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anything: At this point anything can happen in 2020
anything: At this point anything can happen in 2020

At this point anything can happen in 2020

anything: edwardspoonhands: great-tweets: This is the /an/ post that keeps on giving. This is better than anything I’ve ever made.
anything: edwardspoonhands:

great-tweets:

This is the /an/ post that keeps on giving.

This is better than anything I’ve ever made.

edwardspoonhands: great-tweets: This is the /an/ post that keeps on giving. This is better than anything I’ve ever made.

anything: thedarklordkeisha: Calvin is the most relatable protagonist in the history of anything.
anything: thedarklordkeisha:
Calvin is the most relatable protagonist in the history of anything.

thedarklordkeisha: Calvin is the most relatable protagonist in the history of anything.

anything: I heard the people on that huge landmass will eat anything, we should get them to do it
anything: I heard the people on that huge landmass will eat anything, we should get them to do it

I heard the people on that huge landmass will eat anything, we should get them to do it

anything: databuffering: I’m in love with doom eternal but can’t pull myself away long enough to draw anything good
anything: databuffering:

I’m in love with doom eternal but can’t pull myself away long enough to draw anything good

databuffering: I’m in love with doom eternal but can’t pull myself away long enough to draw anything good

anything: my new wfh coworker is so needy, I can’t get anything donevia @okayjojay
anything: my new wfh coworker is so needy, I can’t get anything donevia @okayjojay

my new wfh coworker is so needy, I can’t get anything donevia @okayjojay

anything: stella-minerva:I haven’t drawn anything Arcana in so long so I had to do smth for my lovebirds ♡
anything: stella-minerva:I haven’t drawn anything Arcana in so long so I had to do smth for my lovebirds ♡

stella-minerva:I haven’t drawn anything Arcana in so long so I had to do smth for my lovebirds ♡

anything: shed1nja: salty-sadness22: kintatsujo: pretentioussongtitle: disease-danger-darkness-silence: captainroxythefoxy: e-v-roslyn: guu: kuruluv: catwithaknife: https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/kzqpd9/heres-an-insane-story-about-a-rogue-music-teacher-cutting-a-kids-hair what the fuck i’m just gonna take this post for a moment so i can rant but like i Hate how entitled adults can feel over a child’s hair! it started when i was young myself, i wanted a mohawk, but my dad didn’t approve of that look on a “girl”, and insisted i’d regret such a bold cut. at 16 i was finally given full autonomy over my own head. but then i have a son and everyone around us is trying to keep his hair short. when we finally moved out just me my partner and him, i told him he doesn’t need to get any haircuts he doesn’t want. so he starts growing it out, it’s still short but coming on mid-length. his teacher makes a point to tell me it’s getting long as if i don’t have eyes. i hear her walking out with him one day talking to him about haircuts, as if to coax him into one. eventually i get child services called on me for ‘forcing a transgender lifestyle’ over what i can only assume is from a combination of me drawing cute ponies on his valentine box and letting him go to school in a ponytail. he kept it short for awhile after but told me he wanted to grow it out again, so i let him of course. he comes home one day after getting a haircut at his grandpa’s and tells me he didn’t Want the haircut. i ask why he got it then and learned he was bribed with a promise of a surprise IF he cut his hair. tl;dr people need to back the hell up off of children and let them have owership of what’s on THEIR body! /rant Same thing about getting a child to curl or straighten their hair. Or do anything with it. Just let kids have control over their bodies. This happened to me when I was little too!! Growing up I had naturally tight Shirley Temple curls. The only problem was that you can’t get a hair brush through it if your life depended on it until it grew out over a few years. but This One Lady from church decided that leaving my hair messy and curly was child abuse and threatened to call social services on my family every damn time she saw me until one day she was the designated kid watcher and ho boy my momma tells me i came out with tears in my eyes and greasy slicked down hair and that’s where she ends the story because i think my mother beat her ass but yeah. Leave kids hair alone. I’m going to be honest, parents who are super-controlling of their children’s hair creep me the fuck out and I’m not entirely certain why except that I get a vague feeling they kind of relegate them to, “annoying talking doll” status. I loved my daughter’s long blond hair. It was thick and wavy and beautiful but when she told me she wanted it cut short ‘like a boy’(she was four)  I took her to the salon and let her whack it off.  The stylist was skeptical, ‘are you sure?” and the thing is, she said this to me, not my daughter. So I asked my girl ‘are you sure you want it cut short?’ She was. The hair went. The stylist acted nervous most of the way through like she was waiting for one of us to burst into tears, but it looked cute! And my daughter loved it! (And it’s been short ever since.) Autonomy over your hair is bodily autonomy and we as a culture need to start holding bodily autonomy as sacred My family, for years, wouldn’t let me dye/cut my hair really short. I could understand the dye, but the shortest they’d let me go is a bob. They even let me dye my hair before letting me go that short. I’m finally in control of my hair and my hair is one of my favorite things about myself. It’s an easy way to express myself. Let kids do what they want with their hair! Let them have fun with their hair before they’re told to grow up and have ‘professional’ hair! My mom had a monopoly over my hair. Wouldn’t let me wear it natural, was obsessed with me having flyaways in the front and wouldn’t let me get out of the car in the mornings until they were flat, permed it when I was 10, wouldn’t let me cut it off for years after even though it was really damaged, vocally disapproved when I finally cut it as short as she’d let me. When I moved out I stopped putting any heat in it and a few years later I cut it all off again. The second cut was my decision alone and it felt like a weight lifted off me, like no one could ever tell me what to do with it again or tell me “I needed it” to be pretty. My stepfather and his stepfather forced a hair cut on me 10 years ago because they said i was too girly for their tastes.I grew my hair out ever since because ill never go fucking bald again like those two fucking neo nazis
anything: shed1nja:
salty-sadness22:

kintatsujo:

pretentioussongtitle:

disease-danger-darkness-silence:

captainroxythefoxy:

e-v-roslyn:

guu:

kuruluv:

catwithaknife:

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/kzqpd9/heres-an-insane-story-about-a-rogue-music-teacher-cutting-a-kids-hair

what the fuck

i’m just gonna take this post for a moment so i can rant but like
i Hate how entitled adults can feel over a child’s hair!
it started when i was young myself, i wanted a mohawk, but my dad didn’t approve of that look on a “girl”, and insisted i’d regret such a bold cut. at 16 i was finally given full autonomy over my own head.
but then i have a son and everyone around us is trying to keep his hair short. when we finally moved out just me my partner and him, i told him he doesn’t need to get any haircuts he doesn’t want.
so he starts growing it out, it’s still short but coming on mid-length. his teacher makes a point to tell me it’s getting long as if i don’t have eyes. i hear her walking out with him one day talking to him about haircuts, as if to coax him into one. eventually i get child services called on me for ‘forcing a transgender lifestyle’ over what i can only assume is from a combination of me drawing cute ponies on his valentine box and letting him go to school in a ponytail.
he kept it short for awhile after but told me he wanted to grow it out again, so i let him of course. he comes home one day after getting a haircut at his grandpa’s and tells me he didn’t Want the haircut.
i ask why he got it then and learned he was bribed with a promise of a surprise IF he cut his hair.
tl;dr people need to back the hell up off of children and let them have owership of what’s on THEIR body! /rant


Same thing about getting a child to curl or straighten their hair. Or do anything with it. Just let kids have control over their bodies.


This happened to me when I was little too!! Growing up I had naturally tight Shirley Temple curls. The only problem was that you can’t get a hair brush through it if your life depended on it until it grew out over a few years. 
but This One Lady from church decided that leaving my hair messy and curly was child abuse and threatened to call social services on my family every damn time she saw me until one day she was the designated kid watcher and ho boy my momma tells me i came out with tears in my eyes and greasy slicked down hair and that’s where she ends the story because i think my mother beat her ass but yeah.
Leave kids hair alone.

