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Selfie, Dog, and Who: My dog looks like a middle-aged man who just took his first selfie.
Selfie, Dog, and Who: My dog looks like a middle-aged man who just took his first selfie.

My dog looks like a middle-aged man who just took his first selfie.

Friends, Gif, and Lazy: LUXURY TAX ALK PARK PLACE PAY $75.00 phan-is-sempiternal: mousathe14: gehayi: profeminist: Tampons are a聽鈥渓uxury item鈥 Once I worked as an intern in the state capital. One of the representatives I worked for was this middle-aged guy. And he hated the tampon and napkin machines in the women鈥檚 bathrooms. Hated them. He insisted that they weren鈥檛 necessary. I found out why after I鈥檇 been working there, oh, about a month. My period started suddenly, as it sometimes does, and I asked to excuse myself to go to the ladies鈥 room. He wanted to know why. I told him. He started ranting about how lazy women were. How we wasted time. How we were so careless and unhygenic, and that there was no call for that. He finished by telling me that I certainly was NOT going to the ladies鈥 room and that I was just going to sit there and work. He finished this off with a decisive nod, as if I鈥檇 just been told and there could be no possible argument. 鈥淚f I don鈥檛 go,鈥 I said in an overly patient tone,聽鈥渢he blood is going to soak through my pants, stain my new skirt that I just bought, and possibly get on this chair I鈥檓 sitting in. I need something to soak up the blood. That鈥檚 why I need to go to the bathroom.鈥 His face turned oatmeal-gray; an expression of pure horror spread across his face. He leaned forward and whispered,聽鈥淲ait, you mean that if you don鈥檛 go, you鈥檒l just keep on bleeding? I thought that women could turn it off any time that they wanted!鈥 I thought, 聽You have got to be kidding. Several horrified whispers later, I learned that he wasn鈥檛. He actually thought a) that women could shut down the menstrual cycle at will, b) that we essentially picked a week per month to spend more time in the bathroom, i.e. to goof off, and c) that napkins and tampons were sex toys paid for by Health and Human Services. I didn鈥檛 know the term then, but he believed that tampons were dildos. Which was why he and a good number of his friends considered them luxuries. And that鈥檚 how, at twenty, I had to give a talk on menstruation to a middle-aged married state representative who was one of my bosses. American politics, ladies and gentlemen. That鈥檚.., that鈥檚 insane. what the fuck did i just read
Friends, Gif, and Lazy: LUXURY
 TAX
 ALK
 PARK
 PLACE
 PAY $75.00
phan-is-sempiternal:

mousathe14:

gehayi:

profeminist:

Tampons are a聽鈥渓uxury item鈥

Once I worked as an intern in the state capital. One of the representatives I worked for was this middle-aged guy. And he hated the tampon and napkin machines in the women鈥檚 bathrooms. Hated them. He insisted that they weren鈥檛 necessary.
I found out why after I鈥檇 been working there, oh, about a month. My period started suddenly, as it sometimes does, and I asked to excuse myself to go to the ladies鈥 room. He wanted to know why. I told him.
He started ranting about how lazy women were. How we wasted time. How we were so careless and unhygenic, and that there was no call for that. He finished by telling me that I certainly was NOT going to the ladies鈥 room and that I was just going to sit there and work. He finished this off with a decisive nod, as if I鈥檇 just been told and there could be no possible argument.
鈥淚f I don鈥檛 go,鈥 I said in an overly patient tone,聽鈥渢he blood is going to soak through my pants, stain my new skirt that I just bought, and possibly get on this chair I鈥檓 sitting in. I need something to soak up the blood. That鈥檚 why I need to go to the bathroom.鈥
His face turned oatmeal-gray; an expression of pure horror spread across his face. He leaned forward and whispered,聽鈥淲ait, you mean that if you don鈥檛 go, you鈥檒l just keep on bleeding? I thought that women could turn it off any time that they wanted!鈥
I thought, 聽You have got to be kidding.
Several horrified whispers later, I learned that he wasn鈥檛. He actually thought a) that women could shut down the menstrual cycle at will, b) that we essentially picked a week per month to spend more time in the bathroom, i.e. to goof off, and c) that napkins and tampons were sex toys paid for by Health and Human Services. I didn鈥檛 know the term then, but he believed that tampons were dildos. Which was why he and a good number of his friends considered them luxuries.
And that鈥檚 how, at twenty, I had to give a talk on menstruation to a middle-aged married state representative who was one of my bosses. American politics, ladies and gentlemen.

