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Chicago, College, and Dank: Got denied from harvard s March 2015 2.8 HARVARD COLLEGK Office of Admissions and Financial Aid Molly McGaan 330 W. Webster Ave Chicago, Il 60614 Dear Ms. McGaan: Thank you for your interest in Harvard College. After careful consideration of your application, I am sorry to inform you that we are unable to offer you a place in the class of 2019. This year's application pool was the strongest in the College's history, and we are unable to offer admission to every student, regardless of their proficiency in "dank memes", or their level of "Swagg moneyyyy." Although your GPA and ACT scores were certainly up to our standards, your essays raised some eyebrows at the admissions meetings. For future reference, it is not wise to start an essay with the words, "listen here u little slanks" and end with "McGaan out "drops mic We also didn't need a copy of your mixtape, regardless of how ire" it is (one admissions counselor actually listened to it, and we are pretty sure 40 minutes of you making animal noises is not fire"). In addition, we will be returning your copy of Grownups 2 signed by Chancellor Angela Merkel, because you said it's your "greatest possession" and we don't want it. We also suggest obtaining recommendation letters from teachers or trusted mentors, not "my #4 side ho Derek" or Chief Kee, who submitted a picture of a dinosaur drawn in crayon on a rolling paper. We greatly appreciate your interest in Harvard, and we offer our best wishes of success as you pursue your educational goals
Chicago, College, and Dank: Got denied from harvard s
 March 2015
 2.8
 HARVARD COLLEGK Office of Admissions and Financial Aid
 Molly McGaan
 330 W. Webster Ave
 Chicago, Il 60614
 Dear Ms. McGaan:
 Thank you for your interest in Harvard College.
 After careful consideration of your application, I am sorry to inform you that we are
 unable to offer you a place in the class of 2019. This year's application pool was the strongest in
 the College's history, and we are unable to offer admission to every student, regardless of their
 proficiency in "dank memes", or their level of "Swagg moneyyyy." Although your GPA and
 ACT scores were certainly up to our standards, your essays raised some eyebrows at the
 admissions meetings. For future reference, it is not wise to start an essay with the words, "listen
 here u little slanks" and end with "McGaan out "drops mic We also didn't need a copy of
 your mixtape, regardless of how ire" it is (one admissions counselor actually listened to it, and
 we are pretty sure 40 minutes of you making animal noises is not fire"). In addition, we will be
 returning your copy of Grownups 2 signed by Chancellor Angela Merkel, because you said it's
 your "greatest possession" and we don't want it. We also suggest obtaining recommendation
 letters from teachers or trusted mentors, not "my #4 side ho Derek" or Chief Kee, who
 submitted a picture of a dinosaur drawn in crayon on a rolling paper.
 We greatly appreciate your interest in Harvard, and we offer our best wishes of success
 as you pursue your educational goals
Animals, Desperate, and Dogs: sistercrow stormcloak Cilford the Big Red Dog by Sandara OH MY GOD Can we have a Clifford live action movie? Not a kids movie either Like, Emily Elizabeth's parents are working for a government agency developing a super soldier serum. None of their testing is working and they start testing the serum on larger mammals in hopes of seeing better results. They inject a variety of animals, including a dog Nothing. They are desperate and on the verge of having their project shut down when they notice one of the test dogs is pregnant. It gives birth and they bring one of the puppies home for their daughter To their shock, the puppy they brought home starts to grow at an incredible rate, its fur mutating into a brilliant red as it does so. They are ecstatic because their research has finally seen a result, albeit one they weren't expecting. There is only one problem Clifford has become attached to Emily and refuses to leave her side Emily, too, has fallen in love with her new pet. They decide to let their project be canceled rather than try to separate the two. Unfortunately the government discovers their secret and begins a campaign to retrieve Clifford at any costs. During the initial conflict, Emily Elizabeth's parents are killed trying to help her and Clifford escape Emily and her dog flee into the wild. This sets the opening of the movie Over the course of the movie, Emily and Clifford are on the run and we see Emily grow into a young woman, everything about her honed into a survivalist expert. She and Clifford roam the backwoods constantly in fear of being captured. On one of her rare trips into towrn one day, Emily witnesses a bank robbery in progress involving multiple hostages. She calls Clifford and the two of them save the lives of the hostages but wreck the bank in the process. The local news capture footage of Clifford and it isn't long