I’m going to be honest, parents who are super-controlling of their children’s hair creep me the fuck out and I’m not entirely certain why except that I get a vague feeling they kind of relegate them to, “annoying talking doll” status.

I loved my daughter’s long blond hair. It was thick and wavy and beautiful but when she told me she wanted it cut short ‘like a boy’(she was four)  I took her to the salon and let her whack it off. 
The stylist was skeptical, ‘are you sure?” and the thing is, she said this to me, not my daughter. So I asked my girl ‘are you sure you want it cut short?’ She was. The hair went. The stylist acted nervous most of the way through like she was waiting for one of us to burst into tears, but it looked cute! And my daughter loved it! (And it’s been short ever since.)

Autonomy over your hair is bodily autonomy and we as a culture need to start holding bodily autonomy as sacred

My family, for years, wouldn’t let me dye/cut my hair really short. I could understand the dye, but the shortest they’d let me go is a bob. They even let me dye my hair before letting me go that short. I’m finally in control of my hair and my hair is one of my favorite things about myself. It’s an easy way to express myself.  
 Let kids do what they want with their hair! Let them have fun with their hair before they’re told to grow up and have ‘professional’ hair! 

My mom had a monopoly over my hair. Wouldn’t let me wear it natural, was obsessed with me having flyaways in the front and wouldn’t let me get out of the car in the mornings until they were flat, permed it when I was 10, wouldn’t let me cut it off for years after even though it was really damaged, vocally disapproved when I finally cut it as short as she’d let me.
When I moved out I stopped putting any heat in it and a few years later I cut it all off again. The second cut was my decision alone and it felt like a weight lifted off me, like no one could ever tell me what to do with it again or tell me “I needed it” to be pretty.



My stepfather and his stepfather forced a hair cut on me 10 years ago because they said i was too girly for their tastes.I grew my hair out ever since because ill never go fucking bald again like those two fucking neo nazis

shed1nja: salty-sadness22: kintatsujo: pretentioussongtitle: disease-danger-darkness-silence: captainroxythefoxy: e-v-roslyn: guu:...

anything: ophidahlia: Coca-Cola (and Dixie Cup) pioneered the recycling movement in the 40’s to get people to return valuable glass bottles by charging almost half of the cost of the drink in a returnable fee. Nearly everyone returned their bottles; it was a huge success. When they switched to plastic in the 50’s it became more profitable to just toss bottles away so they used shell organizations to secretly lobby congress and senates to kill recycling bills while simultaneously creating massive ad campaigns to convince the public that recycling was all the consumer’s responsibility. This isn’t a conspiracy theory, it’s public knowledge that gets drowned out in the noise made by their PR firms. Last year Coca-Cola was still up to the same environmental villainry. More recycling advertising campaigns and killed bottle-fee bills which have been long proven to massively boost recycling rates but also push the cost of recycling from the consumer onto the manufacturer. That’s also detailed in the previous link. Don’t ever make the mistake of thinking that large corporations care about this world or anything in it other than profit. They’ll engage in charity as an investment if the campaign offers good return for their brand value and public image, but don’t think for a second we can get capitalists to behave ethically through any other means than forcing them to do it.
anything: ophidahlia:
Coca-Cola (and Dixie Cup) pioneered the recycling movement in the 40’s to get people to return valuable glass bottles by charging almost half of the cost of the drink in a returnable fee. Nearly everyone returned their bottles; it was a huge success. When they switched to plastic in the 50’s it became more profitable to just toss bottles away so they used shell organizations to secretly lobby congress and senates to kill recycling bills while simultaneously creating massive ad campaigns to convince the public that recycling was all the consumer’s responsibility. This isn’t a conspiracy theory, it’s public knowledge that gets drowned out in the noise made by their PR firms. 
Last year Coca-Cola was still up to the same environmental villainry. More recycling advertising campaigns and killed bottle-fee bills which have been long proven to massively boost recycling rates but also push the cost of recycling from the consumer onto the manufacturer. That’s also detailed in the previous link. 
Don’t ever make the mistake of thinking that large corporations care about this world or anything in it other than profit. They’ll engage in charity as an investment if the campaign offers good return for their brand value and public image, but don’t think for a second we can get capitalists to behave ethically through any other means than forcing them to do it.

