🔥 | Latest

Driving, Fam, and God: Guess this is what heaven looks like. Fam. Is there anything more annoying than planning a day of errands and seeing u got a flat tire? Or some smoke coming out the engine? Or any other car difficulty? (All my NYC followers like “what’s a car” LMAOOO bear with me with y’all non-driving a$$es dagg 😂). Anyway u had ALLLLL these plans and now ya plan is to fix the car. We all been there. And what do we do! We get agitated. We get annoyed. Well how annoyed would u be if I told u that if ya car worked perfect, you’d have made it to the road, but then u would have been part of a 16 car pileup and ended up in the hospital? Exactly. When God slow u down, that’s a test. U could be impatient. U could be annoyed. But sometime the Lord deal u a small calamity to avoid a larger calamity bc “God is the best of planners.” U gotta put it on faith and eat that and just believe that God’s change of plans was for the best for u. Aight? TO ALL MY ATHEISTS THANK U FOR BEARING WITH ME I KNOW U JUST LIKE “car trouble means you need to lease a new Toyota lol like logically there is no deeper epistemological meaning but it’s adorable that people still worship the bearded man in the sky lol” WELL THE MAN IN THE SKY IS MY HOMIE SO SOMETIMES I GOTTA SPEAK ON IT - I GOT LOVE FOR ALL HUMANS AND I LIKE TO SHARE MY TRUTH WITH OTHERS SOMETIMES ESPECIALLY WHEN I WOKE UP TO A FLAT TIRE 😂 BLESS ON UP 😍😂😂 . . . (Slide 1: u-StarKill_er. Slide 2: u-FishCodeHuntress. Slide 3: u-OKGamesOn. Slide 4: FutureFriend8. Slide 5: DRAZZILB1424. Slide 6: TekProdFX16. Slide 7: u-HitMan917. Slide 8: u-captain_peanutbutter. Slide 9: MrDoge1337.)
Driving, Fam, and God: Guess this is what heaven looks like.
Fam. Is there anything more annoying than planning a day of errands and seeing u got a flat tire? Or some smoke coming out the engine? Or any other car difficulty? (All my NYC followers like “what’s a car” LMAOOO bear with me with y’all non-driving a$$es dagg 😂). Anyway u had ALLLLL these plans and now ya plan is to fix the car. We all been there. And what do we do! We get agitated. We get annoyed. Well how annoyed would u be if I told u that if ya car worked perfect, you’d have made it to the road, but then u would have been part of a 16 car pileup and ended up in the hospital? Exactly. When God slow u down, that’s a test. U could be impatient. U could be annoyed. But sometime the Lord deal u a small calamity to avoid a larger calamity bc “God is the best of planners.” U gotta put it on faith and eat that and just believe that God’s change of plans was for the best for u. Aight? TO ALL MY ATHEISTS THANK U FOR BEARING WITH ME I KNOW U JUST LIKE “car trouble means you need to lease a new Toyota lol like logically there is no deeper epistemological meaning but it’s adorable that people still worship the bearded man in the sky lol” WELL THE MAN IN THE SKY IS MY HOMIE SO SOMETIMES I GOTTA SPEAK ON IT - I GOT LOVE FOR ALL HUMANS AND I LIKE TO SHARE MY TRUTH WITH OTHERS SOMETIMES ESPECIALLY WHEN I WOKE UP TO A FLAT TIRE 😂 BLESS ON UP 😍😂😂 . . . (Slide 1: u-StarKill_er. Slide 2: u-FishCodeHuntress. Slide 3: u-OKGamesOn. Slide 4: FutureFriend8. Slide 5: DRAZZILB1424. Slide 6: TekProdFX16. Slide 7: u-HitMan917. Slide 8: u-captain_peanutbutter. Slide 9: MrDoge1337.)

Fam. Is there anything more annoying than planning a day of errands and seeing u got a flat tire? Or some smoke coming out the engine? Or an...

