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Answer Me: Keaton Patti Follow eKeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of lawyer commercials and then asked it to write a lawyer commercial of its own. Here is the first page LAWYER COMMERCIAL INT. FIRM LAW ROOM A LAWYER stands next to a shelf with books. The books are very wide. They have eaten too many words LAWYER Have you been hurt in an accidental car? Has the government sold your lungs without asking nicely? Are you Mesothelioma? Answer me! The lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch LAWYER (CONT'D) If so, you can act entitled for money. I'l help. I graduated from lawn school and all my teachers were bitten by dogs Words scrol1 across bottom of the screen. These are cases the lawyer takes: UNFAIR STABBING, ILLEGAL SHOES, HUSIC TO0 CANADIAN, SUE THE RAIN, DIvORCE YOUR TOILET, FAKE SONS. LAWYER (CONT'D) I have been a lawyer for over 35 weekends and I'm currently dating the Bill of Rights for fun. We see the Bill of Rights. It's in love. The lawyer will1 break its heart. There's nothing we can do. LAWYER (CONT'D) Let me use it to send your asbestos to court. I will wear two suits and I promise to steal the judge's gavel for you The lawyer opens up the jacket of his first suit. Millions of gavels pour out. His promise has worth LAWYER (CONT D) My clients never go to jail town We see his past clients: a tornado, a tornado, a tornado LAWYER (CONT 'D) Remember, you don't pay any money unless you pay us money. Call for a free use of phone The phone digits appear. It's your social security number A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this
Answer Me: Keaton Patti
 Follow
 eKeatonPatti
 I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours
 of lawyer commercials and then asked it
 to write a lawyer commercial of its own.
 Here is the first page
 LAWYER COMMERCIAL
 INT. FIRM LAW ROOM
 A LAWYER stands next to a shelf with books. The books
 are
 very wide. They have eaten too many words
 LAWYER
 Have you been hurt in an accidental
 car? Has the government sold your
 lungs without asking nicely? Are
 you Mesothelioma? Answer me!
 The lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the
 justice fruit only lawyers may touch
 LAWYER (CONT'D)
 If so, you can act entitled for
 money. I'l help. I graduated from
 lawn school and all my teachers
 were bitten by dogs
 Words scrol1 across bottom of the screen. These are cases the
 lawyer takes: UNFAIR STABBING, ILLEGAL SHOES, HUSIC TO0
 CANADIAN, SUE THE RAIN, DIvORCE YOUR TOILET, FAKE SONS.
 LAWYER (CONT'D)
 I have been a lawyer for over 35
 weekends and I'm currently dating
 the Bill of Rights for fun.
 We see the Bill of Rights. It's in love. The lawyer will1
 break its heart. There's nothing we can do.
 LAWYER (CONT'D)
 Let me use it to send your asbestos
 to court. I will wear two suits and
 I promise to steal the judge's
 gavel for you
 The lawyer opens up the jacket of his first suit. Millions of
 gavels pour out. His promise has worth
 LAWYER (CONT D)
 My clients never go to jail town
 We see his past clients: a tornado, a tornado, a tornado
 LAWYER (CONT 'D)
 Remember, you don't pay any money
 unless you pay us money. Call for a
 free use of phone
 The phone digits appear. It's your social security number
A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this

A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this

Answer Me: coastward answered a scam call today and had the most bizarre conversation coastward scam caller: hello, how are you today? me: great! scam caller: good. I'm calling because your IP address has been compromised. I'll just need you to get in front of your computer so we can get your account fixed up me: okay! there is one thing I'm wondering, though scam caller: what? me: you really couldn't think of a better lie? scam caller: me: like, my "IP address has been compromised." How, exactly, does an IP address become "compromised"? scam caller: me: I was just wondering, is all scam caller: why did you answer? me: me: what? scam caller: if you knew this wasn't a legitimate call, then why did you answer? me: oh, I just though I would have some fun at your expense scam caller: what expense? talking is no expense to me. me: well, you're currently not accomplishing your goal scam caller: my goal? me: your goal of scamming my elderly grandmother. You're not accomplishing that. Il'd call that an expense scam caller: well, can I scam you? me: me: did you- did you ask if you can scam me? scam caller: yes. can I scam you? me, baffled: sure, you can try scam caller: you need to get in front of your computer me: yeah, that's still a problem. I'm eating tater tots right now andI really don't feel like getting up scam caller: okay. I will call you tomorrow morning, then me: I might not answer. My grandma definitely won't. scam caller: You answered today. me: .touché? scam caller: I will call you tomorrow. Have a good day. neko-ritsu Enemies to lovers, slow burn, 500K
Answer Me: coastward
 answered a scam call today and had the most bizarre
 conversation
 coastward
 scam caller: hello, how are you today?
 me: great!
 scam caller: good. I'm calling because your IP
 address has been compromised. I'll just need you to
 get in front of your computer so we can get your
 account fixed up
 me: okay! there is one thing I'm wondering, though
 scam caller: what?
 me: you really couldn't think of a better lie?
 scam caller:
 me: like, my "IP address has been compromised."
 How, exactly, does an IP address become
 "compromised"?
 scam caller:
 me: I was just wondering, is all
 scam caller: why did you answer?
 me:
 me: what?
 scam caller: if you knew this wasn't a legitimate call,
 then why did you answer?
 me: oh, I just though I would have some fun at your
 expense
 scam caller: what expense? talking is no expense to
 me.
 me: well, you're currently not accomplishing your
 goal
 scam caller: my goal?
 me: your goal of scamming my elderly grandmother.
 You're not accomplishing that. Il'd call that an
 expense
 scam caller: well, can I scam you?
 me:
 me: did you- did you ask if you can scam me?
 scam caller: yes. can I scam you?
 me, baffled: sure, you can try
 scam caller: you need to get in front of your
 computer
 me: yeah, that's still a problem. I'm eating tater tots
 right now andI really don't feel like getting up
 scam caller: okay. I will call you tomorrow morning,
 then
 me: I might not answer. My grandma definitely
 won't.
 scam caller: You answered today.
 me: .touché?
 scam caller: I will call you tomorrow. Have a good
 day.
 neko-ritsu
 Enemies to lovers, slow burn, 500K