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Being Alone, America, and Click: Jason Fuller, Contributor Working to bring about the best in America, both on-line and off. Impeachment Is No Longer Enough; Donald Trump Must Face Justice Impeachment and removal from office are only the first steps; for treason and-if convicted in a court of law-executed. 06/11/2017 10:39 pm ET for America to be redeemed, Donald Trump must be prosecuted Donald Trump has been President of the United States for just shy of six months now. I think that most of us among the electorate knew that his presidency would be a relative disaster, but I am not sure how many among us expected the catastrophe our nation now faces. friendly-neighborhood-patriarch: hominishostilis: abstractandedgyname: siryouarebeingmocked: mississpithy: bogleech: notyourmoderate: angrybell: thinksquad: http://archive.is/5VvI5 Huffpo, everybody. Can someone tell me what high crime or misdemeanor Trump has committed that merits this? Or is the HuffPo just publishing outright fantasies? God dammit, I’m now in the position of defending Huffington. I didn’t want to be here. Okay, @angrybell … actually, @ literally everyone who reblogged this uncritically as a tacit endorsement and agreement. Such as @the-critical-feminist that I reblog this from.My first question has to be: are you serious? Don’t read that with a tone, don’t read that as an attack. That’s my first question: Are you asking a serious question about what high crimes or misdemeanors Trump has perpetrated? Are you asking a sincere question or is this the sort of rhetoric that doesn’t translate well into text? And, if you are actually asking this question, are ou going to hear the answer or are you going to immediately start concocting your counter-argument because you just know in your heart that anyone who disagrees with you must be wrong, so you start formulating a plan to prove them wrong before you actually hear what they have to say?Next: did you read the article that was posted in the link you responded to? Because the author of that article does a reasonable job of explaining their thought process behind the headline. Or did you lash out before you read the article? Okay, presuming that you did read the article in good faith, evaluate its points, perform the follow-up research to understand context, and still disagree with the central tenets and simply believe that the author’s reasoning does not hold up for whatever reasons you have chosen not to state, and you believe their source information is falsified for whatever reason you have chosen not to state, I will move on. After I have given you and yours every conceivable benefit of the doubt and every charitable assumption. Because if the article itself doesn’t convince you, there’s the fact that Donald Trump has broken literally every federal law against corruption and conflict of interest. Not one or two, not most, not all but a few. Literally every single law we have against corruption, from the Constitution to the informal guidelines circulated as a memo from the White House ethics scholars. He’s broken literally every one of those rules. He’s openly traded favors for money and favors for months now. Hell, that Chinese influence-peddler that paid him off for sixteen million dollars should have been enough to get him convicted of treason. Sharing code-word level classified information with a government on the opposite side of an ongoing military conflict isn’t *necessarily* treason, unless the information was part of a share program with an allied nation and wasn’t his to distribute. That’s aiding a foreign aggressor at the expense of a military ally, and that’s treason. Giving aid and comfort to enemies of the nation. Obstruction of justice is pretty clear-cut, that’s an impeachment, except that the justice in question is also a matter of national security, so that’s treason. Again. Defaming the former president? Misdemeanor, impeachable. The way he drags his heels nominating posts in Justice and State could be prosecuted as dereliction of duty. If he has tapes of Comey, he’s on the hook for contempt, if he doesn’t then he’s on the hook for witness tampering. Hell, deleting the covfefe tweet is destroying federal records, which is a misdemeanor, and impeachable. The man doesn’t go a week without bringing on an impeachable offense. Strictly speaking, every time he goes to Mar-A-Lago he’s committing grand larceny by fraud, because he’s taking millions of dollars of American funds for his own benefit, after promising not to do that. There are dozens, hundreds maybe, of impeachable offenses already in this 140 days, “high crimes and misdemeanors”. Actual counts of treason, punishable by death by hanging, is probably only five or six counts. Only five or six counts of high treason by our sitting president. His job does not put him above reproach. His job is to *be* above reproach. And he’s failing that job. Trump’s supporters probably believe he’s done nothing impeachable or treasonous because they spent eight years claiming on no grounds whatsoever that Obama was impeachable and treasonous, just because they didn’t like him. They now probably convince themselves that these facts about Trump are as fake as their Obama theories and they’ve ruined the gravity of these terms for themselves. “ His job does not put him above reproach. His job is to *be* above reproach. And he’s failing that job. “ I like how Bogleech doesn’t know many Trump supporters are former Obama supporters. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/04/us/obama-trump-swing-voters.html https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2018/10/16/17980820/trump-obama-2016-race-racism-class-economy-2018-midterm https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obama-Trump_voters It’s not even a secret. But why am I not surprised bogleech - that intellectual titan - failed to do basic research? And last time I checked, no nation required their politicans to be perfect. Which is what NYM is asking for with that quote; perfection. That’s what ‘above reproach’ means. An impossible standard, considering people “reproach” Trump for feeding fish wrong, for his skin color, for any and every little thing, even if they have to twist reality into a pretzel to do it. In fact, I’ve seen people take pictures of kids in cages from 2014, and blame Trump for it. So this: Are you asking a serious question about what high crimes or misdemeanors Trump has perpetrated? Is a question of this: Can someone tell me what high crime or misdemeanor Trump has committed that merits this? Seems you missed the part that says “merits this”. Next: did you read the article that was posted in the link you responded to? Because the author of that article does a reasonable job of explaining their thought process behind the headline. Or did you lash out before you read the article? (The underlined is in the subtitle, not the headline.) Okay, presuming that you did read the article in good faith, evaluate its points, perform the follow-up research to understand context, and still disagree with the central tenets… Context? Central tenets? Do you not know how highlighting works? You don’t need to know the context, or any other point, when you’re indicating a specific, explicit, and isolated quality. The subtitle called for Trump’s execution, we’re 5 paragraphs in and you haven’t even acknowledged that part yet. Or at all, I’m guessing, because I’m not reading further. You keep talking around it. You accuse others, preemptively, of not hearing the answer and pre-”concocting” a response, and yet you’re waffling on about shit around the one, sole, isolated thing that was indicated in the first place. This isn’t about ignoring context, this is about criticising one thing. Which is a thing people are allowed to do, by the way, just because people criticise one thing, doesn’t mean they’re criticising everything about the everyone involved, and everything said before, adjacent to, and after that one thing, and therefore are required to include all of those things in their consideration and assessment of this one thing. The specific criticism of the indicated quality is the advocation of Trump’s execution. That’s it. No context is needed to understand that this is what was said, especially since that which was said, which is being criticised, is explicit. No amount of, “So, click-bait subtitle that you don’t see until you’ve already clicked on the article link out of the way, here’s what I actually meant when I said I wanted this person tried and executed,” could excuse the use of that language, let alone actually believing in it. It’s like… it’s like if someone makes a typo, someone else is like, “Oh, seems you made a typo,” you’d jump in like, “But what about they’re perfectly reasonable spelling everywhere else? Hm? Forced to ignore contextual perfect spelling I see. They’re lack of typos everywhere else explains this typo, and vindicates it”. You and what’s his face, James, fuckin ReasonAndEmpathy or whatever now, y’all keep saying “but what of the context?” when the criterion of criticism is isolated, atomic, specific, and/or explicit. No amount of context invalidates the very specific, singular words explicitly spoken. “Sure he called for Trump to be executed, but he explains himself.” Fucking and? When did the death sentence become ok? When did that happen? Moderates are ok with the death sentence now? Aight, weird. Man this fucking post aged like fine wine, take a SIP Delicious This was quite a ride
Being Alone, America, and Click: Jason Fuller, Contributor
 Working to bring about the best in America, both on-line and off.
 Impeachment Is No Longer Enough;
 Donald Trump Must Face Justice
 Impeachment and removal from office are only the first steps;
 for treason and-if convicted in a court of law-executed.
 06/11/2017 10:39 pm ET
 for America to be redeemed, Donald Trump must be prosecuted
 Donald Trump has been President of the United States for just shy of six months now. I
 think that most of us among the electorate knew that his presidency would be a relative
 disaster, but I am not sure how many among us expected the catastrophe our nation now
 faces.
friendly-neighborhood-patriarch:

hominishostilis:

abstractandedgyname:
siryouarebeingmocked:

mississpithy:

bogleech:

notyourmoderate:

angrybell:

thinksquad:


http://archive.is/5VvI5


Huffpo, everybody. 




Can someone tell me what high crime or misdemeanor Trump has committed that merits this? Or is the HuffPo just publishing outright fantasies?

God dammit, I’m now in the position of defending Huffington. I didn’t want to be here. Okay, @angrybell … actually, @ literally everyone who reblogged this uncritically as a tacit endorsement and agreement. Such as @the-critical-feminist that I reblog this from.My first question has to be: are you serious? Don’t read that with a tone, don’t read that as an attack. That’s my first question: Are you asking a serious question about what high crimes or misdemeanors Trump has perpetrated? Are you asking a sincere question or is this the sort of rhetoric that doesn’t translate well into text? And, if you are actually asking this question, are ou going to hear the answer or are you going to immediately start concocting your counter-argument because you just know in your heart that anyone who disagrees with you must be wrong, so you start formulating a plan to prove them wrong before you actually hear what they have to say?Next: did you read the article that was posted in the link you responded to? Because the author of that article does a reasonable job of explaining their thought process behind the headline. Or did you lash out before you read the article? Okay, presuming that you did read the article in good faith, evaluate its points, perform the follow-up research to understand context, and still disagree with the central tenets and simply believe that the author’s reasoning does not hold up for whatever reasons you have chosen not to state, and you believe their source information is falsified for whatever reason you have chosen not to state, I will move on. After I have given you and yours every conceivable benefit of the doubt and every charitable assumption. Because if the article itself doesn’t convince you, there’s the fact that Donald Trump has broken literally every federal law against corruption and conflict of interest. Not one or two, not most, not all but a few. Literally every single law we have against corruption, from the Constitution to the informal guidelines circulated as a memo from the White House ethics scholars. He’s broken literally every one of those rules. He’s openly traded favors for money and favors for months now. Hell, that Chinese influence-peddler that paid him off for sixteen million dollars should have been enough to get him convicted of treason. Sharing code-word level classified information with a government on the opposite side of an ongoing military conflict isn’t *necessarily* treason, unless the information was part of a share program with an allied nation and wasn’t his to distribute. That’s aiding a foreign aggressor at the expense of a military ally, and that’s treason. Giving aid and comfort to enemies of the nation. Obstruction of justice is pretty clear-cut, that’s an impeachment, except that the justice in question is also a matter of national security, so that’s treason. Again. Defaming the former president? Misdemeanor, impeachable. The way he drags his heels nominating posts in Justice and State could be prosecuted as dereliction of duty. If he has tapes of Comey, he’s on the hook for contempt, if he doesn’t then he’s on the hook for witness tampering. Hell, deleting the covfefe tweet is destroying federal records, which is a misdemeanor, and impeachable. The man doesn’t go a week without bringing on an impeachable offense. Strictly speaking, every time he goes to Mar-A-Lago he’s committing grand larceny by fraud, because he’s taking millions of dollars of American funds for his own benefit, after promising not to do that. There are dozens, hundreds maybe, of impeachable offenses already in this 140 days, “high crimes and misdemeanors”. Actual counts of treason, punishable by death by hanging, is probably only five or six counts. Only five or six counts of high treason by our sitting president. His job does not put him above reproach. His job is to *be* above reproach. And he’s failing that job. 

Trump’s supporters probably believe he’s done nothing impeachable or treasonous because they spent eight years claiming on no grounds whatsoever that Obama was impeachable and treasonous, just because they didn’t like him. They now probably convince themselves that these facts about Trump are as fake as their Obama theories and they’ve ruined the gravity of these terms for themselves.





“

His job does not put him above reproach. His job is to *be* above reproach. And he’s failing that job.


“






I like how Bogleech doesn’t know many Trump supporters are former Obama supporters.
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/04/us/obama-trump-swing-voters.html
https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2018/10/16/17980820/trump-obama-2016-race-racism-class-economy-2018-midterm
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obama-Trump_voters
It’s not even a secret. But why am I not surprised bogleech - that intellectual titan - failed to do basic research?
And last time I checked, no nation required their politicans to be perfect. Which is what NYM is asking for with that quote; perfection. That’s what ‘above reproach’ means. An impossible standard, considering people “reproach” Trump for feeding fish wrong, for his skin color, for any and every little thing, even if they have to twist reality into a pretzel to do it. In fact, I’ve seen people take pictures of kids in cages from 2014, and blame Trump for it.

So this:


Are you asking a serious question about what high crimes or misdemeanors Trump has perpetrated?


Is a question of this:


Can someone tell me what high crime or misdemeanor Trump has committed that merits this?


Seems you missed the part that says “merits this”.


Next: did you read the article that was posted in the link you responded to? Because the author of that article does a reasonable job of explaining their thought process behind the headline. Or did you lash out before you read the article? 


(The underlined is in the subtitle, not the headline.)


Okay, presuming that you did read the article in good faith, evaluate its points, perform the follow-up research to understand context, and still disagree with the central tenets…
Context? Central tenets? Do you not know how highlighting works? You don’t need to know the context, or any other point, when you’re indicating a specific, explicit, and isolated quality.
The subtitle called for Trump’s execution, we’re 5 paragraphs in and you haven’t even acknowledged that part yet. Or at all, I’m guessing, because I’m not reading further. You keep talking around it. You accuse others, preemptively, of not hearing the answer and pre-”concocting” a response, and yet you’re waffling on about shit around the one, sole, isolated thing that was indicated in the first place.
This isn’t about ignoring context, this is about criticising one thing. Which is a thing people are allowed to do, by the way, just because people criticise one thing, doesn’t mean they’re criticising everything about the everyone involved, and everything said before, adjacent to, and after that one thing, and therefore are required to include all of those things in their consideration and assessment of this one thing.
The specific criticism of the indicated quality is the advocation of Trump’s execution. That’s it. No context is needed to understand that this is what was said, especially since that which was said, which is being criticised, is explicit. No amount of, “So, click-bait subtitle that you don’t see until you’ve already clicked on the article link out of the way, here’s what I actually meant when I said I wanted this person tried and executed,” could excuse the use of that language, let alone actually believing in it.
It’s like… it’s like if someone makes a typo, someone else is like, “Oh, seems you made a typo,” you’d jump in like, “But what about they’re perfectly reasonable spelling everywhere else? Hm? Forced to ignore contextual perfect spelling I see. They’re lack of typos everywhere else explains this typo, and vindicates it”.
You and what’s his face, James, fuckin ReasonAndEmpathy or whatever now, y’all keep saying “but what of the context?” when the criterion of criticism is isolated, atomic, specific, and/or explicit. No amount of context invalidates the very specific, singular words explicitly spoken. “Sure he called for Trump to be executed, but he explains himself.” Fucking and? When did the death sentence become ok? When did that happen? Moderates are ok with the death sentence now? Aight, weird.


Man this fucking post aged like fine wine, take a SIP 

Delicious

This was quite a ride

friendly-neighborhood-patriarch: hominishostilis: abstractandedgyname: siryouarebeingmocked: mississpithy: bogleech: notyourmoderate: ...