Arguing, Beautiful, and Bless Up: Our Ginger lost her eye in November, but is a tough girl and we think just as beautiful as ever! So I’m texting with my lil Caucasian homegirl (this is relevant in a second people - bear with me cot dammit 😂) and I’m like “aye I seen your snap story you look super happy being home” and she like “Break is relaxing!! T God!! I needed it. And hehe yeah Jim is a keeper ☺️☺️☺️ miss u” <— I did not edit this lmao this how she talk I’m pasting here to prove I ain’t make this Sh!t up 🥶. And I’m like “Jim?” And she like “My father!!!! I call my parents Jim & Mary lmao whiteprivilege. I know lots of kids would be gettin the belt or facing the wrath of the chancla 😂💀” FAMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMm 😩😂😂. Y’all really got the chancla confrused (yes ‘confrused’.) Y’all confrused about the chancla fam. Chancleta came out for MINOR offenses. Misdemeanors. Not no COT damn felony manslaughter 😂. Failure to obey the reasonable directive of mom duke: chancleta. Talk bacc to mama after she said something wildly offensive: chancleta. Fight - argue with big sister who started it and plus I was acting in self defense: chancleta + wooden spoon. Fam! I would get the chancleta for some Sh!t I ain’t do! 😂 Framed for a crime and without any due process: chancleta. If I hecked around and called my mama by her government(?) FAM 😂. That’s not a slap on the wrist (with a chancleta). That would just be: “goodbye.” Deada$$. Like “good 👏......bye 😥”. Emphasis on the good but then a soft, theatrical ‘bye’. That’s not even a “talk it out”. That’s just one of them “pack a small suitcase and literally dip” like in the movies lmao. Like I gotta come bacc after 10 years and I knock on the door and I have very long facial hair (even longer that it is now 😬) and she don’t recognize me and I’m like “mama?” And she like “I am sorry u at the wrong house.” And I’m like “mama I’m your son.” And she like “I HAD a son. He died.” YES FAM - DIED. DECEASED. LIKE HOW DECEASED I STILL BE EVERY TIME ONE OF MY HWITE FRENS BE ON A FIRST NAME BASIS WITH THEY PARENTS. YALL BEYOND WILD FOR THAT. BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 1: u-aprils96. Slide 2: u-stados4. Slide 3: u-JamesonRae. Slide 4: u-coinmurderer. Slide 5: u-BlemMlemFlep. Slide 6: u-samosa_pav.).
Arguing, Beautiful, and Bless Up: Our Ginger lost her eye in November, but
 is a tough girl and we think just as
 beautiful as ever!
So I’m texting with my lil Caucasian homegirl (this is relevant in a second people - bear with me cot dammit 😂) and I’m like “aye I seen your snap story you look super happy being home” and she like “Break is relaxing!! T God!! I needed it. And hehe yeah Jim is a keeper ☺️☺️☺️ miss u” <— I did not edit this lmao this how she talk I’m pasting here to prove I ain’t make this Sh!t up 🥶. And I’m like “Jim?” And she like “My father!!!! I call my parents Jim & Mary lmao whiteprivilege. I know lots of kids would be gettin the belt or facing the wrath of the chancla 😂💀” FAMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMm 😩😂😂. Y’all really got the chancla confrused (yes ‘confrused’.) Y’all confrused about the chancla fam. Chancleta came out for MINOR offenses. Misdemeanors. Not no COT damn felony manslaughter 😂. Failure to obey the reasonable directive of mom duke: chancleta. Talk bacc to mama after she said something wildly offensive: chancleta. Fight - argue with big sister who started it and plus I was acting in self defense: chancleta + wooden spoon. Fam! I would get the chancleta for some Sh!t I ain’t do! 😂 Framed for a crime and without any due process: chancleta. If I hecked around and called my mama by her government(?) FAM 😂. That’s not a slap on the wrist (with a chancleta). That would just be: “goodbye.” Deada$$. Like “good 👏......bye 😥”. Emphasis on the good but then a soft, theatrical ‘bye’. That’s not even a “talk it out”. That’s just one of them “pack a small suitcase and literally dip” like in the movies lmao. Like I gotta come bacc after 10 years and I knock on the door and I have very long facial hair (even longer that it is now 😬) and she don’t recognize me and I’m like “mama?” And she like “I am sorry u at the wrong house.” And I’m like “mama I’m your son.” And she like “I HAD a son. He died.” YES FAM - DIED. DECEASED. LIKE HOW DECEASED I STILL BE EVERY TIME ONE OF MY HWITE FRENS BE ON A FIRST NAME BASIS WITH THEY PARENTS. YALL BEYOND WILD FOR THAT. BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 1: u-aprils96. Slide 2: u-stados4. Slide 3: u-JamesonRae. Slide 4: u-coinmurderer. Slide 5: u-BlemMlemFlep. Slide 6: u-samosa_pav.).