ophidahlia: Coca-Cola (and Dixie Cup) pioneered the recycling movement in the 40’s to get people to return valuable glass bottles by char...

anything: topolk: 30+ years of adventures, mishaps, and shenanigans and I’m pretty sure this is the first time I’ve seen Mario and Luigi do anything plumbing related.
anything: topolk:

30+ years of adventures, mishaps, and shenanigans and I’m pretty sure this is the first time I’ve seen Mario and Luigi do anything plumbing related.

topolk: 30+ years of adventures, mishaps, and shenanigans and I’m pretty sure this is the first time I’ve seen Mario and Luigi do anythi...

anything: Im an introvert yet I AM ARNOLD BECAUSE NONE OF MY PIECE OF SHIT CLASSMATES CAN DO ANYTHING RIGHT ON THEIR OWN LIKE THE SCUMMY IDIOTS THEY ARESCHEISSE
anything: Im an introvert yet I AM ARNOLD BECAUSE NONE OF MY PIECE OF SHIT CLASSMATES CAN DO ANYTHING RIGHT ON THEIR OWN LIKE THE SCUMMY IDIOTS THEY ARESCHEISSE

Im an introvert yet I AM ARNOLD BECAUSE NONE OF MY PIECE OF SHIT CLASSMATES CAN DO ANYTHING RIGHT ON THEIR OWN LIKE THE SCUMMY IDIOTS THE...