Being Alone, Boner, and Do a Barrel Roll: People Can't Handle The Way Morrissey Describes A Boner In His Novel A bulbous salutation to you all. posted on Sept. 24, 2015, at 9:52 a.m Alan White BuzzFeed News Reporter, UK So, during a sex scene in Morrissey's recently published novel List of the Lost, this happens. Eliza's breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra's howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza's body except for the otherwise central zone." 03 thebibliosphere: doebarnes: mugsandpugs: jottingprosaist: shredsandpatches: hedwig-dordt: naznomad: martingoresangst: Thats the weirdest erotic sentence i’ve read all month this fucking post singlehandedly ruined my life You don’t really appreciate how fucking great fan fic is when it comes to writing sex untill you stop to recognise how Serious Literary Stars fail at writing sex. DO A BARREL ROLL #in all my years of reading fic i have never encountered a sentence this terrible #did he just say that his dick smacked EVERY MUSCLE in her body except you know her vagina? #like I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CHEEK I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE SHOULDER I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CALF #what is your dick doing?? #how do you think sex works morrissey?? Forget what his dick is doing, what are her breasts doing? How do a pair of fat sacks attached to a ribcage barrel-roll anywhere? Let alone across a man’s mouth and then his wanger immediately after? Sir, why is your mouth so dong-adjacent? Is your weiner detachable, is that it? Do you have your joystick clutched in your hand so that you can score a sweet schlong-to-titty-roll immediately after a kiss and then proceed to beat your banana all over her body in the world’s most failed attempt at erotic massage??? HOW DO YOU THINK SEX WORKS??? … guys ….. Are the sex scenes in My Immortal better than this?“HE PUT HIS THINGY IN MY YOU-KNOW-WHAT AND WE HAD SEX.” … I mean. Comparatively… Like, in My Immortal, it’s at least implied he knows where he’s supposed to put it. It’s very simplistic, Ikea-style sex (insert tab A into slot B) but that’s better than this vague, useless composition of random, nonsensical placement and movement of body parts. So yes, the sex in My Immortal is, in this sense, better. @goddessemily   was it this post?
Being Alone, Boner, and Do a Barrel Roll: People Can't Handle The
 Way Morrissey Describes A
 Boner In His Novel
 A bulbous salutation to you all.
 posted on Sept. 24, 2015, at 9:52 a.m
 Alan White
 BuzzFeed News Reporter, UK
 So, during a sex scene in Morrissey's
 recently published novel List of the
 Lost, this happens.
 Eliza's breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra's
 howling mouth and the pained frenzy of
 his bulbous salutation extenuating his
 excitement as it smacked its way into
 every muscle of Eliza's body except for
 the otherwise central zone."
 03
thebibliosphere:

doebarnes:

mugsandpugs:

jottingprosaist:

shredsandpatches:

hedwig-dordt:

naznomad:

martingoresangst:

Thats the weirdest erotic sentence i’ve read all month

this fucking post singlehandedly ruined my life

You don’t really appreciate how fucking great fan fic is when it comes to writing sex untill you stop to recognise how Serious Literary Stars fail at writing sex.

DO A BARREL ROLL



#in all my years of reading fic i have never encountered a sentence this terrible #did he just say that his dick smacked EVERY MUSCLE in her body except you know her vagina? #like I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CHEEK I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE SHOULDER I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CALF #what is your dick doing?? #how do you think sex works morrissey??


Forget what his dick is doing, what are her breasts doing? How do a pair of fat sacks attached to a ribcage barrel-roll anywhere? Let alone across a man’s mouth and then his wanger immediately after? Sir, why is your mouth so dong-adjacent? Is your weiner detachable, is that it? Do you have your joystick clutched in your hand so that you can score a sweet schlong-to-titty-roll immediately after a kiss and then proceed to beat your banana all over her body in the world’s most failed attempt at erotic massage??? HOW DO YOU THINK SEX WORKS???

… guys
….. Are the sex scenes in My Immortal better than this?“HE PUT HIS THINGY IN MY YOU-KNOW-WHAT AND WE HAD SEX.”
… I mean. Comparatively…

Like, in My Immortal, it’s at least implied he knows where he’s supposed to put it. It’s very simplistic, Ikea-style sex (insert tab A into slot B) but that’s better than this vague, useless composition of random, nonsensical placement and movement of body parts.

So yes, the sex in My Immortal is, in this sense, better.


@goddessemily   was it this post?

thebibliosphere: doebarnes: mugsandpugs: jottingprosaist: shredsandpatches: hedwig-dordt: naznomad: martingoresangst: Thats the weir...

Amazon, Bad, and Bad Boys: ALEX DE CAMP RO STEIN TED B RANDT DE E CUNNIF FE THANKS FOR COMING ALONG, FRANK. IT MEANS S'FINE, BARNES. IM NOT EXACTW OVERBURDEN印 WITH HOLIDA COMMITMENTS ン) AND I'M TRIUWN, DEEPLY SOR2N FOR EVERY THING THAT'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN HAPPY^ HANUKKAH! HENRY! HERE, AND A FRIEND! GET IN S IT A FRIEND FRIEND, OR JUST A FRIEND? FREEINGUES BROUGHT OUT! HOW'S STEVE? WHAT THE...? HES BUS DOING CHARITY aALAS THIS TIME OF YEAR. DIDNT REALY ASK, WHN DON'T YOu BECAUSE GO TO FANCN GALAS? |Y WHEN I SHOW UP Nou'D Look aREAT /T ONE, PEOPLE JOSH. You ARE.? IN A TuX FUSED. ASSUME SOMEONE'S GONNA DIE THAT'S NONSENSE! IT'S BEEN AGES SINCE NOuVE KIuE ANNONE. THOUGHT HE WAS RISH CATHOUC ITS BEEN FOUR VAYS MY DAD WAS CATHOuc. MY MA WAS JENISH. SISTER BECCA MARRIEN A JEWISH GUN. I'M JEWISH- ADJACENT YOu'RE A JEW! THEN HAD LEAH. SHES THE Ow LADN IN THE KITCHEN D WHO'S GONNA FEED You LATKEs uNTIレ NOU EXPLODE. HENIRN! STOP IT! SPEAKING OF LEAH, SuE HAS AU SORTS OF FAMI STORIES ABOuT BuCKN AS A KID I SPEAK HEBREN BECAUSE EVIL SCIENCE NAZIS IMPLANTEN IT IN MN BZAIN, ALONG WITH 18 OTHER ANGUAGES. HIM DECIDE urs FOR HIMSELF. THERE TO DECIDE? HIS MOM WAS JEWISH, HE SPEAKS HEBREW HE'S A JEW. NO FAIR! ARE THERE PHOTOS? HAVE To Go To STUPIDEBREW SCHCOレ. CAN I GET EVIL SCIENCE NAZIS TO No FINE Look, Kiv. WE DONT GET MANN WERE KEEPING SUPERHEROS.A NOu, AND TO HEL CMON THERE ARE WHOLE ALBUMS. WITH THE FINE PRINT I'M NOT A HERO BulL SURVIVED. EVERYTHING NOu SURVIvEv, AND NOURE STIU A GOOD PERSON LIGHT aO OUT, EVEN WHEN AL WAS DARKENEN WHEN AND TERRIBLE AROUND NOu. YOu HAD NOTHING LEFT TO KEEP IT aOING THIS IS NO SMA ACHIEVEMENT. ift HENRN.. GO GET A SHAMMASH IT'S TIME. HKMC is a work of satire by Alex de Campi (@alexdecampi), Ro Stein (@RosyTintedSpecs), Ted Brandt (@ten_bandits) and Dee Cunniffe (@Deezoid). All characters (c) Marvel Comics. I wasn't going to write any more of these, but then the Pitsburgh Syna gogue shooting happened and I got real, real mad. Friends: the hate you walk past is the hate you accept. Fight Anti-Semitism wherever you see it, whenever, no matter how small. Great evil starts out as little "jokes" people ignore. Don't be an ignorer. (Thanks also to Menachem and Brina for checking everything over, and sour cream is the one true latke topping don't @ me.) jhscdood: alexdecampi: Happy Hanukkah, everyone, from these two jerks! I’m posting this a little early this year. Line art by the amazing Ro Stein Ted Brandt, and colour art by @deecunniffe.  I want to point out what a technical achievement this story is on the art side. There’s a real joy to creating a whole story in eight panels, but this? This is some magic. We introduce four new characters. In panel 5, SIX PEOPLE are talking. SIX. In the world of comics, that’s almost un-doable.  Yet Ro and Ted arranged everything so the conversations flow and are sensibly grouped, all the “acting” is fantastic, and then Dee laid on top these beautiful, almost fairytale colours – look at the subtle work, the blush in Henry’s cheeks, Frank’s five o-clock shadow, the shine of the wine bottle’s glass surface, the light texturing in the backgrounds… and of course the snow! This is some first-class illustration work on an incredibly hard script. (I fear Ro and Ted always get me at my worst – my very formalist script for them in the 24 Panels anthology was no cakewalk either. (The problem is, they’re just so damn good at it… check out their work on the Image comic Crowded!) As always, if you like what we do in Hells Kitchen Movie Club, consider donating a little to a veteran’s charity.  (I also have a thriller novel I’m crowdfunding, please check it out, we are more than halfway there. The book is all written…) Previously in Hell: cover image // 01 // 02 // 03 // Xmas // 04 // 05 // 06 // 07 // Hanukkah // That time the Punisher’s creator gave us a thumbs-up // twitter // insta I AM CRYING THIS IS GORGEOUS
Amazon, Bad, and Bad Boys: ALEX DE CAMP RO STEIN TED B
 RANDT DE E CUNNIF FE
 THANKS FOR
 COMING ALONG,
 FRANK. IT MEANS
 S'FINE, BARNES.
 IM NOT EXACTW
 OVERBURDEN印
 WITH HOLIDA
 COMMITMENTS
 ン)
 AND I'M
 TRIUWN, DEEPLY
 SOR2N FOR EVERY
 THING THAT'S ABOUT
 TO HAPPEN
 HAPPY^
 HANUKKAH!
 HENRY!
 HERE, AND
 A FRIEND!
 GET IN
 S IT
 A FRIEND
 FRIEND, OR
 JUST A
 FRIEND?
 FREEINGUES BROUGHT
 OUT!
 HOW'S
 STEVE?
 WHAT
 THE...?
 HES BUS
 DOING CHARITY
 aALAS THIS TIME
 OF YEAR.
 DIDNT
 REALY ASK,
 WHN DON'T YOu
 BECAUSE
 GO TO FANCN GALAS? |Y WHEN I SHOW UP
 Nou'D Look aREAT /T ONE, PEOPLE
 JOSH. You
 ARE.?
 IN A TuX
 FUSED.
 ASSUME SOMEONE'S
 GONNA DIE
 THAT'S
 NONSENSE!
 IT'S BEEN
 AGES SINCE
 NOuVE KIuE
 ANNONE.
 THOUGHT
 HE WAS RISH
 CATHOUC
 ITS BEEN
 FOUR VAYS
 MY DAD WAS
 CATHOuc. MY MA
 WAS JENISH.
 SISTER BECCA
 MARRIEN A
 JEWISH GUN.
 I'M JEWISH-
 ADJACENT
 YOu'RE
 A JEW!
 THEN HAD
 LEAH. SHES THE Ow
 LADN IN THE KITCHEN D
 WHO'S GONNA FEED
 You LATKEs uNTIレ
 NOU EXPLODE.

 HENIRN! STOP IT!
 SPEAKING OF
 LEAH, SuE HAS AU
 SORTS OF FAMI
 STORIES ABOuT
 BuCKN AS A KID
 I SPEAK HEBREN
 BECAUSE EVIL SCIENCE
 NAZIS IMPLANTEN IT
 IN MN BZAIN, ALONG
 WITH 18 OTHER
 ANGUAGES.
 HIM DECIDE
 urs
 FOR HIMSELF.
 THERE TO
 DECIDE?
 HIS MOM
 WAS JEWISH, HE
 SPEAKS HEBREW
 HE'S A JEW.
 NO
 FAIR!
 ARE THERE
 PHOTOS?
 HAVE
 To Go To
 STUPIDEBREW
 SCHCOレ.
 CAN I GET
 EVIL SCIENCE
 NAZIS TO
 No
 FINE
 Look, Kiv. WE
 DONT GET MANN WERE KEEPING
 SUPERHEROS.A NOu, AND TO HEL
 CMON
 THERE
 ARE WHOLE
 ALBUMS.
 WITH THE FINE
 PRINT
 I'M NOT
 A HERO
 BulL
 SURVIVED. EVERYTHING
 NOu SURVIvEv,
 AND NOURE STIU
 A GOOD PERSON
 LIGHT aO OUT, EVEN
 WHEN AL WAS DARKENEN WHEN
 AND TERRIBLE
 AROUND NOu.
 YOu HAD NOTHING
 LEFT TO KEEP IT
 aOING
 THIS IS
 NO SMA
 ACHIEVEMENT.
 ift
 HENRN..
 GO GET A
 SHAMMASH
 IT'S TIME.
 HKMC is a work of satire by Alex de Campi (@alexdecampi), Ro Stein (@RosyTintedSpecs), Ted Brandt (@ten_bandits) and Dee
 Cunniffe (@Deezoid). All characters (c) Marvel Comics. I wasn't going to write any more of these, but then the Pitsburgh Syna
 gogue shooting happened and I got real, real mad. Friends: the hate you walk past is the hate you accept. Fight Anti-Semitism
 wherever you see it, whenever, no matter how small. Great evil starts out as little "jokes" people ignore. Don't be an ignorer.
 (Thanks also to Menachem and Brina for checking everything over, and sour cream is the one true latke topping don't @ me.)
jhscdood:
alexdecampi:

Happy Hanukkah, everyone, from these two jerks! I’m posting this a little early this year. Line art by the amazing Ro Stein  Ted Brandt, and colour art by @deecunniffe. 
I want to point out what a technical achievement this story is on the art side. There’s a real joy to creating a whole story in eight panels, but this? This is some magic. We introduce four new characters. In panel 5, SIX PEOPLE are talking. SIX. In the world of comics, that’s almost un-doable. 
Yet Ro and Ted arranged everything so the conversations flow and are sensibly grouped, all the “acting” is fantastic, and then Dee laid on top these beautiful, almost fairytale colours – look at the subtle work, the blush in Henry’s cheeks, Frank’s five o-clock shadow, the shine of the wine bottle’s glass surface, the light texturing in the backgrounds… and of course the snow! This is some first-class illustration work on an incredibly hard script. (I fear Ro and Ted always get me at my worst – my very formalist script for them in the 24 Panels anthology was no cakewalk either. (The problem is, they’re just so damn good at it… check out their work on the Image comic Crowded!)
As always, if you like what we do in Hells Kitchen Movie Club, consider donating a little to a veteran’s charity. 
(I also have a thriller novel I’m crowdfunding, please check it out, we are more than halfway there. The book is all written…)
Previously in Hell: cover image // 01 // 02 // 03 // Xmas // 04 // 05 // 06 // 07 // Hanukkah // That time the Punisher’s creator gave us a thumbs-up // twitter // insta


I AM CRYING THIS IS GORGEOUS

jhscdood: alexdecampi: Happy Hanukkah, everyone, from these two jerks! I’m posting this a little early this year. Line art by the amazing R...

