of cost as it relates to quantity? The ingredients may be initially slightly more but you’ll get a lot more than 30 loads out of them. Also “all those ingredients“? It’s like three my dude. And borax is not hard to purchase? And if you don’t know where to buy it Google exists?Like maybe in your view there is zero reason to make your own detergent but there’s also zero reason to act like some helpful cost-effective tips are the worst thing you’ve ever seen 🙄
Advice, Ass, and Beautiful: The Wall Street Journal
 WSJ
 Friday at 10:01 AM
 Most millennials don't even know what fabric
 softener is used for, and that worries Procter &
 Gamble
 60
 Dou
 ULTRA
 Millennials Are Fine Without Fabric Softener;
 P&G Looks to Fix That
 wsj.com
weareallstilllearningright:

bi-fem-plantnerd:

sagelynaive:
organized-studies:

kindnessandgoodvibrations:

kindnessandgoodvibrations:


ghostoftwentysomethingspresent:

madsciences:

awfullydull:

markrial:

tramampoline:

slow-riot:
Weirdly anti-millennial articles have scraped the bottom of the barrel so hard that they are now two feet down into the topsoil
its so wild like “this generation with no fucking money is learning to prioritize essentials” and all these chucklefucks can write is advertisements for these companies

at least our jeans won’t tear at the seams after two washes

FUCK FABRIC SOFTENER IT’S UTTERLY POINTLESS
AND FUCK DRYER SHEETS LITERALLY NOBODY EVER HAS ENOUGH OF A PROBLEM WITH STATIC TO WARRANT PAYING OUT THE ASS FOR THAT SHIT
DO YOU WANT CLEAN CLOTHES? YOU DON’T EVEN NEED TO BUY FUCKING DETERGENT JUST MAKE YOUR OWN* IT’S SO GODDAMN EASY AND 80X CHEAPER
FUCK THE ENTIRE LAUNDRY INDUSTRY*Fuck The Entire Laundry Industry Recipe
1 cup Washing Soda (not Baking Soda. Different things.)
1 cup Borax (not Boric Acid. Also a different thing.)
½ cup - 1 cup grated bar soap (you can use literally anything. I often use Ivory because it’s easy to get and I find it works well, a lot of people like Fels-Naptha, which is an actual laundry bar. Some people use Dr. Bronner’s. Really does not fucking matter.)After grating your soap, combine all ingredients. That’s it. That’s the whole thing. Use maybe a ¼ cup per load.

^^^ I’ve done this for years now and it works as well as any store bought detergent

WHATThank you, tumblr user awfullydull! Your URL does no justice to the good advice you give!


Also you can MAKE your own washing soda very VERY cheaply.
Step one: acquire $5 bag of baking soda from Costco.
Step two: lay that motherfucking baking soda out on a baking tray.
Step three: bake the baking soda on a tray in an oven at 400° for 1 hour (to make the moisture evaporate, leaving washing soda)
Step four: revel in how easy and cheap it is to make your own washing soda, and maybe take a moment to be angry that the industry upcharges the fuck out of something that is so easy to make.


I see some of y'all complaining about static and/or wanting nice smelling laundry. Go to a craft store, find 100% wool yarn balls. If it doesn’t come in a ball, ask an employee to make it into a tight ball for you. Wash in the washing machine to make it felted. Remove from washer, add a few drops of essential oil to the ball, allow to seep in. Dry with clothing. Doesn’t need to be rewashed ever, and if it stops smelling, add few more drops of essential oil. Bam, reusable dryer sheets.


I love this post so much it’s filled with helpful advice, hatred, saving money, and fucking the system all in one


Kudos to all of this, but don’t ask a craft store employee at a chain craft store to make your wool yarn into a tight ball for you. I worked at JoAnn Fabrics for a year and a half. We literally have no resources or ability to do something like that. You could do a better job yourself at home. The chain craft store employee can’t look up a youtube tutorial for making yarn laundry balls on the clock, you can. 
If someone had walked up to me while I was working at JoAnn and asked me to take a half hour or more out of my shift to try and fail in making some kind of tight yarn laundry contraption I probably would have burst into tears. And if my manager had come out and found me trying and failing to wind yarn when I was supposed to be running go backs I would have gotten a talking to. Craft store employees aren’t allowed, able, or willing to do your crafts for you. That’s why it’s a craft store. 
Don’t hurt retail workers in your quest for overriding the capitalist system. For the love of everything beautiful please just look it up. 

These are all great ways to reduce waste we produce from constantly buying detergent, softener, and dryer sheets.

Is there like a reason not to buy detergent? Cause uh this sounds a million times more complicated and definitely more expensive.Most washing pods are £5 for a pack of about 30, I’m already counting more than that for those ingredients. Also who the hell just knows where to get Borax or Boric acid? Guessing you’d have to get it online so you’re probably racking up a bigger CO2 footprint with your “DIY fuck the system” bullshit than you would if you like just bought some normal soap. Also idk what magic you think needs to happen to clothes but if you don’t like laundry soap yk you could just throw other soap in there it’s the machine doing most of the washing.Better yet, if you have all this spear time and energy for laundry just get a bar of soap and a rack and scrub the clothes by hand. 

Do you have literally no concept of cost as it relates to quantity? The ingredients may be initially slightly more but you’ll get a lot more than 30 loads out of them. Also “all those ingredients“? It’s like three my dude. And borax is not hard to purchase? And if you don’t know where to buy it Google exists?Like maybe in your view there is zero reason to make your own detergent but there’s also zero reason to act like some helpful cost-effective tips are the worst thing you’ve ever seen 🙄

weareallstilllearningright: bi-fem-plantnerd: sagelynaive: organized-studies: kindnessandgoodvibrations: kindnessandgoodvibrations: gh...