That鈥檚.., that鈥檚 insane.

what the fuck did i just read

phan-is-sempiternal: mousathe14: gehayi: profeminist: Tampons are a聽鈥渓uxury item鈥 Once I worked as an intern in the state capital. One ...

Beautiful, Clothes, and Fire: A psychologist goes to Target and after visiting the make-up aisle, he decides to write this letter to his young daughter: Dear Little One, As I write this, I'm sitting in the makeup aisle of our local Target store. A friend recently texted me froma different makeup aisle and told me it felt like one of the most oppressive places in the world. I wanted to find out what he meant. Flat OOOKS HAN UR LAF And now that I'm sitting here, I'm beginning to agree with him. Words have power, and the words on display in this aisle have a deep power. Words and phrases like: Affordably gorgeous, Infallible, Flawless finish, Brilliant strength, Liquid power, Go nude, Age defying, Instant age rewind, Choose your dream, Nearly naked, and Natural beauty. When you have a daughter you start to realize she's just as strong as everyone else in the house-a force to be reckoned with, a soul on fire with the same life and gifts and passions as any man. But sitting in this store aisle, you also begin to realize most people won't see her that way. Theyll see her as a pretty face and a body to enjoy. And they'll tell her she has to look a certain way to have any worth or influence. But words do have power and maybe, just maybe, the words of a father can begin to compete with the words of the world. Maybe a father's words can deliver his daughter through this gauntlet of institutionalized shame and into a deep, unshakeable sense of her own worthiness and beauty. A father's words aren't different words, but they are words with a radically different meaning: BRILLIANT STRENGTH: May your strength be not in your fingernails but in your heat. May you discem in your center who you are, and then may you fearfully but tenaciously live it out in the world. CHOOSE YOUR DREAM: But not from a department store shelf. Find the still-quiet place within you. A real dream has been planted there. Discover what you want to do in the world. And when you have chosen, may you faithfully pursue it, with integrity and with hope. NAKED: The world wants you to take your clothes off. Please keep them on. But take your gloves off. Pull no punches. Say what is in your heart. Be vulnerable. Embrace risk. Love a world that barely knows what it means to love itself. Do so nakedly. Openly. With abandon. INFALLIBLE: May you be constantly, infallibly aware that infallibility doesn't exist. It's an illusion created by people interested in your wallet. If you choose to seek perfection, may it be in an infallible grace-for yourself, and for everyone around you. AGE DEFYING: Your skin will wrinkle and your youth will fade, but your soul is ageless. It will always know how to play and how to enjoy and how to revel in this one-chance life. May you always defiantly resist the aging of your spirit. FLAWLESS FINISH: Your finish has nothing to do with how your face looks today and everything to do with how your life looks on your last day. May your years be a preparation for that day. May you be aged by grace, may you grow in wisdom, and may your love become big enough to embrace all people. May your flawiess finish be a peaceful embrace of the end and the unknown that follows, and may it thus be a gift to everyone who cherishes you. Little One, you love everything pink and frilly and I wll surely understand if someday makeup is important to you. But I pray three words will remain more important to you-the last three words you say every night, when I ask the question: "Where are you the most beautiful?" Three words so bright no concealer can cover them. Where are you the most beautiful? On the inside. From my heart to yours, Daddy you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com lolzandtrollz: Psychologist Writes The Most Perfect Letter To His Daughter
Beautiful, Clothes, and Fire: A psychologist goes to Target and after visiting
 the make-up aisle, he decides to write
 this letter to his young daughter:
 Dear Little One,
 As I write this, I'm sitting in the makeup aisle of our local Target store.
 A friend recently texted me froma different makeup aisle and told me
 it felt like one of the most oppressive places in the world. I wanted to
 find out what he meant.
 Flat
 OOOKS
 HAN
 UR LAF
 And now that I'm sitting here, I'm beginning to agree with him. Words
 have power, and the words on display in this aisle have a deep
 power. Words and phrases like:
 Affordably gorgeous,
 Infallible,
 Flawless finish,
 Brilliant strength,
 Liquid power,
 Go nude,
 Age defying,
 Instant age rewind,
 Choose your dream,
 Nearly naked, and
 Natural beauty.
 When you have a daughter you start to realize she's just as strong as
 everyone else in the house-a force to be reckoned with, a soul on
 fire with the same life and gifts and passions as any man. But sitting
 in this store aisle, you also begin to realize most people won't see her
 that way. Theyll see her as a pretty face and a body to enjoy. And
 they'll tell her she has to look a certain way to have any worth or
 influence.
 But words do have power and maybe, just maybe, the words of a
 father can begin to compete with the words of the world. Maybe a
 father's words can deliver his daughter through this gauntlet of
 institutionalized shame and into a deep, unshakeable sense of her
 own worthiness and beauty.
 A father's words aren't different words, but they are words with a
 radically different meaning:
 BRILLIANT STRENGTH: May your strength be not in your fingernails
 but in your heat. May you discem in your center who you are, and
 then may you fearfully but tenaciously live it out in the world.
 CHOOSE YOUR DREAM: But not from a department store shelf. Find
 the still-quiet place within you. A real dream has been planted there.
 Discover what you want to do in the world. And when you have
 chosen, may you faithfully pursue it, with integrity and with hope.
 NAKED: The world wants you to take your clothes off. Please keep
 them on. But take your gloves off. Pull no punches. Say what is in
 your heart. Be vulnerable. Embrace risk. Love a world that barely
 knows what it means to love itself. Do so nakedly. Openly. With
 abandon.
 INFALLIBLE: May you be constantly, infallibly aware that infallibility
 doesn't exist. It's an illusion created by people interested in your
 wallet. If you choose to seek perfection, may it be in an infallible
 grace-for yourself, and for everyone around you.
 AGE DEFYING: Your skin will wrinkle and your youth will fade, but
 your soul is ageless. It will always know how to play and how to enjoy
 and how to revel in this one-chance life. May you always defiantly
 resist the aging of your spirit.
 FLAWLESS FINISH: Your finish has nothing to do with how your face
 looks today and everything to do with how your life looks on your last
 day. May your years be a preparation for that day. May you be aged
 by grace, may you grow in wisdom, and may your love become big
 enough to embrace all people. May your flawiess finish be a peaceful
 embrace of the end and the unknown that follows, and may it thus be
 a gift to everyone who cherishes you.
 Little One, you love everything pink and frilly and I wll surely
 understand if someday makeup is important to you. But I pray three
 words will remain more important to you-the last three words you
 say every night, when I ask the question: "Where are you the most
 beautiful?" Three words so bright no concealer can cover them.
 Where are you the most beautiful?
 On the inside.
 From my heart to yours,
 Daddy
 you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com
lolzandtrollz:

Psychologist Writes The Most Perfect Letter To His Daughter

lolzandtrollz: Psychologist Writes The Most Perfect Letter To His Daughter

Dress, Kid Rock, and Rock: Kid Rock now looks like a middle aged accountant who likes to dress up as Kid Rock
Dress, Kid Rock, and Rock: Kid Rock now looks like a middle aged accountant who likes to dress up as Kid Rock

Kid Rock now looks like a middle aged accountant who likes to dress up as Kid Rock

Advice, Bodies , and Drinking: 5 hours ago Hello! My husband is repulsed by my aged urine rubs. He hates every single hing about it. Even with the essential oils, he says he still smells it all over me- even to the point he doesnt want to touch me. Should I compromise by only drinking it and using it up the nose ears ect. I have literally tried everything to get rid of the smell. he even says the jars look like dead waste. please i need some help here I will give you the same advice I gave who is now a member of this group to0,when his husband was complaining about AU. Leave him. There are other fish in the sea, and had he never left we wouldve never began our journey together United by AU. Aged urine rubs with a partner are electrifying spiritually DO 33 4h Like Reply bogleech: bogleech: I have to agree with the response, if you truly can鈥檛 bear life without lathering yourself up in your own rotting piss juice because you think it鈥檚 magic, you should probably do the right thing and spare your loved ones from yourself. Oh no, you mean some of you still didn鈥檛 know that FERMENTED HUMAN PISS is the latest homeopathic health craze??? They drink it, they bathe in it, they buy and trade it, they think it鈥檒l cure cancer and de-age them and boost their immunity and anything else they feel like making up.Mark my words, eating shit is probably next. The funniest part is these are the same people obsessed with 鈥渄etoxifying鈥 their bodies. What the fuck do they think piss IS. they totally have a fetish鈥
Advice, Bodies , and Drinking: 5 hours ago
 Hello! My husband is repulsed by my aged
 urine rubs. He hates every single hing about it.
 Even with the essential oils, he says he still
 smells it all over me- even to the point he
 doesnt want to touch me. Should I compromise
 by only drinking it and using it up the nose ears
 ect. I have literally tried everything to get rid of
 the smell. he even says the jars look like dead
 waste. please i need some help here