Arguing, Ariel, and DeMarcus Cousins: 12:26 PM Tweet Ariel Celeste @arielsqueaks "but I nEED To OWn GUNs iN CASe I HavE To DEfEND MYself AgAINST AN İNtruDER" ok but I'm.pretty certain you don't need a automatic. 2/20/18, 10:58 PM for that View Tweet activity 2 Likes Add another Tweet <p><a href="http://friendly-neighborhood-patriarch.tumblr.com/post/176323034267/russiansupport" class="tumblr_blog">friendly-neighborhood-patriarch</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://russian--support.tumblr.com/post/176322915232/friendly-neighborhood-patriarch" class="tumblr_blog">russian–support</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://friendly-neighborhood-patriarch.tumblr.com/post/176322834387/russiansupport-theidledrifter" class="tumblr_blog">friendly-neighborhood-patriarch</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://russian--support.tumblr.com/post/176322727632/theidledrifter-russiansupport" class="tumblr_blog">russian–support</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://theidledrifter.tumblr.com/post/176322572207/russiansupport-lightofliberty" class="tumblr_blog">theidledrifter</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://russian--support.tumblr.com/post/176321705962/lightofliberty-arielsqueaks-i-tweeted-this-a" class="tumblr_blog">russian–support</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://lightofliberty.tumblr.com/post/176320875866/arielsqueaks-i-tweeted-this-a-few-months-ago" class="tumblr_blog">lightofliberty</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="http://arielsqueaks.tumblr.com/post/176163540856/i-tweeted-this-a-few-months-ago-edit-allow-me" class="tumblr_blog">arielsqueaks</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>I tweeted this a few months ago</p> <p> Edit: Allow me to be more specific. You don’t need an ak-47 or an ar-15 for that </p> </blockquote> <p>U can’t even get an AK-47 anywhere &amp; I need whichever gun I want. 🙄</p> </blockquote><p>So OP wants me to use only a bolt action rifle which typically fires a 7.62x51mm/.308 or a shotgun, both of which cause greater damage to the target and/or the surrounding area than say a 9mm or a .223/5.56x45mm? </p><p>I would prefer to kill the intruder and only them than to also potentially kill my neighbor or anyone in the adjacent rooms. I’d like the round to bounce around inside my enemy and not go through him.</p><p>Picture below to help you understand the big numbers, OP</p><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="666" data-orig-width="1200"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/2d56e0c01b5cf39f3f5fa1425de78888/tumblr_pci6rxnmD61sy3zw7_540.jpg" data-orig-height="666" data-orig-width="1200"/></figure></blockquote> <p>OP, many home invasions are with teams of 3 to 4 criminals. An AR15 means I can use one magazine to fight them off without reloading. Despite what fiction says. It can take multiple shots to stop someone. Even if such shots are rifle rounds. Also they do make AR carbines chambered for pistol cartridges. </p></blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="250" data-orig-width="450" data-tumblr-attribution="machetelanding:omZd8w4032xPbS8BoYTajw:ZNlj6l1k6MJEt"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/72517c98a24fa35fa2400a9a24828c59/tumblr_nnw4zlexW01uphxvgo1_500.gif" data-orig-height="250" data-orig-width="450"/></figure></blockquote> <p>None of these jusrifications are necessary. Get whatever gun you want cuz it brings you happiness. No more reason needed.</p></blockquote> <p>Necessary, no, but it helps to be articulated against retards like OP.</p><p>Also excellent for home defense:</p><p><br/></p><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="164" data-orig-width="300" data-tumblr-attribution="monarchofmurder:DoEOMvCoE0nboHenRkxmVA:ZEcbtr2YKY9o6"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/e04c6c36fc910b5b305cf432313e4b11/tumblr_p9dait21VJ1sunravo1_400.gif" data-orig-height="164" data-orig-width="300"/></figure></blockquote> <p>I just get very frustrated sometimes when people feel the need to provide reasons why their rights should be respected.</p><p>It’s not something that needs to be reasoned.</p></blockquote> <p>I agree that rights shouldn’t have to be legitimized because they are simply rights. But it is nice to argue against the asinine “you don’t need that gun for that thing!” argument that’s almost always from people who don’t know shit about guns to begin with. I could shoot a much much bigger round with - hunting gun then with an AR 15, but only the big black scary one is the one that they’re convinced is a death machine.</p>
Arguing, Ariel, and DeMarcus Cousins: 12:26 PM
 Tweet
 Ariel Celeste
 @arielsqueaks
 "but I nEED To OWn GUNs iN
 CASe I HavE To DEfEND MYself
 AgAINST AN İNtruDER"
 ok but I'm.pretty certain you
 don't need a
 automatic.
 2/20/18, 10:58 PM
 for that
 View Tweet activity
 2 Likes
 Add another Tweet
<p><a href="http://friendly-neighborhood-patriarch.tumblr.com/post/176323034267/russiansupport" class="tumblr_blog">friendly-neighborhood-patriarch</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="http://russian--support.tumblr.com/post/176322915232/friendly-neighborhood-patriarch" class="tumblr_blog">russian–support</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="http://friendly-neighborhood-patriarch.tumblr.com/post/176322834387/russiansupport-theidledrifter" class="tumblr_blog">friendly-neighborhood-patriarch</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="http://russian--support.tumblr.com/post/176322727632/theidledrifter-russiansupport" class="tumblr_blog">russian–support</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="https://theidledrifter.tumblr.com/post/176322572207/russiansupport-lightofliberty" class="tumblr_blog">theidledrifter</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="http://russian--support.tumblr.com/post/176321705962/lightofliberty-arielsqueaks-i-tweeted-this-a" class="tumblr_blog">russian–support</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="https://lightofliberty.tumblr.com/post/176320875866/arielsqueaks-i-tweeted-this-a-few-months-ago" class="tumblr_blog">lightofliberty</a>:</p><blockquote>
<p><a href="http://arielsqueaks.tumblr.com/post/176163540856/i-tweeted-this-a-few-months-ago-edit-allow-me" class="tumblr_blog">arielsqueaks</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p>I tweeted this a few months ago</p>
<p>

Edit: Allow me to be more specific. You don’t need an ak-47 or an ar-15 for that </p>
</blockquote>

<p>U can’t even get an AK-47 anywhere &amp; I need whichever gun I want. 🙄</p>
</blockquote><p>So OP wants me to use only a bolt action rifle which typically fires a 7.62x51mm/.308 or a shotgun, both of which cause greater damage to the target and/or the surrounding area than say a 9mm or a .223/5.56x45mm? </p><p>I would prefer to kill the intruder and only them than to also potentially kill my neighbor or anyone in the adjacent rooms. I’d like the round to bounce around inside my enemy and not go through him.</p><p>Picture below to help you understand the big numbers, OP</p><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="666" data-orig-width="1200"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/2d56e0c01b5cf39f3f5fa1425de78888/tumblr_pci6rxnmD61sy3zw7_540.jpg" data-orig-height="666" data-orig-width="1200"/></figure></blockquote>

<p>OP, many home invasions are with teams of 3 to 4 criminals. An AR15 means I can use one magazine to fight them off without reloading. Despite what fiction says. It can take multiple shots to stop someone. Even if such shots are rifle rounds. Also they do make AR carbines chambered for pistol cartridges. </p></blockquote>

<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="250" data-orig-width="450" data-tumblr-attribution="machetelanding:omZd8w4032xPbS8BoYTajw:ZNlj6l1k6MJEt"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/72517c98a24fa35fa2400a9a24828c59/tumblr_nnw4zlexW01uphxvgo1_500.gif" data-orig-height="250" data-orig-width="450"/></figure></blockquote>

<p>None of these jusrifications are necessary. Get whatever gun you want cuz it brings you happiness. No more reason needed.</p></blockquote>

<p>Necessary, no, but it helps to be articulated against retards like OP.</p><p>Also excellent for home defense:</p><p><br/></p><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="164" data-orig-width="300" data-tumblr-attribution="monarchofmurder:DoEOMvCoE0nboHenRkxmVA:ZEcbtr2YKY9o6"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/e04c6c36fc910b5b305cf432313e4b11/tumblr_p9dait21VJ1sunravo1_400.gif" data-orig-height="164" data-orig-width="300"/></figure></blockquote>

<p>I just get very frustrated sometimes when people feel the need to provide reasons why their rights should be respected.</p><p>It’s not something that needs to be reasoned.</p></blockquote>

<p>I agree that rights shouldn’t have to be legitimized because they are simply rights. But it is nice to argue against the asinine “you don’t need that gun for that thing!” argument that’s almost always from people who don’t know shit about guns to begin with. I could shoot a much much bigger round with - hunting gun then with an AR 15, but only the big black scary one is the one that they’re convinced is a death machine.</p>

friendly-neighborhood-patriarch: russian–support: friendly-neighborhood-patriarch: russian–support: theidledrifter: russian–support: l...

