Ancient Memes

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Bad, Birthday, and Definitely: THE CARDS OF LIFE Birthday Chart JAN FEB MAR APR MAY JUN JUL AUG SEP A OCT NOV DEC Q Ка JA 94 74 54 34 10. 8+ 4+ 2 104 84 64 24 К- J* 94 7+ 3+ 44 3 JA 94 74 54 34 A4 Q+ 10. 84 4¢ 24 4. 104 84 64 44 24 Ke J+ 94 7+ 5+ 3+ A* Q 10 5 94 74 54 84 2+ КФ AA 44 8 6 24 К» J+ 94 7+ 5+ 3+ A* QA 44 10 7 74 54 За AA 8+ 44 2+ Ка JA 8 64 24 КА J* 9+ 7+ 5+ 3+ A* Q4 104 44 A 54 34 Q 10. 8+ 24 Ка 4* JA A 10 24 K* J+ 9+ 7+ 5+ 3+ Q 104 8+ 44 11 34 Q 10+ 8+ 2+ Ка 94 74 Aa 4+ JA 12 24 K* 94 7+ 5+ 3+ A* Q4 104 84 13 8+ AA Q+ 10+ 4* 2* Ка JA 94 74 54 14 K* J+ 9+ 5+ 3+ A. Q& 104 84 64 44 15 Q+ 10+ 8+ 94 54 ЗФ 4* 2+ Ка JA 16 J+ 9+ 7+ 5+ 3+ A* QA 104 84 64 24 44 17 10+ 8+ 4* 2+ КФ JA 94 74 54 3Ф A4 18 9+ 7+ 5+ 30 Q& 104 8+ 24 КУ A* 64 44 19 8+ 6+ 44 Ка 94 74 54 З4 A* Qv 20 7+ 5+ 3¢ Q+ 104 84 24 КУ A* 44 Jv A K A 21 2+ Ка JA 94 74 54 За Qv 10- 4* 22 5+ 3+ Q4 104 8 24 A* 64 44 23 2+ Ка JA 94 74 54 Зф Qv 10v 44 7 24 9 3+ A. Q 104 84 64 44 24 KV Jv 10 25 24 Ка 94 74 54 За Qv 8V JA A4 K 26 Q 104 84 24 A* 64 44 5 27 4 KA JA 94 74 34 A4 Qv 10 8v 28 104 84 24 Kv 5v 3D A 29 94 74 54 3Ф 10v Qv 4v 30 104 44 24 Kv J 7v 3% AV Joker 31 94 54 10% 8V Aa 10 K 10 24 - kuramirocket: screechingstudentperson: queenofallswans: daisydaydreamcarrie: sixpenceee: Have you guys heard of the cards of destiny or birthday cards? According to some sources, it is the original science of the common 52 playing cards. The card that you were born (refer to the above chart) will supposedly offer valuable detail about your personality, year, love life, family, career and other trends. It’s similar to a horoscope. An excerpt from this website talks about the connections behind these cards: There are many significant relationships for a deck of cards that are common with our calendar and numerology. There are four suits of thirteen cards each totaling 52. There are 52 weeks in a year. If you add 5 + 2 = 7, seven is the number of days in a week and a spiritual number that is considered magical in numerology. Based on the Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn, which were the seven visible planets seen in ancient times, the astrologists mapped out 52 cycles that we now call our weeks. Ofcourse there is no peer-reviewed science behind this. But it’s fun to do! You can get a free reading here! This reading reveals your birth card or the theme of your life, and a card that looks into your day, a couple weeks and your year. Were your cards accurate? Feel free to tag @sixpenceee in a post and discuss You may also like my tarot series: http://sixpenceee.com/tagged/tarot  mine was definitely accurate, especially my birth date card. Ok that what scary accurate Ok uh I don’t actually believe this stuff but I got workaholic, severely unhappy with where my life is headed, and bad at telling people no so this one got me P E G G E D This was pretty darn accurate.
Bad, Birthday, and Definitely: THE CARDS OF LIFE
 Birthday
 Chart
 JAN FEB
 MAR APR MAY JUN JUL
 AUG SEP
 A
 OCT NOV DEC
 Q
 Ка
 JA
 94
 74
 54
 34
 10.
 8+
 4+
 2
 104
 84
 64
 24
 К-
 J*
 94
 7+
 3+
 44
 3
 JA
 94
 74
 54
 34
 A4
 Q+
 10.
 84
 4¢
 24
 4.
 104
 84
 64
 44
 24
 Ke
 J+
 94
 7+
 5+
 3+
 A*
 Q
 10
 5
 94
 74
 54
 84
 2+
 КФ
 AA
 44
 8
 6
 24
 К»
 J+
 94
 7+
 5+
 3+
 A*
 QA
 44
 10
 7
 74
 54
 За
 AA
 8+
 44
 2+
 Ка
 JA
 8
 64
 24
 КА
 J*
 9+
 7+
 5+
 3+
 A*
 Q4
 104
 44
 A
 54
 34
 Q
 10.
 8+
 24
 Ка
 4*
 JA
 A
 10
 24
 K*
 J+
 9+
 7+
 5+
 3+
 Q
 104
 8+
 44
 11
 34
 Q
 10+
 8+
 2+
 Ка
 94
 74
 Aa
 4+
 JA
 12
 24
 K*
 94
 7+
 5+
 3+
 A*
 Q4
 104
 84
 13
 8+
 AA
 Q+
 10+
 4*
 2*
 Ка
 JA
 94
 74
 54
 14
 K*
 J+
 9+
 5+
 3+
 A.
 Q&
 104
 84
 64
 44
 15
 Q+
 10+
 8+
 94
 54
 ЗФ
 4*
 2+
 Ка
 JA
 16
 J+
 9+
 7+
 5+
 3+
 A*
 QA
 104
 84
 64
 24
 44
 17
 10+
 8+
 4*
 2+
 КФ
 JA
 94
 74
 54
 3Ф
 A4
 18
 9+
 7+
 5+
 30
 Q&
 104
 8+
 24
 КУ
 A*
 64
 44
 19
 8+
 6+
 44
 Ка
 94
 74
 54
 З4
 A*
 Qv
 20
 7+
 5+
 3¢
 Q+
 104
 84
 24
 КУ
 A*
 44
 Jv
 A
 K
 A
 21
 2+
 Ка
 JA
 94
 74
 54
 За
 Qv
 10-
 4*
 22
 5+
 3+
 Q4
 104
 8
 24
 A*
 64
 44
 23
 2+
 Ка
 JA
 94
 74
 54
 Зф
 Qv
 10v
 44
 7
 24
 9
 3+
 A.
 Q
 104
 84
 64
 44
 24
 KV
 Jv
 10
 25
 24
 Ка
 94
 74
 54
 За
 Qv
 8V
 JA
 A4
 K
 26
 Q
 104
 84
 24
 A*
 64
 44
 5
 27
 4
 KA
 JA
 94
 74
 34
 A4
 Qv
 10
 8v
 28
 104
 84
 24
 Kv
 5v
 3D
 A
 29
 94
 74
 54
 3Ф
 10v
 Qv
 4v
 30
 104
 44
 24
 Kv
 J
 7v
 3%
 AV
 Joker
 31
 94
 54
 10%
 8V
 Aa
 10
 K
 10
 24
 -
kuramirocket:
screechingstudentperson:


queenofallswans:

daisydaydreamcarrie:

sixpenceee:


Have you guys heard of the cards of destiny or birthday cards? According to some sources, it  is the original science of the common 52 playing cards. The card that you were born (refer to the above chart) will supposedly offer valuable detail about your personality, year, love life, family, career and other trends. It’s similar to a horoscope.
An excerpt from this website talks about the connections behind these cards:
There are many significant relationships for a deck of cards that are common with our calendar and numerology. There are four suits of thirteen cards each totaling 52. There are 52 weeks in a year. If you add 5 + 2 = 7, seven is the number of days in a week and a spiritual number that is considered magical in numerology. Based on the Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn, which were the seven visible planets seen in ancient times, the astrologists mapped out 52 cycles that we now call our weeks.
Ofcourse there is no peer-reviewed science behind this. But it’s fun to do!
You can get a free reading here! This reading reveals your birth card or the theme of your life, and a card that looks into your day, a couple weeks and your year.
Were your cards accurate? Feel free to tag @sixpenceee in a post and discuss
You may also like my tarot series: http://sixpenceee.com/tagged/tarot 


mine was definitely accurate, especially my birth date card.


Ok that what scary accurate


Ok uh I don’t actually believe this stuff but I got workaholic, severely unhappy with where my life is headed, and bad at telling people no so this one got me P E G G E D


This was pretty darn accurate.

kuramirocket: screechingstudentperson: queenofallswans: daisydaydreamcarrie: sixpenceee: Have you guys heard of the cards of destiny o...

