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Apparently, Ass, and Crying: Anonymous 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279 be fat >go to /fit/ and find a solution >main problem is i eat like a dumpster apparently things with loads of fiber is going to 211 KB JPG save my filthy soul "Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you feeling full longer, and helps with digestion" go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy breakfast bars the first day i have fiber bars for breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks i dont shit that day next day i fiber myself up even more i dont shit that day either >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in my colon can feel the pounds dropping off because im not very hungry anymore i dont shit the third day >i dont shit the fourth day thefinaldaydawns.mp3 si have my morning coffee and feel my insides rumble in that familiar way the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart in the world exits me it's whistling just a thin, continuous airstream of fart that smells like grandpapas coffin >no sound other than the whistling hiss suddenly stops the hole is plugged SOS >this shit is so solid it feels like i'm giving anal birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson >hang on to the shower curtain and pray the rock is shot out of my asshole at mach speed >my entire ass is covered in toilet water >now the fun begins a fart that could do more damage to thee ozone layer than aerosol ever did is shooting shit bullets out of me solid and prefectly round nuggets the smell is killing me blacking out the thuds of nuggets shooting around the bowl propelled by my insane fiber flatulence is giving me war flashbacks iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg my guts are yelling in german sounds like a moose in heat lives in my belly most of the shit isn't even digested at this point just forced out by all the gas that had been building up to my throat after an hour it finally seems to be over sim shivering and crying both legs collapse as i try to stand up >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles forces one last trumpet gondorcallsforaid.rar shakily wipe my ass completely clean feniczoroark: larjmarge: itsperegrine: the-mighty-birdy: carolina-viking: th3laugh1ngt0mat0: carolina-viking: Holy fucking shit I CANT BREATHE I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE Pretty sure this has the most notes of any of my posts gondorcallsforaid.rar I’m in a ball on my bed with tears streaming down my face If I have to read this, so do you. This is funnier than it should be Omfg
Apparently, Ass, and Crying: Anonymous
 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279
 be fat
 >go to /fit/ and find a
 solution
 >main problem is i eat like
 a dumpster
 apparently things with
 loads of fiber is going to
 211 KB JPG
 save my filthy soul
 "Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you
 feeling full longer, and helps with digestion"
 go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy
 breakfast bars
 the first day i have fiber bars for
 breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks
 i dont shit that day
 next day i fiber myself up even more
 i dont shit that day either
 >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in
 my colon
 can feel the pounds dropping off because
 im not very hungry anymore
 i dont shit the third day
 >i dont shit the fourth day
 thefinaldaydawns.mp3
 si have my morning coffee and feel my
 insides rumble in that familiar way
 the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart
 in the world exits me
 it's whistling
 just a thin, continuous airstream of fart
 that smells like grandpapas coffin
 >no sound other than the whistling hiss
 suddenly stops
 the hole is plugged
 SOS
 >this shit is so solid it feels like i'm giving
 anal birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson
 >hang on to the shower curtain and pray
 the rock is shot out of my asshole at
 mach speed
 >my entire ass is covered in toilet water
 >now the fun begins
 a fart that could do more damage to thee
 ozone layer than aerosol ever did is
 shooting shit bullets out of me
 solid and prefectly round nuggets
 the smell is killing me
 blacking out
 the thuds of nuggets shooting around the
 bowl propelled by my insane fiber
 flatulence is giving me war flashbacks
 iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg
 my guts are yelling in german
 sounds like a moose in heat lives in my
 belly
 most of the shit isn't even digested at this
 point
 just forced out by all the gas that had
 been building up to my throat
 after an hour it finally seems to be over
 sim shivering and crying
 both legs collapse as i try to stand up
 >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles
 forces one last trumpet
 gondorcallsforaid.rar
 shakily wipe my ass
 completely clean
feniczoroark:

larjmarge:
itsperegrine:

the-mighty-birdy:


carolina-viking:

th3laugh1ngt0mat0:

carolina-viking:

Holy fucking shit I CANT BREATHE

I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE


Pretty sure this has the most notes of any of my posts

gondorcallsforaid.rar


I’m in a ball on my bed with tears streaming down my face 

If I have to read this, so do you.


This is funnier than it should be

Omfg

feniczoroark: larjmarge: itsperegrine: the-mighty-birdy: carolina-viking: th3laugh1ngt0mat0: carolina-viking: Holy fucking shit I CAN...

