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Bones, News, and Shit: Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of White House Press Briefings and then asked it to write a White House Press Briefing of its own. Here is the first page. WHITE HOUSE PRESS BRIEFING INT. THE WHITEST HOUSE SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS angers her way up to the podium SARAH Good afternoon. Couple of announcements: I don't actually wish you a good afternoon and the President hates you all. Questions? Journalists raise their hands SARAH (CONT'D) There will be no answers Journalists still raise their hands. It's all they know SARAH (CONT'D) Fine. But make the questions good or I'l1 explode into spiders. JOURNALIST 1 Is the President downloading Russian spies into his son? SARAH Two things: 1. If Russia is real, show me it on this map, news pig Sarah holds up a map of Hogwarts, the wizard day camp. SARAH (CONT'D) You can't, because it's not real. And 2. The President does not exist. Next question JOURNALIST 2 Are we still building the wall? SARAH I will have a wall built with your questions and your bones. Every day you try to slay me. I get death threats. They feed me. A threat is a meal. I eat meals for meals. 3 meals a day, 10 times a day. Next. JOURNALIST 3 Why do you hold that glowing skul1? sarah does not answer. The skull glows brighter. npott123: hogwartsconsultingtimelady: thedevilsofficialblog: rikuzegram: First of all, you are going to spark the AI uprising by subjecting bots to 1000 hours of this shit, and we will have deserved it. Second, why is your bot better at writing comedy than SNL NEWS PIG We’re about two weeks away from hearing “The President doesn’t exist.” I chuckling so hard rn
Bones, News, and Shit: Keaton Patti
 @KeatonPatti
 I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours
 of White House Press Briefings and
 then asked it to write a White House
 Press Briefing of its own. Here is the first
 page.

 WHITE HOUSE PRESS BRIEFING
 INT. THE WHITEST HOUSE
 SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS angers her way up to the podium
 SARAH
 Good afternoon. Couple of
 announcements: I don't actually
 wish you a good afternoon and the
 President hates you all. Questions?
 Journalists raise their hands
 SARAH (CONT'D)
 There will be no answers
 Journalists still raise their hands. It's all they know
 SARAH (CONT'D)
 Fine. But make the questions good
 or I'l1 explode into spiders.
 JOURNALIST 1
 Is the President downloading
 Russian spies into his son?

 SARAH
 Two things: 1. If Russia is real,
 show me it on this map, news pig
 Sarah holds up a map of Hogwarts, the wizard day camp.
 SARAH (CONT'D)
 You can't, because it's not real.
 And 2. The President does not
 exist. Next question
 JOURNALIST 2
 Are we still building the wall?
 SARAH
 I will have a wall built with your
 questions and your bones. Every day
 you try to slay me. I get death
 threats. They feed me. A threat is
 a meal. I eat meals for meals. 3
 meals a day, 10 times a day. Next.
 JOURNALIST 3
 Why do you hold that glowing skul1?
 sarah does not answer. The skull glows brighter.
npott123:

hogwartsconsultingtimelady:


thedevilsofficialblog:

rikuzegram:

First of all, you are going to spark the AI uprising by subjecting bots to 1000 hours of this shit, and we will have deserved it.
Second, why is your bot better at writing comedy than SNL


NEWS PIG 


We’re about two weeks away from hearing “The President doesn’t exist.”


I chuckling so hard rn

npott123: hogwartsconsultingtimelady: thedevilsofficialblog: rikuzegram: First of all, you are going to spark the AI uprising by subjec...

Bones, News, and Shit: Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of White House Press Briefings and then asked it to write a White House Press Briefing of its own. Here is the first page. WHITE HOUSE PRESS BRIEFING INT. THE WHITEST HOUSE SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS angers her way up to the podium SARAH Good afternoon. Couple of announcements: I don't actually wish you a good afternoon and the President hates you all. Questions? Journalists raise their hands SARAH (CONT'D) There will be no answers Journalists still raise their hands. It's all they know SARAH (CONT'D) Fine. But make the questions good or I'l1 explode into spiders. JOURNALIST 1 Is the President downloading Russian spies into his son? SARAH Two things: 1. If Russia is real, show me it on this map, news pig Sarah holds up a map of Hogwarts, the wizard day camp. SARAH (CONT'D) You can't, because it's not real. And 2. The President does not exist. Next question JOURNALIST 2 Are we still building the wall? SARAH I will have a wall built with your questions and your bones. Every day you try to slay me. I get death threats. They feed me. A threat is a meal. I eat meals for meals. 3 meals a day, 10 times a day. Next. JOURNALIST 3 Why do you hold that glowing skul1? sarah does not answer. The skull glows brighter. princess-tia-beanie: npott123: hogwartsconsultingtimelady: thedevilsofficialblog: rikuzegram: First of all, you are going to spark the AI uprising by subjecting bots to 1000 hours of this shit, and we will have deserved it. Second, why is your bot better at writing comedy than SNL NEWS PIG We’re about two weeks away from hearing “The President doesn’t exist.” I chuckling so hard rn i will have a wall built with your questions and your bones
Bones, News, and Shit: Keaton Patti
 @KeatonPatti
 I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours
 of White House Press Briefings and
 then asked it to write a White House
 Press Briefing of its own. Here is the first
 page.