Anime, Apple, and Birthday: Anonymous 10/25/19(Fri)20:56:36 No.55046566 story time because I want to share and it's a special day be me, 22, KHHV, NEET no real purpose in life, autistic >live in a small town but still don't know anyone >down the street is a harvest festival going on go there on a whim see nice old man making caramel apples hand dipped >i go over and buy one with some pocket change l ow saved up >it's really good we talk about caramel apples >his name is Ted >he asks if I'd like to help him make apples enthusiastically say yes, go to a factory next day at 9 AM >I get to dip the apples and put the sticks on them >I box them up and sell them, get to decorate them too Told I would not last longer than a year by floor manager since nobody does >Get to know Ted, he has no kids and his wife died in a boat accident we talk every day about apples and candy >he gets me into football we watch football together, he lets me show him anime >7 years pass >I've been there the longest Ted doesn't come to work, I call him No response, I go to his house >Door unlocked, go in and see him on the floor call 911, he had a stroke and died later that day in the hospital cry for days because my only friend is gone >A few days pass, I learn that he left the factory and the apple shop to me >note says "You're the hardest worker I've ever met, I know you will make me proud" >burst into tears in front of lawyer every day I go to that factory to work hard >l come up with all sorts of ideas to decorate the apples every holiday Still KHHV, but I love making apples >Whole town knows me as the apple man Never been happier making caramel apples Today would have been his 76th birthday. We got a huge catering order done today in time for Halloween. Business is better than ever. I know you're watching me, Ted. I hope I'm making you proud. this is one of the most wholesome things ive ever read :)
Anime, Apple, and Birthday: Anonymous 10/25/19(Fri)20:56:36 No.55046566
 story time because I want to share and it's a
 special day
 be me, 22, KHHV, NEET
 no real purpose in life, autistic
 >live in a small town but still don't know anyone
 >down the street is a harvest festival going on
 go there on a whim
 see nice old man making caramel apples hand
 dipped
 >i go over and buy one with some pocket change l
 ow
 saved up
 >it's really good
 we talk about caramel apples
 >his name is Ted
 >he asks if I'd like to help him make apples
 enthusiastically say yes, go to a factory next day at 9 AM
 >I get to dip the apples and put the sticks on them
 >I box them up and sell them, get to decorate them too
 Told I would not last longer than a year by floor manager since nobody does
 >Get to know Ted, he has no kids and his wife died in a boat accident
 we talk every day about apples and candy
 >he gets me into football
 we watch football together, he lets me show him anime
 >7 years pass
 >I've been there the longest
 Ted doesn't come to work, I call him
 No response, I go to his house
 >Door unlocked, go in and see him on the floor
 call 911, he had a stroke and died later that day in the hospital
 cry for days because my only friend is gone
 >A few days pass, I learn that he left the factory and the apple shop to me
 >note says "You're the hardest worker I've ever met, I know you will make me proud"
 >burst into tears in front of lawyer
 every day I go to that factory to work hard
 >l come up with all sorts of ideas to decorate the apples every holiday
 Still KHHV, but I love making apples
 >Whole town knows me as the apple man
 Never been happier making caramel apples
 Today would have been his 76th birthday. We got a huge catering order done today in time
 for Halloween. Business is better than ever. I know you're watching me, Ted. I hope I'm
 making you proud.
this is one of the most wholesome things ive ever read :)

this is one of the most wholesome things ive ever read :)

Anime, Apple, and Birthday: Anonymous 10/25/19(Fri)20:56:36 No.55046566 story time because I want to share and it's a special day be me, 22, KHHV, NEET no real purpose in life, autistic >live in a small town but still don't know anyone >down the street is a harvest festival going on go there on a whim see nice old man making caramel apples hand dipped >i go over and buy one with some pocket change l ow saved up >it's really good we talk about caramel apples >his name is Ted >he asks if I'd like to help him make apples enthusiastically say yes, go to a factory next day at 9 AM >I get to dip the apples and put the sticks on them >I box them up and sell them, get to decorate them too Told I would not last longer than a year by floor manager since nobody does >Get to know Ted, he has no kids and his wife died in a boat accident we talk every day about apples and candy >he gets me into football we watch football together, he lets me show him anime >7 years pass >I've been there the longest Ted doesn't come to work, I call him No response, I go to his house >Door unlocked, go in and see him on the floor call 911, he had a stroke and died later that day in the hospital cry for days because my only friend is gone >A few days pass, I learn that he left the factory and the apple shop to me >note says "You're the hardest worker I've ever met, I know you will make me proud" >burst into tears in front of lawyer every day I go to that factory to work hard >l come up with all sorts of ideas to decorate the apples every holiday Still KHHV, but I love making apples >Whole town knows me as the apple man Never been happier making caramel apples Today would have been his 76th birthday. We got a huge catering order done today in time for Halloween. Business is better than ever. I know you're watching me, Ted. I hope I'm making you proud. this is one of the most wholesome things ive ever read :)
Anime, Apple, and Birthday: Anonymous 10/25/19(Fri)20:56:36 No.55046566
 story time because I want to share and it's a
 special day
 be me, 22, KHHV, NEET
 no real purpose in life, autistic
 >live in a small town but still don't know anyone
 >down the street is a harvest festival going on
 go there on a whim
 see nice old man making caramel apples hand
 dipped
 >i go over and buy one with some pocket change l
 ow
 saved up
 >it's really good
 we talk about caramel apples
 >his name is Ted
 >he asks if I'd like to help him make apples
 enthusiastically say yes, go to a factory next day at 9 AM
 >I get to dip the apples and put the sticks on them
 >I box them up and sell them, get to decorate them too
 Told I would not last longer than a year by floor manager since nobody does
 >Get to know Ted, he has no kids and his wife died in a boat accident
 we talk every day about apples and candy
 >he gets me into football
 we watch football together, he lets me show him anime
 >7 years pass
 >I've been there the longest
 Ted doesn't come to work, I call him
 No response, I go to his house
 >Door unlocked, go in and see him on the floor
 call 911, he had a stroke and died later that day in the hospital
 cry for days because my only friend is gone
 >A few days pass, I learn that he left the factory and the apple shop to me
 >note says "You're the hardest worker I've ever met, I know you will make me proud"
 >burst into tears in front of lawyer
 every day I go to that factory to work hard
 >l come up with all sorts of ideas to decorate the apples every holiday
 Still KHHV, but I love making apples
 >Whole town knows me as the apple man
 Never been happier making caramel apples
 Today would have been his 76th birthday. We got a huge catering order done today in time
 for Halloween. Business is better than ever. I know you're watching me, Ted. I hope I'm
 making you proud.
this is one of the most wholesome things ive ever read :)

this is one of the most wholesome things ive ever read :)