before the military arrives in town Emily wants to just run away again, but she sees that the military is destroying the town, driving people out of their homes and destroying property in their search. She decides that enough is enough and rides Clifford back into town and fights the military. Amidst the fighting a huge truck arrives. A general (who was her parent's superior officer) gets out and smirks. He tells Emily Elizabeth that Clifford's mother wasn't the only animal that gave birth to a litter of babies after receiving an injection. The back of the truck unfolds to reveal a massive tabby cat. The cat strains against its bindings and tears free immediately leaping onto a nearby group of soldiers and devouring them. Emily is horrified and orders Clifford to attack What follows is the dramatic battle between Clifford and the mutant cat. Clifford has strength, but the cat is too fast and agile. It looks like Clifford is down for the count, when the townsfolk, recognizing that Clifford is on their side, come to his aid. They distract the cat long enough for him to finish the beast off for good The military retreats, the general swearing vengeance on the two of them, and Emily and Clifford ride off into the night once more. But the legend of the big red dog has already started. And Emily Elizabeth knows that the day will come when she and Clifford will need to ride into battle against the forces of evil once more The credits roll Post credits, the screen fades to black for a moment. The sound of waves crashing on shore fills the air. The screen flashes brilliant white The light of the lighthouse moves on, revealing a rocky shore on a rainy day. The camera pans down to find Clifford and Emily gazing out to sea. A massive object hangs in the air off the coast, obscured in the clouds. A smaller object rapidly approaches them. It resolves itseltf into an advanced helicopter that silently lands just down the shore from them. Clifford lets out a low growl but Emily quiets him with a hand on his leg. A lone figure emerges from the aircraft, huddling his arms around himself to fight off the cold He approaches the two. His hair is short and somewhat curly. He wears glasses and a grey flannel shirt and seems unlikely to pose a threat to the two "Emily Elizabeth," he says over the sound of the crashing surf, "I worked with your parents. It's taken us a while to find you, after the Birdwell Island incident." "And who exactly is 'us'," she responds, eyes narrowing suspiciously. gnoring her question, the man continues. "Me and Clifford have a lot in common, actually. He smiles a little awkwardly, then presses on. "I was hoping you might be interested in meeting my boss. He's fairly excited to talk with you. You still haven't answered my question. Who are you and who do you work for?" The man smiles. "My name is Banner. And I'm hear to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative. mo re Fun on likealaugh.org I Would Watch It
Animals, Desperate, and Dogs: sistercrow
 stormcloak
 Cilford the Big Red Dog by Sandara
 OH MY GOD
 Can we have a Clifford live action movie? Not a kids movie either
 Like, Emily Elizabeth's parents are working for a government agency
 developing a super soldier serum. None of their testing is working and
 they start testing the serum on larger mammals in hopes of seeing
 better results. They inject a variety of animals, including a dog
 Nothing. They are desperate and on the verge of having their project
 shut down when they notice one of the test dogs is pregnant. It gives
 birth and they bring one of the puppies home for their daughter
 To their shock, the puppy they brought home starts to grow at an
 incredible rate, its fur mutating into a brilliant red as it does so. They
 are ecstatic because their research has finally seen a result, albeit
 one they weren't expecting. There is only one problem
 Clifford has become attached to Emily and refuses to leave her side
 Emily, too, has fallen in love with her new pet. They decide to let their
 project be canceled rather than try to separate the two. Unfortunately
 the government discovers their secret and begins a campaign to
 retrieve Clifford at any costs. During the initial conflict, Emily
 Elizabeth's parents are killed trying to help her and Clifford escape
 Emily and her dog flee into the wild. This sets the opening of the
 movie
 Over the course of the movie, Emily and Clifford are on the run and
 we see Emily grow into a young woman, everything about her honed
 into a survivalist expert. She and Clifford roam the backwoods
 constantly in fear of being captured. On one of her rare trips into towrn
 one day, Emily witnesses a bank robbery in progress involving multiple
 hostages. She calls Clifford and the two of them save the lives of the
 hostages but wreck the bank in the process. The local news capture
 footage of Clifford and it isn't long before the military arrives in town
 Emily wants to just run away again, but she sees that the military is
 destroying the town, driving people out of their homes and destroying