So I’m texting with my lil Caucasian homegirl (this is relevant in a second people - bear with me cot dammit 😂) and I’m like “aye I seen you...

Bless Up, Cute, and Funny: Once a lap dog, always a lap dog So a lot of you have been asking me, hey smash, when are you going to review the weighted blanket, how did it work, does it work wonders, did it fix your sleep problem?? Well it’s funny u ask! Since I got it, I’ve had two weeks of perfectly sound sleep where I close my eyes and imagine cows skipping over a fence (like happy cows on a vegan farm where all they gotta do is be cute lol) for three minutes until I doze blissfully 😍. JUST KIDDING! It made it worse a lil bit 😂. Officially said goodbye to that h0e today. I wanted it to work but like a toxic relationship sometimes You idealize something but the reality is it is not what is best for you so you have to say goodbye and block them forever but keep the entire text thread including the pics as evidence 🧐 LOL! Just kidding but not really 🙂😂. Mannnnnn listen. I wanted it to work. I was in full placebo effect. I was ready to receive God’s blessings. But that bish had me feelin TRAPPT. Like it’s supposed to mimic the warmth of the human body but for some reason a THICCUM pair of thighs straddling my right quad muscles whilst a head delicately lays on my BREAST and two breasstasis swaddle my right side feel hella different 🧐. Anyway I tried. Gave it a go for two skrate weeks. Did not work as intended. That being said, I do not want to dissuade you! It has worked for so many people and I am so thankful to the person who recommended it. That person has recommended a lot of great things and this one just happened to not work out. One person’s medicine is another person’s poison. This is how we were created. May you all sleep well and wake up rested and rejuvenated. Bless up! ❤️
Bless Up, Cute, and Funny: Once a lap dog, always a lap dog
So a lot of you have been asking me, hey smash, when are you going to review the weighted blanket, how did it work, does it work wonders, did it fix your sleep problem?? Well it’s funny u ask! Since I got it, I’ve had two weeks of perfectly sound sleep where I close my eyes and imagine cows skipping over a fence (like happy cows on a vegan farm where all they gotta do is be cute lol) for three minutes until I doze blissfully 😍. JUST KIDDING! It made it worse a lil bit 😂. Officially said goodbye to that h0e today. I wanted it to work but like a toxic relationship sometimes You idealize something but the reality is it is not what is best for you so you have to say goodbye and block them forever but keep the entire text thread including the pics as evidence 🧐 LOL! Just kidding but not really 🙂😂. Mannnnnn listen. I wanted it to work. I was in full placebo effect. I was ready to receive God’s blessings. But that bish had me feelin TRAPPT. Like it’s supposed to mimic the warmth of the human body but for some reason a THICCUM pair of thighs straddling my right quad muscles whilst a head delicately lays on my BREAST and two breasstasis swaddle my right side feel hella different 🧐. Anyway I tried. Gave it a go for two skrate weeks. Did not work as intended. That being said, I do not want to dissuade you! It has worked for so many people and I am so thankful to the person who recommended it. That person has recommended a lot of great things and this one just happened to not work out. One person’s medicine is another person’s poison. This is how we were created. May you all sleep well and wake up rested and rejuvenated. Bless up! ❤️

So a lot of you have been asking me, hey smash, when are you going to review the weighted blanket, how did it work, does it work wonders, di...