Doctor, Fire, and Jail: If you mixed Mercury Aluminum phosphat Amonium sulfate, and Formaldehyde with VIRUSES, then got a Syringe and INJECTED it into your child you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for child endangerment and abuse Then WHY is it legal for doctor to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Vaccines If you welded some scrap Aluminum and Steel together added some Tires, Cylinders, Spark plugs and GASOLINE, then took it out and DROVE on a public road you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for public endangerment and unsafe vehide Then WHY is it legal for Ford & Chevy to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Vehicles If you burst into the bedroom of a child you didnt know wielding an AXE then FORCIBLY TOOK the child out of bed and carried them outside the house you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for the assault & kidnapping of a child Then WHY is it legal for firefighter to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Firefighters If you took Copper wiring, connected it to the cty power grid, then ran it through the walls of your house and into the BEDROOM of your child you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for child endangerment and fire code violation I Then WHY is it legal for electrician to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Electricity If you took over a hundred people, packed them into a pressurized metal tube then used refined KEROSENE to LAUNCH them to over 35,000 feet at speeds of over 450 knots you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for... I'm not sure, probably a lot of things Then WHY is it legal for pilots to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Aviation epicjohndoe: We Need To Re-Think Some Ideas
Doctor, Fire, and Jail: If you mixed
 Mercury
 Aluminum phosphat
 Amonium sulfate, and
 Formaldehyde with VIRUSES,
 then got a Syringe
 and INJECTED it into your child
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for child endangerment and abuse
 Then WHY is it legal for doctor
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Vaccines
 If you welded some scrap
 Aluminum and Steel together
 added some Tires, Cylinders,
 Spark plugs and GASOLINE,
 then took it out
 and DROVE on a public road
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for public endangerment and unsafe vehide
 Then WHY is it legal for Ford & Chevy
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Vehicles
 If you burst into the bedroom
 of a child you didnt know
 wielding an AXE
 then FORCIBLY TOOK the child
 out of bed and carried
 them outside the house
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for the assault & kidnapping of a child
 Then WHY is it legal for firefighter
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Firefighters
 If you took
 Copper wiring,
 connected it to the
 cty power grid,
 then ran it through the walls of your house
 and into the BEDROOM of your child
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for child endangerment and fire code violation
 I
 Then WHY is it legal for electrician
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Electricity
 If you took over a hundred
 people, packed them into a
 pressurized metal tube
 then used refined KEROSENE
 to LAUNCH them to over 35,000 feet
 at speeds of over 450 knots
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for... I'm not sure, probably a lot of things
 Then WHY is it legal for pilots
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Aviation
epicjohndoe:

We Need To Re-Think Some Ideas

epicjohndoe: We Need To Re-Think Some Ideas

Doctor, Fire, and Jail: If you mixed Mercury Aluminum phosphat Amonium sulfate, and Formaldehyde with VIRUSES, then got a Syringe and INJECTED it into your child you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for child endangerment and abuse Then WHY is it legal for doctor to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Vaccines If you welded some scrap Aluminum and Steel together added some Tires, Cylinders, Spark plugs and GASOLINE, then took it out and DROVE on a public road you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for public endangerment and unsafe vehide Then WHY is it legal for Ford & Chevy to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Vehicles If you burst into the bedroom of a child you didnt know wielding an AXE then FORCIBLY TOOK the child out of bed and carried them outside the house you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for the assault & kidnapping of a child Then WHY is it legal for firefighter to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Firefighters If you took Copper wiring, connected it to the cty power grid, then ran it through the walls of your house and into the BEDROOM of your child you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for child endangerment and fire code violation I Then WHY is it legal for electrician to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Electricity If you took over a hundred people, packed them into a pressurized metal tube then used refined KEROSENE to LAUNCH them to over 35,000 feet at speeds of over 450 knots you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for... I'm not sure, probably a lot of things Then WHY is it legal for pilots to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Aviation epicjohndoe: We Need To Re-Think Some Ideas
Doctor, Fire, and Jail: If you mixed
 Mercury
 Aluminum phosphat
 Amonium sulfate, and
 Formaldehyde with VIRUSES,
 then got a Syringe
 and INJECTED it into your child
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for child endangerment and abuse
 Then WHY is it legal for doctor
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Vaccines
 If you welded some scrap
 Aluminum and Steel together
 added some Tires, Cylinders,
 Spark plugs and GASOLINE,
 then took it out
 and DROVE on a public road
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for public endangerment and unsafe vehide
 Then WHY is it legal for Ford & Chevy
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Vehicles
 If you burst into the bedroom
 of a child you didnt know
 wielding an AXE
 then FORCIBLY TOOK the child
 out of bed and carried
 them outside the house
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for the assault & kidnapping of a child
 Then WHY is it legal for firefighter
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Firefighters
 If you took
 Copper wiring,
 connected it to the
 cty power grid,
 then ran it through the walls of your house
 and into the BEDROOM of your child
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for child endangerment and fire code violation
 I
 Then WHY is it legal for electrician
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Electricity
 If you took over a hundred
 people, packed them into a
 pressurized metal tube
 then used refined KEROSENE
 to LAUNCH them to over 35,000 feet
 at speeds of over 450 knots
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for... I'm not sure, probably a lot of things
 Then WHY is it legal for pilots
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Aviation
epicjohndoe:

We Need To Re-Think Some Ideas

epicjohndoe: We Need To Re-Think Some Ideas

Doctor, Fire, and Jail: If you mixed Mercury Aluminum phosphat Amonium sulfate, and Formaldehyde with VIRUSES, then got a Syringe and INJECTED it into your child you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for child endangerment and abuse Then WHY is it legal for doctor to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Vaccines If you welded some scrap Aluminum and Steel together added some Tires, Cylinders, Spark plugs and GASOLINE, then took it out and DROVE on a public road you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for public endangerment and unsafe vehide Then WHY is it legal for Ford & Chevy to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Vehicles If you burst into the bedroom of a child you didnt know wielding an AXE then FORCIBLY TOOK the child out of bed and carried them outside the house you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for the assault & kidnapping of a child Then WHY is it legal for firefighter to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Firefighters If you took Copper wiring, connected it to the cty power grid, then ran it through the walls of your house and into the BEDROOM of your child you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for child endangerment and fire code violation I Then WHY is it legal for electrician to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Electricity If you took over a hundred people, packed them into a pressurized metal tube then used refined KEROSENE to LAUNCH them to over 35,000 feet at speeds of over 450 knots you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for... I'm not sure, probably a lot of things Then WHY is it legal for pilots to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Aviation epicjohndoe: We Need To Re-Think Some Ideas
Doctor, Fire, and Jail: If you mixed
 Mercury
 Aluminum phosphat
 Amonium sulfate, and
 Formaldehyde with VIRUSES,
 then got a Syringe
 and INJECTED it into your child
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for child endangerment and abuse
 Then WHY is it legal for doctor
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Vaccines
 If you welded some scrap
 Aluminum and Steel together
 added some Tires, Cylinders,
 Spark plugs and GASOLINE,
 then took it out
 and DROVE on a public road
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for public endangerment and unsafe vehide
 Then WHY is it legal for Ford & Chevy
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Vehicles
 If you burst into the bedroom
 of a child you didnt know
 wielding an AXE
 then FORCIBLY TOOK the child
 out of bed and carried
 them outside the house
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for the assault & kidnapping of a child
 Then WHY is it legal for firefighter
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Firefighters
 If you took
 Copper wiring,
 connected it to the
 cty power grid,
 then ran it through the walls of your house
 and into the BEDROOM of your child
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for child endangerment and fire code violation
 I
 Then WHY is it legal for electrician
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Electricity
 If you took over a hundred
 people, packed them into a
 pressurized metal tube
 then used refined KEROSENE
 to LAUNCH them to over 35,000 feet
 at speeds of over 450 knots
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for... I'm not sure, probably a lot of things
 Then WHY is it legal for pilots
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Aviation
epicjohndoe:

We Need To Re-Think Some Ideas

epicjohndoe: We Need To Re-Think Some Ideas

Doctor, Fire, and Jail: If you mixed Mercury Aluminum phosphat Amonium sulfate, and Formaldehyde with VIRUSES, then got a Syringe and INJECTED it into your child you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for child endangerment and abuse Then WHY is it legal for doctor to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Vaccines If you welded some scrap Aluminum and Steel together added some Tires, Cylinders, Spark plugs and GASOLINE, then took it out and DROVE on a public road you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for public endangerment and unsafe vehide Then WHY is it legal for Ford & Chevy to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Vehicles If you burst into the bedroom of a child you didnt know wielding an AXE then FORCIBLY TOOK the child out of bed and carried them outside the house you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for the assault & kidnapping of a child Then WHY is it legal for firefighter to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Firefighters If you took Copper wiring, connected it to the cty power grid, then ran it through the walls of your house and into the BEDROOM of your child you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for child endangerment and fire code violation I Then WHY is it legal for electrician to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Electricity If you took over a hundred people, packed them into a pressurized metal tube then used refined KEROSENE to LAUNCH them to over 35,000 feet at speeds of over 450 knots you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for... I'm not sure, probably a lot of things Then WHY is it legal for pilots to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Aviation epicjohndoe: We Need To Re-Think Some Ideas
Doctor, Fire, and Jail: If you mixed
 Mercury
 Aluminum phosphat
 Amonium sulfate, and
 Formaldehyde with VIRUSES,
 then got a Syringe
 and INJECTED it into your child
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for child endangerment and abuse
 Then WHY is it legal for doctor
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Vaccines
 If you welded some scrap
 Aluminum and Steel together
 added some Tires, Cylinders,
 Spark plugs and GASOLINE,
 then took it out
 and DROVE on a public road
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for public endangerment and unsafe vehide
 Then WHY is it legal for Ford & Chevy
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Vehicles
 If you burst into the bedroom
 of a child you didnt know
 wielding an AXE
 then FORCIBLY TOOK the child
 out of bed and carried
 them outside the house
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for the assault & kidnapping of a child
 Then WHY is it legal for firefighter
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Firefighters
 If you took
 Copper wiring,
 connected it to the
 cty power grid,
 then ran it through the walls of your house
 and into the BEDROOM of your child
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for child endangerment and fire code violation
 I
 Then WHY is it legal for electrician
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Electricity
 If you took over a hundred
 people, packed them into a
 pressurized metal tube
 then used refined KEROSENE
 to LAUNCH them to over 35,000 feet
 at speeds of over 450 knots
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for... I'm not sure, probably a lot of things
 Then WHY is it legal for pilots
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Aviation
epicjohndoe:

We Need To Re-Think Some Ideas

epicjohndoe: We Need To Re-Think Some Ideas

Doctor, Fire, and Jail: If you mixed Mercury Aluminum phosphat Amonium sulfate, and Formaldehyde with VIRUSES, then got a Syringe and INJECTED it into your child you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for child endangerment and abuse Then WHY is it legal for doctor to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Vaccines If you welded some scrap Aluminum and Steel together added some Tires, Cylinders, Spark plugs and GASOLINE, then took it out and DROVE on a public road you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for public endangerment and unsafe vehide Then WHY is it legal for Ford & Chevy to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Vehicles If you burst into the bedroom of a child you didnt know wielding an AXE then FORCIBLY TOOK the child out of bed and carried them outside the house you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for the assault & kidnapping of a child Then WHY is it legal for firefighter to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Firefighters If you took Copper wiring, connected it to the cty power grid, then ran it through the walls of your house and into the BEDROOM of your child you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for child endangerment and fire code violation I Then WHY is it legal for electrician to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Electricity If you took over a hundred people, packed them into a pressurized metal tube then used refined KEROSENE to LAUNCH them to over 35,000 feet at speeds of over 450 knots you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for... I'm not sure, probably a lot of things Then WHY is it legal for pilots to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Aviation epicjohndoe: We Need To Re-Think Some Ideas
Doctor, Fire, and Jail: If you mixed
 Mercury
 Aluminum phosphat
 Amonium sulfate, and
 Formaldehyde with VIRUSES,
 then got a Syringe
 and INJECTED it into your child
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for child endangerment and abuse
 Then WHY is it legal for doctor
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Vaccines
 If you welded some scrap
 Aluminum and Steel together
 added some Tires, Cylinders,
 Spark plugs and GASOLINE,
 then took it out
 and DROVE on a public road
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for public endangerment and unsafe vehide
 Then WHY is it legal for Ford & Chevy
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Vehicles
 If you burst into the bedroom
 of a child you didnt know
 wielding an AXE
 then FORCIBLY TOOK the child
 out of bed and carried
 them outside the house
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for the assault & kidnapping of a child
 Then WHY is it legal for firefighter
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Firefighters
 If you took
 Copper wiring,
 connected it to the
 cty power grid,
 then ran it through the walls of your house
 and into the BEDROOM of your child
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for child endangerment and fire code violation
 I
 Then WHY is it legal for electrician
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Electricity
 If you took over a hundred
 people, packed them into a
 pressurized metal tube
 then used refined KEROSENE
 to LAUNCH them to over 35,000 feet
 at speeds of over 450 knots
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for... I'm not sure, probably a lot of things
 Then WHY is it legal for pilots
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Aviation
epicjohndoe:

We Need To Re-Think Some Ideas

epicjohndoe: We Need To Re-Think Some Ideas

Advice, Alive, and Being Alone: HARRY POTTER pumpkins leered from every corner. Harry led the Dean and Seamus, who were discussing those students of seventeen or over who might be entering There's a rumour going round, Warrington got up eaty au put his name in,' Dean told Harry. That big bloke f Hogwa Slytherin who looks like a sloth.' Harry, who had played Quidditch against Warrington,she his head in disgust. We can't have a Slytherin champion! 'And all the Hufflepuffs are talking about Diggory,s eamus contemptuously. But I wouldn't have thought he bait1598: sprout2012: madoneworld: parseltonquinq: peaceheather: blueboxbellethethird: prismatic-bell: cinematicnomad: aplatonicjacuzzi: crazybutperfectlysane: So I was rereading Harry Potter, when I came across this and thought- what if instead of Cedric Diggory, Cassius Warrington had been chosen to compete in the Triwizard Tournament? Imagine Dumbledore calling out the name of the Hogwarts champion and it isn’t a Gryffindor, or a Ravenclaw, or even a Hufflepuff, but it’s a Slytherin. A student from a House most people hate. Imagine Cassius Warrington getting up, and three out of four Houses are booing at him and shouting things like “NO!” or, “We can’t have a Slytherin champion!” or demanding a retry. But he’s a Slytherin- he’s been dealing with this shit since he got sorted, so he keeps his head high and joins the other champions. Imagine Harry trying to catch Warrington alone because he doesn’t really want to associate with Slytherins (plus Malfoy has this tendency of being around the guy ALL THE TIME since he got chosen), but at the same time he’s also fair enough not to want him to walk into the first task unprepared. Imagine Warrington walking over to Harry a few months later, and Ron and Hermione both jump into a protective stance, wands out, but instead of attacking Harry he just tells him to stick the egg underwater. (Because Slytherins don’t forget those who helped them out). Imagine Warrington and Harry helping each other out in the labyrinth. Imagine Harry being devastated when Peter kills Warrington- because Voldemort doesn’t care what house they’re form, a spare is a spare. Imagine the uproar that causes among the Slytherins, because some of their parents really are Death Eaters and they know what really happened. Imagine Slytherins fighting in the Battle of Hogwarts and shouting “This is for Cassius!” Imagine Harry returning with Warrington’s body, and the crowd realizes what’s happened, but Warrington’s parents don’t show up. There’s no one to mourn him, to cradle him in their arms and cry for their son. The Slytherins know why. His parents were Death Eaters, too. Imagine Slytherins reaching out, asking for help from classmates from other houses. They’re terrified, truly terrified because the being their parents claimed would never hurt them because they’re pureblood, they realize that he does not care. Imagine Slytherins in the 5th book sneaking off to join Dumbledore’s Army, to learn more about who Voldemort is without their parents acting as a filter.  Imagine the shock when they’re told what he’s really done. Imagine that a few talented Slytherins went with Harry and the others into the Ministry of Magic. The others are a bit wary but they prove themselves as friends. Imagine them being confronted by Lucius Malfoy in the the Hall of Prophecy, and when the Death Eaters descend, they know that any one of them could be their parents. Imagine the shocked gasp of a Death Eater as they realize their own child, a pureblood, is standing defiantly with Harry Potter. They choke back a cry. They can’t let their child know that they were about to duel to the death. Imagine a DA Slytherin facing off against their own Death Eater parent. That they make the decision to let their child defeat them, because in that moment, they realize that they love their child more than they fear Voldemort. They go down, mask unveiled, and the Slytherin kid has to be dragged from the fight before he gets killed. Imagine Book 6 Slytherins getting more friendly and cooperative with the other houses. Two years of Voldemort terrorizing the muggle and Wizarding world, two years where their parents just up and leave some days, cringing from the pain in their arm, two years after the death of the first Slytherin pureblood, Cassius Warrington, killed by Voldemort’s right-hand man, and they’re slowly hitting the breaking point. Imagine Slytherin kids keeping tabs on their parents, sending the information to Harry, who shares it with the Order of the Phoenix, and hoping that their parents won’t be killed. Imagine Book 7 Slytherins low-key rebelling against the new oppressive Hogwarts staff. Imagine the final siege on Hogwarts, where Slytherins stand proudly by their fellow houses, knowing full-well they could be fighting their own parents. Some Slytherins know their parents were in the fighting. They hope to find them first and sneak them away. Their fellow students understand. Professor McGonagall allows 7th Year Slytherin, Pansy Parkinson, to duel a death eater in her stead; her father is under that veil. She knows it. Imagine the aftermath of the battle; every house suffered loses. Slytherin students crying over the deaths of friends they made in every house. Imagine a Cassius Warrington statue made in his honor, the first Slytherin to fight and die nobly with Harry Potter, the boy who lived, in the face of ultimate evil. He was a true Slytherin, and it’s in his name that Slytherin children and their families have cut all ties with the Death Eaters, denounced Voldemort, and are finally living in peace. #i do enjoy cedric #but this would have been immensely wonderful in many ways (via batty4u) Imagine a story in which Harry wasn’t in love with his fellow champion’s girlfriend, but after her boyfriend’s death just hugs her so long, so hard, and says “he wanted to win for you. You should know–you should know he won, he did it for you” and gives her the best hug and shoulder he knows how to be because her parents aren’t there either and she must know why. Imagine Harry staring over her head at everyone else until Hermione steps up–it doesn’t take long, but it takes long enough that when she does all eyes are on her as a source of motion–and says “we’re never going to forget this. They’re not going to get away with it” and the girlfriend just latches onto Hermione and everyone is in wands-out stance convinced she’s about to attack the shit out of Hermione, and then the girlfriend stares into her eyes and says “do you promise me” and Hermione just gives her this super-firm nod and says “I promise” and the girlfriend just collapses on her, sobbing.  Imagine Dumbledore trying to give some flowery speech about inter-wizard solidarity while glossing over why, because Slytherins have always been a touchy subject, and Ron gets to his feet and says “Professor, I need to say something important” and Dumbledore is so surprised he just cedes the floor, and Ron–after that awkward moment when he realizes everyone is staring at him–says he didn’t know Warrington particularly, but he knows how Warrington and Harry played. That each was always cheering on the other. Both wanted to win, but neither was willing to undercut the other by underhanded means. He finishes up saying “I think–I think it’s important everyone should know he died being what a champion should be. Because he could have abandoned Harry and instead he stood up with him to play the game the honest way, and he died for it. And–and Slytherin House should be proud, and we should all be proud, because Warrington was a good bloke.” He sits back down all flustered because he didn’t actually stand up meaning to make a speech. And then Pansy Parkinson stands up before Dumbledore can take back control of the room and says “I want to tell Weasley thank you.” And all of Slytherin House raises a glass–to Warrington, to Weasley, to Potter–and the other houses follow suit. Many years later, Wizarding scholars will say that was the moment Voldemort truly lost. Imagine later that summer. Harry gets several owls on his birthday, all unsigned. The birds are plump and pretentious and well-cared-for. He will never know which Slytherins sent him their treasures: parchments with hexes developed by the Death Eaters; a strange locket that will only open if he whispers a special spell but that always shows him the picture he most needs to see; a page torn from a potions book that, brewed properly, will allow him extra time to summon a Patronus by giving him a few crucial seconds not just of happiness but of bliss. It doesn’t matter. Harry knows these gifts not as birthday gifts but for what they really are, and he treasures the locket and copies out the potion to send to Hermione and Mrs. Weasley, and when first summoned by the Order of the Phoenix he marches straight up to Dumbledore with the hexes and says “I can’t tell you where I got these, Professor. But they’re in use by the Death Eaters and I think you should have them.” Months later, Sirius will recognize the spell Bellatrix shoots at him, and will dive out of the way just in the nick of time. The final battle. Everyone is there. Sirius somehow ends up herding a group of Slytherins. They all stare at him and he at them, across a centuries-old divide Voldemort has only succeeded in deepening. Then he remembers the hexes. Harry’s locket, now tucked under Sirius’ shirt because Harry’s friends are with him in this battle but most of Sirius’ are dead. The moment that happiness potion saved Remus’ life, his very soul. Snape’s final words to Harry, finally seen not as mockery but real true advice. What Harry said Voldemort said–his first words in his new form. They are kids, and they are sharing the same kind of hurt he once wouldn’t admit to, watching his mother burn his name off the family tree. “When we go in there, it’s going to be hell,” he tells the Slytherins. “Some of you are probably going to die. I might go down too, and if I do I want your best curser in the front. But I want you all to remember one thing. There are no spares.”  Later retellings of the battle never fail to mention the moment a group of angry, screaming teens burst into the Great Hall, wearing their green and silver as the badge of honor it should be, shouting NO SPARES, NO SPARES at the tops of their voices in between hexes and curses and the occasional physical punch. When Hermione is present, she always interrupts the storyteller to be sure everyone knows about the moment Blaise Zabini shoved her to the floor, dropped on top of her, fired off three curses in rapid succession and said “stay alive, Granger, we need you” before jumping back to his feet and vanishing into the melee–how, for all anyone knows, those may have been his last words, and she will not let his sacrifice go unnoted.  The aftermath. Malfoy holds out a hand to Sirius, badly injured on the floor. Sirius asks how Malfoy is willing to trust him. Malfoy nods at his chest. “You’ve got my godfather’s locket,” he says, and when Sirius and Harry finally speak after the battle Harry gives his full agreement to the very first thing out of  Sirius’ mouth. They give the locket to Malfoy. Sirius grits his teeth and closes his eyes and opens them and says “He probably saved my life, giving Harry that.” He doesn’t say thank you. Malfoy hears it anyway. The school reopens under a single banner: the four Houses united. The House rivalry is reduced to just that–a competition in fun–with those deep divides slowly healing to scars, and eventually away to nothing at all. Imagine it. When we stand, we stand united as one And then there would be no hope for any uprising of evil, no users of the dark arts would dare to attack. There would be no neglected Slytherins turning to a darker cause. The unity Cassius Warrington’s death caused would come to save the world, time and time again, as would-be-Voldemorts find no followers. No children will ever have to fight their parents, or family. There would always be peace.  oh christ somebody added to it and now i’m a soggy emotional wreck I’m crying because this is what slytherins should have been and truly are This is beautifully written and I wish it was in the books xx This is such a fantastic read. A Slytherin triwizard champion sounds awesome. Best Harry Potter post
Advice, Alive, and Being Alone: HARRY POTTER
 pumpkins leered from every corner. Harry led the
 Dean and Seamus, who were discussing those
 students of seventeen or over who might be entering
 There's a rumour going round, Warrington got up eaty au
 put his name in,' Dean told Harry. That big bloke f
 Hogwa
 Slytherin who looks like a sloth.'
 Harry, who had played Quidditch against Warrington,she
 his head in disgust. We can't have a Slytherin champion!
 'And all the Hufflepuffs are talking about Diggory,s
 eamus contemptuously. But I wouldn't have thought he
bait1598:
sprout2012:

madoneworld:

parseltonquinq:

peaceheather:

blueboxbellethethird:

prismatic-bell:

cinematicnomad:

aplatonicjacuzzi:

crazybutperfectlysane:

So I was rereading Harry Potter, when I came across this and thought- what if instead of Cedric Diggory, Cassius Warrington had been chosen to compete in the Triwizard Tournament?
Imagine Dumbledore calling out the name of the Hogwarts champion and it isn’t a Gryffindor, or a Ravenclaw, or even a Hufflepuff, but it’s a Slytherin. A student from a House most people hate.
Imagine Cassius Warrington getting up, and three out of four Houses are booing at him and shouting things like “NO!” or, “We can’t have a Slytherin champion!” or demanding a retry. But he’s a Slytherin- he’s been dealing with this shit since he got sorted, so he keeps his head high and joins the other champions.
Imagine Harry trying to catch Warrington alone because he doesn’t really want to associate with Slytherins (plus Malfoy has this tendency of being around the guy ALL THE TIME since he got chosen), but at the same time he’s also fair enough not to want him to walk into the first task unprepared.
Imagine Warrington walking over to Harry a few months later, and Ron and Hermione both jump into a protective stance, wands out, but instead of attacking Harry he just tells him to stick the egg underwater. (Because Slytherins don’t forget those who helped them out).
Imagine Warrington and Harry helping each other out in the labyrinth.
Imagine Harry being devastated when Peter kills Warrington- because Voldemort doesn’t care what house they’re form, a spare is a spare.
Imagine the uproar that causes among the Slytherins, because some of their parents really are Death Eaters and they know what really happened.
Imagine Slytherins fighting in the Battle of Hogwarts and shouting “This is for Cassius!”

Imagine Harry returning with Warrington’s body, and the crowd realizes what’s happened, but Warrington’s parents don’t show up. There’s no one to mourn him, to cradle him in their arms and cry for their son. The Slytherins know why. His parents were Death Eaters, too.
Imagine Slytherins reaching out, asking for help from classmates from other houses. They’re terrified, truly terrified because the being their parents claimed would never hurt them because they’re pureblood, they realize that he does not care.
Imagine Slytherins in the 5th book sneaking off to join Dumbledore’s Army, to learn more about who Voldemort is without their parents acting as a filter. 
Imagine the shock when they’re told what he’s really done.
Imagine that a few talented Slytherins went with Harry and the others into the Ministry of Magic. The others are a bit wary but they prove themselves as friends.
Imagine them being confronted by Lucius Malfoy in the the Hall of Prophecy, and when the Death Eaters descend, they know that any one of them could be their parents.
Imagine the shocked gasp of a Death Eater as they realize their own child, a pureblood, is standing defiantly with Harry Potter. They choke back a cry. They can’t let their child know that they were about to duel to the death.
Imagine a DA Slytherin facing off against their own Death Eater parent. That they make the decision to let their child defeat them, because in that moment, they realize that they love their child more than they fear Voldemort. They go down, mask unveiled, and the Slytherin kid has to be dragged from the fight before he gets killed.
Imagine Book 6 Slytherins getting more friendly and cooperative with the other houses. Two years of Voldemort terrorizing the muggle and Wizarding world, two years where their parents just up and leave some days, cringing from the pain in their arm, two years after the death of the first Slytherin pureblood, Cassius Warrington, killed by Voldemort’s right-hand man, and they’re slowly hitting the breaking point.
Imagine Slytherin kids keeping tabs on their parents, sending the information to Harry, who shares it with the Order of the Phoenix, and hoping that their parents won’t be killed.
Imagine Book 7 Slytherins low-key rebelling against the new oppressive Hogwarts staff.
Imagine the final siege on Hogwarts, where Slytherins stand proudly by their fellow houses, knowing full-well they could be fighting their own parents. Some Slytherins know their parents were in the fighting. They hope to find them first and sneak them away. Their fellow students understand. Professor McGonagall allows 7th Year Slytherin, Pansy Parkinson, to duel a death eater in her stead; her father is under that veil. She knows it.
Imagine the aftermath of the battle; every house suffered loses. Slytherin students crying over the deaths of friends they made in every house.
Imagine 

 a Cassius Warrington statue made in his honor, the first Slytherin to fight and die nobly with Harry Potter, the boy who lived, in the face of ultimate evil. He was a true Slytherin, and it’s in his name that Slytherin children and their families have cut all ties with the Death Eaters, denounced Voldemort, and are finally living in peace.