Brains, Club, and Crazy: Why Men And Women Think Differently. This Guy Nails It. Women are much more complicated than men. Men are very simple. And you know why? It's because their brains are so different. First, I want to start with men. Men's brains are very unique. Most women don't realize that whether we are having sex or watching sports, our brains are made up of little boxes. We've got a box for everything. We've got a box for the car. We've got a box for the money We've got a box for the job. We've got a box for you We've got a box for the kids. We've got a box for your mother somewhere in the basement. We've got boxes everywhere. And the rule is: the boxes don't touch. When a man discusses a particular subject, we go to that particular box, we pull that box out, we open the box, and we discuss only what is in THAT BOX. And then we close the box and put it away being very, very careful not to touch other boxes. Now women's brains are very, very different from men's brains. Women's brains are made up of a big ball of wire. And everything is connected to everything. The money is connected to the car and the car is connected to your job and your kids are connected to your mother and everythingisallconnected. It's like the internet superhighway, and it's all driven by energy that we call emotion. It's one of the reasons why women tend to remember...everything. Because if you take an event and you connect it to an emotion and it burns in your memory and you can remember it forever. The same thing happens for men. It just doesn't happen very often, because quite frankly...we don't care. Women tend to care about everything. And she just loves it. Now men, we have a box in our brain that most women are not aware of. This particular box has nothing in it. In fact, we call it the 'nothing box.' And of all the boxes a man has in his brain, the 'nothing box is our favorite box. If a man has a chance, he'll go to his nothing box every time. That's why a man can do something seemingly completely brain dead for hours on end. You know, like fishing. Now they've actually measured this. The University of Pennsylvania a couple of years ago did a study and discovered that men have the ability to think about absolutely nothing, and still breathe. Women can't do it. Their mind has never stopped. And they don't understand the 'nothing box, and it drives them CRAZY because nothing drives a woman more crazy and makes them feel more irritated than to watch a man doing nothing. laughoutloud-club: The Nothing Box That Makes Women Angry
Brains, Club, and Crazy: Why Men And Women Think
 Differently. This Guy Nails It.
 Women are much more complicated than men. Men
 are very simple. And you know why? It's because
 their brains are so different. First, I want to start with
 men. Men's brains are very unique. Most women
 don't realize that whether we are having sex or
 watching sports, our brains are made up of little
 boxes. We've got a box for everything. We've got a
 box for the car. We've got a box for the money
 We've got a box for the job. We've got a box for you
 We've got a box for the kids. We've got a box for
 your mother somewhere in the basement.
 We've got boxes everywhere. And the rule is: the
 boxes don't touch. When a man discusses a particular
 subject, we go to that particular box, we pull that box
 out, we open the box, and we discuss only what is in
 THAT BOX. And then we close the box and put it away
 being very, very careful not to touch other boxes.
 Now women's brains are very, very different from
 men's brains. Women's brains are made up of a big
 ball of wire. And everything is connected to
 everything. The money is connected to the car
 and the car is connected to your job and your
 kids are connected to your mother and
 everythingisallconnected. It's like the internet
 superhighway, and it's all driven by energy that we call
 emotion. It's one of the reasons why women tend to
 remember...everything.
 Because if you take an event and you connect it to an
 emotion and it burns in your memory and you can
 remember it forever. The same thing happens for
 men. It just doesn't happen very often, because quite
 frankly...we don't care. Women tend to care about
 everything. And she just loves it.
 Now men, we have a box in our brain that most
 women are not aware of. This particular box has
 nothing in it. In fact, we call it the 'nothing box.' And
 of all the boxes a man has in his brain, the 'nothing
 box is our favorite box. If a man has a chance, he'll go
 to his nothing box every time. That's why a man can
 do something seemingly completely brain dead for
 hours on end. You know, like fishing.
 Now they've actually measured this. The University of
 Pennsylvania a couple of years ago did a study and
 discovered that men have the ability to think about
 absolutely nothing, and still breathe.
 Women can't do it. Their mind has never stopped. And
 they don't understand the 'nothing box, and it drives
 them CRAZY because nothing drives a woman more
 crazy and makes them feel more irritated than to
 watch a man doing nothing.
laughoutloud-club:

The Nothing Box That Makes Women Angry

laughoutloud-club: The Nothing Box That Makes Women Angry

Blessed, Cats, and Family: PAT petermorwood: surprisekitty: wizardmoon: skypig357: giflounge: 1944 - Snowball the cat tries to take over a machine gun in Normandy so she can shoot some Nazis herself. Blessed post. Good kitty i want someone to read that headline in an old timey reporter voice Okay fun fact: cats were actively deployed to trenches and ships to help deal with rodent infestations in both world wars, and they had the curb cutter effect of keeping the men’s spirits high. One cat, Simon, was given the rank “Able Seacat Simon” after dutifully killing rats and mice that were destroying the HMS Amethyst’s food supplies. The ship had come under fire during the Chinese civil war and many of its crewmen had died. The cat had been gravely injured, too, but he picked out the shrapnel himself – seriously – and went straight to killing the rodents that were overrunning the ship. He unfortunately passed from his injuries two weeks before he was scheduled to receive the Dickin Medal. To this day, he is the only cat to receive this award. Here’s another WW1 trenchcat, who would have been ratter, mouser, companion and gas warning - not AFAIK by dying, like a canary, but since cats reacted to the smell of gas long before it was strong enough for humans to notice, the troops had a bit more time to get their masks on, and the cats went into gasproof boxes. Meanwhile, somewhere on the other side of No Man’s Land… Meet Percy, mascot of HMLS (D20) “Daphne” with Lt Drader. Both survived the War, and Percy retired to live out his peacetime life in the Drader family home. (Here’s a video clip; given how noisy, hot and smelly early tanks were, Percy seems remarkably unfazed.)  A US Army tank cat, Mustard of the 321st, with a Renault FT light tank and its driver Sgt Postal… A Royal Artillery kitten (the battery mascot)… Pincher of HMS Vindex on what looks like a Sopwith Pup scout… Togo, ship’s cat of HMS Dreadnought (though I’ve also seen “HMS Irresistible”)… Ship’s cat of HMS Queen Elizabeth atop 15″ main battery… And speaking of big ships and big guns… “Make nice all you like, Human. I despise you. I wanted a billet on a battleship, not this tinpot destroyer…” (Ching, of HMAS Swan.)
Blessed, Cats, and Family: PAT
petermorwood:

surprisekitty:

wizardmoon:

skypig357:

giflounge:
1944 - Snowball the cat tries to take over a machine gun in Normandy so she can shoot some Nazis herself.

Blessed post. Good kitty

i want someone to read that headline in an old timey reporter voice

Okay fun fact: cats were actively deployed to trenches and ships to help deal with rodent infestations in both world wars, and they had the curb cutter effect of keeping the men’s spirits high.
One cat, Simon, was given the rank “Able Seacat Simon” after dutifully killing rats and mice that were destroying the HMS Amethyst’s food supplies. The ship had come under fire during the Chinese civil war and many of its crewmen had died. The cat had been gravely injured, too, but he picked out the shrapnel himself – seriously – and went straight to killing the rodents that were overrunning the ship. He unfortunately passed from his injuries two weeks before he was scheduled to receive the Dickin Medal. To this day, he is the only cat to receive this award.

Here’s another WW1 trenchcat, who would have been ratter, mouser, companion and gas warning - not AFAIK by dying, like a canary, but since cats reacted to the smell of gas long before it was strong enough for humans to notice, the troops had a bit more time to get their masks on, and the cats went into gasproof boxes.
Meanwhile, somewhere on the other side of No Man’s Land…
Meet Percy, mascot of HMLS (D20) “Daphne” with Lt Drader. Both survived the War, and Percy retired to live out his peacetime life in the Drader family home. 

(Here’s a video clip; given how noisy, hot and smelly early tanks were, Percy seems remarkably unfazed.) 
A US Army tank cat, Mustard of the 321st, with a Renault FT light tank and its driver Sgt Postal…
A Royal Artillery kitten (the battery mascot)…
Pincher of HMS Vindex on what looks like a Sopwith Pup scout…
Togo, ship’s cat of HMS Dreadnought (though I’ve also seen “HMS Irresistible”)…
Ship’s cat of HMS Queen Elizabeth atop 15″ main battery…
And speaking of big ships and big guns…
“Make nice all you like, Human. I despise you. I wanted a billet on a battleship, not this tinpot destroyer…” (Ching, of HMAS Swan.)

petermorwood: surprisekitty: wizardmoon: skypig357: giflounge: 1944 - Snowball the cat tries to take over a machine gun in Normandy so s...

Dice, Nerdy, and Cigar: I made some TCG and Dice boxes from cigar boxes
Dice, Nerdy, and Cigar: I made some TCG and Dice boxes from cigar boxes

I made some TCG and Dice boxes from cigar boxes