malfunctioning that's not good I have to press it two or three times just to insert a freaking space Maybe the evil little faeries with the sharp little teeth have put their evil faerie dust on my computer Or maybe not This is too frustrating Goodbye for now Now I'm back And still frustrated But for a different reason Today I had the misfortune of playing a Treasure Planet game on neopetscom It was terrible Apparently the point of the game was to get your character to shout Whoo-Hoo! as many times as possible before you splattered your brains on the rocks all the while listening to a soundtrack that is similar to a dying ceiling fan Of course when I started out I accidentally hit the rocks approximately three million times Halfway though I used my four remaining brain-cells to decide that the game was dumb So my goal changed from surviving to laughing evilly while my character died So the game naturally did everything it could to preserve my life The stupid game is still going on and I refuse to quit because I want my points My character is actually dodging the stupid rocks better now then when I controlled him I hate irony Seeya Okay Now I'm back again Today I added an update page which is basically a less chaotic outlined version of this without all the ranting It's more like techno talk about arrays and how much I suck and whether or not the Braves will win this year Okay the whole braves thing is made up But everything else I've said so far is true I think Maybe I should start on a boring disclaimer Eh-hem All contents of this site were designed for entertainment purposes only Any use thereof that is not stated in the above mentioned statement would make the author hereby referred to as Patron Saint of Paper Clips very angry Should you violate the purpose of this site ie become not entertained the Patron Saint of Paper Clips will be forced to take drastic measures This is specified in Code 343 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook Ooo00that's a great idea! I'm gonna start quoting from the Flaming Chicken Handbook! Code 343 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook states that the Patron Saint of Paper Clips that's me is allowed to cause vague pain like sensations while the offending person or alien life form dog etc isn't paying attention Now I have a purpose in life! To make up quotes from the non-existent Flaming Chicken Handbook which I'm sure you have a copy of No? Too bad It's in the mail I promise! Now I must take my leaveand remember Cheese is watching OkayI'm backI think that eventually half of this thing will consist of the word back over and over againthat's just weird Which fits the motif of the rest of the site There's even a money back guarantee Isn't that nice? See? Now no one can ever say that I don't take care of my viewers Especially since I don't have viewers I have readers WaitI really don't even know if anyone bothers to read this Even if I put it in a less chaotic more user-friendly format people would still ignore this because it involves reading Yes Sad to admit but the majority of people would rather read the summary at the back of a book rather than the whole book itself What has the world come to? It's pathetic Especially since I'm bothering to write all this It's not fair! Why can't I have more readers?! All the other internet writers have nothing on me except they're better at advertising having a central themeplot and basically more talented Whereas I'm more into the whole ranting and raving stage right now Plus I am horrible found at that yet another one of my friends is reading this Creepy Just how much time do they have on their hands Perhaps their just trying to be nice I can just see it nowan organization devoted not to feeding the hungry or peace or love or whatever but to giving recognition to all those poor pathetic unpopular websites I wonder what it's name would be Don't Ignore Sites? Would it be called DIS? Isn't that like a slang term for an insult? Would that be considered poetic justice or just a nice coincidence? And why do I even care? I'll tell you why Because I have nothing else to do right now I could be playing neopets but ever since my bad experience with Treasure Planet I don't feel like it Oh by the way I noticed that whenever I use spell-check my stupid computer turns the word probley into to word problem To prevent this I did nothing So it is now up to you the imaginary reader to decide whether I mean probley or problemit's almost like a game! But without the bad sound track And I promise not to force you to live when you would rather die Moving on I have nothing else to say but don't feel like quitting just yet I'm like the little engine that could Or maybe the Energizer Bunny I just keep going and going and going Or I could be like that annoying guy on TV who keeps asking if you can hear him If my site manages to last a decade my readers *snicker* will probley wonder what I'm talking about My answer is simple It doesn't matter I'm just rambling Which means that it doesn't matter ifyou understand anything I say Doesn't that make you feel better? I bet it does Wow Look how long this has gotten I even impress myself Who would have thought I have this much free time? And I congratulate any reader who has gotten this far Ooooooo! You must check out the fortunes section of the random stuff page! Ive just gotten an idea for some more original fortunesI gotta go!may the moose be with you And now I am back I swear If il fill out the fake tab form I'm gonna have to put back as my favorite word I already have filled it out though Would it be cheating to fill it out again? Only if I had multiple personalities Or would it be cheating if I didn't have multiple personalities? The world may never know Just like how many licks it takes to get to the bottom of a tootsie pop Would it vary? The number of licks I mean Someone could have super-dis olving spit or watery-spit Or what if you took big ol' slobbery licks? Does the commercial take that into account? No It doesn't And let me tell you it's an outrage It deludes all of American's sweet innocent candy-loving children into thinking that a cartoon owl is smarter than they are! Mr Owl can you tell us how many licks does it take to get to the bottom of a tootsie pop? Or whatever And Mr Owl replies OneTwooThree! Chomp And he bites it That teaches our youth that it's okay to agree to help someone and then ruin their experiment Wellit's not I am going to start a protest group Teens Against Cartoon Owls We could call ourselves TACO! I love the little tacos I love them good! That is a direct quote from GIR co-star and comic-relief on INVADER ZIM Hmmmmintersting I put hyphens in both of his titlesit must be a conspiracy! I gotta go Those TACO buttons don't make themselves you know I'm back again And not so cheesed off about the whole tootsie roll pop thing Right now I have another twenty minutes on the Internet before I'm gonna watch TV And I can't think of anything else to do So predictably here I am It's not like I have anything better to do Obviously you know this After all look how long this text is I wonder if I've made the world record? If I did would I stop this? Why bother asking? I'll wil Meme

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found ON 2019-11-22 12:41:16 BY conservativememes

source: reddit