 I will give you the same advice I gave
 who is now a member of
 this group to0,when his husband was
 complaining about AU. Leave him.
 There are other fish in the sea, and
 had he never left we wouldve never
 began our journey together United by
 AU. Aged urine rubs with a partner
 are electrifying spiritually
 DO
 33
 4h Like Reply
bogleech:

bogleech:
I have to agree with the response, if you truly can鈥檛 bear life without lathering yourself up in your own rotting piss juice because you think it鈥檚 magic, you should probably do the right thing and spare your loved ones from yourself.
Oh no, you mean some of you still didn鈥檛 know that FERMENTED HUMAN PISS is the latest homeopathic health craze??? They drink it, they bathe in it, they buy and trade it, they think it鈥檒l cure cancer and de-age them and boost their immunity and anything else they feel like making up.Mark my words, eating shit is probably next.
The funniest part is these are the same people obsessed with 鈥渄etoxifying鈥 their bodies. What the fuck do they think piss IS.

they totally have a fetish鈥

bogleech: bogleech: I have to agree with the response, if you truly can鈥檛 bear life without lathering yourself up in your own rotting piss ...

Beautiful, Cats, and Crying: northeastartist: cryoverkiltmilk: kindaoffkilter: bemusedlybespectacled: linkislost: sighinastorm: tooiconic: lafayettelabaguette: beasti: clarenecessities: sapphic-matriarchy: system-fail-ure: karinanotcinerina: retro-geek: ultrafacts: gatochick: ultrafacts: pizzaismylifepizzaisking: majikkant: ultrafacts: Source Video of Tama Follow Ultrafacts for more facts The picture in the background of the second one Tama is boss THE TRAINS HAVE CARTOON TAMAS ON THEM Sad update everyone, Tama recently passed away鈥 An estimated 3,000 people, including railway officials, attended Tama the cat鈥檚 funeral on Sunday, days after she died of heart failure aged 16. [x] For those who haven鈥檛 read articles about it, the local shrine elevated her to a god. She鈥檚 now the Eternal Stationmaster and patron god of the station. Beautiful. Now I鈥檓 crying thanks and a new cat was hired right? yep! her name is Nitama (essentially 鈥漵econd tama鈥 or 鈥渢ama II鈥) and she served under Tama as an apprentice before being appointed her deputy she works very hard Everytime this crosses my dash, I reblog. It is the law. Law I鈥檓 crying at 11pm over train cats Nitama, already now a mature cat (born 2010), has a protege named Yontama (fourth Tama, b. 2016).聽 There is no information available for either the physical befellment or tragic self-disgrace which has removed Santama from contention. ^Nitama majestic, and below with Yontama Yontama. a legacy okay but actually what happened to santama (or sun-tama-tama, which is her name because it鈥檚 a pun on santama) was that she was basically sent to train for the position in okayama and they liked her so much they refused to send her back 鈥淪un-tama-tama鈥 (a pun off of 鈥淪antama鈥, lit. 鈥渢hird Tama鈥) was a calico cat sent for training in Okayama. Sun-tama-tama was considered as a candidate for Tama鈥檚 successor, but the Okayama Public Relations representative who had been caring for Sun-tama-tama refused to give the cat up writing, 鈥淚 will not let go of this child, she will stay in Okayama.鈥 [25] As of September 2018, Sun-tama-tama is working as the stationmaster in Naka-ku, Okayama and appears occasionally on Tama鈥檚 Twitter account. Every time I see this post there鈥檚 new info and it gets better You are only allowed to scroll pass this after you pay tribute to the great Tama Station masters.
Beautiful, Cats, and Crying: northeastartist:
cryoverkiltmilk:

kindaoffkilter:

bemusedlybespectacled:

linkislost:

sighinastorm:

tooiconic:

lafayettelabaguette:

beasti:

clarenecessities:

sapphic-matriarchy:

system-fail-ure:

karinanotcinerina:

retro-geek:

ultrafacts:

gatochick:

ultrafacts:

pizzaismylifepizzaisking:

majikkant:

ultrafacts:

Source
Video of Tama

Follow Ultrafacts for more facts

The picture in the background of the second one

Tama is boss



THE TRAINS HAVE CARTOON TAMAS ON THEM

Sad update everyone, Tama recently passed away鈥 An estimated 3,000 people, including railway officials, attended Tama the cat鈥檚 funeral on Sunday, days after she died of heart failure aged 16. [x]

For those who haven鈥檛 read articles about it, the local shrine elevated her to a god.  She鈥檚 now the Eternal Stationmaster and patron god of the station.


Beautiful.


Now I鈥檓 crying thanks

and a new cat was hired right?

yep! her name is Nitama (essentially 鈥漵econd tama鈥 or 鈥渢ama II鈥) and she served under Tama as an apprentice before being appointed her deputy
she works very hard


Everytime this crosses my dash, I reblog. It is the law.


Law


I鈥檓 crying at 11pm over train cats

Nitama, already now a mature cat (born 2010), has a protege named Yontama (fourth Tama, b. 2016).聽 There is no information available for either the physical befellment or tragic self-disgrace which has removed Santama from contention.
^Nitama majestic, and below with Yontama
Yontama.


a legacy 

okay but actually what happened to santama (or sun-tama-tama, which is her name because it鈥檚 a pun on santama) was that she was basically sent to train for the position in okayama and they liked her so much they refused to send her back


鈥淪un-tama-tama鈥 (a pun off of 鈥淪antama鈥, lit. 鈥渢hird Tama鈥) was a calico cat sent for training in Okayama. Sun-tama-tama was considered as a candidate for Tama鈥檚 successor, but the Okayama Public Relations representative who had been caring for Sun-tama-tama refused to give the cat up writing, 鈥淚 will not let go of this child, she will stay in Okayama.鈥 [25]
As of September 2018, Sun-tama-tama is working as the stationmaster in Naka-ku, Okayama and appears occasionally on Tama鈥檚 Twitter account.


Every time I see this post there鈥檚 new info and it gets better


You are only allowed to scroll pass this after you pay tribute to the great Tama Station masters.

northeastartist: cryoverkiltmilk: kindaoffkilter: bemusedlybespectacled: linkislost: sighinastorm: tooiconic: lafayettelabaguette: be...

