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Af, Amazon, and Anaconda: His freedom ride home, he realized he was being adopted. He also tried to steal my cheeseburger @DrSmashlove Reddit u/3riny3s A few weeks ago I hyped up a anti perspirant called Tomโ€™s North Woods. It smells absolutely wonderful and works great. HOWEVER. It got aluminum in it ๐Ÿ˜–. Bro!! How u gon be a natural product and u got aluminum! I read the packaging closely and it said โ€œnaturally sourced aluminum.โ€ FOH ๐Ÿ˜‚. โ€œWe naturally select our poisonous metallic substances from the finest natural mines.โ€ Aluminum is an ELEMENT. Itโ€™s pure. There is no difference between aluminum from recycled pepsi cans and aluminum from a mine. I was mad AF ๐Ÿ˜ค. So I went back on my quest to find something natural. Well lo and behold Tomโ€™s makes natural deodorant thatโ€™s called โ€œwild lavenderโ€. And lemme tell u - it smell pleasant asf! Like basically u slather it on and u sniff ya underarm and u magically transported to the soap aisle of Whole Food and a pleasant hipster girl with ear spacers, short hair, and a name tag that say โ€œRAINโ€ smile at u ๐Ÿ˜ (side note: was she born โ€˜Rainโ€™? Or is her name Mandy but she adopted the name โ€˜Rainโ€™ after attending burning man and dropping acid once? Maybe her Nani make it โ€˜Rainโ€™? ๐Ÿ˜ lmao Iโ€™m wild lemme stop ๐Ÿ˜‚.) Caveat: if u work out hard AF like me, it will wear off a lil bit. Like for a 100 degree hot summertime Chi day u might could go with the Tomโ€™s north woods aluminum joint. It will give u cancer-memory loss but at least u smell spicy ๐Ÿ˜‚. Also and I done said this before: I shave my public hair which is a tradition among people of my faith. I know some of u women like โ€œew - DEALBREAKER!โ€ WELL FUโ€” just kidding! Baby girl thatโ€™s fair! ๐Ÿ˜‚ I accept our incompatibility and hope u find the hairy Chewbacca lookin a$$ Man of ya dreams! ๐Ÿ˜ Now then u men out here at the gym with the grapefruit sized amazon rainforest patch of stinky-ass underarm hair that drip white liquid on the elliptical, the โ€˜wild lavenderโ€™ may not cut it ๐Ÿ˜‚. Yโ€™all got that โ€˜built inโ€™ stincc u probably need Mitchum. But if u down with that razor life it will give u plenty of protection against Le Stincc. May all of u live blessed and chemical free lives bless up ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚
Af, Amazon, and Anaconda: His freedom ride home, he realized he was
 being adopted. He also tried to steal my
 cheeseburger
 @DrSmashlove
 Reddit u/3riny3s
A few weeks ago I hyped up a anti perspirant called Tomโ€™s North Woods. It smells absolutely wonderful and works great. HOWEVER. It got aluminum in it ๐Ÿ˜–. Bro!! How u gon be a natural product and u got aluminum! I read the packaging closely and it said โ€œnaturally sourced aluminum.โ€ FOH ๐Ÿ˜‚. โ€œWe naturally select our poisonous metallic substances from the finest natural mines.โ€ Aluminum is an ELEMENT. Itโ€™s pure. There is no difference between aluminum from recycled pepsi cans and aluminum from a mine. I was mad AF ๐Ÿ˜ค. So I went back on my quest to find something natural. Well lo and behold Tomโ€™s makes natural deodorant thatโ€™s called โ€œwild lavenderโ€. And lemme tell u - it smell pleasant asf! Like basically u slather it on and u sniff ya underarm and u magically transported to the soap aisle of Whole Food and a pleasant hipster girl with ear spacers, short hair, and a name tag that say โ€œRAINโ€ smile at u ๐Ÿ˜ (side note: was she born โ€˜Rainโ€™? Or is her name Mandy but she adopted the name โ€˜Rainโ€™ after attending burning man and dropping acid once? Maybe her Nani make it โ€˜Rainโ€™? ๐Ÿ˜ lmao Iโ€™m wild lemme stop ๐Ÿ˜‚.) Caveat: if u work out hard AF like me, it will wear off a lil bit. Like for a 100 degree hot summertime Chi day u might could go with the Tomโ€™s north woods aluminum joint. It will give u cancer-memory loss but at least u smell spicy ๐Ÿ˜‚. Also and I done said this before: I shave my public hair which is a tradition among people of my faith. I know some of u women like โ€œew - DEALBREAKER!โ€ WELL FUโ€” just kidding! Baby girl thatโ€™s fair! ๐Ÿ˜‚ I accept our incompatibility and hope u find the hairy Chewbacca lookin a$$ Man of ya dreams! ๐Ÿ˜ Now then u men out here at the gym with the grapefruit sized amazon rainforest patch of stinky-ass underarm hair that drip white liquid on the elliptical, the โ€˜wild lavenderโ€™ may not cut it ๐Ÿ˜‚. Yโ€™all got that โ€˜built inโ€™ stincc u probably need Mitchum. But if u down with that razor life it will give u plenty of protection against Le Stincc. May all of u live blessed and chemical free lives bless up ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚

A few weeks ago I hyped up a anti perspirant called Tomโ€™s North Woods. It smells absolutely wonderful and works great. HOWEVER. It got alumi...