Apparently, Ass, and Bad: bibliotecaria-d: ebonykain: karacat: othersideofforty: erinnightwalker: ripped-up-jeans-and-glitter: erinnightwalker: acaffeinejunkie: erinnightwalker: erinnightwalker: geostatonary: sixpenceee: “A house I pass on the way to work has this sculpture in its yard. Its about 8 feet tall.” (Source) “HELLO NEIGHBOR STEVE, I WOULD LIKE TO INVITE YOU TO BARBEQUE ON THE EVE OF THE BLOOD MOON.  I FEEL WE GOT OFF TO A BAD START.” “NEIGHBOR STEVE, DO YOU NOT WISH TO PARTAKE OF THE UNCLEAN FLESH-MEATS OF PIGS AND THE POLLUTED ESSENCES OF TOMATO?  PERHAPS YOU ARE A CAROLINA STYLE MAN, NEIGHBOR STEVE?” “PUT THE GUN AWAY NEIGHBOR STEVE, YOU KNOW I SHALL ONLY RISE AGAIN WITH THE DAWNING OF THE MOON.  WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS MANY TIMES.” “LOOK AT THIS PICTURE MY SON DREW OF YOU AND CHILD TIMMY, YOUR SON.  ARE THEY NOT THE PICTURE OF PACT-MATES?  THIS COULD BE YOU AND ME, NEIGHBOR STEVE.” “YOU MISSED THE UNHOLY NEXUS OF POWER THAT IS THE KEY TO MY CORPOREAL FORM, NEIGHBOR STEVE.  YOU WILL NEED TO RELOAD NOW, SO I WILL GO INSIDE TO MY HELL-WIFE AND PUT YOU DOWN AS A SOLID ‘MAYBE’.“ I have the feeling that the families get along great except for Steve. Like, the wives are baking (questionable) brownies together, the kids are playing together, Antler Guy occasionally takes Son and Timmy to school (no car, just carries them in huge swinging strides through a nexus of ungoldly sights in a swirling netherworld shortcut. Sometimes they stop for McDonalds). Hell-wife gave them a potted Audrey Jr., Steve’s wife (who I now christen Sharon) gave them a begonia. One time Steve tries throwing holy water but all Antler Guy does is thank him, saying that no, Antler Guy isn’t Catholic but it’s the thought that counts, he is so kind to water his creeping deathshade vines regardless. For Christmas Antler Guy gives Steve a case of ammunition. To be funny/sarcastically mean Steve gets Antler Guy the world’s most hideous Christmas sweater, singing light-up reindeer included. He immediately regrets it because not only does Antler Guy love it and wears it for several months, it will never need batteries because Antler Guy powers it with his own eldritch aura. When they come back from a holiday to Hawaii, Steve is horrified to find out Sharon bought them matching Hawaiian shirts. He is even more horrified that his wife means it that if he doesn’t wear it he will forever sleep on the couch. I want to expand on this, since I see it’s still passing around and the ideas have grown in my brainmeats. What drives Steve up the wall and down the other side is how… normal… everyone treats the Abominations. (Yes, that is their last name. No, it is not a joke. Son was asked his last name for the standardized testing at school, had a quick conference with Timmy, and decided that Son Abomination sounded good, “Since my dad calls your dad the Abomination anyway and we can paint it on your mailbox just like the Henderson’s did theirs!”. Antler Guy agreed and did a lovely rendition of it for the mailbox, with only a few glyphs of soul-rending terror added to keep up to snuff.) The Great Plant Exchange went beautifully, though the Audrey Jr. (named Aubergine for the lovely shade of purple poison that drips from her fangs) is on a diet at the moment. She was in cahoots with the cat and the dog to get into the good people food and ate two frozen turkeys all herself. Now she’s restricted to the hallway table to answer the phone and the door. (Steve actually likes her, and keeps slipping her hotdogs when Sharon isn’t looking. Their door-to-door salesman rates have dropped dramatically since she changed abodes.) Hell-wife has almost gotten the begonia to bloom and say it’s first words. The homeowner’s association just loves the Abominations. All paperwork stamped and dotted, in on time and in triplicate. Antler Guy likes filing, says it reminds him of his old job. There is a resident who spent 20 years as a lawyer and they have long, animated conversations about all sorts of things that make Steve swear to never need legal counsel. Hell-wife joined the PTA and spearheaded a committee to fundraise in the fall with a haunted house. It was a county-wide hit, though the claims that a particularly rowdy group had been deliberately lost in a timeslip to the Outer Doors Of Chaos was firmly rebuffed. Most young people nowadays, it was agreed, just couldn’t appreciate flute music. Antler Guy really does try to connect with Steve. The surprise birthday party was perhaps a bit much, given that most participants do not have the ability to suddenly materialize in front of the guest of honor to give them a hug. Sharon assured them that Steve normally screams on his birthday, and the remains of the cake were heartily enjoyed by all. (A plate was saved for Steve once he came down from the treehouse.) After the Hawaii trip (which was a present for his birthday) and the Matching Shirt Ultimatum (which was Sharon’s attempt at patching things up with Antler Guy, he really was sad about the birthday screaming), Steve finally grabs his courage in both hands (plus the shotgun, which let’s face it is about as useful as a teddybear at the moment but it does comfort him) and confronts Antler Guy, about why such a group of……Abominations could possibly come to his quiet slice of suburban bliss. “……BUT NEIGHBOR STEVE, WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE.” “No no no, I read it in a book! Don’t you have to be invited or something?!” “WELL YES, TO THE HUMAN WORLD. BUT THIS IS NOT THE HUMAN WORLD AS YOUR THREE-DIMENSIONAL BRAIN PERCEIVES IT.” “What the hell does that mean?!!” “DID YOU NOT KNOW, NEIGHBOR STEVE? LEGALLY SPEAKING, ALL OF THE VASTNESS OF HUMAN SUBURBIA IS, IN FACT, A PART OF HELL.” “……..” “THE FLAMINGOES ARE THE BOUNDARY MARKERS. IT WAS DECIDED THAT THE FLAMING SKULLS WERE TOO KITSCHY FOR MODERN TIMES.” Reblogging cause I kind of want more of this…. Since you asked nicely ^_^ Antler Guy, as one may have noticed, is a calm sort of fellow. In the face of human atrocities he displays a curious Zen sort of state of mind. Timmy asks Son if he’d ever seen his dad angry, and Son hasn’t. (When asked, Timmy says that yeah his dad gets mad, but it’s like the Fitz-Simmon’s chihuahua down the street- mostly high-pitched noise and occasionally TV remote chewing. Sharon replaces the poor thing every 3 months or so.) When pressed (gently, at the monthly book club, and with many cups of tea and at least one daiquiri), Hellwife admits that this comes from serving many years at his old job. After the revelation of the nature of his neighborhood, Steve has not been overtly mean to Antler Guy. Not yet in the realm of friends, but vastly better than before. No more holy water, no more shotgun blasts. (Still the occasional jumpscare, but Antler Guy really can’t help that part.) They even occasionally share news over the fence as Antler Guy trains the creeping deathshade vines in proper oral hygiene, and Steve waters his lawn (and occasionally slips a goldfish cracker to a deathshade vine that looks particularly adorable. Aubergine has trained him well.) Which is how Antler Guy learns about the peeping tom that’s been plaguing the adjacent streets. Apparently the pervert has been getting bolder, and rattling doors. He almost broke into one apartment, whose occupants were a single mother and her daughter, Mildred. Millie, a shy girl who is a great horror fan and firm friends with Timmy and Son, had missed school because of it. Steve knew because Sharon had told him, on her way to deliver a tuna casserole and a double batch of brownies to the pair. (Sharon has been dubbed the unoffical mob boss of the Mother’s Mafia. She is quite pleased with this title.) He tells her to wait, confers briefly with Aubergine, and sends her along with, “Only as a loan, you know, but Auby wants to stretch her roots and she’d probably like getting all ribboned and curled anyway. Little girls still do that, right?” She has strict orders to bite anyone that makes Millie or her mother cry. (Steve is dubbed the official neighborhood marshmallow for this. The bookclub buys him a jar of marshmallow fluff in commemoration.) He turns to look at Antler Guy, and freezes, much as a chihuahua will when faced with a hungry hellhound. “You….you alright there buddy?” “Ň̵̴̫̫̙͙̻̞͈̫̥̪̱͈͈̯̍̀̀͆ͫ̒̿̄͗͘͡͝ͅO̊͑̑͒̎͑̃ͬͭͮ̅̔̆̃̉ͯ̇͗̀҉̵̻̜̞͉̟͙͚̻̪̼̖̀͟ͅ.̵͈̣͈̙̣̜̻̭̩̝̠̞͗ͤͥ̓͗ͬ̓̄͊̓̅̐ͩͮͧͤ̽̐ “ “Uh, yeah, I guess not. Did you, uh, know you’re kinda fuzzing at the edges, there?” “Ň̵̴̫̫̙͙̻̞͈̫̥̪̱͈͈̯̍̀̀͆ͫ̒̿̄͗͘͡͝ͅO̊͑̑͒̎͑̃ͬͭͮ̅̔̆̃̉ͯ̇͗̀҉̵̻̜̞͉̟͙͚̻̪̼̖̀͟ͅ.̵͈̣͈̙̣̜̻̭̩̝̠̞͗ͤͥ̓͗ͬ̓̄͊̓̅̐ͩͮͧͤ̽̐ “ “Right. Um. Well.” Steven makes a very ungraceful exit when space starts bending around Antler Guy’s still, unmoving form. When Steve sees a shadowy form in his back yard when he gets up to pee that night, there’s no hesitation. He grabs the shotgun from the cabinet and peeks out the back door window. Just in time to see a nebulous form of soul-wrenching terror engulf the man reaching for the door handle. A sliver of moonlight reveals a very familiar eyesocket. After a moment (and a sincere prayer of thanks that he had already peed, cause otherwise he’d have done it then and there) Steve opens the door. The nebulous form freezes, reality bending around the edges. “Nice night for it, huh?” “…..Y̮̮͍͔͇͙͙̟̐͌͛̓̏͞͡Eͩͭͮ̓̍ͯ̀ͧ͏̵̴̛̺̠̱͕̕ͅS͈̹̮̟̳̪̩̘͍̤̲̻͈̱̳̽̋́ͩ̃͋̎ͩ̈͆̀͘͢͢͟ͅ.̧̢͈̭̝̥̦͚͍̇ͫ̃̓͆̿̇ͪ͊ͧ̃͛͌͜͢ “ “Guy won’t scare anymore litttle girls, will he?” “Ň̵̴̫̫̙͙̻̞͈̫̥̪̱͈͈̯̍̀̀͆ͫ̒̿̄͗͘͡͝ͅO̊͑̑͒̎͑̃ͬͭͮ̅̔̆̃̉ͯ̇͗̀҉̵̻̜̞͉̟͙͚̻̪̼̖̀͟ͅ.̵͈̣͈̙̣̜̻̭̩̝̠̞͗ͤͥ̓͗ͬ̓̄͊̓̅̐ͩͮͧͤ̽̐ “ “Good. G’night then. Oh, and if Hellwife has an extra Audrey Jr. that needs a home, let me know. Millie likes Aubergine a lot but Augy’s just too big for the apartment. Dunno if they come in miniatures though.” “ I̴̛̟̭͉̮̜̩̬̮̣̘̰͚̩͙̟̳͔̜̙͑̂̆̆͗͒̀ ͖̖̰͉̥͖͔̙̤̺͍̳͈̹͙̣̞̇̇ͤ͒̅̈́͆̽ͧ́̚̚̕͘W̶̶̱͈̞͖̼̟̣̮̌͂͒̈́͑͌͒͋̍ͮ͗̈ͣ̓ͤ͘͟I̴̶̞̥̩͇̔ͩͦ̇̉̾ͣͬ̀̀̒͒ͧ͛͌͛͆̚͘͢ͅͅL̠̟͕̠̟̪̰̻ͯ͂͊ͥ̍̏͋̐ͬ̉̆̈̀͠L̸̞̭͔̮ͦ͑̉ͮͩ́ͬͨͣ͘͜.̴͈͎̮͇͓͖̱̻̣͊͊ͤͩ͊̑͗͞ ̸̡̩̖̞̩̻̩̪̭͙̳͚͇̟̺͖̑͊ͫ̀͆ͨ̉̔̓̂̓̋T̷̷̟͉̟̻̻̪̞̰̯̻͈̣̰̬̻̾͐́ͭ̓̅́͡H͇̬̪̩̬̝̣͍͈͇ͯ͛̏͌ͮͧͭͦ͟͜A̴̴̤͕͈̤̮̞̱̯͔͕̙͔͖̰̬̰͈̠ͥ̏ͥ̍̽ͧ̀͝N͗̓͋̃̈̑̀̅ͣ̽̒̂̄ͯͩͤ͏̢͢͏͈̯͎̪͇̟̠͔̯͓͓̰̠̱̠̳͕̳͝K̢̓ͧ͛͛ͣ̄̓̓ͯ̍̈̈́̌͂̔͟҉̛̘̥̖̤̦̻̳͙͟ ̢̢̻̥̹̣̞͉̘͇͚͍̖̯̘͚͔̗̩͓͐ͮ͂͂̀̚͘͠Y̜̞͇̳̗̬͎̰̙̜̩̪͎̞̙̠̔͂̌̃́̀O͇̺̲͙͍̬̳̘͈̱̜̝͔̖̊ͥ̿ͫͤͫͫͩ͋̓̃ͦ̈̄͢͟Ū̢͖̲̦̠̤͎̙͉̦͖̖͓͍̺̺ͪͯ͐͆͆ͭͯ͗ͦ̄̅̌̈̃̾ͭ̋ͧ͢͢͠͡.̶̸̞͓̞̹̗̻̣͈͕̠̬̦ͫ̆ͤͬͨͦ͒͂ͨ̿ͩͪ͘͞.ͧ͛̒̂̂͗ͨ̌͆ͥͭ͒̉͘͜͏̙͖̰̝̙̲͓̙͕͍̥̳̩́͠.̶̷̮͎̱̼̬͖̰͎͚͙̥̓͋͋ͦ̓̓ͯ͆͛̏ͫ̅ͯ.̨̧̙̤̳̮̺̙͖̞͔̗͎͍̑̆ͮ͐ͩͦ̌̽̾̏͘͠.̹̖͕̮͕̞̰͍͚͖̌ͪ̃̐̐̌̌̅̉͑ͧͪͪͬ̓͐́͛̿͘͞ ….NEIGHBOR STEVE.” “Anytime.” There are no more peeping reports. Millie brings back Aubergine and spends an entire afternoon teaching Steve the particulars of Augy’s new “hairstyle” (a gravity-defying mass of teased tendrils, ribbons, and barrettes) in between games of tag and hide-and-seek with Timmy and Son. When Antler Guy and Hellwife present her and her mother Beatrice with a tiny Audrey Jr. (”pOOr ThinG Is a ruNT And wOn’T geT MorE Than A FooT taLL, BEa, aNd NeeDS a New FRiEnD”, assures Hellwife), both mother and child burst out crying. Millie names it Bella, after Bella Lugosi, and shows it to the excited group of boys (Steve and Augy included). IT GOT SO MUCH BETTER!!!! Life in a subdivision partly populated with eldritch and possibly magical (officially classified as “extra-dimensional”, for even when faced with the physics-defying nature of their new co-habitating citizens the government cannot bring itself to acknowledge them as “magic wielding hell-beasts”, as some high-ranking staff members initially suggested) goes on fairly normally. Sure, there are a few hiccoughs. The creeping deathshade vines get a stern talking to about appropriate afternoon snacks (”NOT the Fitz-Simmon’s chihuahua, I don’t care how much he has it coming or what he excreted where, now spit it out!”), Aubergine sheds all her leaves at once and snowballs the house (but does helps sweep up afterwards), and moonrise is a good time to watch the night-gaunts fly by (but on moondark it’s best to stay inside, no matter how prettily they glow. They’re somewhat similar to fireflies, and don’t always check to see if their partner glows as well. It wouldn’t be as much of a problem if they didn’t dive mid-coitus and drop just above the ground.) While the neighborhood in general is accepting of the Abominations, when things get to be a bit much they tend to come to Steve. Since meeting Beatrice and Millie (and the formation of the Terrifying Triad known as Millie, Son, and Timmy) Steve is the adult human male most comfortable dealing with Antler Guy on the whole street. (Sharon as U.M.B. is widely held to have, well, steel-whatever-the-hell-she-wants, and Timmy is known to run over to Antler Guy and ask for rides through “that wobbly grey place, you know, the one with the REALLY BIG alligators?”. Still, the courtesies must be observed.) So when a writhing sparking ball of snarling terror and teeth takes up residence in the Manzo’s tool-shed, and when Animal Control refuses to come (the street is banned due to a run-in with the deathshade vines), Steve is called. Having heard the description, Steve brings Antler Guy. When they get there, Mr. Manzo is forcibly holding the door shut. Unholy yowling is coming from inside. At a gesture from Antler Guy, Mr. Manzo leaps away, and the doors blast open. A 150 pound ball of whimpering, flaming something hits Steve and knocks him on his ass. The whimpering, flaming something proceeds to slobber all over Steve, his shirt, his pants, and a decent portion of grass in between distressed yelps. “GACK!” “NEIGHBOR STEVE, ARE YOU IN DISTRESS?” “GAAACKLEARGHSPLUH- DOWN boy, HEEL, that’s a good- Antler Guy, what is this?!” “I BELIEVE IT IS A HELLHOUND, NEIGHBOR STEVE.” “Good grief, I didn’t know they came this big and…..and….. Guy?” “YES NEIGHBOR STEVE?” “Is he supposed to be…..skinless?” “YES NEIGHBOR STEVE. THIS VARIETY WAS BRED TO BE LAP DOGS. THEIR FLAME IS MOSTLY WITHOUT HEAT, AND THEY HAVE NO SKIN FOR THOSE WHO ARE ALLERGIC.” “…….laPDOG?!” “YES NEIGHBOR STEVE.” Antler Guy lays a hand on the hellhound, who tries to burrow further into Steve with little success. “HE APPEARS TO HAVE BEEN RECENTLY WEANED. IT WILL TAKE TIME FOR HIM TO GROW TO HIS FULL SIZE.” “……” “THE SMALL BREEDS GROW MORE SLOWLY.” A vile hissing emanates from the shed. (Mr. Manzo has long since fled for the safety of his kitchen.) As Steve attempts to calm the frantic hell-puppy, Antler Guy investigates. He reaches one long hand in behind the riding lawnmower and….. winces. “NEIGHBOR STEVE?” “Yeah- I’m right here, uh, doggie, not going anywhere- Guy?” “I APPEAR TO HAVE AN…. ATTACHMENT.” Steve is awed at the tiny ball of white fluff attached to one long, thin finger. He didn’t know that Antler Guy’s fingers COULD be bitten, much less by a tiny kitten. Which is how Steve and Sharon got Clifford (”Aww c’mon Sharon, how could I pass that one up?”), and Antler Guy and Hellwife get Fluffy (”NEIGHBOR STEVE ASSURES ME IT IS A TRADITIONAL TITLE.”) This might be the most amazing thing that ever crossed my tumblr dash OMIGOSH I’m in love. I LOVE EVERY BIT OF THIS This is like the stoplight post. It is Tumblr legend, and I feel I must reblog it for those fortunate few who get to experience it for the first time.
Apparently, Ass, and Bad: bibliotecaria-d:
ebonykain:

karacat:

othersideofforty:

erinnightwalker:

ripped-up-jeans-and-glitter:

erinnightwalker:


acaffeinejunkie:

erinnightwalker:

erinnightwalker:

geostatonary:

sixpenceee:

“A house I pass on the way to work has this sculpture in its yard. Its about 8 feet tall.”
(Source)

“HELLO NEIGHBOR STEVE, I WOULD LIKE TO INVITE YOU TO BARBEQUE ON THE EVE OF THE BLOOD MOON.  I FEEL WE GOT OFF TO A BAD START.”
“NEIGHBOR STEVE, DO YOU NOT WISH TO PARTAKE OF THE UNCLEAN FLESH-MEATS OF PIGS AND THE POLLUTED ESSENCES OF TOMATO?  PERHAPS YOU ARE A CAROLINA STYLE MAN, NEIGHBOR STEVE?”
 “PUT THE GUN AWAY NEIGHBOR STEVE, YOU KNOW I SHALL ONLY RISE AGAIN WITH THE DAWNING OF THE MOON.  WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS MANY TIMES.”
“LOOK AT THIS PICTURE MY SON DREW OF YOU AND CHILD TIMMY, YOUR SON.  ARE THEY NOT THE PICTURE OF PACT-MATES?  THIS COULD BE YOU AND ME, NEIGHBOR STEVE.”
“YOU MISSED THE UNHOLY NEXUS OF POWER THAT IS THE KEY TO MY CORPOREAL FORM, NEIGHBOR STEVE.  YOU WILL NEED TO RELOAD NOW, SO I WILL GO INSIDE TO MY HELL-WIFE AND PUT YOU DOWN AS A SOLID ‘MAYBE’.“

I have the feeling that the families get along great except for Steve. Like, the wives are baking (questionable) brownies together, the kids are playing together, Antler Guy occasionally takes Son and Timmy to school (no car, just carries them in huge swinging strides through a nexus of ungoldly sights in a swirling netherworld shortcut. Sometimes they stop for McDonalds). Hell-wife gave them a potted Audrey Jr., Steve’s wife (who I now christen Sharon) gave them a begonia.
One time Steve tries throwing holy water but all Antler Guy does is thank him, saying that no, Antler Guy isn’t Catholic but it’s the thought that counts, he is so kind to water his creeping deathshade vines regardless.
For Christmas Antler Guy gives Steve a case of ammunition. To be funny/sarcastically mean Steve gets Antler Guy the world’s most hideous Christmas sweater, singing light-up reindeer included. He immediately regrets it because not only does Antler Guy love it and wears it for several months, it will never need batteries because Antler Guy powers it with his own eldritch aura.
When they come back from a holiday to Hawaii, Steve is horrified to find out Sharon bought them matching Hawaiian shirts. He is even more horrified that his wife means it that if he doesn’t wear it he will forever sleep on the couch.

I want to expand on this, since I see it’s still passing around and the ideas have grown in my brainmeats.
What drives Steve up the wall and down the other side is how… normal… everyone treats the Abominations. (Yes, that is their last name. No, it is not a joke. Son was asked his last name for the standardized testing at school, had a quick conference with Timmy, and decided that Son Abomination sounded good, “Since my dad calls your dad the Abomination anyway and we can paint it on your mailbox just like the Henderson’s did theirs!”. Antler Guy agreed and did a lovely rendition of it for the mailbox, with only a few glyphs of soul-rending terror added to keep up to snuff.)
The Great Plant Exchange went beautifully, though the Audrey Jr. (named Aubergine for the lovely shade of purple poison that drips from her fangs) is on a diet at the moment. She was in cahoots with the cat and the dog to get into the good people food and ate two frozen turkeys all herself. Now she’s restricted to the hallway table to answer the phone and the door. (Steve actually likes her, and keeps slipping her hotdogs when Sharon isn’t looking. Their door-to-door salesman rates have dropped dramatically since she changed abodes.) Hell-wife has almost gotten the begonia to bloom and say it’s first words.
The homeowner’s association just loves the Abominations. All paperwork stamped and dotted, in on time and in triplicate. Antler Guy likes filing, says it reminds him of his old job. There is a resident who spent 20 years as a lawyer and they have long, animated conversations about all sorts of things that make Steve swear to never need legal counsel.
Hell-wife joined the PTA and spearheaded a committee to fundraise in the fall with a haunted house. It was a county-wide hit, though the claims that a particularly rowdy group had been deliberately lost in a timeslip to the Outer Doors Of Chaos was firmly rebuffed. Most young people nowadays, it was agreed, just couldn’t appreciate flute music.
Antler Guy really does try to connect with Steve. The surprise birthday party was perhaps a bit much, given that most participants do not have the ability to suddenly materialize in front of the guest of honor to give them a hug. Sharon assured them that Steve normally screams on his birthday, and the remains of the cake were heartily enjoyed by all. (A plate was saved for Steve once he came down from the treehouse.)
After the Hawaii trip (which was a present for his birthday) and the Matching Shirt Ultimatum (which was Sharon’s attempt at patching things up with Antler Guy, he really was sad about the birthday screaming), Steve finally grabs his courage in both hands (plus the shotgun, which let’s face it is about as useful as a teddybear at the moment but it does comfort him) and confronts Antler Guy, about why such a group of……Abominations could possibly come to his quiet slice of suburban bliss.
“……BUT NEIGHBOR STEVE, WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE.”
“No no no, I read it in a book! Don’t you have to be invited or something?!”
“WELL YES, TO THE HUMAN WORLD. BUT THIS IS NOT THE HUMAN WORLD AS YOUR THREE-DIMENSIONAL BRAIN PERCEIVES IT.”
“What the hell does that mean?!!”
“DID YOU NOT KNOW, NEIGHBOR STEVE? LEGALLY SPEAKING, ALL OF THE VASTNESS OF HUMAN SUBURBIA IS, IN FACT, A PART OF HELL.”
“……..”
“THE FLAMINGOES ARE THE BOUNDARY MARKERS. IT WAS DECIDED THAT THE FLAMING SKULLS WERE TOO KITSCHY FOR MODERN TIMES.”