anything: trans-mom: Claim: “Trans” is short for “transition.” The Truth: “Trans” is short for “transgender.” It is just a descriptor of a person’s gender. Claim: You must experience dysphoria in order to be trans. The Truth: Incorrect. Dysphoria is an old, outdated term that’s been redefined over time to cover new specific needs. Despite its constant redefining, it’s still not an all encompassing descriptor for all trans people. Claim: You must pursue hrt and surgery to be trans. The Truth: Incorrect. There are a variety of reasons why someone wouldn’t want to have hrt or surgery, all of them valid. Claim: If you’re trans, you’d show very specific signs as a child. / All trans people knew they were trans since a young age. The Truth: A lot of trans people do not possess obvious signs of their transhood as children. Lots of people discover themselves later in life. Your age does not dictate your transhood.  Claim: Transition is solely defined by hrt or surgery. The Truth: Transition begins from the moment you feel you’re trans and need to alter things in your life. Transition isn’t only medical. It’s also social, but most of all it’s personal. Something like making a plan to come out in the future is part of your transition. Claim: You have to come out to everyone. The Truth: That’s personal information you owe no one.  Claim: Most trans people detransition. The Truth: Detransitioning is rare. And in most cases it’s because of financial and safety (read: bigoted harm) reasons. The claim that most trans people detransition is based on an old study where the kids were exposed to anti-lgbt rhetoric and when people didn’t return his calls he marked them as “detransitioned.” The amount of people who detransition cuz they “weren’t trans” is extremely rare. Claim: Being on hrt will make you more depressed. The Truth: Incorrect. Statistics show that the majority of trans people’s lives improve with hrt. What actually would cause depression is the constant harassment and harm from bigots, often times from the same people who told you hrt will make you depressed. Hrt itself is documented to improve the quality of life. Claim: You don’t need hrt. There are pills on the market made from natural means that will give you the same result without a prescription. The Truth: This is not only false, but it’s a money making scheme meant to exploit your lack of easy access to hrt. These pills will not work, they will actually have the opposite effect, and they cost the same as obtaining hrt without a prescription on average. Claim: You absolutely must have a prescription for hrt. It’s illegal to get it without and you’ll die if you don’t have proper understanding. The Truth: Morality isn’t dictated by legality. And, though some dangers exist with self medicating with no knowledge, as someone that did self medicated hrt it’s not impossible for you to get educated. Testosterone poses more legal risks and you need to be sure what you’re getting is the real deal with T, but the need to do things this way is a sign the system is broken - not that there’s something wrong with the people doing it. For information about feminizing hormones, go here. For information about masculinizing hormones, go here. Claim: You can get hrt through Planned Parenthood. The Truth: Accurate! Planned Parenthood does offer hrt on an informed consent basis in some places. This is not true to everywhere so maybe call them or check their own web site about it before just dropping in. Smallangryandtired did an excellent write up on how to do the process here.  However, as I said, they do not offer it in all locations. The main path a lot of people take is going to a therapist for a session or two and getting a letter from said therapist approving you for hrt and taking that to a doctor (who in turn usually recommends you to a specialist). Claim: After a certain age, there’s no point to do hrt. It won’t have the same effect. The Truth: That is a lie. Hrt will work no matter your age. Claim: You can be too young for hrt and puberty blockers are dangerous. The Truth: That is also a lie. Lots of people have known they’re trans since they were kids and refusing them treatment is child abuse. If a doctor deems a kid too young for hrt, the alternative is puberty blockers because they are not harmful to the child at all. Despite what anti-lgbt groups want you to believe, there is no danger to puberty blockers. Claim: There are only two genders. / Nonbinary people don’t exist. / Biological sex dictates gender. The Truth: The biological sex you know is only truly representative of gender stereotypes. The truth is that, biologically speaking, there are more than two sexes and the only true way to identify such is through karyotypes. Third genders and nonbinary genders have existed through out history, it is not new. The greatest minds in science have time and time again repeated this information, that sex isn’t a binary, that nonbinary people exist, that trans women are really women, trans men are men, and that nonbinary people are nonbinary. Even Bill Nye has said this. Claim: Things like “stargender” or “noungender” are ruining the representation of the trans community. / “Noungender” is just children trying to get attention and are not actually trans. / People using neopronouns or nounself pronouns are not really trans. The Truth: This in inaccurate and often times either a bullying tactic towards those who are different, or transphobic people using such to isolate a group of trans people. Some people do not fit into the binary or gender nor feel like they’re in any defined nonbinary genders. So they’ll define themselves with words and terms they enjoy. It’s no different from you feeling more comfort from being called “he” versus “she.”  And, in the off chance it is someone just seeking attention. It doesn’t matter. Let them have their fun. They’re not ruining anything calling themselves spacegender on tumblr dot com. Claim: There are people faking being trans to fit into a crowd. / The entire concept of “transtrenders.” The Truth: Not true. This is just age old blatant “you’re faking” transphobia.  Claim: Trans people on hrt or post-op can not experience sexual enjoyment. The Truth: Both will change your body’s entire response to sex. Your enjoyment doesn’t disappear, the entire process just changes to something different. This inaccuracy is spread by transphobes on average and isn’t remotely true. Claim: Trans people have a high rate of suicide. The Truth: I’m sorry to say that trans people are under the stress of discrimination from all angles, and on top of other stresses or discriminations one may experience, it leads us into suicidal ideation. But, that’s why we need to stick together and help each other out. If you’re trans and considering suicide, consider the following: National Suicide Prevention Hotline:  1-800-273-8255 Trans Lifeline USA:  1-877-565-8860 Trans Lifeline Canada: 1-877-330-6366 The Trevor Project Hotline:  1-866-488-7386 The Trevor Project also offers texting and chat You deserve to live your life. I promise you you’re strong enough to get through this.