Best Friend, Bless Up, and College: You can see the meaning of the universe in those two eyes. So my lil homegirl sent me a link to this coffee made by Dark Matter thatโ€™s called Unicorn Blood. Tried it. Not gon lie, delicious. But Unicorn Blood? Yโ€™all doin too much. U coffee roasters Bruv a lot of yโ€™all getting real comfortable selling good (but not life changing) coffee for $15.99 a bag and Iโ€™m thinking I might come for yโ€™all. Coffee is my thing and if I had the time and the roasting equipment, I could stomp yโ€™all out completely. And I know what Iโ€™d name my coffee blend, too: Mermaid Period. Yโ€™all think Unicorn Blood is rare? Yโ€™all ainโ€™t seen rare. First of all a Unicorn is just a horse with a horn. That sh!t low key basic. A good plastic surgeon could make one. If a plastic surgeon could make the Kardashians Black bruv? He could throw a horn on a horse nah thatโ€™s basic. Mermaids? Bruv thatโ€™s half woman half fish. Up top she a sexy, comely ginger with seashells on her Tetas. Waist down? All flipper. Whereโ€™s the Punani? Exactly. Even if a mermaid had a Punani (which she canโ€™t because issa flipper), would she even have a period? How? Do she wear faded, washed 7,000 times, soft-as-silk (๐Ÿ˜) Period panty granny panties over her flipper? Or do she just freeball it bleeding out her sweet, precious, mythical, menstrual magnificence into the ocean with reckless abandon so that if a random scuba diver named Aiden from Newport Beach with floopy blond hair is swimming by and perchance catches a glorious taste, his heart explodes with love and affection and his head pops off his body and his scuba diving companion William is at his funeral just like โ€œI know yโ€™all will never believe me because I used to drop acid when I attended college but my best friend died after inhaling Mermaid Period then his head popped off his body and a shark ate it good night ๐Ÿ˜ข.โ€ Bam. Straight like that. It will be beautifully rich, reddish in color, deliciously fragrant, and invigorating - just like regular Period (But Iโ€™ll call it Mermaid Period because yโ€™all love it when these beverage companies are extra ๐Ÿค—). Coming to your grocery aisle fall 2018. Starbucks, Peetโ€™s and Dark Matter - yโ€™all on notice. Bless up ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
Best Friend, Bless Up, and College: You can see the meaning
 of the universe in those
 two eyes.
So my lil homegirl sent me a link to this coffee made by Dark Matter thatโ€™s called Unicorn Blood. Tried it. Not gon lie, delicious. But Unicorn Blood? Yโ€™all doin too much. U coffee roasters Bruv a lot of yโ€™all getting real comfortable selling good (but not life changing) coffee for $15.99 a bag and Iโ€™m thinking I might come for yโ€™all. Coffee is my thing and if I had the time and the roasting equipment, I could stomp yโ€™all out completely. And I know what Iโ€™d name my coffee blend, too: Mermaid Period. Yโ€™all think Unicorn Blood is rare? Yโ€™all ainโ€™t seen rare. First of all a Unicorn is just a horse with a horn. That sh!t low key basic. A good plastic surgeon could make one. If a plastic surgeon could make the Kardashians Black bruv? He could throw a horn on a horse nah thatโ€™s basic. Mermaids? Bruv thatโ€™s half woman half fish. Up top she a sexy, comely ginger with seashells on her Tetas. Waist down? All flipper. Whereโ€™s the Punani? Exactly. Even if a mermaid had a Punani (which she canโ€™t because issa flipper), would she even have a period? How? Do she wear faded, washed 7,000 times, soft-as-silk (๐Ÿ˜) Period panty granny panties over her flipper? Or do she just freeball it bleeding out her sweet, precious, mythical, menstrual magnificence into the ocean with reckless abandon so that if a random scuba diver named Aiden from Newport Beach with floopy blond hair is swimming by and perchance catches a glorious taste, his heart explodes with love and affection and his head pops off his body and his scuba diving companion William is at his funeral just like โ€œI know yโ€™all will never believe me because I used to drop acid when I attended college but my best friend died after inhaling Mermaid Period then his head popped off his body and a shark ate it good night ๐Ÿ˜ข.โ€ Bam. Straight like that. It will be beautifully rich, reddish in color, deliciously fragrant, and invigorating - just like regular Period (But Iโ€™ll call it Mermaid Period because yโ€™all love it when these beverage companies are extra ๐Ÿค—). Coming to your grocery aisle fall 2018. Starbucks, Peetโ€™s and Dark Matter - yโ€™all on notice. Bless up ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

So my lil homegirl sent me a link to this coffee made by Dark Matter thatโ€™s called Unicorn Blood. Tried it. Not gon lie, delicious. But Unic...