 property in their search. She decides that enough is enough and rides
 Clifford back into town and fights the military. Amidst the fighting a
 huge truck arrives. A general (who was her parent's superior officer)
 gets out and smirks. He tells Emily Elizabeth that Clifford's mother
 wasn't the only animal that gave birth to a litter of babies after
 receiving an injection. The back of the truck unfolds to reveal a
 massive tabby cat. The cat strains against its bindings and tears free
 immediately leaping onto a nearby group of soldiers and devouring
 them. Emily is horrified and orders Clifford to attack
 What follows is the dramatic battle between Clifford and the mutant
 cat. Clifford has strength, but the cat is too fast and agile. It looks like
 Clifford is down for the count, when the townsfolk, recognizing that
 Clifford is on their side, come to his aid. They distract the cat long
 enough for him to finish the beast off for good
 The military retreats, the general swearing vengeance on the two of
 them, and Emily and Clifford ride off into the night once more. But the
 legend of the big red dog has already started. And Emily Elizabeth
 knows that the day will come when she and Clifford will need to ride
 into battle against the forces of evil once more
 The credits roll
 Post credits, the screen fades to black for a moment. The sound of
 waves crashing on shore fills the air. The screen flashes brilliant white
 The light of the lighthouse moves on, revealing a rocky shore on a
 rainy day. The camera pans down to find Clifford and Emily gazing out
 to sea. A massive object hangs in the air off the coast, obscured in
 the clouds. A smaller object rapidly approaches them. It resolves itseltf
 into an advanced helicopter that silently lands just down the shore
 from them. Clifford lets out a low growl but Emily quiets him with a
 hand on his leg. A lone figure emerges from the aircraft, huddling his
 arms around himself to fight off the cold
 He approaches the two. His hair is short and somewhat curly. He
 wears glasses and a grey flannel shirt and seems unlikely to pose a
 threat to the two
 "Emily Elizabeth," he says over the sound of the crashing surf, "I
 worked with your parents. It's taken us a while to find you, after the
 Birdwell Island incident."
 "And who exactly is 'us'," she responds, eyes narrowing suspiciously.
 gnoring her question, the man continues. "Me and Clifford have a lot
 in common, actually. He smiles a little awkwardly, then presses on. "I
 was hoping you might be interested in meeting my boss. He's fairly
 excited to talk with you.
 You still haven't answered my question. Who are you and who do you
 work for?"
 The man smiles. "My name is Banner. And I'm hear to talk to you
 about the Avengers Initiative.
 mo
 re Fun on likealaugh.org
I Would Watch It

I Would Watch It

Beautiful, Complex, and Food: delladilly do you ever see someone in some quiet intimate moment and suddenly love them so desperately you feel like you're dying #1ike when they pass a mirror and make a face and mess with their hair a little #or when you hear someone singing in their car with the windows rolled up as they drive past you #1 don't know how to express this i ust and it makes me so sad and filled up sometimes le are le mrrrl I love seeing grown humans setting about little creative tasks out of boredom and then looking quietly pleased with themselves, like maybe a middle-aged woman on her train home from work manages to make a tower out of empty coffee creamers and gazes at it proudly for a few seconds I love seeing other people make the overblown OOPS I FORGOT SOMETHING performance for no-one that most of us do when we have to turn around in the middle of the pavement. I love seeing stony-faced people in queues unable to contain a smile when a baby looking over its mother's shoulder in front of them locks eyes and does that astonished stare brittajj26 when someone is standing in line and they don't quite dance to the music playing, but you can SEE their head bop and them mouthing the words when someone thinks no one's paying attention and they sing-talk themselves thru a task when they laugh or try to hide a laugh when looking at their phone elodieunderglass when someone does the thing where they enter another space (such as a supermarket aisle) striding with total purpose, then suddenly forget what they re doing/looking for, and stop there looking blank for a millisecond while they reboot. when people are looking for scissors, in their home or in a store, and they make the scissors gesture with their non-dominant hand as an aid to remind them what they're doing - when automatic social interactions glitch, like when you tell a waiter that you hope he enjoys his food too, or tell the stranger on the phone that you love them the hand gesture people make when they're thinking at their computer, not typing, and their elbow rests on the table, and they feel the edge of their fingernail with their thumb. This is such a lovely little gesture and to my knowledge I have never seen it in fiction. You'd think it would come up all the time in fic. - when you're sharing an experience with a complete stranger (like watching a seagull throw up in public, or waiting for a late train) and you make eye contact, and some comment to each other, and then you guys are, like, ALLIES now. Like you would willingly ride to war to save them. You can't make eye contact again, but you are very aware of them - just evidence of other people's rich, baffling and complex inner lives 207,680 notes Everyone is made up of such beautiful specific details