Bitch, Children, and Fall: arianod: rainbowbarnacle: alexander-lamington: gallusrostromegalus: jhaernyl: botanyshitposts: spirit-of-science: thebloggerbloggerfun: teafortrouble: eteo: fall-for-nothing: trickster-eridan: buttpilgrim: scientificperfection: kittiesinthemorning: I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟ it’s back Satan lemon every villain is lemons And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit. And now: The Weather. This kind of looks like a Buddha’s hand to me they’re a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddha’s hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses? @botanyshitposts do you know about this? a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddha’s hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twisty ‘arms’ are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddha’s hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway.  im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit.  @gallusrostromegalus WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE! The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uh… it’s mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens. All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this: It’s big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.  YAMAOG also finds out that it’s REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhudda’s palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit. YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.  In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch. Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are If you’ve had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns. If it’s only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you. GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like it’s actually rotting, it’s safe to eat!  weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual. Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice! @motorizedduck relevant
Bitch, Children, and Fall: arianod:
rainbowbarnacle:

alexander-lamington:

gallusrostromegalus:

jhaernyl:

botanyshitposts:


spirit-of-science:

thebloggerbloggerfun:

teafortrouble:

eteo:

fall-for-nothing:

trickster-eridan:

buttpilgrim:

scientificperfection:

kittiesinthemorning:

I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK

when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟

it’s back

Satan lemon

every villain is lemons

And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit.

And now: The Weather.

This kind of looks like a Buddha’s hand to me
they’re a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddha’s hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses?

@botanyshitposts do you know about this?

a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddha’s hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twisty ‘arms’ are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddha’s hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway. 
im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit. 


@gallusrostromegalus 

WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE!
The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uh… it’s mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens.
All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this:
It’s big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.  YAMAOG also finds out that it’s REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhudda’s palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit.
YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.  In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch.
Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are
If you’ve had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns.
If it’s only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you.
GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like it’s actually rotting, it’s safe to eat!  weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual.
Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice!



@motorizedduck

relevant

arianod: rainbowbarnacle: alexander-lamington: gallusrostromegalus: jhaernyl: botanyshitposts: spirit-of-science: thebloggerbloggerfu...

Tumblr, Blog, and Tree: ancientorigins:The “Thinking Tree”, an ancient olive tree in Puglia, Italy
Tumblr, Blog, and Tree: ancientorigins:The “Thinking Tree”, an ancient olive tree in Puglia, Italy

ancientorigins:The “Thinking Tree”, an ancient olive tree in Puglia, Italy

Bitch, Children, and Fall: arianod: rainbowbarnacle: alexander-lamington: gallusrostromegalus: jhaernyl: botanyshitposts: spirit-of-science: thebloggerbloggerfun: teafortrouble: eteo: fall-for-nothing: trickster-eridan: buttpilgrim: scientificperfection: kittiesinthemorning: I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟ it’s back Satan lemon every villain is lemons And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit. And now: The Weather. This kind of looks like a Buddha’s hand to me they’re a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddha’s hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses? @botanyshitposts do you know about this? a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddha’s hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twisty ‘arms’ are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddha’s hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway.  im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit.  @gallusrostromegalus WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE! The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uh… it’s mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens. All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this: It’s big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.  YAMAOG also finds out that it’s REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhudda’s palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit. YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.  In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch. Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are If you’ve had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns. If it’s only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you. GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like it’s actually rotting, it’s safe to eat!  weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual. Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice! @motorizedduck relevant
Bitch, Children, and Fall: arianod:

rainbowbarnacle:

alexander-lamington:

gallusrostromegalus:

jhaernyl:

botanyshitposts:


spirit-of-science:

thebloggerbloggerfun:

teafortrouble:

eteo:

fall-for-nothing:

trickster-eridan:

buttpilgrim:

scientificperfection:

kittiesinthemorning:

I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK

when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟

it’s back

Satan lemon

every villain is lemons

And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit.

And now: The Weather.

This kind of looks like a Buddha’s hand to me
they’re a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddha’s hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses?

@botanyshitposts do you know about this?

a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddha’s hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twisty ‘arms’ are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddha’s hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway. 
im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit. 


@gallusrostromegalus 

WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE!
The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uh… it’s mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens.
All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this:
It’s big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.  YAMAOG also finds out that it’s REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhudda’s palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit.
YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.  In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch.
Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are
If you’ve had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns.
If it’s only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you.
GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like it’s actually rotting, it’s safe to eat!  weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual.
Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice!



@motorizedduck

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