Reblogging cause I kind of want more of this….


Since you asked nicely ^_^
Antler Guy, as one may have noticed, is a calm sort of fellow. In the face of human atrocities he displays a curious Zen sort of state of mind. Timmy asks Son if he’d ever seen his dad angry, and Son hasn’t. (When asked, Timmy says that yeah his dad gets mad, but it’s like the Fitz-Simmon’s chihuahua down the street- mostly high-pitched noise and occasionally TV remote chewing. Sharon replaces the poor thing every 3 months or so.) When pressed (gently, at the monthly book club, and with many cups of tea and at least one daiquiri), Hellwife admits that this comes from serving many years at his old job.
After the revelation of the nature of his neighborhood, Steve has not been overtly mean to Antler Guy. Not yet in the realm of friends, but vastly better than before. No more holy water, no more shotgun blasts. (Still the occasional jumpscare, but Antler Guy really can’t help that part.) They even occasionally share news over the fence as Antler Guy trains the creeping deathshade vines in proper oral hygiene, and Steve waters his lawn (and occasionally slips a goldfish cracker to a deathshade vine that looks particularly adorable. Aubergine has trained him well.)
Which is how Antler Guy learns about the peeping tom that’s been plaguing the adjacent streets. Apparently the pervert has been getting bolder, and rattling doors. He almost broke into one apartment, whose occupants were a single mother and her daughter, Mildred. Millie, a shy girl who is a great horror fan and firm friends with Timmy and Son, had missed school because of it.
Steve knew because Sharon had told him, on her way to deliver a tuna casserole and a double batch of brownies to the pair. (Sharon has been dubbed the unoffical mob boss of the Mother’s Mafia. She is quite pleased with this title.) He tells her to wait, confers briefly with Aubergine, and sends her along with, “Only as a loan, you know, but Auby wants to stretch her roots and she’d probably like getting all ribboned and curled anyway. Little girls still do that, right?” She has strict orders to bite anyone that makes Millie or her mother cry. (Steve is dubbed the official neighborhood marshmallow for this. The bookclub buys him a jar of marshmallow fluff in commemoration.)
He turns to look at Antler Guy, and freezes, much as a chihuahua will when faced with a hungry hellhound.
“You….you alright there buddy?”



“Ň̵̴̫̫̙͙̻̞͈̫̥̪̱͈͈̯̍̀̀͆ͫ̒̿̄͗͘͡͝ͅO̊͑̑͒̎͑̃ͬͭͮ̅̔̆̃̉ͯ̇͗̀҉̵̻̜̞͉̟͙͚̻̪̼̖̀͟ͅ.̵͈̣͈̙̣̜̻̭̩̝̠̞͗ͤͥ̓͗ͬ̓̄͊̓̅̐ͩͮͧͤ̽̐ “

“Uh, yeah, I guess not. Did you, uh, know you’re kinda fuzzing at the edges, there?”



“Ň̵̴̫̫̙͙̻̞͈̫̥̪̱͈͈̯̍̀̀͆ͫ̒̿̄͗͘͡͝ͅO̊͑̑͒̎͑̃ͬͭͮ̅̔̆̃̉ͯ̇͗̀҉̵̻̜̞͉̟͙͚̻̪̼̖̀͟ͅ.̵͈̣͈̙̣̜̻̭̩̝̠̞͗ͤͥ̓͗ͬ̓̄͊̓̅̐ͩͮͧͤ̽̐ “

“Right. Um. Well.” 
Steven makes a very ungraceful exit when space starts bending around Antler Guy’s still, unmoving form.
When Steve sees a shadowy form in his back yard when he gets up to pee that night, there’s no hesitation. He grabs the shotgun from the cabinet and peeks out the back door window.
Just in time to see a nebulous form of soul-wrenching terror engulf the man reaching for the door handle. A sliver of moonlight reveals a very familiar eyesocket. After a moment (and a sincere prayer of thanks that he had already peed, cause otherwise he’d have done it then and there) Steve opens the door. The nebulous form freezes, reality bending around the edges.
“Nice night for it, huh?”


“…..Y̮̮͍͔͇͙͙̟̐͌͛̓̏͞͡Eͩͭͮ̓̍ͯ̀ͧ͏̵̴̛̺̠̱͕̕ͅS͈̹̮̟̳̪̩̘͍̤̲̻͈̱̳̽̋́ͩ̃͋̎ͩ̈͆̀͘͢͢͟ͅ.̧̢͈̭̝̥̦͚͍̇ͫ̃̓͆̿̇ͪ͊ͧ̃͛͌͜͢

“

“Guy won’t scare anymore litttle girls, will he?”



“Ň̵̴̫̫̙͙̻̞͈̫̥̪̱͈͈̯̍̀̀͆ͫ̒̿̄͗͘͡͝ͅO̊͑̑͒̎͑̃ͬͭͮ̅̔̆̃̉ͯ̇͗̀҉̵̻̜̞͉̟͙͚̻̪̼̖̀͟ͅ.̵͈̣͈̙̣̜̻̭̩̝̠̞͗ͤͥ̓͗ͬ̓̄͊̓̅̐ͩͮͧͤ̽̐ “

“Good. G’night then. Oh, and if Hellwife has an extra Audrey Jr. that needs a home, let me know. Millie likes Aubergine a lot but Augy’s just too big for the apartment. Dunno if they come in miniatures though.”


“
I̴̛̟̭͉̮̜̩̬̮̣̘̰͚̩͙̟̳͔̜̙͑̂̆̆͗͒̀ 
͖̖̰͉̥͖͔̙̤̺͍̳͈̹͙̣̞̇̇ͤ͒̅̈́͆̽ͧ́̚̚̕͘W̶̶̱͈̞͖̼̟̣̮̌͂͒̈́͑͌͒͋̍ͮ͗̈ͣ̓ͤ͘͟I̴̶̞̥̩͇̔ͩͦ̇̉̾ͣͬ̀̀̒͒ͧ͛͌͛͆̚͘͢ͅͅL̠̟͕̠̟̪̰̻ͯ͂͊ͥ̍̏͋̐ͬ̉̆̈̀͠L̸̞̭͔̮ͦ͑̉ͮͩ́ͬͨͣ͘͜.̴͈͎̮͇͓͖̱̻̣͊͊ͤͩ͊̑͗͞
 
̸̡̩̖̞̩̻̩̪̭͙̳͚͇̟̺͖̑͊ͫ̀͆ͨ̉̔̓̂̓̋T̷̷̟͉̟̻̻̪̞̰̯̻͈̣̰̬̻̾͐́ͭ̓̅́͡H͇̬̪̩̬̝̣͍͈͇ͯ͛̏͌ͮͧͭͦ͟͜A̴̴̤͕͈̤̮̞̱̯͔͕̙͔͖̰̬̰͈̠ͥ̏ͥ̍̽ͧ̀͝N͗̓͋̃̈̑̀̅ͣ̽̒̂̄ͯͩͤ͏̢͢͏͈̯͎̪͇̟̠͔̯͓͓̰̠̱̠̳͕̳͝K̢̓ͧ͛͛ͣ̄̓̓ͯ̍̈̈́̌͂̔͟҉̛̘̥̖̤̦̻̳͙͟
 
̢̢̻̥̹̣̞͉̘͇͚͍̖̯̘͚͔̗̩͓͐ͮ͂͂̀̚͘͠Y̜̞͇̳̗̬͎̰̙̜̩̪͎̞̙̠̔͂̌̃́̀O͇̺̲͙͍̬̳̘͈̱̜̝͔̖̊ͥ̿ͫͤͫͫͩ͋̓̃ͦ̈̄͢͟Ū̢͖̲̦̠̤͎̙͉̦͖̖͓͍̺̺ͪͯ͐͆͆ͭͯ͗ͦ̄̅̌̈̃̾ͭ̋ͧ͢͢͠͡.̶̸̞͓̞̹̗̻̣͈͕̠̬̦ͫ̆ͤͬͨͦ͒͂ͨ̿ͩͪ͘͞.ͧ͛̒̂̂͗ͨ̌͆ͥͭ͒̉͘͜͏̙͖̰̝̙̲͓̙͕͍̥̳̩́͠.̶̷̮͎̱̼̬͖̰͎͚͙̥̓͋͋ͦ̓̓ͯ͆͛̏ͫ̅ͯ.̨̧̙̤̳̮̺̙͖̞͔̗͎͍̑̆ͮ͐ͩͦ̌̽̾̏͘͠.̹̖͕̮͕̞̰͍͚͖̌ͪ̃̐̐̌̌̅̉͑ͧͪͪͬ̓͐́͛̿͘͞ ….NEIGHBOR STEVE.”

“Anytime.”
There are no more peeping reports. Millie brings back Aubergine and spends an entire afternoon teaching Steve the particulars of Augy’s new “hairstyle” (a gravity-defying mass of teased tendrils, ribbons, and barrettes) in between games of tag and hide-and-seek with Timmy and Son.
When Antler Guy and Hellwife present her and her mother Beatrice with a tiny Audrey Jr. (”pOOr ThinG Is a ruNT And wOn’T geT MorE Than A FooT taLL, BEa, aNd NeeDS a New FRiEnD”, assures Hellwife), both mother and child burst out crying. Millie names it Bella, after Bella Lugosi, and shows it to the excited group of boys (Steve and Augy included).


IT GOT SO MUCH BETTER!!!!

Life in a subdivision partly populated with eldritch and possibly magical (officially classified as “extra-dimensional”, for even when faced with the physics-defying nature of their new co-habitating citizens the government cannot bring itself to acknowledge them as “magic wielding hell-beasts”, as some high-ranking staff members initially suggested) goes on fairly normally. 
Sure, there are a few hiccoughs. The creeping deathshade vines get a stern talking to about appropriate afternoon snacks (”NOT the Fitz-Simmon’s chihuahua, I don’t care how much he has it coming or what he excreted where, now spit it out!”), Aubergine sheds all her leaves at once and snowballs the house (but does helps sweep up afterwards), and moonrise is a good time to watch the night-gaunts fly by (but on moondark it’s best to stay inside, no matter how prettily they glow. They’re somewhat similar to fireflies, and don’t always check to see if their partner glows as well. It wouldn’t be as much of a problem if they didn’t dive mid-coitus and drop just above the ground.)
While the neighborhood in general is accepting of the Abominations, when things get to be a bit much they tend to come to Steve. Since meeting Beatrice and Millie (and the formation of the Terrifying Triad known as Millie, Son, and Timmy) Steve is the adult human male most comfortable dealing with Antler Guy on the whole street. (Sharon as U.M.B. is widely held to have, well, steel-whatever-the-hell-she-wants, and Timmy is known to run over to Antler Guy and ask for rides through “that wobbly grey place, you know, the one with the REALLY BIG alligators?”. Still, the courtesies must be observed.)
So when a writhing sparking ball of snarling terror and teeth takes up residence in the Manzo’s tool-shed, and when Animal Control refuses to come (the street is banned due to a run-in with the deathshade vines), Steve is called. Having heard the description, Steve brings Antler Guy.
When they get there, Mr. Manzo is forcibly holding the door shut. Unholy yowling is coming from inside. At a gesture from Antler Guy, Mr. Manzo leaps away, and the doors blast open.
A 150 pound ball of whimpering, flaming something hits Steve and knocks him on his ass. The whimpering, flaming something proceeds to slobber all over Steve, his shirt, his pants, and a decent portion of grass in between distressed yelps.
“GACK!”
“NEIGHBOR STEVE, ARE YOU IN DISTRESS?”
“GAAACKLEARGHSPLUH- DOWN boy, HEEL, that’s a good- Antler Guy, what is this?!”
“I BELIEVE IT IS A HELLHOUND, NEIGHBOR STEVE.”
“Good grief, I didn’t know they came this big and…..and….. Guy?”
“YES NEIGHBOR STEVE?”
“Is he supposed to be…..skinless?”
“YES NEIGHBOR STEVE. THIS VARIETY WAS BRED TO BE LAP DOGS. THEIR FLAME IS MOSTLY WITHOUT HEAT, AND THEY HAVE NO SKIN FOR THOSE WHO ARE ALLERGIC.”
“…….laPDOG?!”
“YES NEIGHBOR STEVE.” Antler Guy lays a hand on the hellhound, who tries to burrow further into Steve with little success. “HE APPEARS TO HAVE BEEN RECENTLY WEANED. IT WILL TAKE TIME FOR HIM TO GROW TO HIS FULL SIZE.”
“……”
“THE SMALL BREEDS GROW MORE SLOWLY.”
A vile hissing emanates from the shed. (Mr. Manzo has long since fled for the safety of his kitchen.) As Steve attempts to calm the frantic hell-puppy, Antler Guy investigates. He reaches one long hand in behind the riding lawnmower and….. winces.
“NEIGHBOR STEVE?”
“Yeah- I’m right here, uh, doggie, not going anywhere- Guy?”
“I APPEAR TO HAVE AN…. ATTACHMENT.”
Steve is awed at the tiny ball of white fluff attached to one long, thin finger. He didn’t know that Antler Guy’s fingers COULD be bitten, much less by a tiny kitten.
Which is how Steve and Sharon got Clifford (”Aww c’mon Sharon, how could I pass that one up?”), and Antler Guy and Hellwife get Fluffy (”NEIGHBOR STEVE ASSURES ME IT IS A TRADITIONAL TITLE.”)


This might be the most amazing thing that ever crossed my tumblr dash


OMIGOSH I’m in love.


I LOVE EVERY BIT OF THIS

This is like the stoplight post. It is Tumblr legend, and I feel I must reblog it for those fortunate few who get to experience it for the first time.

bibliotecaria-d: ebonykain: karacat: othersideofforty: erinnightwalker: ripped-up-jeans-and-glitter: erinnightwalker: acaffeinejunkie...