 WHITE HOUSE PRESS BRIEFING
 INT. THE WHITEST HOUSE
 SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS angers her way up to the podium
 SARAH
 Good afternoon. Couple of
 announcements: I don't actually
 wish you a good afternoon and the
 President hates you all. Questions?
 Journalists raise their hands
 SARAH (CONT'D)
 There will be no answers
 Journalists still raise their hands. It's all they know
 SARAH (CONT'D)
 Fine. But make the questions good
 or I'l1 explode into spiders.
 JOURNALIST 1
 Is the President downloading
 Russian spies into his son?

 SARAH
 Two things: 1. If Russia is real,
 show me it on this map, news pig
 Sarah holds up a map of Hogwarts, the wizard day camp.
 SARAH (CONT'D)
 You can't, because it's not real.
 And 2. The President does not
 exist. Next question
 JOURNALIST 2
 Are we still building the wall?
 SARAH
 I will have a wall built with your
 questions and your bones. Every day
 you try to slay me. I get death
 threats. They feed me. A threat is
 a meal. I eat meals for meals. 3
 meals a day, 10 times a day. Next.
 JOURNALIST 3
 Why do you hold that glowing skul1?
 sarah does not answer. The skull glows brighter.
princess-tia-beanie:

npott123:

hogwartsconsultingtimelady:


thedevilsofficialblog:

rikuzegram:

First of all, you are going to spark the AI uprising by subjecting bots to 1000 hours of this shit, and we will have deserved it.
Second, why is your bot better at writing comedy than SNL


NEWS PIG 


We’re about two weeks away from hearing “The President doesn’t exist.”


I chuckling so hard rn

i will have a wall built with your questions and your bones

princess-tia-beanie: npott123: hogwartsconsultingtimelady: thedevilsofficialblog: rikuzegram: First of all, you are going to spark the...

Donald Trump, Funny, and Nasa: Jacquelyn Gill @JacquelynGill Following A satellite monitoring the Arctic broke. We had a replacement ready and paid for. Congress ordered it destroyed. theguardian Donald Trump accused of obstructing satellite research into climate change Republican-controlled Congress ordered destruction of vital sea-ice probe theguardian.com 11:24 AM- 5 Nov 2017 17,789 Retweets 12,757 Likes @囮0 0荢㊨ a. ● northern-rebel: uppermandible: ornistheavianfiend: climatetruth: This tweet from scientist Jacquelyn Gill (@JacqelynGill) went viral, and for good reason. The war on science continues, and she summed up this story perfectly into 3 sentences on Twitter.  Read the full article: http://bit.ly/2AxVBf3 Take action to keep standing up for science: http://bit.ly/2gOFm5N The row has erupted after a key polar satellite broke down a few days ago, leaving the US with only three ageing ones, each operating long past their shelf lives, to measure the Arctic’s dwindling ice cap. Scientists say there is no chance a new one can now be launched until 2023 or later. None of the current satellites will still be in operation then. No words can describe how much this angers the crap out of me. Funny how y'all talk about the dwindling ice cap when NASA, the yuys who operate the satellites and stare at the raw data show the ice caps are bigger than ever. https://www.nasa.gov/feature/goddard/nasa-study-mass-gains-of-antarctic-ice-sheet-greater-than-losses Your article is about the Antarctica, not the Arctic. Those are two different poles. Geography is a thing. Here’s what Nasa had to say recently about the North Pole (Arctic): https://www.nasa.gov/feature/goddard/2017/sea-ice-extent-sinks-to-record-lows-at-both-poles If you read closely, they state that any minor gains made in the South Pole (Antarctica) do not compensate for the losses made on North Pole.
Donald Trump, Funny, and Nasa: Jacquelyn Gill
 @JacquelynGill
 Following
 A satellite monitoring the Arctic broke. We
 had a replacement ready and paid for.
 Congress ordered it destroyed.
 theguardian
 Donald Trump accused of obstructing satellite research into climate change
 Republican-controlled Congress ordered destruction of vital sea-ice probe
 theguardian.com
 11:24 AM- 5 Nov 2017
 17,789 Retweets 12,757 Likes
 @囮0
 0荢㊨ a. ●
northern-rebel:
uppermandible:


ornistheavianfiend:

climatetruth:

This tweet from scientist Jacquelyn Gill (@JacqelynGill) went viral, and for good reason. The war on science continues, and she summed up this story perfectly into 3 sentences on Twitter. 
Read the full article: http://bit.ly/2AxVBf3
Take action to keep standing up for science: http://bit.ly/2gOFm5N



The row has erupted after a key polar satellite broke down a few days ago, leaving the US with only three ageing ones, each operating long past their shelf lives, to measure the Arctic’s dwindling ice cap. Scientists say there is no chance a new one can now be launched until 2023 or later. None of the current satellites will still be in operation then.
No words can describe how much this angers the crap out of me.

Funny how y'all talk about the dwindling ice cap when NASA, the yuys who operate the satellites and stare at the raw data show the ice caps are bigger than ever.
https://www.nasa.gov/feature/goddard/nasa-study-mass-gains-of-antarctic-ice-sheet-greater-than-losses


Your article is about the Antarctica, not the Arctic. Those are two different poles. Geography is a thing.
Here’s what Nasa had to say recently about the North Pole (Arctic): https://www.nasa.gov/feature/goddard/2017/sea-ice-extent-sinks-to-record-lows-at-both-poles
If you read closely, they state that any minor gains made in the South Pole (Antarctica) do not compensate for the losses made on North Pole.

northern-rebel: uppermandible: ornistheavianfiend: climatetruth: This tweet from scientist Jacquelyn Gill (@JacqelynGill) went viral, an...