Ass, Cinderella , and Click: kaylapocalypse: 聽ok聽 so i know what you鈥檙e thinking聽鈥渙h i remember that scene i don鈥檛 need to click on the video to recall it鈥. But you should. Like鈥 if you鈥檙e anywhere near your mid-twenties, chances are that you watched shrek聽(1) when you were a kid and maybe a few times again in your late teens, but your memory absolutely doesn鈥檛 do it justice. The comedic timing through this whole movie is insane. Also, the fact that the animation style is aging literally just adds to the hilarity instead of poorly dating it. The nuance of every gesture is so well done and specific.聽 I am literally convinced that this movie is a masterpiece and that will be historically relevant maybe 100 years from now as a perfect time capsule of our culture. This scene in particular illustrates it especially well; particularly for being only聽like 1 minute long. Highlights/Breakdown The timing in the way Robin says savior and the way he says beast.聽 the character solidifying disregard and disrespect of 鈥淧lease! Monster!鈥 Fiona鈥檚 sheer brute strength when she pokes him in the shoulder so hard it spins him around鈥搒trength that he disregards which is why hes surprised聽as hell when he gets his ass beat Just the entire french accent that isn鈥檛 even a good french accent at all. The accordion man in the tree, the prop bushes. that one of the prop bushes falls down to reveal that its a wood cut-out subtly in the background聽 Shrek and fiona watching with horror as he begins his song. Donkey never cracking his excited smile, fully immersed in the Lore鈩; which is actually part of a longer running joke through the film which is that occasionally when certain characters do things would be reacted to poorly irl, the surrounding characters react like you would if you saw that irl聽not like characters in a story. Like instead of getting drawn into the lore of their circumstances they just stand there, staring like聽鈥測ikesssss鈥 shrek鈥檚 exhaustion and impatience when the song goes into the聽鈥渟aucy little maid鈥 bit.聽 鈥渨hat hes basically saying is he likes to get paid.鈥澛 the chaos of that statement. combined with shrek and fiona having a eye contact conversation above the performance, exchanging聽鈥渨tf鈥 gestures.聽 When the song escalates into a dance fight, Shrek鈥檚 exhaustion turns into general mounting amusement like聽鈥渨ow is this really turning into a dance fight. wow hes really snapping in unison鈥 which is additionally apart of the above long running聽joke Fiona interrupting robin with a kick. the fuckin sound his head makes when it hits the rock.聽 The fight after isn鈥檛 as dynamic timing wise, just a classic animated fight scene but that song though. *kisses fingers like a chef* Watching this does give me an appreciation for 2D animation though because say what you will but Cinderella has aged a lot better than Shrek in terms of visual quality.With 2D you get fairly consistent quality. With old 3D you get uncanny valley nightmares.
Ass, Cinderella , and Click: kaylapocalypse:
聽ok聽
so i know what you鈥檙e thinking聽鈥渙h i remember that scene i don鈥檛 need to click on the video to recall it鈥. But you should. Like鈥 if you鈥檙e anywhere near your mid-twenties, chances are that you watched shrek聽(1) when you were a kid and maybe a few times again in your late teens, but your memory absolutely doesn鈥檛 do it justice.
The comedic timing through this whole movie is insane. Also, the fact that the animation style is aging literally just adds to the hilarity instead of poorly dating it. The nuance of every gesture is so well done and specific.聽
I am literally convinced that this movie is a masterpiece and that will be historically relevant maybe 100 years from now as a perfect time capsule of our culture.
This scene in particular illustrates it especially well; particularly for being only聽like 1 minute long.
Highlights/Breakdown
The timing in the way Robin says savior and the way he says beast.聽
the character solidifying disregard and disrespect of 鈥淧lease! Monster!鈥
Fiona鈥檚 sheer brute strength when she pokes him in the shoulder so hard it spins him around鈥搒trength that he disregards which is why hes surprised聽as hell when he gets his ass beat
Just the entire french accent that isn鈥檛 even a good french accent at all.
The accordion man in the tree, the prop bushes. that one of the prop bushes falls down to reveal that its a wood cut-out subtly in the background聽
Shrek and fiona watching with horror as he begins his song. Donkey never cracking his excited smile, fully immersed in the Lore鈩; which is actually part of a longer running joke through the film which is that occasionally when certain characters do things would be reacted to poorly irl, the surrounding characters react like you would if you saw that irl聽not like characters in a story. Like instead of getting drawn into the lore of their circumstances they just stand there, staring like聽鈥測ikesssss鈥
shrek鈥檚 exhaustion and impatience when the song goes into the聽鈥渟aucy little maid鈥 bit.聽
鈥渨hat hes basically saying is he likes to get paid.鈥澛 the chaos of that statement. combined with shrek and fiona having a eye contact conversation above the performance, exchanging聽鈥渨tf鈥 gestures.聽
When the song escalates into a dance fight, Shrek鈥檚 exhaustion turns into general mounting amusement like聽鈥渨ow is this really turning into a dance fight. wow hes really snapping in unison鈥 which is additionally apart of the above long running聽joke
Fiona interrupting robin with a kick.
the fuckin sound his head makes when it hits the rock.聽
The fight after isn鈥檛 as dynamic timing wise, just a classic animated fight scene but that song though. *kisses fingers like a chef*
Watching this does give me an appreciation for 2D animation though because say what you will but Cinderella has aged a lot better than Shrek in terms of visual quality.With 2D you get fairly consistent quality. With old 3D you get uncanny valley nightmares.

kaylapocalypse: 聽ok聽 so i know what you鈥檙e thinking聽鈥渙h i remember that scene i don鈥檛 need to click on the video to recall it鈥. But you shou...