Being Alone, Ass, and Bad: I'm a 21 year-old male. I was out running my 2 miles. Headphones in, music playing, minding my own business. I round the corner at about the halfway point of the run and I see this big black duck looking at me. As I get closer, think to myself, "Man, that's a brave duck, why isn't he running away?" I keep running and realize the duck not only isn't afraid of me or running away, he's running right at me. So I stop and squat down, thinking maybe he was hurt and needed help or something. This bitch ass giant fucking black duck takes a huge bite out of my leg. Like, not playing, drew blood kinda bite I'm thinking to myself, "What the fuck?" So I'm like, maybe he's just an asshole and I keep running think he will leave me alone. I start running again and the faster Irun, the faster he chases me. I start sprinting and he is literally flying behind me attacking me. I'm thinking, "Ive got enough fucking problems in my life as it is man, I dont need this shit so I stop running again kinda like in disbelief trying to figure out what to do. In all my years of being a person, Ive never trained for this This little punk ass duck is chomping on my ankles and it's actually really hurting. He starts grabbing my shoelaces and untying them as I'm trying to run backwards away from him. Weve covered a quarter mile at this point. I try picking him up and throwing him back away from me every time he lunges for blood. I'm thinking, "How the fuck am I gonna explain this if I have to go to the doctor for a duck attack? I'm a grown ass man. This isbullshit." I try running again and he keeps flying after me. I'm at a loss. I dont know what to do at this point. I'm manage to get my phone and start texting my girlfriend, asking her what to do. Am I really gonna have to kill this duck to get away? Like, I don't want to, but I might have to actually fucking kick this duck or grab it by the neck? Seriously?" We have covered 3/4 of a mile at this point. He bites me again and I drop my phone. I pick it up quickly. Who do I call? I've got fucking scars and cuts all over me. While I'm debating whether stand-your-ground laws apply to ducks, I hear a noise; Someone else was outside walking on an adjacent street and came to see what all of the commotion was This was a big mistake. The duck smelled blood, and gave up attacking me to chase after my savior. I saw my window and booked it home running the last half mile in 2:50 flat. I feel kinda bad, that duck has probably killed that dude by now. The last saw of him was the look I took over my shoulder running away as he made the same mistake I did, looking down to see if the duck was hurt worth the read
Being Alone, Ass, and Bad: I'm a 21 year-old male. I was out running my 2 miles. Headphones in, music playing, minding my own
 business. I round the corner at about the halfway point of the run and I see this big black duck looking at
 me. As I get closer, think to myself, "Man, that's a brave duck, why isn't he running away?" I keep running
 and realize the duck not only isn't afraid of me or running away, he's running right at me. So I stop and
 squat down, thinking maybe he was hurt and needed help or something. This bitch ass giant fucking black
 duck takes a huge bite out of my leg. Like, not playing, drew blood kinda bite
 I'm thinking to myself, "What the fuck?" So I'm like, maybe he's just an asshole and I keep running think he
 will leave me alone. I start running again and the faster Irun, the faster he chases me. I start sprinting and
 he is literally flying behind me attacking me. I'm thinking, "Ive got enough fucking problems in my life as it is
 man, I dont need this shit so I stop running again kinda like in disbelief trying to figure out what to do. In all
 my years of being a person, Ive never trained for this
 This little punk ass duck is chomping on my ankles and it's actually really hurting. He starts grabbing my
 shoelaces and untying them as I'm trying to run backwards away from him. Weve covered a quarter mile at
 this point. I try picking him up and throwing him back away from me every time he lunges for blood. I'm
 thinking, "How the fuck am I gonna explain this if I have to go to the doctor for a duck attack? I'm a grown
 ass man. This isbullshit."
 I try running again and he keeps flying after me. I'm at a loss. I dont know what to do at this point. I'm
 manage to get my phone and start texting my girlfriend, asking her what to do. Am I really gonna have to
 kill this duck to get away? Like, I don't want to, but I might have to actually fucking kick this duck or grab it
 by the neck? Seriously?" We have covered 3/4 of a mile at this point. He bites me again and I drop my
 phone. I pick it up quickly. Who do I call? I've got fucking scars and cuts all over me. While I'm debating
 whether stand-your-ground laws apply to ducks, I hear a noise; Someone else was outside walking on an
 adjacent street and came to see what all of the commotion was
 This was a big mistake. The duck smelled blood, and gave up attacking me to chase after my savior. I saw
 my window and booked it home running the last half mile in 2:50 flat. I feel kinda bad, that duck has
 probably killed that dude by now. The last saw of him was the look I took over my shoulder running away
 as he made the same mistake I did, looking down to see if the duck was hurt
worth the read

worth the read

Being Alone, Boner, and Do a Barrel Roll: People Can't Handle The Way Morrissey Describes A Boner In His Novel A bulbous salutation to you all. posted on Sept. 24, 2015, at 9:52 a.m Alan White BuzzFeed News Reporter, UK So, during a sex scene in Morrissey's recently published novel List of the Lost, this happens Eliza's breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra's howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza's body except for the otherwise central zone." jottingprosaist shredsandpatches hedwig-dordt naznomad: martingoresangst Thats the weirdest erotic sentence i've read all month this fucking post singlehandedly ruined my life You don't really appreciate how fucking great fan fic is when it comes to writing sex untill you stop to recognise how Serious Literary Stars fail at writing sex. DO A BARREL ROLL #in all my years of reading fic i have never encountered a sentence this terrible #did he just say that his dick smacked EVERY MUSCLE in her body except you know her vagina? #like I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CHEEK I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE SHOULDER I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CALF #what is your dick doing?? #how do you think sex works morrissey?? Forget what his dick is doing, what are her breasts doing? How do a pair of fat sacks attached to a ribcage barrel-roll anywhere? Let alone across a man's mouth and then his wanger immediately after? Sir, why is your mouth so dong-adjacent? 1s your weiner detachable, is that it? Do you have your joystick clutched in your hand so that you can score a sweet schlong-to-titty-roll immediately after a kiss and then proceed to beat your banana all over her body in the world's most failed attempt at erotic massage? HOW DO YOU THINK SEX WORKS??? Sex, how does it work? [NSFW text]
Being Alone, Boner, and Do a Barrel Roll: People Can't Handle The
 Way Morrissey Describes A
 Boner In His Novel
 A bulbous salutation to you all.
 posted on Sept. 24, 2015, at 9:52 a.m
 Alan White
 BuzzFeed News Reporter, UK
 So, during a sex scene in Morrissey's
 recently published novel List of the
 Lost, this happens
 Eliza's breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra's
 howling mouth and the pained frenzy of
 his bulbous salutation extenuating his
 excitement as it smacked its way into
 every muscle of Eliza's body except for
 the otherwise central zone."
 jottingprosaist
 shredsandpatches
 hedwig-dordt
 naznomad:
 martingoresangst
 Thats the weirdest erotic sentence i've read all month
 this fucking post singlehandedly ruined my life
 You don't really appreciate how fucking great fan fic is when it
 comes to writing sex untill you stop to recognise how Serious
 Literary Stars fail at writing sex.
 DO A BARREL ROLL
 #in all my years of reading fic i have never encountered a sentence this
 terrible #did he just say that his dick smacked EVERY MUSCLE in her
 body except you know her vagina? #like I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE
 CHEEK I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE SHOULDER I'MMA SMACK
 YOU IN THE CALF #what is your dick doing?? #how do you think sex
 works morrissey??
 Forget what his dick is doing, what are her breasts doing? How do a pair
 of fat sacks attached to a ribcage barrel-roll anywhere? Let alone across a
 man's mouth and then his wanger immediately after? Sir, why is your
 mouth so dong-adjacent? 1s your weiner detachable, is that it? Do you
 have your joystick clutched in your hand so that you can score a sweet
 schlong-to-titty-roll immediately after a kiss and then proceed to beat
 your banana all over her body in the world's most failed attempt at
 erotic massage? HOW DO YOU THINK SEX WORKS???
Sex, how does it work? [NSFW text]

Sex, how does it work? [NSFW text]

Drone, Memes, and Drones: TRYING START A RACE WAR WERE TRyNG TO END ONE The difficulty is that I've always cared, But been hiding away from what I feel For a long time I was lost out there Consuming death but still hungry life's meal Time and distance are related still Waiting for travel from sleep to consciousness Waking to see a world full of ills It's like a constant signal of distress I was blind but now I see the mess Time was kind to me I must confess Most never find themselves from wickedness They slumber deep ignorance protests Materialism keeping souls & egos at contest Their pride will profess that inside all is bless But you've regressed to a selfish incest It's only in pain in which you now invest You never took time to heal you just repressed You won't progress you'll stay depressed Because you know that you're lying Your inner self is crying stop denying Superficial is trying to show how much your buying But your mind is sighing while it's heart is dying. It's this fake reality we have been told to protect But you can't achieve parity choking intellect It all this vanity you think you love but interject We are all in the same ship of disrespect The iceberg of truth will sink the misinformation Without hesitation I'm patiently waiting For all to awaken I'm tired of frustration Society is vacant I'm still in amazement How we're still adjacent to justification For murdering nations and more devastation So we can keep up this blissful facade That everyone's ok not emotionally scarred Health disorders, more borders and bars Countless Hors d'oeuvre, immigrants barred I'm having difficulty pretending that this is life is for me Condemning military drones while I have an iPhone Made from the materials that enslave children Because they are brown it's okay that we kill them We still consume, handing them life sentences We go to the moon but build more fences I'm not sure if you are reading this while waking up Or you will remain asleep and stuck Or you are woke but your action is nothing As we sell our purpose do we gain something? chakabars
Drone, Memes, and Drones: TRYING START A RACE WAR
 WERE TRyNG TO
 END ONE
The difficulty is that I've always cared, But been hiding away from what I feel For a long time I was lost out there Consuming death but still hungry life's meal Time and distance are related still Waiting for travel from sleep to consciousness Waking to see a world full of ills It's like a constant signal of distress I was blind but now I see the mess Time was kind to me I must confess Most never find themselves from wickedness They slumber deep ignorance protests Materialism keeping souls & egos at contest Their pride will profess that inside all is bless But you've regressed to a selfish incest It's only in pain in which you now invest You never took time to heal you just repressed You won't progress you'll stay depressed Because you know that you're lying Your inner self is crying stop denying Superficial is trying to show how much your buying But your mind is sighing while it's heart is dying. It's this fake reality we have been told to protect But you can't achieve parity choking intellect It all this vanity you think you love but interject We are all in the same ship of disrespect The iceberg of truth will sink the misinformation Without hesitation I'm patiently waiting For all to awaken I'm tired of frustration Society is vacant I'm still in amazement How we're still adjacent to justification For murdering nations and more devastation So we can keep up this blissful facade That everyone's ok not emotionally scarred Health disorders, more borders and bars Countless Hors d'oeuvre, immigrants barred I'm having difficulty pretending that this is life is for me Condemning military drones while I have an iPhone Made from the materials that enslave children Because they are brown it's okay that we kill them We still consume, handing them life sentences We go to the moon but build more fences I'm not sure if you are reading this while waking up Or you will remain asleep and stuck Or you are woke but your action is nothing As we sell our purpose do we gain something? chakabars

The difficulty is that I've always cared, But been hiding away from what I feel For a long time I was lost out there Consuming death but sti...

Bob Marley, Drone, and Memes: Money is numbers and numbers never end. If it takes money to be happy, your search for happiness will never end Bob Marley The difficulty is that I've always cared, But been hiding away from what I feel For a long time I was lost out there Consuming death but still hungry life's meal Time and distance are related still Waiting for travel from sleep to consciousness Waking to see a world full of ills It's like a constant signal of distress I was blind but now I see the mess Time was kind to me I must confess Most never find themselves from wickedness They slumber deep ignorance protests Materialism keeping souls & egos at contest Their pride will profess that inside all is bless But you've regressed to a selfish incest It's only in pain in which you now invest You never took time to heal you just repressed You won't progress you'll stay depressed Because you know that you're lying Your inner self is crying stop denying Superficial is trying to show how much your buying But your mind is sighing while it's heart is dying. It's this fake reality we have been told to protect But you can't achieve parity choking intellect It all this vanity you think you love but interject We are all in the same ship of disrespect The iceberg of truth will sink the misinformation Without hesitation I'm patiently waiting For all to awaken I'm tired of frustration Society is vacant I'm still in amazement How we're still adjacent to justification For murdering nations and more devastation So we can keep up this blissful facade That everyone's ok not emotionally scarred Health disorders, more borders and bars Countless Hors d'oeuvre, immigrants barred I'm having difficulty pretending that this is life is for me Condemning military drones while I have an iPhone Made from the materials that enslave children Because they are brown it's okay that we kill them We still consume, handing them life sentences We go to the moon but build more fences I'm not sure if you are reading this while waking up Or you will remain asleep and stuck Or you are woke but your action is nothing As we sell our purpose do we gain something? chakabars
Bob Marley, Drone, and Memes: Money is numbers and
 numbers never end.
 If it takes money to be
 happy, your search for
 happiness will
 never end
 Bob Marley
The difficulty is that I've always cared, But been hiding away from what I feel For a long time I was lost out there Consuming death but still hungry life's meal Time and distance are related still Waiting for travel from sleep to consciousness Waking to see a world full of ills It's like a constant signal of distress I was blind but now I see the mess Time was kind to me I must confess Most never find themselves from wickedness They slumber deep ignorance protests Materialism keeping souls & egos at contest Their pride will profess that inside all is bless But you've regressed to a selfish incest It's only in pain in which you now invest You never took time to heal you just repressed You won't progress you'll stay depressed Because you know that you're lying Your inner self is crying stop denying Superficial is trying to show how much your buying But your mind is sighing while it's heart is dying. It's this fake reality we have been told to protect But you can't achieve parity choking intellect It all this vanity you think you love but interject We are all in the same ship of disrespect The iceberg of truth will sink the misinformation Without hesitation I'm patiently waiting For all to awaken I'm tired of frustration Society is vacant I'm still in amazement How we're still adjacent to justification For murdering nations and more devastation So we can keep up this blissful facade That everyone's ok not emotionally scarred Health disorders, more borders and bars Countless Hors d'oeuvre, immigrants barred I'm having difficulty pretending that this is life is for me Condemning military drones while I have an iPhone Made from the materials that enslave children Because they are brown it's okay that we kill them We still consume, handing them life sentences We go to the moon but build more fences I'm not sure if you are reading this while waking up Or you will remain asleep and stuck Or you are woke but your action is nothing As we sell our purpose do we gain something? chakabars

The difficulty is that I've always cared, But been hiding away from what I feel For a long time I was lost out there Consuming death but sti...