anything: trans-mom:
Claim: “Trans” is short for “transition.”
The Truth: “Trans” is short for “transgender.” It is just a descriptor of a person’s gender.
Claim: You must experience dysphoria in order to be trans.
The Truth: Incorrect. Dysphoria is an old, outdated term that’s been redefined over time to cover new specific needs. Despite its constant redefining, it’s still not an all encompassing descriptor for all trans people.
Claim: You must pursue hrt and surgery to be trans.
The Truth: Incorrect. There are a variety of reasons why someone wouldn’t want to have hrt or surgery, all of them valid.
Claim: If you’re trans, you’d show very specific signs as a child. / All trans people knew they were trans since a young age.
The Truth: A lot of trans people do not possess obvious signs of their transhood as children. Lots of people discover themselves later in life. Your age does not dictate your transhood. 
Claim: Transition is solely defined by hrt or surgery.
The Truth: Transition begins from the moment you feel you’re trans and need to alter things in your life. Transition isn’t only medical. It’s also social, but most of all it’s personal. Something like making a plan to come out in the future is part of your transition.
Claim: You have to come out to everyone.
The Truth: That’s personal information you owe no one. 
Claim: Most trans people detransition.
The Truth: Detransitioning is rare. And in most cases it’s because of financial and safety (read: bigoted harm) reasons. The claim that most trans people detransition is based on an old study where the kids were exposed to anti-lgbt rhetoric and when people didn’t return his calls he marked them as “detransitioned.” The amount of people who detransition cuz they “weren’t trans” is extremely rare.
Claim: Being on hrt will make you more depressed.
The Truth: Incorrect. Statistics show that the majority of trans people’s lives improve with hrt. What actually would cause depression is the constant harassment and harm from bigots, often times from the same people who told you hrt will make you depressed. Hrt itself is documented to improve the quality of life.
Claim: You don’t need hrt. There are pills on the market made from natural means that will give you the same result without a prescription.
The Truth: This is not only false, but it’s a money making scheme meant to exploit your lack of easy access to hrt. These pills will not work, they will actually have the opposite effect, and they cost the same as obtaining hrt without a prescription on average.
Claim: You absolutely must have a prescription for hrt. It’s illegal to get it without and you’ll die if you don’t have proper understanding.
The Truth: Morality isn’t dictated by legality. And, though some dangers exist with self medicating with no knowledge, as someone that did self medicated hrt it’s not impossible for you to get educated. Testosterone poses more legal risks and you need to be sure what you’re getting is the real deal with T, but the need to do things this way is a sign the system is broken - not that there’s something wrong with the people doing it.
For information about feminizing hormones, go here.
For information about masculinizing hormones, go here.
Claim: You can get hrt through Planned Parenthood.
The Truth: Accurate! Planned Parenthood does offer hrt on an informed consent basis in some places. This is not true to everywhere so maybe call them or check their own web site about it before just dropping in. Smallangryandtired did an excellent write up on how to do the process here. 
However, as I said, they do not offer it in all locations. The main path a lot of people take is going to a therapist for a session or two and getting a letter from said therapist approving you for hrt and taking that to a doctor (who in turn usually recommends you to a specialist).
Claim: After a certain age, there’s no point to do hrt. It won’t have the same effect.
The Truth: That is a lie. Hrt will work no matter your age.
Claim: You can be too young for hrt and puberty blockers are dangerous.
The Truth: That is also a lie. Lots of people have known they’re trans since they were kids and refusing them treatment is child abuse. If a doctor deems a kid too young for hrt, the alternative is puberty blockers because they are not harmful to the child at all. Despite what anti-lgbt groups want you to believe, there is no danger to puberty blockers.
Claim: There are only two genders. / Nonbinary people don’t exist. / Biological sex dictates gender.
The Truth: The biological sex you know is only truly representative of gender stereotypes. The truth is that, biologically speaking, there are more than two sexes and the only true way to identify such is through karyotypes. Third genders and nonbinary genders have existed through out history, it is not new. The greatest minds in science have time and time again repeated this information, that sex isn’t a binary, that nonbinary people exist, that trans women are really women, trans men are men, and that nonbinary people are nonbinary. Even Bill Nye has said this.
Claim: Things like “stargender” or “noungender” are ruining the representation of the trans community. / “Noungender” is just children trying to get attention and are not actually trans. / People using neopronouns or nounself pronouns are not really trans.
The Truth: This in inaccurate and often times either a bullying tactic towards those who are different, or transphobic people using such to isolate a group of trans people. Some people do not fit into the binary or gender nor feel like they’re in any defined nonbinary genders. So they’ll define themselves with words and terms they enjoy. It’s no different from you feeling more comfort from being called “he” versus “she.” 
And, in the off chance it is someone just seeking attention. It doesn’t matter. Let them have their fun. They’re not ruining anything calling themselves spacegender on tumblr dot com.
Claim: There are people faking being trans to fit into a crowd. / The entire concept of “transtrenders.”
The Truth: Not true. This is just age old blatant “you’re faking” transphobia. 
Claim: Trans people on hrt or post-op can not experience sexual enjoyment.
The Truth: Both will change your body’s entire response to sex. Your enjoyment doesn’t disappear, the entire process just changes to something different. This inaccuracy is spread by transphobes on average and isn’t remotely true.
Claim: Trans people have a high rate of suicide.
The Truth: I’m sorry to say that trans people are under the stress of discrimination from all angles, and on top of other stresses or discriminations one may experience, it leads us into suicidal ideation. But, that’s why we need to stick together and help each other out. If you’re trans and considering suicide, consider the following:
National Suicide Prevention Hotline:  1-800-273-8255
Trans Lifeline USA:  1-877-565-8860
Trans Lifeline Canada: 1-877-330-6366
The Trevor Project Hotline:  1-866-488-7386
The Trevor Project also offers texting and chat
You deserve to live your life. I promise you you’re strong enough to get through this.