Advice, Bless Up, and Christmas: Just happy to see you 2018-1 WE MADE IT, LOVE BUGS. I AM SO DAMN PROUD OF YALL. IT’S BASICALLY CHRISTMAS WHICH MEAN TOMORROW IS BASICALLY FERRUARY 😂. REMEMBER...DO *NOT* MAKE THE MISTAKE OF BEING TOO AMBITIOUS IN THE NEW YEAR AND SETTING TOO MANY GOALS U CANT MEET SO THAT U FEEL LIKE TRASH BY SUMMER. A WORD OF ADVICE FROM RAY DALLIO WHO FOUNDED THE MOST SUCCESSFUL HEDGE FUND IN HISTORY (Bridgewater). PULL OUT A SHEET OF PAPER. LIST THREE THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF YOU WANT TO CHANGE IN ONE COLUMN. IN THE COLUMN ON THE RIGHT OF THAT, LIST CONCRETE STEPS U WILL TAKE TO GET THERE. FORGET ABOUT MATERIAL GOALS “wanna move out of my house bc can’t stand my crazy a$$ mom” AYEEE ... I BEEN THERE 😂. INSTEAD, LIST “strained relationship with mom.” IN THE RIGHT COLUMN, LIST THINGS U MIGHT COULD DO TO FIX IT: “be patient. Listen when she wilds out and go full Kanye bipolar on me. Reassure her.” U FEEL ME? OR MAYBE “finally get healthy.” AND THEN STEPS: “cut out white sugar. Work out twice per week on Saturday and Sunday when I have no excuse not to.” ETC. U FEEL ME? DONT LIST MORE THAN 3. THEN KEEP THAT PAPER WITH YOU AND TRACK PROGRESS. AIGHT? I LOVE YALL. THE START OF A SOLAR YEAR IS HELLA ARBITRARY 😂. FAM... NOBODY USED TO TO EVEN CARE ABOUT THE SUN. PPL FOLLOWED THE MOVEMENT OF THE MOON WHICH IS FAR MORE CONSISTENT. DOESNT MATTER. WHAT MATTERS IS THAT U SET REASONABLE GOALS AND MAKE AND PLAN AND TRACK PROGRESS. I HAVE FAITH IN YALL!! BLESS UP ❤️ (Slide 4: u-FightingGoldenDevils. Slide 5: u-TimTheToothNinja. slide 6: SpecCRA. Slide 7: slide 7: PolishedPup. Slide 8: Jangos34. Slide 9: HonestRoutine.)
Advice, Bless Up, and Christmas: Just happy to see you
 2018-1
WE MADE IT, LOVE BUGS. I AM SO DAMN PROUD OF YALL. IT’S BASICALLY CHRISTMAS WHICH MEAN TOMORROW IS BASICALLY FERRUARY 😂. REMEMBER...DO *NOT* MAKE THE MISTAKE OF BEING TOO AMBITIOUS IN THE NEW YEAR AND SETTING TOO MANY GOALS U CANT MEET SO THAT U FEEL LIKE TRASH BY SUMMER. A WORD OF ADVICE FROM RAY DALLIO WHO FOUNDED THE MOST SUCCESSFUL HEDGE FUND IN HISTORY (Bridgewater). PULL OUT A SHEET OF PAPER. LIST THREE THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF YOU WANT TO CHANGE IN ONE COLUMN. IN THE COLUMN ON THE RIGHT OF THAT, LIST CONCRETE STEPS U WILL TAKE TO GET THERE. FORGET ABOUT MATERIAL GOALS “wanna move out of my house bc can’t stand my crazy a$$ mom” AYEEE ... I BEEN THERE 😂. INSTEAD, LIST “strained relationship with mom.” IN THE RIGHT COLUMN, LIST THINGS U MIGHT COULD DO TO FIX IT: “be patient. Listen when she wilds out and go full Kanye bipolar on me. Reassure her.” U FEEL ME? OR MAYBE “finally get healthy.” AND THEN STEPS: “cut out white sugar. Work out twice per week on Saturday and Sunday when I have no excuse not to.” ETC. U FEEL ME? DONT LIST MORE THAN 3. THEN KEEP THAT PAPER WITH YOU AND TRACK PROGRESS. AIGHT? I LOVE YALL. THE START OF A SOLAR YEAR IS HELLA ARBITRARY 😂. FAM... NOBODY USED TO TO EVEN CARE ABOUT THE SUN. PPL FOLLOWED THE MOVEMENT OF THE MOON WHICH IS FAR MORE CONSISTENT. DOESNT MATTER. WHAT MATTERS IS THAT U SET REASONABLE GOALS AND MAKE AND PLAN AND TRACK PROGRESS. I HAVE FAITH IN YALL!! BLESS UP ❤️ (Slide 4: u-FightingGoldenDevils. Slide 5: u-TimTheToothNinja. slide 6: SpecCRA. Slide 7: slide 7: PolishedPup. Slide 8: Jangos34. Slide 9: HonestRoutine.)

WE MADE IT, LOVE BUGS. I AM SO DAMN PROUD OF YALL. IT’S BASICALLY CHRISTMAS WHICH MEAN TOMORROW IS BASICALLY FERRUARY 😂. REMEMBER...DO *NOT*...