Beautiful, Complex, and Food: delladilly
 do you ever see someone in some quiet intimate moment and suddenly love
 them so desperately you feel like you're dying
 #1ike when they pass a mirror and make a face and mess with their hair a little
 #or when you hear someone singing in their car with the windows rolled up as
 they drive past you #1 don't know how to express this i ust
 and it makes me so sad and filled up sometimes
 le are
 le
 mrrrl
 I love seeing grown humans setting about little creative tasks out of boredom
 and then looking quietly pleased with themselves, like maybe a middle-aged
 woman on her train home from work manages to make a tower out of empty
 coffee creamers and gazes at it proudly for a few seconds
 I love seeing other people make the overblown OOPS I FORGOT SOMETHING
 performance for no-one that most of us do when we have to turn around in the
 middle of the pavement.
 I love seeing stony-faced people in queues unable to contain a smile when a
 baby looking over its mother's shoulder in front of them locks eyes and does that
 astonished stare
 brittajj26
 when someone is standing in line and they don't quite dance to the music
 playing, but you can SEE their head bop and them mouthing the words
 when someone thinks no one's paying attention and they sing-talk themselves
 thru a task
 when they laugh or try to hide a laugh when looking at their phone
 elodieunderglass
 when someone does the thing where they enter another space (such as a
 supermarket aisle) striding with total purpose, then suddenly forget what they re
 doing/looking for, and stop there looking blank for a millisecond while they
 reboot.
 when people are looking for scissors, in their home or in a store, and they
 make the scissors gesture with their non-dominant hand as an aid to remind
 them what they're doing
 - when automatic social interactions glitch, like when you tell a waiter that you
 hope he enjoys his food too, or tell the stranger on the phone that you love
 them
 the hand gesture people make when they're thinking at their computer, not
 typing, and their elbow rests on the table, and they feel the edge of their
 fingernail with their thumb. This is such a lovely little gesture and to my
 knowledge I have never seen it in fiction. You'd think it would come up all the
 time in fic.
 - when you're sharing an experience with a complete stranger (like watching a
 seagull throw up in public, or waiting for a late train) and you make eye contact,
 and some comment to each other, and then you guys are, like, ALLIES now.
 Like you would willingly ride to war to save them. You can't make eye contact
 again, but you are very aware of them
 - just evidence of other people's rich, baffling and complex inner lives
 207,680 notes
Everyone is made up of such beautiful specific details

Everyone is made up of such beautiful specific details

Donald Trump, Driving, and God: gay victim soul @tragicgay Whenever I see news about how SNL or John Oliver or John Stewart "destroyed" Donald Trump my mind instinctively goes to this Vonnegut quote "During the Vietnam War, every respectable artist in this country was against the war. It was like a laser beam. We were all aimed in the same direction. The power of this weapon turns out to be that of a custard pie dropped from a stepladder six feet high." - feathersescapism: Every time I see this quote I realize how poor even very smart people are at looking at the long game and at assessing these things in context. One of my favourite illustrations of this was in a First Aid class. The instructor was a working paramedic. He asked, “Who here knows the stats on CPR? What percentage of people are saved by CPR outside a hospital?” I happen to know but I’m trying not to be a TOTAL know it all in this class so I wait. And people guess 50% and he says, “Lower,” and 20% and so forth and eventually I sort of half put up my hand and I guess I had The Face because he eventually looked at me and said, “You know, don’t you.” “My mom’s a doc,” I said. He gave me a “so say it” gesture and I said, “Four to ten percent depending on your sources.” Everyone else looked surprised and horrified. And the paramedic said, “We’re gonna talk a bit about some details of those figures* but first I want to talk about just this: when do you do CPR?” The class dutifully replies: when someone is unconscious, not breathing, and has no pulse. “What do we call someone who is unconscious, not breathing, and