trans-mom: Claim: “Trans” is short for “transition.” The Truth: “Trans” is short for “transgender.” It is just a descriptor of a person’s...

anything: sushinfood: justamerplwithabox: vivelafat: prokopetz: officialdeadparrot: grellholmes: elsajeni: gunslingerannie: justtkeepcalmm: dean-and-his-pie: fororchestra: musicalmelody: Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it”  Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect.  To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha. On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious. I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair… Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair. The lengths we go for music. Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek. One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.” And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is: [stifled giggling] [reeeeeeally deep breath] [COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE] The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture. In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.” FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part. This is the best band post  Everyone else go home Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until, that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that Who does that? This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose. Julius IdontgivaFucik More like Julius Fuckit Pyrozod’s tags for this were too hilarious not to share
anything: sushinfood:

justamerplwithabox:

vivelafat:

prokopetz:

officialdeadparrot:

grellholmes:

elsajeni:

gunslingerannie:

justtkeepcalmm:

dean-and-his-pie:

fororchestra:

musicalmelody:

Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it” 
Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect. 

To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.
On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.

I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…

Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.
The lengths we go for music.

Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.

One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”
And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:
[stifled giggling]
[reeeeeeally deep breath]
[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]
The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.
In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”
FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.

This is the best band post 
Everyone else go home

Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this

which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,

that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that

Who does that?

This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose.

Julius IdontgivaFucik

More like Julius Fuckit


Pyrozod’s tags for this were too hilarious not to share

sushinfood: justamerplwithabox: vivelafat: prokopetz: officialdeadparrot: grellholmes: elsajeni: gunslingerannie: justtkeepcalmm:...

anything: Steal Anything For Free
anything: Steal Anything For Free

Steal Anything For Free