#i do enjoy cedric #but this would have been immensely wonderful in many ways (via batty4u) 

Imagine a story in which Harry wasn’t in love with his fellow champion’s girlfriend, but after her boyfriend’s death just hugs her so long, so hard, and says “he wanted to win for you. You should know–you should know he won, he did it for you” and gives her the best hug and shoulder he knows how to be because her parents aren’t there either and she must know why.

Imagine Harry staring over her head at everyone else until Hermione steps up–it doesn’t take long, but it takes long enough that when she does all eyes are on her as a source of motion–and says “we’re never going to forget this. They’re not going to get away with it” and the girlfriend just latches onto Hermione and everyone is in wands-out stance convinced she’s about to attack the shit out of Hermione, and then the girlfriend stares into her eyes and says “do you promise me” and Hermione just gives her this super-firm nod and says “I promise” and the girlfriend just collapses on her, sobbing. 

Imagine Dumbledore trying to give some flowery speech about inter-wizard solidarity while glossing over why, because Slytherins have always been a touchy subject, and Ron gets to his feet and says “Professor, I need to say something important” and Dumbledore is so surprised he just cedes the floor, and Ron–after that awkward moment when he realizes everyone is staring at him–says he didn’t know Warrington particularly, but he knows how Warrington and Harry played. That each was always cheering on the other. Both wanted to win, but neither was willing to undercut the other by underhanded means. He finishes up saying “I think–I think it’s important everyone should know he died being what a champion should be. Because he could have abandoned Harry and instead he stood up with him to play the game the honest way, and he died for it. And–and Slytherin House should be proud, and we should all be proud, because Warrington was a good bloke.” He sits back down all flustered because he didn’t actually stand up meaning to make a speech. And then Pansy Parkinson stands up before Dumbledore can take back control of the room and says “I want to tell Weasley thank you.” And all of Slytherin House raises a glass–to Warrington, to Weasley, to Potter–and the other houses follow suit. Many years later, Wizarding scholars will say that was the moment Voldemort truly lost.

Imagine later that summer. Harry gets several owls on his birthday, all unsigned. The birds are plump and pretentious and well-cared-for. He will never know which Slytherins sent him their treasures: parchments with hexes developed by the Death Eaters; a strange locket that will only open if he whispers a special spell but that always shows him the picture he most needs to see; a page torn from a potions book that, brewed properly, will allow him extra time to summon a Patronus by giving him a few crucial seconds not just of happiness but of bliss. It doesn’t matter. Harry knows these gifts not as birthday gifts but for what they really are, and he treasures the locket and copies out the potion to send to Hermione and Mrs. Weasley, and when first summoned by the Order of the Phoenix he marches straight up to Dumbledore with the hexes and says “I can’t tell you where I got these, Professor. But they’re in use by the Death Eaters and I think you should have them.” Months later, Sirius will recognize the spell Bellatrix shoots at him, and will dive out of the way just in the nick of time.

The final battle. Everyone is there. Sirius somehow ends up herding a group of Slytherins. They all stare at him and he at them, across a centuries-old divide Voldemort has only succeeded in deepening. Then he remembers the hexes. Harry’s locket, now tucked under Sirius’ shirt because Harry’s friends are with him in this battle but most of Sirius’ are dead. The moment that happiness potion saved Remus’ life, his very soul. Snape’s final words to Harry, finally seen not as mockery but real true advice. What Harry said Voldemort said–his first words in his new form. They are kids, and they are sharing the same kind of hurt he once wouldn’t admit to, watching his mother burn his name off the family tree. “When we go in there, it’s going to be hell,” he tells the Slytherins. “Some of you are probably going to die. I might go down too, and if I do I want your best curser in the front. But I want you all to remember one thing. There are no spares.”  Later retellings of the battle never fail to mention the moment a group of angry, screaming teens burst into the Great Hall, wearing their green and silver as the badge of honor it should be, shouting NO SPARES, NO SPARES at the tops of their voices in between hexes and curses and the occasional physical punch. When Hermione is present, she always interrupts the storyteller to be sure everyone knows about the moment Blaise Zabini shoved her to the floor, dropped on top of her, fired off three curses in rapid succession and said “stay alive, Granger, we need you” before jumping back to his feet and vanishing into the melee–how, for all anyone knows, those may have been his last words, and she will not let his sacrifice go unnoted. 

The aftermath. Malfoy holds out a hand to Sirius, badly injured on the floor. Sirius asks how Malfoy is willing to trust him. Malfoy nods at his chest. “You’ve got my godfather’s locket,” he says, and when Sirius and Harry finally speak after the battle Harry gives his full agreement to the very first thing out of  Sirius’ mouth. They give the locket to Malfoy. Sirius grits his teeth and closes his eyes and opens them and says “He probably saved my life, giving Harry that.” He doesn’t say thank you. Malfoy hears it anyway. 

The school reopens under a single banner: the four Houses united. The House rivalry is reduced to just that–a competition in fun–with those deep divides slowly healing to scars, and eventually away to nothing at all.

Imagine it.
When we stand, we stand united as one

And then there would be no hope for any uprising of evil, no users of the dark arts would dare to attack. There would be no neglected Slytherins turning to a darker cause. The unity Cassius Warrington’s death caused would come to save the world, time and time again, as would-be-Voldemorts find no followers. No children will ever have to fight their parents, or family. There would always be peace. 

oh christ somebody added to it and now i’m a soggy emotional wreck

I’m crying because this is what slytherins should have been and truly are

This is beautifully written and I wish it was in the books xx


This is such a fantastic read. A Slytherin triwizard champion sounds awesome.  

Best Harry Potter post

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