Advice, Being Alone, and Anaconda: THE MISLEADING NARRATIVE The Reality ALL "sacred" sites were identified and the pipeline was rerouted to avoid them. US Uncut shared Al Jazeera English's video. Yesterday at 10:36 AM A U.S. District Court confirmed Al Jazeera English uday at 11:30 AM. the tribe had failed to prove any of its claims. A battle is underway between native Americans and oil companies. Here's what you need to know. The tribe was offered ample time to consult with the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, but refused, instead opting "to boycott the entire process." There's ALREADY an existing pipeline on the same land, parallel to the new one. The DAPL's path is on privately owned land, NOT THE SIOUX RESERVATION, and 100% of the ND land owners signed contracts allowing the pipe-line to be built. THE LEFT WANTS YOU TO BUY INTO THEIRVICTIMHOOD NARRATIVE andiPipeline Maps (ConfirmTheSiouxiribe Is NOT Being Harmed By The DAPL! -- WAC <p><a href="http://flyingattreelevel.tumblr.com/post/153966415254/gop-tea-pub-the-misleading-claim-native" class="tumblr_blog">flyingattreelevel</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://gop-tea-pub.tumblr.com/post/152604025097">gop-tea-pub</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p> THE MISLEADING CLAIM: “Native Americans are again being screwed over by the U.S., as the Dakota Access Pipeline encroaches on ‘sacred land’ belonging to the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe, absent consent.”<br/><br/> THE REALITY: “Court documents, official land surveys, and pipeline maps, confirm this is almost entirely false.”<br/><br/> Let’s begin with the notion of “sacred land”. Extensive cultural &amp; land surveys were conducted in North Dakota before the pipeline received approval. It marked some land as “sacred.” The pipeline plans were then redrafted as to avoid ALL “sacred” pieces of land. [a] This isn’t just conservative-media opinion, either, it’s confirmed in the U.S. District Court memorandum, stating:<br/><br/> “Where this surveying revealed …historic or cultural resources that might be affected, the company mostly chose to reroute. In North Dakota, for example, the cultural surveys found 149 potentially eligible sites, 91 of which had stone features (considered sacred). The pipeline workspace and route was modified to avoid ALL 91 of these stone features and all but 9 of the other potentially eligible sites. By the time the company finally settled on a construction path, …the pipeline route had been modified 140 times in North Dakota alone to avoid potential cultural resources. Plans had also been put in place to mitigate any effects on the other 9 sites through coordination with the North Dakota SHPO.” [b]<br/>  <br/> Those modifications convinced the U.S. District Court to rule against the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe, citing the tribe’s inability to show how the pipeline would damage the group’s sacred ground. From the court document itself, it states,  “if a party makes no showing of irreparable injury, the court may deny the motion… It follows, then, that the Court may deny a motion for preliminary injunction, without further inquiry, upon finding that a plaintiff is unable to show either irreparable injury&quot; [b] “The Tribe has not met its burden to show that DAPL-related work is likely to cause damage.” [b]<br/><br/> In addition to providing no substantive evidence to support their case, the Standing Rock Sioux tribe was offered ample time to consult with the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, but refused, instead opting “to boycott the entire consulting process.” [a] This petulance was again confirmed by the court’s review, which showed that, as the Army Corps of Engineers attempted more than a dozen times between 2014 and 2016 to discuss the DAPL route with the Standing Rock, “the tribe either failed to respond to requests for consultation or dragged its feet during the process.” [c] It’s also noteworthy that the company building the pipeline - Energy Transfer Partners - had only originally moved the project near the Standing Rock reservation in the first place because doing so was considered “less impactful on the environment, according to the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.” [d] So any assumption that the company hadn’t gone out of its way to seek consultation and alter its plans in consideration of the environment is absolutely false. <br/><br/> Now that we’ve established that the tribe failed to substantiate its complaints, let’s add this somewhat surprising revelation; THERE’S ALREADY AN EXISTING FUEL PIPELINE IN PLACE, UNDER THE SAME GROUND, WITH NO COMPLAINTS. This - again - was exposed in the court’s review and can be confirmed for yourself via utility pipeline maps. “The area around the permitted activity has been subject to previous surveying for other utility projects. DAPL likewise will run parallel, at a distance of 22 to 300 feet, to an ALREADY-EXISTING natural-gas pipeline under the lake. Dakota Access will also use the less-invasive HDD method to run the pipeline, which will require less disturbance to the land around the drilling and bury the pipeline at a depth that is unlikely to damage cultural resources. [b] One can see this for themselves by viewing side by side maps, one showing the existing pipelines, and the other showing the planned route for the new pipeline. They mirror each other. [f]<br/><br/> Lastly is the issue of land ownership and the presumption that the pipeline encroaches on North Dakotan land owned by indigenous tribes. Wrong again. The truth is, the Dakota Access Pipeline traverses a path on PRIVATE PROPERTY and does not cross into the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe’s reservation. Literally 100% of affected landowners in North Dakota VOLUNTARILY signed contracts allowing for construction of the pipeline on their property. [g] They were offered a good deal and they took it. The Native American reservation is merely adjacent to affected property, it is not the ACTUAL affected property. <br/><br/> One might ask, “but what if neighboring the reservation still puts it in danger?” Here, too, research suggests otherwise. Per a 2015 Fraser Institute Research Report entitled “Safety in the Transportation of Oil and Gas,” transporting oil and gas by pipeline is actually the safest method. Matter of fact, fuel transported via rail is found to be “over 4.5 times more likely to experience an occurrence” than via pipeline. [e] Additionally, “over 70 percent of pipeline occurrences result in spills of ONLY 1 cubic meter, and only 17 percent of pipeline occurrences take place in the actual pipeline.” [e] The vast majority of spills actually occur inside facilities [e], meaning it’s VERY unlikely that anything substantial will leak from the new pipeline.  <br/><br/> CONCLUSION:<br/> Essentially, the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe is complaining that private owners sold the rights to place a fuel pipeline on land that the Tribe does not own, in a way that mirrors existing pipelines, as to transport fuel in the safest and cheapest manner, with designs evolving from countless consultation efforts and professional advice on how to be as environmentally friendly as possible, while specifically redesigning the route an additional 140 times as to avoid offending the tribe, all while the tribe was largely boycotting the consultation efforts and failing to substantiate its complaints in court. What’s happening now, therefore, is nothing more than the political left latching onto the latest controversy as to perpetuate their endless narrative of victimhood.<br/> —————<br/> Sources:<br/> [a]<br/><a href="http://dailycaller.com/2016/10/30/anti-frackers-keep-falsely-suggesting-dapl-desecrated-tribal-lands/">http://dailycaller.com/2016/10/30/anti-frackers-keep-falsely-suggesting-dapl-desecrated-tribal-lands/</a><br/><br/> [b]<br/><a href="http://mwalliancenow.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/Document-39.pdf">http://mwalliancenow.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/Document-39.pdf</a><br/><br/> [c]<br/><a href="http://dailycaller.com/2016/09/17/the-govt-actually-tried-several-times-to-consult-north-dakota-tribe-about-pipeline/">http://dailycaller.com/2016/09/17/the-govt-actually-tried-several-times-to-consult-north-dakota-tribe-about-pipeline/</a><br/><br/> [d]<br/><a href="http://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.reuters.com%2Farticle%2Fus-usa-pipeline-nativeamericans-reroute-idUSKCN11P09K&amp;h=xAQFlYMCu&amp;enc=AZOESF3Bg81XcyZz2Sphg3DZszf_METV6wUxd4-d7xsv-Fmoroch6-xBn30qnuShFF8ou7-jTjj9O1lnTV9nQMr9CIKUKPlRMcSf6fLPh5ysvblDR1SsqIBemgX8VEBCrDkjGOJBxMU_KG6m3utrXn7h3cZR3PwfgLKGqXy12vdJ3CzrZPZL2TXbaLQUZC1PEQE&amp;s=1">http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-pipeline-nativeamericans-reroute-idUSKCN11P09K</a><br/><br/> [e]<br/><a href="https://www.fraserinstitute.org/sites/default/files/safety-in-the-transportation-of-oil-and-gas-pipelines-or-rail-rev2.pdf">https://www.fraserinstitute.org/sites/default/files/safety-in-the-transportation-of-oil-and-gas-pipelines-or-rail-rev2.pdf</a><br/><br/> [f]<br/><a href="https://www.sayanythingblog.com/entry/dakota-access-pipeline-follows-existing-gas-line-protest-area/">https://www.sayanythingblog.com/entry/dakota-access-pipeline-follows-existing-gas-line-protest-area/</a><br/>  <br/> [g]<br/><a href="https://mwalliancenow.org/blog/dakota-access-easements-95-percent/">https://mwalliancenow.org/blog/dakota-access-easements-95-percent/</a> <br/></p> </blockquote> <p>I enjoy factual information, thank you.</p> </blockquote>
Advice, Being Alone, and Anaconda: THE MISLEADING NARRATIVE
 The Reality
 ALL "sacred" sites were
 identified and the pipeline
 was rerouted to avoid them.
 US Uncut shared Al Jazeera English's video.
 Yesterday at 10:36 AM
 A U.S. District Court confirmed
 Al Jazeera English
 uday at 11:30 AM.
 the tribe had failed to prove any
 of its claims.
 A battle is underway between native Americans and oil
 companies. Here's what you need to know.
 The tribe was offered ample time
 to consult with the U.S. Army
 Corps of Engineers, but refused,
 instead opting "to boycott
 the entire process."
 There's ALREADY an existing
 pipeline on the same land,
 parallel to the new one.
 The DAPL's path is on privately
 owned land, NOT THE SIOUX
 RESERVATION, and 100% of the
 ND land owners signed contracts
 allowing the pipe-line to be built.
 THE LEFT WANTS YOU TO BUY INTO
 THEIRVICTIMHOOD NARRATIVE
 andiPipeline Maps (ConfirmTheSiouxiribe
 Is NOT Being Harmed By The DAPL!
 -- WAC
<p><a href="http://flyingattreelevel.tumblr.com/post/153966415254/gop-tea-pub-the-misleading-claim-native" class="tumblr_blog">flyingattreelevel</a>:</p><blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://gop-tea-pub.tumblr.com/post/152604025097">gop-tea-pub</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>
THE
 MISLEADING CLAIM: “Native Americans are again being screwed over by the
 U.S., as the Dakota Access Pipeline encroaches on ‘sacred land’ 
belonging to the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe, absent consent.”<br/><br/> THE REALITY: “Court documents, official land surveys, and pipeline maps, confirm this is almost entirely false.”<br/><br/> Let’s begin with the notion of “sacred land”. Extensive cultural &amp; land surveys were
 conducted in North Dakota before the pipeline received approval. It 
marked some land as “sacred.” The pipeline plans were then redrafted as 
to avoid ALL “sacred” pieces of land. [a] This isn’t just 
conservative-media opinion, either, it’s confirmed in the U.S. District 
Court memorandum, stating:<br/><br/> “Where this surveying revealed 
…historic or cultural resources that might be affected, the company 
mostly chose to reroute. In North Dakota, for example, the cultural 
surveys found 149 potentially eligible sites, 91 of which had stone 
features (considered sacred). The pipeline workspace and route was 
modified to avoid ALL 91 of these stone features and all but 9 of the 
other potentially eligible sites. By the time the company finally 
settled on a construction path, …the pipeline route had been modified 
140 times in North Dakota alone to avoid potential cultural resources. 
Plans had also been put in place to mitigate any effects on the other 9 
sites through coordination with the North Dakota SHPO.” [b]<br/>  <br/> 
Those modifications convinced the U.S. District Court to rule against 
the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe, citing the tribe’s inability to show how 
the pipeline would damage the group’s sacred ground. From the court 
document itself, it states,  “if a party makes no showing of irreparable
 injury, the court may deny the motion… It follows, then, that the 
Court may deny a motion for preliminary injunction, without further 
inquiry, upon finding that a plaintiff is unable to show either 
irreparable injury&quot; [b] “The Tribe has not met its burden to show that 
DAPL-related work is likely to cause damage.” [b]<br/><br/> In addition 
to providing no substantive evidence to support their case, the Standing
 Rock Sioux tribe was offered ample time to consult with the U.S. Army 
Corps of Engineers, but refused, instead opting “to boycott the entire 
consulting process.” [a] This petulance was again confirmed by the 
court’s review, which showed that, as the Army Corps of Engineers 
attempted more than a dozen times between 2014 and 2016 to discuss the 
DAPL route with the Standing Rock, “the tribe either failed to respond 
to requests for consultation or dragged its feet during the process.” 
[c] It’s also noteworthy that the company building the pipeline - Energy
 Transfer Partners - had only originally moved the project near the 
Standing Rock reservation in the first place because doing so was 
considered “less impactful on the environment, according to the U.S. 
Army Corps of Engineers.” [d] So any assumption that the company hadn’t 
gone out of its way to seek consultation and alter its plans in 
consideration of the environment is absolutely false. <br/><br/> Now that
 we’ve established that the tribe failed to substantiate its complaints,
 let’s add this somewhat surprising revelation; THERE’S ALREADY AN 
EXISTING FUEL PIPELINE IN PLACE, UNDER THE SAME GROUND, WITH NO 
COMPLAINTS. This - again - was exposed in the court’s review and can be 
confirmed for yourself via utility pipeline maps. “The area around the 
permitted activity has been subject to previous surveying for other 
utility projects. DAPL likewise will run parallel, at a distance of 22 
to 300 feet, to an ALREADY-EXISTING natural-gas pipeline under the lake.
 Dakota Access will also use the less-invasive HDD method to run the 
pipeline, which will require less disturbance to the land around the 
drilling and bury the pipeline at a depth that is unlikely to damage 
cultural resources. [b] One can see this for themselves by viewing side 
by side maps, one showing the existing pipelines, and the other showing 
the planned route for the new pipeline. They mirror each other. [f]<br/><br/>
 Lastly is the issue of land ownership and the presumption that the 
pipeline encroaches on North Dakotan land owned by indigenous tribes. 
Wrong again. The truth is, the Dakota Access Pipeline traverses a path 
on PRIVATE PROPERTY and does not cross into the Standing Rock Sioux 
Tribe’s reservation. Literally 100% of affected landowners in North 
Dakota VOLUNTARILY signed contracts allowing for construction of the 
pipeline on their property. [g] They were offered a good deal and they 
took it. The Native American reservation is merely adjacent to affected 
property, it is not the ACTUAL affected property. <br/><br/> One might 
ask, “but what if neighboring the reservation still puts it in danger?” 
Here, too, research suggests otherwise. Per a 2015 Fraser Institute 
Research Report entitled “Safety in the Transportation of Oil and Gas,” 
transporting oil and gas by pipeline is actually the safest method. 
Matter of fact, fuel transported via rail is found to be “over 4.5 times
 more likely to experience an occurrence” than via pipeline. [e] 
Additionally, “over 70 percent of pipeline occurrences result in spills 
of ONLY 1 cubic meter, and only 17 percent of pipeline occurrences take 
place in the actual pipeline.” [e] The vast majority of spills actually 
occur inside facilities [e], meaning it’s VERY unlikely that anything 
substantial will leak from the new pipeline.  <br/><br/> CONCLUSION:<br/> 
Essentially, the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe is complaining that private 
owners sold the rights to place a fuel pipeline on land that the Tribe 
does not own, in a way that mirrors existing pipelines, as to transport 
fuel in the safest and cheapest manner, with designs evolving from 
countless consultation efforts and professional advice on how to be as 
environmentally friendly as possible, while specifically redesigning the
 route an additional 140 times as to avoid offending the tribe, all 
while the tribe was largely boycotting the consultation efforts and 
failing to substantiate its complaints in court. What’s happening now, 
therefore, is nothing more than the political left latching onto the 
latest controversy as to perpetuate their endless narrative of 
victimhood.<br/> —————<br/> Sources:<br/> [a]<br/><a href="http://dailycaller.com/2016/10/30/anti-frackers-keep-falsely-suggesting-dapl-desecrated-tribal-lands/">http://dailycaller.com/2016/10/30/anti-frackers-keep-falsely-suggesting-dapl-desecrated-tribal-lands/</a><br/><br/> [b]<br/><a href="http://mwalliancenow.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/Document-39.pdf">http://mwalliancenow.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/Document-39.pdf</a><br/><br/> [c]<br/><a href="http://dailycaller.com/2016/09/17/the-govt-actually-tried-several-times-to-consult-north-dakota-tribe-about-pipeline/">http://dailycaller.com/2016/09/17/the-govt-actually-tried-several-times-to-consult-north-dakota-tribe-about-pipeline/</a><br/><br/> [d]<br/><a href="http://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.reuters.com%2Farticle%2Fus-usa-pipeline-nativeamericans-reroute-idUSKCN11P09K&amp;h=xAQFlYMCu&amp;enc=AZOESF3Bg81XcyZz2Sphg3DZszf_METV6wUxd4-d7xsv-Fmoroch6-xBn30qnuShFF8ou7-jTjj9O1lnTV9nQMr9CIKUKPlRMcSf6fLPh5ysvblDR1SsqIBemgX8VEBCrDkjGOJBxMU_KG6m3utrXn7h3cZR3PwfgLKGqXy12vdJ3CzrZPZL2TXbaLQUZC1PEQE&amp;s=1">http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-pipeline-nativeamericans-reroute-idUSKCN11P09K</a><br/><br/> [e]<br/><a href="https://www.fraserinstitute.org/sites/default/files/safety-in-the-transportation-of-oil-and-gas-pipelines-or-rail-rev2.pdf">https://www.fraserinstitute.org/sites/default/files/safety-in-the-transportation-of-oil-and-gas-pipelines-or-rail-rev2.pdf</a><br/><br/> [f]<br/><a href="https://www.sayanythingblog.com/entry/dakota-access-pipeline-follows-existing-gas-line-protest-area/">https://www.sayanythingblog.com/entry/dakota-access-pipeline-follows-existing-gas-line-protest-area/</a><br/>  <br/> [g]<br/><a href="https://mwalliancenow.org/blog/dakota-access-easements-95-percent/">https://mwalliancenow.org/blog/dakota-access-easements-95-percent/</a>

<br/></p>
</blockquote>

<p>I enjoy factual information, thank you.</p>
</blockquote>

flyingattreelevel: gop-tea-pub: THE MISLEADING CLAIM: “Native Americans are again being screwed over by the U.S., as the Dakota Access P...