has no pulse?” The class tries to figure out what the trick question is so I jump over the long pause and say, “A corpse.” “Right,” says the paramedic. “Someone who isn’t breathing and has no heartbeat is dead. So what I’m telling you is that with this technique you have a 4-10% chance of raising the dead.” So no, artists did not stop the Vietnam War from happening with the sheer Power of Art. The forces driving that military intervention were huge, had generations of momentum and are actually pretty damn complicated. But if you think the mass rejection of the war was as meaningless as a soufflé - well. Try sitting here for ten seconds and imagining where we’d be if the entire intellectual and artistic drive of the culture had been FOR the war. If everyone thought it was a GREAT IDEA. What the whole world would look like. Four-to-ten percent means that ninety to ninety-six percent of the time - more than nine times out of ten - CPR will do nothing, but that one time you’ll be in the company of someone worshipped as an incarnate god. If you think the artists and performers attacking and showing up people like Donald Trump is meaningless try imagining a version of the world wherein they weren’t there. (*if you’re curious: those stats count EVERY reported case of CPR, while the effectiveness of it is extremely time-related. With those who have had continuous CPR from the SECOND they went down, the number is actually above 80%. It drops hugely every 30 seconds from then on. When you count ALL cases you count cases where the person has already been down several minutes but a bystander still starts CPR, which affects the stats)
Donald Trump, Driving, and God: gay victim soul
 @tragicgay
 Whenever I see news about how SNL or
 John Oliver or John Stewart "destroyed"
 Donald Trump my mind instinctively goes
 to this Vonnegut quote
 "During the Vietnam War,
 every respectable artist in
 this country was against
 the war. It was like a laser
 beam. We were all aimed
 in the same direction. The
 power of this weapon turns
 out to be that of a custard
 pie dropped from a
 stepladder six feet high." -
feathersescapism:

Every time I see this quote I realize how poor even very smart people are at looking at the long game and at assessing these things in context. 
One of my favourite illustrations of this was in a First Aid class. The instructor was a working paramedic. He asked, “Who here knows the stats on CPR? What percentage of people are saved by CPR outside a hospital?”
I happen to know but I’m trying not to be a TOTAL know it all in this class so I wait. And people guess 50% and he says, “Lower,” and 20% and so forth and eventually I sort of half put up my hand and I guess I had The Face because he eventually looked at me and said, “You know, don’t you.”
“My mom’s a doc,” I said. He gave me a “so say it” gesture and I said, “Four to ten percent depending on your sources.” 
Everyone else looked surprised and horrified. 
And the paramedic said, “We’re gonna talk a bit about some details of those figures* but first I want to talk about just this: when do you do CPR?” 
The class dutifully replies: when someone is unconscious, not breathing, and has no pulse. 
“What do we call someone who is unconscious, not breathing, and has no pulse?”
The class tries to figure out what the trick question is so I jump over the long pause and say, “A corpse.”
“Right,” says the paramedic. “Someone who isn’t breathing and has no heartbeat is dead. So what I’m telling you is that with this technique you have a 4-10% chance of raising the dead.”
So no, artists did not stop the Vietnam War from happening with the sheer Power of Art. The forces driving that military intervention were huge, had generations of momentum and are actually pretty damn complicated. 
But if you think the mass rejection of the war was as meaningless as a soufflé - well. 
Try sitting here for ten seconds and imagining where we’d be if the entire intellectual and artistic drive of the culture had been FOR the war. If everyone thought it was a GREAT IDEA. 
What the whole world would look like. 
Four-to-ten percent means that ninety to ninety-six percent of the time - more than nine times out of ten - CPR will do nothing, but that one time you’ll be in the company of someone worshipped as an incarnate god. 
If you think the artists and performers attacking and showing up people like Donald Trump is meaningless try imagining a version of the world wherein they weren’t there. 

(*if you’re curious: those stats count EVERY reported case of CPR, while the effectiveness of it is extremely time-related. With those who have had continuous CPR from the SECOND they went down, the number is actually above 80%. It drops hugely every 30 seconds from then on. When you count ALL cases you count cases where the person has already been down several minutes but a bystander still starts CPR, which affects the stats)

feathersescapism: Every time I see this quote I realize how poor even very smart people are at looking at the long game and at assessing th...