Af, Apparently, and Boxing: October 17, 2016 VIAUSPS First Class Mail Technical Examiner Firearms and Ammunition Technology Division 244 Needy Road Suite 1600 Martinsburg, WV 25405 RE: NFA Firearm Technical Question Ma'am or Sir I am writing you in rcgards to related Lechnical questions raised b ne of my clients. Despite the apparent content of the questions, I believe my client is quite serious about the questions and that your answers would certainly be interesting, and helpful to the firearm manufacturing and using community as a whole Certainly, given the financial implications my client should be addressed as a other tech Cal letter from a person conccrned about the NIA implications of their proposed firearm modifications Tn a previous Technical Tetter from your office, you determined that ho a Sig Tac SB15 pisto Klerin! stab ning brace would be in improper use of said brace a he attached pis Lol or automa y Conver firearm into a short barreled rifle or short barreled shotgun without a proper NFA tax stamp Since that determination, a popular internet meme letter had circulated purporting to ask for the technical specifications of the term "shouldering" and whether or not the SB15 must be shouldered "between the shooter's brachial joint extending to the collarbone," or if shouldering would occur should the SBi5 be firmly rested, n order to assisu firing, against any pocket or portion af the human body Iha nitial parody lelter was addressing, specifically, the ea of mou g a Fleshlight sex toy to the SB15 and stabilizing the pistol or "firearm using the male crotch and penis My client appears to actually be considering modifying an SB15 in that exact manner for attachment to an AR-15 pistol or shotgun derived firearm." It is not my place to enguire, nor do I wan o know if s for e purposes of an adult film or for calering to a particular sexual fetish, b ny duty to make sure my client is legally covered in their enterprise Therefore, I ask the following questions, using the attached image, which was apparently created by ie riginal writer of the parody lctter, as an cxample of my client's intent. 1. What exacty constitutes improper "shouldering" of a SigTac SB15 pisrol stabilizing brace terms of placement within the pocket between the brachial joint and collarbone, and in terms of the percentage of the rear surface area of the brace placed within said pocket and the firmness with which the brace rests agains said area of the human body? shouldering is inclusive of firmly pressing said brace aginst o er areas of the body, would the pistol or firearm" be considered "shouldcrcd'' if th attached Sigiac SB15 bra wa s modified to include a Fleshlight or dildo sex toy and then pressed firmly onto or into a person's genitals 3. Related to the answers to those questions, if "shouldering" is dependent upon the total arca pressed firmly into the pocket adjacent to the collarbone, would such a modification as described in the second question b shouldered" if pressed firmly to that area, or would the genera narrowness and unsuitabilily of the Page 1 of 2 nodification for traditional stabilization lcave it outside of the definition of "shouldering I know this is a weird one, but I appreciate your taking the tune to address these questions in a professional and timely manner. Sincerely, Benjamin Blatt Attorney at Law 574.360.4039 BblatL11@gmail.com P O. Box 221 South Bend, IN 46624-0221 File, Client CC Attachments: Internet found image of Sie lac SB15 Tistol Stabilizing Brace modificd with Theshlight sex loy. Page 2 of 2 U.S. Department ot Justice Bureau unAluethal, Tobacco. Kurearms and Exploxives 3311 31 5115 Benjamin Platt PO Box 22 S Hull Bend TN 45624-0221 Dcar Mr. Blatt: Ihis is in reference ka ynuT FTTL'spondcDck.dared october 17, 2nufir othe Rurvau of Alcolol Tobacco. Fircuns, and Explosive (ATT) Firearms Technology Industry Services: Branch. FlisB rospectfully lines Tespond to your inquiries 1egarding lhu SigTau SE15 pistol with lhe Ficshlight attachment. LLerely youns: Michael R. Cun'Liy Thiel Fircamus. Icchnology IndusIry Services Branch. Dear Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, Can You Mount a Fleshlight on . . .
Af, Apparently, and Boxing: October 17, 2016
 VIAUSPS First Class Mail
 Technical Examiner
 Firearms and Ammunition Technology Division
 244 Needy Road
 Suite 1600
 Martinsburg, WV 25405
 RE: NFA Firearm Technical Question
 Ma'am or Sir
 I am writing you in rcgards
 to related Lechnical questions raised b
 ne of my clients. Despite the apparent
 content of the questions, I believe my client
 is quite serious about the questions and that your answers would
 certainly be
 interesting, and helpful to the firearm manufacturing and using community as a whole
 Certainly, given the financial implications
 my client
 should be addressed as a
 other tech
 Cal letter
 from a person conccrned about the NIA implications of their proposed firearm modifications
 Tn a previous Technical Tetter from your office, you determined that ho
 a Sig Tac SB15 pisto
 Klerin!
 stab
 ning brace would be in improper use of said brace a
 he attached pis Lol or
 automa
 y Conver
 firearm
 into a short barreled rifle or short barreled shotgun without a proper NFA tax stamp
 Since that determination, a popular internet meme letter had circulated purporting to ask for the technical
 specifications of the term "shouldering" and whether or not the SB15 must be shouldered "between the
 shooter's brachial joint extending to the collarbone," or if shouldering would occur should the SBi5 be firmly
 rested,
 n order to assisu firing, against any pocket or portion af the human body
 Iha
 nitial parody lelter was addressing, specifically, the
 ea of mou
 g a Fleshlight sex toy to the SB15
 and stabilizing the pistol or "firearm
 using the male crotch and penis
 My client appears to actually be considering modifying an SB15
 in that exact manner for attachment to an
 AR-15 pistol or shotgun derived firearm." It is not my
 place to enguire, nor do I
 wan
 o know if
 s for
 e purposes of an adult film or for calering to a particular sexual fetish, b
 ny duty to make sure my
 client is legally covered in their enterprise
 Therefore, I ask the following questions, using the attached image, which
 was apparently created by
 ie
 riginal writer of the parody lctter, as an cxample of my client's intent.
 1. What exacty constitutes improper "shouldering" of a SigTac SB15 pisrol stabilizing brace
 terms of
 placement within the pocket between the brachial joint and collarbone, and in terms of the percentage of the
 rear surface area of the brace placed within said pocket and the firmness with which the brace rests agains
 said area of the human body?
 shouldering is inclusive of firmly pressing said brace aginst o
 er areas of the body, would the pistol or
 firearm" be considered "shouldcrcd'' if th
 attached Sigiac SB15 bra
 wa
 s modified to include a Fleshlight
 or dildo sex toy and then pressed firmly onto or into a person's genitals
 3. Related to the answers to those questions, if "shouldering" is dependent upon the total arca pressed firmly
 into the pocket adjacent to the collarbone, would such a modification as described in the second question b
 shouldered" if pressed firmly to that area, or would the genera
 narrowness and unsuitabilily of the
 Page 1 of 2

 nodification for traditional stabilization lcave it outside of the definition of "shouldering
 I know this is a weird one, but I appreciate your taking the tune to address these questions in a professional
 and timely manner.
 Sincerely,
 Benjamin Blatt
 Attorney at Law
 574.360.4039
 BblatL11@gmail.com
 P O. Box 221
 South Bend, IN 46624-0221
 File, Client
 CC
 Attachments: Internet found image of Sie lac SB15 Tistol Stabilizing Brace modificd with Theshlight sex loy.
 Page 2 of 2

 U.S. Department ot Justice
 Bureau unAluethal, Tobacco.
 Kurearms and Exploxives
 3311 31 5115
 Benjamin Platt
 PO Box 22
 S Hull Bend TN 45624-0221
 Dcar Mr. Blatt:
 Ihis is in reference ka ynuT FTTL'spondcDck.dared october 17, 2nufir
 othe Rurvau of Alcolol
 Tobacco. Fircuns, and Explosive (ATT) Firearms Technology Industry Services: Branch.
 FlisB rospectfully lines Tespond to your inquiries 1egarding lhu SigTau SE15 pistol with
 lhe Ficshlight attachment.
 LLerely youns:
 Michael R. Cun'Liy
 Thiel Fircamus. Icchnology IndusIry Services Branch.
Dear Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, Can You Mount a Fleshlight on . . .

Dear Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, Can You Mount a Fleshlight on . . .

Africa, Beautiful, and Friends: .oooo T-Mobile Wi-Fi7:10 AM Tweet More than 450 Eritreans died last week in the Mediterranean Sea. Friends N families sharing their photos #Eritrea· R.i ge Reply to Yoel Lino, Meron Estefanos Home Notifications MomentsMessages Me <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://iphotographlove.tumblr.com/post/145746309603">iphotographlove</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://open-plan-infinity.tumblr.com/post/145709454230">open-plan-infinity</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://thomas-notrain.tumblr.com/post/145707636537">thomas-notrain</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://dynastylnoire.tumblr.com/post/145707305755">dynastylnoire</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://noirmujeres.tumblr.com/post/145691939734">noirmujeres</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Didn’t even know…..</p> </blockquote> <p>Jesus…..Rip</p> </blockquote> <p>All beautiful people, and yet we heard nothing about it</p> </blockquote> <h2><b>A little context on what they were fleeing from:</b></h2> <p>Eritrea is one of the most repressive countries on earth, regularly referred to as Africa’s North Korea. Reporters Without Borders ranks it 179th among 179 countries when it comes to freedom of expression, lower than North Korea itself. </p> <p>Barely anyone is allowed a mobile phone. You need a permit to host a dinner party. A permit to travel to an adjacent village. Writing down a song or poem on a piece of paper could see you jailed for producing anti-government propaganda.  Even reporters for state-run outlets live in constant fear of arrest. The UN, in a report last year, concluded the population is kept in “a permanent state of anxiety”.<br/></p> <p> Extra-judicial killings, torture, enforced disappearances and arbitrary arrest are commonplace. There are at least 10,000 political prisoners in jail to silence political dissent <a href="http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aljazeera.com%2Fnews%2Fafrica%2F2013%2F05%2F20135913352747625.html&amp;t=Njg1Nzc5ODEzYjRhNDBjMDE4ODI1ZWU1NWFiMjk2NDc0MGRkMDU4NiwwbjJwN2ZCYQ%3D%3D">(x)</a><br/></p> <p>There is mandatory indefinite military conscription from ages 18 through to 55 (in a country where life expectancy is 61) where 1 in 20 of the population currently serve.  The regime keeps the state on a war footing so it can conscript citizens into a form of forced labour, spending more time building homes for officials and officers than defending the country. There is also systematic sexual abuse of women in the military and pregnancies are banned.</p> <p>One soldier complained about lack of vacation time and was jailed for two years, where he got one meal a day and one shower a month. He said “Hell is better” than Eritrea <a href="http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.haaretz.com%2Fisrael-news%2Fthe-north-korea-of-africa-where-you-need-a-permit-to-have-dinner-with-friends-1.463319&amp;t=NTljYzViYmY4OTdkZDgyYWUyMTA1ZTA3NDZhYzI2Yzk5NzQwZDI3NSwwbjJwN2ZCYQ%3D%3D">(x)</a>. Prisoners are regularly and systematically beaten, bound and tortured.</p> <p> It accounts for less than 0.1 per cent of its continent’s people, yet last year there were more Eritreans arriving in Europe than from any other nation apart from refugees escaping war-torn Syria. Every month about 5,000 people flee the repressive nation. <br/></p> <p><a href="http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.telegraph.co.uk%2Fnews%2Fworldnews%2Fafricaandindianocean%2Feritrea%2F10353511%2FEritrea-the-African-North-Korea-which-thousands-will-risk-anything-to-escape.html&amp;t=MTQ0MTI4M2E1N2M1MzMyOTc3ZTIyZWRmYTg0NDcwOTM4YjQ1NDdkNCwwbjJwN2ZCYQ%3D%3D">source </a>/ <a href="http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.channel4.com%2Fnews%2Fafricas-north-korea-why-do-people-flee-eritrea&amp;t=OWE2MzdjOTliMjYxMzU1ZTE3OTJjNjkxZmVkMDA0OGJjNzc5YjU2NCwwbjJwN2ZCYQ%3D%3D"> source</a> / <a href="http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aljazeera.com%2Fnews%2Fafrica%2F2013%2F05%2F20135913352747625.html&amp;t=Njg1Nzc5ODEzYjRhNDBjMDE4ODI1ZWU1NWFiMjk2NDc0MGRkMDU4NiwwbjJwN2ZCYQ%3D%3D">source</a> / <a href="http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.haaretz.com%2Fisrael-news%2Fthe-north-korea-of-africa-where-you-need-a-permit-to-have-dinner-with-friends-1.463319&amp;t=NTljYzViYmY4OTdkZDgyYWUyMTA1ZTA3NDZhYzI2Yzk5NzQwZDI3NSwwbjJwN2ZCYQ%3D%3D">source</a> </p> </blockquote> <p>😔</p> </blockquote>
Africa, Beautiful, and Friends: .oooo T-Mobile Wi-Fi7:10 AM
 Tweet
 More than 450 Eritreans died last week
 in the Mediterranean Sea. Friends N
 families sharing their photos #Eritrea·
 R.i
 ge
 Reply to Yoel Lino, Meron Estefanos
 Home
 Notifications MomentsMessages
 Me
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://iphotographlove.tumblr.com/post/145746309603">iphotographlove</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://open-plan-infinity.tumblr.com/post/145709454230">open-plan-infinity</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://thomas-notrain.tumblr.com/post/145707636537">thomas-notrain</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://dynastylnoire.tumblr.com/post/145707305755">dynastylnoire</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://noirmujeres.tumblr.com/post/145691939734">noirmujeres</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Didn’t even know…..</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Jesus…..Rip</p>
</blockquote>
<p>All beautiful people, and yet we heard nothing about it</p>
</blockquote>
<h2><b>A little context on what they were fleeing from:</b></h2>
<p>Eritrea is one of the most repressive countries on earth, regularly referred to as Africa’s North Korea. Reporters Without Borders ranks it 179th among 179 countries when it comes to freedom of expression, lower than North Korea itself. </p>
<p>Barely anyone is allowed a mobile phone. You need a permit to host a dinner party. A permit to travel to an adjacent village. Writing down a song or poem on a piece of paper could see you jailed for producing anti-government propaganda.  Even reporters for state-run outlets live in constant fear of arrest.

The UN, in a report last year, concluded the population is kept in “a permanent state of anxiety”.<br/></p>
<p>

Extra-judicial killings, torture, enforced disappearances and arbitrary arrest are commonplace. There are at least 10,000 political prisoners in jail to silence political dissent <a href="http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aljazeera.com%2Fnews%2Fafrica%2F2013%2F05%2F20135913352747625.html&amp;t=Njg1Nzc5ODEzYjRhNDBjMDE4ODI1ZWU1NWFiMjk2NDc0MGRkMDU4NiwwbjJwN2ZCYQ%3D%3D">(x)</a><br/></p>
<p>There is mandatory indefinite military conscription from ages 18 through to 55 (in a country where life expectancy is 61) where 1 in 20 of the population currently serve.  The regime keeps the state on a war footing so it can conscript citizens into a form of forced labour, spending more time building homes for officials and officers than defending the country. There is also systematic sexual abuse of women in the military and pregnancies are banned.</p>
<p>One soldier complained about lack of vacation time and was jailed for two years, where he got one meal a day and one shower a month. 

He said “Hell is better” than Eritrea <a href="http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.haaretz.com%2Fisrael-news%2Fthe-north-korea-of-africa-where-you-need-a-permit-to-have-dinner-with-friends-1.463319&amp;t=NTljYzViYmY4OTdkZDgyYWUyMTA1ZTA3NDZhYzI2Yzk5NzQwZDI3NSwwbjJwN2ZCYQ%3D%3D">(x)</a>. Prisoners are regularly and systematically beaten, bound and tortured.</p>
<p>



 It accounts for less than 0.1 per cent of its continent’s people, yet last year there were more Eritreans arriving in Europe than from any other nation apart from refugees escaping war-torn Syria.

Every month about 5,000 people flee the repressive nation.

<br/></p>
<p><a href="http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.telegraph.co.uk%2Fnews%2Fworldnews%2Fafricaandindianocean%2Feritrea%2F10353511%2FEritrea-the-African-North-Korea-which-thousands-will-risk-anything-to-escape.html&amp;t=MTQ0MTI4M2E1N2M1MzMyOTc3ZTIyZWRmYTg0NDcwOTM4YjQ1NDdkNCwwbjJwN2ZCYQ%3D%3D">source </a>/ <a href="http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.channel4.com%2Fnews%2Fafricas-north-korea-why-do-people-flee-eritrea&amp;t=OWE2MzdjOTliMjYxMzU1ZTE3OTJjNjkxZmVkMDA0OGJjNzc5YjU2NCwwbjJwN2ZCYQ%3D%3D">

source</a> /

<a href="http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aljazeera.com%2Fnews%2Fafrica%2F2013%2F05%2F20135913352747625.html&amp;t=Njg1Nzc5ODEzYjRhNDBjMDE4ODI1ZWU1NWFiMjk2NDc0MGRkMDU4NiwwbjJwN2ZCYQ%3D%3D">source</a> /

<a href="http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.haaretz.com%2Fisrael-news%2Fthe-north-korea-of-africa-where-you-need-a-permit-to-have-dinner-with-friends-1.463319&amp;t=NTljYzViYmY4OTdkZDgyYWUyMTA1ZTA3NDZhYzI2Yzk5NzQwZDI3NSwwbjJwN2ZCYQ%3D%3D">source</a> </p>
</blockquote>
<p>😔</p>
</blockquote>

iphotographlove: open-plan-infinity: thomas-notrain: dynastylnoire: noirmujeres: Didn’t even know….. Jesus…..Rip All beautiful people...